shitty quality sorry but it was too funny i had to

anonymous asked:

So prompt ironfalcon - Tony designed the original wings okay and did the maintenance before Afghanistan and knew Sam /very/ well, and Steve goes to introduce them and they're like we know each other *flirting while steve watches in confusion*


MCU timelines are a thing of incomprehension. According to the MCU wiki, the Jericho missile was created in 2010, and the EXO-7 thing was “sometime before 2014″ which I’m assuming means that Winter Soldier takes place in 2014. *eyes MCU timeline* Sure. We’ll just… go with that.

Whatever, let’s just consider timelines to be wibbly wobbly.


Tony Stark had a reputation. He was charming, an asshole, egotistical (and had a reason for it, with his genius and successful company), and damn good with weapons.

Sam wasn’t expecting anything more, and the first time he met Tony Stark, he didn’t get it.

Charming smile, quick words and handshakes, eyes that never settled on anyone for long. Except Rhodes. The smile was a bit looser, the words a bit warmer, when directed at Rhodes. But then, they’d supposedly known each other since their college days, and Rhodes was starting a liaison position with SI and the military.

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His little doll and his little bird

Pairing: Bucky x reader x Clint

Request: Hello I have a request if I may..I’d love nothing more than to see a Clint and Bucky poly relationship.I have a soft spot for Clint and I’d love to see more of him he makes me feel like home and with Bucky oh my goodness.😳it’d just make me so happy.

A/n the writers block is OVER ! ! !

Waking up in the embrace of the men you loved is the best feeling in the world. Especially when one of them was gone for two months because their field partner didn’t know what he was doing. Bucky looked horrible when he stumbled into your apartment at a quarter past midnight. You and Clint did your best to clean up Bucky’s injuries before you guys got him ready for bed.

“Doll?” you heard Bucky’s voice as you woke up.

“Yeah baby?” you answered as you touched his cheek while Clint held onto you tight.

“Do you think you can make me waffles?” you kissed his nose at his request.

“You can have anything you want” you replied before placed your hand over Clint’s. “Clint sweetie, do you think you can let go of me so I can make breakfast?”

“Can I get some waffles too?”

“Of course you can” you moved so now you were facing Clint. “What kind of girlfriend would I be if I made waffles for one of you and not the other.”

“Thank you little bird” you kissed his nose as well before he let you go and you got out of bed.

“We’ll be out in a little bit.” you heard Bucky yelling once you got to the kitchen. Smiling to yourself you started making the waffles.

The guys joined you a few minutes later and started getting the table set. “Clint can you make the coffee?”

“I’m on it” he kissed your cheek before we went towards the coffee maker. After a few more minutes you carrying the plate full of waffles towards the table. “Alright hot coffee coming your way”

Bucky helped Clint with the mugs and placed them on the table near each plate. “They smell delicious y/n. You have no idea how happy I am that I’m having a home cook meal and not junk off the street.”

“I’ll bet. Now let’s dig in” you guys started eating as Bucky was telling us about the mission that kept him away from you. He said that he was going to request that he will never do a mission with that agent he was paired with again.

“Enough about me, what do you have planned for today” Bucky asked as you guys were enjoying your breakfast.

“Paperwork and lunch with nat. Why?” You asked as you were cutting up a waffle.

“While you were making breakfast we were talking about how we wanted to do something special for you.” Clint began.

“We know how worried you get when we are out on missions.” Bucky finished.

“You guys really don’t have to. I know you guys love me and appreciate me. You guys show me how much any chance you get” you reached out and held both of their hands.

“We know that but we still want to do something special” Clint kissed you hand.

“Alright if you guys want do something special how about a nice home cooked meal. You know how much I love your cooking Clint.” you responded “and maybe we can have some "alone time” with no interruption. That means ALL of our phones will be off.“

"Done and done” Bucky kissed your other hand before both men let go of your hands. All you could do was smile at the loves of your lives as you continue eating your breakfast.

*time skip*

The rest of the morning was pretty much boring. It was nothing but paper work and phone calls for you. Although you were able to hear Bucky yelling at someone because he was telling them about what happened on the mission. Fury actually called you and Clint over so you guys could calm Bucky down. You guys actually stayed with him until lunch time.

“You should go. You’re going to be late to lunch with nat.” Clint told you as you sat on Bucky’s lap in your office.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah I’m sure. I have Clint.” he kissed your shoulder

“Ok. I love you guys” you kissed both of the men before you left to meet Natasha at the restaurant.

Once you got there you told her what happened and she started laughing because she already knew. You guys then started talking about your personal lives and she started asking about your relationship with the guys.

“I still can’t believe you’re dating both of them. Do they ever get jealous of one another?” Natasha asked as she took a bit of her food.

“No they don’t. We love each other so much that there is no room for jealousy.” you answered honestly.

“Do you get jealous the woman that approach them? Some of those woman are shameless as hell.”

“No I don’t get jealous” you laughed “both of them are super quick to shut down anyone that tries to flirt with them. I actually remember vividly a time when some girl was flirting hardcore with Clint. Clint told her that I was his girlfriend and the girl said she didn’t care. That she has no problem breaking up a couple”

“What a bitch” Natasha angrily commented.

“It was hilarious. Clint told her that instead trying to get into a relationship with a taken man that she should go to church and get into a relationship with Jesus. Bucky then asked her what man broke her heart so bad that she turned out so heartless.” you laughed. It really was funny because the girl looked like she was about to cry when the guys said that to her.

“I knew Clint was a sassy bitch but damn” she started laughing “do they get jealous if a guy hits on you.”

“So fucking jealous.” you smiled at yourself. “Do you remember that guy that was checking me out at Tony’s party last week. The creepy one with the green suit.”


“Well when I came out of the bathroom I caught both of them pinning the guy against the wall. They threatened him saying that if you caught him staring at me that they were cut his throat.” You honestly love your boys.

“So that’s why we didn’t see him for the rest of the night.”

“Yup. My boys took care of him.” you swirled your straw in your cup. “So let’s get back to you’re love life. How are things with Steve.” You gave her a smug look.

“How did you-” she looked nervous

“I’m your best friend nat, I know when you like someone. By the way he likes you too” you smiled at your best friend.

“He does !”

“Yeah. Bucky told me right before he left for the mission. I was meaning to tell you but I guess it slipped my mind.”

“How do you think I should let him know I’m interested in him” you were shocked at her question. You’ve known Natasha for a couple of years but you’ve never seen her like this. You guys spent the rest of lunch planning how Natasha was going to tell Steve that she’s interested in him.

*time skip*

“Oh my gosh it smells amazing in here.” you shouted as you took in the delicious smell. Placing your bag on the sofa you made your way into the kitchen were you watched your men cooking you dinner.

“Taste this.” Clint walked towards you with a spoon full of sauce. After blowing on it you tasted the sauce and you felt like you died and went to heaven.

“That tastes amazing Clint.” you gave him a peck. “I’m going to go shower ok?”

“Make it quick, the foods almost ready” Bucky said as he was pouring noodles into a pot. You quickly went over to him and gave him a kiss before you went to your bathroom to take a shower.

After a quick shower and blow drying your hair you changed into dress Bucky bought you a while ago. It was an a-line dress that cut off on the knee.

“How do I look?” you asked as you entered the dinning room. You were in awe. The table was set up beautifully and the food was placed on the table.

“Like my perfect little doll” Bucky smiled as he placed the last wine glass on the table before he walked towards me. “You look stunning”

“Thank you buck” you kissed him as he placed his hands on your waist.

“You always look stunning though little bird.” Clint came up behind you and placed a kiss on your neck.

Moaning against Bucky’s lips you pulled away “let’s save this for later” you managed to squeeze out and took your place at the table.

Dinner was amazing. You guys spent the time laughing as Bucky told more stories about his mission. He reminded you guys that although he had a shitty time on the mission he still managed to mess with his dick of a partner.

After dinner you guys were sitting in your living room planning out your vacation you guys were going on. Clint talked to fury after lunch about you guys having a two weeks off so you guys could spend quality time together. Surprisingly fury agreed immediately and even suggested us take the month off.

You guys decide to spend a month in Hawaii. You wanted to spend your days in the sun and the guys wanted to see you in a bikini the entire trip.

“I’ll be right back. I forgot I baked something for you.” Bucky got up and walked back into the kitchen.

“While he’s gone” Clint took this opportunity to scoop you up and placed you on his lap. “Let’s have a little fun” you guys began to kiss. Clint’s hands were groping your thigh as you slipped your tongue in his mouth.

“Mmm” you moaned

“Having fun without me?” you guys broke you kiss and noticed Bucky was carrying a slice of chocolate cake.

“I’m sorry buck. But now that your here come and join us.” you got Bucky’s hand and tugged it so he would know to sit down next to Clint again. Once he was seated you moved so you were able to rest your legs on top of Bucky’s thighs.

“Open up” opening your mouth Bucky fed you a piece of the cake.

“This is so good” you moaned as your taste buds went wild. “Try some” you got the fork and cut a piece before feeding it to Bucky.

“So delicious.” he replied as swallows the piece of cake. “Give some to Clint.” you cut a piece for Clint before you fed him.

“It is delicious. Good job on the cake buck.” he pecked your lips before before he swallowed the cake.

“Thanks Clint” he leaned forward and kissed Clint and causing you to moan in delight. You always loved when they made out in front of you.

“Wait let me put the cake on the table.” you got up and place the cake on the coffee table. “Ok continue.” both men turned towards you and started kissing your neck.

“Bedroom?” Bucky bit your ear as he squeezed your inner thigh.

“Please ! ! ! I need you guys now ! ! !” both men got up and grabbed your hands before you guys made your way towards your bedroom.

Once inside you guys started to take each other’s clothes off. “Go lay down for us little bird.” Clint smacked your butt before you climbed on the bed and spread your legs for your guys.

“Oh god I missed you and this little minx” Bucky grabbed the back of Clint’s neck and pulled him into a kiss. “Let’s go give her hell.”

“Ruin me.” you smirked at them before they joined you. Both of them laid down near your legs and the took turns licking your pussy. “I want one of you on my clit and I want the others fingers inside me.”

Bucky looked at you surprised. “When did you start calling the shots?”

“Last month” Clint laughed before he inserted his fingers. “Go for her clit.” Bucky began sucking on your clit at Clint’s order.

“Oh god” you closed your eyes and gripped their hair as Clint pumped his fingers inside you. “I missed the both of you treating me like queen.”.

“You are our queen.” you heard Clint before his pumped his fingers inside you faster. “Let me play with her clit.”

“Ok” Bucky pulled away and began fucking you with his metal fingers.

“SHITTT ! ! ! I love it when you use your metal fingers buck.” you gripped the sheets as Clint nibbled on your clit. “Oh just like that Clint.”

Bucky removed his fingers before him and Clint ran their tongues over your over your folds. “You want to cum, don’t you?”


“Then cum”

“AHHHH ! ! !” you screamed as you came. Bucky and Clint were eager to lick you clean. Once you were they sat up.

“Can I go first? I want to be inside her so bad” Bucky asked Clint.

“Of course you can” Clint flipped you over so you were laying on your stomach. “She’s all yours.”

“I hope you’re ready doll.” Bucky lifted you up by your waist and made you get on all fours.

“Oh god yes ! ! !” you moaned as Bucky pushed himself inside your. “Clint baby come over here. Let me take care of you” Clint got on the bed and knelt down in front of you so you could get a hold of his cock.

“Oh fuck”

“Come here” you heard Bucky before you felt clint lean into Bucky and watched as they began to kiss.

“Mmmmm” you moaned around Clint as Bucky started to pick up his pace.

“Switch?” you heard Bucky tell Clint before they both pulled away from you.

You let out a loud moan as Clint slammed himself inside you.“I’m so close y/n I’m not going to hold back.”

“CLINT ! ! !” you shouted as he didn’t hold back and started to spank you. Bucky took the opportunity that your mouth was opened and slipped his cock in your mouth.

“Oh that’s it” Bucky held onto your held as he started to fuck your mouth. “Suck.”

Loud moans filled your tiny living room as your men had their way with you.

“Ahhh shit.” Clint dug his nails into your waist as he nearing his end.

You moaned around Bucky’s cock as you felt him twitching in your mouth. “Do you want me to cum in your mouth?”

All you could do was nod yes as you looked up at him. He let out a dry laugh and with one final thrust you felt his cum sliding down your throat.

“That’s it, swallow it.” Bucky gripped your hair tighter. “How close are you?”

“So close” Clint grunted as he continued to slap your ass. “So fucking close.”

You were so focused on swallowing all of Bucky’s cum you didn’t realize Clint was going to cum.

“Oh shit.” you felt Clint’s cum shooting inside you.

“Ahhhhh” you moaned loudly once Bucky pulled away, some of his cum was sliding from the side of your mouth. “I’m cumming”. You came for the second time.

“You look so beautiful cumming my little doll.” Bucky ran his finger through your hair as Clint slowed down his pace until he eventually pulled out.

“Come here little bird” Bucky helped you up and turned you around so you were facing Clint. “I love you my y/n”.

“I love you too Clint.” you gave Clint a tender kiss before you turn towards Bucky. “I love you Bucky.”.

“I love you too my little doll.” he gave you a kiss before you guys got under the cover and drifted off to sleep.

davekat popstar au 3/3

davekat humanstuck AU where Dave is a popstar and Karkat is some rando who’s never heard of him. sfw, about 2300 words.

first parts are here and here

Ampora laughs at you. Straight up points a finger and chortles. Dave–Strider, whatever– doesn’t. If anything he looks chagrined.

Yeah, well, maybe he should be, you think savagely. Maybe if his music was better I would have heard it. As if you don’t relentlessly avoid anything considered ‘popular’. Popular shit is for the masses, and the masses are idiots. It’s been scientifically proven.  

You’re too busy hating yourself and the rest of the human race to catch what Dave says to get Ampora to leave, but he does. Dave slumps back against the railing, palming at his eyes and smearing his makeup further. “Dude, chill. It’s not a big deal.”

You will not chill, you will slop the hysteria inside you all over this goddamn balcony.

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Manga for the Servamp-Anime Party Volume 9 Special

Mahiru: Today we celebrate, that you all can see us soon in anime form! [Ha Ha!]
Mahiru: Thank you for all your support! [Im so excited!]
Kuro: Bewitch yourself from me even in the anime….[Miauuu…] It will be a really peaceful and relaxing anime…
Mahiru: [?!] Shut up! Thats not even right!!

//Translator note: To match the 1:1 translation here is quite difficult. I hope its alright that way… And Mahiru looks really cute in this panel xD//

Mahiru: Its a modern Fantasy-Battle-Story about a high school student Mahiru Shirota, who makes a contract with a vampire and while he fights, he growths beyond himself(?)…!! //T.N: Not sure how to translate…//
Kuro: You are really dramatizing it….
Mahiru: Im not!
Misono: I heard, that Im the main character in the anime! Im looking forward to it!
//T.n: You would have been… if they did not skipped the Lust arc. <_</ //

Mahiru: Who said THAT?!
Lily: Im worried, if Misono and I will fit in the same picture… [Because of the high difference…] //T.n: LoL//
Misono: WHAT?!

Tetsu: Should I give you a shoulder ride… hm…? [Why are you suddenly so big…?]
Misono: Shut up!! In the anime Im just a little bit bigger!! [Somehow like this right now!!]
[ >:< That definitley wont happen.]

//T.n: Yeah. I definitley ship them…//

Lawless: Hey, in the anime we two will definitly get the main roles!
Mahiru: Why does everyone want to steal my main role?! [You two will get it definitley NOT!]
Licht: In the anime, where I play the main role, Im followed by sweet cats, so I seem even brighter in my appearence….
Mahiru: That would be like a complete another story?!

//T.n: Kuro on lichts head <3//

Licht: And why that…? Because Im an angel!
Lawless: Licht-tan, you are really a superduper-angel!! Im so excited to do the Angelpose in the anime!!
Licht: Shut up, Dirt/Shitty-Hedgedog!
Mahiru: I have no idea wheter that really will happen?! And why am I the only one, who has like no idea what will really happen!!??

Sakuya: I heard, it will be an anime about Mahirus and my wonderful school life
Tsubaki: What should that be? Who wants to see something like that?!
Sakuya: I! //T.N: I! Whole SakuxMaki fandom: We!//
Tsubaki: Thats so booooring…[he really means it!] or more like scary… [Uwaah…]

Tsubaki: Will it not be an anime, where I eat sweets, while the camera shows me in a sexy side angel? [So it seems like Im saying: Do you want something too…?]
 //T.n: I would watch every episode. Every 24 of it.//

Mahiru: That dont even deal with vampires anymore! [And you can do THAT youself!]
Mikuni: The anime-adaption…? So finally you all can hear my wonderful voice. [Certainly, I will have a wonderful entrance.]
//T.n: He really has one of my fav. voice actors <3//
Mahiru: Mikuni… I dont even know whetever you will make an appaerance or not…
Mikuni: [Of course I will appaer!] What kind of nonsense are you talking about! 

Mikuni: We all are excited for Abels wonderful voice, arent we? <3 Abel? <3
[What are you saying…? You are excited too.]
Mahiru: Hai, Hai, Abel (aka Mikuni Alisuin), right! Eh… What? [What are you babbling about? Thats only a doll?!]

Kuro: So… after we all had a bit fun… [Hopp…]
Shield: We all tricked you!
Mahiru: Hey! Stopp it!! That was not meant to be funny! The anime will really come and I will be the main character!
Mahiru: Please everyone, be excited!

The Anime will really come! Please watch it everyone.

So… From Volume 9 there are two extra left, but they wont take that long to translate…
Im so sorry that you all must switch between text and picture but i dont really know how to scanlate and which programms I need… >_<
Hope you are okay with that. I even took the two pages and splitted them, so you all can follow better…The photo quality raised a bit… And I hope you dont mind my Translator Notes. It helped me to calm myself while translating :’D

And thanks for all the reblogs and likes I got!! Its my first time doing that all, and maybe all of you noticed that my english is not the best, but still were so kind to overlook these things <3 (When you find big mistakes i dont mind if you tell me them, so i can fix it!!) Love ya all!!

anonymous asked:

I hate when Kishimoto use excuses to justify his shitty writing. Things like "I'd like to do that but wasn't popular" "I don't know how to write a female character" "I didn't do that because there is no time", etc just make me so mad. I always think: He had YEARS to fix his problems as a writer and he just got worst and worst. Also just do what the fuck is in your mind and forget about popularity and if you need to do things for the fandom do it right. Sorry this is just a complain LOL

This is one of the reasons I laugh whenever the pro said “stop disrespecting kishimoto”. Kishi has no standards for himself, he makes excuses for his own failures. Why should I respect a writer who doesn’t takes responsibility for the quality of his own works?? How do people respect someone who puts in little thoughts and efforts in his writing, yet gets childishly resentful and buttburt of criticism?? 

The things he complained about like “but it’s not popular, “but Kakashi is too popular”, “but there’s no time” are problems faced by all mangaka. He’s not the only one who has to fight his editors over decisions that the editors deem unpopular within the fandom. How the fuck others manage to keep the quality consistent while his series declined dramatically? because he gave up. It’s funny how everything Kishi wrote in Naruto are the things he lacked and didn’t get in reality. Naruto wants to be loved by everyone, yet he’s the most hated MC. Naruto wants to be seen as someone who never gives up, yet Kishi is someone who loses his fight easily.

sanabakkosh  asked:

Bellarke + ‘there’s a snowstorm so all flights got cancelled and we both got to the airport’s hotel desk at the same time but since they only had one room left (and you don't seem to be a serial killer) we decided to share but now we have to figure out sleeping arrangements in a tiny couch-less hotel room with only one queen bed, and whoops also the shower doors are completely transparent’ au <3

Title: Christmas Coincidence 

A/N: WOW DID I EVER LOVE THIS PROMPT! I got really deep into it, and even though this is incredibly cheesy and kind of rushed, I loved it a lot. I’m actually really proud of this? Anyway, I would like to dedicate this to @marauders-groupie because I like to toast new friendships. Also she’s just amazing in every way and I love her okay? I really hope you guys enjoy this!


“Un-fucking-believable,” Clarke sighed, exasperated as she slid back down into the uncomfortable plastic seat she’d been sitting in the past three hours, waiting on her delayed flight. Only to find out that, due to severe weather, all flights to Ark Virginia were cancelled.

After stewing in her frustration for a solid minute or two, she dialed her mother’s cell, to deliver the bad news.

“My flight got cancelled, so I probably won’t make it out until Christmas eve. Let Raven and Wells know I won’t make it to the bash. Call me when you get this.”

She begrudgingly marched her way up to the front desk, dragging her many bags behind her. She didn’t want to have to sleep at the shitty airport hotel, but she had made the four hour drive three towns over to the airport, so going home wasn’t really an option.

There was one other person who appeared to be in the same predicament as she was, A brunette guy, who appeared to be around her age and the same level of pissed, only taller and tanner.

“I need to get a room,” the pair of them said, completely synchronized before turning to look at each other.

“You two and everybody else in this airport,” the grumpy, middle aged woman behind the counter mumbled, giving a roll of her eyes. Clarke could tell, that just like herself, the woman did not take any kind of joy in spending anymore time in this cramped terminal. “I hope you didn’t have your hearts set on the honeymoon suit, because we got one room left and it’s a single queen bed.”

Clarke looked over at the stranger, who was now running a hand through his mess of curls. This was about to get interesting.

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anonymous asked:

do you own any really "weird" lipstick shades?

In short: yes. 

In long: here they are.

NB: I have put everything under a Read More (I still resolutely refuse to call it a Keep Reading) but just in case mobile is still being an absolute arse about putting stuff under those, then I apologise in advance, and do feel free to blacklist the tag ‘anwen’s glorious lipstick collection’ in future.

Also, I promise I am not turning into a cosmetics blog. Mythology will resume as normal from hereon in.

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Fanart Monday!!

Yaya, I received a lot of fanarts <3 thanks a lot, guys!! I think I will use mondays to post them, cuz Mondays are awful and these lovely fanarts just sweeten up my day <3

Really, they are a lot, so I will put a cut in here so I don’t spam your dash xD

but just click “read more” to see pure art!! <3

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