shitty is shitty

based on this post where lardo and shitty are accidentally pregnant

She was five weeks in, nothing was showing, but she’d been puking almost everyday and had refused Bitty’s pumpkin pie the other day. Lardo hasn’t told her mom yet, and Shitty refuses to tell anything to his father but she knows that his mother knew about it. Jack had called her immediately after Shitty freaked and told him a week ago, before freaking out himself telling Bitty, who had broken into their apartment in order to make sure she was okay.

“I’m okay, people should stop asking me if I was okay, I’m pregnant, not sick.” She complained to Jack, who only answered by giving a silent nod. 

“Shitty’s freaking out,” Jack said instead. 

“I know.” She groaned and put her face in her hands. A moment of silence passed between the two before she lifted her head again. “I don’t want to chain him down like this or jerk him around emotionally. I know he wants me to keep it.” 

“He wants whatever you want,” Jack said.

She knew that, but she could also read Shitty enough to know that he was ecstatic and wanted nothing more than to have her keep it. And the scary thing was, she could also feel herself being as excited as he is. 

“How are the two of us even remotely qualified to be parents? He’s just starting his job, and I have my job.” And Lardo wasn’t sure that one, her bosses would let her take a maternity leave, and two, that she was even on the life track that she had envisioned for herself with this job. Sports management paid a lot, and Lardo knew she was on the fast track to promotion, but now that this forced her to look at her life she wasn’t sure she wanted to spend it all picking up after athletes. But she wasn’t sure that she can provide proper care if she didn’t have the high paying job in her position. And it was a downward spiraling mess of disaster. 

It was as if Jack could read her mind, or at least the mood in her mind, because he puts a hand on her shoulder and leaned back on the sofa that they were sitting at. 

“Maybe you’re thinking too much,” he said. “Just concentrate on whether or not you want to keep it, and trust in your friends to help you no matter which choice it is. We’re a team.” 

She sniffed, and suddenly Jack found himself with an armful of Lardo. The two of them extricated themselves from their situation as soon as Lardo stopped wiping tears and snot off of Jack’s sweater. Jack extended a fist, and Lardo bumped it.

“Got your back,” they said together.

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OMGCP Beauty and the Beast AU-

Okay so here is what I got done last night and I tried to edit it as best I can! This is the first chapter so there will be more comin.

ANYWAY I hope you enjoy and there is more coming, this is just what I managed to write until I got exhausted and went to bed (I’m lame I know)

So like disclaimer: three PAST character deaths. I also changed up the prologue a little to fit the story. I’m taking a light spin on it, not too many drastic changes (if you count the reason Jack was turned into a beast a drastic change idk)

Here is the ao3 link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10454391/chapters/23078457

*******

Once upon a time in a faraway land, a prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish and unkind.

“Yo, Jack-O!” Bartholomew Knight, strides up to his best friend, admiring the party in front of them. “Wicked party man.”

Jack clears his throat as a few people from his court glance over with judgmental expressions.

“Right. Prince Jack-O.” His best friend bristles a little, slightly annoyed by Jack’s dismissive behavior.

“Where did Kent go?” Jack can’t help but ask, because his other closest friend was nowhere to be seen upon the lively dancing of the party. Usually he’s in the middle of it all.

“Don’t know, Brah. Probably fucked off somewhere–”

Jack shoots him another glare for the language, causing ‘Shitty’ (he liked to call himself just to get on Jack’s nerves) to sigh dramatically.

“Can you be a little less vulgar?” Jack practically bites the words out, sounding extremely unkind. “Why are you with me anyway? Usually you’re following Larissa around right about now.”

“Never mind. Thought you’d want my company, but I guess I’m an embarrassment. Now I know why Kenny dearest isn’t around. I wouldn’t be surprised if he left the palace again.”

The words struck a chord, and Jack watched helplessly as his friend left his side.

But then, one winter’s night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold.

“Hey yo, your highness?” Adam Birkholz, one of the guards approached him with his other pair in tow, Justin Oluransi. 

“–there’s someone at the door. She’s kinda sketch, but we don’t want to turn away a guest.” Justin says.

“I don’t remember inviting any outsiders.” Jack grunts, but he still follows them and weaves himself through the party. Once the three get to the door, a crouched figure with horrible posture shakes from the cold in a dark cloak covering most of their body. He feels the slightest bit of sympathy, but ever since his parents were assassinated, he trusted absolutely no one, and probably never will again.

“Who are you?” Jack demands, placing himself safely behind his two guards.

An old and scratchy voice responds. “Georgia Martin, no one special. I’m just looking for shelter from the cold. It’s quite a storm out there.”

When Jack doesn’t respond, she clears her throat and reaches down to pull something out of her cloak. Jack stumbles back in fear, and his two guards immediately block him from view.

“Relax, Jack Zimmermann,” –she can’t just address me informally like that– “It is only a rose. A peace offering and a gift, in exchange for your hospitality.”

Repulsed by her haggard and sketchy appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances. For beauty is found within, and not every unfamiliar mundane is evil.

“No way am I letting you stay here.” Jack snarls at the woman, setting himself in front of his guards in a fit of anger. “A stranger can’t just waltz in here. This is a palace, not an inn.”

“I will not harm you.” She reassures him. “You have my word. Give me a chance?”

“Only fools allow complete strangers into their home.” Jack says sternly, still a little bit shaken.

“Like your parents?”

His blood runs cold and his hands begin to shake in the beginnings of a panic attack. “Get out.” He snaps, and his tone holds heavy malice that was sharp enough to cut anyone.

And when he dismissed her again, the old woman’s ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late. For she had seen there was no trust or kindness in his heart.

“Wrong answer, Prince Zimmermann.” Her appearance quickly changes in a flurry of gold light, changing her appearance faster than Jack can process. The gold dissipates, revealing a kind and beautiful face that couldn’t possibly be ‘mundane’. Jack suddenly feels the cold twinge of regret as the woman gives him a soft smile. A smile that reminded him a little of his mother, and he felt his heart constrict in sadness.

“Whoa– what the hell are you?” Adam mutters with a look of blatant surprise, while Justin’s mouth is glued shut in silent terror.

Then Jack feels something warm begin to flood over his body, which he assumes is the feeling of magic. There’s no other explanation.

“Stop it.” Jack glances behind him at his frenzied party guests trying to escape. “I’m sorry. You can stay one night. Just stop whatever you’re doing–”

Those were the last words Jack spoke before he felt his body change, causing slight pain deep in his bones. The heartbreaking shouts from his guests and his closest friends fill his ears, which was the most painful of all.

“Jack!” He hears Kent’s voice sound in the background noise, horrified and frightened. “Goddammit, what have you done?”

And his punishment: she transformed him into a hideous beast and placed a powerful curse on the castle and all who lived there.

Like a snap of someone’s finger, everything went silent as objects clattered to the floor and his body burned with a raw sensation.

He glanced in a nearby mirror and reeled backward from what he saw. That woman– that witch– had turned him into some kind of monster.

Ashamed of his monstrous form, he concealed himself inside his castle with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose. Which would bloom until his twenty-first year if he could learn to love and trust another and earn their love and trust in return.

“Until you can learn to fully love another and trust them with your love, you will stay like this.” The enchantress’s voice rang loud and clear, and quite frankly terrifying in the sudden, eerie silence.

And when the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years past, he fell into despair and lost all hope.

“This is for your own good, Jack.”

For who could ever learn to love a beast.

******

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Poetry Past Midnight

This is what my brain was making when it was supposed to fall asleep: shitty red poetry.

A man must choose
between the two
To join the Blues
(which you shan’t do)
 or see the light
(which we shall spread)
and find the truth:
The color Red 

I see it clear
as bright as day
It’s why I’m here
and why I’ll stay.
It is my fight
and I won’t lose
Prepare yourselves,
you dirty Blues

anonymous asked:

ngl i wasn't sure about the mon-el hate but like??? not only does he abandon his lover to die, he consistently disrespects his CURRENT gf (kara) and lies??? why is she the bad guy? didn't he literally own slaves??? how are people okay with this man???

i’ll give u three guesses, tho i’m sure u’ll only need one