shitty hood

I’m debuting my new blog with a headcanon

  • look ok the Waynes don’t go to normal banks
  • what are they, poor?
  • but Jason does because he doesn’t have access to their money
  • I mean he is fucking dead
  • and fuck if he’s letting them give him any money
  • so Jason is in line at the bank
  • he looks like a normal guy, if a bit muscular
  • he goes by the name Todd Peters
  • bc he has a sense of humor gdi
  • and some guys in masks run in and shoot at the ceiling
  • they order everybody around
  • and the civilians “cower”
    • none of them are actually all that scared
    • they’re used to this ok
    • they deal with Scarecrow every other week ok they’re fine
    • they just figure this is easier than making a fuss
    • Jason’s pretty sure there’s only one bullet in that gun anyway
  • they start demanding the money
  • and Jason can’t just leave this bc he’s here
  • he might as well deal with it
  • so he stands and brings attention to himself
  • “hey!” he yells
  • they turn to him
  • and he just
  • he just fucking decks the closest one in the face
  • it’s a surprise bc nobody usually tries
  • he’s outnumbers like five to one
  • but he ducks their attacks and kicks their feet out from under them
  • and punches them all and basically just leaves them all black and blue
  • he ties them all up when he’s finished
    • bc of course he has fucking rope with him
    • why wouldn’t he
    • that’s a normal thing to have
    • (no it isn’t Jason what the fuck)
  • he couldn’t help but notice that as this was all happening
  • the civilians just quietly started making their withdrawals
  • the people at the desks thank him when they realized he was done
  • one person calls the cops
  • and then Jason realizes that there’s a camera in the bank
  • and he just makes his withdrawal and fucking books it
  • no doubt the bats will be seeing this footage soon
  • and he’s not about to deal with the police
  • he hides in a safehouse for a while in hopes that they don’t call
    • they do
    • bruce thanks him for leaving them alive
    • he doesn’t respond
Sharing the Crib (Dad!Ash)

a/n: this is probably gonna be really shitty and cliche but I was inspired by this picture look how cute

You shook the snow from your shoes and clothes as you stepped through the front door, instantly relaxing at the warmth radiating all throughout the house. It had been a tough and long day at work and you were looking forward to coming home to your husband and child. 

You were still on maternity leave, but the office really needed you to go in today so you put all of your faith and trust into Ashton that he could handle the newborn on his own.

“Ash? I’m home.” You could hear the sound of cartoons coming through the TV but not the usual babbling coming from your daughter or Ash’s adorable baby voice when he speaks to her. When you walk into the living room, you spot an all black figure curled up in your daughter’s crib. When you get closer, you realize it’s Ashton, sleeping soundly. Your baby girl was wide awake however, looking at her dad’s tattoos on his wrists and pulling at his hair. 

“Hey angel, did you have fun with daddy today? Looks like you wore him out.” You picked up your daughter from the crib and went into the kitchen to fix her a bottle. 

“Ow fuck!” Moments later, you hear a noise come from the living room, like something- or someone- had fallen. You walk in to see Ash laying on the floor and the crib turned onto its side, your daughter giggling at the sight. 

“You know those things are made for babies, not a 6 foot man child.”

“I couldn’t help it, she was just so cute, I wanted to be as close to her as possible.” Ash took her from your arms and started putting her high up in the air, just like she liked. You were so content in that moment, knowing you finally had your own little family. 

According to Page Ruth on Periscope Arzaylea:

Did not pay rent whilst living with her.

Did cheat on Luke.

The rest of the 5sos boys do not like her.

Stole that razor blade necklace from her.

Stole a phone from her.

Yelled at her for casually talking to Luke.

Slammed a car door in Page’s face.

Crashed Page’s car and totaled it.

Hasn’t seen much of her family in months.

Never listened to Page and always put herself and her problems first.

Her and Luke did not meet at Kylie Jenner’s birthday party, just an ordinary house party. (This has already been proven though as 5sos were on tour at that time!)

9

“There’s definitely going to be a time where we take a break, go out into the wilderness and live normal lives. I’d definitely want to be a barista or something for six months. Just to see. My first job was being in the band, so I’ve never experienced what my parents went through to get me here.” - Calum Hood

anonymous asked:

If you're still doing the writing prompts, 13 and cal xx

“You taste like heaven.”
Anon request but I also remembered @maorikingcth wanting something about riding Calum’s face? idk, you ask and I try to provide. THIS IS SMUT.
Have a request? Leave it here

The harsh clench of your fingers. 

A gasp parting your lips. 

Muscles in your thighs quivering.

It’s taking everything you have to remain upright. Really, though, if the way you’re hunched over can even be considered upright. Your fingers are searching for some kind of purchase; one hand tightly grips the arm of the couch, the other slides into the thick mass of curls of the boy below you and tugs. 

Calum groans from where he lays between your parted thighs, always one for a bit of pain with his pleasure. He’s got his arms snaked around your upper thighs, holding you exactly where he wants you just above his face. 

His fingers spread the puffy lips of your pussy, opening you up for his tongue to lavish through your wet folds. He licks thick, fat swipes through you; fingers tugging deliciously at your lower lips. Calum’s nose nudges against the hard nub of your clit, sending sparks of pleasure rocketing up your belly. 

You’ve still got a hand threaded through his thick, black hair. You’re tugging at the roots of it, so desperate for him to be closer. Oh God, you want him closer. You want him to devour you. 

He hums against the slick of you, tongue moving north to swipe over the bundle of nerves there before his beautiful, plump lips suction around it. Calum’s grip around your thighs tighten when you give a little jump, his blunt nails biting into the sensitive skin on the inside of your thighs. He just pulls you farther down so you’re fully seated on his face, lips still pillowed around your clit as he sucks at it. 

All the breath in your lungs leaves, lips parted to release the shuddered gasp. Calum skims his teeth over the incredibly sensitive nerves, tongue following behind so you can feel the contrast in texture. Your toes curl when he goes back to suckling at it; pulling his head back and taking it with him for emphasis, before releasing it with a ‘pop’.

Calum’s lips are so swollen as he lays kisses over the sensitive heat of you, “Love when you’re above me. ‘s the best view.” His lips move, teeth nipping at the inside of your thighs, “You look like an angel.” He peeks at you through his lashes, tongue suddenly dipping into your dripping pussy, “And you taste like heaven.”

Any and all words die on your tongue when his fingers join in. Calum’s mouth suctions over the entirety of you, the wet muscle housed inside laps at the wetness of your pussy. He’s pulling back to blow a stream of cool air over your heat, goosebumps raising over your skin. 

The curl of your toes is painful, your body locking when his tongue dips back inside you and the fingers of one hand join in to rock your clit in rough, determined circles. “Oh!” 

You can feel the curl of his lips, tongue still fucking in and out. Your thighs are shaking from the combined feeling of his mouth and fingers–that desperate, coil in your stomach is threatening to unravel. Calum’s other arm unwinds from your thigh, hand moving up to rest on your hip. You don’t notice the change until, oh, he’s working you into a rocking rhythm against his tongue. 

Calum pulls his tongue and flattens it, hand moving your hips against the wide, flat plane of it so he can reach every single part of his favorite place. His calloused fingers still work at you, dipping down to gather up your wetness on the tips to let him work your clit a little more easier, a little more faster. 

Your head drops back to hang between your shoulders, stomach clenching. The grip you’ve got in his curls tightens and in response, Calum pressed his tongue a little more harshly against you. He’s got you there, he knows it. 

“I’m cumming, I’m cumming, I’m–” Your chant, your mantra, your warning, cuts off as that coil in your tummy doesn’t just unravel. It explodes. You’re left shaking, pussy walls fluttering around Calum’s tongue as he dips it back in to collect everything you’re giving.  

Your body is completely jelly, little sparks still working up your spine. Calum slides up between you and the arm rest, face shiny and looking entirely too smug when you slump against him. You don’t even have the energy to shoot him a witty comment. Fuck, he was that good.