shitty commercial

All I want is a bioshock sitcom.

Like take a minute to imagine all the petty drama that went on in Rapture. Julie Langford was almost shot over some bees, Anna Culpepper, Sander Cohen, and to an extent Grace Holloway verbally bitch-slapped each other in their music all the time, Frank Fontaine gets it on with Brigid Tenenbaum, his employee and the person who discovered the key to Rapture’s downfall.

Just fucking look at Jack! Andrew Ryan’s son he had cheating on his GF with a stripper, who sold the embryo to the ruthless employees of Ryan’s most hated business competition who then dies and comes back with a secret identity.

I mean come on it’s all sitcom worthy if not telenovela.

I feel like Shiggy’s blog is like opening a textbook in the middle of a shitty sit-com’s commercial break and it’s like “oh I’m learning things” oh it’s time for your regularly scheduled SHITPOSTING.
Dallas Stars Drinking Game

take a drink every time…

  • Roussel gets a penalty 
  • we fail to score on a power play
  • Jamie Benn looks disappointed in both you and himself
  • your mind wanders to Tyler Seguin
  • you have the urge to shout “DEFENSE!”
  • you have the urge to shout “COME ON DADDY”
  • we lose the puck after 3 seconds
  • you see that shitty enterprise commercial thats like “We get hockey fans” and then just like. mentions random hockey things
  • the national commentators ride the other team’s dick
  • you start crying, but you can’t tell if its from the playing or the excessive amounts of alcohol, even though its only the first period 
  • you give up and start to root for the other team 
There’s this one moment in Tom Goes to the Mayor, where, in the mayor’s office, there’s this extension cord that’s taped to the wall, going into the other room. That’s the core of what we think is funny: just the shittiness of life. Shitty products and shitty commercials and how people are shitty to each other.
—  Eric Wareheim on the Tim and Eric sensibility.

Jingle All The Way might be a movie about the very worst aspects of Christmas – rampant commercialism, shitty parades, Phil Hartman trying like hell to have sex with your wife – but, at its core, it’s a story about the importance of being a good parent to your child. Which makes it doubly a shame that at least one parent-child relationship in the movie is destined to end in tragedy, because Sinbad’s life is fucked.

5 Christmas Movies You Never Realized Had Insane Messages