Okay but like 80% of US families (or something like that) have more than one kid. So why don’t I ever hear enough about these elusive and wonderful relatives of the smh team?

tell me about Shitty Knight’s 3 older sisters who take turns braiding his hair when they’re together for holidays

Tell me about Nursey’s little brother who climbs around on him and Dex like they’re jungle gyms

Tell me about Ransom’s adopted sister who makes him sing to her when he babysits (even though he’s pitchy af she still loves him)

Tell me about Dex’s like 8 siblings and how they’re basically a real life Weasley family which is ironic cause none of them have read Harry Potter

Tell me about Lardo’s twin brother who’s top of his class in cosmetology school

anyways these chars. are NOT all only children, and I demand more info on their siblings. thank you.


makoto pls

forgive me for using ms paint, based on this text post

Shitty (staying over at Jack’s): wow you sure have obtained a lot of booty shorts that aren’t your size over the summer.

Shitty: holy shit why do you have 50 lbs of flour in your cabinet????

Shitty: Where is that flannel I got you? I think I saw Bitty wearing one like it in his last snapchat.

Shitty: Why the fuck do you have two toothbrushes??? and you dont use this brand of shampoo.

Shitty: Jack I’m practically a lawyer and something is up.
Something heterostraight is up.

the morning after an epikegster

shitty, gesturing to a broken keg: so… who broke it? i’m not mad, i just want to know.

jack and bitty, simultaneously: i did –

shitty: no, you didn’t. holster?

holster: don’t look at me! look at ransom.

ransom: what? i didn’t break it!

holster: huh. that’s weird. how’d you even know it was broken?

ransom: because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

holster: suspicious.

nursey: if it matters - and it probably doesn’t – dex was the last one to use it.

dex: liar! i don’t even drink that crap.

bitty: okay, let’s not fight –

jack: let me pay for it, shitty.

shitty: no. who broke it?

holster: lardo’s been awfully quiet…

lardo: really?

*everyone starts fighting*

shitty, looking directly at the camera: it was me. i broke it.