shits getting violent

films to watch

so i saw a post listing films in foreign languages and i thought i could expand on the list a little bit but my addition got so massive i decided to move it to a separate post. this list will focus on my target languages and feature a little bit of french as well just to spice it up. 

films are good for several reasons

  • usually quite fun
  • actually challenging if u watch w/o subtitles and the easiest way to achieve immersion in the privacy of your home
  • “productive procrastination”
  • might give u cultural insight as well
  • or encourage you to learn some history!!!!
  • i’m really tired of people watching almodóvar and being like uuuuuuhuuuu look the great spanish director and forgetting that not only are there spanish films not directed by almodóvar but also that spanish is spoken in other countries as well and GUESS WHAT they produce culture

ok here we go!!!!! im really lazy and my computer is agonizingly slow so i can provide no links. if something interests you search for it et voila

WARNING!!!!! long post 


  • magia salvaje - this is an uber cool colombian film showing largely unexplored areas of colombia which i think is the most beautiful country on earth. it was recommended to me independently by a friend from my spanish class and my colombian pen pal gal. from its website: “magia salvaje es la cinta del mundo natural más ambiciosa realizada en el país (…) [realizada en] 85 locaciones y 20 ecosistemas. (…) un tributo a la belleza de colombia“ tl;dr: cool shit u should watch, it’s available on yt
  • señor ávila - a p good series filmed by the mexican hbo starring tony dalton as an exemplary father and husband that starts working as a paid killer for the mafia, but it’s not all peachy because it affects his personal life and his son gets into some really deep shit. gets a bit grim at times but good nevertheless
  • retrato de un comportamiento animal - really cute indie film made in uruguay. an unlikely couple on a trip to brazil. expect nice landscapes and voseo
  • relatos salvajes - dark humour from argentina, a series of episodes in which people go absolutely bonkers over the most petty shit and also get p violent when you wouldn’t expect them to be. produced by pedro almodóvar if that serves as any recommendation.
  • la historia oficial - another one from argentina. drama. set during the dictatorship and based on true events, follows a family through a period when they would literally tear lil kids from their mothers and drown the parents if they were enemies of the state. watch it
  • juana la loca - spanish historical drama about their queen joan the mad
  • el laberinto del fauno - can we just, omg, ok, i love that film so much. fantasy, set during the civil war in spain. a little girl discovers this world with monsters and other creatures and it’s scary as shit but she goes through these adventures because she cares for her family. watch itttt
  • doce hombres sin piedad - this is the spanish version of the american classic 12 angry men, recorded in 1973. you can watch it on youtube.
  • gran hotel - spanish tv series, historical drama sort of downton abbey style. weird shit is happening in this lovely hotel, what do we do??? apparently available on netflix
  • como agua para chocolate - cute film “about how life used to be in mexico” (imdb) based on the p famous novel by laura esquivel. lovely colours, romantic love and a lot of nice food
  • los diarios de motocicleta - starring gael garcía bernal in an adaptation of che guevara’s memoir in which young che travels the world on his motorbike
  • no - ok this is some amazing shit (oscar nomination holaaaa). it’s a chilean film with gael garcía bernal set in the 1980s. in 1988 pinochet held a referendum in which basically if u said “yes” he stayed as te country’s official and lawful leader and if you said “no”, well, he went. the film is about the campaign that sought to get rid of him
  • talento de barrio - sorry but i couldn’t omit that one. it has daddy yankee in it, period.


  • la dolce vita - please do yourself a favour and watch it
  • la grande bellezza - as above. this is my favourite film of all time. look for the soundtrack on yt and you will know why
  • il bidone - early fellini follows petty thieves in rome
  • il prefetto di ferro - set in the 1920s. giuliano gemma as cesare mori aka the iron prefect who comes to palermo to deal with the gangs. good shit
  • ladri di biciclette - directed by vittorio de sica, set in post-ww2 rome, “a masterpiece of italian neorealism” (wiki). a desperate family needs their bicycle to survive
  • amarcord - comedy/drama, set in the 1930s. coming-of-age. “Fellini skewers Mussolini’s ludicrous posturings … that <<imprisoned Italians in a perpetual adolescence>> by mockig himself and his fellow villagers in comic scenes tha underline their incapacity to adopt genuine moral responsibility or outgrow foolish sexual fantasies” (wiki). won oscar for foreign language.
  • gomorra - tv series based on famed novel by roberto saviano. rival mob clans. good shit
  • il vangelo secondo matteo - “trattando in maniera antidogmatica un argomento di carattere religioso, l’opera fece sensazione e scatenò un aspro confronto intelettuale sulla stampa, proseguendo le non sopite polemiche per le accuse di vilipendio della religione” (wiki). three oscar nominations.
  • una vita violenta - poor kid in rome attempts to transform his life after leaving prison
  • la notte - marcello mastroianni in a study of a deteriorating relationship
  • la nostra terra - cute film which is literally my aesthetic aka people working the land. educated guy from bologna comes down south to start a community and sell organic veg he will grow himself. featuring creepy mafia guy freshly released from prison and sneaky southerners
  • la mafia uccide solo d’estate - drama but also a comedy fresh from palermo. lil boy observes how the mob influences people’s lives
  • il capitale umano - drama. a car accident ties together the lives of two families. people go crazy. great performance by valeria bruni tedeschi
  • il rosso e il blu - follows the lives of three school teachers as they get really involved in the fucked up lives of their students. confusing but oddly satisfying
  • latin lover - fun comedy of how a famed actor dies leaving behind a shitload of lovers, wives and children who all meet for his funeral.


  • trash - an AMAZING brazilian film about two favela boys trying to solve a criminal mystery and unearth corruption before an ill-willed police officer gets to them; all thanks to a wallet found in the dumpster they work in. really good cinema with appearances made by rooney mara and martin sheen
  • singularidades de uma rapariga loura - modern portuguese film based on a short stories by eça de queirós. a blooming romance meets an unexpected obstacle. spot on aesthetic and cleverly blended cultural references. directed by manoel de oliveira who is THE MAN, check out his ther shit such as the p recent o convento starring john malkovich and catherine deneuve
  • saneamento básico - p straightforward but fun brazilian comedy in which a small town community will do anything to raise money to fix their sewer system
  • this is embarrassingly short i will make a separate post to expand 


  • farinelli - an AMAZING film based very loosely on the life of the most famous castrato singer, farinelli. loooveeeee
  • la religieuse (2013) - a really stuningly made adaptation of denis diderot’s novel about a girl thrown into a convent against her will and desperate to get out who discovers some dark family secrets.
  • tom à la ferme - weird indie canadian film with xavier dolan, a gay man travelling to meet his dead boyfriend’s family and terrorised by said’s boyfriend’s horrible brother. more dark family shit for u
  • yves saint laurent - nice biographical film with pierre niney
  • dans la maison - terrifying and fascinating drama about how one seductive teenager ruins some families. 10/10 would recommend
  • les choristes - really good film about how a music teacher transforms the lives of a class of “difficult” boys. set in the 1940s to spice it up
  • les liaisons dangereuses (1959) - adaptation of laclos’ classic novel, set in the present day. directed by roger vadim.

that’s it - I hope at least one person finds it interesting/helpful!!!

i once promised a crash course in polish thing and i know i’m delaying it horribly but sometime next week i will prepare a similar post about polish films (if u folks are interested, ofc)

Me reading about the “BLM kidnapping“

oh damn that fuckin’ sucks what the hell who would do such a thing. No one deserves that kind of–

*I learn the white kid was a trump supporter*


Good Girl Ch 29: Birthday Pt 4

“You liars!” I yell as I collapse on to the fake grass, my chest is heaving as I try my best to breath without hyperventilating. I’ve never run so much in my life. Xiumin comes over to me with a bottle of water in his hand that I happily accept, he drinks his own while Luhan joins us. “You guys are so mean to me,” I pout.

“We went easy on you,” Luhan tells me for the hundredth time. “You should see how it is when all of us are playing, things get kind of crazy.”

“Kind of?” Xiu scoffs, “That shit gets straight up violent.”

“I will be a cheerleader when that is going on,” I shake the horrifying thought out of my head of what they would be like.

“I’m sorry if we were too aggressive,” the oldest kisses my cheek. “Next time we will make sure you are more prepared for something like this,” I flush at the sexual thoughts running threw my head.

“Did I interrupt something?” Suho chuckles as he walks across the field to us.

I hold my arms up to him like a child wanting to be picked up, “Daddy Suho these two are being mean.” He happily picks me up princess style.

“You guys went too hard on her didn’t you?” Suho gives them a glare. “I told you to be careful with her.”

Luhan sticks his tongue out at the younger, “What are you going to do about it?”

Suho gives him a smug smirk, “I’ll tell Lay.” The two men obviously tense, “You heard him earlier about his itch to fight lately with the news of our baby’s family situation. I don’t think he’d be happy to hear that you guys have been too rough with her.”

They pout, “We’re sorry.”

“It’s unfair for anyone to place against you two.”

I nod in agreement, “They have some weird connection, like they know what the other is thinking. They have their little hand signals and looks.”

“That’s impressive, that’s why you were catching on at the end, no one can ever really figure out what we are doing but you did a pretty good job baby,” Luhan compliments me.

“We are heading out, see you at dinner,” Suho waves to his brother before carrying me out like the gentleman that he is. When we reach the top of the stairs I try to get down but he doesn’t let me, “You look tired, we’re just going a few floors up.” I sigh but don’t fight. He goes to the elevator and steps inside.

“Is it a stupid question to ask if you own this building?” I ask after a moment of silence.

He chuckles, “Kind of.”

I sigh, “You guys are so freaking rich it’s starting to get ridiculous.”

“You looked like you were having fun.”

“Yea, it’s been awhile since I felt so free.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m always at school or at home, as big and amazing as your house is, it’s just been awhile since I’ve been able to go and run.”

“It’s your house too you know.”

“Our house,” I correct.

The doors open to another smaller lobby where a beautiful woman is sitting behind the front desk with a flirty gaze fixed on Suho. This bitch. I glare at her before snuggling closer into Suho’s embrace. She stands up and bows politely.

“Hello Mr. Kim, it’s rare to see you here.” She greets with a fake smile.

“I’m treating my girlfriend for her birthday,” Suho explains, completely uncaring about the obvious fuck me vibe the lady is putting out. I’ve never been so satisfied hearing that word.

Her smile falters before opening the glass door to let us threw. Another woman is there to greet us, she holds out a bathrobe for each of us before leaving us in a changing room. Suho helps me peel off my sweaty clothes, leaving me in nothing but the robe before taking off his own clothes. We step into room where a big bath is waiting for us. It’s like strait out of the movies, there are candles, rose petals, bubbles, and two glasses of champagne, I raise a brow at him.

“It’s a bit cheesy I know.”

“It’s romantic,” I correct. We climb into the hot water, we get into our normal position with me in between his legs, and my back resting on his chest. He hesitantly hands me a glass after a few minutes of me whining.

“I hear you’ve had a few run-ins with some of Jiyong’s guys today.”

I nod, staring at the tan tiled wall, “Yea, it was no big deal, I didn’t even get to open the card Seunghyun-ssi gave me.”

“Kris wanted to test it for poison before we gave it to you.”


He sighs, “It’s clean.”

“Seunghyun wouldn’t kill me.”

“What makes you so sure?”

I take his hand and lace our fingers together, “Kris said it himself, Seunghyun is incredibly loyal to oppa. And not to sound too cocky but I feel like I’m important to Jiyong.”

He hums in agreement.

“Are my friends you guys’ foot soldiers?” I ask bravely.

He doesn’t say anything for a minute before asking, “How did you learn about that?”

“I over hear conversations daddy, I know a lot more things than I should.”

“Yes they are.”

“What is it like to be a foot soldier?”

“Why are you so curious?”

I sigh, “Because you guys know so much about me, I barely know anything about your past, I just want to know what you were like before you became the headmaster of a school and mafia boss.”

He chuckles at that, “I wasn’t the best soldier as you can imagine.”

“I don’t trust the image I have of you, I didn’t think Lay could be scary yet everyone seems to be afraid of him.”

“Lay is one scary bastard if you get on the wrong side of him, if there is one thing I don’t want you to see is him upset. Though there is a good chance you’d be the reason, so please be safe.” We both laugh, “He has been really upset the last few days after we talked about your family. We all have been but you know him and his worries.”

I just nod.

“You should have told us.”

“I don’t like to talk about them. They aren’t that bad of people they just didn’t like me.”

“You know we love you right?” He wraps his arms around me and hugs me close.

“I know, I love you too.”


“I kind of want to jump in,” Baekhyun sighs sitting down on the tub ledge, he dips a pretty finger into the still hot water.

“I don’t think Chanyeol would appreciate you doing it without him, I haven’t thought about what it would be like with you and Suho but no match seems like a bad idea, I guess,” I can’t help but tease the older boy. He realizes what I’m talking about and blushes.

“Who told you about that?” He glares at the older.

“It was the two oldest so good luck getting back at them.”

He huffs, “Great, now lets go and get you ready for dinner.” He grabs a towel and holds it up to wrap around me after I get up. Suho stand up too, accepting the towel the younger offers.

“Are we leaving the building?” I ask, dreading the idea of having to put on clothes again to just change not even an hour later.

“No, we’re going a few rooms over for you to get your hair styled and get your makeup done for dinner.”

Once I’m dry he takes the towel back and helps me put the robe on before leading me out of the room into an empty hallway. We walk into a big room where there are lines of empty chairs, a pretty girl is waiting by one of them with a polite smile on her face. She bows to greet us, she gestures for me to sit in the chair and I obey while Baek sits in the one next to it.

“What would you like me to do with it?” She asks him.

“I think up would look especially beautiful. What do you think Baby?”

“You can pick.” He nods to the girl before she begins playing with my curls.

“How was you day today?” He asks.

“Really good, you guys are just too amazing,” I beam at him, making the puppy boy flush once again. He looks at his phone for a minute before jumping to his feet, “Is something wrong?”

He quickly shakes his head and gives me a small smile, “It’s work related, just give me one second.” I nod and he leaves the room. In the mirror I watch the girl’s lust full eyes follow him out. What is with the girls here checking out my daddies?

The girl and I sit in silence for a few minutes before she asks, “How long have you been dating Mr. Baekhyun?”

“A little over two months,” At least that’s my guess on when you could say we started dating.

“I was surprised when he requested for me to come in when they had shut down the whole spa, you are one lucky girl to have such a sweet boyfriend.”

I nod, “I’m very lucky.”

She is quiet for a minute before she adds, very bitterly, “There is a long list of girls who are dying to get even a second of his attention.”

“I don’t blame them, every second I have of his is amazing and filled with fun.”

“I guess so, you don’t seem to be getting very much of it.”

“I don’t need his attention every second of the day, I’m not that desperate,” Though to be honest I would prefer to have it right now.

“He’s probably giving it to some other girl right now.”

I get out of my seat to glare at her, the smug look in her eyes sets my blood on fire. I storm toward the door and rip it open to find Baekhyun holding the phone to his ear, his mouth set in a firm line.

“I’m sorry baby, just give me a few more minutes, this is really important,” He begs me. I sigh and nod before turning back and sitting down in the seat. She reaches for my hair but I slap her hands away.

“Thank you for your time but please leave me alone. I don’t like your attitude, so leave and I’ll just tell him you weren’t feeling well.”

She scoffs, “I’m getting paid good money to be here, I’m not going anywhere. Now stop being a spoiled brat and let me finish your hair.”

“No thank you, now please, if you don’t want to leave the building, I don’t give a fuck but I don’t like how you talk to me or how you stare at my oppa.” She glares at me but still leaves, huffing and mumbling under her breath. When she’s gone I take it upon myself to finish tying my now caramel colored waves above my head. There is makeup set out on the table but I decided to wait for Baekhyun to do that.

In the hall I can hear someone yelling, it’s Baekhyun yelling at his phone, in another minute he throws it against the door. I debate on going out to see if he’s okay or giving him a minute to calm down but the door opens to reveal a very tired looking Baekhyun. He sits down in the same chair, he scans the room before frowning, “Where did the girl go?”

“She wasn’t feeling well,” I lie.

“At least she had time to finish your hair.”

I nod, “Is everything okay?”

He sighs, “It’s just some tension between some lower guys and they were getting aggressive. It’s just a mess.”

“I’m sorry.”

With a deep breath he shakes off his gangster side, becoming my playful Baekhyun, “I’m the one who should be sorry for leaving you alone. It’s makeup time!” He beams at me as he drags his chair closer to work on my makeup. I watch him grab a few things before leaning forward and closing my eyes to let him work. When I don’t feel anything touching my face I open my eyes to question him but realize he’s just staring at me. “You’re just so beautiful, you don’t need makeup.”

I scoff at his cheesiness, “Daddy, stop with your silliness.”

“No baby, I just want you no that you are the most important thing in my life. I feel like an asshole for leaving you, even if it was only for a few minutes, a few minutes is all I usually get with you.” My heart sinks at his words, “I don’t want you to think I’m not happy to be here with you, I’m beyond happy. I love you more than you will ever know.”

I’m out of my chair and in his lap, hugging him tightly, “I love you too.” We sit there like that for what feels like a wonderful forever when he lets out a sigh.

“I need to do your makeup.”

“I forgot about dinner,” I say with a yawn.

He chuckles, brushing a stray curl out of my face he says, “Is my sweet baby tired already?”

I shake my head, “I’m ready!” He places me in my seat before grabbing the stuff needed to put my makeup on. Like always he does and amazing job with eyeliner, I expect nothing less from him. It usually doesn’t take him long but right now he is taking his time with me, touching my face more than necessary. Not that I mind one bit, it take all of myself control to not just jump his sweet bones right now.

When we are done there is a knock at the door, Kai steps in with my dress in hand. I must add that he is wearing the all black suit I told him to buy earlier, and like before, he looks absolutely amazing. He sends Baekhyun out telling him to get dressed.

“You look so handsome,” I beam at the tan man. But I almost scream at the sight of his new hair, bleach blond locks are pushed out of his face. “That is…” I struggle to find the right words without sounding weird.

He frowns, reminding me of my earlier meeting with Soo, “I thought you would like it.”

“I do, it’s really fucking hot, but I wanted to try and find better words to describe how handsome you look but saying that is so much simpler. You look really fucking hot.”

He chuckles, “Are you ready for your party baby?”

I nod eagerly, carelessly throw my robe off. He helps me into my dress and even gets down on one knee to help me with my shoes. Even in the five inch heels I’m still much smaller than him, which he finds adorable. I grab his hand and click my way out of the room and in the direction I came from when I first got into the building. Kai takes the lead when I get lost in the maze of halls, a teasing smirk on his lips. Not to my surprise we find the elevator and go up, of course they have a restaurant in here, how stupid of me to question it.

We step out of the elevator into the empty dark lobby. Kai doesn’t hesitate walking threw most of the restaurant to the far side where floor to ceiling windows give us a perfect view of the city below. There is a long table filled with not just my oppas but my friends as well, though Jihyo is missing, I understand their irritation with her. I grin big at the patiently waiting group of boys who return the smile at the sight of me.

“Noona!” Kookie, Jimin, and Tae come over and in a moment of excitement squeeze me between them.

“You guys,” Namjoon scolds as he pulls them away from me.

“It’s fine,” Kai sighs, “It’s her birthday so we are letting hugs pass for today.”

“Seriously?” The cute maknae smiles.

“Yes!” I run up and hug Namjoon tightly. “I feel like I haven’t seen you guys in forever.”

He chuckles patting my back, “It has been a while since you’ve been to school.”

“You’re going to be falling behind,” Hoseok teases as he hugs me,  “But that probably won’t be a problem when your headmaster is the one calling you in.”

“Oh shush,” I swat at him.

“Are they feeding you well?” Jin comes over to give me a once over like normal.

“They are feeding me way too much, I’ve gained some weight.”

“Much needed weight,” Lay reminds me.

I roll my eyes at them, “Where is Yoongi oppa?”

“I’m here, I was just letting everyone greet you first,” Yoongi sighs as he joins our group. “Happy birthday Joo-ya,” He wraps an arm around me and hugs me close.

“Thank you guys for coming.”

“I’m surprised we were invited,” Yoongi teases the men still standing around the table watching us intently.

“I am too.”

“You guys come sit down,” Suho says cheerfully but I can tell he just wants me a good distance away from them. He sits me down in between Kris and Kai, my friends are on the other side while the others are wrapped around the table.

“How has your birthday been? Is it much different from when you and Jihyo would go out?” Hoseok asks.

I nod, “It has been one of the best days of my life. I definitely feel a lot more spoiled than with Jihyo, I was lucky enough to have their undivided attention for a whole day.”

“Wow, most people are lucky to have it for a few minutes,” Namjoon teases.

I grimace at the thought of that bitch from earlier, “So I’ve been told.”

The subject is quickly changes and we all begin having individual conversations in smaller groups. I talk mostly with Kai or Kris or Yoongi who manage to get the spot across from me. Food is brought out a little later followed by a bottle of wine that the younger boys and I are were not allowed to partake in. The night flies by quickly, soon a massive white and gold cake with flowers and a cart full of presents behind it. After dozens of pictures, the happy birthday song, and a five-minute argument with Soo about how I should be able to cut my own birthday cake, I am allowed to cut the first few pieces before he takes over. Everyone happily takes a large piece and stuffs their face.

“Are all the presents really necessary?” I ask as the waiters clear the dessert plates.

“We wanted to spoil you,” Luhan smiles at me.

“You guys spoil me enough.”

“And we will continue to do so.”

“We also have a present for you,” Namjoon hands me a small jewelry box.

I shake my head and try to give it back, “You guys didn’t have to get me anything.”

He shoves it back into my hands, “We already bought it and it’s specially made for you so there is no bringing it back.”

I sigh and thank them, I open it and gasp at the sight of the perfect single diamond hanging alone on the gold chain. “It’s beautiful!”

“I feel like we already got showed up,” Kris whines.

“It’s a gift for you guys as well,” Namjoon hands Kris what looks like a cell phone. “Jihyo told us about Joo’s up coming weekend with Jiyong Hyungnim and decided this might come in handy, it has a tracker in it.” I stare down at the necklace in my hands.

“Wow, I’m surprised we didn’t think of that,” Kai takes the tracker from Kris to look at it.

“Me too,” I say honestly.

“The idea of us tracking you doesn’t weird you out at all?” Soo wonders.

I shake my head, “It’s probably one of the least weird things going on in the relationship.” I look at me friends with a big smile, “Thank you guys so much for the thoughtful gift.”

“You are welcome Jooyoung,” Jin pats me head before glancing at his watch. “We should probably get going,” Jin suggest as he stands up to bow. I stand up along with them and go around the table to hug them goodbye.

“Thank you for coming.”

“We will see you at school hopefully some day this week,” Tae hugs we tightly.

“Thursday is my best bet.” They laugh before heading to the elevator, when they are out of sight I return to my spot with Kris’s arm around my shoulders and Kai’s hand resting on my thigh. “So what now?” I yawn.

“I think it’s time for you to go to bed,” Kris strokes my hair.

“But what about…” I barely stop myself form yelling out birthday sex but they have already figured out what I’m talking about.

“I didn’t know you were so eager.”

Xiumin smirks at me, “Who did you have in mind?”

I blush and look down at my hands.

“Don’t be shy baby,” Kai hold my chin gently as he guides me up to look him in the eye. “Who would you like to spend the night with on your first birthday with us?”

All i want from life is to know how mandy patinkin reacted to finding out that the crew had finally enough of his bull and had gideon murdered and also how he reacted when he found out they kind of made light of it by having jj and garcia have an ice cream party almost smack bang on the blood pool

I don’t ask for much. 

But i want this. 

Family Ties

This was written for the @meflashfanwork August Theme: Family

Thank you @ellebeedarling for reading over!

“We could have a baby, you know. Of our own DNA and everything.” Kaidan’s charcoal voice sings in the cool night air, making Shepard shiver. His voice is soft now, in a way it never was during the war. He’s aged like a fine whiskey, Shepard thinks.

“Like, grown in a dish? The experimental ones?”

“Heh, no. Like an actual baby.”

“The artificially grown babies are actual babies, Kaidan.”

Kaidan glares halfheartedly. “You know what I mean.”

“Uh-huh. And who would carry it?”

“Call me crazy, but I might just have an idea.”

Kaidan whispers in Shepard’s ear, then gives him a conspiratorial wink. Good thing, too, because out in public, the paparazzi go crazy for the pair. If it ever got back to her that way… John shivers again, this time out of fear.

“Yes, you’re crazy. Jesus, Kaidan.”

“I don’t mean we’d do it do it, just artificial insemination. I mean, unless you wanted to like, watch or something… she’s pretty gorgeous. In an absolutely ‘this woman could kill you’ kind of way. Which might be even sexier than the non-lethal way, now that I think about it.” Kaidan wiggles his eyebrows, eyes alight with mischief.

Shepard’s not sure what to do with that.

“Kaidan Alenko.”

“Hey, ass. My name is Kaidan Shepard-Alenko, and you better not forget it.” He leans in for a kiss and Shepard doesn’t deny him. It seems to mollify Shepard a bit.

“It’s not that I wouldn’t… I mean, I’m gay, Kaidan.”

Kaidan laughs heartily. “I’m aware, John.”

“Okay then. But yeah… maybe. If it’s something she’d want.”

“Won’t hurt to ask, will it?”

“I don’t know, she wasn’t known as the psychotic biotic for no reason,” he whispers, so as not to alert any nearby paparazzi.


6 months later

Kaidan sits outside the clinic, propped up on the side of the concrete fountain, looking pensive. Looking like an old fashioned statue from back on Earth, more like, or at least he would if he were naked. His husband takes a second to appreciate the view before he approaches and sits hip to hip with him.

“You aren’t getting cold feet, are you?”

“What? No, no, of course not. It’s just…” Kaidan trails off, gesticulating.

“It’s a big deal?”

“Yeah. Exactly. I mean, what if I mess this kid up?”

“Pfft. You? Now be honest here, which one of us is bound to mess a kid up? You, with the fine family background and stable home life, or me… the crazy colony kid who wouldn’t know how to sit still even while injured if it wasn’t for his extremely stable and patient husband?”

“Are you kidding? You’re… perfect, John. ‘s why everyone in the galaxy wishes they were me.”

Shepard swings an arm around Kaidan and pulls him close. “Kaidan, you’re an idiot. Most of the galaxy wishes they were me, just so they could get close to you. And your rockin’ ass.”

Their each roll their eyes at the other. Jack walks out of the clinic carrying a little blue ball of lightning, a warning to the two of them that if they don’t get their asses in the clinic, shit might get violent.

“Hey, don’t you guys wuss out on me now. Not after I took all those fertility drugs just so I could carry this thing.”

Shepard smiles brightly, which just deepens her scowl. “We’re coming. Kaidan here’s just worried he’ll be a terrible dad. The usual, you know. Pre-family jitters and all that.”

“Well then, tell him he can be the mom.” She sticks her tongue out at them and walks back the way she came. Kaidan’s jaw drops as he watches her walk away, and John can barely hold in the laughter.

“John, did she just-?”

“Yes, Kaidan, she did just. C’mon, let’s get in there. We’re gonna have a baby, do you realize how amazing that is?”

“Heh, yeah.” Kaidan smiles, big and bright and everything John ever wants to see until the day he dies. “Yeah, it’s amazing. I’m ready.”

They walk into their future hand in hand, just as they’ve always done and will always do.

anonymous asked:

Speaking from experience, I can definitely believe that much of the alt-right are sons of single feminist mothers. These mothers raise their sons with feminist values/expectations that differ greatly from the values/expectations of mainstream society. The problem is that, when you're young and before you figure yourself out, these opposing values don't cancel each other out, they STACK. You've got to be a manly man (or people call you a fag) and never do anything that is sexist or harmful to

women in any way (or you feel like a traitor and a misogynist asshole). Women will give you shit if you take offense to their man bashing, men will give you even more shit AND get violent every time you interrupt one of their sexist rants. Society will make your life hell if you refuse to be a man, but you can’t see a way to be a man without hurting women. Eventually, this makes you resentful, and since the men are too powerful and scary to deal with, you take it out on women. Bucket of crabs.

I can buy that, too. It just seems oddly specific.

The signs as shitty friends

aries- rlly weird. Gets wayyy too serious about shit thats nowhere near that serious. Is the epitome of the ‘Yikes!’ exclamation. Gets weirdly clingy. Tries to fucking absorb the shit they like and become it. Needs to find some chill. Is the annoying friend everyone lowkey dislikes bc they have too much energy and get annoying!

Taurus- clingy as hell. Deserve to b kinkshamed. Obsessive and dont take no for an answer. Highkey crazy. Lots are stalkers?? I dont know any tauruses bc i dont fuck with crazies?

Gemini- fucking fake as hell, flaky as fuck and liars. Can never rely on them because they back out last minute. Doesnt stand up for anyone but themselves. Petty and gossipers, even though they pretend they dont like to gossip. Make u feel like shit in front of other people or belittle you. Doesnt know how to calm down and is always doing extra- but will pretend they dont like drama.

Cancer- big babies. Cry all the time and are super moody. Bitchy af and doesn’t know how to keep secrets. Bad with any information you don’t want shared. Talks shit about you. Gets violently upset over little things. Will make a big deal about something and then not tell you whats wrong. Doesn’t like being wrong and gets defensive quickly. Is cowardly af and has no backbone. Sooo annoying. Doesnt know how to stop being fucking annoying and dumb. Is probably into memes unironically and is a big fucking nerd.

Leo- holy shit doesnt know how to shut the fuck up. Thinks they’re hot shit while also having a ton of insecurities. U wanna punch them in the mouth constantly. No filter and rude. Clingy and horrible losers. Selfish. Will make you feel like shit because they can. Annoying as fuck and stubborn. Terrible friends bc theyre so selfish. Self entitled and never thinks they’re wrong. Should get their ass beat but are pretty violent bc theyre always so angry so they might actually win. Has no humility and is abrupt and mean. Shit talks lik no ones business.

Virgo- unpredictable and unstable as hell. Fake and compulsive liars. Lie all the time for no reason or bc they dont wanna look bad. Are horrible at keeping in contact. Weird. You can never tell what theyre thinking bc they dont tell u shit about their emotions. Actually self conscious af and says stupid shit that makes you mad. Thinks theyre funny when theyre really not and you gotta fake laugh around them constantly. Is easily influenced bc they dont stand up for anyone including themselves.

Libra- theyll seem lik a ride or die friend but rlly theyre ready to throw u under the bus whenever itll make them look better. fake as fuck around other people. Their social status and what people think of them is really important to them. Self centered. Only know how to talk about themselves. Will talk forever about themselves and dont know how to shut up or talk about other things. Manipulative and liars. Takes jokes too far and dont you dare ever offend them bc theyll b butthurt about it for 47 years and be big fucking babies about it. Pretentious as hell. Need to be taken down a couple pegs. Fake deep. Tht bitch tht lowkey tries to steal ur significant other. Lowkey clingy but act lik theyre not.

Scorpio- highkey crazy. Gets obsessed with things easily. Bad with money bc they love spending it. Horny a lot?? I cant stress the crazy part enough. Clingy as helllll. Where r their boundaries? We just dont know. Somehow always hot but really needy despite the attention they get for being so hot. Does everything in extremes.

Sagittarius- overprotective as FUCK. Gets real fuckin personal and nasty when you get in fights with them. Will touch on shit they know theyre not supposed to ever touch on just to make you feel like shit. Will nag your ear off. Controlling but cant keep their own life in order. Critical and snappy. Get grouchy easily. Talks a lot of shit. Thinks theyre perfect and sits on a ‘holier than thou’ pedestal thats fucking 10 stories high. Hypocrite.

Capricorn- no use in arguing with them because theyre too stubborn. Opinionated and unreasonable. Holds grudges to their grave. Has an inflated self esteem. Liars who are rude and lowkey controlling. Thinks theyre super complicated but theyre actually super boring. Likes to argue. Needs to get punched in the face tbqh. Annoying as hell and gets jealous all the time. Acts like theyre chill when they are actually the most unchill. Thinks theyre better than everyone else. Probably has a god complex.

Aquarius- angry all the time. Hotheads with a short fuse. Blunt and can be really rude. Explosive anger. Actually super sensitive despite how they act and get their feelings hurt easily and then gets butthurt. Is that one friend who has no life so when something happens they blow it out of proportion and cause more drama than is necessary. Condescending. Holds grudges.

Pisces- fuckin moody little assholes who act like theyre open and honest when theyre actually super self conscious and will lash out at the tiniest criticism or something taken as an insult. Huge assholes with the ‘im just being honest’ kind of asshole humor. Probably likes family guy and tosh.0. Acts like theyre super progressive when they’re not. Mean and flirt with fucking anything that moves. Pushy and rude as hell, thinks theyre slick when theyre actually obvious as fuck. Offends everyone and isnt sorry even when they say theyre sorry. Thinks theyre really hot (which they are) but their personality kills it. Cheaters. Will probably try to steal ur significant other.

anonymous asked:

Strawberry cake!

Name a cinnamon roll.

(I have so many, but my most recent is:)

Wolfgang Bogdanow; he’s all gruff and kind of a newly-internationally-wanted criminal, what with him just murdering a couple dozen people or so…

but he also loves his best friend more than anything in the world, even took him to a (possibly) private care facility for ‘round-the-clock care and protection for him when he realized he wouldn’t be able to keep vigil after what he needed to do; he helps where he doesn’t have to (with Lito and Joaquin); and he’s just all-around adorable when it comes to Kala.

Mostly though, the grim and violent and, sometimes, murderous personality traits are what got me.



at this

little shit

and tell me

he is not the most precious

of precious cinnamon rolls to be protected at all costs.

Tell me.


Petition for Sean to write BDSIII on his own.

anonymous asked:

??? what was wrong with what Shen was saying? wasn't he just saying that no one should have to experience violence based on what they believe?

he’s referring to richard spencer, a nazi, getting punched in the face. richard spencer has said that white people must ask themselves if there is a need for a black genocide, and what the best way of going about it would be. by all accounts, richard spencer deserved to get punched in the face for ‘what he believes’.

it’s not like everyones spreading that video like mad because richard spencer doesnt like the taste of sushi, or his favorite color isn’t purple. his ‘belief’ is that america should be ethnically cleansed. so contrary to shens tweets, there are absolutely circumstances where someones beliefs justify violence toward them. like, he knew what he was saying when he tweeted that, he knew the circumstances, and he shouldve known better than to jump on the ‘when is violence okay’ side of things.

If you’re going to talk about Cavan’s IG post actually read it first and understand what he said. DON’T make assumptions and put blame on members who have done nothing. He said himself that it was a Topp Dogg G member, not someone in Topp Dogg and that he wants everyone to continue supporting Topp Dogg. Don’t turn this into some trivial witch hunt when you know nothing.

The Good Dinosaur is…okay. Apparently the movie changed directors several times over the course of the film, and it’s pretty apparent, the different parts of the movie don’t feel like part of one cohesive film so much as a collection of stories. 

The beginning of the movie…did not do a fantastic job pulling me in. The first few minutes were alright, though my interest kinda went down a bit when the dinosaurs first started talking, and when the baby dinos were born…I had a bit more trouble suspending my disbelief. They came out of their eggs perfectly able to walk and run around and play, not at all wobbly. Like- There wasn’t any egg goo, and I can forgive them for that, it’s a kid’s movie, keep the weird gore to a minimum (they later kinda went back on that, but I’ll get to that). But like…during that entire scene, my brain kept going to other baby animals- kittens are helpless for their first few weeks of life, humans for their first few YEARS, the easiest comparison was horses, but even THEN they’re still kinda wobbly and helpless and new. After that, the rest of the intro felt a bit…contrived? Rushed, maybe? The visuals were underwhelming, the character motivation (set for the whole movie) was sorta dumb- to get his footprint up on the siloh (’YOU HAVE TO EARN IT’ come on you literally just put a muddy footprint on a thing you built), very clearly a metaphor (they didn’t even HIDE what it was supposed to be), and it came back at the end of the movie, but, again, I’ll get to that. It’s just…ten or fifteen minutes of bad rushed exposition, and then Littlefoot  Arlo was fucking whisked down the river (it was REALLY obvious it was going to happen, again, they barely tried with their foreshadowing and metaphors) and the REAL movie begins.

The middle part is what you come to see the movie for- it’s much more visually impressive, has actual character arcs and good portrayal of reacting realistically to having to relive trauma, and aside from a really dumb alcohol sequence in the traditional Disney Elephants On Parade There-Was-Clearly-Something-Else-In-There style, it’s WORTH sitting through the screaming kids in the theater. Unfortunately, this part also suffers a bit through something the rest of the movie has issues with- it spends so much time trying to be visually impressive that the plot’s just kinda rushed. If I had to describe it, it’s trying to be The Croods, but in Wyoming. But then there’s a lot more shit that gets…weirdly really violent. Arlo gets knocked out THREE times in this movie, the kid decapitates a gigantic bug RIGHT ON SCREEN, THEY SHOW PTERODACTYLS SWALLOWING AN ANIMAL WHOLE AND THEN PULLING IT BACK OUT TO FIGHT OVER SAID ANIMAL, THE MAIN CHARACTER FIGHTS A BUNCH OF RAPTORS, THEY MAKE A POINT TO SHOW THE CHARACTER BRUISED AND CUT (NO BLOOD THOUGH OOOOH) AND AT THE END THE KID TEARS A FUCKING HOLE IN A PTERODACTYL’S WING LIKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS IS PROBABLY THE LEAST KID FRIENDLY KID’S MOVIE I’VE SEEN IN A LONG TIME. Anyway, the good middle part ends when he does one thing to show How Brave He Is Now and then he’s like ‘OH HEY THAT’S HOME GOODBYE I HAVE TO GO SERVE THE PLOT INSTEAD OF DOING THINGS THAT ARE ACTUALLY INTERESTING’ and dashes off. 

The ending is…guh, the ending is SO DUMB. There’s a whole sequence of “REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE SIMBA” and suddenly there’s a bunch of heavy-handed super cliche SUPER contrived bullshit about “the importance of family” out of absolutely NOWHERE. This movie wasn’t about family before- it was about personal growth and finding your way home, learning to overcome your fear to reach your goal, and suddenly it’s like “FAMILY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD” and my entire family cried and I was just sitting there like “WHAT IS THIS?” It wasn’t even that the kid went with the family of his own volition, Arlo PUSHED him to do it! If the kid has just decided to go himself and had a goodbye with the dinosaur, it would’ve been better, but Arlo was just ‘no go away go be with these other humans you literally just met instead of me who you have a history with and a shared loss of loved ones we actually have a connection but YOU KNOW WHAT GO PLAY WITH THESE HUMANS YOU LITERALLY JUST MET GOODBYE I WILL NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN” And then the end is just…super rushed? The character motivation brought up at the beginning? TOTALLY pales in comparison to the shit Arlo just went through. Like it’s the equivalent of being like “You trekked across the country all by yourself, and now you get to put your drawing up on the fridge!” It doesn’t make SENSE, his OTHER siblings did things that were more or less EXPECTED of them and they got to put their footprints on the Siloh and it’s like Arlo just trekked across an ENTIRE STATE and they just said ‘you get a gold star! Good for you!’ and it just ENDS THERE. Like, holy shit what a waste of PLOT!

TL;DR: The plot was boring and rushed, the beginning and end sucked, it was weirdly violent, the best part of the whole movie was the short that aired before it.