Ranking Dread(ful shoes)

This blog is already turning into a full-time job, and I have decided to make it even more work by ranking shoes posted and submitted on a range of Top Trumps style categories. Like Top Trumps, a low score in one category doesn’t disqualify or let the shoe down overall (or if you are battling in another category).

Categories are as follows:

  • Batteredness: brand new or well worn?
  • Bananafication: how upturned and banana like are they?
  • OTT branding: more one for the trainers than the dress shoes but I am surprised on the daily.
  • Superfluous fastenings: extra buckles etc. The footwear equivalent of the 12 zips on that godawful Superdry jacket.
  • Pointiness: could they take someone’s eye out?
  • Squaretoeosity: Can you guess? Squareness of toe, funnily enough. Somehow not always mutually exclusive with pointiness.

I’ll be using these categories from hereon out, and if I get a spare couple of hours I might even go back and rank the older ones.

Back to the footwear.