shit-is-a-happenin'-on-the-dash

4

“Maybe there’s a universe out there — happening now — where we end up together. Maybe there’s a universe where I’m the right person for you. Where I adore every nice thing you did for me without starting to resent you. ” - Gaby Dunn

you know when you post something embarassing and then you try to cover it up by posting other things right after it? i like to think that that’s why jimin and namjoon tweeted right after yoongi and his “omg hobi stop taking photos of me wearing your present~~~~” 

Demons Vs Trees

Our party was making our way through a desert, only to find a forest of cedar, growing in straight lines. Finding a obviously man-created forest in the middle of a desert was a little odd, so our druid (who speaks plant languages) decided to introduce himself. 

Druid: Hello, I’m-
Tree: Do you have the stuff? Am I growing straight enough? I can grow straighter if you give me the stuff!
Druid: The…. Stuff?
Tree: Yeah. You know. The stuff.
Druid: I have no clue what the stuff is.
Tree: Guys, he doesn’t have the stuff. (The other trees groan.) Why would you even come if you don’t have the stuff? 

Meanwhile, the fighter and enchanter find some rocks scattered all over the place that could be used in very strong plant growth potions. They relay this information to the druid.

Druid: I don’t have the stuff, but I can try something. (He casts a spell for speeding plant growth)
Tree: Yes! Yes! Again! More! Do it again!
GM: The trees outside the spell radius are getting agitated and are shaking. They are yelling at you for not casting it on them.
Druid: Holy shit guys, these are addict trees.

Later, in the same forest, we get into an encounter involving a bunch of low level demons.  

Fighter: There’s a lot of them, so no stealing my kills! (Starts off towards the nearest target)
Enchanter: (Uses a spell that vaporizes all of the demons in a 30ft radius)
Fighter: Seriously? What did I just say? (Heads after another)
Druid: (Quietly hands a note to the GM)
GM: Suddenly, the trees begin to shake and branches start falling off left and right. You head thuds through out all of the forest. Luckily, none of you seem to even get a scratch- but all of the demons are dead. After investigating, you find there were more than you thought there were. Maybe about 300 total.
Fighter: Are you kidding me with all this? I wanted to smash something.
Druid: So umm. I might have promised that any trees who helped us in the fight would get a growth spell. We might be in the forest for a while.
Enchanter: I’m still getting over that the battle was won by addict trees.

The perpetually-offended on tumblr are complaining about people drawing NSFW fan art of the Wendy’s mascot...

And I’m just sitting here thinking, “You must be new to the internet".

Like…it’s been this way for at least 15 years now.  You came here late.  This is something you’re just going to have to deal with, because complaining ain’t gonna do shit

I thought you weren't going to be a bitch!?

Me: I’m going to do my best to not play a total bitch character this time.
DM: alright sounds good.

*in session, 4 PCs meet. Their parents have known each other for years. Many of them having sexual relations during their travels*

*my Tiefling gets into an argument with the half dragon, while 2 others watch*

Tiefling: Well I know that your mom was kinda crazy. So you looking as scary as you do makes a lot of sense.
Half Dragon: Who the hell do you think you are talking to me about my family like that? You don’t know my parents?
Tiefling: What are you talking about? My mom has fucked your parents!

Everyone (out of character, to me): WHAT THE FUCK!!
DM: You said you wouldn’t be a bitch!
Me: I’m sorry guys…..

The DM got up and walked away shortly after.

anonymous asked:

I don't understand something, the circle that summoned bendy is now on his hand?

Yeah, that actually has nothing to do with Drew, Henry kind of accidentally caused it due to erasing the quarter-circle in it, resulting in the circle sort of rebooting and, due to Bendy STANDING ON IT at the time, summoning him “properly”…on himself. Basically Henry fucked up, but because this also removed the corruption on Bendy, it works out fairly okay.

That’s not a spoiler because Breaking The Spell is already a thing.