shit sorry spelling mistake


It has been eight months since I committed the most devastatingly gargantuan error in the entirety of my career - agreeing to be Mr. Wilson’s therapist…

As I suspected, he turned out to be irredeemable.

  I must admit, I had sliced out his tongue but it grew back with a vengeance, criticizing me in every manner. He criticized my culinary skills…

He criticized my art… and went too far with destroying it, mercilessly…

And he criticized my therapy techniques.

I am the Chesapeake Ripper, Il Mostro, Hannibal the Cannibal, yet, I am affected immensely.

He is watching me as I write this. I had to declare a recess mid-session to vent my frustrations, as he has, a few moments back, admitted that he has stolen my samurai sword.

In the end, I must admit, he does grow on you. One may say like a pest, the kind you learn to live with ‘cause you cannot kill it. But to me, he has become a friend of sorts - an uninvited, extremely bothersome friend. And, above all, he makes my Will laugh…

Yes, I have grown fond of him. If one may try to harm my foolish friend, I’d have their heart on a platter.

~ Hannibal Lecter

anonymous asked:

I so wanna send some NSFW asks but you don't do those and I SUFFER! Well, I guess some fluff will do. So, can I have some cuddling head canons with Tfp poly KOBD and their bot s/o?

Lmao, yeah I’m not the best at writing NSFW related stuff. Actually that’s a lie. I can do it fairly well, just not with cybertronians, but yeah anyway, some poly KOBD cuddles coming right up!


  • In terms of PDA, neither Breakdown nor Knockout seem to really mind it that much, but they do understand when certain acts maybe aren’t the most appropriate during certain situations. Knockout is however that little bit more into PDA than Breakdown is, but that’s mainly due to him being just that bit more casual and open about the relationship between the three of you. They both do tend to be much more affectionate in private though.
  • It’s usually either you or Knockout who is at the centre of your cuddle piles to be honest. Knockout mostly though because he’s actually a huge affection hog - but watch his finish! Not a single scratch or else you’ll never hear the end of it and he’ll demand that whoever made the scratch buff it away, pronto.
  • If one of you has a had a long and tiring day, then whoever it is that seems down will end up being the main target for the others’ affection, and will most likely be spoiled with so many smooches, along with plenty sweet reassuring words and hugs. You all look out for each other in this relationship.
  • There’s times when you and Knockout like to pamper Breakdown and smother him in affection. You both like to remind him that he plays a just as important part in this relationship and that you both love him lots.
  • When giving individual hugs, Knockout tends to try and casually drape an arm over you or Breakdown’s shoulders (it really is trying with Breakdown) or he snakes both of them around your midsections.
  • Breakdown, on the other hand, can’t seem to help himself and usually ends up literally picking the other up off the ground and showing each of you how strong your big Decepticon boyfriend is.
  • When you’re all lounging about together, Knockout tends to go off on one and rants to you and Breakdown about stuff going on around the Nemesis (he’s a great source for gossip if you’re into that and you like knowing what’s going on). So if a cuddle session has been initiated, you’ll definitely have something being spoken about to keep you entertained.

Somedays I feel so close to you it’s like you are here and I can almost feel your warmth.

Somedays I feel the ocean that is between us an its so cold.

With no control over the thoughts I have of losing you.

I struggle to express my feelings for you through only words and a screen.

I long for your touch.

Knowing that somedays you hurt and are upset and I can’t do anything to help change it.

Not being able to be the shoulder you cry on and the hand you hold oh so very tight.

I have to remember that some day, I will be there….

Just hear me out here:

I want to start out with that i have absolutely no intention of offending or upsetting anyone. I simply want to point something out. I understand that I’m a gryffindor and i don’t understand exactly how slytherins feel about this subject, but i think I’m seeing it from both sides. so here me out, and please don’t get mad. 

now, a huge problem that people have with that battle of Hogwarts is that all the slytherins are escorted from the great hall because of what pansy said and that J.K. writes no instances of slytherins fighting in the battle. A lot of people feel that this was lazy, and i see where you’re coming from, i do. But I don’t think this is really whats going on. 

lets start with McGonagall having all the slytherins being escorted as a house out of the great hall because of what Pansy said. Now, I think that we can all agree on that Pansy is not a good example of a slytherin and that the whole house shouldn’t have been punished for her words. But put yourself in McGonagall’s place for a second. A battle is coming in an hour. She knows that most of the death eaters children are going to be in slytherin. She must make fast, and consequently rash, decisions. She has to make sure that these students cannot help their parents get into the castle and harm anyone else, including the other slytherins, in anyway. 

But McGonagall is a very fair teacher and person, as shown in the books when she takes points from gryffindor just as soon as she would from the other houses. i honestly believe that she understands that this is a generalization and not true. She knows that the majority of the house is nothing like pansy, crabble, and goyle. She also knows that slytherins will do anything to achieve what they want to achieve. 

ALL of these students are escorted to the dungeons by just one old caretaker that cannot use magic and then evacuated from the building after that, and i think this is completely intentional. SHE GIVES THEM CHANCES TO GET AWAY. McGonagall knows that the slytherins who want to fight will find a way in that span of time to get away from that group. That if they really want to fight for Hogwarts, they will. That is their momentary ambition, and they will achieve it. McGonagall knows and understands her students. She understands this about them. 

Now for the actually battle. The most important thing to remember is that THE BATTLE WE READ/SEE IS IN HARRY’S POINT OF VIEW. WE ONLY SEE WHAT HE SEES, AND HE HAS A VERY SPECIFIC TASK. He has to get to the horcruxes. He is not, until they very end of the fight, in the middle of this battle at all. He cannot take in everything around him or note everything that’s going on, he is in one place, concentrating on one thing. He cant see through walls and note everyone that’s fighting. 

He notices Lavender because Ron had a relationship with her, he notices Fred and Percy because he has relationships with them. He notices Ginny later because he loves her. He even notices Draco because he had a relationship with him, even if it wasn’t a good one. and other than that, harry didn’t have any relationships with slytherins. There is no reason why he would pick them out and note them specifically, when he is so focused on what he has to do. 

but that, in no way, means slytherins didn’t fight. I think its simply ridiculous to think they didn’t! They cared for the school and the cause just like all the other houses did. If they wanted to fight, they would have, and i believe without a doubt that they wanted to fight. It would have taken many people from all the houses to keep up with the death eaters like they did. If Hogwarts wasn’t united as one, they would’ve fallen, they wouldn’t have stood a chance. But Hogwarts didn’t fall, in fact it put up one hell of a fight. and that’s why i believe that the slytherins fought too, even if Harry didn’t mention it.

Regarding The Sudden Subscriber Loss

Are you all feeling well? :) good!!

So lots of people have noticed the sudden HUGE loss in subs on youtube. I am very aware of it despite people constantly messaging me about it thinking I have no idea haha. The channel lost a total of around 250k subs the other day which embarrassingly brought the channel back under 11 million even though we already celebrated that milestone but it’s kind of funny :P
I talked to Google people today and while it’s reported as a bug it’s not the type of bug you’d expect. It’s not a glitch showing the wrong sub count that will later get fixed and bump back up, the subs that are gone are gone for good and wont be back. Normally youtube frequently delete dead channels or inactive channels which removes about 2-10k at a time which is fine but the bug was that it hadn’t done this cleanup in a LONG time. This caused a huge buildup and now all the subs to be removed happened in one fell swoop which looked really bad :P

IMPORTANT: I should tell people though, it has been reported that some active users were unsubbed from people too as part of this so check your subscriptions to see if you’re favourite youtubers are still there!

So no need to panic, it’s all good :) better to have accurate sub numbers than inflated ones for ego purposes. We’ll be back over 11 million again in no time :D let’s just keep making cool shit and having fun

For pumpkinspicedhemmings this took way too long, my apologies, I’m sick so this is gonna be really bad! Oh and this is unedited so sorry for spelling mistakes or some shit not making any sense! And I may or may not have added a smudge of daddy kink in here…I’m sorry I also may have added the tiniest bit of Muke.. I’m a bad person, don’t read the Muke part if you don’t want

Jealous Michael smut

“Dare” you said almost immediately regretting it as Calum looked at you with an almost evil glint in his eyes
It was Saturday night and you were hanging out with Luke, Ashton, Calum and your boyfriend Michael playing truth or dare of course

“Perfect” he said. Oh fuck. “I dare you to make out with Luke for one whole minute

Michael glared at you and Calum, telling you it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to take this dare, but you were never one to pussy out of things so you obliged

You placed yourself on Luke’s lap looking down at him and connecting his lips with yours, his and your tongue moved around each other and you could hear distant cat calls and whistles from Ashton and Calum

"Okay times up” Calum said, but Luke didn’t stop

“Guys..” I heard Ashton say but Luke just kissed me harder and I could feel him hard under me as I tried to muster the strength to pull away

“He said time is fucking up” Michael growled pulling you roughly off of Luke and giving Luke a death glare as Luke’s eyes widened and he realized what he had done

“Mate I’m sorry I -”

“Don’t, just go fix your problem and never fucking touch her again” Michael said low and angry

Luke got up quickly and shuffled away as Michael pulled you down the hall to the bedroom, ignoring more cat calls and whistles from Ashton and Calum

He pushed you in the room and on the bed, walking over and straddling you as you sat up against the headboard
He started moving his hips against yours immediately in large, slow circles, he was so hot when he was mad

“Mm who do you belong to princess?” He asked, his hands slipping under your shirt as he rubbed lightly on the skin of your waist

“Hmm?” He asked when you didn’t answer, grinding onto you more forcefully, he started sucking on your neck

“L-Luke” you said, it coming out as more of moan

His movements stopped and he looked at you, a tear rolling down his cheek
“Really? Is Luke actually that much better than me?” He asked evidently hurt and you immediately regretted teasing him like that

“No no no baby I’m sorry I was just teasing, you are so much better than Luke, I’m sorry” you said and his eyes hardened again

“You shouldn’t tease me like that baby you scared me” he said and started moving again, even more forcefully

“Mm sorry” you said, half heartedly this time His hands came farther under your shirt until he pulled it completely off you

He was getting more and more frantic, moving his hips quicker every second that passed and fumbling with our clothes until we were both completely naked

He left opened mouth kisses all down my body until he reached where I needed him

He spread my wetness over a finger and up to my clit, applying a bit of pressure making my body jerk up

“Michael please” I begged

It seemed like he didn’t hear me as he kept rubbing only one finger up and down me, while licking his lips

“Such a pretty pussy you have here baby” he said as he continued admiring it

He made his way up my body until his lips reached my ear “too bad I’m gonna ruin it” he whispered deeply

He went back down, and looked at me, knowing full well what he was doing, so I decided enough was enough I dragged my fingers down my body and put 2 fingers inside myself, moving them quickly finally finding a bit of pleasure Michael’s hand came roughly down on my hand almost ripping my fingers out of me

“What do you think you’re doing angel? That’s mine” he said as he leaned forward and started licking inside me

“Oh god Michael” I said as he went deeper and deeper

“Oh fuck fuck fuck Michael I’m close” I said

“Don’t you dare” he said but kept his tongue inside me, licking and sucking everywhere he could reach until I couldn’t hold back anymore and I released on his face

“What did I tell you” he said angrily throwing me over his lap, not wasting anytime before spanking me

I whimpered at the mixture of pain and pleasure from his hands

After ten hard spanks, he rubbed his hands over my ass soothingly before turning me over and forcing me on top of him

“Ride me” he said, and I was surprised he was handing control over to me

I took a condom out of the side drawer by my bed and slipped it on him before lining him with my entrance and falling down on him as he filled me to the brim

“F-fuck” he said quietly and I just sat there until he started roughly pulling on my hips trying to get some friction

I pulled myself up and back down, his hands on my ass helping me

I moved as slowly as I possibly could, ignoring the protests from Michael until finally he couldn’t take it anymore

He flipped us over and started thrusting quickly into me over and over

“Could Luke do this baby girl, could he fill you like this, make you feel this good?” He asked and i nodded at him

“I bet he could make me feel even better” I said even though I knew I was lying

He put one of my legs over his shoulder and pounded into me faster than he ever has before, making me scream his name loudly

“You’re mine not Luke’s you got that princess?” He said and I nodded at him

“Yes” I said

“Yes what?” He asked

“Y-yes daddy” I yelled

“Good girl” he said leaning in and kissing my forehead as he continued and I started jerking my hips up at him making him hit a deeper

“Oh oh shit Y/N yes fuck oh my god” he whimpered and came in the condom

He stopped and pulled out, leaving me whining from being denied my orgasm

“Ride my face” he said as he layed back downI was a bit hesitant but I was in no position to deny

“Yes daddy” I said getting on top of him

He immediately started licking around my clit, sucking on it roughly before tonguing around my ring of muscle and pushing his tongue inside me

He pulled me closer and closer, licking every bit of me that he could and before long I was cumming harder than ever on his face but it felt a bit weird I got off him and looked at him as he looked at me with amazement and pride

“What?” I asked

“You just squirted, I made you squirt” he said proudly as I covered my face in embarrassment

“That was so hot” he said pulling you in close until we heard noises down the hall

We got up and redressed and cleaned up a bit before leaving and going into the living room seeing Ashton and Calum mocking us

“Oh oh shit Y/N yes oh my god” calum yelled

“Yes daddy” Ashton screamed louder than necessary as I saw Luke just sitting on the couch twiddling his thumbs around awkwardly

“Go make it up to Luke for getting so mad at him” I said and Michael looked at me weirdly

“Go!” I said before pushing him off and he went over to Luke, straddling him and mumbling apologies before pulling him in for a kiss, making out with him for a few minutes before pulling away

“I can see why you didn’t pull away” he said getting up off Luke and making his way back over to me, and you could see him somewhat hard again

“Go fix that thing, I’ll try to calm down Ashton and Calum” I said as Michael ran down the hallway and you could see Luke had a pillow over his lap

“Oh god” you shuddered


A/N, so I just realized that I switched between saying ‘I’ and ‘you’ a lot my apologies I’m too lazy to fix it

Scooter time with Chanyeol and Kai
  • Suho jumps up from the couch throwing his newspaper in the air: WHAT THE BLEEP IS THAT OH LORD
  • Baekhyun: Suho calm down, I think that's Chanyeol *looks out of the window* jup its Chanyeol; he went to buy his scooter remember.
  • Suho with a straight face: oh yeah *frowns* that thing. So he bought it anyway even if I told him not to. tsss.
  • Baekhyun: Suho he is over 18 you know, he can do what he wants-
  • Suho: I Dont CAAAaaRe, these things are dangerous, I don't trust them. *grabs his newspaper* I hope he's wearing a helmet.
  • Baekhyun: hahahaha dont worry mom; he is.
  • Suho jumping up from the couch once again: WHAT THE F'ING F IS THAT
  • Baekhyun: wow that was loud *looks out of the window again* YOOOOOOOOOOOO MOM COME LOOK AT THIS
  • Suho walks over to the window: what- FUCK ING HELL WHAT IS THAT
  • outside Kai just took his helmet of and is sitting on a big black motorbike with someone else behind him.
  • Suho opening the window screams: YOU THREE. COME UPSTAIRS. NOW
  • ...
  • Chanyeol storms in: SUHOOOOOOOOOO WHADYA THINK OF MY NEW SCOOTeR *proudly hands him the brochure of his new scooter* look it even has a lil exo flag :D
  • Suho: yea yea whatever *turns to Kai and grabs him by his collar* dont f-ing tell me that's yours
  • Kai: ehm... *grins* yes?
  • Suho: FUCKING HELL JONGIN, A MOTORBIKE?? AND WHO IS THIS GIRL *points at the person who is desperately trying to get the helmet off*
  • Kai: mom chill *walks over to help the person with the helmet* it's Soo.
  • D.O: wow. that was wild.
  • Suho staring with open mouth at the three kids and sighs: I can't *leans on the sofa* i just cant anymore. Jongin where the fuck did you get the idea of buying this dangerous monstrous thing?
  • Kai: *nervous* euhm eh TV? *grins*
  • Suho: ok im gonna ask u one more time: where. did. u . get . that . idea
  • Kai with bowed head and a small voice: dad suggested it to m-
  • Kai: ehm
  • Suho: FUCK
  • Baekhyun: ooo Suho, don't curse that much
  • Baekhyun with puppy eyes: *pouts* moom? :(
  • Suho: u don't have eyeliner on ur not cute, go do the dishes.
  • Baekhyun: WAHt y me I didn't do anyt-
  • Suho: do the fucking dishes
  • Suho: *calls Kris*
  • Kris somewhere in china: hello-
  • Suho: I . WILL . HAVE . MY. REVENGE *slams the phone down*
  • Kris: what

galaxybutterfly23  asked:

Bad boy michaek clifford coming ti your house kate at night through your window because he cant sleeo and he want to skeep next to you pleaseee and sorry for any english mistake

Oh you’re fine! I know actually what you meant :)

(again there may be some spelling/grammar mistakes sorry my spelling is shit..thank you spell check haha)


1:30am the clock on your bedside table read illuminating your bedroom in a soft red glow. You were trying your best to try and fall asleep but it just wasn’t happening. You rolled over onto your back in annoyance and looked around your bedroom taking in how slightly different your belongings looked in the dark when you heard something lightly tap your bedroom window. You choose to ignore it thinking it was some stupid bird when you heard it again and again more frequently until you had enough and got out of bed to investigate. You slowly pulled back your curtains and looked down to see your boyfriend Michael standing below with a handful of stones smirking up at you.

Michael and you had been going out for about 5 mouths now and you could say it was going really good although whenever you took him to meet your parents a month ago, your dad was not amused at all and told you to stop seeing Michael. He didn’t like the idea of you dating the ‘troublemaker’ in town which was slightly correct because Michael was considered the bad boy in school who didn’t give a shit about his school work and had his own motorcycle to get him around town and also you too as you loved being on the back of it as he sped through the roads making the wind blow your hair through the purple helmet he got you and getting the opportunity to wrap your arms around his body.

Back to now, you looked down at him trying to hold back your smile even though you were so happy to see him. You opened your window and whispered loud enough for him to hear.

“What are you doing here?”

He got down on one knee and placed his right hand over his heart and his other reaching out towards you before he answered you.

“Oh, Y/n, Y/n! Wherefore art thou Y/N?” he dramatically called to you grinning from ear to ear. You shook your head and laughed at how ridiculous he looked.

“Technically Juliet said that to Romeo, not the other way around.” You corrected him giggling. He now stood up on both feet and looked up at you.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, miss smarty-pants” he chuckled rolling his eyes a little and before returning to smirk at you.

That smirk did things to you and he knew that. Ever since you first met in history class and he through a piece of crumpled up paper at the back of your head. He always give you that famous smirk before he would walk up to you either to pull you into a hug, hold your hand or full on make out. His lips were always so soft and pink looking that just called out to be kissed and you felt like the luckiest girl in the world because you got to kiss them.

Michael was always so caring and gentle towards you but to anyone else he would just glare at them with those beautiful green eyes. To them he was the bad boy but to you he was a cuddly kitten that always wanted to leave kisses all over your face making you giggle, him soaking up your cute reaction. He thought you were the cutest thing on the planet, always reading in depth into a book or whenever you did nearly anything that involved you to concentrate hard you would stick out your tongue a little bit and he would just sit there and look at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes. One day you were reading something when you felt eyes on you and as you looked up you met his gaze making you look away and blush and he lightly touched your face and turned you to look at him again and told you how effortlessly beautiful you were.

“So…can I come up?” he questioned you with a hopeful look in his eye. His face was so adorable you couldn’t say no to it.

“Yes” you smiled down at him and giggling at his reaction because he literally ran towards the trellis that was attached to your wall.

“Please, be careful” you worriedly spoke to him because you really didn’t want him to fall, get hurt and have to take him to the hospital.

“I’m always careful, babe” he smirked at you reaching the very top and climbing though your window. As soon as both of his feet landed on your bedroom floor he pulled you into a tight hug nuzzling his face into your neck breathing in your scent. You both stood like this in silence for a while before you finally spoke up.

“Are you going to tell me what made you come hear so late?” you quietly asked as his lifted his head from your neck and looked at him with a small smile on his face.

“I couldn’t sleep” he admitted “It’s not the same without you there. I just needed to hold you and make sure you’re okay.” He pushed his bottom lip out into a pout making you want to kiss it so badly.

“I couldn’t sleep either” you whispered back leading in to kiss his soft lips. He tighten his arms around you as he deepen the kiss smiling into it and slowly the both of you walked towards your bed. The back of your legs bumped into the end of the bed causing you to topple over onto your back as Michael not to gracefully landed on top of you causing the two of you to break into a fit of giggles.

“shhhh” you brought a finger to his lips to silence him. “I don’t want to wake my parents, my dad would kill you if he found out.”

“Oh but baby that’s the fun of it. You just don’t when you’re going to get caught” smirking from above you “You’re a bad girl sneaking me away from your dad.”

“Shut up you” you chuckled pulling his face down to kiss him again and lightly playing with the hair on the back of his head when you started to leave kisses along his stubbly jawline, down his neck and his collarbones.

“Please baby, don’t turn me on because I know for a fact that if we continue this you won’t be keeping quiet” he lightly whimpered and moaned. Now it was your turn to smirk at him but you knew he was right so you stopped your teasing and climbed further up the bed and got under the covers patting the space for him to go to as he didn’t moved an inch during this but he automatically crawled towards you with a huge smile on his face. Soon the both of you were cuddled up together both on your sides with his arms wrapped around you making you the little spoon and him the big spoon. He lightly traced small spaces on the skin of your stomach and you listened to his breathing he started to trace what you thought were letters. You concentrated on what he was doing and soon found out he was writing something. ‘I love you’ he had traced onto your skin reaching his head down to leave a small kiss against your cheek and nuzzling his head into your neck again.

“I love you too, Michael” you whispered back to him feeling him smile against you neck. The both of you eventually fell asleep with him holding on tight to you as though you were going to leave him but you knew that you wouldn’t be going anywhere. Not without him.


It was actually yesterday but yes i know …

So here you go…

“sooooo…..Hanji, it’s your birthday. 
I’m not good with birthday wishes :(. 
But I’m just going to say i’m happy to have spent another year seeing your face…alive and well…
AND i’m wishing you another one, with lots of experiment and shit and happiness and whatever you want…
Anyway happy birthday 4 eyes…….
Love you and shit. “

(sorry for the spelling or grammar mistake, im french and i suck sometime at english …)