shit on liver

BTS As Things My Girlfriend Said


“You know what you are? You’re a butthole, *whispered* just like my asshole.”


“Wow, he looks like a sexy chicken nugget.”


“I don’t care if that healthy shit is good for my liver. BOI I DON’T GOT NO LIVER!”


*Suga’s part in Cypher PT. 4* “Back, back to the basic microphone check, call me baepsae, hit the nae nae, hit the ding bat go hay hay.”


Me: “Hey, you know this part is only ten syllables?” 
“YOU’RE ten syllables. STFU”


Me: “Did you ever find out what time?”
“I can’t hear you, I got diabetes.”


“What day does Saturday Night Live come on?”

whats even funnier about Grog having 8 hit points left is that he went backwards through the portal like a badass, meanwhile he’s probably bleeding out of every pore and missing parts of his body like

“yeah see that ancient *coughs up blood* one you ain’t got *barfs up liver* shit on Grog Strongjaw, you overgrown ass *wheeze* calamari *passes out the second he’s through the portal*”

So one of my managers decided to write up a colleague because he had surgery to remove shit from his liver and missed three weeks of work. ??? What in the absolute fuck. Also, he obviously had a doctors note. I’m so mad for him.

anonymous asked:

Whatever is your opinion on the whole sugar matter is fine - but the way you handled it is definitely not. why do you even care what someone else who never personally attacked you is eating. Why wouldn't you just enjoy your life and let her live hers? the worst thing however is how insensitive you've been to someone who struggles with an eating disorder and restricting. She's not a skinny white girl she is a human being with feelings and she's fighting her hardest against a horrible disease.

Not my fucking problem.

You post a pic of a cookie, talking shit about sugar detoxes, and saying shit like “the liver detoxes our bodies anyways” you are doing way more harm that good. Not only does she clearly not understand what sugar does to the body, she also doesn’t understand how condescending and toxic her post was. 

She LITERALLY made fun of people for cutting sugar out of their diet, which is an amazingly hard but extremely healthy (physically and mentally) thing to do. And you think what I did was bad?

socialdegenerate replied to your post: Does Japan have any wierd cola flavors?

I LOVE STRONG ZERO LMAO mostly because i hate my liver and also remembering the night before

Shit, man. “Hate your liver” is an understatement here. Every Strong Zero you drink is like setting your liver on a slab and then bludgeoning it repeatedly with the hammer of Thor. 

Originally posted by maryxglz


I went looking for a gif of mjolnir but found this and now…. 

Now I’m having trouble breathing. 


There’s a thorn in my side
On a spastic two-headed dragon I ride
In the wind, on a night
I choke on the smoke of the church that I light

I hear the call, I carry sin
To the house of the holy one within
I empty cans, I flick my light
Burn myself in the church tonight

There’s a curse on the wind
Shit on the liver again

Scream, die
My death and my funeral combined

Born of the wisdom of the ancient ghosts
The blood of the goat and the chalice we toast
To the win and the sin, unholy Odin
There’s a place where the old souls gather to boast
Of the thrill, and the spill
And the victims that they kill
If they die in the fields
Then they die at our will

Corpse in the church
The priest and the mourners evoked
In the old, cold morning light
I choke on the smoke of the church that I light

There’s a curse on the wind
Shit on the liver again
Scream, die
My death and my funeral combined

why y'all always tryin to drink?? what you should do this friday night is go to the store, pick up some antioxidants and vitamin supplements, and put some respect on that liver of yours.. she does so much and you treat her like this

i love my partner so fucking much i’m gonna marry him one day even though he just kicked the shit out of my liver in his sleep. hope y'all experience a love that wakes your hungover ass up at one in the morning with a swift kick to the stomach and some mumbled nonsense about snakes. bc once you know you can love someone through those 25 seconds of searing pain, you realize you can love them through truly anything.

Ah, that spoonie moment when you’re outside with a coworker who is also super pale and joking about how your forgot to bring sunblock and he’s like “ok bring it on” and holds out his forearm and you put yours up to see who is paler and he is like “wow I did not realize how olive your complexion was” and you are thinking to yourself “shit, what is my liver up to now?”