shit it's really fast

anonymous asked:

Okay thinking about Ugly Story being half a decade old is giving me a mini crisis?? Ugly Story the song is almost old enough to be a kindergartner

yeah fucking tell me abt it buddy i got kids messaging me on the daily like “I’ve been a fan of yours since I was 10! I’m going into college this fall!” UHHH OK THANKS BUT NO THANKS lol

at my new job I, a functioning adult, say “bye bye” to the bottles I put on the conveyor belt and make soft wooshing sounds when I go really fast with a push cart

Happy belated V-day~

guess who had the brilliant (read: stupid) idea of playing dishonored despite the fact that first person games make em really nauseous 

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jimmy just because theres flowers and filet mignon and romantic ambiance DOESNT MAKE IT a date

the-dovachiief  asked:

What are the werewolf tropes you like and dislike?

Honestly, I like most werewolf tropes but there are some I actively dislike:

  • alpha, beta, omega dynamics. mostly because thats not how wolves work and that shit gets weird really fast. If, in verse, its regarded as weird then okay, but i get annoyed when its presented as the standard
  • werewolves being REALLY bad at hiding they are werewolves? I don’t know how to explain this one. But if they all lose control every full moon on a consistent basis, there would not be any of them left. 
  • related to this: werewolves turf fighting like… for dumb reasons? “This city is ours.” “Why? There are only three of you.” “BECAUSE TERRITORY.” “You live in a nice house in the suburbs. How much turf do you even need?” “ALL OF IT.”
  • when it’s not magical. dont try to explain werewolves with science. stop that. i like my mystic stuff
  • vampires and werewolves are RIVALS for some reason? why? stop that. 

There are some werewolf tropes I definitely prefer. I like alot of the classic stuff, honestly, but here are some of my fave tropes:

  • awesome werewolf family dynamics. Any verse where werewolves are more likely to exist in familial cultures. Fight me and my big Asian werewolf pack. One area where Twilight is approved: giant tribe of werewolf Native Americans chillin’ next door. 
  • I due enjoy the idea there is some mysticism around the whole strength of the pack thing vs just the random lone werewolves. relationships basically are interesting
  • transformations where the werewolf literally rips their own flesh off to reveal their other self and vice versa. Hemlock Grove, Trick ‘r Treat and Van Helsing are a few of my favorite iterations of this in media. I also love the mid-step transformations: like just glowing eyes and fangs and weird bone protrusions and shit. 
  • honestly I prefer the bi-pedal wolf-man. just turning into big wolves is neat but you cant beat the classics some times. big wolves are also cool tho. both is best!
  • werewolf senses are very high and they pick up on shit in their human form too. The whole bit where just being a werewolf means you’re tougher and faster etc. 
  • I prefer that only newbie werewolves lose control of themselves during the full moon… the other werewolves just get ten times stronger than usual. 
  • I’m down for alot of the classic weaknesses since this shit is mystical: silver, wolfsbane, etc but I do like it when someone just hits a fucker with a bus. 
  • one of the best lines I heard about werewolves was from Zebragirl. There was an ancient werewolf who explained it like this: “The trick is that you have to find someone who truly wants to a wolf. That’s why it’s a curse to most people. Most people want to be… well, people.”
  • And on that vein: any media that addresses that born werewolf psychology tends to be wildly different from bitten werewolf psychology. And I prefer verses where both exist. 

anonymous asked:

How about pre-Swiss headquarters Gabriel being irrationally paranoid that his s/o might leave him for golden boy Morrison (I like Jack too, but I live for those jealous Gabe imagines)

l m a o me too also i wrote this imagine really fast and i think its shit im so rry

“Gabriel, you’re being insane. We can’t solve any issues if you won’t even tell me what’s wrong!” You throw your hands up in the air, exasperated. Your boyfriend rubs his temples as he sits alone at the table, seemingly ignoring the fact that you’re this close to actually losing your mind over his passive-aggresiveness lately. You’d recently been promoted, and had been talking Strike Commander Morrison about what kind of protocol and such you’d need to follow because of your new position. He was also just a good friend of yours, as he was to everyone, and every once in awhile he would pop by your office and make some jokes. Usually, they were quips about your boyfriend- and his best friend- Blackwatch Commander Reyes. 

You boyfriend’s mood had noticeably since your promotion, though, but chalked it down to you coming home a bit later than you used to, due to the new workload. He got annoyed a bit more easily, made some strange comments here and there, but that was about it. Your mind had barely grazed the idea of him being jealous or suspicious of his friend until today. Earlier that day, you were going to his office to drop off some monthly paperwork when Gabriel pulled you aside and almost started an argument right there outside Jack’s office. He’d come outside and asked what the fuss was all about, but Gabi had shut him up with a glare and pulled you away. That was the last straw. 

“You know exactly what I’m upset about, (Name)! You know how I feel about you talking to Jack like that.” Your eyes widen in surprise- so it had been jealousy! You couldn’t believe it. The thought of his distrust almost infuriates you at this point- you would never do such a thing, and you thought he knew you well enough to have some faith. You laugh in disbelief, he snaps his head up to shoot you a glare as you retaliate with the same answer you’ve given him a million times. “Like what?! He’s your best friend, and he’s my boss. There’s got to be more to it than you being jealous-” He stands up abruptly and retorts, “I am NOT jealous! I just don’t understand why everyone likes that boy scout more than me! Jack was my friend, and now it seems that everyone turns against me for him.  He’s already stolen so much from under me, and now he’s aiming to take you, too? Sorry, pendejo, but that will happen over mi cadáver!” He breathing shallows, and you stare at him, stunned. Gabriel Reyes rarely lost his head when it came to this relationship- it was always over you hurting yourself, him defending you, or a trifle of a misunderstanding. You step towards him and take off his beanie, fussing with his hair. “Gabi… are you actually just worried that I’ll leave you for Jack? That Jack is plotting to ruin you? That…that even sounds ridiculous, babe. We both love you, Gabi.” He sighs and pulls your hand down to his cheek, holding it there. His shoulders sag. “I don’t know, mi carin(o/a). It seems like everyone prefers him over me. He is my best friend, but he always wins. I don’t care so much about that, but I do care about you.” You sigh, incredulous over his insecurity. “Then stop worrying about it! You’re being so paranoid.. Jack’s nice and all, but there’s a reason why I choose you, brooding, hatred, and all, over him.” Your boyfriend chuckles, his breathing steadying as you reassure him. “Oh? and what is that reason?” You smirk. “I could go on and on… first of all, blondes aren’t really my thing.” 

ironfries  asked:

sam explain to me what curling is thank u

OH MARR, CURLING IS A BEAUTIFUL SPORT MEANT FOR KINGS. 

Literally. The King of Norway is well known as an expert curler. Or at least he wears the pants, which is close. (Purportedly he wears the pants. I couldn’t find photographic evidence; Norwegians are a shy and retiring people, apparently.)

I am going to explain you a curling and almost everything I tell you will be a lie, because my experience with curling is next to nil, and notmissmarple​ who once took me to a curling practice will be so mad at me. (Sorry N. You know I lie with love.) Curling fans can feel free to correct me but as we all know a lie on tumblr is a lie forever, so your efforts will likely be in vain.

CURLING: 

Curling was invented in Canada. No matter how often you tell people it was actually invented in Scotland, nobody will believe you, because it just seems like the kind of thing Canadians would come up with on those long, cold Edmonton nights. I mean, anyone can slide giant fucking stones across the ice at distant targets, probably at one time outlined with beer bottles, but it takes a Canadian to add in brooms. (It really was invented in Scotland. Wikipedia says so. And let’s be real, all the weirdos in Canada come from Scottish ancestry anyway. Don’t hate, it’s not like I don’t have a couple of sporrans hanging in my family tree.)

So there are these things in curling called stones, and they’re basically large hockey pucks with handles. Everyone on the team takes turns being the stoner thrower, who slides the stone across the ice towards a target. The goal is to get the stone into the middle of the target, sort of like really effed up darts. 

What makes Curling an amazing fucking spectator sport is the sweepers (who also trade out, depending on who’s throwing). The sweepers basically loom over the stone as it moves and, using tiny adorable brooms, chibi brooms if you will, SWEEP FRANTICALLY AT THE ICE to try to slow down, speed up, or change the direction of the stone. 

This works because of Science, even though it looks like an ultimate act of futility most of the time. The ice for curling is level but sprinkled with water to “pebble” it, which means that the brooms can really fuck its shit up if you sweep hard or fast enough. The thrower, having released the stone, helps the sweepers out by YELLING REALLY LOUDLY AT THEM in Canadian, the official language of Curling. “EH! EH! EH!” they yell, and in a hat-tip to their Scottish ancestors, “AULD LANG SYNE!” meaning “Sweep harder ye fuckin’ arseholes”. 

Swearing makes physics work better. Everyone knows this. 

Anyway, Curling is something that happens every four years at the Olympics, and generally the Norwegians win without even playing because look at their fucking uniforms

Also can we take a moment to click on “fucking” and reflect on the fact that the Norwegian WHEELCHAIR CURLING team even has awesome uniforms, and how god damned difficult must Curling be when you’re in a wheelchair? PROPS TO YOU, WHEELCHAIR CURLERS, YOU ARE HARDCORE. 

So to sum up: sport of kings, invented in Canada, best pants win. 

That is everything you need to know about curling to enrage a curling fan.

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“Freddie is lucky to have someone like you.”
The Take | Episode 01