Having dissociative amnesia is so weird because it’s not like normal forgetting where you’re kind of like “I think this happened but I don’t know the details”, it’s looking back at a period of your life and seeing absolutely nothing. There is nothing TO remember, it’s just like a big black pit where your childhood should be.
❛ i need a reasonable paying job, something like $2,000 an hour. nothing too wild. ❜ ❛ idc (i do care) ❜ ❛ ‘are you taken?’ yes bitch, taken for granted ❜ ❛ half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half is, well, an asshole ❜ ❛ you’re yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????? ❜ ❛ you will find your home, you will find your place. you will find your people. give it a little bit of time but it will happen. ❜ ❛ in order lead a happy life i’m gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit. ❜ ❛ any body else here not good at anything??? ❜ ❛ you can’t force people to appreciate you. ❜ ❛ *puts on baseball cap* i am the dad now… ❜ ❛ i fake smart.. like i’m honestly a dumbass idk shit but i know how to seem like i do.. i’m smart-passing.. ❜ ❛ every straight woman who ever called her platonic friend her ‘girlfriend’ owes me $50 ❜ ❛ i am a professional at misreading tones and overreacting to problems that most likely don’t exist ❜ ❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life, i will be impressed with myself ❜ ❛ you can’t cure sadnesses with a shower but honestly there is no purer place to suffer ❜ ❛ patiently waiting for a kind soul to come along and make everything a little softer, brighter. ❜ ❛ honestly i don’t even play an active role in my life, shit just happens and i’m like oh this is what we’re doing now? ok ❜ ❛ no offense but if i die and no one uses a ouija board to keep me updated on memes i will literally haunt you all ❜ ❛ imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 an hour ❜ ❛ i have finally reached the age of most young adult protagonists yet my life is still uneventful??? where is my cool story??? my cool talents??? @ universe i’m pissed ❜ ❛ hello, police? i accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested ❜ ❛ *tries to watch 45 minute episode in 20 minutes ❜ ❛ please don’t just come in my life, take my heart and leave. please don’t do that. ❜ ❛ concept: me, 10 years from now, living in a pretty house with my love, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. our dog curls up next to me in the window bench while our cat snoozes on the bed. i’m financially stable and i’m never tired anymore. the bees are safe. ❜ ❛ i can’t believe what walkie talkies are called ❜ ❛ the gorilla could have died and been done with in like a week but none of you know how to be normal ❜ ❛ me: *is bitter but is also right* ❜ ❛ just saw a girl in high heels long boarding to class. godspeed, my queen. ❜ ❛ i’ve never belonged anywhere, i’m always just in between ❜ ❛ too young for unnecessary stress, i gotta live ❜ ❛ i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information ❜ ❛ i’m like always sleepy. i feel like i should be used to this by now and stop complaining about being sleepy but i can’t. always, i’m sleepy. ❜ ❛ lmao no offense… but what’s the point of being mean to people for no reason ❜ ❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk ❜ ❛ “alcohol isn’t supposed to taste good” buddy watch me drink the fruitiest/sweetest shit i can find and enjoy it because i don’t hate myself enough to even begin to consider drinking like.. beer ❜ ❛ tfw you’re already fully aware of the unnecessary self destructive bullshit you’re doing but you can’t bring yourself to do anything to stop it ❜ ❛ hey sorry for not replying i didn’t want to ❜ ❛ honestly how am i gonna make it in the world???? i get a little teary eyed any time someone compliments my personality ❜ ❛ true bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing ❜ ❛ *touches your hand and looks seriously into your eyes* i am a piece of shit ❜ ❛ lets play ‘how rude can i be until you realize i don’t like you’ ❜ ❛ i love drunk me but i don’t trust her ❜ ❛ hate when i am wearing makeup and still look shitty like what else am i supposed to do? get enough sleep? eat right and exercise??? as if ❜ ❛ i’m not on a high horse. i’m not even on a horse. i’m face down in a ditch on the road of life ❜ ❛ i hate when people ask me what i would do in their situation because 9 times out of 10 i would literally never be in that situation in the first place ❜ ❛ i barely remember the last 6 months honestly like am i even alive ❜ ❛ you had me at ‘hello’ and lost me at ‘i think your friend is cute’ ❜ ❛ i’m pretty sure by now ‘tired’ is just a part of my personality description ❜ ❛ wow i really liked that song now i think i’ll listen to it another seventy times in a row ❜ ❛ ‘shit it’s 2 a.m.’ i say every day at 2 a.m. as if i’m surprised ❜ ❛ i’ve been stressed out since like the third day of second grade ❜ ❛ telling other girls they look pretty is like cracking a glow stick full of positivity and female friendship ❜ ❛ i want to be sun kissed and also people kissed ❜ ❛ about me: glowing, eating peaches, drinking wine in lingerie, not texting your desperate ass back ❜ ❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜ ❛ due to unfortunate circumstances, i am awake ❜ ❛ i’m gonna solve mysteries so fucking good ❜ ❛ what did people even wear in 2008 ❜ ❛ i’ll just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ my way through life ❜ ❛ you know what sucks? everything bye ❜ ❛ me? overreacting? probably ❜ ❛ people asking me what kind of music i like is such a stressful experience ❜ ❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life i will be impressed with myself ❜ ❛ if you listen carefully you can hear me whisper ‘shut the fuck up’ at least once every five minutes ❜ ❛ any time you like a boy just know you played yourself. always keep that stored in your mind for later ❜ ❛ hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof ❜ ❛ what i lack in personality i make up for in…….. nothing ❜ ❛ me? cancelled ❜ ❛ an app that tells you how raven something is ❜ ❛ be with someone who will take care of you. not materialistically but takes care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything that’s you ❜ ❛ i love the infinite multiverse theory because that means there’s a universe where i’ve pulled every single fire alarm i’ve ever seen ❜ ❛ name a more iconic duo than the lengths i’ll go to both get attention and to avoid it… i’ll wait ❜ ❛ i just want to be treated very gently and smell like vanilla and wear only matte dusty rose lipstick ❜ ❛ 2017 is going to be a very healing year because it’s going to force us to accept that 2007 was ten years ago not three and i think that’s the root of our collective issues ❜ ❛ i just wanna do cute things with you like crush the patriarchy, fight for gender equality, and help to destroy racism ❜ ❛ i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented… i forgot where i was going with this ❜ ❛ how is 2016 already almost over?? like this bitch came in, fucked us up, then left like she gave us a gift ❜ ❛ supercalifragilisticextentialcrisis ❜ ❛ stop breaking your own motherfucking heart ❜ ❛ co-napping is a beautiful thing. knock out with me so i know it’s real ❜ ❛ *on the verge of tears* ok not that i care, but ❜ ❛ it’s not you…. it’s your zodiac sign ❜ ❛ i want to be loved so bad it’s pathetic and embarrassing ❜ ❛ my heart is filled with hate and swag ❜ ❛ ‘i don’t care’ i say, caringly, as i care deeply ❜ ❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜ ❛ we all ugly to somebody, don’t trip ❜ ❛ do i have a crush or am i just idolizing this person for being vaguely nice to me? ❜ ❛ my parents were arguing today and my mom said that justin timberlake wouldn’t treat her like this ❜ ❛ kissing is hella rad but no one is kissing me so that makes me hella sad ❜ ❛ everyone’s having their mid-life crisis at like 19 ❜ ❛ there are just people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine ❜ ❛ dermatologists HATE me… everyone hates me. i’m so alone ❜ ❛ you know when you realize and you just… realize ❜ ❛ a girl can respect herself and still take booty pics wtf y’all talkin about ❜ ❛ i’m not badass i’m sadass i cry about everything ❜ ❛ inspired by animal crossing, i’ve started doing this thing where i mail my best friends a framed picture of myself and then never speak to them again ❜ ❛ i didn’t know double texting was such a big deal?? i have a lot to say ❜ ❛ can someone please just be proud of me like fuck i’m trying ❜ ❛ cosmo sex tip #367: when you’re in the mood, tell you partner ‘my spidey senses are tingling’ ❜
( you can find the other popular text posts memes on my old blog: 1, 2)
not the author of the first part, just so everyone knows. Since that
person hasn’t submitted more, and I’ve seen some people asking for it, I
decided to just… yknow, write my own. Here you go.
Your friend drives a bit erratically, speeding down the main road
through town and turning onto a side street as soon as he can. You saw
at least one more woman clutch at her gut as you guys drove by, but when
you turned back to look at her, she wasn’t bloating up like the others.
With trepidation your eyes steer
sideways at your buddy’s powerful arms latched onto the wheel.
Occasional muscle spasms cause his arms to ripple. Fuck, his hands look huge. He catches you looking at him, but you’re both used to that—everybody looks at him; he’s impossible to miss.
“What. The fuck. Was that?” he spits as he pulls to the side of the road.
“I don’t know man.” You press your lips together. “It was like… I
dunno. Something out of a movie. Or a shitty sitcom.”
“Were they fuckin’…” he covers his face with his hands. His fingers run back through his hair. “Were they all pregnant?”
“It looked like it. Y’see their tits?” you ask.
“Actually I was not looking at their giant boobies I am a gay faggot I hate boobies,” he monotones. “Of course I saw their fuckin’ tits.” He bumps a fist into your shoulder, rolling his eyes.
“Well we gotta get you home, get on the Internet, figure this shit
out,” you mutter. Your midriff swoops with the thrill of adrenaline.
“Spontaneous human reproduction.”
“You legit think it had something to do with me?” he asks. “Like… there’s not…”
You glower at him, causing his sentence to face. “There is like.
Literally. Nothing else. What else could’ve caused that?”
“Well how do you know it was fuckin’ ME though?” he snaps.
“Ok, fine, I don’t!” you shrug. “How else can you explain it though?
Buncha chicks just start blowing up pregnant, everywhere you go? As soon
as you get close to them?” A chill trickles through you. “What if like…
what if this happens everywhere you go? How are you gonna go anywhere?”
“I don’t know.” He slaps the steering wheel in frustration and starts
driving again. “Let’s just… we’ll go back to my place and figure this
The two of you keep exchanging suspicious,
nervous little glances as he drives. Your best bro is a horny
motherfucker for sure, all the time ‘accidentally’ displaying prominent
public boners to any nearby women who caused them. He bites his lower
lip; the tent in his shorts is brushing against the bottom of his
steering wheel. His beefy muscles have stopped growing but are still
making their presence very well known as each little movement causes a
tiny-but-audible creaking noise from the fabric of his protesting
You can almost smell his arousal.
He parks and the two of you sprint to his apartment building. He
punches his keycode in and leads the way past the lobby. Your heart
sinks and your gut clenches when you see another resident, a woman,
coming down the hallway towards you both.
friend mutters under his breath. You both rush up a set of stairs—it’s
not the way to his apartment, but it’s better than running straight into
her. You double back when she’s clear. He locks his front door when
you’re both safely inside.
He goes to the bathroom and
you head straight for his bedroom—his computer’s still on and you bring
up a search engine. The room contains a medley of scents, from cologne
to body odor and a deep underlying aroma of what can only be very
regular sex. The term “unexplained pregnancies” leads you to Planned
Parenthood and other medical-type sites, “rapid pregnancies” leads you
to bad fanfiction and fetish art and “sudden pregnancies” ends up on a
motherhood forum. Your chest and throat burn slightly when you let out a
small belch and swallow back some bile. You head back out to where you
dropped your gym bag and grab a drink of water.
you head back to his bedroom, he’s leaning over the computer chair
reading the results of your searches. He turns back to you, broad
shoulders hunched almost shamefully. “Dude what if it is me.”
“Ok look.” You put your hands up. “I’m not… I’m not gonna just blame
you, but like… where’s the precedent for this shit? Has anything like
this ever happened before?”
“Ok what if we tested it
out?” he asked. It’s startling to see such a large, confident guy like
him anxiously folding his arms and avoiding your gaze. “Like, uh… what
if we just… like, you spot for me, find a girl, and I’ll slowly get
closer, and then if she starts lookin’ pregnant, I’ll back off and we’ll
see what happens… yeah?”
“How about we, uh…” you burp
again. That nauseous feeling is back. Worse this time. You drink some
more water and force that burning feeling back down your esophagus. “How
His eyes lock onto you, wide and fearful. “Dude. Holy. Fucking. Shit. Dude.” His rippling arms hang limp at his sides.
You wince as a terrifying pressure immediately starts to bloom in your lower gut, like a gaseous cramp that refuses to leave. “Fuck!” you
grunt as you curl in on yourself. A substantial impact forces you to
violently thrust your hips forward, and if either of you were unsure
about it before, there’s no doubt that your normally flat, toned, MALE
abdomen is beginning to look downright plump.
You stare down at yourself in disbelief. Slowly you look up at your bro.
“… Did I get you pregnant?” he asks in a tiny, weak voice. His eyes do not leave your slightly-swollen belly.
You’re too stunned, too paralyzed with fear and shock, to even nod or
shake your head or open your mouth to answer. Instead, when your mouth
opens involuntarily, a burst of vomit falls out.
Normally he’d probably punch you for barfing on his floor. “Holy shit,” he whispers.
He snaps into action when you look like you’re about to hurl again, and
almost carries you into the bathroom as you dry-heave. You don’t make
it to the toilet, instead puking in the sink. He turns the faucet on to
wash away your vomit and then you head for the toilet. A few more dry
heaves and you seem to be empty, but you continue retching for about a
Finally you turn your head to stare at him.
“You’re. A dude.” His hands are clutching his temples incredulously.
“You’re not even a chick. You’re a dude. What. The fuck.” Every so
often, his normally smooth baritone cracks like a teenager.
You let out a slightly pained grunt as your stomach bloats forth about
another inch around. You hike your shirt up and stare down at yourself,
then at your reflection in the mirror over his sink. Your skin is
flushed and warm. You swallow. Your breaths come ragged and short.
He moves a little closer, on your left. You’re not even really looking
at him until you feel one of his big hands place itself on the side of
your bulging tummy.
Something seems to punch you from
the inside, and in seconds your belly bloats from “two months” to
“five.” It looks like a sports ball being filled by an automatic air
pump. You pride yourself on your strong, speedy legs, but they turn to
wet noodles at his touch, at the feel of your gut swelling months in
seconds, and you almost collapse. He wraps his arms around you and helps
keep you stable.
“I gotcha, I gotcha,” he whispers.
“I can’t. I can’t. How. Why,” you manage to squeak out. Your eyes jump from your stomach to your reflection’s.
“I dunno. Fuck I don’t. Know.”
Gently, he reaches around you—you are encircled in a wall of muscles
and an almost content, safe feeling blooms in your chest. But then he
places his hands on your bump again and you positively explode with
growth. The elastic waistband on your track pants folds down to get out
of the way. Your shirt stretches tight, then springs up away from your
bulging, burgeoning belly.
“FUCKING STOP, YOU’RE MAKING IT WORSE!” you snap at him, jerking away to get free.
His arms lock around you though, and pull you back, squeezing you to
his chest. There’s no escaping his powerful grasp—he outweighs you by
almost a hundred pounds—but it’s a gentle embrace and rather than
feeling angry or scared or pained with a new burst of growth… you feel
safe again. Something feels simply right about the whole
scenario. You don’t know why you moan when you feel him nuzzling the
side of your face, but you do—that noise definitely came out of your
mouth. The firm dome in front of you zings with a pleasurable sort of
jumbling as his hands begin to rub the smooth, tight surface. At the
small of your back, a rather stiff protrusion slides up your spine.
“What… are… you… doing…” you whimper.
“I don’t know. I don’t fuckin’ know.” The vibrations of his manly voice
rumble against your back. All around you are thick slabs of solid,
rippling strength, feverishly hot and sleek. One of his fingers hooks
into your waistband and slowly tugs your track pants down. He buries his
face in your hair and inhales.
When you look again into the mirror, your reflection’s eyes are sedate and unreadable.
They had travelled a whole lot. Noiz had wanted to offer Aoba anything he could possibly wish for; Aoba had wished for Noiz to experience and see as many new things as possible.
As they finally returned to their moderate flat in Germany something felt off. They both figured it was nothing unusual - after all, they had been on the go for almost a year. Being in the same place after that was bound to feel strange to them.
But even after weeks Germany failed to feel like home. Why? Aoba felt guilty. He had no problems getting settled there when Noiz brought him over the first time. Aoba tried to shake the feeling of restlessness off yet it wouldn’t give him peace.
He approached Noiz as he was about to let himself slump into the couch after taking of his coat and blazer after a long day’s work. The office always took its toll on him - too stiff, too busy.
Aoba took Noiz’ hand.
“Noiz… there’s something I need to ask you. Do you… do you like it here?”
Noiz’ brows came closer in a frown. “Like it here? Here… in Germany?”
“Yes…”, the other spoke softly and tugged on Noiz’ hand to have him sit on the couch with him.
“Ever since we’ve returned, things have felt… off. Don’t get me wrong! I like Germany!”, the man interrupted himself before continuing in a sullen voice.
“But I feel like… after seeing all those cities, all those countries… after being so free - I feel like we could both do better than this. I know you don’t enjoy being in the office. Before you say anything!” , Aoba stopped Noiz with a lifted hand since he was about to retort.
“Don’t… I know you do it for me. I know, and I’m very humbled and grateful and so so proud of you. But I want you to be happy. I want you to be more carefree and not stuck in an office you don’t like wearing a suit all the time which you hate because it reminds you of your parents’ home. I wish to see you the way you were when we travelled. Enjoying life and being young, the way it’s supposed to be!”
“Also…”, Aoba lowered his head and inspected Noiz’ hand in his carefully.
“Also, I feel caged here. I don’t like it. It’s not because my German still isn’t the best. I just… I can’t shake the feeling that I’d rather be somewhere else.”
Aoba grabbed the other’s hand firmly in the both of his and brought his gaze filled with determination to his boyfriend.
“Noiz. Will you come to Japan with me? Not Midorijima. I’m actually not entirely sure where. Maybe Tokyo - the tech scene was quiet something there, remember?” Aoba smiled fondly.
“But anywhere is fine, really. I have a feeling Japan is that place that’s been calling me back. Us back. I mean… Noiz, would you? Leave Germany with me, I mean?”
Noiz eyes’ had widened in surprise. But he quickly shook it off and gave a breath of relief instead. He moved the hand not occupied in Aoba’s and brought it to the other’s cheek caressing it gently.
“So it hadn’t just been me. You have no idea how glad I am you asked. I’ve been making arrangements with Theo to act as an abroad correspondent for the past weeks. Of course, if you had said you wanted to stay here, I would stay with you. But…”
He grabbed one of Aoba’s hands and kissed his knuckles, looked up at him and smiled.
“You never cease to surprise me, Aoba. Yes, let’s go to Japan. Let’s go home.”
Aoba mirrored the other’s loving expression. He kissed Noiz briefly, then hugged him close.
Hi there! Could you recommend some good Voltron fics?
Oh gosh uhhhh, so first up, some ‘disclaimers’: I’m gonna be honest I have only read klance things, so if that’s not your cup of tea then I won’t be any help to you :’) I also tend to avoid reading fics shorter than 1k words simply as a personal preference, so I’ve probably missed a lot of nice drabbles. Naturally some of these fics are going to be heavy on the spoilers bc Season 1 is over. I’ve also read way too many things in the past week alone, usually at like 3 in the morning, so I can’t remember which ones are nsfw without rereading all of them, so please check the archive warnings and fic summaries to make sure you’re gonna be okay with the fic contents. Cool beans.
These are all fics I have bookmarked on my phone so I don’t remember all the exact details, but this is what I remember of them:
Stormchasingby sinelanguage – keith and lance find space pirates and then have to try and get out of a shitfiesta together, it’s just a really fun read the whole way where they slowly trust each other and compromise and work together and you should read it
A Fish and a Bird by Methoxyethane – this is like straight up adorable with all the character interactions, but also lance doesn’t realize for ages that he kinda-accidentally-asked-keith-out and has a space boyfriend, and it’s funny bc we know he did
A Quarter Past Midnight by Gigapoodle– [warnings: fic features some transphobic characters, internalized transphobia, unintentional misgendering] – i am a sucker for angst but im also a sap for happy endings, but this is a character study of sorts for trans!keith that made me cry at like 4am i cry easily ok
you’re so sweet; will you be mine? by jojotxt – they’re rival bakers and they passive-aggressively send each other desserts with notes to flirt / one-up each other and it features lance yelling hysterically and angrily in spanish bc he’s bad at feelings, 11/10
Thunderstruckby xShieru – lance is so obviously crushing on keith and then takes him to a space prom
Color Me Intrigued by dreamcp – lance likes to sketch, and realizes he has a crush on keith after he keeps drawing him :^)
Voltron Kitchen by caecily – cutthroat kitchen au i shit you not, this was super entertaining to read, and also a fkn hilarious use of the “i cradled you in my arms!” quote
In English, Please by princevince – lance is bad at feelings and starts ‘insulting’ keith in spanish, so keith gets annoyed and asks pidge to make a translator, and it turns out lance was flirting oops
twelve feet deepby starspecters – something adorable with keith and lance getting together
Waltz by wolfgun – modern au where lance asks keith for a dance at hunk and shay’s wedding
you, me, and UST by andreaphobia – lance Cannot Handle the fact that keith is hot and does stupid shit like yell about keith smelling like flowers, it’s hilarious
A for Effort by amcw177 – it’s like through spacedad’s pov but it’s hilarious watching the voltron crew try and get keith and lance to date bc they are so bad at matchmaking
there was a fic called you have received entirely, entirely by loveghost but i think they deleted it, that was a beautiful one-shot though and i’ll miss it very much, mild regret that i didn’t reread it another time before it was gone 8′) if it ever returns you should read it!!
Dirty Laundryby Gibslythe – fake relationship fics are my reason for living and with that out of the way, lance brings keith home for christmas as his fake boyfriend, and i just adore the character interactions in this and how the author created lance’s family, also it’s funny as shit in some moments and really goddamn adorable at others, i can’t wait for more
What a Healing Pod Can’t Repairby Remember_Me – one of the fics i will literally catapult out of bed to read if there is an update, mostly bc i enjoy Suffering, and this has like Quality Angst; one of the chapters details what lance is up to and like i stg my heart straightup dies bc it’s so fkn sad and it’s great, i need to know what happens next please join me in this hell
Orbitby RainIsMyFavouriteColour – lance gets into barfight bc people were insulting keith, and according to the summary shit’s gonna hit the fan eventually, so i am waiting for more plot and you should suffer with me anon
Drive!by wolfgun – they’re like high school age or something, keith leaps into lance’s car at a gas station to avoid being beat up by some hooligans, and then keith gets to stay at lance’s house for a while, and idk how to explain this but it was fun to read ok
One New Messageby mikuridaigo – there’s only one chapter at the moment but the idea of lance and keith accidentally hooking up and becoming friends via grindr amuses the shit out of me, and i can’t wait to see what happens next
and ok this list got kinda long (there are actually even more fics that i’ve read and enjoyed but i didn’t have them bookmarked and didn’t want to trawl through all of ao3 again), i hope this helps???
Man john left that sign up there an awfully long time. His house is also unchanged and dark. Has he been going outside at all? Is he shutting himself off? Like I know we’re all hanging onto our favorite characters and shit but I want to know if he’s ok. What happened with him and Roxy was he too hung up about everything for things to work out? He still seems sad about his dad.