shit id be gone

  • n: what the hell ken i told you to watch my stuff, my bag and jacket are gone, what have you been doing for the past 2 hours?
  • ken: what do you mean, leo hasnt moved an inch since you left?
  • n: ken someone stole my wallet and passport
  • ken: that doesnt sound like a thank you to me i mean leo tried to go to get coffee like 3 times and i stopped him by sitting on him for 2 hours. youre welcome, you ungrateful jerk
  • n:
  • n: i have never wanted to hurt someone as much as i want to hurt you right now

anonymous asked:

Hey dave what would you do if john just randomly kissed you? Like you guys were playing video games or something and he just leaned over, kissed you, then pretended it was normal

DAVE: john randomly kissing me


DAVE: oh god the odds of that happening are so fucking slim but id probably just curl up in a ball and let him win whatever shit game were playing because holy fuck id have died and gone to heaven

DAVE: heavenly chorus and all that shit i will ascend to my god tier early

DAVE: and fuck off im not blushing i just suddenly caught a rare sudden fever