shit hockey players say

Charlie McAcoy - Off Ice Penalties

“Could u write a charlie mcavoy imagine?? Maybe where he gets into a fight when someone started talking shit about him and he gets a nosebleed/black eye so you have to take care of him?? Thanks😊😊” @mcavoythedoughboy
Word count: 601
Warnings: cussing, discussion of fighting
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You are waiting at home while Charlie is out with the boys celebrating the win of their first playoff game. Most of the men were drinking so you know Charlie will be safe as their designated driver and don’t mind a little alone time after watching your first live playoff game. the boys did phenomenal and you were glad to give his time to live in the glory of a win with his team.
It’s now around midnight as you’re in your pajamas curled up on the couch while watching Netflix. You can hear heavy footsteps outside your door before David Pastrnak fumbles into the apartment with your boyfriend’s arm slung around his shoulder for support.
“What happened?!” You yell as you rush to your boyfriend who has blood running down his face. His right eye is a mixture of dark colors and he just has a grin on his face as if it’s not that bad.
“Eh, he got a fight at the bar.” David said with a shrug. You make Charlie sit down on on the couch while you search for first aid supplies and ice packs.
“A fight?? My underage boyfriend got into a bar fight?” You yell from the kitchen.
“You should see the other guy!” Charlie yells at you.
David then walks into the kitchen to help you find what you’re looking for. “The other guy looks the same,” he whispers, “ no one really won.”
You gather up what you were looking for and take it into the living room to start fixing up Charlie.
“Babe, seriously? A bar fight? What could you have possibly gotten into a fight over while off the ice?” You ask him as you clean his bloody nose with q-tips and apply an ice pack to his eye.
“Some asshole told me I was a shit player. Then he swung for me saying a real hockey player could stop a fist. So I swung back and here I am.” Charlie told as if it was a logical thing to get in a bar fight with absolutely anyone if they questioned your ability in your career path.
David now has a arm full of snack foods and plopped himself down on the recliner next to you and Charlie.
“It was actually quite impressive to watch.” David said with a mouthful of cheez its.
“Thank you, David. Just what I wanted to hear.” You rolled your eyes.
You check on Charlie’s eye by pulling the ice pack off his face.
“Does that feel like it’s helping at all?” You ask him. He nods.
“Do you think you have bruising anywhere else?” You start to search his body.
“No,” he laughs, “only damaged my face. Which is a bummer since it’s all I got going for me. Seeing as, well, I’m apparently shit at hockey.” You roll your eyes at him then gesture him to get up.
“Hey, David, thanks for bringing him back. I don’t mind if you crash on the couch but I’m going to put Charlie to bed.” You say as you lead Charlie away and into the bed room.
You lay down under the covers and encourage Charlie to do the same. He’s holding the ice pack over his eye and he crawls on top of you and rests his body against yours.
“Thanks for taking care of me. Sorry I got in a fight at a bar.” He mumbles.
“Next time, just keep it on the ice. Please, Charlie?” You slightly beg of him, placing a kiss on his forehead.
He gives you a playful grin, “ I promise.”

Originally posted by werenski

Ransom & Holster As Vloggers

•after hearing about how much bitty liked to vlog, r&h started a joint youtube channel

•Hockey Shit w/ Ransom & Holster is a series they have on there

•they make videos like “Things Hockey Players Say” and “Shit Hockey Fans Do”

•they endlessly prank people in the haus and eachother
•(but mostly they prank the lax team)

•they make those super cheesy team roadie montages

•a series in which they go up to groups of people on campus and shout “JACK ZIMMERMANNS ASS”
•(the basketball team all started clapping)

•ransom does little “ootd” videos & one time in the background of the video holster threw his salmon shorts out the window

•r&h have a series where they show jack celebrities and ask him who they are

(feel free to add more:)!)

youtube

this is the most accurate thing ive ever seen

  • hockey player: *gives uncontroversial interview*
  • hockey media & fans: HE'S A ROBOT AND DOESN'T SHOW ANY EMOTION THEY'RE ALL BORING WITH NO PERSONALITY
  • hockey player: *gives controversial but real interview explaining how they are treated unfairly by a team or the media and the negative emotions that come along with that*
  • hockey media & fans: DISRESPECTFUL! HE SHOULD BE HAPPY TO PLAY FOR ANY TEAM IN THE NHL. YOU HAVE TO SUPPORT THE TEAM YOU PLAY FOR EVEN IF THEY TREAT YOU LIEK ABSOLUTE SHIT YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT.
  • hockey player: *says he wants to leave team*
  • hockey media & fans: :((( why does he want to go, we've only been nice to him. we treated him so well.