shit has this one been done before if it has i'm sorry

anonymous asked:

I'm not one of those who blames Harry for what is happening rn, but man, I'm side eyeing the fuck out of Jeff. I dont know what restrictions Harry still has and all that, but this is some terrible shit tbh. Like, all these rumours about premiering his music before Dunkirk... that would be terrible!!! It would so undermine and overshadow his role in Dunkirk. Terrible business decision. And now the timing of this registration... it couldnt be worst tbh. I really hope Jeff knows what he's doing

I agree with you, and also, I’m going to go on a bit of a rant because I can’t not. I just honestly think everything related to Harry’s solo career is absurd right now. Harry has been almost entirely cut off from the fandom pretty much since hiatus began. I think that’s fine, and honestly, and I know we’ve all missed him, but I think Harry (possibly even more than the others) needed that time to himself. I think it gave him time to recover from such a tough schedule with One Direction, I think it gave him a break from the fan service and BS that really seemed to have burned him out, and it gave him time to focus on Dunkirk, which was obviously something outside of his comfort zone that required his full concentration. But Jesus Christ, man. This is beyond ridiculous at this point.

We’ve gotten countless media sources, celebrities, and others in the industry talking about his debut album. And because he’s not talking, all of these people and sources are talking FOR him - and we don’t even know which of the things they’re saying are correct and which are completely false. And blah blah blah yeah, obviously the media is gonna talk about solo Harry regardless, but you’re lying to yourself if you think that his team couldn’t have shut up some of the people who have run their mouths about solo Harry at this point. And if the media is going to always make claims about his future music, both true and false, why wouldn’t he just speak for himself? Why wouldn’t his team speak for him? Why have they allowed this to happen for so fucking long? And don’t even give me that bullshit about oh, they just want to keep anticipation up - because at this point, that tactic doesn’t even make sense. I honestly don’t even know how solo Harries are alive right now considering they get hyped up for his music every two days based on what so-and-so said to the media. It’s fucking EXHAUSTING and it eventually burns people out to be constantly disappointed when they’re promised that something is about to happen and then it doesn’t. I’ve seen a lot of burnout in this fandom in the last week alone on the solo Harry front, and that’s so sad to see because things could have been so different.

If they’re gonna have a dude from Columbia come out here and tell me that an album is nearly done, and then have Grimmy say he was about to hear the album, and then have a touring company registered like a tour is gonna be in the works sometime soon when they haven’t said jack shit about ANYTHING, that’s beyond frustrating to me. You don’t have to give every fucking detail but god, not even a confirmation that the album is coming? NOTHING. Nothing at all.

Louis kept up fan service pretty consistently last year and eventually dropped music. Liam posts updates about his album progress to his social media, and yeah, his album still isn’t out, but there also haven’t been fifty people saying to the press every four days that it’s almost done. Niall was active on social media and kept up fan service last year before dropping his single as a surprise. Harry has done none of that, and I’m not saying that Harry has to do it the way the other boys did, but this is….really yikes. I don’t understand what the fuck his team is playing at, I really don’t. I know that Harry is the most famous in the band and I know that his music is the most anticipated, but he is not some untouchable artist with a shitload of street cred where his album is guaranteed to top at number one. I know this fandom might want to think that’s the case, but it isn’t. He is not Beyonce with numerous successful albums and decades in the industry. He has never put out solo music, and not only that, but we don’t have even the vaguest clue as to what his solo music would SOUND like at this point because again, we’ve heard nothing from his team.

The way this is being executed screams lazy and arrogant to me, and Harry is neither of those things, so I want to know what the deal is. To have this buildup for over a year with everyone else talking about it except for the people whose voices count the most and just expecting fans to be there, still waiting and ready and foaming at the mouth whenever you choose to drop music even though you never bothered to say anything about it….that doesn’t rub me the right way at all, I’m sorry. And listen, knowing this fandom and how much solo Harries have stayed pumped, it might work for them, it, but god, that is just….I don’t understand how people can respect that method of doing things. Us, the fans, as future consumers of his music, as the people who ensured that Harry is in the position he’s in today, deserve better than this. I know that fandom entitlement is a thing and we don’t deserve a lot of things that we think we deserve, but are people really gonna try to act like having confirmation of an album from Harry or his team is asking too much? Wanting some respect, and some clarity, and some basic fucking facts (for example: Are you coming out with an album? When is it coming out?) for Harry’s FIRST SOLO ALBUM EVER after over a year of almost complete silence from him (and silence about his future plans long before that) is perfectly reasonable, especially considering how much we’ve been jerked around about Harry’s solo career for like five years now, and quite frankly, anyone trying to suggest otherwise is fooling themselves. Harry’s team may not be able to control everything the media or other artists do or say about solo Harry, but they can (or at least, you would think they would be able to) control their own behavior, and at least so far, it seems like they’re just letting everybody else do the work for them (and do it messily at that, considering how many lies and ridiculous speculation has been published and passed around over the past year or so).

I’m just really frustrated because I don’t understand why his team is doing this and why they’re giving this impression of not knowing what they’re doing (e.g. the Full Stop website) or just not caring (e.g. [the metric for success] “is just existing”). With a lot of the Louis bullshit, even without knowing the exact details of what’s going on, you can usually figure out quite quickly that a) they’re actively trying to fuck him over and b) why they’re actively trying to fuck him over. The involvement of the stunts tainting everything Louis does also makes the intentions of his team clear (though no less infuriating). But this stuff with Harry? I don’t understand it and can’t even begin to imagine why things are being done this way. I don’t think it’s fair to the fans and I think it’s doing a huge disservice to Harry, his music, and if the rumors about when he’s dropping the music are correct, his acting career. I just really, really hope that there’s a huge change soon because I’m really cringing at what I’m seeing so far. I wish I understood any of this, but I don’t and watching it all happen is exhausting.

Alright, some of my word vomit is out. If people disagree with me, that’s fine, but this is my opinion. And no, I don’t think negatively of Harry or anything like that, I’m just not pleased with how things are being handled by his team (just as I’m not pleased with how Louis’ team is doing things) and I need to voice that.

plisetsky answered:

Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky

2.3K

In which Yuri finds out that Otabek has a tumblr. 

AO3 link


We recently found out that Otabek is “well versed in all kinds of social media” and I am SHOOK. Somewhat inspired by the ask that altisetsky replied to, here’s the fic that no one asked for, but you’re all getting anyway.

cc: @otayuriwriterscollective


He doesn’t mean to pry.

Really, he doesn’t. But Otabek’s left his laptop open on the kitchen counter and it’s unlocked. Otabek is in the shower, so Yuri won’t be disturbed. It’s not like he’s going to go through his personal files or anything, but that’s unmistakably a tumblr dashboard, and Yuri is intrigued. The thought of Otabek having a tumblr is almost of ludicrous as Otabek DJing in his spare time, and – well. Now everyone and their mother has Otabek’s tracks downloaded on their Spotify or iTunes.

So he crosses the room and investigates.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

ok everyone is constantly on about neil and allison and neil and matt but WHERE are my discussions on neil and kevin?? don't even TRY and tell me they're not lowkey besties

OH MY FUCKING GOD MY GUY,,, DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED i wrote a whole fucking essay on neil and kevin trying to get into the extra josten squad i’m never ok. anyway even tho i said don’t get me started,,,, im getting started

OK. LIKE. their relationship is so fucky to start with. neil looks at kevin and sees everything he could have had. he’s just… jealous in a lot of ways. but it takes him like 0 time to realise that actually, kevin’s life has been pretty shit, and he’s IMMEDIATELY protective of kevin. like,, he’s so pissed off at kevin for pressuring him into being on kathy’s show but he totally gets where he’s coming from and as soon as riko starts being an asshat he’s just like “you know what? my life isn’t worth anything. i’ll give it up for kevin. no question.” no doubt, he’s a ride or die motherfucker and he gives it all up for kevin

LOOK AT THIS!!! THIS ISN’T BC OF A DEAL OR SOMETHING!! NEIL’S JUST LIKE. NO. WE’RE ON THE SAME TEAM. #FUCKRIKO2K17 

he doesn’t even last two pages and then he’s just. so fucking pissed he literally can’t even let riko talk anymore. what kind of a gem

oh my god and this is just like… the start. this is the first book. this is pretty much the first time neil shows any type of care for anything except surviving this year. he was gonna run away before he even saw riko, and here riko’s not looking at him and he paints a target on his back for kevin??? i love him

alright and that’s not all. it’s not just neil adopting kevin. kevin straight up adopts that boy too. he loves neil for his exy, and he’s certain he’ll make court, but do you see him inviting anyone else to practice at night? nope. AND AS SOON AS KEVIN FINDS OUT THAT NEIL IS NATHANIEL HE DOES THE SAME THING he doesn’t defy riko or smth not yet but

HE STRAIGHT UP ADOPTS NEIL RIGHT BACK!!! and i dont even have to show u guys this quote its the fucking apex of their relationship-

OH MY GODDDDD he believes so much in neil!!!! he’s so fucking upset that neil can’t have a future. he wants that for our boy as much as we do; like nothing else that has happened has hurt kevin that much. 

and they see themselves in each other. they SEE that they’re basically just alternate timelines of each other - that one small difference could have made either one of them into the other

a BUNCH of their compassion for each other comes because they know what they’re looking at. they’re looking at themselves, if there had been one small change in their lives. and both of them know that it wouldn’t have been good either way - both routes were torture in different ways. kevin has a future, but the moriyamas will always be hanging over them; neil was free for a while, but it won’t last. they KNOW that for each other and that fuels them. there’s a bond there that just can’t be ignored ok??

ALSO. LETS NOT FORGET. KEVIN OFFERED TO NOT DRINK FOR NEIL! JUST IF NEIL WANTED TO DRINK!!

even nicky comments like “kevin has CLEARLY just done something nice for neil but kevin’s a BRAT” like. kevin cares so fucking much,, he’s like “you know what? if i were in neil’s shoes i would already be fucking wasted. idk if it will help but if he wants to he should be able to. i got u, bro.” what a BOY. i love him they’re the best friends

and okay if anyone needs more- i swear i’m wrapping this post up - when neil thinks about his future, he sees andrew. obviously. BUT HE ALSO SEES KEVIN THERE.

they’re straight up best friends and brothers and i fucking love them

and as a last point, this is extra content instead of book-canon, but

NEIL IS AS IMPORTANT TO KEVIN AS THEA IS. MIKE DROPPED. MY BOYS.

Fanfic idea. Langst & Shance

-Lance is palaDONE™
-homie just isn’t havin it anymore
-Kieth comes around talking shit?
-Pidge starts snapping/name callin/general rudness?
-Shiro being an asshole and yelling at Lance when it wasn’t his fault bc God forbid Kieth or Pidge fuck up?
-Allura screamin at lance after a failed training simulation where someone else messes up?
-Hunk not defending his bro after everyone beats lance down?
-Coran is too pure. He’s like Lance’s father. Coran tries to get everyone off his case
-bless him.

-He is done with putting up with everyone coming after his wig
-Lotor singles lance out and comes around playing on Lance’s insecurities
-“They don’t value you. Come with me, I’ll show you your true worth.”
-Lotor gives him a week to decide

-that entire week has been shit.
-everyone has ragged on him.
-Pidge is snappy BC they aren’t any closer to finding their father or brother
-Kieth has been snappy. BC he’s like that
-Shiro has been strict lately, all for the “good of Voltron”. He singles out lance even when it isn’t his fault
-Allura is a slave driver, recently lance has been the one doing all the work
-Hunk hasn’t help Lance at all, there has been no interaction between the two
-Coran has been shielding Lance away from the abuse,, being a great dad
-One day after a galra attack and he’s receiving lectures from everyone Lance staright up snaps.

-he starts crying, just silent tears,, everyone is shook
-BC lance is always smiles and stupidity
-lance starts ranting about how shit everyone has been to him
-he goes off with straight facts about how they’ve been blaming him for their issues and everyone is shocked BC what?? We wouldn’t do such a thing??
-Coran stands by Lance and pulls up videos
-everyone is shook BC they are really shit people
-Lance just stands there on tears.
-he confesses abt Lotor’s offer
-“maybe I should leave, maybe someone will actually care about me and value me.”
-everyone is shocked BC have they pushed their blue paladin that far he’s willing to join the enemy??

-Lance runs out and biolocks his room, not even Allura can bypass the biolock
-he doesn’t leave for five days until there’s a battle call,, he’s been stashing food in his room for months
-there’s a mountain of pillows and blankets outside his door? The pillows have tear streaks? Pidge’s half worked motherboard is by a green pillow, Keith’s crossword puzzle book is on the other side of the hall beside a red pillow, Hunk’s recipe journal is opened to a page titled “Lance’s comfort” on top a grey blanket, all of which is full of memorized recipes, Allura’s tablet is by a pastel pink blanket by Pidge’s setup, Shiro’s is right in front of Lance’s door, who almost ate shit bc he tripped on Shiro’s black duvet.
-Lance is touched but he isn’t ready to forgive just yet.

-everyone is in the hangar waiting for him, their eyes are red, they look shitty
-Lance just looks at them before getting in blue
-Shit its Lotor
-he only came to get Lance’s response
-this bitch broadcasts through the main channel, every paladin can see.
-“its been a week my dear, have you realized they don’t care for you?”
-There’s silence from Lance

-Hunk is the one to break first, he starts to sob and beg for Lance’s forgiveness, that he’s sorry he’s a shitty friend and an even shittier person, Pidge is next; they start sobbing into the com about how they can’t lose another family member to the galra and how sorry they are.
-Keith’s voice is low, but heavy with sorrow and apologies. He wants lance to be happy, and if that means to go with Lotor he should go. Allura cries softly, like a kitten, her grief saturates her voice, the sorrow and remorse is palpable
-Shiro’s voice starts off strong, no wavering, no emotion. Until he starts about how he loves Lance romantically,, his voice cracks and there’s sobbing
-everyone is sobbing

-Lance feels horrible bc he did this. He brought them all to tears bc he had a fit.
-“Forgive me prince loltor, I can’t take your offer. I’m sure there is someone else willing to be your concubine”

-Lotor coencedes and leaves them, “expect a battle next time.”
-Silence on the coms
-they’re back in the hangar
-lance apologizes “for throwing a fit like a pendejo estropeado” (a spolit idiot)
-everyone else denies Lance’s apology bc it’s their fault
-everyone hugs the shit out of lance, his shirt is soaking wet with tears and snot
-Shiro kisses his forehead and begs for a chance to take lance out

-lance is wary but accepts apologies and agrees for the date

-everyone retires to Lance’s room for a cuddle puddle and team bonding

-Shiro and Lance’s date is successful,, they’ve hit it off and are too damn sappy

-no crosses paths with Lance bc his new motto is “talk shit get hit”
-only valid when you’re being a right dick to him.

-Coran has been standing off at the side lines offering his input for Lance, he will be the best “padre” this boy will ever have. Coran also gives everyone, even Allura, the shovel talk about trashing his unofficial son/fav paladin

-Coran will put the through the ringer and toss them into the open airlock
-mess with the space-father and you’ll be a victim of the space-slaughter

  • you: What the fuck why is this in court, he obviously didn't do shit and the white bitch a hoe with a crazy bitch ass father, y'all are just racist af, let the man go #BlackLivesMtter
  • Atticus, an intellectual: To begin with, this case should never have come to trial. The state has not produced one iota of medical evidence that the crime Tom Robinson is charged with ever took place... It has relied instead upon the testimony of two witnesses, whose evidence has not only been called into serious question on cross-examination, but has been flatly contradicted by the defendant. Now, there is circumstantial evidence to indicate that Mayella Ewel was beaten - savagely, by someone who led exclusively with his left. And Tom Robinson now sits before you having taken the oath with the only good hand he possesses... his RIGHT. I have nothing but pity in my heart for the chief witness for the State. She is the victim of cruel poverty and ignorance. But my pity does not extend so far as to her putting a man's life at stake, which she has done in an effort to get rid of her own guilt. Now I say "guilt," gentlemen, because it was guilt that motivated her. She's committed no crime - she has merely broken a rigid and time-honored code of our society, a code so severe that whoever breaks it is hounded from our midst as unfit to live with. She must destroy the evidence of her offense. But what was the evidence of her offense? Tom Robinson, a human being. She must put Tom Robinson away from her. Tom Robinson was to her a daily reminder of what she did. Now, what did she do? She tempted a Negro. She was white, and she tempted a Negro. She did something that, in our society, is unspeakable. She kissed a black man. Not an old uncle, but a strong, young Negro man. No code mattered to her before she broke it, but it came crashing down on her afterwards. The witnesses for the State, with the exception of the sheriff of Maycomb County have presented themselves to you gentlemen, to this court in the cynical confidence that their testimony would not be doubted, confident that you gentlemen would go along with them on the assumption... the evil assumption that all Negroes lie, all Negroes are basically immoral beings, all Negro men are not to be trusted around our women. An assumption that one associates with minds of their caliber, and which is, in itself, gentlemen, a lie, which I do not need to point out to you. And so, a quiet, humble, respectable Negro, who has had the unmitigated TEMERITY to feel sorry for a white woman, has had to put his word against TWO white people's! The defendant is not guilty - but somebody in this courtroom is. Now, gentlemen, in this country, our courts are the great levelers. In our courts, all men are created equal. I'm no idealist to believe firmly in the integrity of our courts and of our jury system - that's no ideal to me. That is a living, working reality! Now I am confident that you gentlemen will review, without passion, the evidence that you have heard, come to a decision and restore this man to his family. In the name of GOD, do your duty. In the name of God, believe... Tom Robinson.
How to say ‘’You’re stupid’’ in Serbian -  a guide by me

Originally posted by xenaandjonesgiflibrary

Note: before we start I need to mention that these are not strictly used to say ‘’you’re stupid’’. Some of them may be used when someone’s simply talking shit. 

*Also, some people may take these as a joke, some may be offended. You never know. 

1. Лупаш као Максим по дивизији. (Lupaš kao Maksim po diviziji.)

  • Translation: You’re banging like Maxim on division. 
  • Explanation: There are two stories about the origin of this phrase. The first one’s stating that during WWI there was some guy named Maxim who was firing lots of shots but with little or no effect, therefore this phrase is used to describe a person who says a lot of stupid shit. The second (and more reasonable) story says that Maxim we’re talking about here is either Hiram Maxim, the inventor of the first portable, fully automatic machine gun, or the gun itself (called the Maxim gun). Either way, it’s about firing lots of words shots, often with no effect. 

2. Лупаш као отворен прозор. (Lupaš kao otvoren prozor.)

  • Translation: You’re banging like an open window. 
  • Explanation: Well, there’s not much to say about this one, but its meaning can be connected with famous promaja (draft / draught). The air that is flowing between two open windows (or doors) is making windows open and close constantly (it’s usually about the casement window) and they make the banging noise. So that’s it. 

3. Кад лупиш ни Дунав не може да те опере. (Kad lupiš ni Dunav ne može da te opere.) 

  • Translation: When you say something even the Danube can’t wash you up.
  • Explanation: I think this one’s pretty clear, the Danube is a huge river, you must have said lots of shit if even that amount of water can’t wash you up. 

4. Немој да једеш говна кад ти је бурек јефтинији. (Nemoj da jedeš govna kad ti je burek jeftiniji.)

  • Translation: Don’t eat shit when burek is cheaper. 
  • Explanation: The only thing that (maybe) needs to be explained here is burek. Burek is a pastry made from layers of dough, alternating with layers of other fillings in a circular baking pan and then topped with a last layer of dough (at least that’s how we make it in Serbia. It’s a bit different in other countries). 
  • Note: Burek was cheap at the time someone came up with this phrase. The price’s been increasing so now you actually have an excuse for eating shit instead of burek.

5. Јеси ти глуп(a) или ти ноге смрде? (Jesi ti glup(a) ili ti noge smrde?) 

  • Translation: Are you stupid or your feet smell? 
  • Explanation: Oh this is just you assuming that your interlocutor maybe isn’t really stupid (who are you to judge, right?), maybe it’s just smell of their feet clouding their mind
  • Note: This one is not that often heard nowadays, but it used to be really popular 3-4 years ago. It was worth mentioning tho. 
  • Note #2: The ‘a’ in the brackets indicates feminine gender, ‘’glup’’ is for a male person, ‘’glupa’’ for a female (there’s also neuter gender but you’ll rarely use that one when talking to someone) 

6. Глуп(а) си као точак. (Glup(a) si kao točak.) 

  • Translation: You’re as stupid as a wheel.
  • Explanation: I’m not quite sure about this one, but I believe it’s because a wheel can only perform one action, and even that does not depend on it, it’s just how the thing goes. 
  • Note: This phrase may be extended, so you’ll often hear someone say ‘’Глуп си као точак, да извине бицикл.’’ (Glup si kao točak, da izvine bicikl) - you’re as stupid as a wheel, my apologies to the bike
  • Note #2: Again the same thing for ‘’glup’’ and ‘’glupa’’.

7. Глуп(а) си као ноћ. (Glup(a) si kao noć.)

  • Translation: You’re as stupid as night. 
  • Explanation: Well there’s no logical explanation for this one except the fact that night used to be stupid and boring before the discovery of electricity. 

8. Јеси ти глуп(а) или ти дупе стоји накриво? (Jesi ti glup(a) ili ti dupe stoji nakrivo?) 

  • Translation: Are you stupid or your ass is askew? 
  • Explanation: I… really don’t know… 

9. Јесу теби чавке попиле мозак? (Jesu tebi čavke popile mozak?)

  • Translation: Did jackdaws drink your brain? 
  • Explanation: Not much to be explained tbh, the point is - your brain’s missing. 

10. Ти ниси баш у винклу. (Ti nisi baš u vinklu.)

  • Translation: You’re not in a vinkl. 
  • Explanation: I don’t know how I’d translate ‘’vinkl’’ but I can try to explain it. ‘’Vinkl’’ comes from german ‘’winkel’’ (angle). Vinkl is a term we use for angle ruler. So when you tell someone they’re not ‘’in a vinkl’’ that means they don’t equal  90°, or, to put it simply - they’re not normal. Wow, that was one hell of an explanation and you’re probably even more confused now. Sorry. Feel free to ask anything you want to know :) 

11. Јел је тебе бабица испустила на главу кад си био мали / кад си била мала? (Jel je tebe babica ispustila na glavu kad si bio mali / kad si bila mala?) 

  • Translation: Did a midwife drop you on your head when you were little? 
  • Explanation: I think this one’s pretty clear. You’re stupid. Period. 
  • Note: ‘’Kad si bio mali’’ - for a male person, ‘’Kad si bila mala’’ for a female

12. Јеси јео / јела бунике? (Jesi jeo / jela bunike?)

  • Translation: Did you eat henbane? 
  • Explanation: ‘’What on earth is making you act (or say something) like that?’’ Yea, that’s pretty much it. 
  • Note: ‘’jeo’’ - masculine; ‘’jela’’ - feminine

13. Ти си недограђен(a) као шапински дом. (Ti si nedograđen(a) kao šapinski dom.)

  • Translation: You’re unfinished like Šapine’s Cultural Center. 
  • Explanation: Oh boy, this needs a longer explanation. First of all, I have to say that this is not used everywhere in Serbia, it’s a regionalism. You can hear it only in my region. Šapine is a village (near my town, that’s why we’re using this phrase), and it’s kinda famous for its Cultural Center which has been being built for years, but it’s still half-done. So by saying this you’re practically saying that someone’s, well, retarded.
  • Note: Word ‘’nedograđen’’ has this ‘’građen’’(built) part which indicates that it’s about a building, while english ‘’unfinished’’ can be used for other things as well.
  • Note #2: ‘’Nedograđen’’ - masculine, ‘’nedograđena’’ - faminine 

14. Теби фали нека даска у глави. (Tebi fali neka daska u glavi.)

  • Translation: You’re missing a plank in your head
  • Explanation: Again used to point out that someone’s brain is not a whole it should be. 

15. Кад је бог делио памет и бистроумност ти си био / ти си била испод 55 јоргана. (Kad je bog delio pamet i bistroumnost ti si bio / ti si bila ispod 55 jorgana.) 

  • Translation: When God was giving away intelligence and wisdom you were (hiding) under 55 quilts. 
  • Explanation: You missed the giveaway bro. Sorry. It’s not your fault. 
  • Note: ‘’Ti si bio’’ - masculine, ‘’ti si bila’’ - feminine 
when the words weigh heavy on the heart

posting them in parts bc this is taking longer than i thought and i’m trash

u could potentially?? consider?? this a five times fic

also turns out this is going to be in the sleepwalking verse ;) enjoy ;)

part one

She’s irritated the first time it happens.

He can see it in her face, in the scrunch of her nose and the creases between her brows. He’s only known her a month but already he knows he doesn’t want to be on the receiving end of that look, doesn’t want to be the one strapping her down to that gurney or trying to find the vein in the crease of her elbow. Three separate rivulets of blood forge their own individual paths down the left side of her face and she swipes at them with a strangely absent kind of force, like she’s brushing away a gnat instead of smearing a dark red mark along the side of her face. Her nostrils are flared and there’s fire in her eyes and her jaw is set and really, truthfully, Amy Santiago is a terrifying force to look at.

Even if she is being loaded into the back of an ambulance.

Keep reading

The Chamber of Secrets, a summary
  • Dobby: Harry Potter must not go to Hogwarts!
  • Harry: The fuck are you Hogwarts4lyfe
  • Dobby: *Pudding crashes and burns worse than Snape's love life*
  • Uncle Vernon: HARRY DIDJA PUT YER NAME IN THE GOBLET AHV FYA- I mean *clears throat* NO FOOD FOR YOU BITCH WELCOME TO CONCENTRATION CAMP DURSLEY
  • Harry: fuck
  • Ron: *mass breakout*
  • Vernon: *falls out window*
  • Fred'n'George: sup
  • Mrs. Weasley: BoYs YaLl DoNe It NoW GeT yo SoRrY AsSeS oVeR HeRe- except you Harry nothing's ever your fault an btw thanks for almost getting my son killed last year
  • Ginny: *highkey stalker*
  • Floo powder: lol you thought things would go right in your life
  • Draco: *exists*
  • Harry: He'S FuCkInG Up tO SoMeThInG
  • Hagrid: *saves Harry from being raped*
  • Hermione: sup
  • Lockhart: OMG IT'S HARRY POTTER HERE TO BOOST MY HALLWAY CRED- I mean- *coughs* you have a few fans yourself, I hear- HERETAKEMYBOOKSTAKETHEMALL
  • Lucius: *is an ass*
  • Aurthur: *fights a bitch*
  • Lucius: *here have this book it's pretty and talks to you but be careful it may possess you*
  • Platform 9 3/4: *is an ass*
  • Ron: Let's just take the flying car illegally instead of just owling Hogwarts or waiting for my parents
  • Harry: k
  • Car: *eighties action music*
  • Harry: can you hear that?
  • Ron: we must be getting close!
  • Harry: hold on-
  • *music grows louder*
  • Hogwarts express with Thomas face on it: DUN DUN DUN DUUN DUN DUN, DUUUUN
  • Car: *crashes*
  • Tree: *is an ass*
  • McGonagall: Idfc just go away here have a sandwich
  • Hermione: sup
  • Shit: hello friends
  • Wall: ThE ChAmBeR Of SeCreTS HaS BeEN OPenEd EnEmIeS oF The HeiR BeWArE
  • Mrs. Norris: hanging by noose from ceiling
  • Harry Ron and Hermione: *are there*
  • Filch: Y'all killed my cat IMMA KILL YA
  • Dumbledore: Bruh you accusing the great Harry Potter?!? If it was anyone else I wouldn't care but since it's Harry SHUT UP
  • Malfoy: *is a slithery Slytherin*
  • Harry: He's the heir
  • Hermione: *starts making potion*
  • Myrtle: *moans*
  • Colin: *takes pictures of Harry*
  • Harry: ew fuck stop
  • Lockhart: StOp YoU cAn'T bE MoRe PopUlAr thAn mE- I mean *coughs* it's unwise to hand out pictures until you're as famous as me
  • Harry: *gets detention* *is worse than Umbridge's blood quill* *hears hissing* *doesn't suspect it could be a snake which is the animal that hisses*
  • Hermione and Ron: sup
  • Harry: can you hear that
  • Ron and Hermione: wtf no you must be insane
  • Harry: lol tru
  • Lockhart: *has dueling club*
  • Snape: *kicks his ass with the disarming spell*
  • Lockhart: totally meant for that to happen now give me a moment while I restart my heart
  • Hermione: *is killed by Millicent but somehow manages to get a hair*
  • Snape: Harry fight Draco
  • Harry and Draco: *fight*
  • Draco: *snakeness intensifies*
  • Harry: (to snake) bruh calm down mate
  • Snake: k
  • Snape: *kills snake*
  • Ernie: Bruh you tryina kill me
  • Harry: lol no but I should asshole
  • Ron: Harry why didn't you tell me you had a completely dead ability when you didn't even know it existed or that it was rare
  • Harry: idk snakes are cool
  • Person: *petrified*
  • Teachers: maybe we should give a shit
  • Dumbledore: lol nope
  • Quidditch: *happens*
  • Draco: training for the ballet, Potter?
  • Harry: *trains for ballet* *breaks arm*
  • Lockhart: OMG GET OUT OF MY WAY I HAVE TI HEAL HARRY IT WILL BOST MY READERSHIP I mean *coughs* I've done this a thousand times
  • Harry's Arm: *is bendy*
  • Harry: *goes to infirmary* *hears extremely important information*
  • Polyjuice: *happens*
  • Draco: blah blah blah mud blood blah blah blah poor blah blah blah whydoesntpotterloveme
  • Draco: *isnt heir*
  • Harry and Ron: well shit *get the hell outta doge*
  • Hermione: *is cat*
  • Harry: *finds moist book in a girl's bathroom* Imma take this
  • Harry: *ignores more murderous hissing*
  • Diary: hello friend no more sadness today
  • Harry: seems legit
  • Diary: here look at this memory I'm Tom Riddle
  • Harry: k
  • Memory: *happens*
  • Harry: boi why da fk you lyin
  • Hagrid: *is taken to Azkaban because we needed to introduce it for the next book*
  • Harry and Ron: *follow spiders*
  • Spider dude: We do not speak the name of the giant snake in your pipes now excuse me while my children murder you
  • Car: *is real hero of the story*
  • Hermione: *is petrified*
  • Harry and Ron: Shit
  • Hermione: *has clue casually hidden in her hand but takes weeks to find*
  • Harry: ohh it's a Basilisk dats why I can hear it
  • Ginny: *is taken*
  • Professors: *finally give a shit*
  • Lockhart: lol nope
  • Harry: lol yup
  • Myrtle: yah that sink with the snake on it. I mean, it would've been helpful to tell you about it before but whatever have fun
  • Harry: k thx
  • Myrtle: Harry when you die you should stay in here and fuck me
  • Ron: bye bitch
  • Harry: *hisses*
  • Draco: *in dungeons* *gets boner*
  • Chamber: *is opened*
  • Lockhart: I LOVE YOU HARRY! I mean- *coughs* say goodbye to your memories imma just take credit for your stories like I did for erryone else
  • *uses Ron's broken wand* *hits himself* *cavern collapses conveniently blocking Ron and Douchehart on one side and Harry on the other*
  • Ron: lol rip
  • Harry: k bye
  • Ginny: *is almost dead*
  • Harry: shit
  • Tom: *is hot* *appears menacingly*
  • Harry: sup Tom wanna help
  • Tom: lol nope *takes Harry's wand*
  • Harry: Bruh give me my wand
  • Tom: Snakey go kill this twelve year old
  • Harry: *runs*
  • Snake: *is blinded by random phoenix*
  • Harry: *stabs snake with magic sword* *gets bit* *stabs book*
  • Ginny: sup omg Harry that look like it hurts
  • Harry: *gives speech*
  • Fawkes: *cries*
  • Harry: yay I'm healed
  • Fawkes: gets them past all the boulders magically
  • All: *are free*
  • Dobby: *socks are lyfe*
  • Harry: *roast*
  • Credits: *roll*

anonymous asked:

hi!! sorry it wouldnt let me send more asks haha. i'll tell you the rest of what happened, but i gotta be upfront and say that i cant provide you with real "PROOF" of what happened bc i'm really, really not comfortable with sharing the pic of us since the pic+the story 10000% outs me (even if it's just on the internet. i have irl friends here.) so enjoy the story, but i totally get if you don't publish it because there's not solid proof (not that it's insider-y or really has any info to it lmao)

so i spot them (not like it was difficult ha) and i was like holy shit my time has come. im finally getting my louis+starbucks moment in the sun. so after about 30 seconds of ??????? i bucked up and went over and i was like mega shy because IT’S SO AWKWARD APPROACHING A CELEB I HAD NO IDEA. like i mean i kinda assumed it would be, but i’ve literally never done it before so i had no idea just how bad it would be……. 

 4. but anyways i did the whole “omg louis, i love you, i love the band, kjdhfjsdh” thing and he was very sweet and had this big old grin on his face and was acting kind of silly idk how to explain it but he was just being very jokey i guess. and then idk what powers from above gave me the clarity of mind to do this, but right when it probably should’ve been time for me to just ask for a pic and walk away, i went for it. i feel like everyone always has their “one thing” 

 5. they wanna say to one of the guys and ever since mitam i have always, always, always said that if i ever met any of them i would say something about end of the day. so basically i just started rambling and i was more or less just like, “i just wanted to say thank you for end of the day. i dont know if you know this and i dont know what your intentions were with the song or whatever, but just thank you 

 6. because there’s a very large group of us that have kind of taken it to be a song about girls that love girls and it just really means a lot since it’s such a fun, positive song. so thank you.” and it obviously came out 98539485793485 times more awkward and jumbled than that but whatever. and he wasn’t like, “omg!!! you got it!! that’s what it’s about!!!” or anything at all like that, but he just got like…very?? soft and sweet. 

 he stopped grinning like he had been during our entire exchange. like that big cheesy fan grin he always does idk?? and instead he just had this very soft and sweet smile and he GAVE ME THE SOFTEST HUG IN THE ENTIRE WOLRD!!!! HE HUGGED ME!!!! HE INITIATED THE HUGGGGGG!!! and it was just a very soft hug im sorry iknow ive used that word like eighty times but it’s true!!!! and during the hug i kinda turned back into fan girl mush and i was like “thank you thank you thank youuuuu” 

and then he was like, “thank you, love,” and then oli took a pic of us haha. and after this two minute encounter i literally only have one thing to say: idk shit about larry or babygate or any of that bullshit. all i know is that louis tomlinson was incredibly sweet and kind and he is not the attention seeking asshole that people on my dash have been slowly making him out to be.

so yeah basically he was just sweet and kind. i really, really don’t want to be connected with this story (i got burned a while back by someone accidentally outing me on tumblr and it made for an awkward convo with the girl i kinda like…) but yes!!! it just is what it is :) i totally get it if you dont wanna publish, but it’s cool if you do. (and this is me praying to god im not in any pap pics. but oh well.) 

================================

Oh. My. God.  I know I’m going to have to call this a rumor, but this is the best story!!!  I hope it’s true. It sounds true and it sounds exactly like I would think something like this would happen :)

Thank you so much for sharing. Thank you!!  
 

anonymous asked:

I'm kinda having a bad day, I'm extremely sensitive to being yelled at so my question is If the boys accidentally snapped at their gf and they were sensitive too, and they take it personally, and shut the boys out because they got scared of them, what would they do?

Oh my goodness, anon, I’m sorry that you’re having a rough day. I hope it gets better soon! <3 Sorry that these are super long, but maybe they’ll make you feel a bit better! 

Leo: As tears well up in her eyes and she mouths an apology, Leo’s face goes slack. He curses at himself and then reaches out and takes her in his large arms as gently as he can. Leo tucks her head under his chin the best he can and he rests one hand on her back, drawing soothing circles in between her shoulder blades. He apologizes, multiple times, but she gives him the silent treatment. 
 Eventually they part and she leaves the lair, leaving Leo to marinate in his own thoughts. At this point he would go through stages of guilt, annoyance, guilt again, then anger, then acceptance. He didn’t mean to snap at her, he knows that she’s sensitive, but she should understand that he wouldn’t hurt her, right? (“It’s almost like she doesn’t even trust me!”) But he’s supposed to be the levelheaded one that keeps his cool, that’s the whole reason why he’s the leader. Leo stays up that night with the events of the previous day haunting him.   He would think of all the ways to try and make it up to her, and text her an apology, asking her to come back to the lair whenever she’s ready and that they’ll talk then. 
 It might take her awhile, but when they finally do meet face to face, he would be the one to show up with a list of grievances that he’d want to voice, but end up just hugging her and reassuring her that he’d never hurt her, that she’s safe, and that he promises never to raise his voice at her again.

Raph: As soon as the words leave his mouth, he wishes he could suck them right back in and then hide under a rock. She look like she touched a hot stove top the way she retracted and held her arm to her chest. He bites his lip and against his better judgement, he turns right back around and locks himself in his room. How could he recover from something like that? How could anyone? When she, his girlfriend, looked at him, someone she should be able to trust inexplicably, with fear…it broke his heart. 
  When his gf avoids him, or gives him the cold shoulder for a bit, he gets angry. How dare she act like this! He broods around the lair, he practices more, and is generally like a walking time bomb. He starts thinking up excuses for his actions, even though he knows that it’s wrong. (And he thinks she’s being childish. Yeesh.) He just doesn’t want to accept the fact that, even for a brief second, his girlfriend was scared of him.
  When he finally sucks it up and texts her, with the encouragement of local love guru Michelangelo, to come back to the lair to talk, his palms get clammy and his stomach churns. Once she arrives the tension is terribly thick, but he begs her to hear him out. Eventually as he explains, he starts crying as he reveals that he’s scared of losing her. Though it’s difficult for her, for fear of getting another volatile reaction, his girlfriend explains her side of the situation and he listens with intense focus. All is well in the end, but he’d be scared to touch her for awhile, for fear of rejection. “Do you really think I would hurt you?”

Donnie: Shit. Holy shit. He curses himself a thousand times over. He stares at her face for any sign of emotion, but regrets it when her bottom lip starts quivering on its own accord. Donatello knows that his girlfriend is hypersensitive and isn’t prone to snapping at her anyway, but today he just lost it. He knows full and damn well that that’s no excuse, and when she flinches away from his touch his stomach dropped. Suddenly all those times she asked if he’s killed come to mind and his breath hitches. Surely she couldn’t believe that….but when she hightails it to the lair’s exit, he doesn’t bother following because he already knows. Donnie puts his head in his hands and shakes his head. “What have I done?”
He goes over the probability of every outcome if he apologized in different ways, but nothing seemed high enough. Snapping at her wasn’t fair, she didn’t deserve it and he knew that, but she also wasn’t responding to any of his texts and it’s been three days. THREE. Donnie starts getting even more worried and tries to call her. 
 She responds, but not exactly how he’d like, but it’s better than nothing. When she agrees to come back to the lair to talk, he is relieved, but also nervous. Would she still be scared of him? He straightens up the lab a bit and turns off the monitors (aside from the surveillance ones) before she gets there so she won’t be overstimulated during their conversation. She shows up unimpressed, but by the end of it they’re both shedding a little tear. 

Mikey: He’s not usually one for angry outbursts, and especially not around his gf, who he knows is more sensitive than she’ll let on, but it was an accident. It should be fine, right? HA. She bites her lip to look strong, but he could see her eyes watering, and her cheeks grew hot. “Babe, I’m sorry, i didn’t mean to-,” She hits him with the “No it’s fine, I get it.” Before grabbing her purse and making a beeline for the exit. He chases after her, but stops short of the door. He could still see her swiping aggressively at the tears falling down her cheeks. 
 Mikey would feel like absolute GARBAGE for the rest of the day, and then some. But this sweet boy is very in tune with his feelings and he knows that she’s gotta come around eventually, right? HA.
  After three days, Mikey begins to lose hope and chooses to take a visit to her apartment. Standing on the fire escape, he knocks on her window, using their special rhythm (two knocks followed by three knocks) He waits and watches for any movement from within, but there is none. He waits. He waits for two whole hours before an idea hits him full force. He leaves her apartment to run back down to the lair to get a secret weapon. 
  A couple hours later, armed with nothing but a retro boombox, Mikey stands once more on the fire escape. He clicks play and lifts the boombox above his head as it blares Peter Gabriel’s In Your Eyes. A couple of minutes pass before the blinds shift and Mikey sees a flash of her hair. Hope swells inside him when he hears the window lock click and suddenly she’s standing there with a knowing smirk, one eyebrow raised. In a dramatic event that rivals any Cusack or Hughes movie, Mikey apologizes and promises to do better in the future. 

When heroes are human & what comes with growth

Trying to get some of my feelings down on this chapter so I want to take a moment to look a little deeper in the imagery used for this panel in particular.

Its really such a chilling panel in its use of shadows and white space, wherein Toshinori is leaving Izuku as the shadows he leaves behind gradually creep up on him, not quite touching him yet but slowly drawing in on him.

These shadows he creates have taken someone else though.

Clear parallels are being made throughout this arc about Nighteye and Izuku, most prominently felt when Toshinori uses the word fan: 

  • admiring the same qualities about All Might
  • wrapped up in his ideals, wanting to be like him
  • breaking the barrier of admirer, aspiring to be worthy of his respect & confidence
  • having deep affection & concern for his well-being
  • and are shocked with the reality of who he is

Not in the way you find out someone you admire is just terrible but just that the person who you admire is flawed in a real way.

This is what I took most from this: All Might, the great and shining hero who left everyone in awe, is very much a flawed human who has hurt those closest to him with his choices and he understands he has but he can’t turn back because that would mean doing something worse, leaving people in fear and what his master gave him was put in the wrong hands.

All Might can’t let go because that’d mean he was wrong, the decision to make sure everyone feels safe and they have this security was not deserved. He can’t back off and let these ideals lose their meaning because that’d mean Toshinori the quirkless kid, who was given a chance by his hero, was a poor choice.

He lives for the all while ignoring the one: himself and those who are close and care for him in a personal way. its the flip side of what is good and righteous, so selfless and in keeping with their ideals they won’t take a step back for themselves. Thats what Izuku is touching on right now, the ideals that seemed so dazzling he missed what it implicates. 

Toshinori has pushed through personal pain and concern for his wellbeing for responsibilities and duties he feels for a whole. He has to keep the peace, he has to provide society with security, its whats held him together for so many years but he’s just a frail man and its scary and sad for Izuku to see this and not fully understand. He thought he knew All Might by now, he thought no matter what All Might had everything together. 

He even thought he knew All Might’s weaknesses except it runs deeper than physical problems.

Toshinori disregards what he has accomplished and done for thoughts of what he can still do, what it is he has to keep doing. These are the shadows he casts over Nighteye, choosing societies security over his own.

Its the truth you come to realize about people, they aren’t perfect, they make mistakes and sometimes what they do will not always agree with you in the end. Its what you get when you get older, the person in your life you accepted would always be right has cracks and those cracks can be scary because it means uncertainty and it means theres not going to be a clean cut answer to all problems, the grey areas start to show. 

All Might wanted to continue being there for the public, putting up a facade, while Sir just wanted him to lead a fulfilling life without understanding Toshinori had given all that up for his career. He could no longer be an average man because everything he’s put himself through has been for the purpose of being that all encompassing hero.

Toshinori knew this was coming. This was the time Izuku was growing past his more childish attitude and was asserting himself, acting every bit the developing teen he is. He’s coming into his own and that means facing something difficult he may not take well. (Sidenote: Toshinori has never given Izuku his real name before, getting that information from Gran Torino, always referring to himself as All Might as though maintaining that image for both their benefits)

Toshinori asks Izuku himself if he’s ready, giving him the chance to go back and be the kid who doesn’t need to know about his demons, he wants to keep him as innocent for as long as he can. This is something he’s put someone in a similar situation through and he regrets it, he doesn’t want to put that pain, disappointment and the weight of who he is on another kid who looks up to him. He didn’t want to let someone else down with who Toshinori is, trying to spare him the shadows he never meant to cast over Nighteye.

But he can’t keep Izuku where he can manage his growth himself, Izuku is impatient and young. The stakes keep going up and more people surrounding him are getting caught in it. He wants results and he wants to be able to accomplish things instead of having more failures, leaving more people in pain thanks to his inexperience.

Izuku has grown so much from the shy, hesitant person he was before who’d give into discouragement and be content with what he has. Izuku is no longer that kid who used to burst with admiration, he’s growing up and part of that is removing the lens you wear when you look at adults/parental figures you admire. Whatever made them perfect in your eyes isn’t the same anymore, seeing them for who they are and knowing there’s something about them that doesn’t fit with what you thought before. 

You have to take the good and the bad with the progress made.

Izuku, for his part, is growing past relying on All Might’s words to carry him, he’s growing into his own and building the confidence and drive to make shit happen. That means holding his own when he’s told he’s not good enough when he would have felt uncertain before.

 And not shying away from conflict when there’s something insidious going on. All Might not telling him this information himself put Izuku’s absolute faith into doubt, he’s learning All Might may not have everything together.

Izuku’s made strides but it means opening up for something less certain. He isn’t disheartened anymore but that doesn’t mean he’ll be told what he does is right, its the first step to learning just how harsh this work really is and his naive beliefs could lead to a worse outcome.

Reality is harsh and his dream is very open to harsher consequence. He has to overcome his naiveté, to adapt and think on his own, what is right and wrong for him and what has to be done. He’s learned he has to come into his own without relying on the image of All Might. But now he has to wonder: ‘whats under that image?’ Its scary to think All Might doesn’t know what he’s doing, your hero might not have a complete handle on life and what he does to himself is self-destructive.

Sir is still stuck on this himself. The shadows that have engulfed Sir Nighteye, the pain Toshinori puts himself through with his lack of self-preservation, are slowly touching on izuku. He starting to know thats who All Might really is, Toshinori the person who has put his image and ideals above himself.

Toshinori says he’s sorry but its not just for the heavy information he’s shared or choosing Midoriya based on chance, its for everything he really is and everything he couldn’t live as. He’s sorry for not ‘truly’ being the man Izuku had looked up to. Toshinori is sorry for the weaknesses he possess and the people who’ve had to carry the burdens he’s put on them. For being the man who, even after losing half his organs, still pushes himself despite knowing he’ll never last and could die in a horrible way in a foreseeable future. He still knows he could die sadly but pushes through that, not wanting to face himself.

He’s sorry for putting Nighteye through his selfishness and letting Izuku know of it; he’s sorry for not ‘successfully’ embodying the ideals he set out for himself.

Its desolate and nerve-racking and it tears away at him, even if he understands whats best. He’ll never be content and rest on his laurels even after being the first OfA successor to land a considerable blow to AfO. He’ll still keep fighting a never ending battle and may never get the peace he deserves, all because he’ll be anxious if he’s not the one to carry it. Never quite accepting his limits.

He can’t turn back, he has to keep going for himself, its his egotism. Its all he can do is to say he’s sorry and keep going forward because he knows what he’s doing will never reach an end. Thats been his flaw, he can’t stop himself from living this life because its the only one he’s accustomed to.

Everything he’s done was in service to be relied on, it makes him feel lost when he’s the one protected. He has to throw himself into the next labor just to have a goal to shoot for in the greater good (getting Shigaraki out of being a villain). If not, it means facing all he’s denied himself to be that symbol.

All Might may have accomplished more than any hero has before and done everything he could for the world but Toshinori will never be content.

It’s important to have these characters highlighted during this flashback. They’ve gone through what All Might has, they’ve witnessed what he has been through and they’ve had to shoulder through the sometimes troubling choices he’s pushed on himself. 

During the sports fest, All Might couldn’t reprimand Izuku because Izuku was berating his own inadequacy for the situation, he sees far too much of himself in Izuku. Izuku had to learn he couldn’t keep breaking his own body to make sure help was given, he had to learn this himself through failure and troubling those around him, knowing he’s not the only one being affected by his reckless actions.

Chiyo had done her best to nip that behaviour in the bud before it got to All Might levels of troubling, she doesn’t want to continue down the same path they’ve gone down before.

All Might may have been the symbol of peace in society but he’s still Toshinori the man who is frail and can only do so much before he’s worn himself thin but he keeps going regardless of protests. And they are the ones who’ve decided to watch over him since they can’t control what he does, guide and advice but still lack what can set him at ease, giving him the peace he needs. 

They were there then and they’ll continue being there for him the best they can.

And thats the drawback of losing your mentor, they’ll always be the perfect hero in your eyes while never learning their shortcomings.

Toshinori will always aspire and never meet his ideals because he’ll believe Nana could have, she’s peerless in his eyes. He’ll never quite meet her faults in the same way Izuku and Sir have and perhaps he’ll never realize this about himself.

In the end, Izuku is left unsettled by all of this coming from his hero.

The shadows All Might leaves behind have enveloped Sir Nighteye and are slowly finding their way to Izuku.

klance wedding headcanons

alright so a bunch of you asked for some klance wedding headcanons in response to the shallura wedding post and ho boy i am here to deliver 

(shoutout to @leg-defender again for idea bouncing with me!)

  • first off, the wedding is Big. because Lance’s family is HUGE and they gotta be involved in e v e r y t h i n g. they’re basically orchestrating the whole shebang along with the rest of the voltron crew. 
    • Lance’s family does a shitton of research on Korean weddings because they want to include traditions from Keith’s culture as well as Lance’s. 
      • An entire twenty-four hour day is spent with the whole team on computers, at libraries, calling old Korean friends and sending Shiro out to be the honorary diplomat. by the end of the day they could probably run their own program on the history channel.
  • Hunk, Lance’s mother, grandmother, and anyone else with even a fingernail of cooking talent are all on the Food Squad together because let’s be honest there is a lot of food to be made. 
    • nobody knows what kind of food Keith likes and they can’t ask Lance because it’s supposed to be a surprise so they have to send Pidge out for reconnaissance
      • Pidge has no idea how to navigate the situation and ends up trying to ask Keith what his favorite restaurant is in hopes of getting somewhere
      • his favorite restaurant is the Pizza Hut down the street
      • Pidge gives up and just tells everyone he likes traditional Korean food (which he does)
  • The “Bachelor Party” is just the whole original voltron crew having a fun night out of the town
    • they go to an arcade
    • Keith beats Lance in just about every game they play
    • minus the first person shooters and dance dance revolution
    • nobody beats Lance at dance dance revolution
    • nobody.
  • Hunk is pretty much Lance’s Maid of Honor, Shiro is Keith’s
    • Almost every single one of Lance’s siblings is a Bridesmaid/Groomsman
    • Keith doesn’t really have a lot of people to be his Groomsmen so Lance’s siblings take the position for his side too
    • They literally fight over who gets to be a Groomsman for Keith they all want to do it so bad
      • it makes Keith cry bc he never thought he’d be part of a big family like this and it just makes him Really Fucking Happy
  • Keith is kind of a fashion disaster and doesn’t know how to pick out what to wear so Lance’s five sisters immediately adopt him.
    • they spend the whole day shopping together
    • Lance has never seen someone get along with all of his sisters so well in his entire life
      • it’s actually a little freaky how well
      • Lance is Afraid
  • For the wedding Keith has his nails painted blue and Lance has his painted red
    • Lance’s little cousins do it for them so it’s kind of sloppy but it’s insanely fucking cute
  • Allura and Lance’s mom are the Decorating Dream Team
    • the whole venue looks like it just came off of a goddamn pintest board 
    • in the best way possible
    • Allura has added some more questionable decorations but what can you do
    • “Are those… goldfish bowls?” “Yes.” “Ok.”
  • Coran along with Lance’s like 98 year old great-grandmother are the ones who marry them
    • yes both of them
    • they both demanded to have the position so they had to share it
    • at first they didn’t get along so well but now they are best buddies for some odd reason
    • no one knows why they get along but they do so nobody’s complaining 
  • Lance starts bawling like three words into his vows
    • he can’t help it Ok it’s a Very Emotional Moment
    • the whole thing is rly sweet though because Keith just smiles Super Fucking Wide and wipes away his tears. Everyone’s heart in a 300 mile radius melts. If you weren’t crying before you sure as hell are now.
  • They kiss for Way Too Long during the ceremony. Pidge has to not-so-subtly kick Lance in the ankle and remind them not to suffocate eachother.
    • Lance is so getting Pidge later for that.
    • he never actually gets Pidge later for that.
  • The reception is really just One Huge Fun Dance Party 
    • basically everyone is drunk but in the best way possible
    • there is karaoke 
      • Lance forces Keith to come on stage with him and sing
      • except Lance chooses a song in Spanish and Keith has n o i d e a what he’s doing
      • the only part of the song Keith gets is this really slow line when he looks Lance right in the eyes and says “Besame, te amo”
      • it’s a one-hit-KO 
      • Lance is #gone
      • he forgets how to speak spanish altogether and just starts sputtering random words that translate to things like “my entire bathtub is green” and the spanish rendition of the happy birthday song
  • They all unanimously decide to eat the cake before dinner.
    • They wish they had an excuse for breaking out the cake before dinner but they don’t. The just really want to see the cake Hunk has been bragging about making for weeks.
    • the cake is so beautiful Lance starts crying again
    • honestly nobody can really blame him is is one hell of a cake
  • Shiro’s toast speech is like 10 minutes of roasting Keith and Lance for all the dumb shit they’ve done over the years
    • “I remember when you two had a contest to see who could eat more cheese logs–”
    • “Or the time when you both hung upside down so long you passed out and we had to take you to the ER—”
    • “And there was The Poison Ivy Incident last March–”
    • “Oh don’t even get me started on the Slip ‘N Slide race—”
      • “Shiro… Please…. Let Us Live………”
  • alas 20 minutes into the actual dinner a Huge food fight breaks out
    • It. Is. Chaos.
    • Everybody participates. Nobody is spared. 
    • Food is e v e r y w h e r e but honestly who cares they’re having a blast.
    • There is a running debate to this day over how it started
      • “Keith started it! With the potatoes!”
      • “I did not, it was all Lance and his stupid carrots!”
      • “Allura is the one who launched the peas,”
      • “Excuse me?! Shiro dumped the fruit punch”
      • “Only after Hunk threw the rice cakes!”
      • “Oh no don’t you drag me in to this–”
  • In conclusion, it’s absolute Chaos but it’s the most fun, exciting, Lance-and-Keith-like wedding anybody’s been to in like a million years and nobody leaves without a smile on their face and one hell of a story to tell.

There comes a point when you can’t play everything off as coincidence anymore, and Harry and Louis passed that point about a hundred “coincidences” ago. All signs point towards larry, and i’m sorry if you think that’s delusional thinking, but honest to god there’s too much for antis to debunk. It’s been nearly seven (7) years and larry is STILL an ongoing debate, to the point where this fanbase is literally separated between antis and larries. The amount of shit they could have done to deny larry, like for instance, IGNORING IT. Instead even more attention was brought to it when they decided to bring in beards and babies and sending out a “hate” narrative. And it’s continuing even now to the point where Ben Winston is trying to erase the fact that H and L lived together by telling lies and resorting to enforcing Harry’s unwanted womanizing image. It’s gross.
Louis’ entire public image revolves around his relationships rather than his music and all the amazing shit he’s done for charity and the fans. We know who he’s dating at all times, we knew B was pregnant before she even started showing, we get pictures of every single time he’s with El including at his fucking public house. We’ve predicted practically every single thing that’s happened with elounor, it’s at a point where I’m no longer laughing at how poorly everything has been carried out. I’m an optimist, so hopefully this is the year they finally have their happy ending, though I doubt anything major like that will happen before the release of Harry’s album, By the way, speaking of the album, Harry’s constant need to the allude the number 28 is an example of one of those unfortunate “coincidences.” If you don’t think the dates all going back to 28 is on purpose, then please explain to me the likelihood of two people being haunted by a number. Also, while you’re at it, explain the corresponding tattoos and explain the new bee tattoo. Explain Louis’ treatment towards Freddie. Explain why Louis’ manager followed El on the same day within minutes of Louis following her BEFORE anything was confirmed or publicly set up. Explain the poorly laid out timeline of everything and how the narrative just makes Louis out to be a lowlife cheater. Explain why Harry can’t even say Louis’ name in an interview. Explain why Harry said he hasn’t dated in a while and yet is so seemingly in love and has filled his album with songs referring to a certain someone. Explain why Hendall is still being talked about when both teams have denied ever dating more than once. Explain Haylor and why Louis was so miserable at that time and why he always showed as much dislike toward it as he could. Explain Harry’s love of all things rainbow and for gods sake thE BEES. Explain the song Home and why Louis changed pronouns. Explain why Harry hasn’t used a single pronoun when describing a partner since practically the beginning, other than the times he’s straight up used male pronouns. Explain the lyric changes and the fond stares. Explain Wellington and rbb. And fucking hell, someone please explain why before Elounor 1.0 Louis tweeted AIMH, and before Elounor 2.0 he tweeted “Always” and captioned a very sad black and white selfie with “You.”
This literally isn’t even half of the shit I could have brought up. Louis and Harry don’t owe anything to me, and I’m aware we don’t know shit about their actual lives, but you can’t attack an entire group of people and call them delusional and use ableist terms and tell us we need to be checked into a mental institute when everything is so completely black and white. All you have to do is open your eyes and realize that people lie, the music industry is not a happy go lucky place, and people in the industry get closeted all the fucking time. Homophobia exists, heteronormativity exists, fear exists, forced closeting exists, pr stunts exist, and not everything is a glorified Hollywood dream

silcatian  asked:

For UF, SF, HT, and MT skelebros, how would they react if their s/o liked being in contact with them a lot. Walking together down the street, they hold his hand. Laying down on the couch or in bed, they go to bury themselves in his arms. When asked about why they do this they reply, "Because I feel safe when I'm with you. I can fully relax and know that no harm will ever come to me as long as you're here."

* HECK THIS IS ME
* Also, sorry bae I don’t do Horrortale
* If any one of y’all imagine hoes out there wanna pick that up for me, you’re welcome to!!

Context: Early stages of their relationship.


UF!Sans

He gets flustered very easily by casual affection, but as long as it isn’t too smothering or dramatic, he’ll accept it silently even as blush creeps up his face. He’s not one for actively initiating physical affection even as he actively craves it so he secretly really enjoys the fact that his S/O does this. It takes a long while for him to actually ask because he’s afraid that if he mentions it, he’ll make things awkward and they’ll stop doing it. So for a long while, he just silently reciprocates whenever his S/O initiates affection. He only eventually asks because he was spiralling one night and wondering why the hell they’re even with him and why they seem to like his company so much. What do they want from him? It’s after their response that their relationship moves to another level of closeness. His S/O trusts him, feels safe around him. Holy shit. If that doesn’t make him more protective than ever, I don’t know what will. He gets more touchy, slowly initiating more and more physical affection himself because he wants to keep them close. He knows he’s not the most ideal romantic partner, but keeping that safe? That he can do.

UF!Pap

He adores the way they openly show affection to him, pulling them close whenever they snuggle up. But like his brother, he won’t actively initiate physical affection and in fact rarely ever will even in later stages of the relationship. In a relationship with Boss, he will automatically try to take care of his S/O and having them be affectionate in this way really immerses him in the role of the protector, making him feel wanted and important. Their response only further cements this mentality. He will take care of his S/O like no other, being firm but loving as he tries to tend to all their needs, wants and obligations. He’s the kind of boyfriend to memorise your schedules and try to make it easier for you in any way he can. It will come out pretty loud and angry but he’ll make you keep to any meds you have, food, sleep, etc.

SF!Sans

He is very flattered by the way they so openly show their affection for him. It gives him quite an ego boost, thinking that their affection for him is so strong that they can’t resist showing it so frequently. He pretends to be above their gentle affection but reciprocates in small but obvious ways to show that he really does appreciate it. When he finds out the reason, he drops the holier than thou act somewhat. He is very genuinely touched by their blatant trust in him and his abilities. Their response initiates a closer level of understanding and gentleness towards his S/O and is the beginning of Sans opening up and being more sincere with his S/O rather than focusing on his imagine in front of them. He gets very protective and defensive of his S/O, especially because now he thinks he is expected to be.

SF!Pap

He’s pretty jumpy from their casual affection at first because um??? the person he likes???? keeps?? showing??? him???? affection????? He shyly returns their affections when they do so, trying to work up the nerves to initiate the affection first as well. He honestly still can’t believe they’re actually dating, definitely doubting their feelings for him. Not because he thinks they’re lying, no. He just has a hard time believing it. That is why he asks. And their response completely blows him out of the water. On one hand, he has an even harder time digesting that and letting it sit. On the other hand, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He feels so wanted and trusted and loved and just slightly overwhelmed with how much he wants to return their affection. He promises them and himself then, that he won’t let them down. He’s willing to throw everything he’s got away to keep them safe and happy.

MT!Sans

He loves their quiet and affectionate nature. Thinks it’s really cute and a lovely peaceful change of pace from the rest of his lifestyle. In fact, it’s exactly the relationship he felt he had been looking for all this time. He’ll practically drown himself in his S/O’s affection, returning it full force and then some. He thinks that if someone can be so affectionate with him like this, he probably isn’t that bad a guy, right? When he finds out the reason for their affections, he gets pretty emotional. After all the things he’s done, everything that he still does, they still trust him this much? He’s always considered their safety when he goes on jobs. After this, it’s pretty much ensured because knowing they put so much faith in him, he absolutely can never ever no matter what let them down. He’d dust everyone in the area and then himself before he lets anyone come close to them. They’ll never come to harm, not someone so wonderful, not someone who makes him feel clean again. He gets even more careful with covering his tracks so as to not lead back to his S/O. He also gets twice as touchy, and tries to treat them extra cheesy romantically for awhile. Unfortunately, his energy runs out at some point and he reverts back to normal lazy romantic with occasional bursts of cheesy romance when he has the energy to.

MT!Pap

This actual literal cinnamon roll loves every ounce of affection he recieves from anyone, especially the person he loves. Start of the relationship or not, the intensity and blatantness of his affection never wavers. People tend to see him as scary and intimidating because of his job so he loves the fact that his S/O has no qualms about snuggling up to him. He goes completely starry eyed at their confession, physical affection increasing in frequency and intensity by 9999999. He already loves showing off in front of his S/O as a display of strength. The fact that they think of him so highly, to be able to protect them, really bolsters his self confidence in his capabilities. But it also gives him some pressure and anxiety. What if he’s not good enough? What if he can’t keep them safe all the time? What if something really happens? He ends up enlisting his entire gang to help keep his S/O safe. 

Transcription of “history of japan”

welcome to my night, where i basically sat down for a whole hour typing this entire thing down. wtf am i even doing. 

———

Japan is an island by the sea, filled with volcanos and its 

♪ beautiful 

In the year negative a billion; Japan might not have been here.

In the year negative forty thousand; it was here and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it.
Then it got warmer some icebergs melted and it became an island, and now theres lots of 

♪ trees ♪

because its warmer. 

So now there’s people on the island that’s basically just hanging out in between the mountains, eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology like 

stones and bowls.

Ding dong ♪

It’s the outside world and they have technology from the future like, really good metal and crazy rice farms. 

Now you can make a lot of rice, really, really quickly. 

That means if you own a farm

you own a lot of food,

which is something everybody needs to 

SURVIVE. 

So that makes you king. 

Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land all the way to here.

The most important kingdoms were,

  • here
  • here
  • here
  • here
  • here, 
  • here 
  • and here.

But this one was the most, most important.

Ruled by a heavenly superperson 

or Emperor for short. 

knock knock.  

get the door,  its 

♪ religion

The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion from

Baekje.

Please try this religion.” he said. 

No” said everybody.

♪ Try it ♪”  he said.

“No” said everybody again, quieter this time. 

And so, the religion was put into place and all the rules that came with it. 

Then the government was taken over by another clique and they made some reforms like,

  • making the Government govern more. 
  • And making the Government more like China’s Government, which is a Government that governs more. 

“Hi China.” they said.

”Hi dipshit.” said China.

can you call us something else other than dipshit?” said Japan. 

Like what?” said China.

♪How about sunrise land ♪” said Japan. 

And they stole China’s alphabet and wrote a book. 

‘bout themselves. 

And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves.

Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for awhile. 

~right here~

and they conquered the north, finally. 

Get that squared away.

A rich hipster named Kukai is bored with modern buddhism, visits China and learns a better version which is more  

♪Spiritual

comes back, reinvents the alphabet and causes art and literature to be  

♪great

for a long time.  

And the royal palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn’t give a shit about running the country.  

So if you lived outside the palace how are you supposed to protect your shit, from criminals

♪ h i r e   a   s a m u r a i  ♪

Everyone started hiring Samurai. 

  • rich, important people hired samurai.
  • poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai

The samurai became organised and powerful. 

More powerful than the government. 

So they made their own military government 

~here~ 

They let the “Emperor” still be “Emperor” but the Shogun is actually in control. 

Breaking news! 

The Mongols have invaded China!

We’ve invaded China.” said the Mongols. “Please respect us or else we might invade you as well.

okay.” said Japan. 

So the Mongols came over, ready for war and– 

died in a tornado(typhoon). 

But they tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese but then– 

died in a tornado(typhoon). 

Then the Emperor overthrows the Shogunate and Shogunate overthrows them back and moves to Kyoto and makes a new Shogunate. 

And the “Emperor” can still dress like an Emperor if he wants. 

That’s fine. 

♪ now there’s more art  

  • like painting with less colours 
  • collaborative poetry
  • plays
  • monkey fun
  • tea parties 
  • gardening 
  • architecture
  • FLOWERS.

its time for– 

~who’s going to be the next shogun?~

Usually its the Shogun’s kid.
But the Shogun doesn’t have a kid so he tries to get his brother to quit being a Monk and be the next Shogun.  

He says “ok"

But then shogun has a kid. 

So now who’s it gonna be?

~vote now on your phones!~

And everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. 

The Shogun actually didn’t care

he was off somewhere doing poetry. 

And the whole country broke into pieces.
Everyone is fighting with each other for local power and 

its anybody’s game.

knock knock. 

its Europe. 

No, they’re not here to take over (yet)
They just wanna sell some shit, like clocks and guns

and ♪ Jesus

so thats cool.  

but everyone’s still fighting each other for control. 

~now with guns~

and wouldn’t it be nice to control the capital?  
Which right now is puppets with no one controlling them

This clan is ready to make a run for it.
But first, they have to trample this smaller clan which is in the way.  

~surprise~

smaller clan wins and the leader of that clan steals the idea of invading the capital and invades the capital and it goes very well.  

He’s about halfway through conquering Japan when someone who works for him, kills him and then someone else who works for him, kills them 

and that guy finishes conquering Japan.  

and then he confiscated everybody’s swords, and made some rules.  

“and now I’m going to invade Korea, and then hopefully China” 

he said and failed and also died.  

But before he died he told these five guys to take care of his five year old son until he’s old enough to be the next ruler of japan

And the five guys said,  

“yeah, right. its not gonna be this kid, its gonna be one of us, cuz we’re grown ups.“ 

And it’s probably gonna be this guy who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others. 

A lot of people support him but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight, and he wins and starts a new Government

right here. 

♪ Edo

and he still lets the Emperor dress like an “Emperor” and have very nice things. But don’t get confused, this is the new government and they’re very strict. 

So strict they closed the country

No one can leave and no one can come in

Except for the dutch because they wanna buy and sell shit but they have to do it right here

Now that the entire country is not at war with itself,
the population increased a lot. 

  • business increased 
  • schools were built
  • roads were built 
  • everyone learnt to read
  • books were published 
  • there was poetry
  • plays
  • sexy times
  • puppet shows 

and dutch studies.

People started to study European science from books they bought from the Dutch

we’re talking– 

  • geography, 
  • skeletons, 
  • physics, 
  • chemistry, 
  • astronomy,  
  • and maybe even electricity. 

Over time the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow do–

knock knock. 

its the united states.
with huge boats with guns, 

gunboats. 

“open the country. Stop having it be closed.”
said the United States. 

Theres really nothing they could do so they signed a contract that lets United States, Britain and Russia visit Japan anytime they want. 

Chōshū and Satsuma hated this. 

“that sucks.” they said. 

“this sucks!!!!” 

And with almost very little outside help, they overthrew the shogunate and somehow made the emperor the emperor again and moved him to Edo which they renamed, Eastern Capital

they made a new government which was a lot more western. 

they made a new constitution that was pretty western. 

and a military that was pretty western. 

And did you know what else was western?
Thats right, its conquering stuff. 

So what can we conquer?
Korea, they conquered Korea. 

Taking it from its previous owner, China.
and then go a little bit further and Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, 

“stop, no, you can’t take that.
We were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water.” 

and Russia builds their railroad supervised by a shit ton of soldiers. 

and then when the railroad was done they downgraded to a fuck ton. 

Did i say downgrade?

I meant upgrade. 

And Japan says, 

“can you maybe chill?”

and russia says, 

“How About Maybe You Chill?” 

Japan is kinda scared of Russia.
You’ll never guess who’s also kinda scared of Russia. 

Great Britain. 

So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be 

a little less scared of Russia. 

Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia.
Just for a moment.
and then they both get tired and stop. 

♪ it’s time for World War 1 

The World is about to -Have A War-

Because its the nineteen hundreds and weapons are getting crazy.
and all these Empires are excited to try them out on each other. 

Meanwhile Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants– 

more. 

and the next thing on their list is this part of China and lots of tiny islands

And all of that stuff belongs to Germany which just had war declared on by Britain because Britain is friends with Belgium which is being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France’s ass because France is friends with Russia who is getting ready to kick Austria’s ass because Austria is getting ready to kick Serbia’s ass because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria’s ass or– 

actually shot on the head. 

and Britain is currently friends with Japan so you know what that means. 

Duh, ♪ Japan should take the islands 

which they wanted to do anyway. 

So they called Britain on the tele(gram) to sort of let them know.
and then they did it, and they also helped Britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. 

Now the war is over. 

Congratulations japan!

You technically fought in the war, which means you get to sit at the negotiating table with the big dudes where they decided who owns what. 

And yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany, you also get to join the, Post-War Mega alliance– 

♪ the League of Nations 

Whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. 

The great depression is bad and Japan’s economy is now crappy.  
But the military is doing just fine and it invades Manchuria and the league of nation’s just like– 

“No don’t do that, if you’re in the league of nations you’re not supposed to take over the world.”  

and Japan said “♪ How bout I do anyway? ” 

And Japan invaded more and more and more and, more of China.  

and was planning to invade the entire east!

~You got mail~

Its from Germany.
the new leader of Germany,
he has a cool moustache
and he’s trying to take over the world

and needs friends. 

This also got forwarded to Italy, 

they all decided to be friends because they had so much in common. 

♪ it’s time for World War 2 

Germany is invading the neighbours.
Then they invade the neighbour’s neighbours.
Then the neighbour’s neighbour’s neighbours who happened to be Britain said, “holy shiit”
and United States started helping Britain because they are  

♪ good friends 

and started not helping Japan because  

♪ their friends and our friends are not friends 

plus they’re planning on invading the entire ocean 

The united states is also working on a large very huge bomb.

bigger than any other bomb, ever™.  

Just in case.  

But they still haven’t joined the war.  
War looks bad on TV and united states has really started to care about their image. 

But then Japan spits on them in Hawaii,

and challenges them to war. 

and they say yes, and then Germany

as a symbol of friendship, 

declares war on the United States also.  

So the United States goes to war in Europe.
and they help the gang chase Germany back into Germany.  
and they also start chasing Japan back into Japan.
And they haven’t used the bomb yet and are curious to see if it works.  

So they dropped it on japan.  

they actually dropped two. 

United States installed a new Government, inspired by the United States Government.  
with just the right ingredients for a 

♪ post-war economic miracle 

And Japan starts making  

  • TVs  
  • VCRs
  • automobiles 
  • and camcorders 

as fast as they can and also better than everybody else.

they get rich and the economy goes wild and then the miracle wears off.

But everything’s still pretty cool i guess. 

♪ bye 

——–

i did it. Thank you Bill Wurtz for this wonderful masterpiece. 

BECAUSE–

also p.s.: i sincerely apologise if someone has already made a whole transcript of this. pls u can hire a samurai against me if u wan 2 ;A;

dildolaurus  asked:

Do you have any thoughts on the current 'left over' crew of Ryan, Jack, and Jeremy (& Matt because I love him)? Any FAHC headcanons for their particularly biting, competitive, yet kind dynamic?

So Geoff’s got some business outside Los Santos, no more than a couple of weeks worth but it really can’t be avoided any longer. He’s taking Gavin, wants him to work a little networking magic, and for muscle they’ve got Michael - if Geoff’s taking half the crew with him he might as well make it the pair most likely to cause a ruckus when left to their own devices. Between Jack and Lindsay those left behind couldn’t be in better hands, and with Ryan and Jeremy to throw their weight around and the whole of the support crew in action it didn’t even cross Geoff’s mind that there would be any problems. Honestly, what’s the worst that could happen? 

The plan was to kind of lay low, prepare, resupply, tie up loose ends and more or less maintain until the rest of the crew returned. This was a good plan, sensible, except for the fact the fact that certain members of the FAHC find it wildly impossible to lay low. Members who walk around in garish Hawaiian shirts, or unmistakable rubber skulls, or the overwhelmingly nauseating combination of purple and orange, for example. 

  • Jack, Ryan and Jeremy take about two days of calm before they start poking at hornet’s nests, not quite ready to flat out ignore Geoff’s requests and pick up a big job themselves but perfectly willing to more or less dare anyone else to come after them, to start something just to keep them entertained. 
  • There is an at first unspoken, later explicitly sworn to agreement that no matter what was happening, any time Geoff called to check in they all said it was fine. Great in fact, the absolute best, no need to rush home, no need to come home at all. Everything’s fine, no that’s absolutely not the sound of screaming, must be on your end boss. 
  • Jack and Ryan are the best of friends right up until the moment that they hate each other’s guts and want nothing more than to cause each other suffering. Jack has truely mastered the art of antagonising Ryan, can drive him right into true rage; snappish and rude and so far from the clinically methodical temper of the Vagabond, though she does her best to confine her needling to moments when they’re not working. In return Ryan can press Jack’s every button and has no qualms about doing it right in the middle of job, crankily ignoring Jack’s suggestions even to his own detriment purely out of spite, leaving Jack shouting increasingly panicked commands over the comms while Ryan intentionally picks out a longer, more dangerous path; the king of cutting off his nose to spite his face. 
  • Jeremy brings home a dog. It’s hardly the first animal he’s brought back to the penthouse, hell Gavin smuggle’s cats in all the time, but it is the first time he’s done it when there was no one around to stop him. The dog’s a menace, big and dumb and entirely untrained but between Jack, Ryan and Jeremy no one’s got the heart to get rid of it. Three of the most dangerous people in the city spend half a week rushing around trying to accommodate the every need of a giant mutt, and another half hopelessly moping when the support crew steps in and whisks the dog off to find a more suitable home. 
  • In the absence of any large-scale jobs to manage they resort to more base forms of entertainment. There are car races and boat races and jet races, there are dares and bets and odd experiments. There’s a poker tournament that had to be called off when the rampant cheating and angry threats got a bit too real, and an entire incident of public indecency that everyone swears to never speak of again. 
  • While it’s normally a job for one or two members of support, when the usual weapon resupply rolls around and nothing else is happening the entire crew decides to go together like a sick parody of a family excursion. They more or less traumatise the arms dealer while collecting all the usual bits and pieces, then a laughing Jack promises everyone one special toy for good behaviour; most go for new guns or special bullets but Ryan picks out a pair of wickedly curved knives, Jeremy clutches an enormous grenade launcher, Matt find’s a ridiculously impractical axe, Trevor’s got some terrifying looking metal trap and Jack and Lindsay buy matching cat-printed knuckle dusters. 
  • Bored without the other Lads to play with Jeremy takes Matt and Trevor out on a job with him, a bit of simple information extraction; catch a guy, knock him about, don’t even have to kill him afterwards so long as he sings. It couldn’t have been easier. It does not go well. Trevor disappears almost as soon as they begin, peeling off into the darkness of the warehouse so quietly Jeremy’s talking to himself for a solid minute before Matt points it out. A shakey start indeed, and things don’t improve; unlike doubling down on the bad cop act with Michael, or even bouncing terror around with Gavin, trying to conduct an interrogation with Matt as his backup is more a comedy of errors than anything else. While he does eventually talk, their victim spends far more time laughing in disbelief than he does actually fearing them, though in the end he pays for it. When Jeremy turns his back to sort out Matt almost chopping his own hand off with the damn axe he’d insisted on bringing along Trevor slinks back out and slits the man’s throat, messy and unnecessary, with far too much quiet self-satisfaction to be anything but entirely unsettling.
  • By the time Geoff, Michael and Gavin roll back into town its to find the FAHC engaged in an all out war against a neighbouring gang. To the home-team’s defence, the gang had already been on the Fake’s shit list, and after catching wind that they’d been torturing civilians and peddling to kids what else could they do really? The fact that the Fake’s discovered all the awful ins and outs only after invading the other crew’s territory was circumstantial at best. 
Black & White ★/ chapter one.

teen, 2789 words
also on ao3
summary: Jack Kelly’s an artist. And Davey Jacobs? Well. He’s art.
warnings: some internalized transphobia 
a/n: shoutout to @bisexualninej for so much help. i just. love these two and i couldn’t resist writing these trans boyfriends


Jack doesn’t like the idea of crushes. Mostly because he doesn’t understand them. Like, just because someone is beautiful and nice and kind, that means Jack has to suddenly be able to think of nothing else? What’s the point of that?

Jack can count on one hand the amount of crushes he’s had. He’s dated a lot of people, kissed even more, fucked less people than others would assume he has. But crushes? Honest to god liking someone? Not his thing. Jack Kelly isn’t about that life. And yes, he did just phrase it like that.

Which is why Jack is hesitant to call what he feels for David a crush. That? Would not make sense. They’ve literally talked twice and both times have been brief - small talk in every sense of the phrase. But… well? Jack definitely does feel something, something he doesn’t feel around others.

Not that any of that matters. Because even if it is a crush - which it’s not, okay? - it’s not like Jack is going to do anything about it. If Jack met David at a party, he probably would have pursued him, made out with him, and then that would be it. The end.

Instead, Jack has to see him every Thursday. Jack feels like this is some kind of cliche - having a crush (wait, no, not a crush!) on the model for his figure drawing class. Thankfully there hasn’t been any nudity. Jack has a feeling that’s coming and he has a feeling he’ll be sick that day.

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I’ll Be Good - Part 1

Masterlist  -  Series Masterlist  -  Part 2

Summary: You’re an old colleague of Natasha’s who finds herself face to face with the Winter Soldier on the wrong end of an Avengers’ op.

Warnings: swearing (honestly shocked I haven’t sworn already), mild violence

Word count: 1700 (is it lucky that my first post is 1700 even?!)

Author’s Note: I have had a spectacularly awful day and have decided that I might as well let my b.barnes tumblr go down with the ship. So I’m posting my first ever attempt at a fic. I have written 3 parts and stared at them with trepidation for a week. Pt 3 is my fav., so I’ll post at least that much unless you all tell me there are enough self-indulgent non-writers out there and I need to stop now.

Tags: is this a joke? why the hell do I even have a tags section? I can’t believe I’m doing this…
@marvelatmytrash because you’re a lovely human being an Imma need your encouragement (or to gently put me out of my misery)
@thedragonblood because you once posted for your followers to tag you and I’m sorry, be careful what you wish for.

Here goes…


This was a pretty simple mission. The interrogation last week had been fruitful and the small team were now en route to the drop off site. It was an illegal weapons trade, their goal was to stop it and capture the leaders. They had the most adept team available and it should have been simple – Clint was pilot and as usual the tactical eyes in the field. Bucky and Nat would take out the security, clearing a path for Steve to apprehend the organizers. Routine.

They landed in a heavily wooded area a mile from the site of the deal. The four of them left the jet and started making their way in when a long-range shot skimmed a nearby tree. As the team ducked for cover, Natasha examined the fresh wound on her left arm just inches above a very similar scar she had obtained a few years earlier. “Shit,” she mumbled thinking If that was Y/N, that was a warning shot, and Y/N won’t be so generous with the rest of my team.

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