shit google says

Michael: Here’s the thing I’ve always thought, having a… uh… fine unit. But, like, whenever anyone’s like, “I’m gonna elaborate on how big my dick is.” Just take it out. Let me see it. Just whip it out. That’s it right there, you’re done. […] If you have a big wiener, you know, bust it out, otherwise shut up. […] If someone in this office—if a dude came up to me, post-this podcast—and said, like, “Ah, fuckin’, [my dick] is named this.” I’d be like, “Show me right now.” […] Listen, I’ve been watching porn for a number of years—I’ve seen so many wieners—it wouldn’t bother me at all. If someone came up to me and they’re like, “I’m fucking huge.” I’d be, like, more curious and be like, “I wanna see it.”

first of all, this whole conversation is GOLD

second of all, frat au lunael :)

trying to read huma/harry hook fanfics is a total lottery as to whether the author can write an accurate scottish accent or just goes for every over the top scottish stereotype they’ve ever heard


otp challenge
captain swan + quote: ❝ You are in my very soul, tormenting me.

An Ace problem we don’t talk about: Going to the OB/GYN.

So, my mom had to go for a checkup after having my brother, so she scheduled my first OB/GYN visit at the same time (I was 21 years old).  I go there and they take me into a room to ask me questions in private.  

1st Question: Are you sexually active?

Answer: No, still a virgin.

The woman puts down her pen, “Then why are you here?”

Um, excuse me?  EXCUSE FUCKING ME?! I was so put off by a professional asking why I am seeing a doctor because I am NOT sexually active.  

Firstly, if you google this shit, it says to go between 13-15 for a first visit and then at 21 for a thorough visit, REGARDLESS OF SEXUAL ACTIVITY.  So, why the fuck are you telling me that you cannot do anything because I haven’t had sex?  She seriously told me I should just leave.

So secondly, I tried to keep my cool and explained that I had highly irregular periods (getting them sometimes only twice a year) and that I was worried I might have breast cancer in one boob because it was visibly half the size and there was sometimes pains.  So, yeah, NO reason at all to come here.

She seemed annoyed as she continued the questions and then told me to leave.  Due to this stupidity, they had me rehydrate so they could do an ultrasound since I was a virgin.  If this was an option from the start, why not do this?  Why make is seem like I was the first virgin to ever show up to an OB/GYN?

Anyway, long story short, they discovered I have PCOS.  So yeah, I should never have went there as a virgin because what could they possibly do or find out?  

Let me set this straight: being 13, 22, 40, or 60 and not sexually active/still a virgin should not give anyone the right to turn you away from a medical examination.  We have every right to our health and bodies, no matter our choices or who we are.  

I never want to go back again due to this experience and I hope it never happens to anyone else.

anonymous asked:

It makes me feel sick that I'm going to have to vote for Hillary in November. I can't let trump win, and I need to vote Dem, but as a victim of sexual assault and a Native American, it disgusts me that i once again have to choose between two people who simply do not care about my demographic. Both Hillary and trump have recently done very anti-native racist things, and I'll have to vote for the more progressive agenda but nevertheless one that still doesn't include me or my people.

okay i don’t think you’ve done your homework. i know Hillary Clinton used an outdated phrase to refer to Trump as being out of his mind that is actually denigrating toward Native Americans, and i get being upset about that, but i think it’s unfair to say that because Clinton used that phrase to say she doesn’t care about Native Americans; she was ignorant and tone-deaf. it’s possible for people to not really understand the etymology of a word or phrase. i didn’t understand until a couple years ago or so that “gypped” was derogatory toward gypsies. i’d hate for someone to assume that meant i’m a terrible human being that hates Romani people.

if you just did a simple google search or looked at her website, you would see that she actually has proposals address and help Native Americans. i’d copy and paste for you but there’s actually a lot, so you’ll have to click on the link and follow through. but for example, she wants to:

  • improve education for Native American kids
  • improve health care for Native Americans
  • combat drug and alcohol addiction in the Native American community
  • protect Native American women against rape and violence (example of how HRC cares about sexual assault and women, too!)

now, how much of that will she actually carry out as president or be able to? i don’t know. i understand if you feel like she’s not doing enough, and it’s absolutely true that overall the American government largely doesn’t do a lot to help Native Americans and arguably hurts them, even. but to say she hasn’t included the Native American community or your demographic in her platform is just inaccurate.

furthermore, to assert that Hillary doesn’t care about protecting women or combating sexual assault in this country–actually, around the world, is a flatout lie. she has built her entire career on helping women and children. looking at her proposals as president, she has a whole issue dedicated to campus sexual assault specifically:

“Hillary will ensure that every campus offers survivors the support they need—no matter their gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or race. Those services—from counseling to critical health care—should be confidential, comprehensive, and coordinated.”

“Hillary believes we need a fair process for all involved, whether that’s in campus disciplinary proceedings or in the criminal justice system. This includes providing all parties involved with notice and transparency in campus disciplinary proceedings, and ensuring that complaints filed in the criminal justice system are treated seriously.”

“Hillary believes we need to redouble our prevention efforts and start them earlier. She will increase sexual violence prevention education programs that cover issues like consent and bystander intervention—and she’ll make sure we have programs not only in college, but also in secondary school.”

but all along she’s been fighting for women. this isn’t pandering, this isn’t just a new issue for her. as secretary of state, she was particularly concerned with helping women and children in war zones. she condemned countries and armies that used rape as a tool of war. she enacted peacekeeping resolutions to protect these women and children. when she was First Lady, she supported the creation of the  Department of Justice’s Office on Violence Against Women–and let’s not forget her famous “women’s rights are human rights” speech, if you doubted her commitment to women and the unique issues they deal with. as senator she co-sponsored the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act. she introduced the CARE Act twice to help rape and incest victims, and “in response to the spike in reports of sexual assault cases in the military, she introduced legislation to make emergency contraception available to servicewomen.”

meanwhile, Trump has no proposals to help Native Americans or sexual assault victims.

Hillary Clinton is not like Donald Trump at all. she is not “the lesser of two evils.” stop comparing them. i’m sick of people acting like the Democratic party and the Republican party are more or less the same. they’re not. the truth is a Democratic president will do what she can to help American people while a Republican president will build walls and deport people and hurt women and allow laws currently protecting oppressed people like POC and LGBTQ to be overturned by a hateful conservative mostly white male Congress.

Apartment Status

So, tonight we are roasting a chicken (bc we decided we wanted one? idk it seemed like a good idea on sunday morning when we were planning out the week). 

The problem is Kara is working nights. She is the one who knows how to roast a chicken. Which means the three remaining people in this house are the ones that have NO IDEA how to roast a chicken.

is the skin brown enough yet? do we cover it? is it a problem that we just shoved random stuff into it? are we supposed to turn it? are we even cooking it on the right side? NO ONE KNOWS.

So, occasionally, we just open the oven, stare at it, ask one of the aforementioned questions and then everyone just shrugs and we close it without doing anything.