shit game but i love this pic

2

Bored, Steve sends badly photoshopped pics of him and Tony to his boyfriend randomly. 

Tony, who knows Steve’s skills, responds,  “Steve, I’ve seen the shit you make in photoshop, what even is this. And how did you get Paint on your tablet?”

Steve offended and still bored responds with only one thing: 

Even MORE outraged Tony, who is in the middle of an important SI meeting decides that two can play at this game. 

He angrily downloads the suckiest painting application onto his phone, and adds in his little (TRUE) edits to the picture: 

The response makes Steve smile but him being the little shit he is decides instead of playing nice he will come up with something even more original: 

As a final straw, and he can tell Pepper is glaring holes into his head, Tony responds with one last image with a text saying: “guess who’s sleeping on the couch tonight?” 

Steve’s response is to add the image collection to his online portfolio Tony had set up for him with a title as “My Greatest Master Piece” and a caption reading “To my beloved Tony who loves and supports me and EVERYTHING I make.” 

Needless to say Steve slept on the couch longer than just one night. 


you know who you are: @ilunabarrean, @justpalindrome, @antonystvrk, @whatthepatrick

anonymous asked:

whats wrong with saying lenin was bad? hh

Nothing for the most part, but the context and implication (and especially the imagery) is important.

Images of communists like Lenin with the ominous background, red shade, bloodstained hammer and sickle, and reference about famous communist death tolls is most often created by devout anti-communists or your average internet fascist thats more intetested in the spectacle of the association of communists and death than making legit critiques (or a tasteful jab) against a communist.

And more recently, this same propaganda has been peddled by various anarcho-communists on the world wide web without realizing the source of the material. Or even if they’re anarchist-made, to the unaware: whether it be the common liberal or the non-wellread leftist, this reaffirms the idea that “yeah Lenin is bad because death and his inefficiency, therefore all leninists of all varieties regardless are all bad too.”

Propaganda like that weakens public interest in the left or any cooperation between various leftists. Plus, and this should be a given, any anti-communist propaganda (well in this case anti-lenin), although may have been created by anarchists, can attract the wrong sort of attention (ie actual fascists liking what you post) because of your use of imagery.

Shit like that is what made me hate Leninists (or any non-anarchist communist) and assumed they were all 100% the same when I first became an anarchist.

Now if we’re talking juicy critiques of lenin then yeah sure im game. If we’re talking juicy jokes and quality memes about lenin then heck yeah i love that pic of lenin’s face on patrick from spongebob asking him to give power to the local soviets but he does everything to avoid it. If we’re talking about the bad shit of the ussr then (so long as we got our history right) then yeah lemme in. But all of these critiques and whatever else needs to be handled carefully–or at least not in the obnoxious way of drawing a bloody hammer and sickle, a scary lenin, and a textbox that associates varied ideologies of communism and its proponents with death.

All of that mimics the average fascist propaganda of what communists are like. And posting that shit reaffirms that idea to the unaware. If you wanna make fun of lenin and say hes bad, just do it in a way that doesnt mimic the average fascist and mccarthyist understanding of communism.

If you wanna fuck around with another communist, just do it in a better way that doesnt mimic the same methods used by the assholes we all collectively hate.

The Signs as Guys I’ve Had Things With

Aries: He and I are literally the same person. He is super precious and adorable. His music taste is fucking amazing. Has a contagious smile. LITERALLY THE NICEST HUMAN EVER! He’s my favorite. He loves cars and it’s the cutest thing ever.

Taurus: This fool is literally wild! He’s one of my best friends now. Got hella drunk at a party when he found out I didn’t like him. Kinda taught me how to drive. He also owes me $5 for a milkshake from Denny’s. Likes to have deep conversations. He gets shook everytime I have the aux cord because he thinks my music is the shit.

Gemini: Very closed off and couldn’t really hold on a conversation. Posts very confusing Snapchat stories. Likes to boast about his current girlfriend even though they’ve never met. Stood me up even though I saw him where we were supposed to hang out at the same day.

Cancer: Super sweet kid. He is super frustrating sometimes because he likes to piss people off on purpose. One of my closest friends now. I always catch him staring at my boobs. Texted me last night saying: “Can I have one titty pic?”

Leo: He was 6′4 and thought he was the shit. Lied to me about loving Game of Thrones and said he watched the first season on Netflix, UM EXCUSE ME BITCH Game of Thrones has never been on Netflix. Missed me with that shit. He loved to send unwanted dick pics. His dick is crooked af. Only talked to me when he wanted.

Virgo: We talked for like 2 weeks  and he stopped when I wouldn’t send nudes. Works at the movie theater. He still has a thing for me and he wants to fuck. Gives off a creeper type vibe. He was hella following me at the last party I was at. Lowkey think he tried to get me drunk.

Libra: Super strange kid. Like he and really vibed together but I always got a creeped out feeling from him. He seems to think my personality changes a lot and loves that about me. Thinks my boobs are fake. Smokes hella weed and gets drunk at work.

Scorpio: BIGGEST PERV EVER! Takes everything I say and turns it sexual. Likes to hit on almost every single girl. Gets offended if you don’t like his music. Thinks he’s hella funny, but he’s not. For some reason, if you mess with him you get instant karma?

Sagittarius: Very boring at conversation. Had a mediocre YouTube channel. He worked at Best Buy. Thought I was hilarious. His car got broken into at In-N-Out and his drone was stolen. Now to me, that was a sign telling him to stop making those shitty YouTube videos but he didn’t agree.

Capricorn: This kid made a lot of death jokes and it got concerning. He and I shared a mutual obsession with Jake Gyllenhaal. Had Daddy issues. He was 6′5 and worked at a pizza place. Loved his Subaru a little too much.

Aquarius: Very into loyalty. He’s one of my best friend now. Calls his friends his family. Love him very much but didn’t pursue it because I didn’t want to ruin the friendship. 

Pisces: Shyest human in the world. Very caring but makes not one bit of sense. Asked me “if it hurt when I fell from heaven”. Loves Taco Bell. He protected me from a creepy kid in our class. Only person to ever ask me if I was okay when I wasn’t. Kind of a hoe.

2

favourite scenes: all for the game by nora sakavic

Neil stopped counting.
“You know, I get it,” Neil said. “Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you’re worth a damn off the court—yeah, sounds rough.Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time.”
“Neil,” Kevin said, low and frantic.
Neil ignored him. “I know it’s not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur,and I know you’re physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don’t think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago. So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone.”
Jaws dropped up and down the line;
Raven symmetry shattered as they stared at Neil in stupefied disbelief. Riko’s expression could have frozen hell, but Neil was too upset to be afraid. He’d have a nervous breakdown later. Right now he leaned forward and looked down the table at Dan, who sat with her face buried in her hands.“Dan, I said please. I tried to be nice.”

this is for @jackerouac just because she’s lovely,,

anonymous asked:

Hi dad i just saw that ask where you said you wanted a gamer au! Please make it happen! And also love your work

PROFESSIONAL LEAGUE OF LEGENDS OTP THAT MEET AT MID SEASON MATCHES AND TOTALLY ARE HEART EYES AT EACH OTHER ACROSS THE STAGE!!!!!!!

Yoongi is the very famous Jungle for a North american team who lives in California and is actually kind of like the old pro player while Taehyung is a Mid lane player from one of Korea’s major teams and the new rookie face of LoL. 

Everyone thinks that they would hate each other or maybe there would be envy because Taehyung kind of lowkey stole the spot light and the role as an MVP player from Yoongi but when they meet though it’s actually kind of funny because Taehyung is a total fanboy. 

The younger walks in with his team and they are trying to look cool as fuck and like they don’t care they are a top team in the league but all that goes down the drain when Taehyung spots Yoongi talking to another player nearby. Taehyung breaks out into a slight jog/skip until he’s in front of Yoongi and his eyes are totally wide as he bounces in his place. 

“I KNOW THIS IS ODD BUT CAN YOU SIGN THIS FOR ME PLEASE!!?!” 

Yoogi does all while chuckling at how cute Taehyung is. 

“Aren’t you a pro player too kid? You ask every opponent you meet for their autograph?” 

Taehyung answers before even thinking about what he’s saying. “Only the hot ones.” 

Yoongi smirks at the way Taehyung’s face heats up and the way the younger’s face turns as red as the jacket he’s wearing. He wants to stay and tease Taehyung a bit more but his team mates are already calling him and letting him know they need to head on stage so he settles for kissing Taehyung’s cheek and winking as he walks away. 

“Good luck today, kid.” 


During that day both Yoongi’s and and Taehyung’s team of course do very well take down team after team like it’s nothing. It’s right before the last game of the day (Tae and Yoongi’s teams against each other) that they have both teams doing an interview. Each team member answers questions and the whole time they are talking Yoongi and Taehyung are staring at each other, completely ignoring everything around them. 

The interviewer seems to notice them and laughs. 

“Oh can we say there’s love in the air for certain players?” 

Everyone begins teasing them, since it’s known Yoongi is openly pansexual, and Taehyung again turns bright red when Yoongi casually shrugs. 

“There’s something in the air alright.” 

(cue fanboys and fangirls new otp tbh)


To everyone’s surprise it’s Taehyung’s team that wins first place and people assume Yoongi is going to be down about it but he’s actually smiling. 

“Good job cutie.” 

Taehyung lifts his head and giggles at Yoongi. 

“Thank you! Maybe you can take me out to celebrate?” 


When they actually begin dating it’s even cuter. 

Since Taehyung lives in Korea and Yoongi in California it gets a bit hard for them but they do their best. There are a lot of trips to visit each other during their off seasons and TONS of live streams of them playing together during those visits. 

One thing that is mega adorable and Taehyung loves is that the fans do fan art of their champions together and literally they each have a wall in their homes just filled with art sent to them. 

During one live stream, Taehyung doesn’t really feel like playing so the fans get to scream over watching Taehyung sit on Yoongi’s lap and nap while Yoongi does his best to play with his over grown puppy boyfriend on top of him. 


It’s highkey funny too how competitive they get on those rare occasions where they go against each other whe they meet up in competitions.  Taehyung likes to yell out at Yoongi telling him he’s going to lose while Yoongi rolls his eyes and flips him off. Everyone laughs because Taehyung responds by shooting Yoongi a heart and a kiss and Yoongi blushes all while still flipping Taehyung off. 


Though they don’t play the same role in their teams they still try to help each other as best as they can. They’ll play together even though Taehyung is back home in Daegu and Yoongi is still in California and it’s cute because Taehyung slips in and out of Korean while Yoongi answers in English. 

They play into the early hours of the night/morning and when they are going to go bed finally Taehyung lets out a cute yawn. 

“Saranghae Yoonie.” 

Yoongi smiles. 

“I love you, too Tae.” 


LONG SKYPE DATES THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THEM TALKING ABOUT LEAGUE OF LEGENDS RELATED THINGS BUT REALLY ARE SPENT WATCHING MOVIES AND LISTENING TO MUSIC TOGETHER UNTIL ONE OF THEM FALLS ASLEEP. They even do that cute shit where one of them will just play games and leave Skype open to occasionally watch them sleep in between playing games. (yoongi’s phone is filled with pics of sleeping tae tbh)


(i ran out of ideas idk fam it’s 5 a.m im sorry this was late just think about cute gamer bf’s that shit talk each other while they play and kiss each other in between games okay it’s soft)

Here is the Zola Story Transcribed

written by @zolarmoon on 10/28/2015

Y'all wanna hear a story about why me and this bitch here fell out???????? It’s kind of long but full of suspense

Okay listen up. This story long. So I met this white bitch at hooters. I was her waitress! She came in with this old ass big ass black dude. So you know as a hooters girl we have to talk to our customers. So I sit wit them & we get to talkin & she tells me she dances! So I’m like Oh yes bitch me too! Then she tells me this hulking black man is her sugar daddy. & I’m like oh yes bitch my SD at home. I feel it I feel it. So we vibing over our hoeism or whatever. & we exchange numbers!! & we like “next time u dance hum ima come dance wit you!” & they leave.

So THE NEXT DAY I get a text like “BITCH LETS GO TO FLORIDA!” & I’m like huh??? She’s like “I’m going to dance in Florida, let’s go!!” Now I’m skeptical like DAMN bitch we just met and we already taking hoe trips together???? BUT I had went to FL 2 months prior & made 15K. So lowkey I was down. So I was like “okay I’ll go. Who’s all going & when we leaving.” All this bitch says is “be ready by 8” So I call her like “bitch I SAID who’s all going!” & she says “my boyfriend & our room mate & my room mate has a place in Tampa ” So I’m like ok ok ok. I’ll be ready. So I pack my baddest stripper wear & I’m ready. Now my nigga DID NOT want me to go. He was soooooo hurt. So I had to fuck him calm, & then I left.

Now when I got in the car it was a white boy (her bf) & this hulking black guy (NOT the same one). So I texted her on the slick while in the backseat like “another sugar daddy? U got a type bitch!” & THE BLACL DUDE HAD HER DAMN PHONE!!! So he starts laughing & he goes “I’m using her GPS. no I’m not a SD I’ve known her & her dude for 8 years. We all live together..” So I was like “My bad. Who lives in Tampa?” & black dude (still aint told me his name) goes “my fiance” …so tht was it.

Now we on the road. The ride was cool. We all talking. Laughing. Blasting Gucci. I take a nap & wake up in FL…the black guy goes “Ima put y'all in a room then take yall to the club while I go visit my girl. Jarett (her white bf) will be at the room if y'all need a ride after work” ..sounds fair. BUT we don’t pull up to the four seasons bitch. We pull up to a raggedy ass motel. So I said REAL QUICK “I’m not staying here Hun” THERE WERE LITERAL PROSTITUTES STANDING WITH THEIR PIMPS OUTSIDE. I SWEAR TO GOD. I said “I have $. I can get my own room. It’s fine” so jessica (the white bitch) pulls me to the side & is like “we gone be at the club all night. This room for Jarrett not us! dnt even trip” So I was like yea bitch okay. But trust I am NOT laying my head here. So we leave our shit at the motel wit Jarrett & head to the club.

So we working. It was king of slow (it was early Friday night) the club had HELLA rules which I’m not use to (Ima full nude typa bitch). But this club require pasties & boy shorts & all this other shit..whatever. So after making about $800, I was ready to go. She was talking to some dude, tryna talk him out his wallet & they exchanged numbers. So I was like “call ur man. I’m ready!” ..she calls The black dude. I’m like ummm that’s not ur man but okay. So I pull her to the side before he pulled up like “wassup wit ur roommate?” And she was like we’re really close. Before I met Jarrett I was with him. He was taking care of me. I was like OHHH well I don’t need that. “Taking care of Me” in stripper language means that was her pimp. So I was like does Jarrett know? & she goes “of course not” …strike 1.

So then she goes “I didn’t make anything tonight. What u make because he’s gna ask” ..I said “umm that’s not yalls business Jess!” ..chill. So he pulls up & AS SOON as we get in he goes “what y'all make” we said at the same time “nothing” …so he goes damn my girl said she had a bad night too. We finna go pick her up. (His fiance who lives down here) ..we pick her up & he goes “nobody made shit. Y'all wanna trap?” Trap in stripper lingo means trick. So jessica goes “hell yea! U got some clients” im in the back on mute. He was like “u can get some!” So jess is like “yea i need to trap. But jarret is at the room!” & he goes “i wasnt putting yall in thay shit hole tht was for him not y'all"

Im still quiet….we pull up to a nice ass hotel on the other side of town & he goes “ill get the clients together & text yall off this” … He handed her a trap phone. So i am mind blown at this point. . So then we get to the room. Nice as fuck. Just me & jess & i start GOIN OFF. “BITCH U GOT ME FUCKED UP. IM NOT ABOUT TO PLAY WIT U HO. IM GOIN HOME” so she starts cryin & shes like “i didn’t wanna take this trip alone. Please dont leave me. I would be so scared alone” shes fucking sobbing. Im like oooommmmgggggg really?! Now im feeling bad for the ho. She goes “u can just check the guys in, he’s not gna force u to trap” i said “OH BITCH I KNOW HE NOT I KILL DEAD ASS KILL YALL” verbatim. So she cleans herself up & theres a knock at the door…i open the door & some fat white man goes “im here for the white girl”…. So I check his pockets, take his wallet & let him in…they start fucking RIGHT on the bed next to me. It was a fucking mess. A MESS.

So when they finished he gave her $100. I said “jess, u sellin puss for $100???? Pussy is worth thousands. U trippin” she goes “i dont. make the prices. The prices are already discussed before they come in. So i was like bitch no. If u gone do this. Do it right…. So i took some pics of her & put em on backpage. Along with a the trap phone # wit a MINIMUM of $500. The phone starts BLOWIN UP!!! I was like “se bitch. I got u a nigga comin up RIGHT NOW giving $500 for 15 mins” …he comes, i check him they get it in, he leaves. We are doing this ALL NIGHT!!! She fucked about 20 dudes and her sorry ass pimp only sent 3 of them

..so around 6am JARRET CALLS. She answers on speaker & he is going OFF!!!“WHERE TF ARE U & ZOLA?! The club BEEN CLOSED!” she goes “we went 2 another club cus it was slow” So im googling 24h clubs (FL has a few) tryna help her lie & he is NOT having it. Hes LIVID. He goes “if u went home wit a dude ur DEAD!” So he asks to speak to ME?! I was likr maaannn ima end up killin these crazy white niggas tonight. So he starts cursing ME out!!! “Where are yall! I kno she’s lying!! Dont be a ho like her zola!!” I said “i PROMISE you, im not” ..he hangs up on me & that was it. We didnt hear from him for the trst of the night. . We fall asleep.

A fee hours later the black dude (I STILL DONT KNOW HIS NAME) comes up. He’s like “how much u make lastnight” jess goes “5,500” i was like WTF WHY SHE TELLIN THE TRUTH?!?! I pimped her NOT HIM!!!! So he goes “wtf how? Thats good but i only sent u 3 clients” she goes “zola made me a backpage” i was like WOOOWOWOWOWOWOOWOW. here we go…. So he goes “u can do my job better than me?” I said “i was just helping her out. Irdc. Ur clients were cheap” he started laughing…. He goes “give me the money” she gave him ALL OF IT. & he goes “thanks zola. U a real one” & throws $500 at me….. I put that shit right in my bra. Tf. & jess goes, what about me? & he said “u owe me rent jess. U haven’t paid in months” i was like damnnnn.

So we leave & head to jarret & the ragedy motel. Cus our shit was there. As we pull up, jarrett chillin outside smoking weed wit some dude. PAY ATTENTION HERE!! We get out & walk up to them & jarrett goes “here they go” the pimp goes “HERE WHO GO LIL NIGGA, WHO DIS?!” Jarrett starts laughing & was like “he was asking me who i was here wit & i said my girl & her friends thats all. Chill out” … The guy jarrett was talkin to laughs & goes “ill catch u later man. Nice meeting u.” & leaves. He was a black guy wit dreads. A FL nigga. So we all go up to the room & the pimp is going OFF on jarrett. “U dont knoe these niggas!! I can’t believe u told him 2 bitches in here!!” & jarret goes “he asked why i was out here mad lastnight. All i said was my girl went to work wit her friend & i aint want her to!” Now the pimp SCREAMING “SO THAT NIGGA KNO ITS MONEY UP HERE NOW?! HELL NO. WE GOTTA GO!! NOW” me and jess are like . So we pack our shit & head out.

We went to a nicer hotel about 20 minutes away. So the pimp was like “zola keep a eye on jarrett!” I was like oh shit he den promoted me to look out & shit…so he leaves (to go back to his fiance at home) & jarret & jess start arguing. He was like “i know u was trappin jess. I saw the backpage add ho” and he shows her a screenshot..i was like OH SHIT. HERE WE GOOOO. So he starts cryin like a bitch. I was like wow. Hes like “i thought u were done wit this. I didnt come to FL for this. U messy”… Then he turns 2 me & goes “this what u came here for zola?!” I said “HELL NA jarret she lowkey set me up. Im not fuckin wit yall after this” He goes “wow u even set up ur friend. U such a ho” so they arguing for hours.

I leave & go down to the pool. I mean, i am in florida ! So MY MAN calls me! I lied & said everything was okay. I didnt want him worrying. I had a nice dinner & then the pimp calls the trap phone. I answer & hes like “since u a maadam & shit, do that shit again tonight. But set up outcalls only cus this hotel 2 nice 2 trap out of” I was like cool. I gotchu. Especially for another $500. So i go up to the room & told jess to get ready. Jarrett goes WTF AGAIN BITCH NO!!!! I said “jarrett calm down. Please” this white nigga starts PUNCHING HIMSELF!!!! Like crazy people do dawg!! I was like OH HELLLL NAWLLL. He goes “if u do this again jess. I will kill myself. I love u 2 much”..I was like this nigga lost in the sauce & his bitch lost in the game. So i said “jarret sit THE FUCK down. Jess come on so i can take some pics it’s already 10oclock. Yall playin” so i make her a fresh ad.

We come out the bathroom (i did her hair & makeup & shit) & jarret goes “everybody knows you a ho now. Fuck u. I wanna go home!” I said HUH? He throws his phone at her and its HER FACEBOOK!!! A status of BOTH ads!!!!! HER MOM IS ON THERE GOIN OFFFFFF in the comments!!! Jessica starts BAWLING!! “Omg. My mom had my daughter this week! How could u!! She on the floor literally breaking down” …i was like . So jessica calls the pimp & tells “JARRETT JUST PUT EVERYTHING ON FACEBOOK. MY WHOLR FAMILY SEES!” The pimp goes “I TOLD ZO TO WATCH HIM!!!” LITERALLY 5 mins later its the pimp BANGING at our door. He comes in wit his fiance this time. & snatches jarrett up by the neck. He wasted NO TIME!! He goes “i should really kill yo ass.” Jarrett is dangling off the ground crying “please dont please” ..lowkey im cryin. The fiance pulls out a handgun yall!!! She goes “u want to bae or what? Fuck him. He did OUR girl so wrong” i was like OH MY FUCKING GOD!

So now jess steps in “shes like please dont. Just beat his ass Z” i was like (oh his name z? Okay. Got it) so he puts him down…. Z goes. Naw i am gone kill his manhood though. . And he sits on the bed next to his fiance…he goes “sit in front of me jarrett”….. He does…still crying. He goes “delete the post. And give me ur phone” …he did..then he goes “come here jess” …i was so lost. His FIANCE unbuckled his pants and jess gets on her knees & starts sucking his dick IN FRONT OF JARRET AND I !!!!!! I was like YOOOOOOOOOO. He then gets up…and starts fucking jess from the back…jarret just sitting there…im standin wit my mouth to the FLOOR!!! The fiance right next to them wit a gun in her lap..i was like damnnnnn…

So then he gets up & says “go clean up jess. U gotta work” He looks at jarret & says “any questions?” Jarret says “i wanna go home”  i laughed out loud. I couldnt help it.. & z goes “na. Ima spend the night wit my girl so YOU gone take jess to her outcalls.” I was like DAMNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! Thats fucked bro. He goes “zola got the clients & addresses so yall can take her” & him & his fiance leave….the room is silent for the next 30mins. Swear. The first client calls & says he ready….so jarrett takes us. Z left a handgun but told me not to tell them. He slid it to me on the slick. He texted the trap phone like “im trusting u wit my bitch zola. If anything goes left. Use it” i was like WHAT?! NIGGA I CANT!!!

So anyway, jarrett took us to about 4 clients & then the phone was slow. Me & jarrett were in the car together while she was workin so we. Starting haviny deep convo. He really wasnt a bad dude. But he was bipolar. VERY bipolar…so I understood his outburst a little more. So we head back to the hotel & i flget this one last call late af. & the client says “i got 5,000 but i want 2 bitches” i said “oh sorry we. only have 1.” The client goes “well i got 2,000 for 1 but its 4 dudes..& we only do incalls” i was like wow. Whut?? So i text z & told him. He was like “hell yea, tell him come on.” So i set it up. Then last min the client goes “actually; out call is fine” & gives me a address. So we get in the car & head to the address….jess goes “its 4 of them can u just wait in the hall please” i was like bitch iight cmon.

So we head up to the room number they gave & jess knocks. A dude goes “who is it” & she says “incall” the door FLINGS OPEN FAST AS FUCK. AND TWO BIG BLACK DUDES SNATCHED JESS!!!!! Bitch….i ran so got damn fast i couldnt even see straight. I was OUT!!! Fuck that. I run out and THE CAR IS GONE!!! Im screaming “JARRETT!!!JARRETTT!!” This fool gone. So i call him, STILL RUNING & he like “yall done?!” I said “BITCH Z TOLD U TO NEVER LEAVE US!! WHERE ARE U!!” Hes like “im at the gas station. I was thirsty. I though she was gone be a min” Im STILL RUNNING. lmfaooo. Dont know WHERE im going. Im like “they snatched her dude!! COME GET ME. IM CALLIN THE POLICE!!!”

He pulls up a minute later & is like “dont call the police. Call z” i was like “z gone BEAT EVERYBODY ASS!! YOU WASNT SUPPOSED TO LEAVE!” & he’s like “well YOU have the gun. If u call the cops u done too!” I was like shit. U right. So I called z & told him what happened! Z IS LIVID!!! and this deep african accent comes out!! I couldnt even understand him on the phone. I was like maaaannnnn. We dead bro. So z pulls up & is like “let’s go..” I said “ummm ima stay here. Yall go” he goes “IM NOT IN THE MOOD RN. COME TF ON!!!!” So we all go. Me & jarrett on the side of the hall where u cant see & z knocks on the door! ..a man goes “who is it” z goes “where my bitch man?!” Jessica SCREAMS. & the voice says “aint no bitch in here bruh” i was like oh. My. God…z goes “open the door” ….guess who opens the door. THE NIGGA WIT DREADS THAT JARRETT WAS SMOKIN WIT AT THE RUN DOWN MOTEL!!!!!!!!!

I WAS LIKE YOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So he goes “come in & check.” To z. Z motioned for us to stay hidden. THANK GOD. So he goes in the room & dread head there by himself rn. Z sits on the bed wit his strap out & goes “where she at man?” Dreads goes “well since she wants to steal work frm my girls. She clearly wants to be here wit us….(we still dont see jess) so z goes to the closet and bust the door in & she in there. Tied up. Knocked tf out. Dreads goes "i got 20K for her right now man & all is forgiven” z said “we made more then 20k this weekend alone. Get outta here!” So dreads goes “my dudes downstairs not gone just let u walk out wit her like that” & z said “we’ll see” …mind u i can barely see. Im around the corner. So i just hear everything…

next thing i know i hear some shuffling & a gun goes off..once again I TAKE OFF. But i took off down the hall threw the back!! Jarrett wasnt far behind & then we look behind us & z is runnin too wit jess over his shoulder. He throws jess in the car & hops in the drivers seat! I hopped in wit him & jarret hopped in the other car & we got the fuck ON. Im cryin. I said “wtf happened?!” He goes “that nigga reached for his piece. I shot him in the face man” i was like OHHHMMAAAGAWDDD. We got back to our hotel, packed our shit & checked out.

We went to z and his fiances condo…nice as FUCK by the way.. Jess is up now & she tells us what happend. Apparently they recognized her from the motel & set her up (clearly) & once they snatched her. They told her to trap for them & she said no. So they beat her ass….thats what z interrupted when he knocked so they knocked her out…. I was like…..I REALLY gotta go home yall. Sorry to kill the mood but i cant take nomore of this. Jarrett was like “same” Z’s fiance was in the kitchen counting money dawg. Just like a rich ho. So z was like “everybody get some sleep. I gotta get rid of this” (Talkin about the gun) so he leaves…we all try to get some sleep.

The next morning he comes in wit tickets for me & jarrett. Jarrett goes “im not leaving jess here. Not after last night. She has a daughter & needs to come home” z was like “na we making money” I was like wooooww wit a black eye & busted lip & some FL niggas looking for yall u STILL tryna trap? Crazy. I was like “WELL IM READY!” Jess goes “itll be ok jarrett. I’ll be home in 3 days” jarrett started wit that punching himself shit again…i was like mannn. Here we go. Jarrett goes “come with me or im killing myself” z was like “ugh. Not this shit again. Ill be in the car. Yall 2 hurry up!”

So jarrett is literally breaking down. U ever seen someone hysterically crying? Its intense. & jess tryna calm him. . Im at the door ready. Jarrett randomly stops crying. Instantly. Like some movie shit. & goes “so u arent comin?!” Jess said “no jarrett. I cant” this nigga jarret. RUNS TOWARDS THEIR BALCONY & JUMPS!! I swear to GOD. bible. He fucking jumped. I screamed SO LOUD my heart stopped. Jess runs towards the balcony & this nigga jarrett was hanging. He didn’t fall all the way. He was stuck by his pants. THANK GOD!!!! We were only on the 4th floor but he still wouldve died. It was a good drop. So jess is helping him & i call z lmfaoo. Still crying. I was like “jarrett is stuck. He tried to jump off ur balcony” z was like “WHAT IS WRONG WIT THIS NIGGA!! FAMILIES LIVE HERE BRO WTF”

So z came up, helped get him. Slapped the fuck out of him (literally) & physically guided him to the car…jess comes out & goes. “I swear I didn’t set u up Zola. I never intended for u to trap. Thats why u didnt! I hope we can be friends after” . I looked at her like she wasn’t speaking English & i said “im not gone beat yo ass rn bcus u already in bad shape. But i better not ever see or hear from you again” & she walked away….z LITERALLY buckled jarretts seat belt lmfao. & we went to the airport.. Bare with me. It’s almost over.

When we landed in Detroit my man picked us up. We both looked HORRIBLE. so washed up & tired. My man was like “who is this white boy & wats wrong wit yall” i said “babe. Neither of us r the same. Just tak him 2 his car & tak me home” We drop jarrett off & on the way home i told him everything. He couldnt even speak honestly. Check this out, this the last 4 tweets.

I get a collect call 4 days later from a jail in LAS VEGAS! It’s JESSICA! She goes “we got caught trappin in vegas & we all got arrested” I said “oh. Why u callin me?” She goes “z was wanted for kidnapping 15 underage girls & is linked to 6 murders including FL” I said “Florida? Muder? U have the wrong number!” She screams “ASK JARRETT TO BAIL ME OUT, He wont answer my collect call” I said “JARRETT??? U really have the wrong number” i hung up & called jarrett. He goes “yea i heard. Its on the news. Hes a huge trafficker” I found out later that jessica & his fiance played victim & said they were forced & z who’s name i cant pronounce was a african man & was. Wanted literally everywhere. He got sentenced to life & i hear jess is back in Detroit wit her mom & baby…. And thats the end of that. If u stuck wit that whole story you are hilarious lol.

6

I PRESENT TO YOU - THE ARCHEOLOGY AU
Aien and Miko Lavellan, dedicated students of archeology
Professor Solas somehow always knows the best places to dig - he says he’s just lucky
Dorian Pavus, anthropology specialist - give him a tooth and he will tell you how many times did that person take a shit in their life. Black sheep of a political family (who cares if he has ten PhDs and biggest book collection in Thedas)
SPOILER ALERT: they become best friends and do pokemon sleepovers

anonymous asked:

Hc about that camera jo carries around~ he starts taking pics of mitch and his powers and mitch makes shit float to take funny pics. then he takes one pic and mitch just looks Nice. And jo is like Processing the fact that he finds this Gross Man hot

bre aks down crying……..

that is the cutest thing i’ve ever heard oh my ogd……. i would love for Jonas just to take pictures of Mitch, they’re being weird dorks and doing stupid shit ofr the camera. It’s all fun and games..

UNTIL IT’S NOT

Oh my god Jonas finds Mitch so…… good. … attractive… but he’s like “Wh-” he wasn’t expecting to get hit with those Feelings

3

Outside of reblogging bomb ass pics, this is why I prefer Twitter over Tumblr. You can talk about the show and not get hit with people who bitch about how “trash” the show has gotten even though they won’t stop watching it and we can laugh at all the incest shit. On here you get hit with percentages and accused of sexually loving your own relatives. This website was so dope before the “I take everything too seriously” bitches took over.

ITS A FUCKING TV SHOW.

CHRIS BROWN IS THE FUCKING BEST!

Let me tell y’all about this pop up show! He has this shit set up like an old town, you really feel like your heart broken in a lonely town! That’s not IT! Chris made all the drinks INCLUDING alcohol FREE and UNLIMITED to his fans. That’s not IT! My nigga has FREE food!!!! He had a photo booth where you can take pics with the heart and moon! Game booths and all! FREEEEE!!! HE FUCKING LOVES US!!!! who shuts down universal studios and make everything free!?!?!? BRUUUUH he not even on stage yet and I’m satisfied!! Music is lit!!!!!!! - Doreen

9

i was tagged to do the bias selfie tag thingy (?) by the unbelievably beautiful @haechan-haedamn (thanks bub!!)

I decided to choose my top 3 nct biases (the holy trinity; the 3 musketeers; the lees 😩)

now, you might be thinking,,, “ali, was it really necessary to make a damn moodboard out of you and your biases?”

to which the answer is yes, indeed it was. I can’t make decisions for shit and I had a hard enough time deciding what selfies of mine to use - let alone narrowing it down to just 2 pics per bias…..


anYWHO!! i’m gonna tag some precious individuals whose faces i’d love to be blessed with!!! (but ya don’t have to do it if ya don’t wanna!!!!!) @jae-yoonie @assjaehyun @houseofmonbebe @lai-gvanlin @thereisnofuckingreason @b00mingsystem @mystic-astro-trash @rook-10 @dangchanhee @secretlymadeoutofcups @holy-chanyeollie @renhyucks @peachyrenjun

anonymous asked:

Ooo I recognize that screenshot you posted to your inspo blog, it's from Outlast. I feel like a lot of things from that game can be related back to Matt lol especially the tearing ppl apart and the cannibalism

OMG PLSSSS.. I SEEN THAT PIC ON FLICKR AND NEEDED IT ON MY INSPO IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE IT’S MATT SO MUCH. 

i’ve never heard of this game thoooo. but i’d play the shit out of it because plsss if it has cannibalism in it then sign me the fuck up. i love playing anything with gore so much too ;-;;

4

Last year (November 10th, I think), I went to the USA v RUS game at Avaya Stadium with this girl I really liked. I didn’t know her that well, she was just in my English and AP Bio class. Still, paid for her ticket and everything! She bought me a pennant for my room and a pin for my iconic hat which has, like, twelve pins on it.

Sunday, we went to the USA v CAN game a little over a year after the USA v RUS game. It was weird.

Things change a lot in a year. We’ve been dating for nearly a year now, we’re seniors in high school now, shit’s REAL.

One thing that doesn’t change? Jesus Christ, how much I love soccer and Alex Morgan!! But sorry, Alex, some other girl has my heart. That was so damn headass.

Anyway, don’t steal these pics please lol!

!!!!! HOLY FUCKKK guys…thank u all so so much for sticking with this dumb shit holyy fuck.. I.. I don’t know how to thank u guys since I cant draw a thank u pic since art is hard but.. if u guys want anything just let me know!! whether it be another five day game w prompts or whatever idc this is a gift for yall love u all

cupnoodle-queen  asked:

baby's breath, windflower, dandelion 💙💜💛💜💙💚💛

GOOD MORNING BOO ;)

baby’s breath: 5 things you associate yourself with:
1. Lots and lots of snorty laughter and screaming. Good bad movies.
2. Cold nights in maxi dresses spent alone on the beach, toes dug into the cold sand, staring at the moon.
3. Peanut butter cup ice cream and David Bowie.
4. Colorful, sparkly eyeshadow looks.
5. Cameras, hiking or trekking into unknown territory for the sake of getting a good shot LOL

windflower: list 5 of your favorite blogs and explain why i like them (SCREAMS I’M MAKING IT TEN)
1. @insomniascure my absolute best friend of many, many years who is a fantastic shit-poster and an even better writer. She’s smart as hell and cute to boot. Literally not a damn thing to dislike about this gal. If you’re not following her, you are MISSIN’ OUT FAM. She’s got jokes. I have the utmost respect for her.
2. @cupnoodle-queen MISH, an absolute babe that also happens to be an amazing writer. Her smut goes straight to the c00t3r every time, and she is pretty much responsible for dragging me into gladihell. Also, she takes h o t pics of our boys in game and posts them for all of us to drool at. One of the first blogs I followed, no ragrats. A fucking funny as hell person, every interaction with her makes me happy. Also, she’s hot. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
3. @itshaejinju Another absolute babe with smutty deliciousness always at the forefront of her mind. Love this girl’s writing and her thirsty captions on just about all things LOL. An incredibly strong person who I admire. KILLS WITH HER LIPSTICK. SHIT GIVES ME LIFE.
4. @fieryfantasy such a lovely, sweet person. Her gifs were another reason for my descent into gladihell, an actual quality blog that has me sweatin’ because all I do is shit post. She also has a writing blog that I absolutely adore, always super sweet and sincere lil prompts @swords-light.
5. @noxfreyas An actual cinnamon roll of a person who may actually be the kinkiest bitch in history. Will we ever know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Another quality blog that has me sweatin’ because I shitpost way too much. Someone who actually gives a fuck about what you’re saying, makes you feel warm and soft and included. A queen.
6. @louisvuittontrashbags we only started talking recently but Y A L L I love this girl. Sharp wit and a wicked sense of humor, and absolute delight to interact with and her writing has me either laid tf out, dying of laughter or sweating in a public place like “oh shit why did I decide to read this here.” Churns out fuckin’ quality content at insane speeds. Absolutely sweet, only hope for the best for you, boo. 
7. @saphscribes An absolutely angelic walking meme with the fantastic, remarkable ability to completely ruin your life with their smut. I hardly knew who tf Pelna was and now, because of them, I want him to slam me on the ground with the intent to wreck dis POOSY. Seriously, though, writing so tender and sweet it’ll make you feel full and it might make you cry, but it’s the good kind of cry. I am shook every time. 
8. @themissimmortal SOMEONE GIVE THIS GIRL COR, STAT. She deserves it. SO SWEET, SO PURE, with a side so sinfully smutty you’ll be doing a spit take. Actually has the best voice on this website, would pay her to read me bed time stories for the rest of my life. ALSO, QUALITY CONTENT IS POSTED SO OFTEN. Idk how y’all do it holy shit omogmg
9. @blindbae A TRUE BABE THAT NO ONE IS WORTHY OF. Always posts quality writing and aesthetics that make my artsy fartsy photography brain very, very happy. A sister in Nocthell. She is an absolute sweetheart to interact with, and her OC is fucking adorable. Love, love, love.
10. idk this is probably gonna sound silly but I just wanted to thank everyone who has supported me over these last few months. Never did I ever think that in about 3 months time I’d have almost 600 followers who are amazing, thoughtful, sweet people. I love interacting with all of you, and thank you guys so much for supporting me and being patient with my support of you (it’s my goal to get back to all my mentions right away but sometimes it takes a long time, weeks even. you can always message me if you feel like maybe your post slipped through the cracks for whatever reason. I am excited in my consumption of content in this fandom LOL.) ANYWAY I’M CHEESY I’M SORRY I JUST LOVE Y’ALL SO MUCH AND WANT THE BEST FOR ALL OF YOU.

dandelion: any special talent that you have? 
A lot of anxious cats and dogs come to our clinic, and this definitely isn’t always true, but I think some of them resonate with the energy I give off because I’ve had several normally nervous animals fall asleep in my arms or on the exam room table. Have assuaged the concerns of many an anxious animal with lots of pets and very calm, quiet “you’re going to be okay”s. lol