shit from like 2010 no joke

anonymous asked:

I love the Spy!AU, but I want to know how AmeWELL became known as SamWELL

It went a little something like this: 

The H.A.U.S, circa 2010


“Aim well.” Shitty snorts. He’s laying across Jack’s lap, probably half-baked. “Sounds like a bad joke. ‘Well, they aim well.’”

“Please put pants on before laying on me.” Jack says not looking up from the papers he was reading aloud from. Shitty doesn’t pay him any mind, plowing on.

“Like, we don’t just aim well; we aim great.” he says. “We’re small but mighty, the underdogs, the comeback kids!”

“You’re not coming back from anything.” Jack points out. “Except from putting some pants on sometime soon– I mean, seriously, Shits.” 

“Like, I know that that’s how the whole naming thing works,” Shitty goes on, sitting up now and pressing his hands together, pointing them out at nothing. “But, like, it’s not gonna fly everywhere. ItaWELL, VieWELL, ChiWELL–”

“Vietnam isn’t part of the program yet.” Jack says, scooting awa11y while he can. 

“Yeah, yet,” Shitty echoes. “Think big, think future– that was a bad example. What about, like SweWELL and SwiWELL, though?”

Jack frowned. “What?”

“Exactly!” Shitty crowed, standing now, and starting to pace. “Sweden and Switzerland, man. Two very different nations, always gonna get confused.”

Jack sighs, giving in. “Okay, but, what does that have to do with us?”

“Someone’s gotta break the chain, man.” Shitty says, using his ‘inspiring speech’ voice. “Someone’s gotta lead the change!”

“What do you think we should be called, then?” Jack asks. This gives Shitty pause. 

“I dunno, dude.” he admits, sitting back down. “Historically, my family’s fucking awful at naming shit, so, I probably shouldn’t be the one to do it.”

They both sit in silence for a moment before Jack speaks again. “What about SamWELL?” he says. “Like, Uncle Sam, SamWELL.”

Shitty grins. “Jack Zimmermann, you glorious Canadian Adonis.” he says, slapping Jack on the shoulder. “I think you’ve fucking got it.”

Later, every file that previously read ‘AmeWELL’ now reads ‘SamWELL.’ No one knows where the change came from (okay, no, everyone knows that Shitty did it, but they don’t have proof,) but, they go with it anyway. There are some battles you just can’t fight. 

joshuathehumanboy  asked:

I have a fear that some SJW is going to hear cr1tikal say something and they'll get horribly "offended" and start a tumblr hate campagin because cr1tikal will say "oh fuck my titties" and it'll get tumblr'd into CR1TIKAL HATES WOMEN HERE'S THIS THIS AND THIS TO PROVE IT and the hate will be too much for him and he'll delete his account :/

Why is “offended” in quotations? Let’s be fucking real here, cr1tikal’s said some shit in his older videos. Someone sent me a message pointing out 2 videos from 2010 where he makes rape jokes (there are more, I’ve rewatched some older videos recently). I’ve seen a lot of people getting upset over the fact that he played that “bathtub poking” game. No one’s getting mad because cr1tikal says the word “titties” a lot. Come on. There are legitimate reasons. But for those people writing cr1tikal off as the scum of the earth and refusing to have anything to do with him, I also want to point out that, like… not everyone is so educated on these issues. Unfortunately. And I think it’s much more important to see how he would respond to those criticisms NOW. I don’t think he’s made rape jokes recently at all? I could be wrong. But damn, people aren’t so black and white. Everyone’s said ignorant things- He just happens to have some of the shit he said recorded on Youtube. But I can’t defend him 100%, because I don’t know him and I don’t know if he’s willing to acknowledge anything like this or change. Just don’t assume the worst of someone without first hearing their response to past actions.

anxietynerd  asked:

Not to be rude to you or anything but ever since Justin Bieber came into the public eye in like 2010 its always been a running joke that he was a girl and no one really gave a shit but as soon as Jared Padalecki says what many people have been saying for years people such as you say such things as "fuck this guy". I'm sorry but maybe you just need to take a deep breath and just look at the situation from an outside perspective of a fan of neither of them.

Sorry I was just looking at it from the perspective of a woman who is tired of femininity being the butt of jokes and blatant misogyny from popular public figures being ignored and excused.

anonymous asked:

Oh my god I have had nightmares (okay not actual literal nightmares, more like sometimes I remember it and can't stop thinking about it and screaming internally) for over a DECADE about that worm so hearing it's almost eradicated makes me so happy. Maybe one day when I think about it and cringe for ten minutes I will at least know it will never happen to anyone ever again.

TRUFAX RIGHT HERE. When I was younger, and had a host of problems, my brain latched onto exotic/extremely unlikely diseases as a way to channel my anxiety. I was TERRIFIED of things like Guinea worm, and mad cow disease, and Naegleria fowlerii, and rabies.

I eventually found my way out of that morass (via doctors/incredibly patient parents/maturing/medication), but I maintained my fascination with diseases. In 2010, one of my better cousins got me the book The Complete Manual of Things That Might Kill You, as a kind of joke/”you like this shit” Christmas book.

When I re-discovered it while unpacking from a move, I started posting medical shit over on my personal blog, and my friend Mariana was like “dude you should start a blog for all this stuff, it’s super fascinating and I didn’t know the history of this weirdness”. And eventually I did!

And here I am, four years later! And I’m married, and she’s married, and my brother’s hella dead, and she has the best year-old baby ever, and life is weird in ways I never imagined and and and, and…and…