Assassins As Disney Princesses (contains spoilers)
Mulan - woman who kicks ass like a lady in a man's world
Elsa - conceal don't feel, love will thaw, also is a queen because he's the first one
Jasmine - knows how to work it, can show you a whole new world, ohohoho
(I would say Alice because of his trip into fucking Wonderland in the game, but she's not a Disney princess so there's) Snow White - he was trapped under a rock by a magical sword and his love went to a castle in the sky after the witch was killed
Tiana - he ain't got time for messin' around, and that's not his style/ Merida because he's the shit at archery and does not flirt. Ever.
Ariel - let's be honest here, lads
Belle - Reads a shit ton and is having none of your shit
Leia (because Disney bought Star Wars) - can and will kick your ass with a gun, smart as shit, awesome friend
Cinderella - does all this work and nobody fucking listens to him, the ungrateful little shits
Aurora - because we swear he's just sleeping
Have you seen the video about the dude who like relearned like forgotten archery tech from the dark ages? It's wicked cool.
Ahh, yeah, I’ve seen it, but sadly, that video is wildly wrong and false.
What Lars Andersen is doing is trick shooting. Very impressive trick shooting, but trick shooting nonetheless. He claims to have rediscovered a forgotten archery technique, yet, that is not true: That style of trick shooting is still actually being practiced today: It’s just not European, so a shitload of people don’t know it. Take a look at Ottoman Turk archers and Mongolian archers, and then have fun picking your jaw from the floor.
He also claimed that everything we knew was a lie about archery. THAT is also a blatant lie, disproved easily by even the most elementary search, sadly. The stand-shooting manner seen in sports, was indeed made for sport. Accuracy. Actual combat archers did move around more, but they weren’t doing parkour, they just were more dynamic and agile. Quivers do exist, and have existed since forever, and they are not a Hollywood invention.
The only thing he got right was that people don’t know shit about archery in general, and that most of Hollywood’s presentation of it is bollocks. His, however, is no more accurate, either.
IT’S A COOL VIDEO BUT ALAS, NOT TRUE AT ALL, SADLY.
Anon w/o a life: Depends on what you want to go for. On the one hand, we can have men transforming into women, which would make keeping their secret identities super easy, or they just stay the same but get fancy outfits along with their powers. If the former: Rip/Pluto, Ray/Moon, Ollie/Mars, Cisco/Mercury, Barry/Jupiter, Nate/Venus, Mick/Uranus, Len/Neptune and Jax/Saturn. I'll give an expo as to why I chose these peeps in another message. 
Anon w/o a life, reasons: Rip as Pluto for the obvious time travel, Ray as Moon cause I can see him attempting to be in charge, Ollie as Mars for being done with this shit and the archery, Cisco as Mercury due to his inventiveness and kindness despite all the crap he goes thru, Barry as Jupiter due to lack of fitting into another role, Nate as Venus cause she would disguise herself as moon and I can see him doing that for Ray and I’ll have to explain the last three in another message. 
Reasons continued: Mick as Uranus cause both are bad ass and very physical, Len as Neptune cause she often would die for Uranus and yeah, enough said; not sure why I chose Jax as Saturn, other than the idea of him reincarnating as a little kid and being cared for by Len and Mick sounded adorable to me.
AFTER THE WORLD HAS BEEN AROUND FOR A FEW YEARS, PEOPLE DECIDE TO START EATING MEAT. THE ANIMALS ARE PRETTY FUCKING PISSED OFF ABOUT BEING HACKED INTO LUMPS AND EATEN, SO THEY DECIDE TO FUCK SHIT UP FOR HUMANITY IN REVENGE.
ALL THE BEARS GET TOGETHER TO MAKE EVIL BEAR PLOTS, AND END UP DECIDING TO SHOOT ALL THE PEOPLE. THE PROBLEM IS, BEARS ARE SHIT AT ARCHERY. ONE OF THEM GETS HOLD OF A BOW AND TRIES TO SHOOT A GUY, BUT HIS CLAWS GET TANGLED IN THE STRING AND HE FALLS OVER. IN THE END, THE BEARS DECIDE THAT ARCHERY WAS A FUCKING SHIT IDEA AND RESIGN THEMSELVES TO THEIR INEVITABLE, DELICIOUS FATE.
ALL THE DEER HAVE A SIMILAR MEETING, BUT THEY DON’T EVEN TRY ARCHERY. DEER HAVE HOOVES, SO THEY’RE JUST AS SHIT WITH BOWS AS BEARS ARE, BUT THEY AREN’T QUITE AS FUCKING STUPID AS BEARS. THE DEER DECIDE STRAIGHTFORWARDLY TO POISON ANYONE WHO KILLS A DEER WITHOUT ASKING, BECAUSE DEER ARE ALL DICKS.
SO NOW, EVERY TIME SOMEONE SHOOTS A DEER WITHOUT ASKING FIRST, THE MOTHERFUCKING DEER FAIRY SNEAKS INTO THEIR BEDROOM AND POISONS THEM. AND THAT’S WHY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SAY PLEASE BEFORE YOU DO ANY MURDERING. JUST IN CASE YOU GET POISONED BY A FUCKING ANGRY FAIRY.
Man, I didn’t even read the text underneath the panel depicting Vriska’s giant spiderhellspawn of a lusus yesterday, I just x'ed the hell out of that tab as quickly as I could (´-﹏-`；)
See, look at this. She’s fine. Fine and huge and hungry as ever.
You… guess you’re relieved? Yes, of course. Whew! Why wouldn’t you be. It would be devastating if anything happened to your dear sweet custodian.
What a shitty situation to be in???
Like, either she openly hopes that somebody will just finally off the damn thing for good and hates herself for it cause, man, she probably DOES still feel attached to her in some way, and lusus (that’s the correct latin plural dammit, i refuse to say “lususes”) are the closest thing trolls have to a parental figure, you don’t wish death on your own mother OR she refuses to acknowledge those incredibly understandable and reasonable feelings and instead pretends that everything is just fine, she loves that big ol’ grotesquery very much and would HATE it if she ever got hurt, which leads to Vriska letting her life be dictated and ruined by her
sad about predictably fucked up monster-child relationships: the blog