Actively avoids reporters. Wears loose sweatpants for the entire month leading up to publication, an intrepid young journalist still gets a picture of him squirting himself in the face with his water bottle, sweatpants riding REAL low. Top ten material right here
Said he didn't care about the Swallow, so everyone assumed he wouldn't be in it. When the magazine comes out, Bitty is nowhere to be seen, but #100 is a photo of a perfectly baked pie. Suspicious.
Runs naked out on the Haus lawn every time he sees a reporter (or an innocent photography student) oiled up and ready for his close up. The reporter retreats 9 times out of 10, but not before commenting on the strange pull he feels towards that mustache...just barely makes the list.
Freshmen weren't even supposed to be in the running until one dedicated intern saw his friend request pop up on Facebook his first year...those cheekbones...those eyes...that smoking goddamn personality of his...Ransom is the undisputed king of the Samwell Most Beautiful List for two years. He has ascended to Godhood. Your fave could never.
Hasn't ever made the list. He's tried everything, washing cars shirtless, doing push-ups on the lawn, wearing soft sweaters in the winter and flirting very nonthreateningly with all the girls. Holster barges into the Samwell Swallow's office senior year with a photo of his rippling abs and demands to know why he's never been on the list. The editor looks him up and down, shrugs, and says "sorry; we have a no glasses policy". Holster may or may not scream.
Only makes the list because he tutors the editor of the Samwell Swallow. He made a bet with Nursey freshman year that he would make the Most Beautiful list, Nursey says "that'd be chill bro" which Dex thinks means "haha that's not gonna happen" and which Nursey meant to mean "that'd be chill bro". Dex slams the magazine on Nursey's bed, Nursey looks at it and goes "babe, did they crop out your ears?" They did. They had too.
Doesn't really care about making the list, but is constantly campaigning for Caitlin to be #1. When the list comes out, he charges into the Swallow's office and goes "#23????????? Are you BLIND??????" And the lil intern goes "No!!! Mr. Chow, you're #22" and that's when Caitlin appears wearing a t-shirt that says "#22 in the Swallow, #1 in my heart". Chowder loves his girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!
Usurps Ransom's crown his sophomore year without even trying. His photo in the Swallow is him sitting on the quad, looking perfectly fall aesthetic, surrounded by autumn leaves. Nursey wears a green SnapBack and a soft looking grey scarf. The picture was taken in March; no one can explain the leaves to this very day.
- J used to bind with tape or bandages because whilst he’s one fancy motherfucker he really has no sense of self preservation and has way too much pride to steal some binders and have people find out he’s trans
- He does, however, get Harley to loot drugstores for painkillers and period products, and shark week is the only time that Harls is allowed to look after him (J gets real bad cramps and sickness and shit when he’s on his period)
- Bruce finds out long before they start dating; Batman bursts into the Jokers hideout, ready to arrest the clown, and is thoroughly confused to find his arch nemesis curled up on a warm armchair, crying and whimpering. At first Batsy thinks joker is ill, but J can’t help but make the empty threat of “I started my day in a pool of my own blood, is that how you’d like to end yours?” And everything sort of clicks in place for Bruce
- J is kinda scared because Fuck, now batsy knows and if he already had slim chances of his enemy ever respecting him, then now he had no chance whatsoever
- as much as Bruce hates joker (well he should anyway, but he can never manage to want the clown gone forever) he’s not a total dick. He decides to let J off for a week, and a couple days later Harley comes home with a package containing two binders and a tub of painkillers, claiming Nightwing had awkwardly handed them to her in the Narrows
- Once Bruce and J start dating (I really need to come up with a backstory for their relationship tbh) Bruce pays for his boyfriends T and binders, and later his surgery too. At first J felt a little annoyed that he’d never managed to pay for these things himself, but it wears off after he gets top surgery and walks around the manor shirtless for weeks until Alfred reminds him it’s winter
- J getting emotional when everyone in the batfam is accepting of him (gender wise anyway, not so much about the “murderous clown dating Bruce” thing)
- Joker being trans but that not meaning he can’t be feminine or wear dresses
- Joker being trans and still smashing the gender binary
- Joker being trans and Bruce still loving him completely and cutting off anyone who claims J isn’t a real man
Angels pointing at things with arms they don’t have anymore.
Angels going out shirtless during winter, because coats are too restrictive for their wings.
Angels walking barefoot in gravel, because it reminds them of the burning holy grounds.
Angels walking with their eyes closed, because if they can’t open all of them there is no point in opening any.
Angels writting to-do lists in long lost alphabets.
Angels avoiding churches, because it hurts too much.
Angels walking in the streets at 3am, signing songs in languages that never existed and having to stop when a mortal comes near, because they couldn’t handle the power of the words coming out of their mouths.
Angels burning empty churches in hatred after thousands of unanswered prayers.
Angels dragging blades across their skin and whiping their own backs because it reminds them of His presence.
Angels screaming at the top of their lugs and not really knowing why.