shirt stay

Y'all so today at school this girl came up to me and asked if I ever smoked weed and I’m like “nope” but I have thought about trying it but I think I’m too much of an angel child to try it so this guy who lives in my neighborhood goes “you wanna change that?” and he offered to let me smoke with him and i’m like “i’ll keep that in mind” and it wasn’t until I got home and realized the shirt I was wearing…which happened to be my brother’s shirt that said “Stay Drug Free” and I thought about the conversation we had and it was just the funniest thing ever to me😂
Anyway I just wanted to share with you guys it probably wasn’t that entertaining or funny to you so I’m sorry but I just had to share 💀💀

Long-ass SB/ho tips outline and I don’t even care

I’m on a roll today haha.  Been typing these out as I think of them all week, so here is a list of things in order of what I perceive to be least to most talked about:

1. Be able to leave at any time. You never know when you’re going to have to make a run for it or if you feel unsafe and need to bounce.  This includes:

  • Know your exits.  Not all places have the exit the same as the entrance.  Figure out where the exit is either before you walk in or as soon as you do.
  • Keep all your things as close together as possible.  Pretty easy if you’re in a public place, but if you are at a hotel or his house or something, try to either keep everything packed or all your things in one place.  This makes you look neat and organized too, or at least you can claim that if he calls you on it.
  • When you’re done brushing your teeth, pack away your toothbrush again.  This goes for everything.  When you use it, put it back.
  • Keep your dirty clothes folded next to your suitcase, if not in it.
  • Keep your purse on your person or with your things.  I usually put it on the nightstand so it’s easy to remember, and my clothes/rest of my things usually end up next to the bed anyway.  Take your bag to the bathroom, especially if there are things inside that reveal your identity if you don’t want him to see.
  • If you take off your clothes, leave them right-side-out.  If you don’t do it as you take your clothes off, just fix them as soon as they’re off.  Leave all your clothes in one place.  If you’re naked and need to run, this speeds up the process and you don’t look a complete mess when you get outside.
    • For your shirt, grab the bottom hem and pull it over your head.  Once the neck clears your head, take the hem of one sleeve and pull your arm out of it.  Then use that arm to hold both sleeves as you remove your other arm.  This leaves you holding both sleeves by the ends as the shirt hangs down and your shirt stays ready to be put on quickly.
    • For your pants, step on the hem with one foot to slide the other leg out.  Might be a little tough with skinny jeans or leggings, but try to pull from the bottoms and slide out instead of peeling them off your body.
  • Have the number for a local taxi service saved in your phone.  Or Uber, or a friend nearby, or whatever you feel like.  Don’t rely on him to get you home.
  • Pack a pair of flats if you can because running in heels is way too hard.
  • If you do need to leave, put on your underwear, then pants.  Don’t need to wear the bra.  Put on your shirt, grab your things and leave.  Run to the staircase–don’t risk the elevator in case a bunch of people with luggage hold it up long enough for him to find you there.  Go barefoot down the stairs, then put on your shoes after you’ve reached the bottom.  At this point you should be holding your purse and bra, maybe socks, jacket, heels if you packed flats, and jewelry.  As you walk to the door, put your jewelry and bra in your purse if you can.  Put socks in the heels, or hold them if you’re wearing the heels.  Get into the taxi.  Put your bra on around your stomach, then pull it up under your shirt so you’re wearing it like a strapless bra (you can fix this later if you want).  Put on your socks if you have them.  Double check that you grabbed everything.  Get home safe.

2. Have a safe place to go to if needed.  This is anywhere very public and preferably somewhere you cannot be followed.  Know how to get there from wherever you are.

  • If you have a membership at a gym, they usually check membership cards at the door. 
  • If you are military/dependent, go on base. 
  • Go to your place of work and hide in the break room.  If your coworkers ask, say it was a Tinder date gone wrong and this creepy old guy is following you.
  • Worst case scenario, go to the bathroom in a public place.  Enlist the help of other women in there/call the hostess of the restaurant or a nearby store and explain the situation.

3. Put your phone on airplane mode.  Turn WiFi and location off.  I’ve seen it mentioned before where people pop up as Facebook suggestions.  If you spend a lot of time in the same area as someone, Facebook knows.  Even with location off, it can tell your location via WiFi access point and which cell your phone is connected to.  Turning off location and WiFi will help, but you need to disconnect your phone from service to block that avenue too.  I would say turn your phone off entirely, but my phone takes 6 million years to power on, so that could be dangerous in an emergency.  Turning off airplane mode can allow you to reconnect quickly to service.  (This is also useful because then your phone won’t be buzzing and stuff.  No distractions.)

4. Tell a friend where you’re going and what time you expect to be back.  Keep them updated with changes.  Even if they don’t respond, having it in writing somewhere can keep you safe if anything happens.  Message me where you’re going if you don’t have anyone else idgaf.

5. Ask for everything upfront.  Whatever you agreed on (cash, gifts, dinner, whatever), make sure you get it first.  I feel like everyone on Tumblr already knows this, but maybe one person will read this who hadn’t read it elsewhere and it’ll help.

6. Keep these things in your bag.

As always, add stuff I didn’t think of if you have anything!  Stay safe and may the sugar gods bless you all.

reasons to read Siren’s Lament:

abs

ABS

ABS PARTIALLY OBSCURED BY TEXT BUBBLES GDI

ABS IN PROXIMITY TO OTHER ABS

and mORE ABS

Bonus: Some butt cleavage

domestic/family starter prompts
  • “Just a little while longer.”
  • “Can you come tuck me in?”
  • “Come on, I’ll tuck you in.”
  • “Did you sleep okay last night?”
  • “C’mon, read me something! Just like old times.”
  • “Is that my shirt?”
  • “Can we stay in tonight?”
  • “Will you stay with me?”
  • “Shh, it’s okay.”
  • “Go to sleep, go to sleep.”
  • “Hold my hand.”
  • “C’mere, it’s alright.”
  • “You’re fine.”
  • “You’re apart of the family.”
  • “Hug?”
  • “Gimme a kiss!”
  • “Can I snuggle with you?”
  • “Your breakfast is getting cold!”
  • “Tickle, tickle, tickle!”
  • “I got you something!”
  • “No, go back to sleep.”
  • “What are you smiling about?”
  • “He’s such a downer.”
  • “Here, I’ll zip you up.”
  • “Do you want me to read to you?”
  • “I know a lullaby. Think that’ll help you sleep?”
  • “Turn around!”
  • “Your tie is crooked.”
  • “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
  • “Can we get a dog?”
  • “I love you.”
  • “Time for your bath.”
  • “You first.”
  • “Lemme wash your hair.”
  • “Stop squirming!”
  • “My turn!”
  • “Mind if I move a bit closer?”
  • “Can I stay the night?”
  • “Don’t you dare go outside without a coat.”
  • “They forgot to flush!”
  • “Come here!”
  • “Mom! They’re being mean!”
  • “Dad! They’re being mean!”
  • “Help! They’re being mean!”
  • “Think we can play a board game later?”
  • “Don’t be so mean to them, you understand me?”
  • “Watch your tone!”
  • “Here. I’ll do it for you. Give me the tie.”
  • “Don’t slam the door!”
  • “Eat your greens.”
  • “Stop playing with your food.”
  • “Your room looks like a cyclone ran through it.”
  • “Happy Birthday!”
  • “They sing like a goddamn crow.”
  • “Don’t sass me, young lady.”
  • “Don’t sass me, young man.”
  • “Don’t sass me, little one.”
  • “I don’t like kissing them.”
  • “I was gone for ten fucking minutes!”
  • “Read to me.”
  • “What is going on?”
  • “You’re crazy, but I like that.”
  • “Hey, watch out for them, okay?”
  • “I got the last slice of pizza. I’m gonna have to throw it up for you to get it.”
  • “We’re out of milk again!”
  • “Who wants a hearty breakfast?”
  • “Back in my day….”
  • “They’re my annoying younger sibling.”
  • “We don’t need another kid.”
Catnaps and Twitter

| Warnings: None. |

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She pattered into the lounge, Dan sat on the couch mindlessly scrolling on his laptop.

His eyes slowly lifted from the screen to his girlfriend and widened when he saw her.

Her hair tousled, his camouflage jumper swallowing her body, a tired look upon her face.

“Hey, c'mere.”

He closed his laptop and moved it aside, opening his arms and gesturing for her to join him.

She crawled on his lap, resting her body against his as if he were a giant pillow. His lanky arms wrapped around her body, holding her close.

Her head lay rested against his chest, the sound of his heartbeat lulling her into a light on and off slumber.

“Hey baby?” Dan said, waking her from her catnap.

“Mm?” She groaned against the fabric of his t-shirt.

“Let’s stay like this all day.”

It was comfortable like this. As they both lay together, cuddled up in their pajamas, no plans for the day, they found solace in each other’s company.

Dan reached over and grabbed his phone, pulling up the camera and taking a photo of him and [Y/N], who was once again napping on his chest.

“She fell asleep on me and I can’t move send help.” Dan tweeted, posting the photo with it.

He put his phone on airplane mode and threw it aside, ignoring the usual onslaught of replies when the phandom would see the tweet.

[Y/N] began stirring and woke up, leaning up and looking at Dan. “Hey there.” She mumbled sleepily, a soft smile upon her lips.

“Hey cutie.” He replied, ruffling his fingers through her hair.

She yawned, and rubbed her eyes with the sleeve of his jumper. Dan honestly thought she was the cutest thing he’d ever laid eyes on right in this moment.

She grabbed his phone, rolling onto her side so she could still be held by Dan but lay more comfortably. She turned off airplane mode and checked Twitter as she normally did, but quickly noticed the photo he had tweeted.

She closed the phone, looking up at Dan and placing soft kisses all over his lips and face.

“What’s this for?” He asked between kisses.

“For being the best boyfriend a girl could ask for.”

But the romantic rendezvous was interrupted by the sound of [Y/N]’s growling stomach.

“How about we order your favourite pizza and marathon the cheesiest horror movies on Netflix?” Dan asked, reaching for his phone and placing a kiss on her temple.

“You really are the best boyfriend ever.”