ship: i will always find you

why the fuck is it that tv-show writers seem to think a ship can’t be interesting without a lot of break ups and drama like??? no! give me that healthy, long lasting relationship that is always there but not in the center of attention or the main storyline. i totally dig that, burry those nasty love-triangles deep deep down where nobody can find them ever again. please and thank you.

10

“Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy,
Of rocket ships and Mars;
Of sunny days,
And Willie Mays,
And chocolate candy bars.
Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy,
Dream while you can;
Of big green frogs,
And puppy dogs,
And castles in the sand.
For, all too soon you’ll awaken;
Your toys will all be gone.
Your broomstick horse will ride away,
To find another home.
And you’ll have grown into a man,
With cowboys of your own.
And then you’ll have to go to war,
To try and save your home.
And then you’ll have to learn to hate;
You’ll have to learn to kill.
It’s always been that way, my son;
I guess it always will.
No broomstick gun they’ll hand you;
No longer you’ll pretend.
You’ll call some man your enemy;
You used to call him ‘friend. ’
And when the rockets thunder,
You’ll hear your brothers cry.
And through it all you’ll wonder
Just why they had to die.
So dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy,
Dream while you can;
For soon, you’ll be a dreadful thing:
My son, you’ll be a man.”

Bobby Goldsboro - Broomstick Cowboy

Dean Winchester | 12x11 Regarding Dean

the worst thing about trying to decide to read a fic:

-horrible writing.

-the summary is good but the story is written in a different language or is badly written.

-opening it to find no spaces between the paragraphs.

-both your otp and notp is tagged and you have no clue if you want to take a risk or not.

-tagged major character death and you start sweating.

-hasn’t been updated in 80 years but the summary is on point and their the best fucking writer ever.

-you start reading only to find that the person updates every ten years and you just happened to catch them on a day they finally updated.

-you find a writer and check them out, only to find out they mostly write about your notp - and of course they always update, have perfect writing and have stories that are epic.

-stories with so many fucking tags, you just shake your head and move on.

-the “i suck at summaries please check it out still” and you just, pause because it has your otp and you debate whether or not to take the risk.

-you find a pairing you never considered before and think holy shit, that could be hot and spend all day hunting through the tag.

-you ship a pairing so fucking hard, only to find like two fics and you start weeping.

-when you find a perfect story only to check the tags and see some weird shit that disgusts you and you scream why.

-a fic with good writing and summary but it’s so short or is only fan-art.

-a crossover fic where you have both of your fandoms but don’t have both of otps, just one.

-one shots that are so good you wish they were longer.

-when your notp is tagged but it’s labeled as a past relationship or says your otp is endgame, and you have to go through the notp’s awkward breakup in order for your otp to happen.

-when someone doesn’t tag properly and a plot twist hits you and you want to cry.

-you finally find a great fic that has been updated and the last update says writes block, personal issues- can’t do this, asks for co-writer, discontinues it or says lol i hate how this is turning out, deleting.

-when a writer as twenty stories to update and you cry because you like all of them and you have to wait.

-when you remember a story from like five years ago and you search for it, only to find it’s been deleted or can’t seem to find it anywhere.

-when a writer gives you an update schedule and you’re excited because they follow it but then they start missing it and you just…

-when a writer deletes a story and rewrites the same story but you like the original better.

-when your reading a story about a rare pairing that interests and your otp hate each other or just friends and it’s just so weird to read.

-when one half of your otp is in another relationship and the other half shows up with someone else and then you remember, right i’m not reading a story about my otp so i can’t get mad.

-when your otp is popular but it’s not as popular as another ship in the fandom and you hate how the other ship as so much more stories than your ship.

-when you try to read an ot3 relationship because it has two characters you love but the other character is usually from your notp and you hate when your notp share moments.

-when you beg an author (usually one where they aren’t in the fandom really) to write more stories about your otp and they say maybe and it never happens.

-when the writer literally shits on your favorite character and you can’t go through it anymore.

-when your otp isn’t the main pairing and you don’t really care about the other pairings in the story and skip to your otp parts.

-when a story has a million words and it’s so good and you know that you will spend all day and night reading it until your eyes hurt.

-when a story have 200 parts to it and you lose all hope after a while because the story is dragging.

-when your otp is going through something and so many stories are filled with angst, fluff and hurt that it makes you cry because yup, i need to read about my pain for my otp.

-when the writer refuses to write the smut you been waiting for and your otp is stuck in unresolved tension mode forever.

-when the writer unexpected changes the story’s events and you are disappointed by the direction.

-when you find a great au and the characters are so out of character… it makes you sad.

-when you open a fic only to find you hate the point of view and you scream.

-when you request a prompt and the author writes it but you are disappointed and just smile through the pain.

-when you have such a good idea in your head and you try to write it but it’s so bad that you delete it and cry, hoping someone else writes the brilliant idea that you had.

-when you don’t ship something anymore but see a great plot and you click the story and take a deep breath - because shit is about to go down.

-when you reading a great story but get distracted and skip some parts, shit goes down in between and then you think fuck, and have to start over.

-when it’s tagged “slow burn” and you say i can do this and it’s chapter 30 and my ship still hate each other like what.

-when the author says this is their first time writing smut and you think on god they better do this right - only to find out they writing eight pages on your otp making love. like yes.

-when the smut is so rushed or improper you feel cheated and log off because done. like so done.

-when it’s tagged “everyone lives” and your eyes water because that’s all you ever wanted in life.

-when the author leaves a cliffhanger and says in the author’s note “lol sorry about the cliffhanger, i’ll update soon”. you ain’t sorry, stop lying.

-when you see that the story is complete and do a happy dance, only to realize that it ended badly or the sequel/series hasn’t been updated.

Jungkook Ship Fic Rec 2

Since so many of you asked me for another Kook ship fic rec, here I am! All smut will be bottom Jungkook as always. I’ve gotta admit, it’s really hard to find recently but I’ll pull up as many as I can because I know the feeling of wanting more bottom kook but finding none haha. These will be separated by ship! Oh my god it was so hard to find anything for jikook OTL well to be honest, I don’t know why it was so difficult to find fics this time.

Taekook

Resonance AO3, Oneshot, I already know it’s good because it’s by Rix. AND IT’S SOUL EATER AU. I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE THIS BUT YASSSS. This is actually one of the hottest things I’ve read in awhile. Like O_O wow.

I Just Had Sex (ft. Jungkook) AO3, Oneshot, first time bottoming and Tae is kind of angry because Kook almost missed his bday but things work out. 

Sugar and Spice AO3, Oneshot, Daddy Kink but the love is sooooo real, soft affectionate Kook (I honestly can’t tell who actually has the power anymore between these two). 

Night Winds AO3, Oneshot, Alpha Tae and Beta Kook, they could never work out but they did. 

Suit and Tie AO3, Complete, I’m still not over how good this is, the power struggle of two hot CEO’s, and then the budding cuteness.

I Can Make You (Cry For Me) and Empty Spaces Don’t Talk About It AO3, Complete, Taekookseok with taekook end game, there’s junghope but it’s not as present as Taekook, the second part is ANGST GALORE but it ends well.

Fuck the Rules AFF, Oneshot, Taekook think the new PDA rules are stupid, it’s not exhibitionism in case you were wondering lol.

I’ll be a man (of you, you, you babe) AO3, Oneshot, Tae always bails Kook out of arranged dates.

After School AO3, Oneshot, canon compliant with Tae at the dorm and Kook at school, this is actually kinda cute at the end lol.

Topsy-Turvy AO3, Ongoing, hate to love, stepbrother au.

The Smell of Peaches AO3, Ongoing, THIS IS SO FREAKING GOOD, abo au, taekook are ex’s but Kook gets his heat and they become friends with benefits but with hidden feelings, and oh my god the angst and smut is A++++++. This is my current obsession lol.

Jikook

it must be fate (or you’re stalking me, who knows) AO3, Oneshot, this was actually quite cute, Jimin is the definition of cutie in the streets and senpai in the sheets (lol I love that tag)

Restrictions and Rewards AO3, Oneshot, Kookie needs the proper motivation. 

See Through (If You Will) AO3, Complete, Mpreg Kook, hurt/comfort, I love the hurt.

Will You Stop Time AO3, Oneshot, Jungkook loved Jimin even if he pushed him away (but he always apologizes at night), the feels were real.

Bloom AO3, Oneshot, First Times, a little bit of angst.

No Strings Attached  AO3, Complete, recently finished camboy Kook au and wow was it good, go read it you won’t regret it. 

In Your Eyes (I’m the Best/I’m the Worst) AO3, Oneshot, fair warning this may or may not be your cup of tea, it’s humiliation kink well more like Jimin legit gets angry at Kook for being a brat all the time and insults him but Kook likes it (?), if you don’t like this kind of stuff, don’t read it. 

power struggle AO3, Oneshot, Omega Kook and Alpha Jimin, i really really love the jealous hurt/comfort.

Becoming Bad AFF, Ongoing, Subscribers Only, Jimin the bad boy taints Innocent Jungkook.

Don’t Hesitate Any Longer AO3, Oneshot, Adult Ceremony dance practice into something more, hyung kink. 

Every Morning (and Night) is Perfect With You That Christmas Evening Eros and Perfectly Imperfect AO3, Oneshot, yes shameless self-promotion but all of them are legit just bottom kook smut with feelings and tiny bit of plot.

Animal House AFF, Ongoing, Members-Only, Jungkook is the bunny cop that meets Fox Jimin, they room together and feelings develop but there’s something evil going on.

The Way You Move It (I Can’t Believe It) AO3, Oneshot, Jungkook is failing his Cha Cha class because his hips are stiff, Jimin shows him how to sway those hips and maybe more.

One Page Pornography Ch. 28 AO3, Oneshot, I was honestly craving hurt/comfort Jikook plus smut and dang did this provide. I loved the angst and it hurt so so good all the way up until Jimin comforted him and then the phone sex and actual sex was A+.

Kookiemonster

Golden Boy AO3, Complete, VOLLEYBALL AU, also angst and smut (hot smut) but angst, it’s a wild ride. 

House Made of Cards AO3, Oneshot, you’d think it’s just smut but wow the underlying emotion is whew.

Got Me Baited and Bruised AO3, Oneshot, Awkward flirting guys lol.

Junghope

I’ll Give You Love (You Wanted Nothing) AO3, Oneshot, Junghope discuss marriage and I love the written dynamic here. 

There and Back Again AO3, Oneshot, okay this is really cute, college au.

While You Were Sleeping AO3, Oneshot, Kook has a wet dream and Hobi takes care of it for him while he’s asleep, totally consensual, this it pretty hot. 

Joke AO3, Oneshot, Kook is a complete brat to Hobi (because he’s an extreme tsundere) and Hobi shows him that he is very capable of fucking Jungkook up. 

Sugakookie

Bittersweet AO3, Complete, this was a smut/angst ride too, darker themes but wow it’s good, mafia au. 

Sweet Baby Boy AO3, Oneshot, yup just pure smut indulgence.

Tied Up AO3, Complete, I suggest you read the whole series by Rosiex.

White Lines, Pretty Baby AO3, Oneshot, Yoongi is Kook’s boss (well he’s a drug dealer) and they develop an unconventional relationship. 

Good Boy, Baby Boy AO3, Oneshot, Daddy kink, lace panties, you get the idea.

Pretty Boy  AO3, Oneshot, Daddy kink, crossdressing, Kook tries to prove that he’s not pretty using shock factor but it doesn’t really work out.

Whenever You Smile (I Smile) AO3, Oneshot, Hogwarts au, I love this, it was so cute and gahhhh it’s a great example of how fluffy sugakookie can be. 

Mingling AO3, Complete, Werewolf Kookie meets ancient vampire Yoongi that’s actually a huge flirt.

The Assistant AO3, Complete, I honestly love this so much because it’s not just an interesting au with good smut, but the depth of the feelings. It’s a really healthy relationship between Sugakookie of course but also Kook and Jimin’s friendship. 

Jinkook

You’re So Beautiful That I’m Scared AO3, Oneshot, indulgent smut with light dom/sub undertones, soft feelings. 

So Nice and So Cool (So Good and So Hot) AO3, Oneshot, Seokjin the TA accidentally fucks one of his students

JungkookxEveryone

Pastel AO3, Ongoing, I think you all know this one by now but just in case you don’t, Kookie likes feeling pretty and he likes being taken care of, his hyungs find out one by one.

Vminkook

Crushed Lungs AO3, Ongoing, it’s kind of a love triangle but without the whole “i hate you” thing which I like. 

Yoonkookseok

a sleepless night again today AO3, Ongoing, I love this ot3 and the relationships are developing right now but it already looks amazing. 

Jihopekook 

Accidentally Right There AO3, Ongoing, this does have jihope with bottom!Jimin but it explores Jungkook’s one-sided love (it really isn’t that unrequited) and the hurt/comfort is great, Jungkookie is a sub and he wants to be loved, I just really love it okay?

Jikookiemonster

oh baby (what’re you doing to me?) AO3, Complete, there’s a big of angst because unrequited love and stuff but then Jimin and Joon take care of him and the FEELS.

Yoonjinkook

Loving You (Is Not a Mistake) AO3, Oneshot, this is really really good and what I’ve been craving, Valentine’s Day but it’s different, hurt/comfort and oh god the Yoonjinkook ot3ness was amazing.

I Play To Win AO3, Oneshot, Alpha!Yoongi/Omega!Seokjin/Alpha!Jungkook, they all play Overwatch and Kookie sets his eyes on Yoongi (who basically hates him at first lol). I love the clash between fiery explosive Yoongi and Tease of the Century Tsundere Jungkook but things work out because you have Seokjin the peacemaker. Basically Yoongi fucks the submission into Kook.

Yup, this is all I could find for now so happy reading? I’ll update this when there’s more fics. HERE is the first fic rec I did in case you missed some of these. 

HAPPY 100 FOLLOWERS!

[Well not anymore since we’re approaching 200 somehow, but you get the drill.
Anyways, thanks for 100 followers! Here’s some Paladin centric HCs for you guys!]

★ Keith convinced Pidge to try on Allura’s crown while she wasn’t paying attention

  • It got stuck on her head and they panicked and tried to cut it off with Keith’s sword

★ The “””Bonding Moment””” is a meme forever engrained in paladin history

★ Pidge voice: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a lion should be able to fly

  • Lance, sliding across a table towards Keith: So, ya like jazz?

★ Everyone has seen high school musical so whenever they form Voltron, they scream the chant

★ Lance convinced everyone to do facemasks as a bonding exercise

★ Alteans never grow hair anywhere besides their head and face

  • Lance remembered all the time he’s spent shaving and cried

★ It’s an ongoing joke to lean towards Keith at random times to see if he’s turning purple yet

★ Shiro found a space Sephora in another space mall and broke down in tears while Keith just patted his back awkwardly

  • “Listen, I know it’s been a while, but people are staring. Shiro, get up, you’re the black paladin omg”

★ It’s a regular thing for Hunk to just carry another paladin around

Hunk voice: It’s a castle, it’s a ship, it’s a castle ship!

★ Pidge, Coran and Hunk upgraded the Gladiators to be more challenging and unpredictable, but in the end almost ended up killing everyone

  • Allura and Lance ended up taking them out

★ They all changed outfits once out of boredom

★ Shiro found a group chat setting in the lions, and just sent a shit ton of lenny faces

★ Shiro knows for a fact that Keith has been pining over Lance since before all this Voltron Nonsense, and proceeds to be the annoying brother Keith wished he never had

  • Shiro, thirsty for gossip and enjoys making his brother suffer: So what’d say to him once you saw him for the first time since the Garrison
  • Keith, already planning ways he can kill himself: I pretended i didn’t know him
  • Shiro, spitting out his nunvil: yoU DID W H A T

★ Coran’s mustache got cut off once, and everyone was horrified.

  • It??? Grew back in a day though????

★ Pidge climbs onto the nearest person when she gets scared

Lance voice: We are Voltron bum ba dum bum bum bum bum

★ Coran is the one to insist he doesn’t have a favorite, but everyone knows it’s Lance

★ The paladins tried to find out if Shiro wore eyeliner or not

  • They camped out in the rafters, courtesy of Pidge, with motion detectors in Shiro’s room and cameras in every bathroom
  • They didn’t get their answer, and Keith fell out the rafters

★ Hunk: Gee, it sure seems like updog in here

  • Lance: Hunk no
  • Coran: What??
  • Hunk: Y’now updog
  • Allura: What??? Is updog???
  • Hunk is too busy screaming to answer, and Lance is done

★ Kaltnecker is still around and scares the crap out of the paladins

  • Lance, jumping five feet into the air: hOLY COW
  • Hunk, Pidge and Keith: ( ° ʖ °)
  • Lance: NO

★ Everyone has a group chat where the scream about Klance

★ Coran and Shiro scream the most since Keith and Lance respectively go to them more often

★ They quietly whisper right hand man whenever Allura shows up in her battlesuit

★ Alteans can glow and nobody finds out until the castle has a blackout and the paladins are shook

  • Lance: i toLD YOU GUYS THIS CASTLE WAS HAUNTED
  • Coran: Worry not paladins! We’ve got the situation under control
  • **Allura and Coran begin glowing**
  • Pidge, quietly underneath her breath: yo wtf

★ The paladins find out they can have elemental powers and proceed to freak the fuck out

  • Lance: WHAT IF KEITH LIGHTS ME ON F I R E
  • Keith: WHAT IF YOU DROWN US
  • Pidge: I am the Lorax i speak for the trees
  • Hunk: I can be friends with the Balmera!
  • Shiro: I can finally fly away from all my problems

★ They all unlock them in different ways

  • Keithy-boi accidentally lights his pillow on fire because he was thinking about Lance
  • Somebody makes the mistake of pissing off Hunk and a rock goes flying towards them
  • Shiro was finally chilling until Lance started screaming that he was floating
  • Pidge got really frustrated about an invention while they were on another planet and a bunch of trees surrounded her
  • Last but not least, Lance got super homesick at one point and all the sudden all the waters on the planet started rising

Allura, sitting at a table, eyebrows pinched in thought: What the quiznak is a peanut?

Paladins, pouring nunvil into tiny cups: SHOTS SHOTS SHOT SHOTS

★ Hunk has blackmail on everyone, but will only use it if he deems it completely necessary

★ Nobody ever lets Pidge curse and she is Tired™

★ On several occasions have the Green and Yellow lion had to save their paladins from doing something stupid in the name of science

★ Everyone tried to make lightsabers

  • They were in space so why not??
  • They cut off Coran’s mustache again

★ They went to a planet and drank something?? They next thing they knew is that they were in the castle, Hunk suddenly had longer hair, Pidge’s glasses were gone and that Keith and Lance had strangely similar rings

★ Lance made everyone matching letterman jackets

  • Coran and Shiro teared up

★ Pidge and Hunk made Lance a camera and he screamed

★ Existential crises become a normal thing

  • Shiro, suddenly pausing his training: We’re just fucking power rangers
  • Hunk, dropping Pidge who he was carrying: Oh my god—to Allura and Coran we are the aliens
  • Keith, stopping in the middle of an argument: My entire life, i wondered if aliens were real while i was an alien

★ Everyone assumes its Hunk who doesn’t curse, but it’s actually Lance

★ “How many episodes of Steven Universe have we missed oh my god”

Allura, who just found this out about balloons from Shiro: Ah, Pidge! how exactly does one get square balloons?

  • Pidge, finally seizing her chance: You blow square breaths
  • Allura, holding one finger up: (ό‿ὸ)ノ w h a t

★ Hunk remembered they disappeared before he got to see Moana and just laid down on the floor for several hours

  • Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is basically his dad meaning Hunk missed his dad’s disney movie.

★ They accidentally stole a Yupper that was owned by Prince Lotor

Shortly after forming Voltron: What in formation?

★ Hunk has made a mental note of how many times he’s been right about people not being trustworthy

  • It’s 157

Shiro at one point: jeez we need an adult

  • Shiro, this time horrified: wait i am the adult

★ “It’s not gay if it’s in space.” “Actually the moon is a lesbian, so it is gay. check and mate, Lance.”

Pidge, aggressively: kISS KISS FALL IN SPACE YOU LOSERS

★ They programmed the castle to play the wii music, and Shiro nearly went on a rampage

★ Lance actually ended up knitting all the arusians sweaters

★ “We are beauty, we are grace, we are just gays lost in space” “Shiro liKES MEMES?”

★ Aliens are lowkey terrified of humans now

  • “The black paladin got his arm ripped off and managed to escape the galra? Count me out

★ “Wait, Voltron is just five lions stacked on top of each other omg this is wild”

★ The castle is actually haunted somewhat

  • Nobody knows by who, but they know weird shit is always going on

★ “Who you gonna call?” “VOLTRON”

★ They’re so confused on why Allura and Coran have british accents

  • We’re in space???this makes no sense????

★ Hunk tells Coran he’s helping him cook but really he’s making sure everything is safe for human consumption

★ Lance broke his arm once and Allura passed out

★ Lance and Hunk are the only ones with normal sleeping schedules

  • Coran is always awake?? Nobody knows if he actually goes to sleep, they’re afraid for him

★ Coran taught Pidge every way through the vents and she now uses it to her advantage

★ Hunk is always getting marriage proposals from aliens

★ Pidge has almost been adopted on several occasions

★ They start a service that kinda works like fan mail and are surprised by how many kids want to be them

  • “Why do all these kids want to be dead inside???”

★ The tag yourself meme becomes a usual thing

  • “Tag urself, im that king that keith accidently set on fire”
  • “I’m Shiro screaming hysterically”
  • “I’m that guy who just doesn’t give any shits”

★ Allura is forever deemed Space Beyoncé

★ Coran has a special cup to protect his mustache from getting tea in it

Lance, waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat: Does liking Keith make me a furry?

★ Voltron malfunctioned somehow and threw them all onto the planet they were saving and no one has recovered

  • “I WANT A FUCKING REFUND, THIS MAGIC CAT MAN THREW ME OUT BITCH”
  • Voltron somehow beat it on it’s own???
  • Everyone is salty bc it did a better job than they ever did

★ “It’s okay if you’re a furry and a texan, we still love you.” “i alREADY HAD TO DEAL WITH YOUR BROTHER BUT NOW T H I S”

★ Slav hangs around and drags everyone into the Multiverse theory

★ “gO GO POWER RANGERS” **bad sound effects**

★ They argue over what sound the particle barrier makes

  • “Guys, no. it makes that sound when you hear a window opening, y’know?”
  • “No, Lance, it’s more like the sound you hear when you’re on a swing”
  • “Both of you are wrong, it makes that sound you hear when you drop out of the sky”
  • “WE ARE STILL FIGHTING THE GALRA. But it actually makes a noise kinda like Shwooop.”

★ “How are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals??”

  • “Hire Voltron”
  • “Everyone started hiring Voltron”
  • “Rich important people hired Voltron. Poor people who could not afford to hire Voltron did not hire Voltron”

★ **The Galra start attacking the ship** “Knock knock, it’s the Galra. With huge ships. With guns. Gunships.”

★ Shiro voice: Think about it, everyday we get one day closer to getting nachos

  • Hunk voice: that’s actually really nice
  • Pidge voice: what if i die tomorrow and don’t get nachos?
  • Keith voice: then tomorrow is nacho lucky day
  • Lance voice: nO

★ Lance is always the last to find things out without fail

★ Once something was inside the castle that basically put people into a coma when the went to sleep, so everyone had to stay up for at least 2 weeks straight

  • Keith was so sleep deprived that he told Lance bad space pick-up lines for two hours while they cuddled
  • THEY WEREN’T DATING YET

★ They have a board that reads “The last time we did something gay”

  • The longest they’ve gone is 4 days

★ Everyone always forgets what number they are

  • Coran: Come on, number 3, I have something to show you!
  • The Paladins:  **Caveman spongebob meme**

★ “hEY NOW, YOU’RE IN VOLTRON, GET YOUR LION, GET REKT”

★ They have Bonding Sessions where they talk about their families and what they hope they’re doing

★ Everyone thinks it’s Keith or Pidge who talk about punching Iverson, but nope, it’s Hunk

  • He told everyone that Matt, Professor Holt and Shiro were dead and is probably telling his family the same thing
  • He’s not letting that shit slide

★ They visit Balmera regularly so Hunk can see his rock girlfriend

  • BALLmera is life amirite?”

★ Everyone has so many questions over Allura’s hair

  • “Is her hair made out of clouds, or am i dreaming?”
  • “How did she get all of that into a bun? i can barely put my hair into a ponytail wtf”

★ “I’m paladin” “I hate this fucking family”

★ No one can count how many times they’ve seen Keith staring at Lance while he wasn’t looking

Coran, obviously frustrated shortly after Pidge goes missing at some point: HOW DO YOU LOSE A WOMAN?

  • Hunk, quietly, but with a lot of feeling: You forget to cherish her
*ACOWAR SPOILERS*

Anyway Moriel shippers whining about Mor being gay can suck my dick lol.

Is it probably tokenism? Yes. Is it probably going to be lazy, last minute representation? Yes. Do any of you homophobes using these things for your complaints actually fucking give a shit about whether or not it’s tokenism? No! You’re just homophobic, so stop pretending like you actually care about the quality of gay representation!

I can’t believe some of you actually have the audacity to to say shit like “this is coming out of nowhere” and “Mor just doesn’t SEEM like she’s gay” and “but poor Azriel!” and “but I wanted Moriel to happen!” and “I’m not saying I don’t want representation, I just don’t think it should be Mor.”

First of all, if you’re straight (and most of the people complaining here are) how DARE you say anything about Mor “seeming gay” or not. How DARE you. What the actual fuck could you possibly know about it. Nothing. You could know nothing.

Second of all, of COURSE you don’t think it should be Mor. You CARE about Mor. Mor is beautiful, bubbly, funny, smart, outgoing. Her storyline is important to the main plot. She’s survived tragedy and emerged triumphant. You relate to her. And most of all, you want her to get together with a male character. And for her to be GAY? Oh no! Now this is ruined for you. Now she’s not perfect anymore. God forbid gay people have a gay character with positive traits they can look up to and relate to in a series. God forbid ONE character out of a TON of straights had to be made gay and now you can’t relate anymore.

I’ve seen multiple people say “I like the representation, but I thought Mor should be with Azriel and Amren should be gay. Why couldn’t it be Amren?” This. Is VERY telling. Amren is described as not overly beautiful, she has a more abrasive personality, and most importantly, she doesn’t seem interested in any kind of romantic relationship. At all. Her being gay would not get in the way of ANY of your straight romances/ships/plots. It probably would’t even be brought up a lot, because it’s doubtful she’d even be with someone. So people saying that Amren would have been a better candidate feels very much like “Ugh, the gays can HAVE that weird freak Amren, but it’s not fair they get that pretty girl! How can MOR be gay?? What about the boy I want as her boyfriend?”

So many people are shielding themselves from being called homophobic by saying “I want a character to be LGBT! I want there to be representation for LGBT! (Just not THIS character)” Well that’s bullshit, first of all because the way you say “LGBT” instead of “LGBT characters” or “gay characters” kinda reveals the way you view representation as some nebulous kind of check-the-box category to get over with instead something actually important, and second of all because the “LGBT representation” that you’re “all for” is a very specific kind of representation. It’s the kind that isn’t really representation at all.

You’re “all for LGBT rep,” but you never actually want characters you LIKE to be gay. You never want the characters you ship in straight relationships to turn out gay. You want the ugly characters, the evil characters (who are going to die anyway), the characters who never end up in relationships, (and the “smol bean xD” men who you fetishize and ship with other men, but that’s another issue) to turn out gay. That way you can pat yourself on the back for how good and diverse your series is while continuing to enjoy the main straight characters in their straight relationships. That way you’re never forced to invest in the humanity of gay people and their stories, because their “stories” are just a casual mention of their sexuality, or a side plot so tiny it might as well not exist (like in tog).

And as for “poor Azriel!” do I really have to tell you why that’s fucking dumb? I guess it’s not uncommon in this fandom to always prioritize men over women (re: “poor Rhysand when Feyre had to sleep with her abuser that must have been so hard for HIM!!”), but still. Listen to yourself.

On top of all of this, I find it pretty funny (I don’t. I don’t find it funny. At all. None of this is funny it makes me want to vomit) that straight people are throwing a tantrum and acting like it’s the worst thing ever that a ship they were passionate about couldn’t work out because of the characters’ sexualities. HAHAHAHAHAHA! The irony of it, honestly, and the fact that none of you realize it… wow. Do y’all. Have any idea. How many times that happens to gay readers? On a REGULAR basis?? The two characters are similar. Have good chemistry. Interact in a way that hints at a relationship. Would be perfect together. You care about them, you grow invested. And just when you think they might be endgame… oops! They’re straight, and they can’t be together. I don’t have an ounce of pity for people saying that they’re SO upset by this because they were in love with the ship and now it can’t happen because of sexuality. This is our LIFE. It happened to you one fucking time, and the relationship wasn’t even that developed; somehow I think you’ll be okay.

To sum it up, when I hear people complaining about Mor being gay because they thought she should be with Azriel, literally all I hear is “wait but gay people are fine only as long as they don’t get in the way of straight ships and characters :( why can’t they stay on the fringes of the plot where they belong and leave us straights alone :( we used to have 100% of the characters and plot and now we only have 99% :( life is so hard :(“

It’s honestly just really disheartening to see straight people responding so nastily to this, especially when this is just a tiny drop of real representation. Mor’s sexuality might not end up being well done in the book, but there are a lot of gay and bi girls who read these books and this could genuinely make a difference to them. And THAT will ALWAYS be more important than the success of a straight ship, especially in a series in which there is absolutely NO shortage of straight ships and characters. Go pick two of the other 10,000 straight characters to ship and leave us alone.

Harry Styles Imagine Masterlist

  1. You have a bad day
  2. Yells at you when you bother him while he’s at the studio
  3. Convinces you not to break up with him
  4. Get into a fight
  5. Niall kisses you
  6. Both of you are famous and friends, like each other
  7. You find drugs in his gym bag - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
  8. He’s jealous of a frat boy 
  9. He takes you to his hometown to meet his family
  10. Fame gets to his head, you break up with him - Part 1 - Part 2
  11. Cheating on your husband with Harry
  12. He’s a bad boy and falls for you Part 1 - Part 2
  13. Reporter makes fun of Harry’s autistic girlfriend in an interview
  14. He gets drunk and tells you he likes you
  15. You think he is going to hit you during an argument
  16. Romantic smut 
  17. He forgets your birthday
  18. You find engagement ring before he proposes
  19. Based off of Underneath Your Clothes by Shakira
  20. Talks with you when you can’t sleep
  21. Sings Little Things to your Daughter on stage
  22. Harry is a boxer
  23. Louis was your childhood bully
  24. Plays Call or Delete at radio interview and calls you
  25. Cuddles
  26. Neither of you know how to take care of your newborn baby
  27. Harry is a soldier and comes home 
  28. He teases you during dinner
  29. Kisses pregnant girlfriends belly
  30. Finds out girlfriend is on drugs Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
  31. Based off of Stutter by The Veronicas
  32. Make him breakfast on his day off
  33. Going through a divorce Part 1 - Part 2
  34. Early morning together
  35. #TheAmandasMeetHarryStyles
  36. Y/N gets raped at a bar
  37. Yells at his daughter and upsets her
  38. Wants to date Harry, he doesn’t feel the same Part 1 - Part 2
  39. He was a player until he met you
  40. You have a panic attack at a meet and greet
  41. Sexy time
  42. He assures your child that he will love them all the same when you have his actual child
  43. Get drunk and confess you love him
  44. He helps you with body image issues
  45. Get drunk and reveal your biggest secret
  46. Get in fight on your honeymoon
  47. Gets mad when girl pays bill on date
  48. Both of you are famous Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
  49. Harry is a frat boy and you get into a fight
  50. He is a fan boy for you
  51. Likes to post about you and your baby online
  52. His long term girlfriend gets hate
  53. His son runs on stage to be with him
  54. Your son calls him daddy Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 
  55. His girlfriend has trichotillomania
  56. He helps you feel beautiful
  57. It’s your 21st birthday
  58. He is a soldier and surprises you on TV
  59. Meet online and you think you’re being catfished
  60. Had an unexpected pregnancy together at 16
  61. He’s a firefighter
  62. Kids are daddy’s girl and momma’s boy
  63. He gets your name secretly tattooed on him
  64. He confesses he loves you at award show
  65. Surprises you on the red carpet
  66. Catches his sister smoking weed
  67. Your relationship is falling apart
  68. Meet at after party Part 1 - Part 2 -Part 3
  69. He helps you with your sexuality
  70. Famous girlfriend finds out she’s pregnant, worried about fans reaction
  71. Girlfriend sings song in another language, he really likes it
  72. Find out teenage daughter is having sex
  73. Kiss in the rain
  74. Based off of Wolves by One Direction
  75. He gets dumped
  76. You find out he’s a boxer
  77. Based off of 10 Things I Hate About You
  78. You come out as bi and get hate
  79. Doesn’t know who you are after surgery
  80. Watches your Uni dance team practice
  81. He falls for a 16 year old
  82. Comforts you when you’re nervous before a big show
  83. Paparazzi make your daughter cry and son yell at them
  84. Announces you’re pregnant at award show
  85. Fans always ‘ship’ you together; end up dating
  86. He has a crush on you but thinks you hate him
  87. He comforts you when you’re on your period
  88. Helps you through childbirth
  89. His little sister is secretly dating Niall
  90. Little sister, jealous of him spending so much time with Gemma
  91. He takes you to see the Koala’s
  92. I Hate You, I Love You
  93. Birthday proposal 
  94. He surprises you at book signing
  95. When It All Falls Apart - The Veronicas
  96. Does a Youtube video with you
  97. You’re part of the band Part 1 - Part 2
  98. Little sister jealous of his girlfriend
  99. Fluffy date night
  100. She’s a rich girl
  101. Little sister gets her period
  102. Valentine’s Day
  103. You break up with him
  104. He watches anime with you
  105. He’s nervous to talk to you
  106. He confesses he loves you at your wedding
  107. You confess you loves him before his wedding
  108. Makes Youtube video with you
  109. Dating Victoria’s Secret Model
  110. Boys make fun of your relationship
  111. Girlfriend has more tattoos than him
  112. Rude to you at the gym
  113. Romantic night in hotel
  114. Gets you pregnant at 16
  115. You do his first solo interview
  116. Flirts with Niall’s girlfriend
  117. Servant in your house
  118. Pool day
  119. Shadow 
  120. It’s your birthday
  121. Starts working with your abusive ex
  122. Cheers you up after bff fight
  123. Guest songwriter
  124. Supports model girlfriend
Suga’s Ships Appreciation Post

First off, lets start with Yoonmin, the smol ship

“When the members make fun of me, Jimin is the only one that tells me that it’s okay and that I’m good-looking.” -Min Yoongi

Originally posted by minsecretsoul

Then we’ve got Yoonseok, the playful ship

“Whenever I’m sad I gain strength from looking at you.” -Min Yoongi to Jung Hoseok

Originally posted by sweetlyoriginalthing

After, we’ve got Sugamon, the inspirational ship

“A leader you can count on always. You will never find a leader like him.” -Min Yoongi about Kim Namjoon

Then we have Yoonjin, the responsible ship

“Instead of saying I need him, he makes me feel at ease when he’s around. He doesn’t need to do anything, just being there makes me feel at ease.” -Min Yoongi about Kim Seokjin

Originally posted by syubprince

Now, Yoonkook, the caring ship

“Why are you guys teasing him?” -Min Yoongi

Originally posted by tabwi

And last, we’ve got Taegi, the dorky ship

“I’d want to switch bodies with Suga because I think he has the best part in Cypher part 3.” -Kim Taehyung

Originally posted by kimrapmon

(GIF AND PICTURE CREDITS TO OWNERS)

Boyfriend Namjoon
  • i literally don’t even know where start
  • he’ll always treat like a fucking princess
  • always taking you shopping
  • expensive dinners at a 5 star restaurants
  • you name it  
  • watching conspiracy videos together
  • listening to him ramble on about the conspiracies with his head in your lap and your playing with his hair
  • he is super protective of you
  • always taking huge chunks of time out of his schedule to be with you
  • and whenever he couldn’t he’d be constantly apologizing or find a way to make it up to you
  • leaving you different books that he thinks you’ll like
  • “Hey jagi have you heard this song”
  • sharing headphones in the car
  • any moment could turn sexual
  • like you’ll be and one wrong move and he’s kissing all over your neck with his hands all over your body
  • he loves it when you kiss his nose but will refuse to admit it
  • waking up to random stuff broken
  • “Namjoon!“
  • "I honestly don’t know what happened it’s not my fault tho”
  • accidentally talking till 3am
  • super sweet good morning texts when he’s away
  • he loves to call you “princess or baby girl”
  • his hand never leaves the small of your back
  • watching kdramas together cuddled up next to each other with like 3 blankets and popcorn
  • his hand also never leaves your ass
  • picking out each others outfits is
  • “Namjoon I can’t wear this”
  • both of you making songs about everyday things
  • like you guys would have a cooking song a cleaning song literally everything
  • helping handle the 5 man children
  • when your in public he likes to intertwine your fingers with his
  • and kiss your hand
  • if he’s nervous he’ll play with your fingers
  • after fights he’ll always make it up to you ;)))))
  • and then buy you 3475274 different teddy bears
  • honestly Namjoon would be such a considerate and understanding boyfriend ugh he’s just so sweet just protect him  

Originally posted by jiminrolls

5

DON’T LOOK AT ME PLS OMG
it gets a bit confusing to me coz i have a male oc that looks like how i draw zarya orz I FORGOT ZARYA’S TATTOOS IM SORRY

Tythan Stuff

I don’t really know what to call this, but have a bunch of little ideas as to why Tythan can be real at this moment. (Not all of these are completely mine. Some I found here on Tumblr.)

•We never confirmed Tyler’s sexuality. Think about it.
•Mark has talked about being in a gay bar to accompany friends. Maybe one was Tyler?
•Tythan lives in the same house. Who knows what they do when they aren’t recording? Cuddle, maybe?
•Ethan once said here on Tumblr that he never lived with Mark. If Tyler also never lived with Mark, maybe those two always lived together for relationship reasons? (Or I’m just thinking too hard.)
•As I said before, Ethan looks happy in pictures where Tyler is touching him.
•Tythan holds hands in pictures where they think nobody can see them. (If you look deep enough in the Tythan tag, you’ll find it.)
•Tyler once liked a tweet where someone said they shipped him and Ethan.
•"Eth"
•"Baby Boy" and “Baby Boy Blue”
•"Big Boy"
•They help each other.
•Correct me if I’m wrong, but Tyler never teases Ethan on camera while everyone else is saying Ethan’s intro.
•Sometimes, you can see jealous Tyler when someone is touching Ethan.

Edit: So a bunch of people are asking about the holding hands part. If you look far enough into @jazzboy-tythan ’s account or my account, you should see a picture of Ethan and Amy. Look in the windows and boom, you found it.
A Supernatural thought:

When Jimmy Novak died, he went to heaven and met up with his wife. I remember this clearly because I teared up. So I would assume that Mary and John would have come together in heaven, as well. Now, of course she wouldn’t remember that, but wouldn’t John be in heaven freaking out right now? He’s just having a good time with his wife and all of sudden she is just gone. I am surprised he hasn’t busted his way out of heaven.

anonymous asked:

I'm not sure if someone has already asked you this, but why Miraculous?

I don’t choose the fandom, the fandom chooses me.

Like many people, when I watched the first one or two episodes of ML, I kind of laughed it off as a cute, cringe-worthy kid’s show. Then my mother unexpectedly came home with a ladybug shaped donut from Krispy Kreme while I had the second episode paused on my tablet and I got roundhouse kicked by the sense that I was meant to go down this rabbit hole.

So I kept watching, and after the next couple of episodes I found myself excited to keep watching. It was just so different from everything else I’d watched. Set in Paris. Inspired by the magical girl genre but there was a magical boy, too?? And Adrien is just so refreshing?? The tension of the love square’s back-and-forth unrequited feelings. Diverse characters. A villain who uses butterflies, one of the least threatening creatures on the planet, in a sinister way. Male friendships portrayed in a super healthy way. Fun character designs. A main character who is FLAWED and ALLOWED TO BE FLAWED and a guy who CALLS HER OUT on her shit behavior even though he’s in love with her. 

And let’s be real, Marinette is me at age fifteen. Memorizing a guy’s schedule? Scheming ways to get close to him? Every other girl is the enemy? Me. All me. She is so gosh darn relatable.

On top of that, there’s the promise of things to come: a deeper mystery, more Miraculous heroes, more story-driven episodes. And going backwards, the history of how the show came to be is pretty dang great (TA’s Ladybug comic covers, the Quantic kids, the anime PV on YouTube).

The shipping… speaks for itself. The love square interactions cause exactly the kind of cognitive dissonance required for me to write fan fiction. “These two are in love but they don’t know it. I MUST FIX THIS. I MUST FIX THIS TEN MILLION TIMES.”

And character dynamics, man. The Agreste family is so fascinating I just want to put them under a microscope and watch them forever. Gabriel, hurting his son in his grief. Adrien, suffering alone. Nathalie, trying to intervene. The Gorilla, protecting them. Mamagreste, mysteriously missing. Just add superpowers. Just imagine the amount of conflict that would arise from Adrien and Gabriel discovering each other. Imagine the feeling of the betrayal, the “I’m doing this for us,” the choice Adrien would have to make between the right thing and getting his mother back. 

It makes me euphoric, Anon. I’m a writer with a bachelor’s degree in psychology. There is so much to play with here.

I’m always sad when I see people say they were unable to get into it. Like, I understand. There are valid criticisms, and if you’re not looking for these things, you won’t find them. But I just think it’s a great show with a lot of Deep Shit going on in the background and the shipping drives me insane in the best of ways so yeah, that’s why Miraculous.

Making out with... Mark

MASTERLIST

Anon: Omg please make the mark make out session im STOKED

Anon: Making out with Mark pleaseeeeee!!!! thx and i love your blog 💙😘

Anon: making out with mark & yuta pls & thank u

Anon: Could you please do a making out with mark?

Anon: Make out with mark

Anon: Can I request making out with Mark??

Wow…okay I didn’t realise how many people wanted this omg… I was actually gonna save it for another time but I think I’ll treat y’all (don’t worry this isn’t as PG as the other members, I am aware how young he is, even if a lot of people don’t lmao, so this isn’t as detailed and I included some different stuff too)

Originally posted by nctuhohahyes


  • Mark would be quite awkward in a relationship
  • So I don’t think skin ship, in any form, would ever be a big thing
  • Whether that was cuddles or hand holding or make out sessions
  • He’d prefer to show his affection through his personal raps to you and words and gifts
  • However there’d be times where he’d be reallyyyyy clingy
  • Maybe once a week, he’d just cling onto you and follow you everywhere
  • Do whatever you do, be wherever you are, eat whatever you eat lmao
  • Ofc you’d find it adorable and wouldn’t complain
  • And you can guarantee that on those kind of days, making out would be on the agenda
  • These sessions wouldn’t be spontaneous but they’d always get your heart racing and you’d blush at the act
  • They’d start with him pulling you into a tight embrace
  • His arms wrapped tightly around your waist
  • Your arms wrapped just as tightly around his neck
  • He’d hold you for a while, just enjoying having you near and smelling your hair
  • Sometimes he’d talk or compliment you, but a lot of the time he wouldn’t
  • This’d be a rare opportunity of silence and comfort for him
  • You’d feel his hands slide up your side, until one is cupping your face lightly
  • And another hand holding your neck lightly
  • Both your hands are pressed up against his chest, clinging onto his shirt and looking up lovingly at the boy above you
  • He’s holding you so tightly, as if you could leave him or fall out of his reach any minute if he did let go
  • You’re both sharing body heat, since you’re pressed up to one another (and no not in a sexually way, in an innocent way i just didn’t know how to describe this ok lol)
  • He ghosts his lips over yours, teasing slightly
  • But also because he’s nervous as hell and just wants to treasure this moment
  • If he goes any faster, the moment will be over sooner
  • And, hell, he doesn’t want that
  • He eventually presses his lips against your softly
  • Making out with Mark is never rushed or rough or messy
  • They’re sweet and soft and slow
  • But that doesn’t mean they’re any less passionate or lovely
  • His lips are warm and soft and they’re never ever chapped
  • Sometimes you’re worried that yours are chapped or rough in comparison to his
  • But he always reassures them that he doesn’t care if they are, and even if they are, it’s not a bad thing
  • That’d be something you loved about him - his words were always comforting and he always made sure you were okay
  • His kisses are slow, he’ll pause sometimes, then go back in to kiss you again
  • Having his hands on your face and neck, he’s the one who controls the kiss
  • He’ll tilt your head slightly
  • Which allows him to kiss you deeper and, in his eyes, better too
  • Doesn’t use much tongue so making out with his isn’t wet or messy like the other members
  • Sometimes he’ll use his tongue but only briefly if he’s feeling confident or daring
  • Likes it when you bite his top lip softly, not in a dirty way, but because it shows you’re comfortable around him to try something like that
  • No but generally, they’re very sweet and innocent make out sessions
  • His lips probably taste of mint from chewing gum all the time
  • When you two pull away, his lips are slightly swollen and tinted pink
  • And he’s so smiley and happy around you
  • It really gives him a confidence boost, making out with you
  • Because he’s glad you love him back and shared a special and innocently intimate moment like that
  • He puts so much emotion into those kisses and he just wants you to feel those emotions
  • They’re special moments that he can only have with you
  • And you put so much passion into them because you love him so much 
  • They last a fair while maybe 10 minutes which isn’t too long nor is it too short
  • Sometimes if you’re both feeling loved up you’ll start doing it again
  • Or if not, he’ll keep you close to him and just press little butterfly kisses all over your face
  • Your nose, eyes, forehead, cheeks, temples, ears, lips
  • He loves hearing you giggle at his actions and it makes his heart flutter so much !!
  • If you do that to him, boy does he get red faced
  • He turns so shy and awkward and hides his face in your hair laughing quietly as you run your hair through his hair in attempt to calm him down lol
  • Mark is also obsessed with your neck like !!!!!
  • He likes to push your hair to one side, and press small timid kisses to the crook of your neck
  • He’ll nuzzle his face there and you can feel him breathing heavily
  • And his heart beating rapidly, feeling the beats on your back where his chest is pressed tightly to
  • It always makes you nervous, having him so close to you
  • Like, you just cannot believe that you have this beautiful, talented idol boyfriend who wants you and only you
  • And he feels the same way as you, if not stronger
  • It doesn’t matter how many kisses or cuddles or compliments or times you see him - you will never be able to get over the fact that Mark Lee is your boyfriend
  • So pls do not leave this boy
  • He does not deserve to be harmed and he’d be such a good BF and would basically worship you

Making out with… series

2

Sterek AU: ‘Munitions and Marriage

While Derek may be squad leader, Stiles will always find an opportunity to challenge his husband.

Quick Fic Recs

What’s up my guys after season 2 I went hunting for some fresh content and found some nice fics, ayo :3c Most of these are Klance because I’m basic and also the general Voltron ao3 tag is scarring on a good day so I don’t like going through it lmaoo.

Honestly you can probably find these fics just by hunting through the first couple of pages but.. whatever lmao

Gen fic:

Knowledge or Death (And Ignorance is Bliss) by squirenonny

Keith tells the rest of the team what he learned in the Trials of Marmora.

[Season Two spoilers! Set between “The Blade of Marmora” and “The Belly of the Weblum”]

So yeah, a nice no-relationships just feel-good-family-feels fic. I felt like the reactions were in-character and realistic, and the way you can see the Paladins adjust and accept Keith warms my heart. I especially enjoyed the platonic Keith and Lance and Keith and Pidge. Really, really nice!!!

Klance fics lmao:

Keep reading

A little drabble inspired by @ripplestitchskein… and also beacuse I would love to have Blackbeard in Storybrooke.


“If it isn’t the glorified canon fodder!”

Killian heard the bane of his existence before he saw him. He’d entered Granny’s with the hope of having a quiet drink before heading home, hoping it gave Emma’s mother enough time to pack up her monstrous wedding planning folder and leave them in peace. He should have known he wouldn’t be so lucky.

Killian swiveled in his stool to face the man occupying the booth near the back of the diner.

“I see you’re still amongst the living. How unfortunate.” Killian snarked as he made his way over to sit himself opposite him.

“I thought I’d try to find the appeal of this hideous town and I’ve got to tell you, Hook. I’m coming up short.”

“No surprise there. You always were on the lacking side.”

“Says the pirate incapable of holding onto his treasure.”

Granny appeared with two glasses and a bottle of rum, placing them wordlessly onto the table before disappearing again.

“That depends on your definition of treasure.” Killian poured them each a generous serving.

“Remind me. How many times now have you lost your ship to me?” Blackbeard asked smugly.

“Enough times to know I always end up getting her back.”

“Is that a wager I sense, Hook?”

“You sure you’ve got the knack for it? You’re looking rather down and out, mate.”

Blackbeard’s eyes bored into him before smirking.

“Cards or dice?”

“Whichever you feel more confident in. I’ll be winning either way.”

“Strong words from such a weak pirate.” Blackbeard taunted as he pulled two dice from his pocket.

“You’re not going to throw a child’s tantrum once I wipe the floor with you, are you?”

“If it’s a duel you’re after, I’ll be happy to splay your defeated carcass out on this strangely tiled floor, just say the word.”

Killian chuckled with fire in his eyes; a spark of that old bloodthirsty villain within rising to the man’s bait.

“Just roll the damn dice, old man.”


Emma heard the loud, boisterous and off-key bellows of their duet as she trudged across the wooden deck to the water’s edge, looming over their seated silhouette’s observing the tide in the darkness.

“Ah! There she is. The love of my life. My beautiful Swan.” Killian greeted her drunkenly.

“So this is the Mrs?”

“Uh… hi?” Emma greeted, confused as to who the hell Killian was with.

“Emma, love. This horrid sight is Blackbeard.”

“Wait.. the Blackbeard? He’s not like… some weird uncle of yours or something, is he?’”

“Not a chance!”  

“Me?! Related to that mongrel?!” Both men objected at her question with vigour.

“So you’re the woman this pathetic sailor lost his ship to me twice for. She’s a sight to behold, I’ll give you that, Hook.”

“Show some respect.” Killian growled.

Blackbeard turned back to a confused Emma with a sloppy smirk, failing in his attempts to look seductive.

“Darling, if it’s a real pirate you wanted, I’d be more than happy to grant you the experience of a night with a true Captain.”

“I will throw you into the water, don’t tempt me.” Killian warned, humour gone from his features.

“Sorry but I like my pirates clean, dashing and in their prime.” Emma threw back at the man.

Blackbeard surprised them both by letting out a guttural laugh, slapping Killian’s knee in the process.

“She’s fantastic!”

“She is also very cold and wanting to go home. Come on, Killian. Let’s get you back.”

Killian agreed as he wrestled himself into a standing position and wrapping his arm around Emma’s shoulders.

“I don’t suppose you’ve got a spare bunk for me to bed down on for the night?”

“Your barnacle encrusted backside is coming nowhere near our home.”

“Ah yes. I forgot. You traded the sea for bricks and mortar. Probably for the best then. Only a true seaman can sleep soundly with the rocking of the waves.”

“Try not to drown, old man.” Killian left him as he and Emma turned from the docks and headed home.


It was two days later when the couple crossed paths with Blackbeard again as they headed down main street.

“I thought I could smell a traitor.”

“Why are you still breathing? I’d have thought you’d have keeled over by now.”

“Oh, the first of us to go will be you considering how soft you’ve gotten. I’d offer to do it now but I don’t want your yellow bellied innards soiling my sword.”

“Say the word, Blackbeard. I’ll happily put you out of your misery like the tired old sea-dog you are.”

“You keep dreaming big, Hook.” Blackbeard turned and began to walk away as if their presence wasn’t worth his time.

“You’re on borrowed time, remember that!”

Killian muttered curses about the ‘scurvy riddled cretin’ as he turned back to an open mouthed Emma.

“I don’t get it. You two were making with the singing and drunken antics the other night. What happened?”

“It’s a pirate thing, love. It’s just the way it is.” He explained, rather embarrassed.

Emma shook her head, not understand the strange relationship her fiancé held with the other notorious pirate in town one bit.