EREN YEAGER - Little piece of shit who tends to have mental breakdowns if he has’nt revenge himself. Suffers anger management issues and prefers killing things then solving problems. Too honest to say things that he’s scream at a horse if he hates them.
MIKASA ACKERMAN - OP Exotic Asian who is the only one left who doesn’t play Starcraft, star in JAVs or eat exotic Asian food, because she’s the last Asian in the walls. Obsessed with angery little boys who likes to kill giant mexicans that hate Trump and his three coencetric walls.
ARMIN ARTLERT - Coconut cinnamon roll that looks exactly like some trap in a shitty hentai. oh wait, he does… Likes to think all day and possibly can become the next Archimedes without the barrel thing that is. Screams in E minor when his friends get eaten.
LEVI ACKERMAN - Probably the only one who shoplifts all the cleaning products and the growth pills in your friendly neighboorhood marketplace. Too sazzy to hide his depression and really likes to drink tea so much that everytime you say black tea is shit, he’ll dfksdafrfskerfoejnmtienbiwanbdkasn msdfsdfgsdgujuyiujjhgxdfhthyt
JEAN KIRSCHTEIN - probably came to be from a new magical breed of unicorns and humans. They say that if you hate Eren, you’ll be given magical powers by Jean like flight, laser vision and teleportation. His hobbies is cosplaying everyone he hates and @hajime-isayama-official likes him so much that even @zekejaegerofficial considered him as a seedling.
SASHA BRAUS - The only reason why @asktrollkeithshadis even existed… Eats everything she sees and will leave you paying for the bill. She gets exhausted easily but can run up to 200km/s if potatoes were involved.
CONNIE SPRINGER - Not to be confused with Springles, he might be Krillin teleported into another universe, he might be the avatar or the One Punch Man or possibly Mr. Clean’s child but from what I know, he’s actually the Hobbit.
REINER BRAUN - Mad delusional shipperfag as they say. He ships himself with Krista all the time if he’s not busy breaking other’s walls or sneaking in girls rooms to watch them sleep while breathing heavily like a gorilla.
BERTOLT HOOVER - The only one in the group who seems indifferent, is it because the way he only stick to his friends or is it because he’s gay for Annie or is it because the way he smells just because he sweats 24/7?
ANNIE LEONHART - Possibly the pre-existence of pure anger and a perfect example of confining objects, in this case anger in a small space. Likes Eren secretly which makes her a big target to Mikasa and little did we know that she actually turns into a titan by extending her nose
MARCO BODT - The one in the squad who probably died a virgin. Never got the chance to use his freckles in battle which is originally a missile launcher and doubles up as christmas lights. His favorite song is “Half Way There” by Big Time Rush.
KRISTA LENZ / HISTORIA REISS - Bow down to the queen, bitches! She’s best in playing hide-and-seek especially when it comes to her identity and getting away with her bitch of a father. Hangs out with lesbians and would likely join the girl scouts if she hadn’t had a choice between the military or the labor camp.
YMIR - Lesbian titan deity of some sort, thinks of marrying blondies when they become queens and is too much of a dick or pussy in helping the enemy get away. The reason also why Krista’s mind is broken AF.
HANGE ZOE - likes to discover the world in dirty ways like dissecting giagantic humanoids and tortures the fuck outta them. would never hesitate to kill you if you never gave her a titan body pillow before she sleeps.
MOBLIT BERNER - Alcohol is his favorite pasttime. He enjoys weekends by finding ways to never be Hange’s assistant. And probably throws people into wells when explosions as big as Tsar Bomba or Megumin’s explosions were involved.
ERWIN SMITH - Lonely man who wants a peek to what he tought the greates Porn Stash in all of the Walls. His eyebrows were actually culture and it actually grows hands to punch the next person to insult hifokmadndfnsaknamsadfasfkdsgmfrlhmfdghdfgdfgd
NILE DOK - Much of a chicken he is… A good family man and is just man of honor. Too bad he did’nt join the Survey for the laughs everytime someone they hate gets eaten by a titan.
DOT PIXIS - Not to be confused with Springles, After his retirement, Pixis who is also called by his alternate name Mr. Clean; enjoyed life by joining the military. He enjoys drinking Wine and having long naps atop the walls… Too bad he doesn’t fall down.
DARIUS ZACKLY - Pedophile who enjoys torturing nobles by his favorite fetishes. Calls his hobby, art… And possibly holds the World Recored for Man With The Best Facial Hair.
GRISHA YEAGER - Stole the BEST DAD AWARD from Van Hohenheim, Goku and Gendo Ikari for the act of turning his children into titans.
ZEKE YEAGER - Isayama’s fetish buddy. has too many good attributes that I can describe off.. @zekejaegerofficial, do you even have bad attributes? Best son ever, ironically speaking…
HAJIME ISAYAMA - Award winning author of the whole goddamn series. His favorite pastime is watching UFC, Game of Thrones, fapping to Momoiro Color Z members and drinking the tears of all his fans everytime he kills a character in the manga.