shift crew

anonymous asked:

Wait what is this story about colin baker in the woods, you can't just say that and leave us hanging

 oh god, okay… this is a fairly long story that colin baker relates in the dvd commentary for mark of the rani, i will be paraphrasing it but i’m pretty certain i remember all the major details because i was laughing SO hard the first time i heard it

first of all you have to know that mark of the rani was filmed on location in this particular village and the public woods surrounding it, and also that the weather was being rather inconsistent on this one day. it kept raining and then the rain would stop again, so every time the rain shifted, the whole filming crew would immediately jump up and run between two locations – for continuity reasons, because they were alternately filming one scene where it needed to be raining and one where it was sunny

so they’re doing this scene where the doctor is tied up and hanging from a pole like so:

it’s super uncomfortable to be actually hanging from a pole by one’s wrists and ankles for multiple takes of a scene, so the crew built some kind of contraption to make it easier on him… it was basically a metal frame-like thing that was hidden under his jacket and pants, supporting his back so that he wouldn’t actually be straining his wrists, i guess? at any rate, the downside of this was that this thing took a LONG time to set up, so it wasn’t possible to UNTIE him from the pole in between takes, so they just kind of. set him down on the ground. during the moments when they weren’t filming

anyways, in the middle of this situation with the intermittent weather, at some point it starts raining and the director calls for everyone to go to the other current filming location!! everyone is rushing about trying to get the cameras and props and people over there as quickly as possible (because you never know when the rain will change again) and in all of this hullaballoo they somehow manage to

forget colin baker on the ground

(actually he said that he sort of noticed them leaving him behind but was initially hesitant to say anything, thinking “surely i’m just missing something and they’ll come get me in a moment” and then by the time he fully realized he was left behind, they were too far out of earshot for him to say anything)

so he’s just like. well. i’ll just wait. and they’ll figure it out soon enough

he lies there tied to this pole for a good ten minutes or so until he hears someone coming down the path

but it is not the film crew, because these are PUBLIC WOODS they are filming in. it’s a random middle-aged couple walking their dog. and the dog comes running up to colin baker (who is a little ways off of the main path) and sniffing him and barking

and the couple just … look at him, tied to the pole on the ground… he said he could tell that they didn’t recognize him as being dr. who, so god knows what they thought about his COAT

he looks at them

there is a deeply awkward silence in which he doesn’t know what he could possibly say about the situation of him being TIED TO A POLE IN THE WOODS and they are clearly being TOO POLITE AND PROPER AND BRITISH-Y to bring it up

eventually one of them is like “nice weather today isn’t it” and he’s like “er yes quite” and they just keep going and leave him lying there on the ground tied to the pole

he just stays there for another twenty minutes or so until FINALLY he sees one of the camera crew running back to get him while yelling “COLIN OH MY GOD WE’RE SO SORRY”

…aaand that is the colin baker tied to a pole in the woods story, more or less as related by colin baker himself, aka my all time favorite thing that ever happened behind the scenes of doctor who!! ACTOR DVD COMMENTARIES ARE SO WORTH WATCHING, KIDS

“Winn had obviously really worried about J'onn so I would love to see you explore some of his daddy issues coming to light and how scared he was to lose J'onn” from @laurarasmith and @youkrazykartoshka “More of Winn and being stoked about Superman and Papa Bear Space Dad!”

Final scene, redone, following this fic – https://queercapwriting.tumblr.com/post/160977528449/obligatory-holy-shit-we-survived-and-also


At least when he sits by J’onn’s bedside all night, he’s not alone.

Because James’s father was wonderful, but James’s father is dead, and he stops by to make sure Winn eats, and he stops by to ask for updates her knows aren’t there and stays in silence and keeps his hand on Winn’s thigh.

Because Alex’s father tried to commit genocide in her name, and she falls asleep on Winn’s shoulder, her hand holding J’onn’s.

Because Kara’s father designed a virus that could kill an entire species – again with the genocide – and he evaporated along with the rest of her entire life, and she brings Winn and Alex and James blankets and settles in next to them to sleep.

Because Maggie’s father decided his daughter’s survival was less important than his comfort, and he disowned her on the spot when she was still a child, and she curls onto Alex’s lap and Alex, even in her sleep, strokes Maggie’s hair gently.

So at least he’s not alone when he sits at J’onn’s bedside all night, in those small moments where they can all catch the minimum amount of sleep that they need to keep functioning, to keep fighting.

He’s not alone, but god, is he still scared.

Scared because for the first time in his life – well, his life After, as he calls it in his head – he is part of a family. 

Part of a family that loves him, being fathered by a man whose version of manhood doesn’t make Winn’s feel smaller or less important, whose importance and esteem doesn’t rest on bottled up rage, but on carefully savored memories and wisdoms.

Part of a family that believes in him. That comes back for him, every time. That accepts him, video games and fear of yelling and inability to use guns and all.

Accepts him for more than what they can get from him: a family that accepts him, that loves him, just for… him.

J’onn doesn’t need Winn to be like him.

He just needs him to be himself.

And Winn’s never had that. Never had any of this.

And it terrifies him, because if J’onn doesn’t pull through… he shudders, and he stirs the entire crew. 

Alex shifts and kisses his shoulder sloppily. “He’s gonna be mmkay, Winn,” she murmurs groggily, because she has to believe it, she has to, she has to, she has to.

Maggie stirs harder at the sound of her girlfriend’s voice, and she burrows her head deeper into Alex’s lap. “I la you, bae,” she mutters, and Alex smiles and sighs happily, and Winn decides he should encourage them to sleep talk more often, because maybe, just maybe, then they won’t be able to scare him senseless anymore.

But the way they scare him? For fun, in love? Always in ways that they check in with him about?

He can’t lose that. Can’t lose any of this. And losing J’onn? Would be losing this.

They all jolt awake when proximity sensors start to blare, all jolt awake and murmur recovery wishes and love to J’onn, and scatter out of the room, to their own respective war roles.

And he does his surprisingly well.

He saves the world with Lena Luthor, and he knows everything would be empty if he didn’t have his Space Dad, his Papa Bear – J’onn would probably kill him, or at least fire him on the spot, if he heard his nicknames for him – to be proud of him.

And when he sees him, walking and himself and awake and conscious and healthy and alive, god, alive, it’s even better than seeing Superman.

And he runs; he can’t help it.

And he calls him Papa Bear; he can’t help it.

And he throws himself into J’onn’s arms; he can’t help it.

Just like he can’t help it later that night.

Later that night when Alex and Maggie took Kara home, and everyone else was trying to get some much needed sleep. 

Trying and failing.

James is his first phone call. 

J’onn is his second.

They agree, all of them, that tonight is a night to be together.

They converge on Alex’s apartment, expecting to find a weepy Kara and a lot of potstickers.

They find potsticker containers, but no Kara. Just a very naked, very entangled Alex and Maggie, asleep on Alex’s bed.

“Whoa!” Winn cries involuntarily, and he’s staring down Alex’s alien ray gun before he can blink. M’gann snorts and James studiously examines the ceiling.

“What the hell, guys?” Alex lowers her gun, and J’onn crosses his arms and averts his eyes, suddenly finding one of Maggie’s bonsai trees the most fascinating creature on the planet.

“I told you we should call them first,” he says, perhaps to the little tree, and James and Winn toss up their arms in belated agreement.

“Toss me my shirt, would you, Schott?” Alex asks, a sleepy snicker in her voice, and Winn tries to do it with his eyes closed. He misses by a long shot, and turns fully around when Alex groans and pads across her room to get it – and to collect Maggie’s shirt and underwear.

“Okay,” she calls. “Now what the hell are you guys doing here?”

“We thought Kara came home with you guys. We thought the gang would all be here.”

“She was, but Lena came to pick her up,” Maggie tells them, cobwebs still in her voice.

“I did, and now we’re back,” a new voice announces from the doorway, and Lena and Kara step inside. “We had a soothing evening, but she missed her sister. And, it seems, so did everyone.”

“Ms. Luthor,” J’onn greets, politely nodding as his girlfriend and his children try not to laugh at who won which bet about when Kara and Lena would finally get together. “Thank you for your invaluable role in saving the world.”

“The pleasure was mine, sir,” she inclines her head, and Kara beams, but tiredly.

“Can we sleep?” she says, and Alex and Maggie both immediately pat the bed between them.

Lena raises her eyebrows. “Kara stays here whenever she has nightmares, or when there’s a thunderstorm,” Maggie explains, and Lena smiles sympathetically, adoringly, at Kara.

“Okay, so Kara and Lena and James and Winn, we can all fit on the bed if you boys go sideways on the bottom,” Alex instructs, and M’gann grins.

“Got her trained in strategic tactics even in the bedroom,” she murmurs to J’onn, who groans through a grin.

“I’m not commenting on that,” Maggie chimes, face the picture of innocence, and Alex and Kara both blush deeply.

“And Papa Bear and M’gann – not sure if you’re comfortable being Mama Bear – “

“No one ever said I was comfortable with Papa Bear, Mr. Schott.”

“I know, J’onn, but I’m sorry, that’s just who you are! Our space parents – is that better? – can get the pullout couch! Just like a real family sleepover! Like with a real family!”

Maggie kisses Alex, Lena squeezes Kara’s hand, and J’onn covers Winn’s shoulders with his hands.

“It’s like a real family because we are a real family, Winn,” he tells him, and they all sleep the better for it.

So Henry’s got the storybook with him at the wedding. Now, realistically, it COULD just be for convenience sake so they don’t have to waste time having him look for it when the Black Fairy inevitably screws shit up (since we know he has it his scenes with her on main street in the finale), however, I think there has to be an in-show, wedding related reason, and I think our options are…

- Henry is going to read from the book, from Emma and Killian’s bits of the story, during the ceremony or reception.

- He brought it so he can do his thing as the Author and record his mother and Killian’s wedding in with all of the other fairytales.

Those are the two plausible scenarios I see atm, and EITHER ONE WILL KILL ME 😢😍

Prompt: From anon: Hey, first of all, I love your stories! ❤️ Could you maybe write a Leonard McCoy Imagine with the Reader being selectively mute and he somehow manages to “make her talk to him”, if it’s not too much? I am selectively mute so it’s quite difficult and most of the time even impossible for me to socialise. Would be really cool :) 
Word Count: 1814
Author’s Note: I know this was a specific Bones request, but Spock hasn’t had a lot of action on my dash ever, and I felt he needed to be seen a little. Hope you like the fic, Nony!


“Y/N, do you have the samples ready for processing?” Spock stood beside you, looking over your shoulder. You nodded, and handed him the tray of vials. He nodded his thanks and stepped away, heading to the mass spectrometer. You were so grateful for the quiet way Spock just accepted you. He’d never questioned why you found it so difficult to speak, he just adapted his communication style to meet your needs. His messages to you were clear and concise and he’d commented on how well you expressed yourself through writing, which made it easier for him to just keep verbal communication to questions that could be answered with a nod or shake of the head. He might not completely understand your condition, but he respected your mind, and ensured you felt like a valuable and appreciated member of the Science division.

You checked your duty list, and proceeded to the next task. You were going to be working with some volatile chemicals. Spock seemed to assign you those duties a lot. He’d explained once that it was a question of logic to do so. You didn’t engage in social conversations while you worked, and therefore were less likely to be distracted by the other crew in the lab. This made your safety precautions more effective. You didn’t really mind. You knew that being diligent with your tasks would eventually lead to a promotion, which you’d never really considered when you first joined Starfleet, but you’d begun to realize was a very real possibility under the fair supervision of Spock.

It was nearing the end of your shift, and the captain had announced shore leave around the midpoint of the shift, so the crew was feeling distracted and rowdy. You knew you had enough time to get the investigation started, and once the chemicals were mixed, they needed nearly a week to sit before you could progress. Having shore leave in the mix was going to make the progress of the investigation feel a lot faster. You really wanted to have those first steps complete before you got on the shuttle to Risa. As you poured a particularly caustic chemical from its container into the measuring beaker, you got jostled by another lab technologist, and splashed the chemical on your arm. In surprise and pain, you cried out. It was the first time anyone in the lab had heard your voice, and Spock was over to you in an instant. He didn’t need to hear any explanations from the other crew member to know what had happened, and he led you swiftly over to the shower, rinsing the wound thoroughly. He drew the shower curtain to protect your modesty, and took a pair of scissors from the hook in the shower, cutting away your uniform with a cool indifference that made you feel safe, despite your nudity. He continued to focus the spray of the shower on the red areas of your skin, keeping one eye on the timer and another on your burns.

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Touch-Starved Jim

I can’t help but imagine that Jim is completely touch-starved. His mom was never on planet and his step-dad was an asshole, so Jim was rarely ever touched. Imagine that when he becomes Captain of the Enterprise he is constantly touch other people. When he leans over the console by Sulu and Chekov, he will place a hand on both of their shoulders. Or he will brush shoulders with Uhura whenever she is explaining a language to him. I think that he constantly sits crooked in his chair because both Spock and Bones will stand beside the chair. When they stand there if Jim leans over slightly his shoulder will brush against their hips.

Once Jim, Spock, and Bones all start dating, the two quickly realize what Jim is doing. They both make a point to touch Jim as much as possible. Spock will find (perfectly logical) reasons to get up from his station and talk to the Captain, always having a part of their body’s touching. Bones does the same, whenever there isn’t an emergency, he will go to the bridge and sit on the arm of the Captain’s chair.

Whenever the three are alone, Jim always sits in between the other two men. When they are lying in bed Bones will lay behind Jim, and Spock will tuck Jim under his chin. The two will have their arms stretched across Jim, trapping the younger man between the two.

Jim slowly starts to become less desperate for touch. He still loves to touch people, that’s just part of Jim’s personality, but he isn’t touch-starved any more. Both Spock and Bones always make sure that Jim never craves a gentle touch, that he never goes longer than a hour without one of them touching him. They never want to see that desperate look in Jim’s eyes the one time he had to be in quarantine due to one of his many allergies, and no one could go near him for 72 hours. Jim had been practically shaking by the end of it, and the entire Alpha shift bridge crew (including Bones and Scotty) ended up piled around their Captain in one of the recreational rooms to watch movies.

Soft breaths- Chekov x Reader

Request: Fufil this prompt- “I have been eagerly awaiting the day I could meet you, and I am not disappointed.

A/N: You see, the thing is in Star Trek series post-TOS, like Next Gen (Deep Space Nine doesn’t really count in this case as it’s meant to cater for families-) have kids aboard the ship. But we don’t really see this in the Reboots or TOS so, at one point someone had to successfully raise a kid that would convince Starfleet it was a good idea. Also, @Kirk: we saw that wistful look when you saw Sulu and fam, thought we wouldn’t notice, but we did. Also, let’s be honest, this crew would probably take shifts babysitting.

Also, god I love TOS hijinks. I mean, fucking alien mobsters and Greek gods and aliens that are just dogs with a cone on their heads.


“Captain, this a pretty inopportune time but,” You commed the Bridge, knuckles turning white as you gripped the stainless-steel edge of the laboratory bench. Your breath was sharp now as you felt the cramps start to worsen a little now. In the end, you gave up trying to stand up and slid to a drier part of the floor where you water hadn’t inconveniently broken, “would you mind calling down my dork of a boyfriend?”

“What did Chekov do this time?” Captain Kirk sighed, exasperated. Honestly, you could almost imagine the Captain raising a brow at your adorable boyfriend as he turned in his navigation chair, confused. You hissed a little as your cramps began to increase in frequency now, and you tried counting them.

“You mean apart from get me pregnant?” You laughed. Doctor McCoy, evidently hearing the slight chaos within your laboratory space had entered, wide-eyed and cursing the stars, calling for medics. “Um, it’s a slight emergency…”

“Slight? Oh god…” His voice raised in a slightly more harried pitch, your understatement finally making sense. There was a pregnant (no pun intended) beat of silence before the usually calm bridge erupted into audible chaos, frenzied Russian cursing thrown into the mix. Amusingly, you could distinguish a somewhat panicked Spock attempting to calm down every bridge member; Lieutenant Uhura screaming about how she hadn’t finished putting the hamper together.

“Okay, you’re going to have to remain calm,” Bones warned as he and another nurse (you remembered her name to be along the lines of Janice). “Your water broke early, things could get a little complicated-“

“The baby will be fine, won’t it?” You were breathless, feeling the full force of lengthening contractions, causing you to wince in pain. It was fine, it was honestly fine, you’d been thrown off cliffs as part of the away team before, you could handle this. “Where’s Pav-“

“Your cute boyfriend will be here in about three seconds, nothing to worry about,” Bones brushed you off, and you breathed a little in relief as Pavel, curls in disarray and arms carrying your emergency bag. Janice insisted that Pavel stop fretting and instead, support your weight as you were set down on a medical bed.

What followed next was characterised by unspeakable pain and several death-threats aimed at Pavel. You struggled to push, feeling the searing pain of contractions in your swollen abdomen. It felt as if the room were too bright, everything as if the exposure had been left on for too long as the white light burned your eyes and reflected in the droplets of sweat glistening at your temples. Pavel was the greatest comfort you could have asked for, in between the small panics and the jumble of Russian, you discerned some things- lovely things, thing’s you’ll hold against him probably. But it was the gentleness of his touch, as he brushed away stray locks from your forehead or pressed gentle kisses to the corner of your mouth as you succeeded in yet another round of agonising pushing.

The bright lights and claustrophobic presence all faded away, gently as your vision clouded a little in tired darkness, your breathing slowing down as your ears heard the shrill cry of a newborn. The vision of your son being weighed and washed was accompanied by Pasha’s soothing tones as he whispered in your ear, peppered in between kisses, of your shared future and excitement, of his pride in your strength. It was too good an opportunity not to make a biting witticism, and he choked out a laugh before the green-blue eyes you had so fallen in love with focused upon an identical pair, swaddled in warm blankets.

You’d lost count of how many uncharted planets you had visited, of the unceasing wonder that crept up your spine and tingled your fingers as you encountered yet another species, and undiscovered life. But that was nothing to the intense potential you saw in the small baby in your arms, his tiny nose so identical to his fathers, the barest hint of Pavel’s curls in your hair colour peeking out the edges of the white blanket.

Alexander. The name rolled of your tongues, it would fit him as he got older, you supposed. Thought Pavel had already nicknamed him Leshenka. The cute nickname sounding more melodious and beautiful as the golden seconds passed.

“Pasha? Are you alright?” You turned your attention to the man, teardrops forming at the corners of his eyes as he wiped them away with a smile,

“Y-yes,” Pavel pressed a small kiss to his son’s forehead. Wordlessly, you handed your son to his father, watching on, contented as he rested against his father’s uniform. “I hawe been waiting the day I could meet you, Leshenka.” The baby’s eyes slowly drifted close, tiny breaths escaping his soft lips as colour rose in his adorably chubby cheeks, “and I could newer be disappointer. You are beautiful…”

Tiredness overtook your senses and you gently fell asleep, leaving Pavel to care for his son.

Captain’s log, Stardate… I’ve lost count.

Chekov’s kid won’t stop crying, no one on the Enterprise has slept in about a month. We’ve created shifts for crew to try and bounce and sing the kid to sleep. Alexander Pavlovich Chekov’s (Alex to us, Leshenka to his parents) got nothing of his father’s quiet nature, he seems to take after his mother more. Which is either wonderful, or terrible, but we’ll figure that out once he starts crawling and walking.

We don’t think it’s ethical to have Spock mind-meld the kid to sleep, or pinch his nerve, but we’ve been given the greenlight should we get desperate. My second-in-command also seems to be well-trained in children’s lullabies and is perhaps the most effective at getting him to shut the hell up. I am aware that there are photographs of Commander Spock holding the sleeping baby circulating around both the ship and the academy. Off-record, I whole-heartedly support this.

We’ve also prevented several crew members (that means you granddaddy Scotty and granddaddy Bones) from procuring a pet tribble for the kid. That’s a terrible idea from experience. See my previous log entitled: I fucking hate tribbles, for elaboration. However, I may tolerate an Alfa 177 canine for his birthday. I may or may not have already secured the purchase of one from some Iotian mobsters.

We have learned, however, that Alexander is happiest on the Bridge. I have given explicit permission for Ensign Chekov to bring the kid aboard the Bridge as Ms [l/n]’s position in research poses a health risk to not only the infant, but upon Ms [l/n] as she has chosen to breast-feed.

Mr Scott held a competition within Engineering to see who could develop the best baby-monitor and cradle. He won. But that may be due to command-sponsored sabotage.

It is in my… um… wisdom I suppose that Starfleet cater for growing families upon research ships in the form of crèches or perhaps in the case of the destroyed Vulcan planet: a space station. As tiring of an experience this has been, it has unified the crew in one form or another, all are interested in the well-being of the child. It has also reduced the amount of profanities dropped on all official records (yes, I am referring to Doctor McCoy). Mr Sulu, in particular, has been most helpful in directing the young parents given his extensive experience.

But it is of Mr Sulu’s experience that I need to elaborate upon. Humanity will go to all lengths to protect their children, to ensure they are loved. Having children aboard the Enterprise while yes, risky; would raise not only crew morale, but kick shit up another gear when we encounter trouble. I pity the poor Klingon that attacks our ship now that we have a kid on board. And these children would benefit from an alternate form of education and widen their experiences within our ever-expanding galaxy. Should Starfleet grant the crew’s collective request, we will be stopping by Yorktown (to pick up Mr Sulu’s daughter) and other Federation planets in order to pick up some younger pre-school age children. Hopefully we will be able to establish a form of schooling aboard so that way Sulu’s kid and other won’t have to return to their colonies or planets after a single year on the starship.

Damn it, I’m on nappy duty, I owe Chekov a favour. The kid’s cute and all,  but they’re the biggest pain in the ass I have ever known. I shouldn’t have agreed to be co-godparent with Sulu.

Kirk out.

“Keptin!” Chekov had finally entered the Bridge, looking a little more tired than usual; his curls a mess and bags under his eyes. Kirk smiled at the sight of a small bundle placed in a make-shift sling against the navigator’s yellow shirt. Chekov pointed to the small bundle before taking his usual seat beside Sulu, babbling excitedly about his small son. Little Alexei seemed to possess his father’s cherubic curls, gently resting atop his forehead.

Kirk was incredibly aware that they were about to hail Starfleet for final judgement as to whether or not Ms [l/n] or Mr Chekov should be asked to temporarily relieve their positions-

But little Alexander was awake now, minute fingers reaching out for his father’s face with an expectant giggle. Chekov’s tired face lit up with a brilliant smile, murmuring Russian endearments to Leshenka and encouraging him further.

Kirk had yet to learn how to block out the ‘awwws’.

To be fair though, he joined them as the baby’s pudgy fingers made contact with his father’s proud face.

But Uhura’s warnings of Starfleet hailing them snapped him out of his temporary state of ‘fluffiness’ as Bones would put it. Kirk stopped for a moment, unsure of whether they should go through with the meeting. Likelihood would be that Ms [l/n] would be relieved of her position for at least two years, but it hardly seemed fair to the pair of them. It hardly seemed fair to others like Sulu, who had families in Yorktown or Earth or other planets.

“Keptin wait, I hawe a leetle surprise,” Chekov carefully un-bundled his small son to reveal a miniaturised Starfleet outfit, matching his father’s blue-and-yellow dress uniform.

If it was possible, the coos and awws only got louder. Even Spock quirked the corners of his lips in amusement as Uhura broke her usually composed façade, pointing out that it was her romper that she had made and announced that she had also created a miniature yellow uniform. She made notes of the crew members who wished to order some. Kirk decided that such activities could be considered a hobby and therefore any income did not require tax deduction.

Negotiation tactics? He’d developed several of them in these last three years, most proved to be successful. But manipulating Star fleet through use of adorable babies?

Absolutely genius. It should be taught at the Academy.

There’s a Mouse in the House!

-The mouse originates from Tim’s room when he cleans up from his sleepless night activities(the TV goes on and off, endless array of snacks galore, so many empty bottles, etc.)

-The mouse is kinda cute, so Tim decides it’s not hurting anyone by camping out in his room.

-But where one mouse goes, others will follow.

-He didn’t realize the extent of the population of mice and genuinely thought there were only two, so he kept feeding them and cleaned up after them.

-Until he went on his class trip, which was an entire week long.

-Which meant he had quite a few other things on his mind than his pets, so he left without leaving any food at all for them.

-It only took two days for the brave ones to come out of hiding.

-Cass was the first to find one as it scurried across the kitchen’s island, where she sat eating her cereal. It didn’t get far before her hand slammed into it’s back, ending the mouse.

-Alfred watched on in horror, always priding himself of being able to say that the house never experienced one rodent within it.

-As Alfred was alerting Bruce of the situation, and explain he had no idea where they may have entered, a disheveled Jason grumpily entered the room and demanded that “Whatever damn invention Drake has in his room that’s squeaking all damn day and all damn night needs to be shut the hell off!”

-Bruce and Alfred gave each other a knowing look and Jason became more irritated, thinking none of them believed him.

-Before even answering Jason they called everyone that was there into the room and explained the problem.

-Damian was in an uproar, convinced Tim was using them for some twisted science experiment.

-Stephanie was outraged at how disgusting Tim kept his room that now it attracted mice.

-Jason was pissed off because he couldn’t sleep.

-Dick came up with some hair-brained idea that Tim was using them to fulfill a sick and twisted sexual fantasy.

-Barbra, who visited the next day, suddenly declared she “had plans” that she forgot about.

-Cass was the only one who was indifferent to the situation.

-After finding out what the problem was, Jason turned on his heels and grabbed a baseball bat while Damian charged after him, yelling obscene threats if Jason slaughtered the mice.

-Each and every one of them completely underestimated the problem and when Jason opened the door with Damian beside him, both their mouth hung open.

-They shut the door before any could get out and looked at each other.

-After everyone else assessed the situation they all decided, even Damian, that it was just illogical to try and set traps or try and capture them a humane way.

-Calling an exterminator was completely out, and Alfred made that clear, he might not be able to boast to the family that the house is rodent free, but he made damn sure he’d be able to boast to other butlers or guests in the future.

-For three whole days they took turns going into Tim’s bedroom in shifts, the first crew would kill as many as they could, the second would clean up those carcasses and so forth.

-On occasion, the person made to watch and guard the door would have to scramble after a loose mouse.

-Needless to say, all of them had quite strong words to say about Tim and multiple times they told Bruce he should just not pick Tim up when he was supposed to. And Bruce considered it for a while.

-When told his little friends had been found, Tim smiled and shrugged, “They’re harmless though!”

-Thankfully Damian kept all the bodies, even went to the trouble of lining all the over-100 mice up out side while he dug their mass grave.

-Tim was slightly surprised when he saw all of them to say the least and it took almost two whole months for his sibling’s(and his butler’s) anger to die down.

Advice to First-time Line-cooks:
  • Expect to learn a lot. Whether it’s how to do something, or how not to do it. Every person you meet knows something you don’t. 
  • Have low exception, and be completely amazed. 
  • You will work when others play. When others work (or sleep), so you shall play. 
  • Be clean, be organized, be safe.
  • “Yes, Chef.” “What’s next?” “Behind you.” “Sharp.” etc.
  • Don’t complain.
  • Hard work pays off.
  • Always have a sani-bucket at your station.
  • Have a side towel ready. Hide three more.
  • Always, always, ALWAYS ask permission to use someone’s knife.
  • Familiarize yourself with your station.
  • Start learning the next station.
  • Never loose your cool on the line.
  • Go yell in the walk-in if you must.
  • Invest in good shoes: Mozos for flat feet and Danskos for arched feet.
  • Then go out and buy insoles. And Aleve.
  • 2 black click-y pens, 1 black click-y Sharpie, 1 small notebook.
  • Keep an extra pair of pants and a backup coat in your bag.
  • Bring street clothes to change into after shift when the crew goes out for beers.
  • Beers after a shift are important bonding ritual. It makes the crew stronger. 
  • It’s polite to buy at least one round.
  • But don’t go overboard. You gotta work Brunch tomorrow. 
  • Shut the fuck up and cook.
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Here’s to the night shift crew! We ❤ you! #coffeeislife #nightshift #staystrong #snarkynurses

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Animal Instincts - Part 2

Fandom: The Flash

Series: Part 1 / Part 2

Summary: Ava still struggles with how she is going to tell Barry she can communicate with animals and begins to have some suspicions with his new connection to Star Labs.

Warnings: There aren’t any in this part, but as I get further into the plot, I am going to start tagging anything with potential animal abuse. It will mostly be mentioned or anything that happens will be stated after the fact, but Ava does work at a rescue sanctuary. It’s a part of the job. I myself am a volunteer trainer at an equine rescue/training facility, so I hear a lot of abuse and neglect cases and deal with the ramifications of it nearly everyday. This is what Ava will deal with as well.

I just wanted to let you all know what will be going down in future parts of this series. If you have any questions on it or what I do, feel free to use the ask box or message me.

Originally posted by pommestudio

           Ava sat in the outdoor patio of Jitters, smiling at the flock of sparrows chittering in the tree next to her. As soon as they realized she could understand them, they immediately began barraging her with news of nestlings, mates, where the best food was, and general gossip of competing flocks in the park. Ava listened as she idly doodled in the notebook in front of her and sipped her coffee. A few of the more trusting sparrows fluttered down on the table, looking for a treat from her half-finished orange-glazed muffin.

           “Now listen, bread is terrible for you and your young,” Ava murmured, both out loud and through her connection. Reaching into her backpack, she pulled out a small bag of birdseed. Opening it, she poured a small pile onto the other side of the notebook. “Eat this. It’s better and tastier than any scraps you’ll pick up around here.”

           “Careful, sis. You keep that up, people will think those birds actually understand you,” Barry joked as he walked up. One of the females, the flock leader Ava had named Crown because of a crown-like marking on her head, whistled angrily at the rude male. Ava hid her wince and managed to smile up at her older brother.

           “They just like that I occasionally have birdseed with me. It’s better than bread scraps.” She smiled more genuinely when he leaned down and kissed her head. She noticed Cisco was standing behind her brother, both with coffees in their hands. “Hey Cisco.”

           “Hey Ava. How did we pass by without noticing you?” Ava shrugged.

           “This table is tucked away more. I like it cause its quieter than inside.”

           “Can’t argue with that. Wish we could hang out a bit more, but Dr. Wells is waiting for us back at the lab, Barry,” Cisco reminded. Barry nodded and hugged Ava again.

           “Everything okay? You’ve been hanging around the labs a lot since you woke up,” she asked, idly sipping her coffee. The question may have been innocent, but Barry wasn’t fooled; Ava was tenacious when it came to mysteries and secrets. On the rare occasion he was hiding something from her, she had a way of wheedling it out of him. Fortunately, he also had experience in dodging her, at least for a while. He reached to grab a piece of her muffin.

          “No more than you hanging around the sanctuary until after dark,” he fired back. She moved to smack his hand away, but he had already grabbed a small chunk. “Missed me,” he taunted around the bite. “Dr. Wells is letting me help with some of the projects in my spare time.”

          “Maybe on a day off you could come by and check it out?” Cisco asked.

           “Maybe. With the sanctuary running on skeleton crew, I’m on call more often.” It was a half-truth; Diane and Mark did let her pick up more shifts, but the crew was hardly a skeleton anymore. Cisco shrugged.

           “Whenever you get the chance. Caitlyn’s been asking about you too,” Barry answered. He kissed her head again. “We gotta go. Love you.”

           “Love you too.” She called out as the boys walked out of the patio. She leaned back in her seat, staring at her muffin. She suddenly didn’t have an appetite for the rest of her muffin. Instead, her thoughts were consumed by the conversation that just took place.

           Your flock mate wasn’t truthful, Crown peeped, hopping towards her hand. Is that normal for your flock mate?

           No more than me doing the same, Crown, Ava replied. “But it’s still odd.”

           “What’s odd?” For the second time that morning, Ava was startled by one of her siblings. This time, it was Iris who was sitting down in the empty seat. “And aren’t you jumpy?” Ava chuckled.

           “Just talking with Crown here.” She giggled when the bold sparrow hopped towards Iris’ bag. “She wants to know if you have that granola you usually have with you?”

           “You spoil them, Ava,” Iris chastised in her best “big sister” voice. Regardless, she had reached into her bag and pulled out the bag of granola trail mix, adding a small handful to what was left of the birdseed.

           “Yeah, Barry said something similar,” Ava muttered. Iris’ calm demeanor never changed, though Ava still caught her shifting slightly closer. “He and Cisco apparently spotted me on the way out. He said I needed to be careful or else people will think they understand.” She gestured towards Crown and couple sparrows who were pecking at the new treat.

           “You do need to be careful,” Iris agreed. “You have a bad habit of speaking out loud what you can tell them telepathically.”

           “But Barry doesn’t know that!” Ava slouched in the chair with a slight pout. Iris ignored it.  

           “Even more reason. I think you should work on that more than the shared mind thing. Where was Barry going today?”

           “Star Labs.” Ava stared at her muffin and the missing chunk Barry took. That was a pretty quick snatch ‘n grab. Usually, I can graze his hand. “Hey Iris?” Iris looked up from checking her email. “You get the feeling Barry is hiding something?”

           “Sometimes, yeah. Why?”

           “I don’t know. He’s been going to Star Labs a lot in his spare time. Something about helping with projects.” After a thoughtful moment, Iris shook her head.

           “Listen, we are all still adjusting to what happened and Barry realizes you’ve pulled back a bit. He’s just giving you space until you want to tell him about your ability. You did the same thing after you came to live with us.” Ava nodded, remembering that terrible year.

           “Yeah, probably. I still don’t know how I’m going to break it to them.”

           “Well you better figure it out, girl, before one of them interrupts one of those conversations you have with the tigers or they see you mind-meld with Regan.”

           “Nah, we set him free a couple days ago. I think he went off to Star City. Speaking of which, I saw you wrote that PSA about dogs going missing from yards. Any more information on that?” Iris shook her head.

           “No. Eddie mentioned he might’ve had a lead or two, but nothing substantial.” Ava hummed softly.

           “Diane’s talked about it too. She thinks there may be a dog fighting ring trying to get started and people are kidnapping potential bait dogs.” The thought of what that meant for those family pets hurt Ava deeply. Sensing her depression, Crown fluttered up onto Ava’s shoulder and began preening her red hair soothingly, peeping softly. She raised a finger and stroked the little sparrow’s head gratefully. “Mark was talking about knowing a couple guys who might have intel on that. Maybe Eddie could talk to them?”

           “I’ll tell him. Since we both have the day off, how about we go do some shopping? I feel like treating my little sister to a girl’s day.” Iris smiled as Ava grinned. She knew some well spent sister time would distract Ava from her current problems.

           “I’ve got no plans. Let me take this plate to Dani and I’ll meet you up front.” Iris nodded and left. Putting the napkin with the birdseed and granola near the bushes, Ava reached for the half-eaten muffin. Just as she was about to grab it, a spark of electricity jolted her. Yelping, she snatched her hand back, cradling it against her chest. The hair on her arm and neck stood on end as a prickly feeling raced up her arm and down her spine. Looking, she could already a small welt forming on her palm. Had she really gotten a first degree burn from static? Near the spot where Barry had grabbed a piece?

           Weird…

           You okay? Crown was still on her shoulder and had seen the whole thing. I felt that all the way up here!

          I’m fine. Go eat the rest of the seed. Tell your flock I’ll come back Tuesday before work. Crown chirped, preened a strand of blue-tipped red hair, and flew off her shoulder. Ava hardly noticed, still staring at the spot. Hesitantly, she reached for her food but nothing else happened. She’d have to puzzle it out later; Iris was waiting and her palm was burning. Hopefully Dani had some burn cream in the first aid kit, otherwise, the first stop on the shopping trip would have be CVS.

the signs as things my Whitewolf tabletop group has said

aries: “your attempt to disarm the stripper has failed so hard you cut off your own thumb. congratulations.”

taurus: “I vote that we all go home and pretend this never happened.”

gemini: “if you loot my dead body and steal my cookies we’re not friends anymore.”

cancer: “listen, I’m just here to sell weed. I’m not having any of these magical shenanigans.”

leo: “it’s not that I don’t love being the center of attention, I do, but can’t someone else be the distraction for once?”

virgo: “nope. sorry. I have a strict policy against putting dead sex workers in the trunk of my car.”

libra: “welp, that sure was a haunted hotel. anyone else fancy a smoke?”

scorpio: “I’m running…ah… fast enough to get a speeding ticket in this neighborhood, apparently.”

sagittarius: (spooky ghost voice)“tooouuuch the buuutttttt!”

capricorn: “I’m so glad I spent character points on ‘common sense’ so I could walk willingly to my death in a nazi vampire torture basement.”

aquarius: “you know what’s fun? not being in a sewer.”

pisces: “ok but what would I need to roll to seduce the eldrich abomination?”

// oh goodness, I’ve neglected this blog– do forgive me! I’ve been busy trying to get my new multi-muse set up, as well as been giving Robin some love again, and I also have a job now! I’ll try to be on tonight after work (I work 10-6 today, US Central Time Zone) I promise! because as soon as I logged into this blog the Cuddle Crew just shot to life oh man.

Headcanon Wednesday: Quarian Dating

For acequeenking, who asked for quarian romance/dating/marriage. I had only got as far as romance/dating when I was already over 1500 words, so marriage will have to wait in the interest of not spamming everyone forever.

(As a reminder, feel free to drop me headcanon prompts if you’re interested–I love getting them and am generally delighted to fill them.)

The question of “how do quarians date?” is very much like the question “how do hedgehogs have sex?” The answer: very carefully.

Most aliens assume that the reason for this “very carefully” is the delicate quarian immune system, which makes suitless sex quite dangerous, but that isn’t actually the case. Quarians have figured out any number of workarounds for that–mostly involving the multiperson functionality of the Nerve Stim programming–and the inability to take their suits off regularly for sex doesn’t cause them many problems.

No, the real reason that quarians have to be very careful in their romantic relationships is more social than physical. Quarians live their entire lives in close quarters with one another, and most Flotilla ships are not large. The Flotilla has fifty thousand ships, and seventeen million members–for an average of 340 quarians per ship–but once you factor out the larger-than-average capacities of the liveships and frigates, the average is even lower. Under normal circumstances, a quarian will live their entire adult life on the same ship. In addition, even on larger ships, quarians are generally grouped into smaller clusters who are quartered near where they work–even the enormous liveships do not have the infrastructure to move large numbers of quarians around on a regular basis, so it makes sense to have them live and work in the same area. The end result is that most quarians spend essentially all their time with the same smallish group of people their entire lives. 

Which means that if you have a disastrous breakup, “I never want to see him/her again” is about as likely as “I would like to sprout wings and fly to Tuchanka.” It’s sort of like living in the same dormitory in college, but for the rest of your life. So quarians have to find ways to ensure that they do not leave a string of hideously awkward encounters and/or terrible breakups behind them.

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plots i want:

  • the inevitable   ‘you have a child?  discussion.
  • mccoy getting irrationally upset at someone being unpleasant to spock.  mccoy socking them in the jaw.  mccoy turning himself in to jim immediately with a sarcastic recount of the entire scenario.
  • crash-landed on some shitty, unexplored planet. beautiful scenery.  lovely flowers.  mccoy:  ‘sure, that’s a lovely flower, but my leg’s broken in three places.  we are going to die here.’
  • mccoy on an away mission / in the field, shooting an enemy with a phaser set to kill instead of stun.  mccoy dealing with taking a life instead of saving one. 
  • after-shift drinks with the crew !  mccoy is   hammered.   completely wasted.  
J is for Jet Lag (10/26)

Fandom: Star Trek (AOS/TOS)
Pairing: 
 ReaderXBones
Prompt: Fic 10 of 26 in the CMO’s Log – A to Z series.  Click here for a listing of all the fics in this series!  J is for Jet Lag.
Word Count:
1901
Warnings: Moderate injury (somewhat graphic).
Rating: Teen+.
Author’s Note: I know this isn’t technically “jet” lag because it’s not induced by travel, but it’s the same principle so I’m going with it! As for the chemistry in this, I’ve never injured myself with an acid (save for a minor nitric acid burn once), but I’ve experienced nitrile degradation and it’s pretty gross.

J is for Jet Lag

You’ve been on the alpha shift for as long as you’ve been on the Enterprise, and so, when you get the message that staffing changes are coming in the wake of the Enterprise’s destruction and rebuilding after the whole situation with Krall, you’re a little bit nervous about the pending changes.

Now, on the third beta shift of your rotation, the change is really catching up with you.  You haven’t quite managed to turn your sleep-wake cycle around yet, and the ship’s perpetually active bright, white lights are wreaking havoc on your body.  Your eyes are stinging from the illumination and a headache is pounding in your temples, but you push through the physical discomfort, bypassing it in favor of the emotional turmoil haunting your thoughts.

You’ve never been good at being a civil person when you’re exhausted, and now is no exception.  You’ve sealed yourself off in your lab and you’re working on recrystallizing some newly discovered acids you had isolated from samples the crew of the last away mission had returned.  Thankfully it’s a lonely job and so you have plenty of time to lament your situation and doze off here and there.

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