self care is travelling back in time and founding the pre raphaelites, with yourself, lizzie siddal and millais as the key members; living together in a stately home, making beautiful art, wearing velvet and becoming victorian celebs
“If it were up to me,” the hero said, their fingers closing around the villain’s wrists, “I’d kill you now. Oh, I’m not actually going to, of course. I like to think I still have some sort of moral compass left, even after everything that’s happened. Even after everything I’ve done. Everything you’ve made me do.” Without quite meaning to, they tightened their grip. It felt as though something was bubbling up from deep inside them, something dark and rotten and long-hidden that wanted to get out. “But if I didn’t…oh, the things I could do to you. I could break your bones one by one. Start with your fingers, and see how long it took you to start screaming. Isn’t that what you did to that nice young man who tried to double-cross you?” The villain didn’t respond. “Of course, if that doesn’t appeal to your delicate sensibilities, I could just string you up instead. Hang you by your wrists like a piece of meat. Or I could - ” They broke off. “Wait a minute. Are you getting off on this?”
“No,” said the villain, unconvincingly.
“What,” said the hero, “are you doing in my house? And in my dressing gown?”
“Making you breakfast!” The villain brandished a spitting frying pan as evidence. “I couldn’t help noticing last week that you’re just not filling out that super-suit of yours like you used to. You need feeding up, otherwise our battles are going to get terribly one-sided. I’ve done you some bacon, see?”
The hero sniffed. The bacon reeked of bitter almonds, with a faint trace of lemon underneath - presumably an attempt to cover up the smell of the poison, which they judged was probably enough to kill an elephant. Several elephants. “You do know I’ve been trained to recognise the smell of cyanide from a distance of five feet or less?” they said. “Here’s a tip: try using something odourless next time.”
The villain looked downcast. “I was only trying to be nice.”
“And murder me,” the hero pointed out.
“Well - yes, but in a nice way.”
“How did you even find out where I live?”
The villain finished securing the cable ties around the hero’s ankles. “Oh, I hacked into those security cameras you installed to keep away intruders. Ironic, really. Sorry - are these too tight?”
“No, they’re - wait, you hacked into my cameras?”
“Well, yes,” the villain said, as though it were obvious. “The encryption on them was terrible, and I was curious. By the way, I’m glad to see that what they say about men with big feet is true.”
The hero covered his face with his hands.
The hero slammed the villain up against the wall rather harder than was necessary, relishing the choked-off sound they made as their back hit the metal. They tightened their arm so that the muscles bulged, cutting off the villain’s air supply, and snarled directly into their ear, “I know what you did.”
The villain made a desperate hand gesture that could reasonably have been interpreted as What are you talking about? The hero relaxed their grip slightly, finally allowing their enemy to breathe - albeit only in shallow, retching gasps. “I know what you did,” they said again. “You turned those innocent people into mincemeat over a fucking business transaction. I already knew you were scum, but this is a new low.”
“Wasn’t me,” the villain said, their voice rough around the edges.
The hero laughed, short and sharp. “You expect me to believe that?”
“Well, exacting bloody and disproportionate retribution for imagined slights is one of my favourite pastimes,” the villain said, and gasped as the hero’s arm tightened around their neck again. “No, wait! Wait. Listen. I’m not guilty this time, honestly. Hand on my cold black heart. Half of those people were in my employ, what would I gain by getting rid of them?”
“Prove it,” the hero hissed.
“Let me down, and I will,” the villain said, coaxingly.
The hero hesitated, their grip just loose enough to pin the villain in place. For a second, their eyes locked, and the hero thought - or imagined - that they saw a hint of sincerity somewhere in there.
I’m going to regret this, they thought grimly - and lowered their arm.
“Oh, please,” the villain sneered. “You’re not going to kill me, you’re too - ”
Without even bothering to look, the hero fired. Blood sprayed outwards in a semicircle, spattering the wall behind where the villain’s head had been. Their body swayed, then toppled gently to one side, collapsing on to the floor as though all the air had been let out of it (which, in a way, it had). The hero turned and stared at the mess.
“Well, that was a lot easier than I was expecting,” they said.
@loveluhan07 request: “
Can I request a Luhan smut when he dry humps you in a public train? Btw I love your blog, keep going ❤”
It’s still early in the morning. The cold air of spring is felt mostly on the train perron, where you are in the queue at the patisserie, waiting for your pretzel. Your cheeks are rosy because of the cool breezes that envelop the surrounding mountains and the whole perron. Your boyfriend is right behind you, taking care of your suitcases.
‘Do you want something? I’ll take a pretzel.’
'No, it’s okay.’ He murmurs with his throaty voice, a specific morning one. A wide smile appears on your pink lips when you see his sleepy eyes.
'Yeah, I think it’s still too early for you.’
'Maybe because someone is talking in the sleep and I couldn’t sleep very well, you know…’
'Why suddenly so rebellious?’ You chuckle and he wraps his hands around your waist, pulling you into him.
'Because once we’ll arrive, I can’t be rebellious anymore.’
When he heard you singing, he was quick to get his phone to record some of it. You finished singing and put the baby in her crib, unaware that you were being watched.
Later on, when you went to bed, you heard a familiar sound coming from Minseok’s phone.
“Is that…?” You hopped into bed and peeked over his shoulder to find the video he’d taken earlier. “You recorded that? I didn’t even hear you!“
“I wanted to save it forever,” Minseok said, pulling you closer and putting his phone on the nightstand. Just as he was about to pull back the covers, the baby began crying again in the next room.
You sighed, but he grinned. “Now I can get another live show.”
This was the highlight of his week. Maybe his year. He didn’t know whether to keep out of the nursery or approach you and be part of the moment, maybe join in.
Ultimately he decided to watch for a bit, then joined in, which made you stop. You’d always told him his voice was just right for singing to your little one, but Junmyeon frowned when you stopped. You started again quietly and he harmonized with you.
“Why don’t you sing more often?” he asked once you’d left the baby to sleep.
“I don’t know… I only do it for the baby.” You were usually shy about singing, but saw it as a necessity for parenting.
“You know I love your voice… Next date night is at the norebang!” he declared, and you reluctantly agreed, only since you knew it’d make him happy.
Yixing burst into tears outside of the room when he heard you singing one of his melodies to the baby. The sudden outcry startled you, which startled the baby, and then there were two crying boys in the house!
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Baobei, shh, shh,” he said quietly, taking the baby from your arms. He continued where you had left off, sniffling, tears still sliding down his cheeks. The sight made you want to cry as well, but you held back and listened as Yixing’s soothing voice calmed your son.
When the baby was finally asleep in the crib, Yixing wiped his face, turned on the baby monitor, and led you out of the nursery. All he wanted to do now was hold you and tell you how happy you had made him, not just at that moment, but overall in his life.
Fourteen repeats later, you finally got the baby to calm down and fall asleep.
“Why don’t you ever sing for me like that?” Baekhyun asked, not trying to hide that he’d been listening to you. You hadn’t noticed him standing in the doorway.
“Because you’re not a baby, and I don’t have that kind of energy, Baek.”
“Waaaaaa!” he faux-cried.
“Shh, shh, you’re going to wake her!”
“Sing more, then I’ll be quiet! Waaaaaa!”
You shook your head and quickly began singing one of the lullabies, pushing him away from the nursery so he wouldn’t cause the baby to wake up.
For the one song you sang to him, he massaged your back, your hands, and your feet, admitting that your voice had calmed his nerves after a stressful day, and he had really needed it.
He kissed your cheek. “Thank you, my love~”
As you rocked your daughter and sang a lullaby, she began to close her eyes. From the other side of the closed door, you heard a second voice chime in. You and Jongdae had agreed that he sounded better at full volume, but it was too loud for the baby, so he would join in sometimes from the hallway.
Once she had fallen asleep, you exited the room and found yourself in Jongdae’s arms being bombarded with kisses all over your face.
You laughed quietly to yourself and then and heard him sing,
“Every day I’m so lucky 숨겨왔던 내 맘을 고백 할래 너를 사랑해 ~”
You loved that song and pressed him to sing more downstairs, away from the nursery so he could sing with his whole heart.
The baby just wouldn’t fall asleep, no matter how much you rocked, so you had finally resorted to singing an old folk song from your own childhood. It seemed to be working, so you continued.
You were surprised when you heard a quiet strumming behind you and Chanyeol came into the room holding one of his guitars. He smiled as you continued to sing and matched chords with the song. This worked like a charm, and your baby boy was fast asleep within minutes.
“I can’t believe how well that worked… I wonder if it’ll work every time!”
“We should form a band!” Chanyeol suggested with a laugh. “And we only give V.I.P. performances to our little guy.”
You laughed and agreed you’d call yourselves the Lullaby Duo until Chanyeol came up with a cooler name.
“Kyungsoo? Were you listening to me? Do you always do this?”
“…It’s not the first time,” was all he said back to you.
This wasn’t the first time he’d listened to you singing to your baby. Every time he heard you from the baby monitor, he would drop whatever he was doing to listen to you sing. This was just the first time you’d caught him doing it.
“Well, I have a confession too,” you said. “I do the same thing to you! Only it makes sense for me, because your voice sounds like it was imported directly from heaven’s top shelf.”
He smiled sheepishly.
“Seriously, Soo. I don’t know why you don’t do 100% of the lullaby singing.”
“Because I want to hear you sometimes,” he said, beckoning you to sit on the couch next to him, where you cuddled until the baby needed your attention again.
“…How about we sing together?” Kyungsoo suggested shyly.
You nodded and walked to the nursery hand in hand with him.
“Waa…” you heard behind you when you had finished singing and were about to put your daughter in her crib. You turned around and found Jongin in his bathrobe, hair wet, a big grin on his face.
“Waa…” he said again, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe what he’d just seen.
“It was just a lullaby,” you said.
“It wasn’t though. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard! I’m glad I didn’t take a long shower so I could hear.”
“More beautiful than Kyungsoo’s voice?” you challenged with a laugh.
It took him a moment to decide, but eventually he admitted that it was different with Kyungsoo’s voice, which was usually meant for a crowd, and he liked that yours was just for him and your daughter.
“I love you so much, Jagi! Will you sing for me now?”
He was such a distraction! You were trying to get your twins to sleep quickly, but there was Sehun, standing in the doorway, waving his arms in time with the lullaby like he was at a concert. It was making you laugh, which would mean it would take a longer time for the babies to fall asleep.
“How do you have so much energy?” you asked him, nearly giving up on rocking them to sleep. You were more exhausted than you’d ever been trying to take care of the two little ones.
“We can do it, Jagi!” he cheered in a whisper before taking one of the twins from your arms and rocking her while you continued to sing.
In a few minutes, they were both asleep, and in a few more minutes, you were on the couch in Sehun’s lap, also falling asleep while he rubbed your side.