Q: My Parents Are Non-Muslim. Is It Good For Me To Stay With Them?
4 Jamadial Ahir 1438 March 3, 2017
It is very good to stay with your parents. You should stay with your parents. They have rights over you. You’re a Muslim, they are Non-Muslim, there’s a bigger reason for you to stay, because with Allah’s help maybe through you they are going to understand something from Islam, and they are going to accept.
Now, your parents are giving you a very hard time. Be patient with them. They are being a tyrant on you. They’re beating you up, they’re starving you, do you have another place to stay? No. Then you are obligated. You’re able to be independent, because they are being tyrant to you because of your religion, then emigrate. Make the Hijrah. But make the Hijrah not because you hate them, don’t make the Hijrah because you hate them and you want to leave them; make the Hijrah, make the emigration in order to practice your faith. Still, keep contact with them. Don’t burn all your bridges, because who knows, one day, they may accept.
Don’t fight with them. Don’t argue with them. I see the trend sometimes, so many times, people they just accept Islam, and sometimes through the Wahhabi way, they come back home, parents are okay. They are not tyrants, they are not anything, then they start preaching to them and condemning them to hell. You should not, because if you were non-Muslim, and you become a Muslim, they are your responsibility. Allah will question you: “Did you try to bring them the message of Islam in the best way that is possible?” That answer must be, “yes.” That is our responsibility.
Insha'Allah may Allah make it easy for you.
-Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz.
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs), OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York 4 Jamadial Ahir 1438 March 3, 2017
Q: What Is The Difference Between A Believer And A Friend Of Allah?
So you ask a question, what is the difference between a believer and a friend of Allah? A believer believes, a friend of Allah witnesses. He witness. Every friend of Allah is a believer, of course, but then he starts to witness. That is the difference. When you start to witness, when they start to witness, it’s not us, it’s not you or me, when they start to witness, what do they witness? What are we supposed to witness? What are we supposed to witness? Allah. What are we supposed to witness? The Prophet (asws). What are we supposed to witness? The blessings of Namaz, Sawm Ramazan, Zakat, Hajj Baitul Haqq. What are we supposed to witness after we believe Amantu billahi wa mala’ikatihi wa kutubihi wa rusulihi wa al-yaum al-akhiri wa al-qadri khayrihi…. So, you start witnessing. But don’t think it is witnessing the way that you think it is. There are so many different ways of witnessing. And once you witness, it must give you something. Once you witness, there is a responsibility. It’s not just the power of witnessing; what are you going to do now with that power? And that is something, that is a heavy responsibility because now, if you did not witness, if there is a veil between you and that reality, you are still safe to commit things whether knowingly or unknowingly, because you are not in that area where you are going to be responsible. But once that veil is lifted from you, you are going to be responsible and you have to answer. You cannot blame anyone. You have to answer.
That kind of training, where you have to answer, you have to be responsible, you have to be accountable, that nothing no small or big thing that you can escape from, that kind of training is only available here alhamdulillah, from our Sheykh. Others, they may say, ‘don’t worry about yesterday, don’t worry about tomorrow. Today is passing…’ Some they say, ‘don’t worry, laugh, laugh, dance!’ Some they say, ‘oh, don’t worry, everyone has to unite.’ SubhanAllah. If you look, majority of the scholars and majority of the ‘other ones’,imams and leaders, they all say, ‘don’t worry,’ they all say, ‘it’s filled with love,’ they all say, ‘everything is happy,’ and I’m saying, are you kidding me? The way that you say, ‘everything is filled with love’ and ‘don’t worry’ and, the way you’re describing it, then we must live in Paradise. But we are living in Hell! We turned this world into a hell. We must worry. We must worry.
They are saying, ‘the friends of Allah they don’t grieve and they don’t worry.’ That Ayat is saying, ‘they don’t grieve and they don’t worry.’ What do you think that Ayat is saying? They don’t grieve and they don’t worry about Allah? They don’t grieve and they don’t worry about this dunya. Anything that Allah gives them, they don’t grieve and they don’t worry. Because they are pleased with their Lord and their Lord is pleased with them. And anything that comes to them, they are pleased with it. They don’t grieve and they don’t worry. But like the Prophets, they always grieve and they always worry about the ummat.Can we say the Holy Prophet (asws) never worries about His ummat? Can we say that? If you say that, you might lose your faith. He is always grieving and worrying. The ayat is saying, the ayat of Laqad Jaakum, he is Rauf and he is Rahim and he is always constantly worrying. His worry and care for us, for this ummat, is more than a mother has to her newborn baby. Those who are following his footsteps, they always worry. So there are signs now. That is the difference. Because once you witness, then you are going to say, ‘ahh, how am I able to do this?’ Once you witness, you are going to say, ‘ahh, how are they going to do this?’ Don’t we see this every time the Prophet were given something? Don’t we see this every time in every story?
Our aim is to be servant. To serve those ones that Allah swt loves and to serve the creation in whatever capacity that we can. That is our aim. Our aim is not to become Evliya. Those who aims to become Evliya, ego is already involve anyway. Those who say, ‘I’m nothing.’ You were speaking from your ego. How can nothing speaks? Nothing cannot speak. Nothing is nothing. Nothing is zip. So you are something, at least say something.
Claiming, everyone is claiming these days so many things. But when we look, we don’t see it. We don’t claim anything. We are following our Sheykh. That is enough for us. Are we successfully being in his way? We are trying our best. And the way that he trains us, the best is never good enough. But we are happy with that. Because that means that we are always running to please him, to please the Prophet and to please Allah swt and Allah is giving an open ayat, ‘Run. For the sake of Allah, run and compete.’ Because every time we run, every time we say, ‘no it’s not good enough. We must do better, we must do better.’ Our derajat, our station, is raised higher because our sins start falling away. There’s more forgiveness that comes. We are not saying we did it, we did something. May we always be with the friends of Allah and be in their way. This much is enough, insha’Allah ar-Rahman. wamin Allah Taufiq, al-Fatiha.
The person who comes to a Shaykh, he comes with his own intelligence, with his own mind. He has already reached to certain stations, he already knows certain secrets of this world, but he cannot figure out certain things, so he comes to a Shaykh.
So he sits in the association of the Shaykh, and he listened. He has the right to accept or not accept. He doesn’t have the right to fight about it. But he has the right to question. Until he realized, “that is a master. That is my guide. I can trust that one.”
When you trust that one, you go and said, “I am submitting, initiating to you.” Meaning, I’m accepting what you are going to tell me, what I have to do. So that time, the Sheykh looks at you, he sees, ok the world or the benefit of this world, or the worldly matter that has been holding you from one angle.
Someone once stood up, he looked at Isa (a.s), he loved him, he loved his companion and he said to Isa (a.s), “what should I do, to enter to Paradise?” Isa looked at him, he saw clearly the matter right away, what he love and said to him, “for you to enter into the Paradise, go get everything that you own, take all that money, go and distribute it to the poor people. Then come back and follow me. Live like me.”
He said, “You mean all my wealth? All my wealth that belongs to me from my father, from my forefathers, set it to give to the strangers I don’t know? ”
“Did you ask me the entrance to Paradise? For you, that is what it is, because you want Paradise from one side, but you don’t want to give up from this world.”
So when Isa (a.s) looked at him, he saw that he was in love with this world. So he hit him from that angle saying, “first, get rid of that love.”
When you get rid of that (worldly) love from your heart, you find space to put other love, you find space to put really your Lord’s love in it. Otherwise when that love is occupying your heart, you will not be able to find space to put that, then you are not going to be successful in that work that you are doing.
To be a murid, you need to have Adab, you need to have manners. Everything starts opening to a man who has manners. The more opens to him the more obedient he becomes to his Sheykh then. He can see the paradises, he can enter and come back, but he will never leave his Sheykh then because what he is looking for is not even in Paradise. It is in his Sheykh’s hand and nobody else carries that.
Teaching of Grandsheykh Mawlana Abdullah ED-Dagistani EN-Naqshbandi Hz.
You must give yourself to the hands of a guide, surrender, or else no benefit can you take. A guide is one who knows your destination. He is an open-eyed person. A blind man can’t guide, he is in need for one. In our days very few persons are accepting a guide for themselves, everyone is so proud, saying, «I am clever, I know better.» They may know this world’s knowledge, but this guidance is not such that you can read in books and follow. You only know it with a murshid. You must have a guide; only pride is keeping people away. There is no reaching the Divine Presence without a real guide.
Whoever is asking improvement in the Way of Allah must ask for a guide. It is the quickest and shortest way. Sayyidinâ ‘Alî asked the Prophet, what is the easiest way to our Lord? He said, «Oh ‘Alî, look for one Friend of Allah and stay in his shadow. A shadow is not going to seperate trom a man. Then you may reach easily and quickly the Lord’s Presence.»
It is not that hard to love a beloved of Allah. Because he is beloved by Allah, all creatures, everything in existence must love him. Because Allah loves. Those that don’t love, they are sheytanic. Finish. But it is more difficult to make that one to love you. It is easy to say my Sheykh is in my heart. Are you in your Sheykh’s heart? You think it’s by words? It’s so easy? There is a huge price to pay. Why? Because it is very very valuable, priceless thing. It is very expensive. And there is a huge price tag for something that is expensive, isn’t it?
Q: If The Sheykh Choose Their Murids From The Day Of Qalu Bala, Why Was I Allowed To Become Dirty All These Years?
Question: In a sohbet you said that the Shaykh chooses their murids from Qalu Bala. I took bayat at the age of 35. But if I was chosen from that time, why was I allowed to become dirty all these years?
The Day of Qalu Bala is the the day of promises, when Allah (swt) asked the question, ‘Alastubirabbikum?’ And, we replied, 'Qalu’, replied, 'Bala’ - Indeed; truly; verily. That is the day of promises, where we took a promise from Allah (swt), that we are worshipping him, that He is our Lord. And in this day of Kalu Bala, where everyone, every spirit, until Judgement Day, they were present, and we took this promise from Allah (swt). The prophets were present. The awliya-Allah, they were present. The saliheens, they were present. And in these days, in that day, some gave the answer properly, some gave the answer after a while. some gave the answer forcibly, some gave the answer quickly. Now, it is depending on that day, who you were with, how close you were, and how much your connection was.
I saw our Sheykh sitting one day in New York city in a basement, very stuffy day, and I saw him sitting. I was looking for Sufism and I saw Islam.I looked and I saw him, and for the first time in my life, I’m seeing someone who is practicing Islam, who is loving that religion. He is not apologising for that religion. He is not ashamed for that religion, he is not saying, ‘I am American muslims,’ American first instead of muslim or Pakistani muslim or Turkish muslim. He said, ‘I am a Muslim.’
I felt happy because Prophet asws is so far away from us, from me, 1400 years ago. But when I looked at him, he is representing that one. He is not that one, but he is representing that one and for the first time in my life, and I’m speaking for the behalf of so many of us here, for the first time in our life, we are feeling that we are living as if we are in the presence of the Holy Prophet asws.
We are not comparing ourselves to them. We are very far away from them, but we are tasting a little bit. We are tasting also that glue that we are putting Allah and His Prophet first. And when we look at our Sheykh, he is putting Allah and the Prophet asws first.
Holy Prophet asws is saying so many times that he did not come to the world to teach his people, the ummat, the dunya. But to bring them to akhirat, and when I sit with our Sheykh, I’m feeling that I’m not connected to this dunya. The burdens that I have is passing and I feel comfortable, the problems that I have seems small because now I understand what Allah wants from me and how I can be a servant and that brings peace to me. That gives strength to me.
So just as 1400 years ago, Holy Prophet asws also came and he brought people together who’s heart is together, and he came for the sake of haqq. That is how we are seeing our Sheykh. That is how we are seeing how he’s serving his Sheykh and how they are serving their Sheykh for 1400years, unbroken lineage and we are feeling very happy and very grateful to be part of this lineage.
It is not through our effort. It is not through our sitting down and praying so much or making zikir so much but we are thirsty for something and our Sheykh is providing us that. Alhamdulillah.
Wake up to yourself, and find yourself which category you are in. We have seen for fifteen years, so many people I have seen sitting in front of me, matter of fact, I help them, I go out of my way to give them the shahadat. Sometimes later their ego didn’t accept. They are somewhere now. So many, they left Islam again.
Wake up to yourself. Allah jalla wa’ala swt grant you something, you got to hold it tightly. It is your job to keep it, protect it. You cannot blame anybody else but you, your own self and your own sheytan. If you open door to sheytan, definitely sheytan is going to knock you down. If you shut down the door to sheytan and you say, ‘NO, I have a murshid, I have a Sheykh, I have to follow what that one says,’ then you’ll be alright. Otherwise, you are not more clever than sheytan.
You know, when the fish gets hooked and if it’s a strong one, yes so many people, you are a strong one that’s why you came around me. Meaning your ego is very strong. But you need somebody to work on it properly. Every sheykh is not going to work like this with you. They don’t even have the permission. Sometimes you are asking, ‘ Why are you doing this? Why are you being so hard on us? So many other sheykhs, they are not even doing this?’
You are right. They don’t have the permission. Soon, so many of them they are going to come. Preparing them for Mahdi too. Those ones, all are going to be trained too. For Mahdi. Otherwise, Mahdi is saying, ‘I don’t want weak ones around me. Those ones around me, they have to be strong ones.’
“As much as you believe in your Sheykh, you may give the reins over to his hands, and so find rest and satisfaction in your heart. As long as you are trying to catch the reins in your own hands, you are carrying a great burden on your shoulders. Sheykhs are the inheritors of the Prophets and are offering to carry your burdens, and you must give your burdens to them. Just put your desires in line with the Sheykh’s- that is the way to open your heart to Heavenly Power. Then you may see or hear or know something which you cannot know now.”
-Sultan el-Evliya Sheykh Mawlana Muhammad Nazim Adil El Hakkani (KS)
You have to have a guide in front of you. If you don’t have a guide in front of you then you are going to lose the right direction. The guide is that one who sees. That’s what Sheykh means. Sheykh is the one who sees ahead. It’s not an ordinary person’s seeing, no. If Sheykh has the ordinary vision too then it’s no good. That is a jubbah sheykh, zikir sheykh but it’s not a Murshid. Murshid is that one who knows when the road comes to fork, which way to turn. He sees the light going ahead and the Holy Prophet (sws) is holding that torch. Anyone who is following, they may go then, InshaAllah ar-Rahman.
Understanding The Greatness Of Your Lord & The Prophet (asws)
Sheykh Abdul Kerim Effendi Hz, yes, he is great. He is the greatest man I know. People may get upset and say, “no, it must be the Prophet (asws).He’s the greatest man.Don’t say that, that is wrong.” I don’t know the Prophet (asws). I know his name, and you know what? I know the Prophet, whatever little that I know, it is from him, it is not from me. I learn this religion from my Sheykh, not from myself, not from my ego, not from my own research, not my own understanding. Allah swt gave that faith to him to give it to me. What we can talk about the Sheykh, even other Tarikats are going to say we are committing a shirk. What we talk about the Prophet (asws), oh, imagine then.
You will not know their greatness unless you understand where you are. You will not understand their greatness until you understand our lowness. You will not understand that mountain, until you understand, when you are standing in the foot of the mountain how big it is. You can see that mountain pictures thousand times, you can study about the mountain until you stand next to the mountain and you realize, “oh, I am like this (tiny) and this is like that,” that’s the time you will understand and you will appreciate the mountain. Because, when you’re just looking at the mountain in the picture, you say, “I’m bigger than the mountain.” Isnt’ it? “It’s just a picture. Oh, mountain is very nice.” So many are reducing their Sheykh to that. Then that time, with that proper manner and that proper awe, and that proper love that you have to your Sheykh, that you are running to step on your ego and to serve, than that time they bring you into the majestic presence of the Holy Prophet (asws).
If you go to Grand Canyon and you stand next to it, you don’t look and you stand next to the Grand Canyon and say ‘what a great person I am.’ You are going to say, ‘what am I within all these?’ What about those ones who are the friends of Allah? What about the Holy Prophet (asws)? Because we have reduced him especially in these days, we reduce him to become just one of passive person. We reduce Maulana Rumi to be a passive person. Now we are going to reduce him to become a Hollywood actor. That’s what it’s going to be seared into people’s mind, when they think of Rumi they are going to think about this (Hollywood actor) I don’t know what his name is, his face there.
So you stand next to him, you feel the fear. Nothing. It’s just there. Its presence. It is there when you are standing next to it, It is there when you are not standing next to him. It is there when you are sleeping, it is there when you are waking. It is there. But when you come close, that reality, it appears. What is that reality? The fear of who you are, what he is capable of doing. So the reality of Allah,the reality of the Prophet (asws), it is beyond our understanding. If you are approaching him like that, then slowly you are understanding His greatness. His greatness, because he is the greatest Prophet. If you reduce him, you are not understanding his greatness. You may feel a little bit more comfortable, but you are not knowing him.
We are here in this way to understand the Greatness of Allah and the Greatness of the Prophet (asws), the Greatness of our Sheykh. Only when you are riding on your ego like a buraq and you are travelling, the Israh and the Mi’raj, then you are going to understand the greatness, of your Lord. Before that you think, ‘there is no Lord. Greatness is me, because I exist, I jump up and down.’ You can only understand the Greatness of your Lord when you are riding on the ego.
Prophet (asws) is saying, if you have nothing to give, give a glass a water, give one date, give a smile. Say good things to people. That is charity. Be around them that when they are around you, they feel themselves light. You are taking their burdens, you are making it easy. That is a charity. Don’t be around people, and people feel, ‘ ehh, this person again.’ No. Be around people that they get very happy that they are around you. You don’t have to know so much, but you are being a nice, easy person, you are going to carry their burdens, and that time you are being very very generous and you are being a charitable one. InshaAllah. Make that intention. Allah will send help to you.