The whole expectation that i will want children one day and i will want to get married, from my family, It’s kind of exhuasting?? The subject is always brought up at these family events and even though every time i express the idea of having kids in my life and the huge committment of marriage isn’t my thing. It’s still pushed on me.
“What if you’re wife wants kids! You’ll want them someday, they’re the greatest joy in life! You’ll change your mind later!”
Maybe i’ll change my mind later, maybe i’ll get married someday, but right now it’s none of your god damn bussiness?? like back off, chill out, fuck. Why does it matter to them so much??
take how you are taking care of yourself as selfish, or like you don’t care about them, or that you just pick and chose when you are available.
If I’ve learned anything in the past month alone is that my peace and sanity and sense of happiness all DEPEND on me.
Just like hitting rock bottom was just as much my fault as hers. Until you know what it means to give up completely, you won’t know how much my life depends on me doing any and everything to be HERE! to know that if I ever give up again that I, as well as those who support and love me daily KNOW I really exhausted all my options.
That I tried. That I did the best and my best couldn’t keep me here.
“One day I may commit suicide. But I doubt. There’s always another choice.”
Thank you so much for requesting! ^_^ I think those are all pink-haired characters in Fairy Tail. Also, I used the unofficial spelling of Chelia’s name since it’s more popular and people use it more often. The official one is Sherria Blendy. ^_^
You didn’t want us.I remember when mom first walked through the door with the two of you. You ran right over to me and you leapt into my arms. You bonded with me instantly. And it made me a little uncomfortable. Oh so you just didn’t want me. No. It made me uncomfortable because my own mother wasn’t very affectionate with me. Grandma? Yeah, she softened up over the years but she just wasn’t nurturing in that way and when I looked at you, I saw me as that little girl. Who yearned for her mom to hold her and comfort her. And I guess it scared me a little. And it made me sad. And then one night you had a bad dream. And then you woke up crying. And I came into this room and I held you. And my heart broke wide open. I felt so much love for you and so much compassion. And I realized, in that moment that this sweet sweet little girl was sent to me - she was sent to me to heal my little girl inside.