sherlock grapes

John AUs

John is a vintner who is obsessed with his grapes, Sherlock comes to the vineyard on a hunch to trip up a murderous collector and ends up staying to chat all afternoon because the reason John excels at growing grapes is that he is a bee charmer…

John is a calligrapher and when Sherlock comes to him for expertise/evidence John asks Sherlock out ten times, every time Sherlock blushes/stammers/tries to deflect, John loves it, sends him fancy little notes: ‘let’s have dinner… I’m not hungry… let’s have dinner.’

John’s wheelchair-bound after the gulf war, has a chip on his shoulder about it, picks a fight with Sherlock in a bar over his pink button-up. Sherlock deduces John’s sexuality in front of everyone, John punches him, but then buys him a drink to apologize. Then another…

John is an author working on a novel with huge anxiety that it won’t live up to his first. He creates a new character, but then actually meets Sherlock in the park trying to rescue a baby bird and thinks he’s going mad. Is he imagining this?

John is a farmer who hates manning the booth at the state fair because he hates making small talk, he prefers talking to his sheep. Sherlock is there to meet his dealer, but ends up drawing John out with his knowledge of the tensile strengths of various natural fibers and somehow forgets about his stash.

John is the bartender at a posh restaurant and Sherlock is the new disher who keeps getting picked on, so John threatens everyone, delivers a split lip in the alley on smoke break to defend him, and constantly brings him virgin cocktails during his shifts until no one will say a bad word to or about him.

John is the sun-hardened former game warden who grew up in South Africa, and is contracted to help supervise the building of a safari-themed park. Sherlock is the tall chaotician who agrees that they probably shouldn’t have bred velociraptors.

frustratedoctor marriedetectives jamlockk elizabeth-twist hudders-knows sherlock-addict shezzatective

I love to watch trends unfold here. Like with the grape thing last month and then that weird Misha thing on April Fool’s Day and now Tunalock. Yeah, its fucking weird, people, that’s what makes its awesome…duh.

Its so cool how everyone just joins in and runs with stuff. In so short of a time period there are all these edits and fan art. Everyone is so creative! I wish I could draw or do some cool edits or something.

Only on the interwebs are people that awesome to join together so fast. This is why I love Tumblr, all the weird harmony. Can there please be a Tumblr revolution?…But then of course we’d all have to leave our computers and go outside…nevermind.

Why Sherlock no longer does groceries
  • John: get some banana
  • Sherlock: *gets plantain*
  • John: buy some oranges
  • Sherlock: *buys grapefruit*
  • John: buy more grapefruit
  • Sherlock: *buys lots of grapes*
  • John: get evaporated milk
  • Sherlock: *buys fresh milk, opens it, and let it bask under the sun to evaporate*
  • John:
  • John:
  • John:
  • John:
  • John: Sherlock...
  • Sherlock: I TRIED!!!!!!!!