sherlock g

June 24th excerpt:

“You okay?” John called softly, opening the door a crack to peer in at the small person within.

Caught off guard by the unexpected flood of light, Dean stumbled to his feet, one arm half-raised in defense with his other hand diving for his knife. Years of instincts developed from his current size had combined with the wariness he’d learned from his father, putting him constantly on edge and ready to act at a moment’s notice.

Realizing who was there, Dean’s eyes narrowed and he felt the tension leave his back. It was just John, and he meant well, despite how startling he could be.

The Language of Music: Sonata No. 1 in g-minor, by Johann Sebastian Bach

This is the piece Sherlock plays when Moriarty comes to visit 221b. The introduction to the fateful scene, one of the most analysed and brilliant scenes in the show. 

But it is also the piece that comes to Sherlock’s mind when Eurus asks him to play for her. 

Why this choice? He could have played anything but he chooses the piece he played during his fateful encounter with Moriarty, the scene that anticipated the fall after which his life was never going to be the same again. And at this point in TFP he does not even know about a connection between Eurus and Moriarty. 

You may know about my Sherlock = Eurus theory. If this is true, Sherlock would be telling himself not to play Bach (the piece associated with Moriarty and all the heartbreak that followed this encounter) but to play his Irene composition (symbolising love and sexual desire). Fine with me. 

anonymous asked:

Do u know any fics where Sherlock is jealous?

NONNNNYYYYYY YES. 

I love Jealous Sherlock so much. I know I’m missing a tonne of them here, but these are the ones I could quickly find or remember being Jealous!Sherlock! I’m also adding Possessive Sherlock here as well, because I LOVE LOVE LOVE “his / My John” SO SO MUCH and literally I fave every fic that has it in there. GUH. 

JEALOUS SHERLOCK

  • Unimpressed by 221b_hound (M, 3106 w.) – Sherlock has no intention of attending the Met’s New Year’s Eve party. The start of a new year is all but meaningless to him. But he ends up there anyway, having odd conversations, and John does not find Sherlock’s jealousy the slightest bit cute. And then there is dancing. Part 10 of Unkissed
  • Unforgiven by 221b_hound (M, 4721 w.) – Sherlock’s latest case is for his ex boyfriend, the brilliant and handsome Professor Victor Trevor. John is not too happy about that. But things aren’t what they seem, an old friend of John’s is involved in the case, and John has a few surprises up his sleeve. Also - a proposal! Part 16 of Unkissed
  • Mine (He Says While Still Being Smol) by beejohnlocked (E, 1,319 w.) – A suspect flirts with John. Sherlock gets a bit jealous. Okay, a LOT jealous.
  • Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w.) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they’ve made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.
  • For you, there’s only me by shock_blanket (E, 19,557 w.) – Sherlock realizes he has fallen in love with John, but believes he is unlovable. Cue lots of pining and jealousy on Sherlock’s part, followed by our favorite cuddly marksman making it all better. Because for Sherlock, there’s only John.
  • Matters of National Security by mistyzeo (E, 8,465 w.) – John starts dating a male client of Sherlock’s, and Sherlock can’t figure out why he’s so incensed about it.
  • Velvet by headlessjess (G, 1,155 w.) – It’s the day, the wedding day - John and Mary, getting married. And then there’s Sherlock, in pain and in love, without knowing how to deal with it.
  • 5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w.) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He’s charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?
  • Five Times John Noticed But Didn’t Really by ScandalousMinds (T, 6,383 w.) – 5 times John (thought) he noticed something peculiar about his and Sherlock’s relationship but really missed the obvious.
  • The Kissing Disease by cottonballz_of_death (E, 30,856 w.) – John brings home a boyfriend, shocking Sherlock, who long ago gave up hope that his straight flatmate would ever take a romantic interest in him. In a bid to reconnect with John, he tries to infect himself with a “harmless” virus. Neither of them is prepared for the emotional fallout that results.
  • Surety by hudders (G, 2,477w.) – “Sherlock is pissed because it seems that four pints of larger, two shots of tequila and a glass of wine has resulted in Lestrade becoming a little bit too friendly with everyone. And by everyone, Sherlock really means John.”
  • Butterfly, Pinned Under Glass by billiethepoet (E, 4,648 w.) – It started as a desire to keep John safe and whole, and ended up as just desire.
  • Correspondence by Cleo2010 (T, 8031 w.) – Sherlock’s been spirited away on a case for Mycroft. Part of the deal was that he and John could communicate via letter until the case was completed. Maybe the cliche is true, absence does make the heart grow fonder. Or perhaps something is growing on the feet in the fridge. Read their letters month by month. Written after series one.
  • Presence by LostGirl (M, 8625 w.) – Sherlock has recently noticed a shift in his own perceptions, but he can’t quite figure out when it started.
  • Obsession, Appassionato by shinychimera, Yeomanrand (E, 4,249 w.) – John is late, and he hasn’t called, and Sherlock works himself into a state. Part 1 of Love and Ysaye (FAVE!!)
  • Interlude by sussexbound (SamanthaLenore) (G, 2,837w.) – “Are you actually doing anything?” Sherlock scowls. “What?” “Are you busy? Because if not, I could use your help peeling potatoes.” “I’m not eating what you’re making. Why should I peel the potatoes?” John just shakes his head. “Because it might be a polite and thoughtful thing to do for the person who loves you. Just a tip.”Oh…Part 8 of The Homecoming
  • Understanding by sussexbound (SamanthaLenore) (T, 4,556 w.) – John’s face stretches into a smile that fades again, just as quickly. “It just comes like that, sometimes—all of a sudden. You don’t expect it.” He murmurs against Sherlock’s skin. “What does?” “Grief.” Part 9 of The Homecoming
  • Sibling Rivalry Or Fighting Over John Watson by Jessa7 (T, 8K+ w., Romance and Humour, FFNet) – Mycroft is just as much of a genius as Sherlock is. He keeps randomly kidnapping John for chats, and the locations get better. Cue Sherlock’s younger sibling complex rearing up and jealousy ensues.
  • Come Home by hudders-and-hiddles (E, 3,763 w. | more pining than jealous but close enough) – When John leaves for a medical conference, Sherlock tries to entice him back home.
  • The Semantics of Crop Circle Formation: a case study by Sherlock Holmes [unpublished] by canolacrush (M, 41,710 | Cockblocking Sherlock) – “Look at these photographs,” I said, gesturing to the wall of crop circles. “What do you observe?”“Crop circles,” John replied.“Obvious. What else?”“Are…are those intestines surrounding them?”“Yes. The majority are bovine and ovine in origin. The farmers who have acquired these crop circles in their fields have also had a tenth of their livestock murdered and arranged thus.”“Why?” John said, presumably in a rhetorical fashion.I detest rhetorical questions. “That is what I must find out, John.”
  • Down with this Ship by FrostedFlame (PinkOrchid) (M, 10,862 w.) – Sherlock drags John undercover to a gay bar - for a case, of course - looking forward to seeing John flustered by their surroundings (since you know, he’s NOT GAY). John decides that he has hidden both his orientation and his feelings for his daft flatmate for far too long. He is done hiding, time to be honest with his bloody best friend in the world. He just hopes it won’t change anything between them. And then it does.
  • That Partitioning of the Things of Youth by wearitcounts (Sher_locked_up) (E | 35,353 w.) - Victor Trevor is in town, and nobody’s happy. [[I really like this one. Jealous John AND Sherlock and lots of Angst]].
  • Paparazzi by SilentAuror (E, 10,543 w.) – John moves back into 221B Baker Street after his marriage falls apart and the paparazzi won’t leave him and Sherlock alone about the status of their supposed relationship. Sherlock, of course, never denies it, until one day he does…
  • Pattern Behaviour by SilentAuror (E, 14,835w) – Sherlock doesn’t even know why he resents John’s dates so much. Until the day he does know. Slight angst, unrequited feelings (but don’t let that scare you off!) (FAVE!) 

OBSESSIVE / POSSESSIVE SHERLOCK

  • Perdition’s Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, Treklock, 63,435 w., | mild Possessive Sherlock) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe
  • The Things You Hide *Adult Edition* by verityburns (E, 10,821 w.) – Sherlock and John have been working and living together for nearly a year, each finding the other’s friendship to be the one thing they would not risk or want to live without. Until something happens to disturb the status quo…
  • Let Go by thisisforyou (G, 2,743 w.) – In the end, separating John’s things from Sherlock’s in the chaos of their sitting room is like pulling a limpet from a wet rock. Especially when the rock is clinging on for dear life, because Sherlock doesn’t want to let go. 
  • In the cherry blossom’s shade by Eliane (M, 3,934 w.) – “This isn’t new. Sherlock has already done this – has gone through cities, and dingy hotels, and sleepless nights but it was different before. John wasn’t there before. They’re in this together.”
  • The Marriage Proposal Negotiation by Goddess_of_the_Night (G, 2161 w.) –  Sherlock hasn’t ever really done anything the traditional way, so of course it wouldn’t bother him to propose to John even though they’re not even dating. And the fact that John is already on a date with someone else when he decides to do it? Tedious. Marrying John was the only thing he could do to ensure John was his.
  • The Light of Day by allonsys_girl (M, 7297 w.) – Rewrite of the end of Sign of Three. John actually notices Sherlock leaving the reception early, and chases after him. Angsty Johnlock. Happy ending, for sure. Part 1 of The Light of Day
  • Let the Sun Fade Out by nothingislittle (E, 2711 w.) – “He could warm the sun itself, Sherlock thinks, could heat their flat with just his presence, could brighten the room with one dazzling smile or just the sparkling in his eyes. Everything hurts when John looks this beautiful, but it’s a dulcet, aching pain, one that consumes Sherlock from the inside, that sends soft pangs through his abdomen and lodges a lump solidly in his throat. John glows, he glitters, he’s light itself, Sherlock thinks, and doesn’t even bother to scold himself for exaggerating, because he’s not, he’s not, John is everything, he’s beautiful and he shines, he’s everything.”
  • On a Sunday Morning by SD_Ryan for jimmytiberius (G, 3136 w.) – Sherlock has a little problem. He can’t stop obsessing about John Watson.
  • His by I’m Nova (T, 1K+ w., Humour & H/C) – Sherlock doesn’t share what he’s fond of. (FAVE!!)
  • Foresight by niffler09 (K, 2K+w) – It’s raining and neither John nor Sherlock have an umbrella so they huddle under Sherlock’s coat. And then Mycroft walks past and makes smartass remarks. (FAVE!!)
  • Possessive by Fang323 (T, 850w. H/c & Friendship) – His John did not belong. Not here. Not in this blasted hospital. It simply was not logical.

As I’ve said in the past, all my rec lists are of fics I’ve read, so I’m sure I’m missing a tonne more that are probably on my MFL list, but please feel free to add your own recs! 

They named her Elizabeth Mayinga Holmes. While Mrs. Hudson gushed about the little girl in Molly’s hands, John dig out his phone and did a quick search. And then he groaned.

When his wife looked at him strangely he just showed her the result on the screen. Mary merely snorted and shook her head. She didn’t understand why he was so surprised.

Of course Sherlock and Molly Holmes will name their daughter after an Ebola virus variant. Was there ever any doubt?

As the little girl grew she was called by just about any variation of her name. Only her uncle still called her Elizabeth. He was persistent in his opinion that since she was named that way that is the only name that should be used.

Her mother always called her Ellie. Even when she was angry at her, and her father, for playing with an experiment that was recklessly left out in the open, she was always Ellie.

Uncle John and aunt Mary used the nickname Liz, and her not-real-but-we-don’t-care cousin always called her Lizzy. They were Rosie and Lizzy and they were inseparable.

Her grandparents loved her unique middle name, even though grandma Violet scowled Sherlock about naming his daughter after a deadly disease, but they never used it. Instead to them she was Eliza.

Mrs. Hudson said right away she looked like a Beth, so that nickname remained until the landlady died many years later.

Inspector Lestrade often dropped by the flat to talk to her dad. He too was a honorary uncle, but he always called her ‘kid’. So she never failed to use a different name that started on G when she talked to him.

But from all the nicknames Elizabeth preferred the one her dad used. It was simple.

He called her Sweetheart.

johnlocked-ianthony  asked:

Hello Steph! Could you recommend some (preferably fluffy) fics where Sherlock experiments on John. I read "A Terrific Soporific" today and really liked it! So something like that?

Hi Lovely! 

Absolutely! I’m adding all kinds of versions of experimentation, so I hope these are to your liking!

SHERLOCK EXPERIMENTS ON JOHN

  • A Terrific Soporific by antietamfalls (T, 11,269 w.) Sherlock, a long-time sufferer of insomnia, is forced to share a bed with John at a hotel while on a case. To his astonishment, he finds that spending the night next to John helps him sleep and becomes determined to maneuver himself back into John’s bed.

  • Unmapped by 221b_hound (E, 2,385 w.) – Sherlock wishes to explore more about his desires. To this end, he conducts a kissing experiment in the afternoon of Christmas Day. John is all for experiments of this nature. They are going to learn a thing or two together. Part 9 of Unkissed

  • Unrestrained by 221b_hound (E, 5,377 w.) – Another experiment in desire - it’s not just what about what Sherlock likes to experience, but what he likes to do. It turns out that it’s much more about who he likes to do it to, and the way John’s desire has become bound up with restraint. Part 11 of Unkissed

  • Thermodynamics Series by entanglednow (T to E, 16,300 w. over 4 works) – In which there’s no heating and there’s a dead owl in Sherlock’s bed. Sherlock conducts an experiment in John’s bed.

  • To Sleep, Perchance to Smother Your Flatmate with a Pillow by Linpatootie (G, 5,308 w.) – Sherlock wants to conduct a sleep study of sorts. John contemplates smothering him with a pillow. Part 1 of Two Coffees One Black One with Sugar Please

  • Bed-Sharing Between Flatmates by testosterone_tea (T, 5,053 w.) – 5 times Sherlock had an excuse to share John’s bed, and the one time he didn’t need one.

  • You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w.) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock’s study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn’t entirely mind.

  • Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by cypress_tree (E, 10,669 w.) – John helps Sherlock with an experiment: for an entire month, they are not allowed to touch each other and must remain at least one metre apart at all times. {{SOOOO GOOD}}

  • The Genetic Algorithm by Bitenomnom (NR, 3,786 w.) – Some problems defy the usage of cold, clean-cut linear logic. It is impossible to devise a way to take steps that ultimately lead exactly to an optimal answer. Sherlock believes John Watson is one of those problems. Part 28 of Mathematical Proof

  • Nightfall by CKLizzy (T, 8,001 w.) – Awoken by nightmares, John and Sherlock seek each other’s company at night. They find more than either of them knew they were missing. Part 1 of Solace {{more “exploring each other” than experimenting}}

  • On a Sunday Morning by SD_Ryan for jimmytiberius (G, 3,136 w.) – Sherlock has a little problem. He can’t stop obsessing about John Watson.

  • Paired Comparison Experiment Notes, Trials 1-24 by Bitenomnom  (NR, 1198 w.) – Sherlock plays footsie with John for an experiment. Continuation of The Paired Comparison Model.

  • Vatican Cameos by ALLthe-doms (T, 1k+ w., FFNet) – Quick story about the beginning of the phrase Vatican Cameos and the practice that went into perfecting it.

  • Who Else Would I Call? by Lastew (K+, 3k+ w., FFNet) – John sees Sherlock repeatedly entering a number into his phone, but when he questions Sherlock about it, Sherlock is evasive. What’s going on here?

  • The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1K+ w., FFNet) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

  • It’s an Experiment by YupThatsMySock (K+, 1k+ w., FFNet) – Sherlock kidnaps John’s jumpers for “an experiment”. John decides it’s only fair to kidnap the skull.

  • Unspoken by PipMer (G, 2770 w.) – Sherlock wanted to test a hypothesis. About John. He wanted a question answered that he couldn’t just ask, at least not under normal conditions, because John would never tell him the truth about that.

  • Last Christmas by Mazarin221b (T, 3,911w.) – That Earth-shaking revelation, then, leads to a problem, and one that Sherlock realizes should be solved quickly, before John’s dates turn into girlfriends or boyfriends, because sometimes girlfriends or boyfriends can turn into wives or husbands while your back is turned. Every time John hums happily at the mirror as he shaves, splashes on a little gift cologne Mrs. Hudson bought him for Christmas, Sherlock is drawn back to that night by the fire, and the way John’s touch had made the world stand still. {{LOVE this one. Not really “experimenting” but more “recreating a situation to make something else happen}}

  • Problematic by MrsNoggin (E, 6,164 w.) – Sherlock Holmes is fine with problems. More than fine. Problems are his job. More than his job. Problems are his life. Sherlock really wants to ask John something. Only, he’s not sure what… 

JOHN EXPERIMENTS ON SHERLOCK

  • Manipulation by sixbynine (K+, 2k+ w. FFNet) – John Watson is not as unobservant as Sherlock thinks, nor is he above using what he knows. Even if it is just to make sure Sherlock eats and sleeps. {{John is the one experimenting in this one :D}}

  • Never Have I Ever by Hannelore-Grace (T, 2k+, FFNet) – In which the Yarders, Sherlock, and John play the time-honored drinking game. {{Everyone tries to get Sherlock drunk}}

  • A Stupid Person’s Talent by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 1K+, FFNet) – In which John tries to teach Sherlock how to ice skate.

  • It’s a Crime Scene! by Ttime42 (K, 1k+, FFNet) – John tries to coax Sherlock out of a bad mood at a crime scene. 

  • An Experiment in Empathy Series by belovedmuerto (G to T, 62 397w across 13 stories) –  In which John is an empath, Sherlock is Sherlock, and an epic bromance happens. In the aftermath of The Great Game, John creates an unexpected bond between himself and Sherlock. Now they have to learn how to deal with it. John is better at this than Sherlock is. {{I LOVE this SERIES SO MUCH.}}

  • An Experiment in Apathy Series by belovedmuerto (G to E, 28,701 w. over 13 stories, WIP) – John and Sherlock navigate their complicated relationship. I adore this series, and it feels complete where it leaves off :)

BOTH EXPERIMENT ON THEMSELVES or EACH OTHER AT THE SAME TIME

  • The Kissing Disease by cottonballz_of_death (E, 30,856w.) – John brings home a boyfriend, shocking Sherlock, who long ago gave up hope that his straight flatmate would ever take a romantic interest in him. In a bid to reconnect with John, he tries to infect himself with a “harmless” virus. Neither of them is prepared for the emotional fallout that results.

  • I’m Pretty Sure This Changes Shit by cwb (E, 7,672 w.) – Sherlock finds increasingly ridiculous ways to get John to patch him up after hurting himself.

  • Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w.) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

  • The Great Sex Olympics of 221B by XistentialAngst (E, 58,611 w.) – John Watson thinks Sherlock Holmes should admit that he, Watson, is more of an expert on sex than Sherlock is. But Sherlock refuses to concede the point. He comes up with an experiment plan that will resolve the issue. The results will determine who wins the prize. But sometimes even the best thought-out scientific study has unexpected consequences.

  • The Cuddle Sutra by aceofhearts61 (G, 3,218 w.) – In which Sherlock orders the Cuddle Sutra; he and John try out some of the positions. Part 20 of A Love with No Name

  • A Study in Intimacy by doodle (T, 5,183 w.) – People don’t touch Sherlock Holmes, not like they touch other people. Then he meets John Watson.

  • 34 Minutes by bendingsignpost (T, 4,698 w.) – An experiment in eye contact.

“AFTERMATH” OF EXPERIMENTS

  • Living In Fear by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 4K+, FFNet) – Missing Scene for Hounds of the Baskerville. John suffers from massive PTSD episodes upon their return from Dartmoor. {{The aftermath of Sherlock’s experiment rather than a running experiment}}

  • In The Wake by Ambikai (K+, 2k+ w. , FFNet) – After returning from Baskerville, Sherlock and John deal with the aftermath: unsure of where they sit with one another.

OTHER SEMI-RELATED FICS

  • Equilibrium by augustbird (M, 12,351 w.) – At Baskerville, John is infected by a virus that turns him into a genius. But when the infection progresses into neurodegeneration, it’s a race against time to save himself. {{Sherlock’s experimenting to save John}}

  • A Symphony of Chemical Reactions by what_alchemy  (T, 2,351 w.) – Cooking’s just chemistry and time management.

  • The Engine by stitchy (T, 8,294 w.)Shortly after the events of His Last Vow, Sherlock has an opportunity to revisit the night of A Study in Pink and get some perspective on the destiny of he and John’s relationship.

  • A Quiet Murmuration by cathedral_carver (T, 4,684 w.) – Just pay me back with one thousand kisses. {{Not really “experimenting” more than “Sherlock is paying John back”. Still fantastic.}}

  • Too Visible by chappysmom (K+, 23k+ w. FFNet) – With his gift of being invisible, John has always worried about being locked away in an experimental government lab. Baskerville is quite literally John’s worst nightmare—and the hound has nothing to do with it. It’s all Sherlock’s fault, but will he realize that? Sequel to “Invisible” and “Still Invisible.” {{This was one of the first AU’s I’ve ever read, and I still love it. Read “Invisible” to make sense of this one}}

  • Experiments in Trust by oleanderhoney (T, 5k+ w., FFNet) – “I can glance at a dead body and instantly know their life, and where they work, and who their lover is, but with you I can’t tell what it means when you look at me and your eyes are so dark they look brown even though they are blue. Or what it means when your hand starts to shake at certain crime scenes, and yet can be as solid as iron after you kill a man…”

  • You Remind Me of a Man by columbine-and-asphodel (M, 17k+w., FFNet) – Sherlock is a living human experiment. John, an android medicinal ethics monitor, reviews the place that’s been experimenting on Sherlock and is thrown by what he finds. Inspired by but no spoilers for The Hounds of Baskerville. {{This is an abandoned WiP from years ago, sadly, but what is here is very good}}

  • 33 by Indigo Blue.x (K+, 2k+ w., FFNet)  “I haven’t made a zombie,” Sherlock says scathingly, which would be more convincing if there were not a zombie in the flat.

  • A Study in Linguistics by rizandace (T, 12k+w., FFNet) – Sherlock Holmes and John Watson had their own language. It was a language of few words and minute facial expressions, and John had learned that it was nearly the only way to have an honest conversation with his eccentric flat mate.

  • A collection of seemingly unrelated things by Volitan (T, 3k+w., FFNet) – An Axe Murderer, Five Stitches, a Banana and a New Pair of Shoes… They’re a seemingly random collection of things, unless Sherlock and John are involved, and then the items as a collective make complete sense.

  • LHR-HNL by scullyseviltwin (E, 35,066 w.) – In need of an endangered flora sample, Sherlock and John must make a trip to an unexpected destination.

  • The Semantics of Crop Circle Formation: a case study by Sherlock Holmes [unpublished] bycanolacrush (M, 41,710 w.) – “Look at these photographs,” I said, gesturing to the wall of crop circles. “What do you observe?”“Crop circles,” John replied.“Obvious. What else?”“Are…are those intestines surrounding them?”“Yes. The majority are bovine and ovine in origin. The farmers who have acquired these crop circles in their fields have also had a tenth of their livestock murdered and arranged thus.”“Why?” John said, presumably in a rhetorical fashion. I detest rhetorical questions. “That is what I must find out, John.”

  • The Dying Genius by JuweWright (K, 8k+w., FFNet) – John’s POV. Mrs Hudson comes to John’s clinic with alarming news: Sherlock has contracted a terrible illness and might be dying…

  • Dying Changes Everything by whitchry9 (K+, 1k+, FFNet) – Sherlock is having an existential crisis and wants to have a near death experience like John did to gain some perspective. “Shoot me John!” he insisted, gesturing to himself. John just looked at him. “Are you completely mad?” {{Unhappyish ending, TW for gunshot}}

  • Six Months by dreamergirl090 (T, 16K+ w., FFNet) – John doesn’t show up to a crime scene. Lestrade wonders if John and Sherlock had a row. Molly knows it’s more complicated than that. {{TW Major Character Death and hardcore angst!!! Sherlock is experimenting throughout the fic}}

Feel free to add some of your own, y’all!

Conversation on a Train

M: We have to kill Mary. How?

G: I know… in an AQUARIUM!!!

M: Oh, cool! But wouldn’t that break the glass and let the fish come pouring in on everyone?

G: Nah, never mind the glass. We’ll kill her in an aquarium, because we likened CAM to a shark, with cold, dead eyes!

M: OK. OK. This is great.

G: Who will shoot her?

M: Well, it would be great if John shot her to protect Sherlock from her assassinating ways!

G: Yeah, that would be cool, wouldn’t it? Imagine the guilt both John and Sherlock would feel over that. And it would settle the damned assassination subplot anyway. How can John be pleasantly married to someone who shot and killed Sherlock?

(Both grow quiet, pondering the unlikelihood of the marriage.)

M: What about the baby?

G: Well, obviously, we can’t have a baby on the show. Who would watch her when the boys went on their adventures?

M: Why did we add that subplot to TSOT?

G: I don’t remember. Well… anyway, we’ll write the baby off somehow.

(Tea service arrives; boys take a break.)

M: Now, where were we?

G: Killing Mary IN AN AQUARIUM!

M: Oh, yeah. Who will shoot her?

G: Um… I forget what we were saying. Um… how about… Hmm…

M: I know! Let’s make it a secretary from that secret group that Mycroft and Lady Alicia Smallwood belong to.

G: Lady Alicia? Isn’t it Elizabeth?

M: Is it? I don’t remember. We can look it up later.

G: OK… so the secretary… oh, I’ve got a great idea! What if the secretary is aiming for SHERLOCK, and Mary jumps in front of the bullet?!

M: Oh, man, that’s COOL! And then blood can like spurt out of the wound!

G: And Mary can have beautiful final conversations with John AND Sherlock and tell them both how wonderful they are.

M: Might it be biologically unlikely for a dying woman to have a conversation? When we wrote HLV, didn’t some medical person give us some advice about bullet wounds and shock and loss of consciousness?

G: Hmm… I don’t remember. Never mind for now. We can look it up later.

(Boys take a small nap.)

M: Mark! Mark! Wake up! I just had a cool dream.

G: What was it?

M: What if there is a SISTER! Sherlock and Mycroft have a SISTER!

G: Oh, cool. Let’s name her Eurus, like “East Wind.”

M: Eurus, yeah! Yeah! And maybe… is she a good sister who died tragically when they were young? Which caused Sherlock to close off his feelings and explains, a bit, why he devoted himself to logic and intellect?

G: No… too simple… let’s maker her EVIL. Like, super evil. Eviller than Moriarty!

M: Yeaaaaaah. Super Evil! And she’s a Holmes, so she has to be the smartest Holmes. And she can CONTROL PEOPLE WITH HER MIND!!!!

M & G: And WE CAN BUILD HER A FORTRESS PRISON ON A SCARY ISLAND!!!

(Several minutes of delighted cackling.)

M: So Eurus is in secret fortress prison, but… she can control people with her mind, so she can come and go whenever she wants.

G: She can flirt wtih John if she wears a red wig!

M: And she can hang out with Sherlock and eat chips if she wears a blonde wig!

G: And she can be John’s new therapist if she wears a gray wig! And John won’t recognize her because he’s a dumb fuck and she can CONTROL PEOPLE WITH HER MIND!!!

M: AND SHE CAN SHOOT JOHN!

G: OMG, this is SO FUCKING GOOD. Groundbreaking television!!!

M: But before she shoots John, John and Sherlock can make up with a hug.

G: Um… Why were they fighting?

M: Um… because John thinks Mary’s death was Sherlock’s fault because Mary took the bullet for Sherlock? In the aquarium?

G: OK. But can John beat Sherlock up very badly first?

M: Yeah. Yeah. Good.

G: Now… just to keep them hopping, let’s throw in some kind of memory-changing IV drug. We can call it T12.

M: Oh, yeah. That sounds mysterious. Will it have any bearing on Sherlock’s strangely missing memories of his sister? Or the weirdness of the island fortress or the AIRPLANE GIRL PLOT I just made up? This girl is alone on a plane and all the adults are asleep and she calls Sherlock!!

G: No. No bearing. No connection. But I love AIRPLANE GIRL PLOT.

M: Like… she’s flying over cities. They have to make her crash the plane over water!

G: You know what else I want to do?

M: What?

G: UmbrellaSwordGun. Remember when we drew that in our notebook that one time!?

M: Totally. Let’s UmbrellaSwordGun the hell out of Mycroft. And –

M & G (in unison): BLEEDING EYEBALL PORTRAIT!!

(Laughter)

M: Eurus can chain John in a well.

G: Didn’t she already shoot John?

M: Never mind that. She can chain John in a well… um… like she did many years ago…

G: To Sherlock’s dog REDBEARD!!

M: No! No! To Sherlock’s best friend VICTOR TREVOR! Whom he CALLS Redbeard!!

G: But let’s make a dog bowl anyway and write “Redbeard” on it.

M: Obviously.

G: So, John’s in a well with the dead dog…

M: Dead BOY.

G: Dead BOY… right… and he chained in there… and Sherlock has to hug his sister so she’ll tell him where John is!

M: I thought we were on the Fortress Prison Island?

G: Yeah yeah that was like ten seconds ago. Now we’re back at the Holmes estate and there are lots of creepy headstones with fake dates on them? And John is in a well. And the water is rising.

M: So Sherlock keeps having water flashbacks all through this season. Even he could fight a bad guy in a pool and almost drown! Because childhood trauma!!!

G: But Sherlock doesn’t know that the dog drowned.

M: BOY drowned.

G: Sherlock doesn’t know that the boy drowned, so why would he have water fears?

M: Never mind that. Silly details.

G: And Sherlock finally gets his sister to tell him where John is, and they throw a rope to him and he climbs out of the well.

M: Isn’t he chained?

G: That was like ten seconds ago. Now he’s fine, and BLANKET.

M: Can Greg be there?

G: Yeah, yeah!

M: He’s not in London?

G: No, he’s by the well.

(Both men lean back in thick, cozy self-approval.)

(Several minutes pass.)

M: Can we blow up 221B as well?

G: DRONE?

M: YES! Drone.

M & G (in unison): GRENADE DRONE!!

(Both men settle in for happy, contented naps.)