“Okay, so what kind of utter idiot tries to climb the fells clothed like this? Those shoes … Jesus. You’d be lucky if you only sprained that ankle of yours and didn’t break it.”

“It wasn’t my intention to do any climbing until the case required it.”

“The case? So you’re … what? A policeman?”

“Consulting Detective.”

“Never heard of that profession.”

“I invented it.”

“Did you now? What exactly do you do?”

“When the police are out of their depth, which is always, they consult me.”

“The police don’t consult amateurs.”

“Actually, they do, doctor. Army doctor, too. Been sent here to the Lake District by your therapist for a change of air and some physical exertion to combat your PTSD from a traumatic event in … was it Afghanistan or Iraq?”

“How do you know all this?”

“I didn’t know, I saw.”


“Well …”

For this month’s @sherlockchallenge: Alternative Meeting