shepard was in her room

Naked Cuddles

Wrote this for a challenge a while ago. Not sure if I ever posted it. 

Shakarian fluff. 

——

The soft glow of the fish tank and the shining stars overhead keeping the commander’s cabin from complete darkness. The Commander laid in her bed watching the spots of distance stars pass, with pale blue eyes, she reached up reminding herself to breath, she was safe in the Normandy. Not choking on the trailing air that was being sucked from her lungs after the attack. She closed her eyes filling her lungs before the door to her cabin bleeped. She pulled the blankets tighter around her. She waited with only the sound of the fish filter and her own heart pounding in her chest to fill the void. “Who is it?” She asked almost in a whisper as a blue light flashed on near the door.

“Shepard it’s Garrus Vakarian. You vitals were erratic and he was the only crew member awake to check on you.” The light flashed off, Shepard knew that EDI wasn’t gone. She was the ship she heard and saw everything.

Shepard thought about turning over and trying to sleep. Something she’d not been able to do since she’d woken up from the dead. She worried that this was some nightmare and she’d wouldn’t wake up again. The door bleeped again as Garrus made another attempt to get her attention. She grabbed her pillow and covered her head. Garrus couldn’t see her like this. She was a wreck, weak and pathetic; the Turian had always looked up to her; how could she disappoint him like this?  

She opened her eyes as she her a swooshing of her cabin door opening. She sat up the pillow that had been covering her face now covered her chest. Garrus froze at the top of the steps. She narrowed her eyes trying to look pissed at the intrusion. Garrus glanced around then he stepped down towards her bed. “Shepard are you alright?”

Shepard tighten her grip on the pillow blocking Garrus’ view of her breast. “I was until someone broke into my cabin.” She tried to sound like an angry commander that had been walked in on, but Garrus didn’t even look fazed.

“EDI told me your vitals were off. I was…worried for you.” He wasn’t in his armor like he usually was. He was in a blue and yellow tunic with matching pants. It was one of the few times she’d seen him in everyday clothes.

Shepard couldn’t be mad at him. She knew she’d do the same if EDI told her one of her crew wasn’t well. She relaxed. “I’m…” She slowly glanced up. Garrus followed her gaze then a small clicking sound was heard and he slowly sat on the bed with her.

He reached out carefully putting his hand on her shoulder. “I can have that covered if it bothers you. I…I can’t understand what you went through two years ago. But…” He lowered his head. “I’ll always be here for you Shepard.”

Shepard felt the last of the tension leave her shoulders, “I don’t want to burden you or the crew. You’ve got a dangerous mission ahead of you.”

Garrus growled softly as he took his hand back, “Shepard you’re on the same dangerous mission. You take our burdens without questions; you helped me without asking for anything else. You’ve saved Miranda’s sister and Mordin’s student. Blew up half a planet for Jack and dealt with Grunt’s…puberty. Please Shepard, if you need anything. All you have to do is ask.”

Shepard hugged the pillow in her arms not sure if Garrus would be able to handle what she had been dying to ask since she’d saved him from Omega. “Will you…lay with me?” She bit her bottom lip. “I…haven’t been able to sleep. Waking up alone. It’s…terrifying.” She felt her vision began to blur as water build up in her eyes and she shivered as she saw Garrus get up. She closed her eyes as the tears fell down her face, she knew it, he was leaving. Who really wanted to see their hero cry?

She opened her eyes as weight returned to the bed and Garrus was pulling the sheets up over his naked form. “I’m not the most comfortable person to lay with but I’ll stay with you.” Shepard felt the air in her lung catch as she moved over giving him room. “Is this ok?” He asked.

Shepard chuckled through her tears as the Turain moved closer to her nuzzling the side of her head. Shepard shifted around until she found a position, with Garrus, where his plates weren’t poking into her. His arm rested over her stomach and he closed his eyes. Shepard watched him then she smiled, “Thanks for cuddling with me Garrus.”

Garrus hummed with his sub vocals, “Anything for you, Shepard.” He rubbed his head against her short brown hair. “Though you may regret cuddling with a Turian in the morning.”

  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>Crew:</b> okay Shepard, you've gotta tell us, what's your first name?<p/><b>Shepard:</b> my first name? I'm surprised you haven't asked before, it's--<p/><b>Grunt:</b> *charges past leading a horde of krogan in a conga line for the noodle stand*<p/><b>Shepard:</b> --but everyone just calls me Shepard!<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>
A little Shore Leave

Shepard and her crew had spent about three days on Feros in total and after that mission ended it was time for some shore leave. Shepard didn’t think this was the time for such a thing- but Adam’s down in the drive core insisted. After she thought about it, a checkup wouldn’t hurt anyone. Plus, it was Jokers birthday that weekend.

She really could use a few days break after the non-stop missions they’d had. The stress of it all weighing down on her a bit. She always had insomnia, but this was something else. Shepard found herself laying in bed every night staring at her ceiling. The minutes blurred into hours and night after night she grew more restless. After every mission she had new bruises and scars. Each one telling it’s own story. And the difficulty to find peace in her bed crept further away. She really did need a break, her body needed the break.

When the Normandy arrived at the Citadel a few days later the crew started to disperse and Shepard had no idea what to do with herself. How could she relax knowing what was coming? After all that she had seen so far? All of her thoughts had been on the mission. Reapers, Saren and the geth… sometimes during those sleepless nights she even found herself thinking about Garrus…

Shepard stood on the docking bay outside of the Normandy saluting, waving and hugging off her crew members for the weekend. Garrus waited by the elevator watching her. He could see how each crew member had a different relationship with Shepard, and they were all personalized and unique. Shepard knew everyone on that ship. She knew their service history, details about their families… their hopes, dreams and fears. But it wasn’t just that she felt obligated to know them, Shepard was genuinely interested in them all. Garrus remembered her saying that knowing her crew made her stronger. It gave her something to fight for.

She really is incredible. Beautiful.

Wait a minute. Incredible? Beautiful? He couldn’t remember the last time he had referred to anyone with such high regard. Garrus never really had time for relationships and it’s not like he had a thing for humans… He had heard about the fetishes but he never found one attractive. Well, not until Shepard.

Garrus thought about how protective he was of her, all those long nights learning each other. The way she smiled at him. That smile that was only his…It didn’t matter what sleep deprived thoughts he was having in that moment only one thing really mattered: she was human, and he was turian.

Even if it wasn’t weird for the obvious reasons he could think of multiple other reasons it couldn’t happen. She was his superior. His boss. His Commander. Maybe that should have been higher up the list of problems in his fantasy… Whatever he was feeling was nothing, a momentary lapse. Shepard was his best friend. He cared for her deeply and in those couple months she had been a better friend to him than anyone he had ever known.

He thought about how Shepard had kept her word and helped him track down Dr. Saleon. Once he saw the doctor he’d been tracking all reason went out the window: he wanted blood. She had seen the look in his eyes, ordering him to stand down. Garrus respected her too much to disobey a direct order, so reluctantly he complied. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew she was right.

Killing Dr. Saleon would solve nothing. It wouldn’t bring those people back. I wouldn’t undo all the time Garrus spent tracking him. But if they took him in they could get some information; about the hostages, what he had been up to… anything. They didn’t know what the doctor had been doing, or if he had been harvesting organs again somewhere else. Had he got himself into a bigger mess they didn’t know about under his new allies Dr. Heart? Garrus knew he would be more useful to them alive. It didn’t end up mattering in the end though, Dr. Saleon refused to go into custody and ended up dying anyway.

What was the point of this… he had ended up dead like he had wanted. Why couldn’t he have just killed him at the start before he had a chance to try and run again? He would never forget what Shepard said in response,

Garrus… You can’t predict how people will act. But you can control how you’ll respond. In the end… that’s all that really matters.’  Shepard had been right. Again.

Working with her really had been eye opening for Garrus. Shepard had seen the path he was headed down before he even did… A path not that different from Saren’s actually. In that moments Garrus watched her, he realized what this had all been about. It had been about saving him. Shepard didn’t care about Dr. Saleon. She cared about him. She had been trying to stop him from turning into someone he would hate.

‘I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you, Shepard.’ Garrus had told her that day. He didn’t realize how true that was until now. Until he noticed the way the lights above her illuminated her hair and emerald eyes. Until he noticed how beautiful every little dot was on her nose and cheeks. How beautiful she really was.  

On the docking bay Shepard noticed him watching her. She glanced over and held up one delicate finger, that smile trickled her lips and she mouthed ‘One minute.’  He nodded back at her, mandibles lose against his face. That’s when he noticed Joker standing next to him. How long had he been there…

Joker stood fairly straight but you could see caution in his eyes. You sorta had to live your life cautiously with a disease like the one Joker had. Garrus didn’t know much about the pilot, but he respected him and enjoyed exchanging a good joke or two from time to time. Joker looked from Shepard and then back to Garrus. He had a certain look in his eyes, one that made Garrus feel strange. In the awkwardness of the moment Garrus shifted his wait uncomfortably. The smallest smile slipped the corner of Jokers mouth, but he quickly cleared his throat and coughed into his fist.

“Garrus.” Joker let out still holding back his smile, that look still behind his eyes. He turned and walked away joining Liara, Tali and Presley in the elevator down.

Shepard had finally finished her temporary goodbyes and walked straight up to Garrus.

“So, a turian on shore leave… You come here often?” Shepard smiled and nudged him as they waited for their ride down to C-Sec having just missed the last one.

“Oh yeah… I come here often. Good place to blow off steam. Scenery’s not bad either…” Garrus looked at her for a second then nudged over his shoulder to the Normandy slyly. His voice cooed his usual soft hum mandibles flaring playfully.

Why was everything so much easier when she was with Garrus? She felt like she could handle anything if he was with her. No matter how big or small the mission she could do it if he were by her side. Shepard felt the guilt of taking a break in the middle of all this lift, like a weight off her shoulders. Garrus and Shepard spent the afternoon finding new models, talking about guns and trying different foods on the Citadel. They couldn’t share anything but it was nice to just pretend to be normal for a few hours. They deserved this, didn’t they?

The three day weekend came and went faster than they hoped, and before they knew it they only had one more night before it was back to hunting rogue Spectres and saving the galaxy. So naturally, it was time to party, it was a great excuse to celebrate Joker’s birthday.

The crew met at Flux Night club in the Wards for drinks and one last hurrah before they had to see this mission through. Garrus found himself recalling a conversation he’d had with Shepard when they first met-

This mission won’t be easy. There will be casualties. I won’t insult you by pretending you don’t understand what that means.’ He knew what she had meant then, but it had a new meaning for him now. Was this really it… would this be the last break they’d get. Would they all make it after they found Saren? Would Shepard make it?

Of course she would. She’s Shepard.

Garrus stood at the bar with Joker who wore some kind of paper cone on his head, Tali and one of the Alliance crew members he didn’t know… Alan maybe? He found himself glancing at the door every few minutes. Shepard wasn’t there yet, and he wondered what she had been up to. Garrus hadn’t seen her since the night before and found the anticipation of waiting building. He took a drink of his Dextro Heat Sink, a drink he enjoyed for the obvious play on words. Honestly, it didn’t taste that great.

Scanning the room again for her red hair, for her scent. When he felt a touch on the shoulder he smiled. When he turned however, he wasn’t greeted by Shepard but a female turian. He should have known, he couldn’t smell Shepard anywhere. The female in front of him had softer features than his own and she had deep purple markings down her nose and mouth with two small dashes under either eye on her cheekbones. She was very pretty by turian standards.

“Can I buy you another one of those?” The turian asked sweetly pointing to his drink. Her flanging was soft and smooth. Garrus looked at his almost empty glass and back at the turian.

“Sure, but only if I can buy you one first.” Garrus said back. He had always been charming and good with words, he knew this. If this was his last night on the Citadel he may as well have a little fun right? When she smiled he took this as a yes and asked what she was drinking.

Shepard finally had made her way into Flux. She was running late of course after picking up a brand new Spectre requisition sniper riffle for Garrus. She was nervous for some reason; she didn’t usually give gifts, and this was REALLY expensive. But she had more credits than she knew what to do with, and he really needed a new gun. She felt the pounding of the techno echo through her chest and her palms started to sweat.

What the fuck, you’re Commander Shepard. Keep it together

She scanned the room for her crew, but mostly she as looking for Garrus. When she saw him though, she wished she hadn’t.

Several minutes passed and Garrus took another look around the room. He saw Shepard standing near the entrance of the club looking at them. She had no expression. No indication of what she was thinking or feeling. She just stood there, watching the two of them. Shepard hadn’t moved an inch since she entered Flux a few minutes before. She was too far away and there were far too many people in the club to get a proper read from his visor.

In the minutes before he noticed her though, she had been watching them. The way they interacted. They stood close, and she could tell by the lightness of the turians face that she meant business. She couldn’t tell how Garrus was reacting, but a smile from the female let her know he probably meant business too…

He did mention blowing off steam didn’t he…

Lost in thought she hadn’t realize he had seen her gaze. Shepard felt her stomach drop and she immediately felt sick. She threw him a quick smile, not the real one he was used to… Then turned to joined Liara at a table where she sat with Kaidan.

Garrus noticed the smile Shepard had given him as he watched her walk away. He didn’t know where she had gone, but he instantly felt strange. This wasn’t normal. Why would she give him that look? He found himself staring at the spot his Commander stood moments before. That’s when he noticed the female looking up at him expectantly feeling her arm on his elbow.

“So… I’m Nayla… How about that drink?” She asked again sweetly.

How long had been been off in his own mind? How long had be been standing there silently with this stranger… staring at the empty spot Shepard had been. Garrus forced a smile, trying to relax his mandibles he nodded. In a slow turn, he ordered them both another round. Even with a pretty distraction he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Shepard did her best to push the feeling she had in her stomach to the side. She sat with her back to the bar as not to be tempted to watch Garrus and his date. What did she care if he was finding himself a nice lady to shack up with anyway… She didn’t know why, but all of a sudden she really needed to get drunk. Really drunk. Like, ‘I just stopped 10,000 batarian’s from taking over Elysium’ drunk or maybe ‘I have feelings for my uninterested turian squamate’ drunk…

Of course, Kaidan was eager to cater to Shepard and took the absence of Garrus as a sign that he could. Finally Garrus wasn’t with her, so he could have some alone time. Well… Sorta, Liara was with them. Kaidan didn’t mind Liara though, but it was hard not to notice how awkward she was. Having spent most her time alone working on dig sites really did a number on Liara’s social skills. Surprisingly, despite Shepard having indirectly killed her mother, Liara seemed to be just as infatuated with the Commander as everyone else was.

“Can I get you anything to drink, Shepard?” Kaidan asked a little louder, having realized she couldn’t hear his soft voice over the booming of the music and patrons.

“Yes. Whiskey. Double.” She said. “Can you order me a couple?”

“You sure you want to be getting drunk the day before we head back out, Commander?” Kaidan joked standing.

“That’s exactly why I want to be getting drunk. Plus it’s Joker’s birthday… that’s why we’re even here remember? Buy him one while you’re at it.” Shepard smiled as he walked to the bar. “So, Liara. How are you enjoying yourself?” She tried desperately to distract herself from what she had seen. But no matter what she couldn’t stop thinking about it…What had she even seen though? Nothing. Not really.

Garrus was just standing there talking to a girl. As he should be. He is allowed to talk to females of his OWN species. Why do you even care? He deserves a break… to have fun, or be able to ‘blow off steam’ like everyone else. What is it to you?

When she couldn’t think of anything satisfying to tell herself, she decided it was time to suck it up. Shepard was just being protective because they were such good friends. Yeah, that was it…

When Kaidan returned with an armful of drinks for the 3 of them, she saw Joker lift his new drink in a distant cheer. Shepard returned the gesture downing her whiskey. Biting back the alcohol taste that stung her throat and burned her nose, she reached for the second one and knocked it back. Licking her lips she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, setting the empty glass in front of her. Shepard had seen Kaidan and Liara notice her but didn’t react. The two of them exchanged a look and then began drinking as well.

“Do… you want me to get you another one, Shepard?” Kaidan asked when he saw her staring into the empty glasses she had just lined up evenly.

“I got this one. Are you guys ready? I’m buying. I plan on getting Joker very wasted tonight.” The look they sent her indicated they weren’t ready. How could they be? She was the one trying to drink her feelings away, not them.

“Hopefully not too wasted, we do need him functional.” Kaidan laughed taking a sip trying to catch up.

Kaidan just returned no more than 3 minutes before with their drinks. They nodded anyway, what are they gonna deny the Commander the right to buy them all a round? Plus they at least had 10 minutes with the lines that were at the bar. After another minute Shepard turned and walked up to order them another round of drinks. She could already feel the warmth swimming through her belly and tickling her mind. Shepard walked to the opposite end from Garrus when she approached. He hadn’t noticed her yet, thankfully. She ordered another two whiskey doubles, a beer for Kaidan and a honey mead for Liara. She tried buying Joker another but was told to get in line- everyone’s goal was to get the birthday boy wasted. While she waited for their drinks she couldn’t stop herself from watching Garrus interact with the female turian.

She watched him shift his weight effortlessly, running his taloned hand down his fringe and neck in a elegant stretch. He had a confidence about him; one she always admired. Shepard had noticed in the past the looks he’d gotten- she was aware just how attractive he was to most women, no matter the species. She noticed he way the turian leaned into him and the lightness of her mandibles when she spoke. Shepard wondered what Garrus’ face had looked like… Did he look as happy as that female did?

What do you care?

Realizing the bartender has been speaking to her. When she came back to reality she paid the Volus, grabbed their drinks and began retreating.

Garrus could smell her though and turned just as she did- narrowly missing her eyes. He watched her crimson hair bounce away from the bar as she disappear into the bodies of the club goers.

As the night went on, Shepard drank more. It was safe to say that she was very drunk. She was really drunk. Actually, they had lost count of how many drinks she had over the course of the night. That many double whiskeys could even take the great Commander Shepard down. She sat at the table with Liara and Kaidan, the two of them also fairly drunk at this point in attempts to keep up. Kaidan had been non stop flirting with Shepard and given the circumstances she even flirted back. Hell, Liara even tried in her awkward way.

“I would LOVE to have you in a lab to study, Shepard… You are just so incredible… No.. wait… tha-that’s not what I meant to say… I just meant, with all of your Prothean knowledge due to your contact with the beacon, and the cipher- Oh! Just imagine everything we could learn from each other! Oh… oh no… I am just making this worse aren’t I… I must to apologize…” Liara was rambling taking anxious swigs of her mead.

Shepard didn’t mind though, the rambling was rather adorable honestly and proved a great distraction. They talked and laughed about anything they could that didn’t have to do with Saren, the geth or the Reapers. As the night progressed Shepard even considered taking one of them back to her room with her…

But like all night’s this one was coming to an end. Shepard watched as her crew trickled out one by one making their way back to the Normandy. Both Liara and Kaidan still sat drinking with her. She wondered if they both secretly hoped they’d be the one to go home with her that night… Who would she chose?

Tough choice really. One is obsessed with you because of your connection to the Prothean beacon and the other is obsessed with you because you saved them from the Prothean beacon…

Probably best not to go home with either of them now that she thought about it.

It was getting close to 0200 hours when Garrus finally walked up to their table. Shepard noticed him approaching in her peripheral — he was alone. She swallowed down the rest of her drink, biting her lip shifting in her seat. In that moment she realized she really had been drinking a lot.

Garrus placed a warm taloned hand on her shoulder leaning down besides her. She looked sideways at him still holding her empty glass, her leg shaking restlessly. He didn’t say anything, but held his mandibles close to his face staring into her eyes. With her free hand she pulled it to her mouth and began lightly biting her nail; a nervous habit she hadn’t done in years. Shepard felt his sharp blue gaze still looking at her. She felt a warmth from him run through her. Was this the alcohol or Garrus? No one at the table spoke and Garrus noticed her breath quicken and her heartbeat rising on his visor.

“How nice of you to join us, Garrus.” Shepard smiled, it was almost right…

“Shepard…” He purred so softly that the others at the table couldn’t hear him.

Garrus reached his free hand out placing it over hers and the empty glass, holding them both in place. Kaidan and Liara had been watching them, but neither of them said anything. Desperately trying to eavesdrop. With the hand that rest on her shoulder he slid it closer to her face, brushing the side of her pink cheek with his thumb then tucking her hair behind an ear. It was ever so slight, Kaidan or Liara would for sure have missed it if they hadn’t been searching for it. Shepard swallowed and continued looking at the hand still holding hers around the empty glass.

“Come on. Lets get you out of this dump.” Garrus stood, sliding the empty glass from her delicate fingers; setting it on the table amongst the others.

She still sat looking at it. Everything felt light and somehow in slow motion. He reached a hand out in front of her and after a second she took it. Kaidan and Liara watched not saying a word as they turned and walked out of club. Once out of Flux Shepard remembered the female and spoke before she could stop herself.

“So… Mr. Vakarian…You seemed to be enjoying the ‘scenery’ inside. What happened to your new friend?”

“Spirits. Is that jealousy I hear, Commander Shepard?” Garrus joked looking at her.

“In your dreams, big guy.” She said back giggling and swaying with each step.

With each drunken step she felt herself forgetting about the girl he had been talking to. She was forgetting that this may be her last time on the Citadel. Oddly, all she could think about was how damn bright the Citadel was. Garrus had always rambled on about how it was never dark in there… But there was something about being in fluorescents that late when you were this hammered that made every task just so much harder.

Shepard tried walking upright, she really did. But every so often she would lose her balance and trip. They couldn’t help but laugh. Garrus had been drinking pretty heavily as well that night, but no where near the amount she had been. When her ‘feet stopped working’ Shepard fell down a small flight of stairs. How someone could be so graceful on the battlefield but so clumsy in the real world was beyond Garrus. She sat there at the bottom in a hysterical fit of laugher. Garrus was reminded again of just how beautiful she was, and seeing her there sobered him up just a bit. If she hadn’t been hurt Garrus would have been laughing with her honestly. It was pretty funny how she acted when she had been drinking. He had seen it a few times before on the Normandy, but she had never been THIS drunk.

He knelt down slipping a long arm under her, pulling her close to him. She stood with one arm around his neck, his right arm holding her tightly around the chest at her ribcage. The way his hand felt there… She couldn’t think about that now. They walked slowly side by side, as she limped in unison with his strides; making sure not to put pressure on her hurt ankle. It honestly didn’t even hurt her hardly- a mild sprain at best, but she was having fun pretending that it did.

Their walk was long and peaceful and Garrus could smell her skin. By the time they stood outside the Normandy on the docking bay he had been engulfed in her. It was more intoxicating than anything he drank that night. Her scent was better than anything he had ever smelled. Shepard’s skin was softer than anything he had touched. Before he knew what he was doing, he found himself close to her neck, taking a deep breath of lavender into his lungs. His mouth and nose lowered closer to her neck almost touching her with them. Garrus released his breath besides her ear, running his nose through her hair, tracing her hairline; she felt a wave run through her.

Shepard pushed into him more, turning to face him. She had an urgency about the way she leaned her head into his his cowl, closer to his face. Garrus could feel her shudder in his arms. Taking her free hand she placed it on his neck holding herself close to his mouth letting out a soft sigh. He reached down sliding his hand up her back, pulling her into him. His fingers braided through her hair. She let out a quiet gasp at his touch and he leaned into her neck pulling her even closer. Their faces were almost touching, breath hot and fast.

“Garrus…” Shepard said breathlessly as he felt something primal shift in him.

The way she had said his name made him burn for her, letting a small growl escape his lips. He had lost his composure. As if a switch was flipped they both were sent into a frenzy. She lifted a leg and was met with his hand pulling it onto his hip- pulling her onto him.

Simultaneously he lightly pulled her hair revealing her neck to him as he turned pushing her into the wall. Sliding his taloned hand from her knee to her thigh he helped her other leg wrap around him. Leaning his face into her neck, kissing it, running a blue tongue across it tasting her. Shepard let out a airy moan at his touch. The way he touched her with determination and strength was different than anything she had experienced. His lips were harder than a humans, but they felt amazing trailing her collarbone and shoulders. Garrus didn’t know where his behavior came from, he was just reacting to her. It was instinctual. He somehow just knew how to touch her.

Garrus grabbed her hand sliding it up the wall holding it in place as he moved his face to hers again. They looked at each other for a moment and then she kissed him hard. She never imagined that feeling him like this would feel so right, but it did. With each embrace she could feel the growling in his chest growing, his desire and control slipping. She ached for him.

Shepard lightly caressed his tongue with her own, tasting him. Garrus slid a hand down her arm, down the side of her body ending at her hips. He pulled her into him more as they continued frantically kissing and pushing into each other as if they could never be close enough.

As fast as it started it was over. They heard the elevator arriving and quickly realized where they were. They had been on the docking bay outside of the Normandy almost… almost… could they even? This can’t be normal… He lightly slid her down to the ground careful not to release her completely. Garrus couldn’t bare not feeling her after that. Everything was going to be different now… He felt it.  

“Well, look at you two being creepy and stuff in a dark corner.” Joker let out walking past them with Tali towards the airlock. Tali had been mumbling at a volume they couldn’t understand, clearly she also had a bit too much to drink. Joker looked back at the two standing there in silence. “You guys coming or what?”

Helping Shepard over to the Normandy and when Joker noticed her foot he signed. “Really, Commander? You can’t go a few days without getting yourself hurt?”

“You sure you wanna mess with me? You’re basically made of glass, Joker. I could probably break your bones just by looking at you.” Shepard laughed as the decontamination process started.

Shepard was trying hard not to think about what had just happened. She looked up at Garrus shyly, her eyes were soft and heavy. He smiled down at her holding her tightly enjoying her warmth.

“Wow, you really are drunk aren’t you, Commander?” Joker asked when he saw how hard it was for her to walk straight even with Garrus leading her. “Here I was thinking the mighty Commander Shepard was unstoppable, a god among men— and women… Only to be taken out by a few drinks and a flight of stairs.”

The look she gave him let him know he was done and he put his arms up defensively.

“Alright, alright, I’m going. Sleep tight you two.” Joker said giving Garrus that same look from a few days ago. With a lazy salute he retreated to the cockpit.

Upon entering the doctor took one look at the Commander and Garrus and crossed her arms. The look she gave them was like they were a couple of kids that had just been caught sneaking out. Shepard covered her mouth and attempted to stand up straight. She was holding back a laugh. Shepard knew how obvious it had been that they were wasted but she didn’t want to show it if possible. Somehow though she only seemed to make herself look more guilty.

Shepard let out a long sigh shaking her head. “Doesn’t anyone sleep on this damn ship?”

“You. Med bay. Now, Commander.” Chakwas said with a small smile pointing to the stairs. “Garrus, I’ll need you to accompany us if you would.” Chakwas lead them down the stairs into the Normandy’s Med Bay.

He carefully sat her down on one of the beds. Shepard tucked a hair behind her ear, flinching when the doctor rotated her ankle checking the damage. A minor sprain like they suspected, nothing serious but she’d need to be careful on it for a couple days. FTL was fast, but she should have the time she needed.

“See? I told you. Not that bad. I just missed a few stairs, honestly I’ve had much worse. Remember that time I fell off a 2 story building?” Shepard reached an arm out placing it on Chakwas’ shoulder giving it a light shake.

She had her ankle wrapped for some extra support and Chakwas left Garrus in charge of escorting the Commander back to her quarters. As they approached the door it slid open allowing them to walk in. He walked her over to the bed where she laid down. Seeing her laying reminded him of that time back on Therum. Her hair spread around her like wildfire. She gave him a big pure smile reaching her arm out for him to take. Garrus stood there a moment looking down at his Commanding officer wondering if this was a good idea… Should he be there? They both had been drinking and Shepard seemed really vulnerable.

“Shepard… I…” He stated as he ran a hand over his fringe and down her neck the way she loved.

Shepard sat up at looked up at him. She grabbed a taloned hand in hers pulling him down to her level. Garrus kneeled in front of her looking at his feet. She moved her arm up slowly resting it on the side of his face softly.

“Hey. It’s okay. We don’t…” She stopped, biting her lip. The room was spinning slightly around him.

“I…  don’t want you to think you have to do this. I may be your Commanding Officer but I’m not gonna make you sleep with me.” Shepard let out a laugh removing her hand anxiously. “I’ve been drinking, you’ve been drinking… it’s been a long couple months…” She set her hands in her lap.

“It’s not that, Shepard. I just don’t know if this is the time for… whatever this is.” His voice was soft but his words still stung her and she felt an ache in her chest.

She looked down at her hands laying there limply in her lap. She began to wonder if she had gone too far. In a drunken stupor did she ruin her only true friendship? She never should have drank so much… She never should have kissed him. He probably didn’t even feel the same way about her… And was only reacting the way any man would in that situation. Shepard knew this was a bad idea, knew the possibilities… but that didn’t stop the way she was feeling about him. The way she had been feeling about him.

“I understand. You’re right.” Shepard said clearing her throat. “I don’t know what I was thinking… I’m sorry, Garrus.” She began to feel a little embarrassed and for a moment she wished none of this had happened.

“Jane… That’s not what I meant.” Reaching out a long taloned hand he pulled her chin to face him again.

Leaning closer to her, there was only a few inches between them now. He could see how fast her heart had been beating on his visor, how her body heat was rising. This had been one of the only times he had called her by her first name. She was surprised and in that moment she sobered up a bit. There was something jarring about hearing him purr her name like that. It scared her. It excited her.

He leaned forward resting his forehead against hers.

“Shepard. I… we can’t do this.” Garrus’ voice was soft.

“Why not?” Shep asked lightly closing her eyes.

“It’s just not the time, Shepard…”

She knew he was right. Getting involved further would complicate things. She could hardly believe she wanted him so badly. Being the person to always put duty first, and feelings second. But now, she wanted to say to hell with the rules. They had acted on their impulses and she couldn’t help but think that they already had taken things too far. She knew he was right though. If they did this they couldn’t go back. They already were dangerously close to the point of no return.

She nodded and leaning into him. They sat on the floor of her cabin propped against her bed. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. The silence surrounded them and for the first time in months she fell asleep with ease. For the first time in months she didn’t dream of the beacon.

Ps IM A NOOB SORRY IF AM BAD I TRY ;.; I’m used to writing editorial stuff so this was a fun challenge.

Fic Update: Any Four Walls: Get the Job Done

On AO3

#

Get the Job Done

Though Garrus didn’t recognize the aide who came to fetch Shepard, he did, of course, immediately see the message in the seemingly insignificant flutter of Shepard’s fingers as she vanished through the door behind him: On it. Garrus didn’t need the additional admonition to keep eyes on the hostiles; that went without saying. Always.

The current target wasn’t carrying a gun or toting a grenade launcher, but that didn’t make him any less of a threat. Tavus Ranix had a big mouth and had been doing nothing but using it to spread his strong opinions for weeks. Months, probably. Long enough for rumbles to make it into Garrus’ intelligence briefs halfway across the galaxy. Long enough to put the wheels in motion for the overdue visit to Palaven. Shepard called it killing two birds with one stone. Garrus preferred to think he was taking a minor detour on the way to truly enjoying their family vacation; Ranix and his borderline sedition weren’t worth more time than that.

As soon as the door closed behind Shepard, Ranix said, “And why is she even at this meeting? Answer that, Vakarian. She’s no diplomat, no—”

“Councilor,” Garrus interrupted smoothly, casually, as if Ranix hadn’t just leveled a very real insult—by anyone’s standards, not just the Hierarchy’s—in omitting the honorific. Ranix’s mandibles flicked, betraying his irritation. Garrus fixed Ranix with an unwavering gaze until the man dropped his eyes and shifted in his seat.

Still, defiance colored Ranix’s subharmonics when he spoke again. “She’s human. She has no place in the politics of the Hierarchy.”

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The Party

This is my first ever Mass Effect fan fiction, so please try to not be too hard on me, haha :)

Things to keep in mind:
•This takes place after the Destroy ending, but in this version the non-reaper synthetics survived.
•Shepard survived the Destroy ending, she was picked up by the Normandy and healed at Huerta Memorial.
•Thane is still alive, his story follows the PC Thane Mod’s story where his Kepral’s syndrome was treated and he received a lung transplant. However, Shepard has not seen or been contacted by Thane since the transplant & since Earth.
•The party that takes place in the Citadel DLC is happening now, post-Earth instead of before it.
•This story contains a tiny bit of cursing.


“Shepard?”

She glanced up. She had been standing silently, arms crossed, leaned up against the wall near her desk. Her gaze never left her private terminal, pleading internally that she would see that green light blinking.

“You’re missing the party, Shepard. Come out and join us.” Garrus said.

This party had not been Shepard’s idea, but for some reason several of her friends absolutely insisted on it. Shepard reasoned it must be to get her to socialize after everything she had been through.

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“Ugh!”

Vega glances up from his spot at the table, looking in the direction of the offending noise. Across the room, Sophie Shepard has just fished her N7 hoodie out of the dryer, and is holding it at arms length in front of her, as if it’s diseased.

Vega raises an eyebrow. “Everything cool, Commander?”

She makes another disgusted noise, and chucks her sweater across the room with a level of fury and vitriol he’s only ever seen on the battlefield. It hits the floor with a soft thud as she sinks down onto the couch, a look of defeat written on her features.

“It’s the dryer,” she says sullenly. “I’ve washed this thing a million fucking times, I swear, and no matter what I do it comes out covered in this… this fucking fluff.”

—  From “Fluff”, written for the “Month of Fanfiction” challenge by @joufancyhuh & @yourlocalpriestess; Day 1: Shameless Fluff.

Read the rest on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11679207
BioWare LIs Falling in Love

Thanks @df0wl for allowing me to bounce ideas off of her and helped me write some of it, including Fenris! You’re the best writing buddy ever.


Alistair: Doesn’t realize it right away. It’s like watching the seasons change - at first it’s little changes, then one day you notice the entire landscape is different. Of course he always knew the warden was attractive, but it’s more than that. Alistair finds himself seeking out her company. He enjoys talking to her, learning about her childhood, making her laugh. He can’t help but feel a little jealous when he sees her talking to Zevran instead of him. She makes him happy, even during the darkest times. The feeling dawns on him late one night when he is lying awake in his tent. His thoughts drift to her, as they often did these days, and the words just pop into his head. I love her. Alistair sits up, head spinning, wondering where that just came from. Can it be? His heart beats a little faster, and he realizes that yes, he does love her. And he is oddly comfortable with the thought.

Kaidan: Knows it immediately, almost from the moment he meets Shepard. He doesn’t allow himself to put it into words, though. Not even if it’s just in his own mind. He knows there’s not point in pursuing such things. So, he ignores the butterflies in his stomach whenever Shepard is around. He ignores the way Shepard’s touch leaves a trail of fire on his skin. He pretends it isn’t true. Until the attack, when Shepard is taken away from him, his grief is so strong he has to admit his feelings were more than just professional. Only now there’s nobody to admit it to. 

Fenris: Is afraid. He’s never felt love of any kind before, and the strength of the emotion frightens him greatly. Hawke is, of course, the best thing that has ever happened to him. But am I the best it will ever get for Hawke? Fenris isn’t sure if he can give Hawke everything they deserve. Am I good enough? He can’t say it out loud, he can’t admit this burden. The only thing he can think to do is break up with Hawke. That will protect us both. But when he meets Hawke, the words won’t come. He averts his eyes and wishes he’d never gotten himself into this situation. Hawke knows something is wrong, and takes Fenris by the hand. The feeling of warm fingers wrapped around his own is comforting, and suddenly Fenris is no longer afraid.

Isabela: Denies it for months. She can’t be in love. Absolutely not. Isabela doesn’t just fall in love, because she doesn’t believe it really exists anyway. Love is just a silly word people use to exert power over them. At least, that’s what she believed for years. Now…now she isn’t so sure. She enjoys Hawke’s company, that’s true. They do have fun together. She misses Hawke whenever they are not together. Talking to Hawke is always the highlight of Isabela’s day. Plus, the sex is incredible. So if it’s not love, what is it? Isabela tries to distance herself, to try to straighten out her head. She finds herself completely unable to shut off her feelings as she has always done in the past. Eventually she has to admit it. She loves Hawke. Dammit.

Garrus: He knows he is in love soon after Shepard is brought back, when they spend countless nights together on the Normandy. They talk like old friends who have known each other twenty years. Shepard quickly becomes Garrus’ confidant, someone to lean on in hard times. He tries his best to do the same for her, too. Shepard is, without a doubt, the best thing in his life. Being in love doesn’t frighten Garrus, but he has no idea what to do about it. He doesn’t even know if Shepard feels the same way about him. How do humans usually go about these things? He ends up watching some vids and reading some stuff about humans online to find out how to confess his feelings to Shepard. 

Cullen: Everyone seems to know a secret that Cullen just isn’t aware of. People start giving him knowing smiles whenever they see him with the Inquisitor, winking at him whenever she enters the room. He doesn’t understand why, until one day Dorian fills him in. “It’s in your eyes,” he tells Cullen, “and your smile. That look only means one thing, my friend.” Cullen is shocked for a moment. He’s been in love before, but it didn’t feel anything like this. Last time it was all sweaty palms and fever dreams. Now, he felt happy, warm, and whole. This time was…better. This was real. He was in love, and this time, it would be forever.

Anders: Feels nothing but dread. Love is a messy thing. If you were not careful, love would crush you. He knows this first hand. But he is not only fearful for himself, but for Hawke. He cannot offer Hawke any type of life other than that of an apostate. He is not what Hawke needs or deserves. He cannot allow himself to feel this way, he cannot speak the words aloud to anyone, ever. However, no matter how hard he tries, the feeling never dissipates. It only intensifies over time, and Anders finds himself almost unable to breathe under the weight of it. He loves Hawke so much he can’t stand it. 

Liara: Doesn’t know the difference between love and infatuation. Shepard was incredible, larger than life. Shepard could make anyone fall in love. But she thinks this is different. Her thoughts are with Shepard most of the day, worrying about whether or not this is the time they won’t come back. Liara can’t get past her nerves whenever Shepard is in the room. Her heard is spinning, she feels like she’s falling into a black hole. It’s a pleasant feeling, but at the same time frightening. Her attraction to Shepard isn’t a secret. Everyone knows about it, and Shepard even seems to reciprocate. Liara doesn’t say anything about it for a long time, because she wants to be absolutely sure. 

First Lines Meme

Thanks to @ferociousqueak​ for tagging me to share the first lines of my last ten fics!  

Rain on Distance Shores:  Damp sand crunched under Garrus’ feet, Cipritine’s shoreline spread for miles with endless rocks and tidepools.

Shopping Pains:  The sun stretched down on Eos’ horizon. The Tempest resting on Prodromos for the night cycle, they’ll be heading to the Nexus in the morning.

Rose Quartz & Hematite:  Samantha leaned against bathroom door of the cabin, watching the spectacular sight of the great Commander Shepard scurry frantically around her room.

Initial Thoughts: When Garrus first joined the Normandy crew, Shepard’s initial thoughts on him were brief.  

Garrus-The Goodbyes:  The Normandy was quiet after Hackett left. 

 Anderson-One Last Drink:  When the Normandy first came into view at Arcturus Station, Anderson thought that wasn’t his ship. It was too large, too sleek, and in the wrong colors.

Joshua-Just Another Apathetic User:  A crowd formed amongst the gates of the Vancouver Alliance HQ.

Joker-Dancing Monkey:  Joker pulled the Normandy into the Alliance HQ port.

Elizabeth-Spotter:  It was ten in the morning and Elizabeth Collins had already worked on two whiskeys when the Normandy touched down on Earth.

Hackett-Kangaroo Court:  Kenson dead, an entire system destroyed, and the Hegemony demanding for Shepard’s head.

Tagging: @painterofhorizons, @spinninglenny, and @black-rose4.  Only if you want to!

Kaidan and Shepard looking out over the starts, Shepard’s head resting on Kaidan’s shoulder, his head resting on hers

Shepard getting those silly, stupid butterflies everytime Kaidan enters the room and scalding herself

Kaidan feeling overjoyed when Shepard returns from a mission unharmed, and his cheeks hurting from trying to stop himself smiling

Shepard waking up in the morning with her face buried in Kaidan’s side, and when she inhales his scent, she knows she can handle whatever the galaxy throws at her

Kaidan hugging Shepard, and when he buries his nose in her hair, he squeezes her tightly, but not too tightly

Shepard covering Kaidan with a blanket when he falls asleep in the Starboard Observation Lounge

Kaidan carrying Shepard to bed when she falls asleep at her desk

Shepard straightening Kaidan’s jacket and his hair (much to his dismay) before they go to some silly public event and thinking she’s the luckiest girl alive for gaining such a gorgeous, smart and brilliant man

Kaidan carefully putting on the necklace he bought Shepard, careful not to mess her hair, kissing her shoulder as he tells her she’s beautiful, and even though she blushes and denies it, Kaidan objects because he’ll be damned if he lets such a breath-taking, clever and amazing woman go unnoticed

Kaidan and Shepard holding hands, tentatively, shyly, and looking at each other with grins on their faces and in silence because, wow, they love the other one so much words would not do it justice

Kaidan and Shepard (。◕‿◕。)

things we lost in the fire

(this was requested as part of the angst prompt by thegreatwidesomewhere for “what happened doesn’t change anything” but it was really relevant to something I had headcanoned for my Shepard, so here goes the pain)

Shepard knew from the moment that Miranda told her everything, she’d have to confront Kaidan about it. He deserved to know as much as anyone, but she didn’t know how to talk to him now. He was so far removed from the sweet, loving Lieutenant she’d fallen in love with years before. 

He looked almost the same, his hair a little more grey, and his build slightly stronger. But he still looked like Kaidan. It could have fooled her.

“Shepard,” he said, stepping into her room. 

She felt a knot grow in her stomach. She was now doubting that she could do this. “Hey. I just… I wanted to talk to you about something.”

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Untouchable

The fabulous @purplehawkewtf prompted me with Shepard having indecent thoughts of her lieutenant for the first time. Tee hee. A marvelous idea, if I do say so myself, and I hope you like the result!


“Yeah. Whatever,” Shepard responded with no small amount of frustration before pounding on the console to cut contact. The images of the equally annoyed Council members flickered and vanished. While much of the galaxy would have been appalled by the way she often dared to talk to them, she couldn’t help but think they deserved it. Most of the time, anyway.

There really was no end to their hard-headed reactions to just about everything she reported. She wondered, as she glanced around the now significantly darkened room, why they even bothered to appoint Spectres if they weren’t going to listen or respond to any of the information or evidence found. Somehow, she’d managed to be recruited into an organization even more frustrating than the Alliance.

Lucky her.

The annoyed commander picked up a datapad knowing that, speaking of the Alliance, they were going to want a report, too. She didn’t bother entertaining the idea that they would be any more receptive or reactionary than the Council, but it was part of the job.

As the door slid open for her, Shepard almost didn’t look up in time to see a figure standing on the other side. When she did, she brought herself to an abrupt halt just before impact, not even taking a moment to register just who it was.

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spinninglenny  asked:

Under the sea - Octopus for Garrus / Eliza? (And a thousand internets to you if you can make it fluffy/smutty, because they deserve some happiness)

Octopus - Getting into, or out of, a tight space.

If @spinninglenny asks for fluff, she gets fluff. <3<3

********** 

Garrus liked Hannah Shepard, Garrus respected Hannah Shepard, and a small part of Garrus might even have loved Hannah Shepard, just for loving Shepard as much as she so clearly did. 

Garrus was also terrified of Hannah Shepard, in more ways than he could count, and so when Hannah insisted on taking her girl to lunch – alone – he didn’t put up a single protest, and waved goodbye with a silent sigh of relief as Hannah led Shepard out onto the Presidium. 

Shepard ignored the stares as calmly as she always did, head carried high and her gaze always fixed just beyond the reporters and minor officials trying to step in her way, but Hannah waved and grinned at everyone they passed. Somehow, Garrus thought, that was even more terrifying. Shepard blanking someone was humiliating enough, but Hannah saw everything, and forgot nothing. 

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Curing the Krogan Cold

To any and all of my followers that have/had a cold! Feel better!

Shepard walked into the mess hall the first thing she heard was Wrex’s jubilant shout.

“Shepard!” Wrex snickered after she came into the room

Kaidan shot her a panicky look out of the corner of his eye.

“Shepard.” Kaidan said, his mouth seemed unsure whether or not it should smile, the corners of his mouth twitched but he fought the smile back.

“Uh….what are you two doing?”
Shepard spotted the dark bottles and the shot glasses. “Hey! Wrex aren’t you supposed to be resting to get rid of your cold?” She asked, glaring pointedly at Kaidan. His muscles tensed, fighting back a smile even harder.

“Rest is for the weak!” Wrex smashed his fist down on the table. Startling all of them; Wrex included. “The Major here sure grew a quad in the last few years Shepard! He is a worthy drinking opponent!”

“Is he?” Shepard asked looking at him suspiciously. She knew that he could drink all of the beer wine and lager he wanted and not get sick. But in Shepard’s experience it only took about three shots and Kaidan was under the table.

“Kaidan, why are you encouraging him?! You’re supossed to be the responsible one!”

Wrex chuckled. Kaidan got up with a stumble and grabbed Shepard, pulling her to the side, her face close to his. He smelled slightly minty.

“Kaidan- Wrex doesn’t take this seriously, we need him to finish this mission and to finish this mission he needs rest! What were you thinking? He needs to have our backs in this fight!”

His smile was gentle as she lit into him.

“You’re so beautiful when you’re angry.”

“Kaidan!“she snapped starting daggers at him.

“Shepard,” he said “you wanted him to sleep. He didn’t want to. You wanted him to take his medicine. He didn’t want to. You can’t MAKE him do anything. So I just figured I’d challenge him to a drinking game.”

“Kaidan-”

He held up the bottle; the label ripped off.

“Of a rare proof from earth, called Nyquil.”

Shepard’s words died in her throat. Kaidan’s smug smile grew. Shepard smiled too.

“You haven’t been drinking all of that….have you?”

“I uh….couldn’t avoid the first one. But I’ve been faking them since. Shepard, I’m really tired. I feel like I have a hat on. I’m not wearing a hat am I?”

“How long ago was that?” Shepard asked.

“Half hour.” Kaidan yawned.

Both turned at a thump on the table behind them. Wrex’s face was firmly planted on the table, surrounded by Nyquil coated shot glasses, snoring gently.

“Oh thank God.” Kaidan said letting his knees buckle. Shepard barely caught him before he hit the ground. She smiled at him.

“Thanks for taking one for the team, Major.” She said laughing and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “I love you.”

“I love soup too, Shepard.” He slurred through his grin.

Shepard smiled and hauled him up onto her shoulder. “Come on, Kaidan, how about a nap?”

Garrus Is Pregnant

Summary: Garrus deals with rumors of male pregnancy.

Read it here or below!


“Garrus is pregnant?”

Garrus’ head snapped around at the whispered comment, his jaw dropping open and mandibles flaring in shock. Two female Alliance officers were sitting together across the mess, their heads close as they gossiped quietly. He picked up his fork and tried to act nonchalant; maybe he’d heard wrong? Maybe they’d said someone else’s name that just sounded like his?

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verhexen  asked:

garrus/fem!shep, 3?

“You came back”.

Shepard was tired. Not just tired from lack of sleep (which was definitely a contributing factor) and the constant pain, but she was soul tired. Since they recovered her body from the Citadel’s wreck, she’d been in constant pain, and no visitors had been allowed except for Hackett. The Admiral’s daily barrage of questions had completely exhausted her.

“So there were three-” Shepard stopped listening. She pressed her finger over the call button that she gripped tightly in her hand under the blanket. In an incredibly short amount of time that Shepard was sure could be classed as a world record, Miranda appeared in the doorway of her small recovery room, holding the kit that Shepard recognised as the kit of first aid supplies that Miranda had put together specifically for her. The ex Cerberus agent’s attention landed on the Alliance Admiral standing at her bedside. 

“You’ll have to excuse us, Admiral. Shepard’s dressings need changing. You’re welcome to come back tomorrow.” She said gently, but with a tone of authority that not even Hackett would dare challenge.

“Understood. Thank you, Miss Lawson. I’ll see you tomorrow, Shepard.” Hackett saluted her, and she gave him a weak wave in return. Miranda made her way over to Shepard’s bedside as soon as Hackett closed the door behind him. A small smile pulled at the brunette’s full lips. 

“Had enough for today, Shepard?” She said as she leant over to check Shepard’s monitor. 

“That’s an understatement.” Shepard sighed. Miranda worked in silence; quickly but carefully removing the bandages on her neck and chest, then on her arms, then cleaning the still healing skin with that horrible gel that made her even itchier than she already was, then reapplying new bandages. Shepard never liked to watch; she wasn’t squeamish to blood and injury, but the way her bones showed so prominently under her skin made her feel sick. She’d lost weight as well as muscle mass during her recovery. Every part of her itched to go and do some cardio with Vega, but seeing as Vega wasn’t there and her legs were still in casts, that wasn’t going to be happening any time soon. 

Miranda gave Shepard’s hand a gentle pat when she had finished, and Shepard smiled up at her friend. Miranda grinned mischievously back down at her.

“What? What is it?” Shepard asked as she raised an eyebrow in worry. It wasn’t often that Miranda looked mischievous. 

“Not at all, Shepard. In fact, there’s someone here to see you. I just needed to clean you up first.”

“What?” Shepard furrowed her brows. She hadn’t been allowed visitors, or news of anything going on outside of her room for weeks now. It was driving her absolutely mad, and the thought that she was going to get to see someone other than Miranda or Hackett or various Alliance nurses and doctors made her feel dizzy with hope. She’d be happy to see anyone else, but there was one person that she especially hoped for. 

“I’ll go get him.” Miranda said as she turned on her heel and left the room. Shepard’s heart pounded like a hammer in her chest. 

A few minutes later, and the door slowly opened. Her eyes widened as a familiar form shuffled into the room. 

“Shepard?” Garrus said as his eyes settled on her. He took a cautious step forward as his eyes roamed over the bandages on her arms, and Shepard almost laughed when she caught him looking at the fuzzy stubble on her head. 

“Garrus?” Shepard choked out. She grinned as a tear slid down her cheek. When Hackett refused to give her any updates on the Normandy and it’s crew members, she had automatically assumed the worst. To see Garrus standing just metres away from her after being away from him for so long felt like a dream. 

“Shepard!” Garrus shot straight to her bedside, and fell to his knees as he enveloped her tiny hand in his. He pressed his mouth against her skin to pepper kisses around the IV needle in the back of her palm, and Shepard let out a breathy laugh. She wanted to laugh until she cried (more than she already was, anyway), but her healing ribs would not allow it. 

“You… you came back.” Garrus said as he pulled his mouth away from her hand to look up at her with complete wonder. 

“I always come back. I couldn’t die without telling you I made two more head-shots after you were evaced.” Shepard said as she pulled her chapped lips into the biggest grin she could manage. 

Some Assembly Required, Shakarian, PG-13

Summary: Garrus didn’t mean to break Shepard’s newest ship, but he’ll do anything to fix it for her.

This one is for thekjuniverse, who brought up this idea ages ago. (Sorry it took so long. I got distracted by work and shiny things.)

This is admittedly a huge pile of awkward Garrus and beginning relationship fluff. This week has had horrible news, yes? So yay for fluff!

Rated PG-13 for brief mention of adults having a sexual relationship, though there’s nothing particularly explicit here.

- - -

When he arrived, Shepard was in the shower.

He froze.

He’d planned for many scenarios – all the scenarios, he’d thought – but in all of them Shepard had at least been in the room.

Somehow, one where Shepard simply didn’t appear – in her own quarters, no less – had never entered his mind. That was saying something, given that he’d even come up with preliminary plans for rescuing her in many scenarios. Should a collector suddenly burst through her door, he’d silence them with a headshot; if he couldn’t reach his Mantis, he could reach her Widow. If Cerberus decided they were going to turn on her because she was having sex with a non-human, he’d kill the bastards. First, he’d take out Jacob and Miranda, close up. Then, either hand to hand or with a gun, he and Shepard could clean up the rest. He’d even thought of what he’d do if the Normandy, once again, was lost: make sure she was off the ship and in a damn escape pod this time.

Somehow, this…he hadn’t imagined.

His hands gripped his wine bottle tightly.

What was he supposed to do?

Keep reading

Breathe

“She’s alive.”

Two words had never meant so much.

His boots made such noise against the twisted glass and shrapnel that used to be London, it wa almost louder than his breathing. He stepped into the hospital with trepidation, she was here somewhere.

“Mr. Vakarian?”

He turned to his name, his mandibles shivering against his lower jaw, “What?” He was anxious, and it made him snappish.

The nurse drew back as he righted to his full seven feet, and swallowed, “She’s been asking for you.” She gave a faint smile, “Said you’d be the twitchy turian in blue…?”

He felt tension slip from between his shoulders, and followed the nurse, silently urging her to go *faster* and ‘why weren’t they there yet?’ Impatience warring with his normal level-headed ness.

The nurse, for all his effort to push, moved at a calm, sedate pace that had him shuffling from one foot to the other, waiting for her to guide him. She finally stopped outside a door, on the far side of the hospital, where he was unsure if he’d be able to find his way out.

226.

His mandibles twitched as he stared at the door, and the nurse bowed and disappeared, before he even had a chance to ask any questions. He stared at the number, as if it could tell him all the questions burning in his larynxes.

Finally he reached for the handle and twisted pushing open the door.

He couldn’t believe what he saw, the frail, damaged creature laying in that bed… She didn’t look like anyone he knew. Her face half-covered by bandages, one eye taped with white gauze, barely any fringe on her head, the faint glow of her cybernetics were gone, leaving the thin fissures on her face black and empty. She was thin, he hadn’t even noticed when they were together how thin she’d gotten…

“You gonna stand there and gape like a slack-jawed ensign?” The wounded, rasping sound that came from her was almost jarring, but he pulled his mandibles in, and righted.

“*Shepard*” He said her name like a prayer and was across the room in a heartbeat, clasping her thin fingers in his thick ones, “I-”

“I know.”

It was enough. They fell silent, and Garrus couldn’t stop staring, had to make sure her chest rose and fell. Had to make sure she kept blinking.

She squeezed his hand. He squeezed hers in return, but she hissed softly. He dropped her hand as if she’d been burned and she laughed, that quickly turned into dry, wheezing coughs that she choked on. Machines beeped angrily and two nurses came in, injecting her IV with something and the cough eased, but so did the eagle sharpness in her one good eye.

“Punctured her lung.” The nurse stated seriously.

“What?!”

“Her lung, it was punctured, it’s healing slow, so if she’s not careful, she’ll wind herself, like this.” The nurse placed a breathing mask over Shepard’s… Diane’s, face, “Now you stop teasing him, and stop working yourself up.” The nurse tutted.

Shepard looked sufficiently cowed and she cleared her throat, “Sorry.” Not to the nurse and to Garrus.

Garrus breathed out slowly through his nose, “Don’t… Scare me like that.” He said, sitting at her side again.

She laced her fingers with his, “No promises.” Her voice had a strange echo with the mask on.

He breathed a laugh, but he sobered quickly, “When you ran to the beam… Shepard, I….”

“Shh. It’s over.” She weakly squeezed his hand, “I’m here… Now…” Her eyes fluttered and she took a deep breath. She was asleep in moments and Garrus didn’t move, just kept a quiet vigil, making sure her chest rose and fell in a timely manner.

In a year from now, she’d walk again. (With many 'Be careful’s and 'oh god Shep, not down the… Nevermind’s) And he’d follow down every hiking trail and every embankment she wanted to throw herself from.

In two, she’d have most of her hair. She’d cry because she told him she’d felt so ugly without the red fringe she’d worried she hadn’t looked herself.

In three her cybernetics would be back online, and almost all the scars would be healed. Except the ones that would wake her, screaming, in the night.

In four they’d fight so hard they almost ended it. She just couldn’t go around recklessly anymore, she wasn’t fully healed, dammit. And if only he would quit babying her, she was *fine* and she could *breathe* and *one little mission* wouldn’t hurt, it was even *diplomatic* for hells sake.

In five, they had two children, and that wry, Shepard smile had returned. She was almost herself again, well, that wasn’t true, she’d always been herself, and Garrus loved her, would always love her, and there was nothing that would change about that.

pancakes for shepard

Mornings that Charlie had to go to school, it was usually Kaidan who had to wake her up, knowing that Shepard would just grunt and roll over, pulling another pillow over her head. And he didn’t mind. Shepard would make her way out of bed eventually to get ready for work and send their little one off to school. On weekends, it was usually Charlie that came bounding into their room, demanding to climb onto their bed and snuggle with them until they were ready to wake up.

But today, however, Kaidan was woken up by tiny fingers poking his side, and a soft bounce next to his bed. He popped open an eye and looked at the clock. It was seven, still a little early for any normal Sunday morning. She was a tiny ball of dark curly hair - just like his - with the faintest freckles across her nose, and her mom’s bright green eyes. 

“What’s up?” he asked.

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anonymous asked:

Petrichor/Tarantism Femshep/garrus

A Different Kind of Happy Ending

Summary: Shepard may never walk again, but Garrus shows her that they can still dance.

(Apologies to you, anon - I think you wanted two different drabbles, but the combination idea came to me and wouldn’t let go. I really wanted to write about a disabled Shepard, so I hope you like this double-size story instead.)

- - -

Garrus hates London.

It is cold; strange.

Not just in the architecture, or the food, or even the people. It’s the very geography of the place itself that is strange: there’s water, everywhere he looks, under a sky that is always murky and grey.

The entire city smells like rain, a sweet dust scent that burns his nose whenever he walks to the one dextro restaurant across from the hospital.

Even the wafting fragrance of ocimum, so far from home, doesn’t quite wipe out the sweet-dust smell.

He suspects that this is, in fact, because it rains, all the time.

He watches it pour against her windows, a rat-a-tat-tat that reminds him vaguely of gunfire and makes him anxious.

He gently massages Shepard’s sleeping hand – very lightly, so she won’t awaken – reminding her that he is here, and he will keep her safe.

“It’s raining again, isn’t it?” Shepard whispers.

“Yes.” He doesn’t think he’ll ever quite get used to her new voice – the one he knows burned away when the citadel came crashing down on her. This soft whisper-thin voice is nothing like the booming, brassy Shepard voice of his memories, the one he can remember yelling for him all the way across the Presidium.

A Presidium that no longer exists, he remembers, and his fingers reflexively curl tighter around her own.

It’s a damn miracle she lived through that.

He is so very, very thankful.

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I Need Diverse Games Because...

In a wonderful state of chance, I discovered the Mass Effect series around the same time that Game Informer published an editorial talking about the under-represented gamer. The article covered all of the same topics that are being hashed out under the #INeedDiverseGames hashtag/movement, and it was a beautifully written sentiment that had me step back and think “I don’t ever see a POC lead character in video games, do I?”

So I popped in my Mass Effect 2 (Because I have a Playstation 3, and could not start the series at the beginning – at the time), and went in knowing that I was going to have a beautiful African lead character. I did a little bit of research into the voice actors who played the Male Shep and Fem Shep role, because if I was going to be spending hundreds of hours with this character, I wanted one that would not get on my nerves. When I heard Jennifer Hale deliver the rousing speech near the end of the game on YouTube, and compared it to the fairly stereotypical gravelly male lead, I knew that I was going to have a female lead character.

So already, I have created someone who is almost completely opposite from your typical lead character: an African woman lead. This was beautiful, and refreshing for me to see in a video game. The storyline (generally) is the same for any player or any gender, and it wass this specific fact that made it so powerful: It does not matter if you are a man or a woman, black or white, you can still save the galaxy.

If that was all that Bioware gave me, I would have considered Mass Effect one of the greatest series that I have played. But there was a deeply interpersonal connection with the team members on the ship. Romantic relations are an option for Shepard, and there are many, many options to choose from. Since I started at the second installment, I began with a short “Choose Your Advenure” style comic that got me up to speed with Shepard’s actions from the first game. Here the romantic options for my Fem Shep were Kaidan, the traditional man to Shepard’s woman, and Liara T'soni. Liara, voiced by Ali Hillis, is by all human standards a woman. (She’s actually a race of hermaphroditic aliens that can have children by men or women, which opens up an entirely different conversation that I may touch on later.) In the comic Kaidan was kind of a jerk, so I picked Liara to be Shepard’s love interest. So now we have a black, woman, gay character saving the galaxy and generally being a badass.

If that was all that Bioware gave me, I would have considered Mass Effect one of the greatest series that I have played.

I began playing Mass Effect 2 with the distinct intention of being faithful to Liara, because I wanted to see something completely fresh and original. Something that I had never seen in a video game before: two lead gay characters who balked at the stereotypes that have been handed to us. Unforunately, Liara left Shepard’s crew and was in other parts of the galaxy generally being awesome. Shepard kept a picture of her in her room, and was committed to her, and was everything that a perfect Love should be during times of strain.

And then we picked up Garrus. Garrus is another character from the first game, and is generally the best character I have ever come across in a video game. (That. Voice. Brandon Keener, if you could just send me an MP3 of you reading the dictionary as Garrus, I would be set for life.) In my mind, Shepard was so excited to come across a battle comrade and friend. I spent a lot of time in the middle of some calibrations, and shooting the shit with such a well-designed character. I never conciously steered the conversation in any particular way – I did not want to have a romantic relationship with Garrus. To be completely honest, I saw them as friends who shared a lot of great inside jokes and stories.

Near the middle-end of Mass Effect 2, Shepard runs across Liara again. (Or was that only in Shadow Broker? I honestly do not remember anymore, because I played the entire game and DLC as one continuous loop.) Shepard was elated to be with her love again, and I steered the conversations toward rekindling what I had wanted to dive into since I bought the game. However, in moment of stress and despair, Liara shouts at Shepard, “I know about you and Garrus!”

As a player, I never thought about Shepard and Garrus being together. Not in that way at least. I mean, I brought him on nearly every mission – but that was because he was a crack shot with some history with Shepard. I was shocked, offended. Everything I wanted to be when starting this game: I wanted something that was going to completely rewrite the stereotype of what an epic, science fiction, action story was going to tell me. So I sat back and wrestled with the idea that maybe Shepard was developing feelings for Garrus. If that was so, what did it mean for her relationship with Liara?

There is an extremely touching scene after the Shadow Broker mission where Shepard invites Liara back up to her room. They talk about everything on their mind. Shepard still has feelings for this woman, and as a player, I did not know what was going to happen. (I actually still considered them to be together at this point – though I was suddenly feeling very guilty for what she said about Garrus.) But then the point of actually having sex with Liara came up. And all Liara needed from Shepard was confirmation in her feelings. I was hit with the classic (maybe cliched at this point?) “Me or Him” trope.

And I balked. I realized that the character I was building, and her relationship with Garrus, was taking her in a different direction than what was planned. And that blew my mind. I created such a fluid, realistic relationship in a science fiction epic between two aliens and a human. I literally created something that mirrored my own personal experiences without setting out to do that. In fact, I wanted something so different from who I am that I purposefuly went out of my way to create a character that challenged every aspect about my gender, race, ethnicity.

So do you know why I need diverse games? It’s because in diversity there is unity. In diversity, there is the chance for not just tolerance, but acceptance. In diversity, there is the chance to become in tune with cultures and people who are not one’s own. And, let’s be honest: in diversity, there is the chance to tell more stories than just the same old story done too many times. I do not need to save the damsel and shoot the (usually ethnic) bad guy in the face anymore. Can’t I be saved sometimes? Aren’t I in distress?

And for the record, Shepard and Garrus turned out to be the most satisfying and loving relationship I have ever seen portrayed on screen. To this day, the only cannon in my head is my own playthrough of the game. But your game may be (and probably will be) completely different. That’s the beauty of Mass Effect. You don’t have to prescribe to a single story. Because when has it ever worked that way in real life?