The daedric princes? Gay.
Malacath? Gay orc dad.
Hermaous Mora? Asexual gay. 
Azura? Sun and moon gay.
Sheogorath? Rave party pan.
Boethiah? Strong gay.
Clavicus Vile? Really fucking bi.
Hircine?? Hircine??? Back country gay.
Mephala? Spider lesbian.
Mehrunes Dagon? Protien shake bro pan. 
Meridia? SUPER GAY.
Namira? Aro-Ace slug lover.
Sanguine? Oh boy 
Peryite? Gay. 
Nocturnal? Lesbian.
Vaermina??? Space lesbian.
Everyone is gay. 

tumblr sexymen alignment chart

Lines that made my feels hurt
  • Lucien Lachance: Waiting just outside is a magnificent steed named Shadowmere. She has served me well. I present her now to you, as a token of my trust and love.
  • Martin Septim: Farewell. You've been a good friend, in the short time that I've known you. But now I must go. The Dragon waits.
  • Sheogorath: Optimism! How adorable! I love it! Even at the end, you make me laugh. I'm lying. That wasn't funny at all. No matter. Soon you and everyone else will be dead, and I will be left a mad god, ruler of a dead realm. Again.
  • Everyone in Cheydinhal Sanctuary: Night Mother, I beg your mercy!
  • Astrid: By Sithis, I was such a fool. All of this... it's all my fault. You are the best of us, and I nearly killed you... as I've killed everyone else...
  • Miraak: Do you ever wonder if it hurts? To have one's soul ripped out like that?
  • Paarthurnax: What is better - to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?
  • -----
  • Me: uh Bethesda can u stop playin' w/ my feelings like that? my heart can only hurt this much
  • Bethesda: CAN'T STOP, WON'T STOP!

The Daedric Princes as Tumblr Textposts

Azura: How does one turn their emotions off

Boethiah: stealing is a crime AND drugs is a crime but if you steal drugs the two crimes cancel each other out and it is basically like doing a good

Clavicus Vile: my idiot dog just sprained his tail from wagging it too hard like this is the dumbest thing

Hermaeus Mora:i remember way too many small details about people so i have to act dumb sometimes so i don’t freak them out

Hircine: beauty and the beast but reverse, i kiss the love of my life and she turns into a sick fucking monster and its awesome

Jyggalag: how do people have the energy to do stuff? You know what stuff leads to? More stuff. That’s how they get you

Malacath: - grow up to have children

- hide babies all over the place

- when the kid asks “where do babies come from” respond with “where DONT they come from” and pull one from a cabinet

Mehrunes Dagon: there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me

it’s called the throne

Mephala: reblog if you don’t have a bra on

Meridia: why can’t zombies just like eat bread or something

Molag Bal: Be the villain you were born to be. Stop waiting around for someone to come along and corrupt you. Succumb to the darkness yourself

Namira: cannibalism would solve both overpopulation AND world hunger so I mean

Nocturnal: CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKERS

Peryite: Who would win: all of Europe or a sick rat

Sanguine: keep your friends close, but the people who have a chance of becoming famous closer

Sheogorath: i either dress like im going to a red carpet event or like im a homeless drug addict there is no in between

Vaermina: its funny because people think im quiet

but im just listening to everyone’s conversations

and figuring out your weaknesses