shellentell

On April 1, 1991, a babe was born. Since that day, that babe has grown up to become an idol that not a single girl should look up to. And during this upcoming weekend, we celebrate the gift of life (and possibly death as well) that some crazy god, goddess, or satan has brought to the Earth 21 years ago. We will also be celebrating the gift of alcohol and all things awesome. Everyday someone is celebrating their 21st birthday. And everday Shelley is also celebrating someone else's 21st birthday. But it is not everday that Shelley is celebrating her own 21st birthday.

What she has in store for the weekend, NYC doesn’t know yet. But after the weekend, ShelleNTell will be sure to shelle ‘n tell you all about it, that is, if the madness from the next three days does not result in an apocolypse.

For the time being, let us be reminded of the celebrant’s previous birthday rages.

 

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When Shelley turned 19, her one request was that she and her friends see The Last Song together with Miley Cyrus. So, the girls took her to the theater so they could watch 2010’s comedy of the year. Some girls cried, Shelley laughed and scoffed.

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On their way back from the movie, Shelley went to pick up some cranberry juice so her and her friends could have some drinks back at their apartment. When she got back, she had smiling penises welcoming her into her living room. The girls had surprised Shelley with a penis themed birthday party. As she walked in, she was crowned with a penis headband and handed a drink with a penis straw. That night she got so drunk that she started showing affection and finally gave her best friend since the 6th grade, Amy, the hug that she deserves. It just took some time, alcohol, and a penis party to open up Shelley’s heart.

On her 20th birthday, Shelley and her friends planned to rage at Rubulad but April Fools! - her friends got too drunk and too stupid to find the warehouse to make it there and spent most of the time on the subway to and from Brooklyn. Despite the disappointment, Shelley still had some fun. Before leaving, Shelley was given a very special birthday gift, some MDMA for an exciting night. And although she couldn’t get funky at Rubulad, she was still able to have some fun on the subway even though the night was a total fail and she was surrounded by hateful people.

The next day, Shelley was promised a better night to celebrate her birthday. She and her closest friends hit up Greenhouse for old time’s sake and Shelley’s attachment to traditions. It was a simple yet drunk night but it definitely made up for the previous night.

This year Shelley will have a new reign on her life while it takes a turn onto a path with even more bars, clubs, and warehouses. Wishing you the best of drunk this year, Shelley!