shell of a woman

i can’t believe that they saw a japanese story they wanted to tell so they went “let’s pioneer ridiculously advanced and horrifying expensive cgi technology so we can make this white actress look japanese” and it never occurred to them to just….. hire….. a japanese woman…. like nature’s already done the cgi for you buddy

Castiel’s Last Letter to Dean

Dear Dean,
I was thinking about shells today. I saw a woman with a shirt that had them, and I remembered the beach, and you, and this box. I went back and read through all the letters, and for the first time, in a long time, I wasn’t sad about it – not in the same way.

I’ve been so tired lately. I’m so tired of being angry, and sad, because that wasn’t the point. I’m sad because I’ll never get to tell you certain things again. I’m sad about that, but I’m not sad like I was when you left. I think I held onto that too long. I confused it with loving you, and those aren’t the same. Being sad about the things I miss isn’t loving you. It never was. Loving you was so much bigger than that. .

I don’t think I can stop loving you. I think it’s a part of me now, and it’s never leaving. It makes me who I am, and I used to think this crippled me, but I don’t think it does anymore. Loving you has given you back to me. I’ve missed you. The old you. You never really came home, and I understand that now, and I know it wasn’t your fault or mine or anyone’s. It was just circumstances we couldn’t avoid, but I’ve realized that just because we ended the way we did doesn’t define what we were before.

To have those memories back is such a precious thing. To have that part of you back with me – it’s unimaginable. I was thinking about shells, and I was thinking about that day at the beach and I can remember sitting on the blanket looking at the water, and you asked me what I was thinking.
I was thinking about how afraid I was that I was never going to love you as much as I did then. That the moment was going to get washed out, that I would never be able to experience what it was like to know that I loved you as much as I did again…

I’m sorry that things didn’t work out the way we wanted them to. I’m sorry – I’m sorry we weren’t as equipped to deal with the hand we got. The fact that we didn’t get to do the little plans hurts more than the big ones, sometimes. It wouldn’t have mattered about a house or the island. Sometimes I stop myself at work and realize I’m never going to sit in Van’s noodle house with you, and I don’t know exactly – I’m so terrible at letters, Dean. I’m glad you never had to read them when you were in Vietnam, they were all so terrible and boring and wordy.

I think –

I think that, the point of it all, is that the moment at the beach? I had never really understood who I was until then. That’s who I am. That person, and there, right there, next to me, that was you. That’s who you are.
It’s so wonderful to know that I didn’t lose you. That we were always right where we were supposed to be the whole time. This whole time I thought I’d lost you, and there you were…

Memories are good that way. I can remember us, and I can keep living. I can keep going and always know right where to find you when I miss you.

I miss you all the time.

I want you to realize this someday. All of that about us. You don’t – you don’t have to be guilty, and I know you are, and I understand why everything happened the way it did. It just happened. We just – it just happened, Dean, and it’s alright. I’m alright.

I’ll be okay.

Once, you told me it didn’t seem right to say goodbye. Not really.
I thought I’d have to – I thought I’d have to let go of everything I loved about you, but I don’t, and you were right, and wouldn’t you be pleased with yourself to know.

The truth of it has never been clearer to me, my darling.

And you are, always, my darling.


See you then

I was bored. This happened. Enjoy?

I’m terribly sorry..

Made with SoundCloud
anaxiphilia (pt. 12)

previously, she fell in love with the devil, badboy!yoongi au
genre: this chapter is angst as hell

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I stared at the two individuals sitting in front of me, particularly the woman. Burrowing through my memories, I struggled to compare the girl in front of me to the woman my brother was engaged to. It was merely two years ago that Jihyun was whom every girl envied; beauty brains and in love.

The Jihyun seated in front of me was barely a shell of that woman. Her hair was cut short, bleached blonde and heavily damaged. Her face had sunken in, the restaurants uniform too big on her small frame. The bright eyes that dazzled and charmed everyone had dimmed, revealing that she was empty, an empty shell of the woman she used to be.

Yoongi’s eyes stayed down casted not meeting Jihyun’s or mine. His hands firmly intertwined and folded on the table. Unable to take the silence any longer, I cleared my throat offering my hand to Jihyun.

“We never really officially met, I’m [Y/N]. Seokjin’s younger sister,” I said, a small tight smile present on my lips. Jihyun looked down at my hand and then at me, raising an eyebrow. My eyes drifted between her and Yoongi. I gulped as I felt my chest constrict at the distance between the two.

I really should’ve let him move to sit next to me…

Suddenly Jihyun let out a loud laugh causing my eyes to dart back to her, just in time to catch her shaking her head.

“I didn’t sleep with him,” She said, pointing her thumb at Yoongi. I felt the air rush out of my lungs as relief flooded my system. I retrieved my hand, resting it on top of my lap.

“I didn’t ask-“

“You didn’t have to, your expression clearly screams your hatred for me. It could be because I broke your brother’s heart. But you look like you’re about ready to come over here and rip my head off for sitting next to Yoongi.” Jihyun laughed, crossing her arms. I stared at Yoongi and narrowed my eyes when I noticed the corner of his lips curved into small smirk. His eyes glanced up to meet mine for a brief second before looking away once again attempting to hid the full blown smile that spread across his face. 

“Why couldn’t you have told my brother that?” I said, turning my gaze to meet hers. She stiffed, her smile disappearing from her face. She glanced towards Yoongi and lets out a snicker.

“You’re really a man of your word, aren’t you?” She said incredulously, Yoongi clenched his jaw, his smile disappearing instantaneously, and his grip tightening on his intertwined hands. She stared at him for a moment longer than turned her head to me, her gaze meeting mine steadily.

“I’m a con-artist,” she shrugged, leaning back in her chair.

“A con artist?” I repeated, dubviously.

“A con-artist,” Jihyon voiced back. She leaned forward in her chair and crossed her arms, “Jin was one of my assignments. He’s rich and handsome, almost vain at times. Getting him wrapped around my finger was a piece of cake. It usually is with rich boys that are trained to take over businesses, languages, arts but never experience true affection from a woman.”

“I don’t understand where Yoongi comes in,” I said, furrowing my brows.

“Yoongi was equivalent to the other woman in my relationship with Jin. I needed him out of the picture to get Jin’s complete trust.” Jihyun said, her voice emotionless. 

“However Yoongi is much smarter than he lets on, aren’t you kid?” Jihyun said, punching him in the arm. “He found out about my actual profession and threatened to tell Jin unless I told him myself.”

Jihyun chuckled, “I was already a step ahead of him back then, I had told Jin that Yoongi kept trying to seduce me previously. Jin, of course, didn’t believe his best friend could do that to him. All he needed was some visual evidence, the night my car ‘broke down’ right in front of Yoongi’s house. Jin got the proof he needed.”

“The fact that Yoongi even gave me his clothes to wear that day because mine were wet, was a nice touch-“ Without any self control, I launched myself forward, my hand slapping her cheek hard enough to leave a stinging sensation on my palm. The noise of my slap seemed to echo in the almost empty restaurant. She grinned, reaching up to stroke her own cheek.

“You psychotic bitch,” I spat at her, this seemed to fuel her amusement. She started laughing, obnoxiously loud. I glared at her as she calmed herself down. I felt the chair next to me move backwards and someone settle into it. I glanced over my shoulder to see that it was Yoongi, his large hand engulfed the one I had used to slap Jihyun, my body relaxing as he caressed my hand.

“Ah, it’s been a while since I laughed that hard, thank you.” Jihyun said. I felt the anger return to my system and my fists clenched on their own accord. Yoongi unclenched my fist and intertwined our hands.

“I still don’t understand, what did you achieve from this? Jin broke up with you soon after and look at you, you’re completely ruined.”

“This is the result of a flaw that I didn’t prepare for. Jin broke it off with me because he figured; sooner or later I would go to Yoongi or someone else, he thought he wasn’t good enough for me or for anyone.” Jihyun shrugged.

“So, you broke my brother for a wad of cash that you didn’t even get because you failed,” I seethed, unable to control my anger again.

“Yes,” Jihyun said, meeting my glare steadily. I distinctly remember how affectionately Jin would speak of Jihyun, like she was his most prized possession, how in love he was. It was hard to believe that Jin would break up with her. He loved her too dearly; he even left his best friend for her.. It just wasn’t adding up. As I searched her eyes for answers, I caught a brief hesitation cross Jihyun’s face.

“You’re lying,” I said boldly, Jihyun eyes widened at my unexpected response.

“I’m not-“

“You broke up with him,” I said surprising both Jihyun and myself. Jihyun blink at me, and then lowered her gaze to hands.

“You fell in love with him, didn’t you?” I asked, tighten my grip on Yoongi’s hand. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jihyun said, rising to her feet, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go the restaurant is closed-“

“There you go, you’re running again,” I said, launching myself out of my as Jihyun was about to leave. I grabbed her wrist stopping her escape.

“It doesn’t make sense for Jin to still be angry with Yoongi if he blamed himself for the whole incident. Unless he thinks that you left him for Yoongi when really you broke up with him because you couldn’t take the chance of him finding out your feelings for him had started out as a lie.” Jihyun turned around slowly; her eyes were brimming with tears.

“I just didn’t want to hurt him anymore.” Jihyun said, her entire body trembling as sobs escaped her. I awkwardly put an arm around her small frame, holding her as she cried. Naturally, I felt an hatred towards her for what she had done to my brother but she was equally as broken as Jin. 

“Jihyun, if you thought my brother wouldn’t have forgiven you or taken you back as you were, you really didn’t get to know him properly,” I said, patting her shoulder soothingly.

“I knew he would have. Even when Yoongi came and found me as soon as I left Jin and told me to go back to him, I knew Jin would take me back. But I don’t deserve him, he needs someone better than me,” Jihyun sobbed, shaking her head.

“But he wanted you and when you left he needed you.” I replied.

“You didn’t want to hurt him but leaving him hurt him more than anything else. He lost his fiancée and his best friend, and he’s under the illusion that he lost his fiancée to his best friend.. you truly broke him and yourself.”

“It’s too late now, I’m leaving soon enough,” Jihyun leaned away from me, silencing her sobs. She wiped away her tears and smiled at me. “I should’ve left this place when I had the chance, I just couldn’t leave him completely. Just catching a glimpse of him now and again was good enough for me.” 

“Jihyun… I think you need to see him again,” I spoke. Jihyun shook her head furiously.  

“You have satisfied your selfishness by staying behind and watching him from the shadows for the last few years while Jin mourns your loss… He deserves a proper goodbye. Give him that at least.”

A/N: that took an unexpected turn even for me, lmao. what did you guys think? of it?

Aphrodite Dedication Spell

Historical Background –

Aphrodite is represented as the Greek goddess of love, associated with maturity, adult relationships, romance, sexuality, beauty and the arts. She is the envelopment of sexual union, and has been experienced by men as fascinatingly exotic, a seductress. She can distract a man from his task and direction as a result of her seductive enchantment. Yet, Aphrodite belongs to the category of ‘virgin’ goddess in that she does not suffer at the hand of any man. In ancient accounts, Aphrodite rose up from the foam of the ocean as a naked and fully developed beautiful woman riding on a scallop shell. She is said to be older than time. In Roman mythology, Aphrodite is known as Venus.  

Supplies –

· Different sized candles, Aphrodite loves all shapes and sizes.

· Incense

· Sand/shells

· Maybe a container like a fancy plate to arrange the sand/shells/candles on.

· Offerings – Apples (story of the golden apple), cherries, honey, pears, rosemary, strawberries, tomatoes, roses  

· Bowl for offerings

Timing –

· Full moon, or when you feel most powerful.

Ritual –

· Set up your altar to honor Aphrodite, offerings to the side.

· Caste a Circle.

· In your own words, ask Aphrodite to accept you as the child she never had (possibly write it down). Ask her to guide you on your spiritual path and help you make your magick more powerful. 

· Raise the offerings skyward and chant:

Goddess Aphrodite, I offer all to you, so mote it be.

This post is for my favorite lil witch, glitterycleavage. Love you Em :)
Blessed Yule everyone!!!

“When he pulled the now pale skinned platinum blonde from the chemicals he felt an odd sensation… It wasn’t hatred, it wasn’t irritation. So what could it have been? When she flashed him a grin it hit him, it was much more than he had realized he could feel. It ran deeper in him than his negativity, it was more consuming than his hatred. This woman was not who she once was, she was someone else. Someone more like him, someone he could relate to. And it was all his own doing, he knew that. He’d cracked the shell of the Harleen he’d once known and unleashed something else. The woman he held in his arms now was his creation, and for this, he was proud.”

Joker X Harley Week: Day 1- Pride

A Mother’s Wish // Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Reader’s relationship with Spencer after his mother’s passing.

“She’s gone, Spencer.”

Things would be okay. That’s what you had to believe. It was an idea you clung onto so desperately as you watched Spencer retreat deeper into himself. You could see the way he instantly drew away from his team, from his friends. You only prayed you would be the exception.

“Stay with me, Spencer. Please.”

He tried. You could see him struggle to remain with the world. To stay above the water, to remain human when all he wanted was to be filled with anger and sadness and hunt the monster that had torn his mother away. But the monster had killed himself along with her, and so he was left heartbroken and empty. He was left a shell of himself as the woman who had raised him, who had never stopped being proud of him, had been torn away from his grasp.

“I want to stay, Y/N. I want you here. Please don’t leave.”

He’d sob into you, his arms wrapping around you so tightly he could crush your bones and you let him because you knew how much he needed to feel your body against his. He needed to be reassured that you were still there and weren’t disappearing any time soon.

He saw her in your eyes when you looked at him with that same adoration. You saw her in his eyes when he looked at you, begging you to not leave her son alone in his time of need.

“Spencer,” your voice was soft as he laid on your lap, his tousled brown hair covering his face as he cried silently. His head turned slightly to look at you through bloodshot eyes. “I adore you.”

His eyes watered even more at your words as he turned and pressed his face into your stomach, his arms wrapping around your waist. And he shook with tremors of sadness as he remembered the last conversation he had had with his mother.

“She’s a wonderful girl,” she said with a small smile on her face as they both looked at your sleeping body on the small couch that sat against the wall of her room. Spencer nodded, knowing how exhausted you had been after the trip to visit her for the first time .

“I love her,” Spencer replied softly. His mother opened up her arms to him and he nestled into her side as if he were a child again. She lovingly stroked his back as both continued to watch your peaceful figure.

“She has my blessing. Anyone with that much love for my son is more than worthy of you.”

“I think I’m going to marry her.”

He watched as a broad smile spread across her face. She nodded, kissing the top of his head with adoration.

“I hope you do.”

“I love you so much,” Spencer sobbed as he shook into you. You cradled him into your arms, rocking back and forth in an attempt to soothe him. His arms only held tighter as his eyes continued to pour.

You were everything to him. You had become his strength in his time of need and he only ever saw himself, his true self- not the broken man he was, whenever he looked at you. You were his warmth, his love, his salvation when all he wanted was to fade away into nothing. You were the light that kept him going. The reason he even opened his eyes in the morning.

Your arms were comfort and you were his home. Slowly the sadness inside of him began to dull. Each passing day he felt himself regain his normal sense of self with your help. He felt himself slowly return to the man you had fallen in love with but he knew that even at his worst, you had loved him all the same. You showed it with every loving kiss, with every longing hug, with the way your lips caressed his skin in a way so gentle and intimate that it would make the angels cry at the sheer beauty of it.

He would marry you. He would wake up one day and feel slightly less broken after your love helped to heal his wounds, and he would ask for your hand in marriage. It was what he wanted more than anything, and he knew it was what his mother would have wished for.

All a mother ever wants for their child is happiness, and you were always his, no matter how dark times got.
The Casualties of Women's War on Body Hair

The regular removal of body hair is ubiquitous: More than 99 percent of American women voluntarily get rid of their hair. It’s also expensive. The American woman who shaves will spend more than $10,000 over the course of her life, and the woman who waxes will shell out more than $23,000. These habits cut across race, ethnicity, and region. They are also relatively recent.

The campaign against body hair on women originates in Darwin’s 1871 book Descent of Man, explains Herzig. Men of science obsessed over racial differences in hair type and growth (among other aspects of physical appearance), and as the press popularized these findings, the broader American public latched on. Darwin’s evolutionary theory transformed body hair into a question of competitive selection—so much so that hairiness was deeply pathologized. “Rooted in traditions of comparative racial anatomy, evolutionary thought solidified hair’s associations with ‘primitive’ ancestry and an atavistic return to earlier, ‘less developed’ forms,” Herzig writes. Post-Descent, hairiness became an issue of fitness.

An important distinction in this evolutionary framework was that men were supposed to be hairy, and women were not. Scientists surmised that a clear distinction between the masculine and the feminine indicated “higher anthropological development” in a race. So, hairiness in women became indicative of deviance, and researchers set out to prove it. Herzig tells the story of an 1893 study of 271 cases of insanity in white women, which found that insane women had excessive facial hair more frequently than the sane. Their hairs were also “thicker and stiffer,” more closely resembling those of the “inferior races.” Havelock Ellis, the scholar of human sexuality, claimed that this type of hair growth in women was “linked to criminal violence, strong sexual instincts … [and] exceptional ‘animal vigor.’”

Today, women still engage in risky, time-consuming, and skin-damaging practices to rid our bodies of hair. Laser hair removal can cause severe burns, blistering, and scarring. Waxing is painful and unsanitary. Bleaching can irritate and discolor your skin. And there’s a whole Reddit thread for what to do if you burn your vagina with Nair. These products are largely unregulated, as most cosmetics tend to be.

Hair removal, at its core, is a form of gendered social control. It’s not a coincidence that the pressure for women to modify their body hair has risen in tandem with their liberties, Herzig argues. She writes that the effect of this hairlessness norm is to “produce feelings of inadequacy and vulnerability, the sense that women’s bodies are problematic the way they naturally are.”

And yet, if you ask many women why they voluntarily shave or wax, they might say that it’s a method of self-enhancement. That they want to, it’s a personal choice, and they just feel better when everything is smooth. Hair removal as self-care might be one of the biggest lies women have bought into. It keeps us in an impossible loop, one in which we are constantly in pursuit of velvety limbs and the moral virtue of cleanliness.

I think Beatrice, from Much Ado About Nothing, is the Great Hope of Shakespeare’s female characters even though she ceases speaking after they publicly declare their love for one another because you know if Benedict ever fucks up she will tear him apart.

You know what movie trend is SO boring? White people in Asian spaces.

Matt Damon in that damn Great Wall movie? BORING.

Originally posted by missfantasy-vm

Eggs Cucumbermelon and Tilda Swinton in Doctor Strange? BORING.

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

Scarlett Johansson in Ghost in the Shell? BORING. Actually DOUBLE BORING because she’s not the only woman in the world who can be casted as a kickass actress in an action movie.

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

The most boring thing on the planet!! 

And white people as Egyptians is the second most boring. I won’t get myself started.

Originally posted by supernatasha