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the_wobbly_fossiler A great day in good company spent on the beach at Charmouth, Dorset. This Promicroceras ammonite was just one of the fossils found, but was one of the most striking and surprising. There was only a worn edge showing on this tiny beach-rolled fragment of a ‘Woodstone’ (particular limestone nodular bed within the surrounding cliffs); a clip with the hammer quickly revealed the ammonite virtually filled the piece! Some beautiful colours in this one and another reason to keep your eyes open for even the seemingly small and insignificant bits of stone. You may end up with something a little unexpected… ☺️ Approximately 195 million years old.

Humans Are Weird (Pregnancy and Babies)

“Humans are weird” post! What if all aliens actually hatch from eggs and our planet is the only one in the universe that has mammals on it. For an alien, the shell of their egg is a bit like their birth certificate because it’s the proof that they were born, so it’s extremely important for them. To study the development of certain species, they sometimes have to ask some specimen of that species to show them their shell. But then, they visit Earth and meet humans…

Alien: Good morning Human-Nate. I am Xers, an eggshell specialist. In order to study your species development, I need you to show me the shell of the egg that you hatched from. Don’t worry, I am a professional. I can guarantee that you will have it back in the same state as it was when you entrusted it to me.
Human: hummmm, I’m sorry but I don’t have any eggshell to show you…..
Alien: Could it be that you lost it? If so, please excuse me for my previous request. I am sorry if you thought that it was a rude of me.
Human: Don’t apologize, it’s fine! *nervous hand gesture* I didn’t lose it or anything. It’s just that I never had one in the first place. Humans do not hatch from eggs.
Alien: W-what? They don’t?! Then how?
Human: Well, to put it short, the baby grows inside of the mother’s uterus for 9 months and then, when they are ready, they just…come out…by another part of the the mother’s reproductive system.
Alien: Directly from the uterus? With no shell or protection?! Baby humans actually SURVIVE this?!
Human: Yup, and I am the living proof! *laughs*
Alien: …..what the hell is wrong with your species.

To learn more about what humans call “pregnancy”, Xers went to see a pregnant woman and asked her questions about the singular gestation process of “mammals”. After a few minutes, the woman chuckled softly and put a hand on her round belly.

Alien: *worried* Human-Kate, are you alright?
Human: It’s nothing. I just felt a small kick from her. *chuckles*
Alien:….Did your growing organism just ATTACK YOU?!

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IT’S A TORTIE BEACH PARTY!!! And you thought your summer was awesome… you got nothing on these shells! 

(Via @bob.the.tort on Instagram)

psst,

hey, kid. you look like a discerning young customer person.

you wanna learn some cool facts about animals?

I think you dooooo. c’mon back here into this completely unsuspicious alley for some absolutely legal dealings.

meet the Conch (pronounced kONK, because why not), a large marine sea snail found throughout the Caribbean. you can probably recognize them from their shells:

found in every beach-themed restaurant and etsy store on the globe

the actual animal is a foot-long snail with a habit of peeking out at the world in the manner of a man who wants to sell you the full set of counterfeit ginsu knives hidden in his trenchcoat.

available cheap, this week only!

unfortunately for the snail, their shifty ways and general gross snail-ness are no match for the fact that they are completely fucking delicious.

wait, what

prized in the Caribbean for it’s lustrous shell and delicious delicious meats,  the Conch is now threatened in most of its natural range.

look buddy, are you gonna buy these watches or what?

thankfully, some protections are now in place for nature’s scalpers. it is our genuine hope that they continue to hawk dubious goods at humanity for decades to come.

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Apparently this is the correct way to pick up a snapping turtle without injuring it (not the case for every turtle)