Me: Okay. I still have 30 minutes to sleep. I shouldn’t let my mind wander. I should focus on trying to sleep. How do I do that? Should I try counting sheep?
My mind: Wow, imagine: What if sheep weren’t discrete, but continuous? Or maybe the sheep are discrete, but only on very small scales, and they appear continuous over large scales: quantum sheep, if you will. You could have a fluid of sheep confined in a finite volume that you could integrate—
Jim visited 221B, he was tired from a long day of plotting and ruling over the sheep brained people. The first bed Jim found was much too soft. Jim knew it was Mrs. Hudson’s which just wasn’t right! The next bed he found was too hard and terrible. It was John’s bed, and Jim got up immediately disgusted by filth.
And finally, Jim found one bed was juuuussst perfect and it smelt just like Sherlock. This bed was right and so he slept all through the night. Bless.
Sherlock, tucked in next to Jim as he read:
...Jim... this literally just happened.
Haha I did it! Finished it before vore day was over, take that writer’s block!!!!
As winter approached, the nights grew longer and he could feel the pull of the long winter-sleep tugging at his bones. But he had to be sustained through the long night—a dragon could live off life-energy, an adaptation that had allowed them to survive when the humans hunted them and forced them up the mountain. A safe-pouch where prey—or hatchlings, if necessary—could be held, until the dragon could find something with more substance to eat. That way there would always be enough for the last remaining dragons to survive.
I finally dissected a sheep brain and I got to wear a cool lab coat and black gloves and cut stuff with a scalpel and say things such as like “I have identified the occipital lobe” it was so cool I love brains I love science and we got to look at a human brain in a jar but NO TOUCHING!!
Southland Tales 2049 (2017): I saw the Ryan Gosling-Harrison Ford robot movie. I’d seen the first one a half-dozen or a dozen times when I was a teenager, off Channel 19, at least, but it’s nothing I’ve revisited as an adult. So I was pretty lost watching this in places because… I just kept thinking, “Wasn’t Blade Runner about robots??? Are these characters robots? Who is a robot and who isn’t a robot?? Wait– are ANY of them robots?”
It’s based on a Philip K. Dick book called “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, and 13 Other Brain Teasers for Rambunctious Teens” that they used to sell at the front counters of Barnes and Nobles. And I always thought androids = robots….? Like, androids are a kind of robots. Right? The robots in this movie, they act like robots– they’re all strong like robots– they seem pretty good at math and bad at feelings like a buncha Rain Man-y-ass robots (iko iko wan dey)– they have fake memories like robots would have– people are all angry about them because they’re like “fuck you robots”, classic anti-robot sentiments #Trump’s America– but then all of the sudden in this movie they’re dying in some very not-robot ways! None of the robots get AIDS or anything, but to my mind, they just don’t die like robots. And according to the friend I was with, none of them are robots! And they were just like a buncha Captain Americas, or some shit this entire time…?? What happened to the robots??? Were they ever robots?
I have no idea what blade running is even about anymore, it turns out! They try to explain it in the first 30 seconds, but instead of having some cool title card, there’s like “Okay, there are robots, but also because of starvation following a global climate collapse there was a corporate merger, but it was just one of those mergers where a company buys their rivals’ assets instead of the company itself but leaves the rival entity intact and as a debt-ridden empty shell in order to oppress creditors, triggering various lawsuits alleging fraudulent conveyances, also nobody’s a robot, fuck you.” I haven’t seen the first one since I was 17!
Anyways, it’s directed by Denis Villeneuve, the Stupid Man’s Frank Miller, so it’s all very portentous and heavy on quality production design (and gorgeous thanks to my man Roger Deakins, who I hope wins all the awards, forever), but fundamentally stupid, stupid all day, stupid for miles. The plot at its core doesn’t really work (the “Triggering Incident” of the movie makes no sense once the Explanation for the Movie is given), and setting aside the plot, the basic story’s about twice as stupid as I’d expect from Vilaneuve (dig this: a cop on the edge finally decides to take the law in his own hands after they come after his girl!!! “It’s asking important questions about what man is”– people on the internet, for serious). He just makes his movies super-long and super-slow to create this illusion that something deep is happening, but what’s happening? Dumb-dumb shit.
The first one was very straightforward and lean– there are some robots, and then Harrison Ford’s gotta fuck ‘em up. This one, it’s just Ryan Gosling rambling around, and then when he’s not rambling around, there’s all these scenes where he’s dating a hologram that’s into being a cuck…??? But when you’re not watching all these scenes of Goose and cuckbot exploring their relationship, the fundamental mystery was all a little TOO earth-shattering – like, it wasn’t just an A-to-B movie because they went just so, so big with it all. So, after 3 hours of nothing much happening, SLOWLY, they end the movie with nothing much resolved, so they can set up a half dozen sequels because the story’s too big for this one…? And it’s just all another example of how people keep gambling on franchises instead of movies. I got no rooting interest in franchises; I just want to see a movie.
But this one’s all slow just so you can watch Jared Leton ramble melodramatic nonsense while doing his O-Face while talking about robots (in a very cool office), or at least a half hour of Ryan Gosling staring blankly at a camera. I like the Goose but after the Nice Guys, that guy can do comedy, he can do character bits– having him just stare blankly at a camera just isn’t as interesting as it was the first dozen movies he did it in. But everyone in the movie is the best actor in the movie because Robin Wright is the 50 worst actors in the movie. If I had to list the 50 worst actors in the movie, I’d list her 50 times, before bothering with anyone else. You can tell she’s been hanging out with Kevin Spacey– they’ve been sharing notes on how to do the acting. She is terrible, plus they hand her a character with no comprehensible character motivation, so she just yells “the plot of this movie is very important” over and over again, in increasingly melodramatic ways. Overacting a nonsense character? Hoo-boy. Bad combo. All the actresses who were hot for Goose’s robo-dick were okay, at least, though– I liked the cuckbot, or the dom-bot, or the ho’-bot. Deep movie– deep director– what’s your favorite Frank Miller comic? Frank Miller’s Robocop vs. Terminator is massively underrated.
Nice to see the Syd Mead designs again, though. Though this time, without any Asian people who were in the first one, anywhere to be seen! All the Asian people in the first Blade Runner fucked off to the Tannhauser Gates inbetween the fist movie and the second movie, where they were never heard from again (iko iko wan dey). There’s a good scene of Han Solo and Goose doing robot-shit in a casino that’s pretty decent, I liked when cuckbot had a robo-threesome with Goose, and you see a hologram’s titties at one point, which I thought was pretty deep and said a lot thematically (e.g. “men get boners for hologram titties… for it is the NATURE OF MAN”), but besides that stuff… I mean, I’m just not the audience for this guy, man! It would just take a lot at this point for me to be on board the Villaneuve train with the rest of y’all. I just think he’s a dumb-dumb, that thinking has really calcified with me, so when I watch his movies, I’m just like “oh that’s cute, you’re trying to think deep thoughts, dumb-dumb”, the way “normal people” do with Michael Bay or whoever that I’m more into. I’m not giving him the benefit of the doubt…
Thoughts on Downton Abbey Series Finale: The fandom’s worst fear has come to pass, Thomas Barrow is forever trapped at Downton Abbey and his full potential will never be realized.
Disclaimer: I apologize for mistakes or incoherency ahead time. It took a lot of wine to get through that Christmas Special.
I cannot believe I am about to say this but, Jessica Fellowes was right and deep down I knew. To the Thomas Barrow fandom, Jessica Fellowes, the niece of writer and creator Julian Fellowes, is no stranger neither is she a friend. The comments she has plagued Twitter with have been ignorant, to say the least, toward Thomas Barrow the only homosexual character in the series. In the book, Downton Abbey, A Celebration Jessica Fellowes writes that Thomas Barrow’s happy ending is the realization and the acceptance that being a servant at Downton Abbey is as high as he will ever rise. When I first read this, I was completely in denial. After mulling it over it my mind, I realized that as Julian Fellowes niece she would be privy to confidential information about the series, including, how it ends. Nepotism is no stranger to the privileged and Jessica Fellowes has made the most of her’s by building her career on the back of her successful uncle. So why would she not use some of that information in her books? But the real question is this: Why did I believe Thomas Barrow would be allowed to have a future beyond service? Why did I believe Barrow would be allowed to be his own master?
The answer is simple: Julian Fellowes wanted me too. In the trailer for the Downton Abbey Christmas SpeciaI, I was relieved when I saw that Thomas Barrow would be leaving service. My relief soon turned to despair. It turns out, it was all ruse. After Thomas leaves to go work at his new job, which is conveniently close by, Carson is diagnosed with an illness that causes trembles and prevents him from performing basic tasks like pouring drinks. Conveniently, Barrow is in the room, as guest to Edith and Bertie’s wedding. and offers to help Carson. Robert comes up with the impromptu decision to let Carson retire and let the footman he trained, Thomas Barrow, be the new butler of Downton Abbey.
That’s right, the fandom”s worst fear has come to pass: Thomas Barrow is forever trapped at Downton Abbey and his full potential will never be realized. It made me angry but, it also made me wonder: What the hell was all that character development for if he was going to remain at Downton Abbey all along?
He is intelligent.
He is resourceful.
He is ambitious.
He is rebellious.
He has excellent leadership and organizational skills.
He has always despised and challenged the aristocracy and the concept of servitude.
He is and has been the victim of a culture which oppresses and persecutes members of the LGBT. Barrow has hinted and admitted on numerous occasions that he was abused by his family and community growing up and there’s no doubt in my mind that a lot of this abuse was physical.
And most importantly, he has been looking for a way out since day one.
All of these things suggested that Barrow would eventually find a way to become his own master and move toward a freer future, a future he would be the master of his own life. Alas, things did not go that way. These past three seasons have been all about putting Barrow in a cage or to quote one DA fan:
“Poor Thomas, looks like the past six years have basically been about how he develops Stockholm Syndrome and falls for his upper-class captors.”
Julian Fellowes built Barrow up so that he could tear him down. Why, you might ask? Again, it all goes back to Jessica Fellowes. When Jessica Fellowes said Barrow’s happiness comes from accepting his position as a servant what she really meant was this: Barrow needed to learn his place.
Barrow was a whipping boy for Julian Fellowes. He was there for Julian Fellowes to show the audience, the lower classes, that you cannot beat us.
That if you challenge the aristocracy you will lose.
You will be beaten and you will be destroyed.
And once you have been destroyed you will have two options: Join or die.
Thomas Barrow couldn’t beat the system so he succumbed to it’s oppressive rules and joined it.
But, what bothers me the most is that people will agree with Julian Fellowes. They will stand by his side like brain-washed sheep and testify that Thomas Barrow got what he deserved. And that, is the most terrifying thought of all.
BARROW DESERVED BETTER!
@mrbarrow Thank you, for validating my feelings this season by getting mad as hell. This post is for you.
could you maybe write a drabble or maybe someday a fanfiction about after httyd 3 the children of the gang discovering the secret but beautiful hideout of the dragons that desappeared incluiding the alpha toothless and the daughter of hiccup recognizing him but all the other dragons being wary of the human intruders? thanks!
could you write a drabble or fanfiction about (years after httyd 3) the gangs children discovering the secret hideout of the disappeard dragons and their alpha? thanks!
Thanks exceedingly for the request!!! I’ve finally got some inspiration for what to write, so here it is. I’d like to polish this into something a bit more exciting and intriguing later, so I’ll keep you tuned! Thank you so much for your request and for your patience.
Crazily enough, an idea somewhat like this has actually been forming in my head already for months, though in a different time period with a later generation. So maybe someday I’ll actually get to making this longer and calling it by the title “Great-Grandfather’s Dragons.” I’ll let you know if that longer fic ever happens.
But this version of the story, in a little unpolished drabble, is just with the children of Hiccup, Astrid, Ruffnut, Eret, Fishlegs, Snotlout, and Gustav. Hope it works for you. Thank YOU for the rest and have a wonderful day. <3
They never knew to whence the dragons had gone. Never had any idea to where they disappeared. Not even a direction. Not north. South. East. West. Near or far, off the edge of the map, close to the Barbaric Archipelago… they never knew. Not even the Great Chief Hiccup Haddock the Third knew. Or so legend said. When the dragons vanished, they vanished… entirely.
Of course. That was the entire intention: to vanish. In order to protect the dragons, every single human being had had to let the creatures go to resettle in the wild, leaving Viking civilization behind completely.
Yet while the dragons physically departed Berk, they never departed the Hooligan’s minds. The Vikings of Berk continued to commemorate the species. Wood-carved dragon heads guarded doorways; banners of Scauldrons and Thunderdrums lined the Great Hall; and stories were told.
"Nothing screams of weakness like the constant announcement that you are strong."
First, the Madam held her index finger up in a gesture for a moment of reprieve. In the meanwhile her second hand coaxed her glass of water to her smugly grinning lips, hiding her lower half whilst taking a swift sip from the beverage at hand and letting forth a long, obnoxious sigh of relief: “Awhhh! My, my… That hits the spot.”
Setting the cup aside would she perk up, her smile still true and eyes narrowing upon the darkest corners of which this spew of pettiness has been spat from.
“Nothing screams pathetic like the need to harass, either, dear shadow,” with a casual lift of her shoulders she’d then gesture with a wave of dismissal, scoffing, “Sit the fuck down, bitch. If you won’t lead the way I will. If you don’t like how I lead? Go find another herd to linger in, you sheep brained fuck. I am strong. Cause it isn’t a weak woman who could pull a failing brothel out of the rubble and make it into the sensation that it is currently. So fuck you,” she lifts her middle finger, “And fuck off.”
Pointing her middle finger toward the door, she’d offer a pretty smile now, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
a sheep brain! the one on the right is the full brain and that fatty end you see on the top is where the eyes would go. the other end is your brain stem with the cerebrum attached! The left picture is after you take off the Dura Mater (blue film on top) and break the Corpus Callosum! We have 4 different kinds of Dura Mater on our brain and it serves as a protective cushion for our brain so it doesn’t knock around everywhere during intensity!