sheena's-life

This is my spazzy ecstatic ball of sunshine boyfriend. I’m not sure if it was a good decision but I decided to let you go. It just felt right at the moment when I was looking at you. I should’ve followed my head.

During the chilly weather, you’ve always provided extra warmth. Now whenever the wind gently blows, it reminds me of your absence. Whenever I look at the mirror, I feel the emptiness.  It’s you that I long for, but you’re gone.

I hate it that I made that hasty decision. But that’s how things are. You’ll regret some things, you move on. I’m sorry. Even though I’m sure you don’t feel anything, I miss you…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

my long hair. My 1000th post by the way :)

If I could tell my 18-year old self only one thing, I would tell her to wait. I would tell her not to give her heart away too soon, or too often. I would tell her that there’s no need to hurry, no need to worry. God has something amazing planned and all He needs you to do is to trust in His timing!

And in a way, this is also my advice to you, whether you’re 18 or 28. If the Lord asks you to wait, wait. Wait on Him. Wait for His best. Wait on the one he has planned for you. Wait and I promise you won’t regret it. Wait and He promises that it will be worth it.

My husband is one my life’s greatest blessings; he is more than I could have ever asked for. Sure, we have fights and we get annoyed at each other sometimes, but he is my partner, my lover, my travel buddy and my best friend. In my world, no one can ever come close to him. He’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me. In other words, he is God’s best for me. :)

God is never early and never late. He is always on time. So wait. And by waiting I mean, wait prayerfully and expectantly. Don’t give your heart right away to the next guy that comes along and don’t waste your time obsessing over why you’re still single! There is a season for everything (see Ecclesiastes) so make the most out of each season of your life.

The time will come when God will say it’s time to love, and when that time comes, you’ll be happy you saved yourself physically and emotionally only for your God’s Best. :)

External image

The drawing is based on this photo, taken during our Engagement Party last June 2011!

Hi everyone! Thank you for all the well wishes on our recent engagement. A lot of people have been sending me messages asking for details about our love story and about my boyfriend (now fiancé!) because I hardly talk about us here on my Tumblr. It’s not that I don’t want to share, it’s just that everything is so overwhelming, I don’t know where to begin.

Our story is a story we didn’t write. God made everything work out and we can both attest to that. Everything from our meeting, to the time we got to know each other, to the time he stated his intentions to court me and even up to the proposal, everything was just God steering us to the right direction, quite literally! God always made a way and God always changed our plans, but it was all for the best because the story He wrote for us is so much more than we could have ever dreamed of. It was all His perfect timing, and not ours, and until now, I still stand in awe of Him for everything that He’s doing in our lives.

I know what I just said was so vague, but if I get into the details, it will take us forever. I would love to share with you our story, but maybe not today. Actually, Mor’s been asking me to make a cute picture/story book about it, and maybe I will, so I guess you’ll have to watch out and wait for that! Hee!

I just wanted to write this post to thank everyone who’s been sending their congratulations and at the same time, hopefully, encourage you to wait on God’s best and to trust Him in all His plans. Remember, waiting doesn’t mean, not doing anything. Waiting is doing His will while you wait on His promises. Truly if you just follow Him with all your heart, let go and let God, everything will unfold beautifully.

Put things in perspective.

Sometimes, when a little something doesn’t go the way we want it to, it ruins everything. When what is petty start to affect what is important, it’s time to put things into perspective.

Write a list. And not just your usual list of blessings (thank you for my life, my family, my friends). Instead, write a list of “Things I got that are more than I ever asked for or imagined.” My boyfriend always says that God gives us more than we ever asked for or imagined and sometimes we just don’t realize it. So I wrote my list. And I found out that he’s absolutely right. Try it.

WHAT IF JESUS DIDN’T COME?

Have you ever wondered; what would life be like if Jesus didn’t come? No Christmas, that’s for sure! But what would that mean to you? And what would that mean to me?

If Jesus didn’t come, there would be no “Sheena Loves Sunsets”; no products with Bible verses from me (because there would be no Bible!) and no Bible verse drawings posted on my Tumblr. In fact, If Jesus didn’t come, there would be no “Sheena Loves Sunsets” in Tumblr because the friend who convinced me to start a Tumblr was also, a friend from church (Hi, Isa, a.k.a. themorninglight!)

If Jesus didn’t come, I wouldn’t have met the most amazing people I’ve met in my life because I met a lot of them in CCF (the church I attend). I wouldn’t have met people who I could count on during tough times and I wouldn’t have known what it was like to have a group of people praying for you. If Jesus didn’t come, I wouldn’t have started a Bible study with 3 of my closest friends and we wouldn’t have experienced the joy and sense of fulfillment seeing people grow in their faith through the group. If Jesus didn’t come, I wouldn’t have joined a Holy Land Bible Study tour and would have missed out on such a life-changing trip.

If Jesus didn’t come, I would most certainly not be getting married next year. In fact, I would most definitely not have met my fiance because first of all, the friend who introduced us was a friend of mine from church. And even if by “chance” (because there is no Jesus) we would have met, I would probably be a crazy, immature, insecure, proud and selfish girlfriend and we would’ve broken up already just a few months after.

If Jesus didn’t come, I would be prouder than I am now, more selfish, more unkind. I would probably not be a very good daughter, not a good sister and not a good friend. I would probably lie a lot, cheat, steal, curse and be rude. I would find no meaning and purpose in my life which could lead me to become cynical and angry at the world. Maybe I would smile, but deep inside I would hurt. There would be no purpose to everything I would be doing and I would know it… and yet, I wouldn’t know how to fix it.

But Jesus did come! And in coming, He changed my life! I am still not perfect and my life is far from perfect, but I can only imagine how different things would be if Jesus didn’t choose to come in this world to save me.

So this Christmas, may we all remember the true reason for this season. May we be glad and joyful not only because we are with family and friends, not only because we can take a break and not only because we can enjoy the gifts and the good food. May we celebrate, and I mean really celebrate (!) because Jesus came and when He did, He changed everything. This Christmas, may we love because He first loved us.

Happy Birthday, Jesus! Thank you for coming. You didn’t have to, but you did. ♥

Presenting our Wedding On-Site Video by Mayad Studios!

Before I leave for our honeymoon (!!!) allow me to share with you our wedding video! Yay! I know a lot of you have been waiting for more wedding posts (my inbox is full of you guys asking me when I’m posting the videos haha!) and I’m so sorry this took a while! Been busy (what’s new?!) now with house-fixing and honeymoon planning!

Anyway, for the first time (right?), you guys get to see how my husband is like in real life; crazy, funny and such a silly-nilly, like me! Hehe! :) Only two things, we said, that we wanted our wedding to be: it has to be FUN (no sad crying!) and it has to glorify God! I pray we were able to accomplish that. :)

I cannot wait to share with you guys another video which our close friends made for us; it’s our prenup vid! I’m still trying to have it resized though. That one’s my favorite! So much fun to make and really captures me and Mor. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself again! It’s coming soon… hopefully! Haha!

I’m very happy with our wedding video! What do you think? :)

Officially Sheena Sy-Gonzales now! ♥

It’s been almost a week since I got hitched! Still feels a bit surreal sometimes to have a husband and to have my own house to manage but it’s been so much fun. Still on a wedding-high; been watching our beautifully created on-site video over and over again! Haha! (And I’m so excited to see our complete photos!)

I can’t wait to share with you all the details of our big day. My husband and I really prayed so much for God to be glorified in our wedding and we really hope we succeeded in that. God has blessed me and my husband so much and we’re just so excited to share with everyone how much He has blessed us!

So consider this a teaser post! More detailed posts to follow when things start to get less hectic for us. Thank you for all the greetings! We’re very blessed to have so many well-wishers!

Next thing to prepare for: our honeymoon! Can you guess where we’re going? Heehee! :)

Two days after our wedding day, we toured our Indonesian friends (who came over just for our wedding!) to Corregidor. Kind of late, but I just wanted to share my favorite photo! We didn’t want to wear matching colors (we hate matching!) but I really wanted to wear my yellow shirt that day and he really wanted to wear his yellow polo shirt that day as well so… no compromise! Haha!

Can’t believe I’ve been a wife for a month already. My friends keep telling me it’s so hard to believe, and I must admit, sometimes, I find it hard to believe as well! But whenever people ask me how it has been so far, the first thing I blurt out is “it’s been so much fun!” and by God’s grace, that’s really how I feel (after all, the Bible does say that “…from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks!”)

You might say, it’s only been a month so of course it’s been fun, but if you only knew! Haha! Nothing is perfect and we encounter (and continue to encounter) different challenges each day, but it’s such a comfort to know that at the end of it all, though we are fighting battles, we are fighting them together. We are on the same team and we report only to One, and that’s Jesus. :)

If I could leave all you beautiful girls with only one piece of (love) advice, it would be this; to let Him write your love story. Let Him write it without you manipulating the situation, without you hanging on to a past love, without you refusing and disobeying. When He says let go, let go. When He says wait, just wait. I know letting go is hard (especially for all you romantics, like me!) and I know waiting is even harder (especially for all you impatient girls, like me too!) but I promise you, truly, if God asks you to wait, He will make sure the wait will be worth it.

Trust me, you want a man who’s fighting battles not only for you but also for God. You want someone on the right side… on God’s side. Because we know when the King of Kings is on our side, who can ever be against us? :) (Romans 8:31)

Thank you to everyone who sent their wishes yesterday! ♥

While the rest of the world was celebrating Harry Potter’s birthday, my family was celebrating mine! No choice! Haha! I turned 23 yesterday, everyone! “Only 23?!” or “Already 23?!” depends on your perspective! As long as there are people older than me, I think I’ll forever think I’m young! Heehee!

The Lord has been so faithful to me and each year, He’s been surprising me with so many things. No need for birthday wishes. I am so blessed in so many ways and I have no right to complain about anything. Life is wonderful, the world is wonderful and my Creator is wonderful. He is faithful, He will always be and I will always cling to His promises.

Happy Christmas Eve, everyone! Too bad it doesn’t snow here!

Leaving tomorrow for Winter Wonderland, so I’m currently doing my last minute packing! Eeep! Going back to my hometown! Annyeonghaseyo! Haha! Kidding about the hometown part. It’s just that I always get asked “Are you Korean?” wherever I go that I started joking around that I am. Heehee. (If we get wi-fi, I’ll be tweeting! So add me up on Twitter!)

I’m so excited to go back to South Korea (2nd time!) because I’m sure it would be super beautiful! It’s gonna be our first winter experience ever so that’s exciting (I’ve been to snowy places, but never during winter season itself) but I’m also a bit anxious because of the current political situation there. Please pray for our safety and for traveling mercies.

But despite all the fun and food and family and friends, may you all remember the true reason for this season, and that is to celebrate the birth of our Savior! All glory, honor and praise to our awesome God alone!

How do you even say goodbye to someone you’ve known your entire life? Someone you’ve shared everything with; secrets, stories, jokes, clothes…

To say that my mom and I were close is an understatement. She was the first one I would tell all my stories to; the one I could talk to about anything. She was my favorite shopping buddy; the one who would tell me if this outfit looks good or not.

My mom was an amazing woman and I know everyone who knew her would attest to that. But she was more than amazing to me. She was the sister I never had and my best friend since forever. She was beautiful, hip and glamorous but also kind, selfless and loving.

More than anything right now, I wish I could watch one more Downton Abbey episode with her or have one more shopping spree together. I wish I could hear her tell me one more time that I need to buy more shoes or to see her buy me another cute dress because she swears she’s seen the one I’m wearing millions of times already.

But I know that my mom is happier now where she is because a week before she passed, she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior (and there’s a beautiful story behind that, which I will share in my next post.) I am just in awe and I guess all I can say is, God is indeed faithful all the time.

Sometimes I still wonder what it would be like if she had lived for a few more years. But I trust in God’s perfect timing. Passing away at only 50, I couldn’t help but feel that she deserved to live longer, but I dare not question God. I don’t understand it now, but I know someday, I’ll understand. My mom lived a wonderful, happy life. She enjoyed the world with a loving husband and her three children. But now she’s with the Lord in heaven, and I’m sure nothing here on earth can beat that.

I miss you mom, and I know I will miss you everyday. But I’m happy for you because I know you’re happier now; no more pain, no more chemo, and finally, you can eat anything!

I cannot wait to see you in heaven. I have so many stories to tell you and I know you have a lot of stories for me too. :)

Last post on my Tumblr as a single.

Just wanted to keep a record of this moment forever. Haha! I’m so freaking out; excited, scared, jittery, nostalgic and all other possible emotions all at the same time! Please pray for me and my fiance (soon husband!) and for our wedding! Pray for us and I promise I’ll post some pictures even though he’s super anti-spotlight! Hahaha!

Will be back to updating (I hope) after I settle down! Thanks for all your advance greetings on my Twitter! You guys are the sweetest! :)

In which I express my deep love for the Narnia Chronicles

Hello. This is my huge book of Narnia. It contains all 7 books from the series. I’ve had it for years but up until now I haven’t finished it yet. Last December 31, I started reading it in chronological order. As of today, I am on the middle of the third book, “The Horse and His Boy” and it is my goal to finish the entire set soon. I am loving it so much.

I wish people today still wrote the way CS Lewis did. Simple, but very witty. CS Lewis will always be one of my favorite writers. Oh, and of course, the pretty illustrations in the book help a lot too. Very charming.

Sometimes, I imagine that heaven will be something like Narnia, or at least the New Earth that the Bible speaks of (See the Book of Revelations). Maybe it will be, maybe it won’t. Regardless, I just think it’s fun to imagine these things. And to add something on the same note, it’s also really interesting to take notice of the different Christian parallelisms in the series. Quite enjoyable.

I can’t wait to finish all seven books. I’m pretty sure I will love them. Oh, and when I have kids, they will be very, very acquainted with the stories. I will make sure of it.

Don't Pray for My Mom

My mom grew up believing in Jesus, but along the way, she got influenced into another direction. For years, I have been praying for her salvation (and for the rest of my family’s) but I admit that there are times when it looked impossible. Still I didn’t lose hope because God promised me Acts 16:31 “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved–you and your household.”

And truly, nothing is impossible with God! A week before my mom passed away, she finally accepted Jesus back into her heart. She only had a week left in this world, but she spent it praying and talking about Jesus.

But one of my greatest comforts was that on the night she accepted Jesus, she had a dream. This was her dream:

She was standing in a room with my dad, happily fixing the bed sheets together. Then she looked at the walls and the walls were all full of stars! She exclaimed that she’s never seen a room as beautiful as this.

Then in a short while she saw us all there with her and we were all talking to each other at the balcony of the beautiful room. She even said that in the dream, she thought to herself how nice it was that even Mor, her son-in-law, was there helping her fix the room.

John 14:2 says “In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.” How amazing is that? Maybe God was showing her a glimpse of one of her rooms in heaven. Maybe! I can’t wait to visit that room when I get there. :)

She only had a week here with Jesus, but now she’s with Him for eternity. I’m sure of this, not because she was good in this lifetime (although she was), but because she BELIEVED in the One who saves. Because contrary to popular belief, we don’t get to go to heaven because we’re good; we get to go despite being sinners because Jesus died to take our place. (See Ephesians 2:8-9) All we need to do is believe. And my mom did.

John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

So don’t pray for my mom. She’s already in heaven with Jesus. I’m sure. She’s happier there than we’ll ever be here. Don’t pray for her because prayers won’t bring her to heaven. Only Jesus can do that and Jesus already did.

If you can spare a prayer however, pray instead for my family. It’s hard to lose someone you’ve loved for forever. Honestly, at this point, we’re still trying to adjust not seeing her or hearing her voice. We miss her and we will miss her every single day. But we take comfort in knowing that we’ll see her again. And we can’t wait for the day when we’ll all be reunited again in heaven. :)