sheeeeiiiiit

An AU in which Levi is a game show host and he sincerely hates his job but it pays the bills; he’s not a smiley person, he hates forcing a smile in front of a crowd of idiots craving any form of entertainment, and it brings forth the question of how he got the job in the first place, which revolves around underlying connections in the showbiz industry in Vegas (maybe Levi’s father is a mafia boss, who knows) and the fact he was a college dropout and sucks at life because fuck it.

During one of the nights, contestant Eren Jaeger is winning by a long shot. Levi occasionally gets geniuses like these on the show and doesn’t care, only feels bad for the poor suckers - the other contestants, maybe Sasha and Jean - who didn’t sign up to deal with Eren’s shit. One question he reads, Eren answers incorrectly, and Levi tells him he got it wrong, but Eren is adamant and insists he’s right and it turns into a full-out argument along the lines of “THE NOTECARD SAYS C” and “WELL, SCIENCE SAYS B”

It continues for a good chunk of the show’s runtime and Levi can’t believe this shitbag isn’t getting the hint that he’s wrong; he’s unable to continue with the show because Eren’s making too much of a scene, and he threatens to call security but he doesn’t because this shit has never happened before, what even then his producer comes in and is like, “Haha, Hanji [the question/answer writer and a smartypants] got it wrong, the kid’s right, our bad, who would’ve thought, haha” and Levi IS ABOUT TO LOSE HIS FUCKING SHIT OVER EREN’S SMUG GRIN.

AND THE ASSHOLE JUST KEEPS COMING BACK EVERY NIGHT TO COMPETE AS THE PREVIOUS WINNER AND HE’S RACKIN’ IN DOUGH AND DISRESPECTING LEVI AND HE IS SO SICK OF HIS SHEEEEIIIIIT and then Eren’s smugness and Levi’s frustration maybe turns into something sexual, who knows.

So Eren’s somehow the next seemingly dumb kid turned genius - or it’s discovered Armin has been giving all of the answers to Eren via secret earphone in a desperate attempt to get some cash that they needed so badly, they lost sight of their morals, and shit hits the fan.

Or maybe it’s not Ereri to begin with. Maybe the host is Erwin, the contestant is Armin.

Maybe it’s Winmin.

Additional fun: Hanji writes the questions for the quiz/game show as just mentioned, and sensing the underlying sexual tension between Levi and Eren, writes one of his notecards as “What’s your number?” and Levi reads it and genuinely stares at it for a good few seconds in confusion whereas Eren doesn’t take the hint at all or didn’t hear it entirely correctly and answers, “Number one,” and Hanji’s devious efforts to get them flirting on public television are in vain.

Spin-off plot: Levi’s a host for some reality TV show like Big Brother and he’s constantly trying not to murder the cast over their stupidity and die because of the shitty tea he’s given before every set.