she's-not-that-hot

Wynonna Masters the Skill of Hitting on Nicole for Waverly:
  • *Scene at end of 2x07 where Nicole, Waverly, and Wynonna have kidnapped Jonas the revenant and are talking to him*
  • Waverly: "Keep talking to my sister like that and she'll send you to a certain special place that's as hot as the inside of a volcano!"
  • Wynonna: *To Jonas* "Sorry, she meant to say 'as hot as my girlfriend'." *Winks at Waverly and Nicole*
  • Waverly: "Did you just...indirectly hit on Nicole for me by talking to a revenant?"
  • Wynonna: "Yup." *Pulls put homemade Professional Wayhaught Shipper license*
  • Nicole (who's still a bit drunk): "I mean I am Haught, literally. Get it? Cuz H-a-u-g-h-t sounds the same as h-o-t? Wow I think I'm the first one to notice that! That's really cool!"
  • Waverly: "...Wynonna...just how much alcohol did you make my girlfriend consume?"
if spiderman: homecoming was every teen movie ever

Hi! My name’s Peter. And I’m…not like those other teens. Oh no, I’m not genetically normal, I don’t have parents, and I don’t take Spanish quizzes I’m just…Peter. *Liz enters* and that’s Liz. She is sooo hot! How does one describe the hotness of the great Liz? She’s like if you combined Zendaya with Emma Stone. But, I’m…just Peter and this is my story. *dirty little secret plays in the background*

  • Plagg and Tikki: both of our Chosen are both in love each other but are very dense. Cute but dense.
  • Pollen: well mine doesn't realize she likes girls and has a tiny internal crisis every time she sees one she thinks is hot. what about you trixx?
  • Trixx: she's a hot ass mess of a lesbian and tbh as a god of chaos and tricks this is literally everything I've ever wanted. Also Pollen what is your chosen doing next weekend? I'm asking for a friend.

anonymous asked:

can you write a fanfic that betty is uncomfortable jughead is smoking so she is trying to stop him

I’m gonna twist this again!
****

“Betty, are you sure about this? I mean it’s highly addictive and what if you… what if you like it?” Archie held the packet of marlboros in his hands, he’d snuck them from his fathers work bag and he was beginning to regret his decision in helping Betty with her plan.

“Oh please Archiekins, Betty’s stronger than that. I for one think this is a great idea. It’s a nasty, dangerous habit and there’s nothing Jughead won’t do to keep Betty safe. Not to mention I can’t wait to see his face.” Veronica was practically wiggling in excitement as she held out a hot pink lighter towards Her best friend.

She was right, smoking was nasty and dangerous, exactly why Betty had to do this. Jughead was causing more trouble to his health than he knew and his lips had recently started tasting more bitter than Betty preferred. Pulling the stick to her lips Betty inhaled, instantly ripping it from her mouth and coughing.

“Ew! This is disgusting! Who enjoys this?!” The beautiful blonde stared at the cigarette in disgust.

Archie chuckled swinging an arm around Veronica’s shoulder
“Keep on puffing, you have about five minutes to learn, were almost at Pops.”

By the time they had reached the neon lit Sign, Betty was inhaling like a pro, minus the grimace on her face.

“There he is! Look” Veronica clapped a hand to Betty’s shoulder, sure enough Jughead was sitting outside Pops surrounded by a few of the other younger Serpents and their motorcycles. “Okay so all you have to do is make sure to. Have his attention then pop one of those cigarettes in your mouth.”

Betty took a deep breathe as she sauntered past her boyfriend and his friends, instantly he noticed her, shoving the leather jacket boys to the side and moving to make his way to her.

Okay go time.

Veronica and Archie both leaned against the building pretending to have a conversation, Betty shoved the cigarette on her mouth and took a deep inhale nearly choking but keeping her cool.

Suddenly a hand was in front of her face, batting the cigarette from her mouth, wide blue eyes and mouth set in a firm line

“What the hell are you doing?!” He stubbed the lit cigarette out with the toe of his boot, his eyes searching hers frantically.

“Well hi Juggie, it’s good to see you too.”

Jughead gripped her hand, tugging her away from the prying eyes of the serpents and their friends.

“What are you doing?! What is this?”
He gestured to the cardboard box of cigarettes in his girlfriends hands.

Betty looked up at him through her lashes
“They’re cigarettes, I’ve been smoking for a little bit now. They help with the stress. You get it.”

Jughead once again knocked Betty’s hands, sending the carton flying and spilling its contents onto the floor.

“No absolutely not. Don’t you know what these things will do to you. You’re so beautiful, you’re gorgeous, these things? They’ll ruin you. Not to mention the health concerns, your lungs Betty! Your voice! Who’s going to sing me to sleep when you can’t even speak because the cigarettes have wrecked your lungs?! I love you too much to let these things destroy you. You know you have me! You know if you’re stressed you can talk to me! I’m always here baby. You don’t need those stupid cancer sticks.” He was practically shaking as he clutched her hands on his.

Betty went on her tippytoes and smiled adoringly as she dropped a slow kiss to his lips.
“It was my first cigarette Juggie. I don’t smoke, I’m not going to smoke. I just wanted you to see how it feels, everything you said? That’s how I feel about you, that’s how you smoking makes me feel. I love you and I want you to be around for a very long time.”

Jugheads head snapped up in shock before his shoulders slumped in relief.
“Betty..” he started

Betty kissed him again, this time more passionately
“Plus, I love how you taste without all that ash and smoke.” She whispered low on his ear.

The dark haired boy tightened his grip on his girlfriends waist as he shivered involuntarily
“I’ll try okay? I’ll try I promise.”

Betty smiled pulling away
“That’s all I ask, now come on my vice is milkshakes. Care to help an addict?”

Jughead loved his fingers through hers and rolled his eyes, dropping a kiss to her forehead.

“You got it Juliet.”

can I get the uhhhh Boneless™ homestuck lesbians

High school au: Kanaya is the super quiet Indian girl in an all white school that no one rlly pays attention to bc they think she’s shy but Rose moves to school and at first Kanaya goes from “finally someone else who isn’t white” to “holy shit she’s really hot” and Rose hears the snarky shit she says under breath like the time some shit ass white boy asked her what day it was and Kanaya accidentally said “time is an illusion you fuck” and Rose snorted and it was love at first fuckin sight

Cashier au: Rose is visiting her brother in the middle of buttfuck nowhere Texas so she gets a part time job at the nearby Dollar General and Kanaya comes in like everyday and feels super awkward about it bc Rose sees her coming in everyday and how the fuck is she supposed to explain why she’s there literally 50000 times a week buying useless shit and Kanaya always feels the need to explain herself “haha..ha,,,uhh,, back again hah,,just needed some ughhhmmm. You know. Uhhh” Rose just checks her out and bags her shit without batting an eye and “I get off at 7”

Barista au: Kanaya works at Starbucks during the dreaded holiday season and doesn’t fucking celebrate Christmas so she always says happy holidays or happy candlenights when she’s feeling particularly ornery and Rose is in line for her fucking straight up black coffee behind some trick ass white lady with a dog in her purse who throws a fit bc Kanaya refuses to say merry christlmistle and it’s!!! The war on Christmas is never ending!!! Everyone celebrates chcristma s this is aMerica?? And Kanaya’s eye is twitching but she has to smile and nod until Rose steps up, grabs her raw coffee, says “I’m Jewish u nasty thot”, then slips Kanaya her number like the ostentatious over dramatic lesbian she is

College Party au: Kanaya is the upperclassmen girl under the flashing lights looking like a literal otherworldly goth goddess and Rose is having heart palpitations because she has a huge lesbian crush on this chick who probably wouldn’t even give her freshmen ass the time of dAy until she sees some drunk frat douche hitting on her and she swoops in and says something lame like “I see some eldritch fuckin terrors in ur future if u don’t step the fuck off literal piece of white bread” then turns to Kanaya and stutters out a hello meanwhile Kanaya is choking because a girl is actually talking to her?? what thef uck

the thing is that if there was a straight male character in a scene with a scantily clad woman there’s no way gotham could have resisted doing one cheap shot where he is like WOW she’s hot and half naked oKAY ANYWAY– so like what i’m saying is, oswald should’ve checked out freeze in that scene where they met and he was shirtless

Matt is always a thousand times cuter when he’s half asleep:

Matt: I think you have the pillow I use.
Me: oh, well, you can have it back???
Matt: no, no, you deserve only the best.

Matt: I would still kiss you…
Me: what? Still kiss me if what?
Matt: if your face was covered in snot.

Matt: I’m sorry.
Me: eh? For what?
Matt: I’m too tired for sex.
Me: I didn’t even say anything.
Matt: yeah but I love you.
Me: go to sleep you moron.
Matt: I do wanna touch you, I swear.
Me: we don’t have to do it every day.
Matt: I know but… Damn.
Me: eh? What now?
Matt: *mumbling* she’s so hot.
Matt: *mumbling again* I love her.

Matt: I don’t want you to see me sweaty.
Me: I don’t care if you’re sweaty.
Matt: good because I wanna snuggle.

Matt: you’re so tiny.
Me: uh, yes. Thanks.
Matt: it’s so cute.
Me: that… Okay.
Matt: but not here *grabs boob*
Me: not there, no.
Matt: wow, my wife is so soft…zzZZzzz
Me: *kicks him out of bed for snoring*

LOS SIGNOS COMO CANCIONES DE 5SOS:

(Basado en estereotipos)

Aries: Social casuality

Tauro: Try hard

Geminis: She’s kinda hot

Cancer: Amnesia

Leo: She looks so perfect

Virgo: 

LIbra:

Escorpio: English love affair

sagitario: good girls

capricornio: disconnected

acuario: don’t stop

Piscis : Beside you

my straight friend just said there is “nothing standout” about katie mcgrath and that she’s “not really hot” and lemme tell you this bitch SNAPPED

I knew a girl whose strategy for coming out as bi was making sure everyone saw that her lock screen was a Megan fox bikini pic and waiting for someone to question it so she could be like “bc she’s HOT”

Maybe

A little something something for you, @hansaera <3

I hope I got Athelas’ personality right! >.<


Athelas Lavellan stood in the snow, arms crossed, overlooking Haven from her spot above the frozen pond. There was still so much activity going on in the small village. People were coming and going, still heading up the trail towards the destroyed Conclave to bring down the bodies of those who’d been slain by demons. Athelas exhaled sharply, watching the vapor in the air, before bringing her left hand up to gaze at it. It was still crackling green with magic, burning in her palm, though not as much as before.

She felt a rumble in her stomach and she frowned in response. She was beginning to grow rather hungry and she could see the tavern from where she was, knowing that there was hot and ready food within its walls, but so were so many people. She didn’t want to just willingly put herself in there with the rest of them. This was the only place in the vicinity where she could be left alone in peace. Maybe she could just go hunting for herself. Then again, if she were gone too long, there would probably be a big fuss raised. She clenched and unclenched her left hand, trying to will the minor discomfort away.

Thinking about tomorrow slightly irked her. She would be leaving for the Hinterlands, though it was nearly like she was being ordered to do so. Athelas wasn’t stupid, she understood the situation she was in and why she needed to do it, but it still got under her skin. She hadn’t asked for anything like this to happen to her. She was just supposed to sneak in, see how the Conclave went, get information, and bring it back to Keeper Deshanna, easy enough. Now she was stuck here with some strange…thing in her hand and away from the only person that had supported her and listened to her. Looking down in Haven and thinking about the people that would swarm around her if she walked back racked her nerves to the point where she turned around and began walking.

A hunt was sounding nice after all.

She wandered through the snow, weaving through trees, looking for signs of tracks. She knew that there were at least plenty of rabbits nearby, so she could at least make due with those. She was more than happy to fall back into something comforting, something she’d done for the majority of her life as an escape. Her mood improved significantly as she found tracks and began following after them. Eyes studying the ground hard, a small smirk came to her lips. She suddenly felt more elated than she had in several days, since everything happened.

Athelas was nearing her prey. She prepared herself, moving as silently as she could manage in the ankle-deep snow. There! She spotted it not far away, just up the slope a little. However, she then caught sight of something behind it. Her heart skipped a beat, probably feeling much like the rabbit in that instant. The small critter’s ears darted up and it dashed off, flying through the snow. Close behind it followed the blur of a wolf. Once it jumped up in the air and she heard a squeak, Athelas knew it had caught the rabbit. She was spinning around, looking for the rest of its pack, but she saw nothing. No other tracks, no growling, nothing.

She spun back around, keeping her eyes glued on the wolf as it picked up the rabbit in its mouth. As it began to leave, its golden eyes locked onto her. It froze entirely, analyzing her. Athelas kept still and averted her gaze from meeting his. Though the hunger pains in her stomach were making her uncomfortable, she felt a stinging sympathy for this wolf. It was incredibly skinny. She could tell, even through its thick coat. The wolf needed the rabbit more.

They stood there for a time, neither moving. Athelas furrowed her brows in confusion. What was it waiting for? She looked to the fresh blood dripping onto the stark white snow, then up towards the carcass in its jaws. The wolf began to growl. She tensed and gripped her daggers, ready to defend herself. However, she didn’t get the chance to when a sudden small wall of flames leapt up out of nowhere, dividing the woman and beast. The wolf looked at her for one more long moment before running off with its prize. Once she was certain it was leaving, Athelas turned quickly, daggers still at the ready. She was both stunned and puzzled to see Solas standing there. He quelled the flames.

“What are you doing here?” Athelas demanded.

“It is starting to get late and there was growing concern. I also wanted to make sure that the mark wasn’t causing you more pain.” Solas tapped his staff down into the snow. “I went looking for you and found your tracks, so I followed after them.”

“More importantly, how did you get so close without me hearing you?” Indeed, that slightly unnerved her. She was usually so attentive that nothing could sneak up on her while she was hunting.

“I have a few skills of my own,” he replied simply. “Since the mark doesn’t appear to be bothering you, shall we head back?”

Athelas looked back to the blood with a small sigh of defeat. She had really wanted to get something so that she could dine in peace and quiet, but it looked like that wasn’t the case. She sheathed her daggers and followed along after Solas in silence. When Haven came into view, Athelas all but glared at it, now dreading each step closer to it.

Solas broke the long quiet between them by saying, “If you wish to retire to your cabin, I will bring you some food there.”

His statement stunned her so much that she faltered in her steps for a moment. He glanced over his shoulder, giving her a knowing look.

“Since you’ve been here, you haven’t dined with anyone. I assume it’s because you don’t want to and I can’t say I blame you, after everything that’s happened in the last few days.” He gave her a reassuring nod. “Go ahead there and I’ll be along shortly.”

Athelas didn’t know what to say. She was mostly just so confounded as to why Solas was suddenly offering up this kindness. She didn’t have time to question him further as he went ahead into the village, heading towards the tavern. Huffing slightly, she figured she could give him a chance and she headed for her cabin as quickly as she could before anyone caught sight of her. Once she was safely within its walls, she built a fire to warm it. As the flames flickered to life, making the shadows dance about the cabin, she paced a little, not yet feeling at ease enough to relax. When a soft knock came at her door, she called for whoever was outside to come in.

It was Solas, bearing a tray of food in his hands. He shut the door behind him and made his way further in. He set it down on a small table with a small, silent nod to Athelas. He turned to leave. “Solas,” Athelas blurted. The apostate came to a halt, but didn’t face her. She took a deep breath and looked at the food. “Ma serannas. If you don’t mind…may I ask you something?”

He turned and clasped his hands behind his back. “Of course.”

Athelas paused, trying to pick her words. “You said before, when we talked the other day, that you’ve gone deep into the Fade. In the Fade, have you ever…come across Fen’harel before?”

Solas raised an eyebrow. “Fen’harel? Isn’t he a blasphemous god to your people? Why would you ask about him?”

Athelas felt a tick in her eye. “Nevermind. It was just a question.” She turned her back to him, sitting down to begin eating.

“Ir abelas, I did not mean to offend you,” Solas said. “It just caught me off guard is all. In response, though I have seen a great many things, I have not ever seen him in the Fade.”

Athelas absorbed his words, falling into thoughts of her own. She set her roll of bread back down and shifted in the chair. “A great many things?” she echoed.

“Yes. Are you curious? Would you like to hear some of a humble apostate’s journeys into the Fade?”

Athelas found herself agreeing. Solas stood for a while, regaling her with tales of things he had come across. After some time, Athelas offered him a seat, drinking up his stories with a sense of wonder. The longer he talked, his soothing voice washing over her, she thought to herself that maybe, just maybe, Haven wouldn’t be so bad after all.

After the show she decided to visit the local Hot Springs for a soak. It was late and no one else was there. She enjoyed herself immensely. 

When she returned to the Bungalows she wasn’t yet tired. So, she chatted with the resident tour guide and booked a glass bottom boat tour for the morning.

TT

She’s hot! She’s hot, too! Look at those eyes! - my wife looking through my dash on SST last week. I keep hinting at her to join Tumblr. Her response, “Do you really wanna see my vagina on the Interwebz.” lol.

Arizona. So, we’ve been giving some thought, serious talks, on moving to Phoenix. I mean that’s always been the plan - after kids are finished with high school - in like 9 years lol. I just really, really want to get out of the midwest. Minneapolis and Okoboji, Iowa……you’re cool. Chicago, you’re cool, too. I’m just ready to move on from here….South Dakota. Not many friends here either. I would miss the in-laws farm in Central Iowa. Love that place. It’s just not feasible now. Someday.

I’ve been craving a cigar lately. Not sure why. I haven’t had one in years.

I always check the time on my phone and have to check again cause I wasn’t paying attention the first time.

I’ve enjoyed listening to Jay-Z’s new album. Love the music, love the content. It’s a contrast to much of the hiphop that’s out right now. The man opened up about his relationship with his wife. Unheard of in hiphop. Hiphop is a lot of things, but being vulnerable isn’t, usually, one of them. I’ll talk about this subject in my next post.

anonymous asked:

i just woke up and i was greeted w the thought of harry having kids but ur blog is relatively nsfw rn HOWEVER the thought was: how would harry explain sex to his kid(s)? also would he call dicks doodles for the preservation of childhood innocence or just straight up "so that's a penis"

harry ‘crunchy granola’ styles is gonna be the type of parent to be like ‘i want a very open relationship with my children, they can come to me with anything’ and his partner is like ‘okay, thats fine. thats good. healthy’ but harry literally embarrasses their children at any given moment without even meaning to. like his son has a friend over, they say something like ‘yeah she’s hot’ and harry is like ‘thats so nice of you to express your feelings like that. sex is such a beautiful, healthy, natural thing–’ and his poor kid is mortified. also he definitely uses anatomically correct terminology once theyre like… 12/13, but for their childhood you better believe he’s using all sorts of goofy names, doodle included 

anonymous asked:

how do you not like gal gadot she's the first solo woman hero and and she's hot lol

yeah, i’m all for a solo woman hero film but gal gadot is a zionist and supports (inhumane war crimes) the act of killing Palestinians (women and children included), she fought for the IDF (which in israel two years is mandatory, which you can’t blame her for, but since then she has openly supported these inhumane acts). everything gadot supports is completely backwards to that of what WW stands for.

you can find out more from these different articles that cite where she has shown support.

i’m very open about my politics/very politically involved, so this def affected my thoughts on her/the movie