In Another Life : Part 2 (Cassian X Reader)
PAIRING: Cassian Andor X Reader
WARNINGS: Fluff, cussing & PDA
WORD COUNT: 6,028
PART ONE / PART TWO / SUMMARY: Y/N goes to Base one to grabs the last of her belongings so she can move in with her fiance, the Prince of Artorias. While packing her things up she runs into her first love. Cassian Andor.
PLEASE READ PART ONE FIRST!!!
“Well, I’m speaking up now, princess.”
Cassian grunts as he grabs the other hand Y/N is about to hit him with. He now has both of her wrists trapped in one of his hands between their bodies. His other hand is around her small waist when he pulls her flushed onto him. His Princess stares up at the man she loves like it’s the last time she’ll see him, her eyes are filled with tears as she tries to stay strong. Her Captain looks down at the woman he loves like she’ll disappear any moment, he stares at her with a scared expression yet an honest one.
“I love you.” Cassian chokes out like it’s the hardest thing to say but the most honest one. He smiles at her with tears forming in his eyes as she offers him a shaky smile in return before he continues, “There is no doubt in my mind either that I will always love you.”
Their hearts are pounding from the statement, for a moment they feel like they gone back a few years to the first time he confessed his love for her. They were fighting the first time he told her, similar to now. They were throwing things and punches, it was after a mission that went wrong. Y/N had almost died on the mission, Cassian was yelling at her for being so careless and reckless. Y/N didn’t understand why he was so made since she was still alive. Then he told her, more like shouted at her, that he’s in love with her. The argument stopped the moment he said it because Y/N pulled him in for a kiss before he could say anything else. She’ll never forget whispering she loves him back that day. Pulling a hand from his tight grip Y/N moves it to touch his cheek like she’s seeing the past him, he leans into it and closes his eyes like the reality they live in now isn’t real. She rests her forehead on his and lets out a hushed longing tone.
“Tell me not to leave, Cassian. I’ll call it off the wedding, just tell me to stay.”
Y/N closes the space between their lips then when she hears the uncertainty in her captain’s voice. All she wanted to hear is that he wanted her like he did a year ago, that’s all. She would do anything he told her to and she wants nothing more than for him to tell her he wants her to stay with him where she belongs. Cassian groans at the familiar warm lips he hasn’t tasted for a year like it’s an old drug he never wanted to quit. He wraps his arms around Y/N’s waist possessively without realizing it. She pulls him even closer by his shirt and he picks her up with an arm under her ass from a force of habit. She sighs in content as her fingers run through his untamed hair, he growls in approval. She then opens her mouth for him letting his tongue fight with hers for command. She lets out a breath as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. Her hands trace the curve of his chin before dropping them to his shirt to unbutton it. He falls onto her bed then with her in his lap, her dress surrounds them as he begins to kiss his way down to her exposed neck. His hands go under her dress searching for her thighs that he’s so used to spreading willingly for him. Finding what’s always been his he squeezes her thighs and pulls her closer to where he wants her making her gasp in need. As she hungrily undoes his shirt she looks up at him in with a lustful gaze while moaning out as he finds her sweet spot on the crook of her neck with his tongue.
“Tell me you want me here on base one with you, tell me to stay, just say the word. You can have me and I’ll be yours again, Cassian.”
Cassian groans as she pressed her core down on his member. He squeezes tightly on her thighs before forcing himself to pull his hungry lips away from her bare skin. Looking up he sees the need in his princess’s eyes as her hands touch his body desperately. Her hands know all the right places to touch him and make him beg for her. He’s about flip them over and make her his one more time when he sees something different about her hands. One has a wedding ring that isn’t his, it’s the ring Finn Galfridian gave her when she agreed to marry him. That’s when he looks up at her in shame, affliction, and defeat while saying words he wishes he didn’t have to say.
“I can’t ask you to stay, princess.”
She pulls her lips away from his skin then and sits in his lap now with disbelief. He only looks up at her in pure sorrow as she processes on what he said. He said the same thing a year ago when she asked him if she should stay or leave. Y/N doesn’t get off him right then, she just sits there with her back straight while looking at the man she loves like a stranger. Her expression is unreadable to him as he waits for her response. She couldn’t believe what he was doing yet again, he was letting her go when they both know that is the last thing he wants. If he isn’t going to ask her to stay though then she won’t. After everything they have been through together she can’t just stay here without him admitting he wants her here. He can’t do it though, he pledged his life to the Rebellion before she came into his life.
Y/N raises her hand then to slap him and he turns his head in wait of the pain but after a moment she drops it like the fight has left her body. She was willing to be a selfish person this one time but he wasn’t which is why at this moment she allows herself to come to terms that the future she and Cassian planned is just a wish now and not a possibility. Maybe it has always been some crazy wish and not some real possibility. It doesn’t matter now, he has made his choice that seals their future forever. Getting up Y/N smooths out her dress calmly before going over to her jewelry it up she takes out the old cheap engagement ring. She only stares at it for a second before turning to Andor and chucking it at him. He catches it without realizing exactly what it is she’s throwing at him. Looking down he finds the ring he gave her in his hand.
His face flinches as he remembers kneeling down in front of her with the ring. He had a huge and nervous grin when he asked her to be his wife. She didn’t let him finish his question before she jumped onto him with the brightest smile he’s ever seen. She couldn’t even give him a one-word answer, all she did was nod her head while bursting into tears. He’ll never forget the sound of her laugh as he puts the ring on her finger. When he put it on her finger that day he never thought it would come off. Here he is though with a regrettable decision that he made and the ring he once gave her. When he looks back to Y/N she’s packing her things again but this time she does it in a reformed way. He watches her walk around the room with a professional posture while grabbing her things and putting into her priceless bag. She doesn’t make eye contact with him either making his heart sink as he speaks up.
“Y/N, please. Say something.”
“What is there left to say?” She says without looking at him while getting the last of her belongings, “You aren’t my husband, you aren’t my fiance, and you aren’t my captain.”
“So this is it?” Cassian clenches the ring in his hand while looking at her in disappointment, “This is the end?”
“Well, you made it clear that you don’t want me here… So I believe it is.” Y/N finishes packing and finally turns to look at him with a sour face, “I’ll have one of my maids send you an invitation to my wedding, Captain Andor.”
Andor. That was supposed to be her last name, now in a few weeks, it will be Galfridian. The thought makes his eye twitch because that wasn’t how his future was supposed to go. His future was supposed to be going on missions with her, fighting with her, loving her, his future was supposed to be her and he’s letting it all go. He looks at her like he wanted to scream, to tell her to stay, to be his partner again but he can’t get his mouth to open. She looks at him then like he’s just another member of the rebellion making him want to tear everything in the room to shreds. She zips up her luggage and begins going to the front door. This is it, this is last time he’ll have a chance to see her other than in pictures or with a hand full of bodyguards. Before she can press the key for the door to unlock Cassian grabs her free hand and sets her old engagement ring in the palm of her hand while saying.
“I gave it to you once, princess. It’s still yours.”
“Keep it.” Y/N shoves it back in his hand and suggests with a bitter expression, “Give it to a woman you love.”
“If you loved me, Captain Cassian Andor, you wouldn’t be letting me go.”
Cassian drops his hand with the priceless ring still in it shocked as he stares at Y/N like she broke his heart. That was the first time she has ever doubted his love for her. She stares at his hand with the wedding ring in it then at him one last time before unlocking her door and leaving. He stands there, unable to move from the empty feeling. That’s it, this is the last time she’s going to be in this room with him. In a week or two, the General will assign this room to someone else and it’ll be just another room. Whoever moves into this room won’t have the slightest clue of the future he could have had in it with her. They wouldn’t matter after a while though since Y/N’s not going to be in it to keep the future alive.
In time this room won’t have any meaning to it anymore. Cassian leaves the room and goes into the hallway. Y/N is halfway down the hall now, his team is around her with bright grins. The group must have been walking to her room when she came out. Everyone passing the group checks out Y/N, she sticks out like a sore thumb in the sea of the Rebellion. Everyone around her is wearing plain colors while she’s draped in red. She used to be one of them in plain colors but even then she stood out to him. Bodhi turns his head and finds Cassian standing little ways down the hall and calls out.
“Cass, get your ass over here! Did you know Y/N was back?”
“I knew someone from Artorias was coming.” Cassian explains with his expression closed off as he walks to them, “I didn’t know she was joining them.”
“Holy shit, look at you.” Baze gauges at Y/N while making her twirl around for them, “You look like a million Galactic Credit!”
“Thanks.” Y/N smiles with a warm gaze while looking at her whole team, “I missed you guys so much. It’s been forever since I last seen you all.”
“Wrong.” K-2 blurts out by Jyn’s side with his finger up in the air, “It’s been exactly one year, 3 days, 11 hours, and 10.1 minutes since the last time you seen-”
“K-2.” Chirrut speaks up bored while standing beside Baze and Y/N, “Shut up. We don’t have time for your numbers.”
“Well,” K-2 states while sounding a little hurt, “That’s just rude.”
“When are you leaving?” Bodhi changes the subject then knowing they don’t have much time, “If you have time, why don’t we drink the rest of Baze’s liquor like we did in the good old days.”
“Actually, I should be getting back to the ship.” Y/N says with a guilty voice while looking down at her luggage, “I only came here to get the last of my things.”
“So this is.. Like… Goodbye?” Bodhi questions to her with shock, “For good?”
“No…” Y/N shakes her head quickly while pointing out awkwardly, “You all are invited to my wedding. Finn is allowing me to have you all as our guests in the palace the whole week of my wedding.”
“Allowing?” Her blind friend asks curiously yet knowingly, “I don’t remember you ever needing someone to allow you to do something.”
“No kidding.” Baze burst out laughing at old memories, “You would literally go rogue if someone told you what to do. Am I right or am I right, Captain?”
Everyone, even Chirrut, turns to Cassian who is next to Jyn behind everyone. He looks at no one particular as he smiles softly and nods in agreement. Everyone around them can see he’s trying to act professionally for the situation they are in. They all know he was engaged to Y/N, hell, they were all planned to be part of the ceremony in their wedding. Since they called off the wedding everyone in the group tries to act like how it was before they were engaged but it’s was still hard since they became a team when the two were dating. Only K-2SO knows what it was like before Cassian and Y/N started dating but K-2 says there isn’t much difference between the days they were a couple and the ones that weren’t. Everyone now stands around awkwardly, none of them wanted Y/N to marry Finn Galfridian but they didn’t have to share their opinion for Cassian and her to know that. So they just leave it be and hoping they’ll come to their senses themselves. Sighing Y/N thinks out loud while looking down the hall.
“I should get going. The Artorias guards are probably on their way to get me. This was supposed to be a quick trip.”
“We’ll walk you to your ship then.” Jyn suggests to her close friend before joking, “We don’t want you to get lost.”
“Hey, now.” Y/N smirks as everyone begins to walk with her down to base one hangar, “I still know this place like the back of my hand, it’s the Artorias palace I keep getting lost in.”
“You’ll figure it out.” Chirrut speaks up before saying with meaning to it, “You’ll have to. It’s your future now after all.”
Y/N and Cassian look to him with unreadable expressions from the weight of his words hitting both of them. They glance at one another after a moment of processing when the blind man said. It’s your future now. Prince Finn of Artorias is her future now, living like royalty is her future now, living for the prince is her future now. Her life doesn’t require her going on deadly missions or living in terrible conditions anymore. Her whole life, she was content with the way she originally planned her future and not once during that time did she want it to be any different. She was proud living the way she used to, she was proud of the life and future she assumed she was destined to have. Now her whole person, life, and future is different in a way she never wanted or thought of. It doesn’t matter is she didn’t want it though because it’s her future now so she’ll just have to figure it out. Her heart sinks into her chest painfully at the idea of not living here, not going on missions with her friends and her Captain.
The realization hit her deep in a way that made her want to fall to her knees. She’s about to lose everything dear to her with a professional smile and she couldn’t bare the thought of that. She’ll figure it out though, she’ll have to if she wants to keep moving in her life. With time this place will just be a memory and somewhere she used to lay her head at night. It won’t mean anything after awhile, same with the people in it. Someday she looks back on the days she used to live here and smile at the old memory that she keeps in the back of her mind. Maybe in a few months or years, she’ll look back and see this place as just a stepping stone to bigger and better things. The feelings she has now will fade and the things she’s afraid of losing won’t matter anymore. Cassian will become someone she used to love as she learns to love Finn Galfridian and he’ll fade into the background of her life. Glancing behind her Y/N sees Cassian staring directly at her like he’s thinking the exact same thing. He gazes shows her the same feeling in her chest, agony.
As the group walks Cassian walks the slowest with his hands behind his back. He stares at Y/N with such despair in his face, he feels like she’s walking away from him even though they are walking together. In his mind, he keeps telling himself that this feeling inside won’t be permanent. In time he’ll learn to go on missions without forgetting she’s not there, he’ll get used to sleeping alone, he’ll get over the pain of putting the Rebellion first. He’ll have to if he wants to get on with his life. Y/N will fade into just a woman he used to love and he’ll go back to the way he used to live without her. Maybe in a few months or years, he’ll look back and smile at the thought that he was in love at least once. Maybe, possibly, one day he’ll find another woman to spend the rest of his days with and fill the whole Y/N is leaving behind in his heart. Cassian smiles sadly at the thought because he knows that no woman will ever be able to compete with Y/N.
Looking down Cassian opens his hand to find the wedding ring still in his hand. It hurts looking at it but he knows after awhile he’ll look at it like it’s another life he’s not meant to have. Jyn’s glances down when she sees Cassian staring hard at something, her eyes go wide at the sight of the wedding ring in his palm. She never thought she would see it again, is that the reason he wanted to go into Y/N’s room? With that in mind, she opens her mouth is saying something to him but after a moment her lips close. She couldn’t ask about that with him looking like that, he looks like someone took everything from him and he has to be okay with it. The two look up from the ring when they get near the hangar.
It’s pouring down with the wind running wild, it’s like the weather knows the princess is leaving. Everyone is running around trying to get as little wet as possible. It’s no use though anyone who goes out onto the hangar immediately gets drenched. The group stops walking when they reach where the roof ends. They see her ship a few yard away from them, it’s as clean and shiny as can be in the rain. Four men come running from the ship with an umbrella each. By the time they get to the group they are drenched. Y/N’s old team turns to look at her as she hands her bag to one of the men who insist on taking it to the ship. He and another man cover the bag with two umbrellas as they run to the ship. The team looks at Y/N in a panic knowing she’s about to leave on a one-way ticket to Artorias as one of the men tells her quickly.
“Princess, we should get going before the rain gets any worse.”
“Okay…” She smiles at him politely before turning to her friends and saying to him, “Just give me a moment to say my goodbyes.”
Both men nod and take a step back so she has space to say her goodbyes. Immediately Bodhi and Baze give her a tight up make her hold her breath. They’re babbling away on how they will make any excuse to come see her in the palace and that they will always make a pit stop on a mission to see her. When they pull away from her she pulls them right back in for one last hug. After a moment of all three laughing with tears coming to their eyes, they all pull away. Chirrut then takes Y/N’s hand and pulls her into a hug. As they hug tightly Chirrut asks her quietly in her ear for only her to hear.
“Did you read the book I gave you? Cover to cover?”
“Did you find it?”
“When you have time… look for something in the back of the book, I put it there a long time ago. It will help you in the future.”
“Okay.” Y/N pulls him close while whispering, “Thank you, Chirrut.”
They pull away then and shake each other’s hands, the expression in Chirrut’s face lets her know that he respects what she’s doing even if he hates it. Turning to face Jyn the girls smile lightly at each other like they are trying to be positive but failing at the reality of their lives. They pull each other into a hug and squeeze the air out of one another. Needing to get it off her chest Jyn mumbles to her best friend.
“It’s not your fault.” Y/N pulls away from Jyn so they can be face to face, “Don’t be sorry.”
“I am though.” Jyn says under her breath while glancing behind her best friend to where Cassian is standing while thinking out loud, “I’m sorry things didn’t work out like they should have.”
“Me too.” She agrees with a heavy heart while turning to K-2 and saying, “Keep this team safe, will you?”
“Without you doing missions with us we have a 42% more chance of survival-”
“Alright, yes. I’ll try to keep this team as safe as can be.”
With that said Y/N smiles warmly at the rebuilt Imperial Droid before turning to the last person to say the worst goodbye. She comes face to face with Cassian and he lifts up his eyes like a he can’t look her in the eye without showing all the pain in his body. His hands are behind his back, he doesn’t trust himself to keep them at his side. Y/N has hers locked in together in front of her while trying to keep this goodbye professional. They both take a single step toward each other while biting their tongues so they don’t say something that will make this harder. What could they say to make this goodbye any good? Y/N rather take a blaster to the head then say goodbye to him but she doesn’t think her fiance would appreciate his bride to be coming back dead. When neither one say a single thing to one another but their eyes were screaming at each other. One of the men that came with Y/N speaks up when they still don’t say anything.
“Princess, we need to-”
“I know. I know.” She snaps quickly without her longing eyes leaving Cassian’s stiffened form, “Give me one more second.”
“I guess this is goodbye,” Cassian speaks up softly while keeping his emotions in check, “I’ll make sure the team visits every chance they can.”
“Good…” Y/N looks down to her hands and says so quietly he almost didn’t hear it, “Will those visits include you?”
“I- I don’t know.”
“I see… Well, goodbye.”
“Goodbye,” Cassian says softly while looking at her like he’s trying to savor the last real life image of her, “Princess.”
Looking up from her hands she takes one last look at Cassian as if she’s still the simple girl who fell in love with him before turning to her other friends and saying a quick goodbye. After that, she straightens her back and gazes everyone with a stern expression like she’s royalty. She looks as if she’s now acting for a movie or a play that she didn’t want to do. She nods to the two men who then open their umbrellas and put them over Y/N’s head as she begins walking out on the hangar like a queen. The wind is blowing her hair and dress like it’s trying to take her back to her Captain. Rain barely gets on her but she can still feel it trying to drench her, it doesn’t faze her though since she’s been in worse. Way worse. She, at one point of her life, been shot at, starved, kidnapped, and beaten. Nothing like that will ever happen again once she’s announced the Princess of Artorias. As she gets closer to the ship she begins to get slower in the heavy realization that the worst part of her life is over.
She stomach feels like it dropped in her belly at the thought of how easy her life will be now, she looks almost as if she was about to puke. Most people would think easier is better. Being with Cassian was never easy, working for the Rebellion sure as hell wasn’t either but it was for a real cause and her relationship with Cassian was deep and true. Her living situation, health, and love life will never again be worse than it was with the Rebellion and Cassian. But it would never be as deep and passionate like it was before. Marrying Finn and playing the part as Artorias’s princess would be easier but it wasn’t a meaningful as Cassian and the Rebellion. Which is why it’s so hard to leave because Y/N knows she’ll never have something pure and passionate with Finn like she has with Cassian. She’s halfway to the ship when she stops walking completely and realizes she can’t leave like this, her and Cassian deserve better than to say goodbye like they were just acquaintances.
Looking down to her wedding finger Y/N imagines Cassian engagement ring still on the finger. No, she couldn’t leave like this, she couldn’t leave like that ringer was never on her finger. It’s hard to think it will never be on her finger again but it’s even harder to leave like it’s never been on her finger. Being with Cassian was never easy so leaving him isn’t going to be easy but she knows they don’t deserve easy. Their relationship, their love deserves more than this shitty easy ending they are forcing. They have been through hell together, they almost died together, they starved together, they spent sleepless nights together, they have done so much together that this is just not justice. They can’t leave it like this, not after everything. Turning around Y/n finds Cassian still as a brick in front of their friends. His hands are at his side clenched, he looks as if he’s going to fall to his knees. The sight makes Y/N’s bottom lip quiver and eyes grow red as the wind tugs on her dress and hair madly. The men holding the umbrellas yell through the rain to her when they realize she is making no move toward the ship.
“Did you forget something?”
She ignores their questions as she begins to walk back the way she came. The rain begins to come down on her like the sea since the men with the umbrellas don’t move to follow her from confusion. Pushing people out her way Y/N keeps her gaze on Cassian who is now walking on the hangar to her just as soaked as everyone else. They don’t run or even walk fast, they just take in the sight of one another like it’s the last time and they want to soak it up like the rain and their clothes. Her hands begin to shake as she gets closer to her captain because she wants nothing more than to just love him and forget all about the stupid ring on her finger. When they are a yard apart Cassian goes into a sprint to her the rest of the way from not wanting to waste the precious seconds they have left. Reaching her he wraps his arms around her waist and lifts her off her feet. She then throws her arms around his shoulders and lays her forehead onto his with her eyes jammed closed. He holds her body to his like it’s a part of him without letting her feet touch the ground. Opening her eyes she watches as he moves her drenched hair out of her face while the rains keep pouring down on them. She grabs hold of his cold shirt as she tilts her head to get a better look of his face that’s has water dripping from it. Men from Artorias call for her and their friends call for him but neither one can hear them from their hearts beating in their ears.
“Princess! Your dress!”
“Captain! She’s engaged!”
“Y'all are 93.1% likely to get sick.”
“It’s too late for this! Don’t be foolish.”
Everyone is shouting things at them in the rain, thunder, and wind but the only thing the two hear is each other’s breath. Their hair is sticking to their faces and their clothes are clinging to their bodies. The two look at each other like it’s means everything, all they see are one another. Cassian rests his damp hand of her shivering cheek and holds her like she’ll disappear any moment. Y/N has her hands resting on his neck as if it was her lifeline. Resting his forehead onto her’s Cassian says desperately.
“Don’t forget about me, princess. Don’t forget about us.”
“I won’t, Cass. I love you.”
“You’ll love Finn too.” He croaks out in pain with miserable eyes as he breaks his heart himself by saying, “So promise me, you’ll try. I know you’ll learn to love him.”
“Cassian, please don’t ask that of me-”
“Promise me.” Cassian holds her face close to his with the rain and his own tears running down his face, “Promise me you’ll try to find love and happiness with him.”
“I promise.” She cries out from thought of loving anyone but him, “But-”
“Princess!” One of the men yell as he pulls her away from Cassian, “You’re shivering like crazy. Let’s get you into the ship.”
Y/N lets the guys pull her away while her eyes are locked into Cassian. He lets her go with an expression that tells her everything she needs to know. Her heart feels hollow as the men quickly direct her to the ship. She stares at Cassian who hasn’t moved from where they were pulled away from each other. He can see where he’s at that she letting silent tears go down her face even in this thick rain. Y/N watches as the despair takes over Cassian’s expression and it nearly makes her far to her knees. Suddenly she doesn’t feel the rain hammering down onto her skin. Looking up she realizes the men have successfully guided her to the ship without her even realizing it. Just as the door closes Y/N’s gaze goes back to Cassian to find him being held by Jyn in the rain and thunder. With that last depressing look, the door shuts and she can’t see them anymore. Eyes widening she rests her hands on the door like they would magically open up again by the touch of her numb fingers.
Another second goes by and she can feel the ship take off under her feet. Her breathing begins to quicken and her chest rises and falls dramatically like she lost all the air from her lungs. That’s it, that’s the last time she’ll see him until her wedding with Prince Finn Galfridian in Artorias. It’s over, it’s all over. Everything she spent her life fighting for is gone and she agreed to it. She soberly agreed to give her heart and soul to the Rebellion, Cassian freely let the Rebellion take his heart and soul. She falls to her knees, she couldn’t feel a single physical thing but inside she could feel every damn thing. Her mind is in overdrive as she stares at her hand with her wedding ring. Her face is unreadable, she’s so still that you would have thought she was a statue. Y/N doesn’t immediately notice a few of her maids are coming by her side.
“Princess. Look at you!” One of her says in shock while grabbing a towel, “You’re a mess. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
“I- I’m fine.”
Y/N whispers but the maids don’t hear her as they begin to dry her hair and try to get her out of her soaked gown. Not moving Y/N hears the maids babbling away about something but not having enough energy to actually listen to what they are saying. Y/N’s still staring at the ring when it becomes blurry in her eyes from the tears forming. The maids don’t notice her mournful expression as they undress her themselves and get her into a new gown. More and heavier tears start to fall as Y/N replays the last words Cassian said to her. Promise me. Promise me you’ll try to find love and happiness with him. She didn’t want to, she despised the idea but she loves her Captain. She loved him enough to be his partner. She loved him enough to agree on marrying him. She loved him enough to instead agree on marrying Finn and she loves him now enough to promise him she’ll find love and happiness with another man.
PART 3? Yes… No…?