why i stopped identifying as ace
i know, I just recreated my blog and now I’m talking about Things.
look, no one is arguing that asexuality is a real thing. in fact, I used to call myself ace too. I had an ace flag background, I had an ace ring – all of it.
and you know what? nothing about my attraction has changed since then. even though I dropped the asexual label, I’d still be a firm member of the community if I decided to call myself ace.
but I don’t. and i never will again. and here’s why:
y’all are homophobes.
yes, you’ve heard it before! but now it’s coming from an asexual who felt so alienated and embarrassed by your actions that she will never come near your community anymore.
you take tragedies, murders, and violent acts against sga people and turn them into some kind of oppression contest against you. you make everything about yourself, constantly. you talk about sex more than any quote-unquote “allosexual” I’ve ever met.
you make posts about how an std-plague would be so cool because only aces would survive. you take valid criticisms of your garbage behavior and cry “aphobes!” and put your fingers in your ears.
newsflash: you’re not oppressed because you don’t want sex. yes, sexual situations may make you more uncomfortable than others, and finding a compatible partner might be rough, but those aren’t systematic.
when I told my mom I was ace, she said “you haven’t met the right person.” rude, yes, but pretty normal for a mom response.
when I told my mom I liked girls, she sent me to conversion therapy and told me if it didn’t stop, I had to leave.
you see the difference? let’s be real: probably not. you’ll probably tell me I’m either lying or generalizing. but I want you to know this: you are the reason I don’t feel safe in the “ace community,” and you are the reason no one wants you in our safe spaces. leave us alone.