she's like a curry

want • Shawn Mendes

A/N: Hey guys; today I’m posting a smut piece (as if it’s some 19th century painting - this piece is from the Victorian era and it’s crafted by hand) no, it’s not, well it was crafted by hand (and a lot of hormonal pent up feelings) but this is just smut. Just some filth, and I also feel as if I have to put a warning before? So:

Warning: contains smut 

Enjoy! And feedback would be lovely! I might write a part 2 if y'all want it?

Originally posted by illumegeoff

MASTERLIST: Come and check out some of my other mildly average writing!

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when they didn’t cut that part of video basically comfirms that yousef was talking to the boys in groupchat of how much he liked the date like imagine

  • okay so sana was like “ is it cool to marry a non-muslim in yor religion” and i was like yeah, are you planning on marrying a non-muslim” “she was like maybe” “and i was like who ????” “she said stephen curry but she meant me right ???? right ????”
    •  adam : “bruh she literally told you ???? It is stephen curry”
    • yousef : “shut up”
  • mikael : so what did you guys do ????
  • we walked around the harbour and played some games
    • you made a girl who was fasting for 19 hours walk the whole time ????
    • I PLANNED IT OUT OKAY
    • I HAD FOOD READY AND ALL I TOOK EVERYTHING INTO ACCOUNT HOW DARE YOU IMPLY ….
  • THEY PROBABLY TALKED THE WHOLE NIGHT ABOUT IT
  • OKAY SANA totally texted yousef after the yt clip comes out
  • “nothing special huh”
  • “I WILL KILL THEM ALL OF THEM BUT MIKAEL FIRST OMG”
  • “you stalk me on insta ????? that is kind of desperate”
  • “I CAN EXPLAIN”
  • “oh really oh really now but first of all was it really that to film the video in my house”
  • YES IT WAS

i love these idiots

6

Queen “Rage-Mode” Mera + Arthur “Calming-Charm” Curry

From the perspective of an Indian kpop fan, not only was Miss Jiyeon’s SNL Korea skit 100% racist, its also a perfect example of how deeply people are ignorant of Indian cultures. Here’s a breakdown of why:

Firstly, even from the mention of someone appropriating a bindi, there’s undoubtedly going to be other people claiming to be Indian/Brown/South Asian and immediately saying that they’re not offended! And that the bindi is largely a fashion accessory in India too so why can’t Jiyeon wear it! And to an extent, this is an important distinction to make when discussing Indian cultures: unlike how white people have stolen from black culture (which is the kind of cultural appropriation that gets discussed the most on Tumblr) Indian culture is a way more complex thing, and many non-Hindus (including myself as a child) have worn the bindi as a fashion accessory. 

However, this is where context becomes important because a non Hindu Indian wearing a bindi in India is explicitly doing it in an environment where they are not oppressing another group. A non Hindu wearing a bindi in India might not have an extensive knowledge of Hindu history and traditions, but they’re fully aware of the present day background of the bindi, what different types of bindis denote (for instance, a red powdered bindi is the mark of a married woman), etc. Even keeping this in mind, its worth noting that intolerance in India and Hinduvata (right wing nationalism with explicit focus on making India less secular and implementing a Hindu government) has grown alarmingly in the last few years and I very rarely see non Hindus wearing bindis anymore.

Secondly that whole?? mess?? with the turban?? As someone already pointed out, it was worn wrong. The turban I think she was trying to appropriate isn’t even part of Hinduism, its worn by the Sikh people as a symbol of their religion and even then its worn by men. I have never, in eighteen years of living in India, ever seen a woman wear a bindi and a turban together. The fact that they slapped both on her along with what looked like a salwar of sorts just proves they were scrambling to throw together something that looked like Exotic Brown Person.  

Moreover, the fact that she was called “curry-ah” in the skit is just a perfectly emblematic of the racism Indians face: after more than 60 years of Independence and massive contributions to the fields of science, medicine and engineering, along with a whole host of cultural and socioeconomic issues the country is still reeling from (e.g: religious intolerance, hella uneven development, corruption, youth unemployment) Indian people are still seem as dumb weirdos who smell weird. People want to wear bindis and do yoga but they don’t want to make basic effort to learn which religious group wears a turban. 

I’m not going to get into the debate on whether Jiyeon had the right to turn down the skit, and I’m not advocating for people to bully her directly. However, the same way that international kpop fans should learn not to fetishize Korea, idols need to learn that if they want to be global celebrities, this shit will not do. At the very least, her stans should realise they made a mistake. 

spoopy-son-of-rome  asked:

Jasiper. Comicon. Smutty. Goodness.

DAN

here’s the first part I guess??

in this comicon au

*

The most beautiful man she’s ever seen lifts her up in his stupidly strong arms and presses her against the door of her hotel room. She fumbles at her own belt to find her keycard, but–she keeps getting distracted, running her hands across the broad planes of his chest and shoulders, the smooth angle of his jaw, the soft blonde of his hair–and if he doesn’t quit distracting her so thoroughly, they’re probably going to get kicked out of the hotel for mugging down in the hallway.

Still, she doesn’t want to tell him to stop.

“Jason,” she gasps, leaning back far enough that he has to focus on keeping her steady. It’s really the only thing she knows about him–his name. And that he likes Captain America. And that her best friend fell in disgusting love-at-first-sight with his best friend. “Inside?”

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feels just like it should (jane/kurt fanfic + #bsABCchallenge)

project: @blindspothiatusproject ABC challenge

f: fights (version one) + felix (version two)

A/N: set sometime mid-season two.


feels just like it should

Jane and Tasha were sitting across from Kurt in his office, reviewing some files on Sandstorm that Patterson had decrypted when Kurt’s phone rang. Neither Jane or Tasha paid much attention as he answered the call but both of their ears perked up as Kurt raised his voice.

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Fame goes vegan ~ Hobnob

A/N: The other night i was watching countryfile and a segment about vegan cooking came on. I was disgusted, i turned off the telly. My mum asked me what was wrong and i just shook my head because I don’t like the vegan lifestyle. They make me feel sick. However, i like to consider myself a non judgemental person. I thought about what i did and decided to write a fic about the vegans to better understand them.

I really hope you enjoy and i also hope you read this during bake off because it’s on tonight and I’m making an apple crumble for my big brother.
~ Hobnob

Pee ess: this is a continuation of my critically acclaimed novel, more than meats the pie. If you want sweet gooey context go read that first.

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A Sun in Lily's Stomach

For prongslilys because i read tags and i love hers

//

Sometimes, if you screw up your eyes and breathe through your nose, you can remember a lot of green.

Remus says that was the colour of the other car, but you felt like it’s something more. It’s as if your eyes exploded, dripping down your face and into your mouth because there is a taste in it too, almost metallic. Then again, that might just have just been the blood.

But thinking about the accident makes your head hurt, so you try not to, because your head hurts enough already. You tell Sirius this and he gives you the weirdest look, then climbs beside you and asks if you want to watch Four Weddings and a Funeral again. You say yes of course, because Four Weddings and a Funeral is the greatest movie of all time, next to Die Hard, of course.

You watched Die Hard for the first time with James on your forth day here, but of course, it wasn’t really your first time, it was After Lily’s first time.

That’s how you separate the accident. There is Before Lily, who married at eighteen, was in medical school, had dead parents and liked to make charts. Before Lily didn’t like swearing at strangers, was going through a divorce and living with her older sister that she used to hate. Before Lily read thick medical journals, liked curry and had seven day planners on her phone.

Now there is After Lily. The Lily you are now, amnesia patient number #65248, who doesn’t brush her hair and is actually quite good at Candy Crush. After Lily doesn’t like hospital jelly, watches 90’s movies and laughs at bad puns made by her almost-ex-husband. After Lily types naughty words on the calculator with Sirius and has four tablespoons of sugar in her coffee that Remus brings her from the shop on the corner. After Lily remembers nothing of her twenty-one years up until six weeks ago, when she went hurtling through her car windshield after being hit by a drunk driver.

Petunia tries to get you to press charges, standing over you when you had just woken up with her pinched face and painfully brown dress, demanding a lawyer. But you weren’t interested in suing; you just wanted to know who everyone was and why people kept yelling. Petunia did a lot of yelling when she used to come and visit, she yelled at the hospital staff for calling James about the accident before her, she yelled at the medical school on the phone when they retracted your scholarship, she yelled at James about the divorce papers, she yelled at you when you told her to leave. You don’t like it when people bring up the almost-divorce around James; his face changes like he’s just been kicked in the stomach. That look makes your chest ache.

He is the first real thing you can remember.

When you first woke up you saw him, sleeping in the chair next to your bed, scruff on his jaw and long limbs stretched haphazardly across the floor. You remember a guy next to him with long black hair who was doing the crossword and yelling for someone called Remus to hurry up with the coffee. You remember the guy you now know as Remus dropping the paper cups when he saw your open eyes. You remember Sirius yelling for a nurse and James staring at you so hard, like he thought if he looked away you might disappear.

The day after that James brought you an assortment of lollies, so you could see which one was your favourite (Jelly babies, but the Before Lily’s was Marshmallows). He brings you books of every kind and reads aloud like you are five years old, both of you squished  on the tiny bed. You watch action movies and yell at the characters until the nurse comes over and tells you off. He teaches you how to play chess until he realises he doesn’t actually know how to play that well, so you end up watching YouTube tutorials about it instead. You show him how to use this great new website you found called Pinterest which he becomes totally obsessed with, so you and Sirius have to stage an intervention and delete the app off his phone while James looked on, almost tearful.

Sirius comes to visit nearly every second day and he brings great chick flicks that James won’t go near. You both cried during Marley and Me and he held your hand and squeezed it so hard your fingers popped. He tried to make you an origami swan but gave up when the paper was covered in blood from his own paper cuts, you laughed when he threw the paper at the wall. Sirius has a big laugh and winks a lot. He brings you Burger King and tells you about your parent’s death first. It is easy with Sirius, and you miss him when he can’t come by.

Remus comes in as often as he can, but he’s a hot shot law student and has a lot of papers to study for, which you try and help him with, but his flash cards are harder to read than the  fucking medical journals so you stop. He brings you good coffee and tells you about the world and everything you’d forgotten, quizzes you on American Presidents and Shakespeare. He lends you his iPod which is full of hard core rock and you play air guitar with him on your bed until the nurse comes over and loses it, because it’s the third time this week and “IF YOU DON’T STOP THAT I’M THROWING YOU OUT ON YOUR ASSES, BOTH OF YOU”. When you have one of your bad days, he holds your hand and talks about the one time he got bitten by a goose at a park when he was five until you are laughing so hard you almost forget that your brain is mess in your head. Remus teaches you how to knit, which is surprisingly enjoyable. He brings you watercolors so you can paint more, which is lovely, because drawing and painting is something your fingers remember without your brain having to.

James wheels you around the halls in a hospital wheelchair and you scream and tell him to go faster so he does. You take a cup and put apple juice in it, and when James drinks out of it you tell him that was your pee sample for the nurse and he spits it all over himself and frantically starts wiping his mouth with his shirt, while you lose your mind laughing. You and he start a competition to see who can start the best hospital rumor and he wins when he tells everyone that Doctor Abernathy used to be royalty until he was thrown out for setting free his family’s private elephant circus. When you have one of you bad days, when your brain is turning to a bloody pulp and leaking out of your ears he turns off all the lights and holds your hands and traces shapes on them with his long fingers. In the hospital suggestion box he puts in ten pieces of paper saying ‘some drinking games’ while you suggest ‘more wild ragers’. When you watch Game of Thrones you take bets on who will die next.  

When he leaves, late at night, you go through Facebook albums with titles like ‘SIRIUS GETS A MOTORBIKE AND LEGIT CRIES’ and ‘MOONY GETS INTO LAW SCHOOL AND WE ALL LEGIT CRY’. You scroll through videos on Sirius’s phone that have flashes of your smiling face, a tan arm around your shoulder. The older photos are your favourite; they have your hair taking up nearly the whole frame while James sticks his tongue out at the camera, being piss drunk and being held up by Remus, arm wrestling Sirius, trying to give James a piggy back, all with your mouth open and happiness pouring from your throat.

The older photos are more serious, you, staring unsmiling at the camera, James glaring at you, Remus looking uncomfortable, Sirius laughing and you in the midst of telling him to shut up because you’re working. The old photos show the Lily who was getting a divorce and who was stressed about school. You don’t look at those photos very often. Your wedding ones are the best. James in jeans and white t-shirt, you in a sundress holding a bunch of drooping daisies looking like the sun is under your stomach. You were eighteen and it was two a.m., Sirius told you he signed the marriage certificate with your best lipstick because no one could find a pen.

But the divorce. That’s what bothers you the most. That none of them would even be here if you weren’t still tied to him, a liability, something he didn’t want. It plagues you, bangs against your temple until you blurt the words out at James one night after you finish playing Uno. It’s the first time you see him get angry, really angry. He goes really red, jumps up and starts pacing

“That is the stupidest thing- no. No. That is- how could you even- no. Stop. I never even wanted-“

He stops abruptly then, falling back into his chair and giving you that look he had given you when you had first woken up, the one that makes you feel like he is trying to anchor you here, make sure you don’t disappear into your own head again.

“Lily, don’t ever say stuff like that, okay?”

You nod. Then suggest you play strip poker.

He laughs.

The worst day though, was learning about the blonde boy. The one that was in your wedding and that you are hugging in so many photos. He is in nearly every shot, and you don’t understand why he has never visited, or why the other guys don’t talk about him even though he looks like their brother, someone they punched on the arm and gave joke Christmas presents too. It is James  who has to explain, explain that Peter- the blonde boy who gave you a necklace for your seventeenth and bought you your first legal drink- hit you that night when he was driving drunk, rammed his green Toyota right into you when he was driving in the wrong lane. James looks like he’s choking when he says it, like suddenly there is not enough air in the whole room to fill his cracking lungs. You lean your head on his shoulder because he looks like he might disintegrate and you have to hold him there, you need him, you need him here.

When he falls asleep you draw things on his hands with the sharpies he bought you and look through more old Facebook albums named ‘WE GOT MARRIED BITCHES’ and ‘ALERT: JAMES POTTER IS OFFICIALLY ALLOWED TO DO WHAT HE’S BEEN DOING ILLEGLLY FOR YEARS: DRINK’. You fall asleep smiling and with James’s head on your stomach.

You have a secret though, something you can’t tell even James about because you’re not sure if he would get it. Here it is: You don’t mind being After Lily. You don’t care about your memories before right now, they aren’t coming back, and you know it in your limbs. Before Lily became hard edged and stressed, she wanted a divorce and to live with her pushy sister. Before Lily had the weight of a universe on her shoulders. After Lily has wheel chair rides and old 90’s movies, she has jelly babies and On the Jellicoe Road. After Lily likes to swear and do scary eye makeup. After Lily has Sirius and Remus. After Lily has James. You don’t want anything before this; you can’t remember it so it’s easy not to miss it.

But you do miss him when he leaves; miss his long fingers with your smudged sharpie on them, ache for his loud laugh and shitty puns. You miss his jaw stubble and his voice; miss the way his eyes look at you and the feel of his sharp elbow against yours. But he will come back, and when he does, strolling through that door and collapsing onto your bed, you will feel as though the world is full of stars.

(Because that’s the thing about After Lily, she has the universes in her veins instead of on her shoulders)      

Sweet Tooth

Lily and James were best friends growing up, but when he moved away and they drifted apart they thought that would be the end of their friendship. But fate has a funny way of working out, and Lily can’t keep herself away from the brownies in the grocery store.

written for @jilyfest + read on AO3

Lily had gone to the grocery store to buy tea. That was it. Really. She had no idea how so much ice cream had gotten into her basket. Perhaps she had picked up someone else’s by mistake.

Who is she kidding? She wants some comfort food and this was what was happening. It was all her stupid sister’s fault. Having her as a bridesmaid in her wedding and making Lily watch what she ate in order to fit into that ugly purple dress. Lily couldn’t pull off purple. Petunia knew it too. The wedding is finally over now and Lily is flat-sitting for the newlyweds. She doesn’t know why she had agreed to it but the deal was made now so she may as well stuff her face full of the chocolate she’s been craving for months.

She rounds the corner of another aisle, thinking that if she finds some brownies she can make a kick ass sundae, when she sees him. It takes her a moment to recognize the bloke who’s standing with two different packages of cookies in his hands, trying to decide between them. He goes for chocolate chip. That was always his favorite.

“James?” she says his name before she can stop herself.

Her childhood best friend whips his head around and gapes at her. The first thing she notices is that he got new glasses. Then she wants to slap herself because of course he did- it’s been twelve years for heaven’s sake.

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anonymous asked:

V or B

Well there’s nothing for V, but…

Boom.jpg

Someday I will finish the video that this is from, and lo it will be glorious.

unpopular opinion but i actually do like the rocky horror remake? it has its flaws, obviously – it is a little sterile because now it’s a glossy tv show instead of a campy 70s film, but it had some great shoutouts to the original staging of the film. also. laverne cox is fucking beautiful in everything she wore in this. and the floor show was probably the best part of it because holy shit, brad and janet knocked it out of the park there

i expect hot topic to get on this merch train very quickly. i want a tshirt that says “i’m saving myself for laverne cox”

Once in a great while, when Gibraltar’s watchpoint is silent in sleep, Satya slinks down to the mess hall’s kitchen. She gathers the small satchel of ingredients and spices she’d purchased from one of the shops below the Rock, and she begins to make idli and other little pastries she craves from India. The results are never quite how she remembers them, but they are a taste of home.

Jamison stumbles in one particular night, dazed and bleary-eyed and wanting for water, and he finds her in the middle of cooking. He squints over to the counter where she has her batters and other mixes of spices. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he makes his way over to her with dragging steps and asks what she’s making.

“Foods from my home country,” she replies, regarding him to gauge his intent. “I miss them very much. Idli especially.”

He eyes the containers of rice and the bowl of batter. A grin then edges at the corner of his mouth, and he lifts his prosthetic fingers at her in a wave. “Need a hand?”

This starts a series of late night cooking escapades. Satya is already aware of his ample sweet tooth, but she finds he likes spices just as well. He scarfs down curries and dumplings and stews as if they were his last meals, and he polishes off pastries with pleasure. More than that, he proves to be a useful presence in the kitchen, exceeding her expectations entirely. He does what he’s told, even if he does get distracted and occasionally plays with the various utensils, and he is very responsive to praise. She also finds that he has a strangely discerning palette; once or twice she catches him adding more seasoning after sampling something in progress and scrunching his nose in disapproval.

In turn, Jamison tells her about the sorts of things he ate in Junkertown and in the Outback. With Athena’s help, she looks up various recipes and attempts them with him. They aren’t able to import any of the specific native fruits or greens, but after some thorough conversation with the watchpoint’s shipment services, crocodile becomes available. He bemoans the lack of fire – tastes heaps better, y’know – but she finds herself enjoying makeshift versions of his meals.

One night, exhaustion seeds too deeply through Satya’s limbs. Her eyes flutter closed and she discovers herself nodding off at the counter while waiting for a large pot of water to boil. Jamison stands beside her, preoccupied with peering through their collective notebook of slapdash recipes and spice combinations, muttering to himself as he thumbs through the pages. Her mind draws blank, desiring warmth and comfort, and she leans gently against his side.

As if startled, his body tenses and a soft noise sounds in his throat. “Oi. You all right? Tired?”

“Very tired,” she murmurs.

“Might be time for a lie down, then. Reckon it’s past two. Maybe later.”

“Not just yet,” she says. “I would like to finish this first.”

“Right. Well, you’re calling the shots.” Slowly, he tucks his arm around her waist. “I’ll give you a shake when that starts getting hot.”

Satya breathes in seasoning and spice and allows herself a smile.