she'll-chew-you-up

Characters in American Gods
  • Laura Moon: I would kill for my husband
  • Mr. Wednesday: it's called a hustle sweetheart
  • Me. World and Co.: here come the men in black
  • Czernobog: "Fuck you and fuck your mother and fuck the fucking horse you fucking rode in on. You will not even die in battle. No warrior will taste your blood. No one alive will take your life. You will die a soft poor death. You will die with a kiss on your lips and a lie in your heart." - best curse in all of fiction tbh
  • Me. Nancy: best character 10/10 anxiously waiting for the movie adaption about his kids
  • The Zoryas: Slavic aunties with magic powers
  • Media: My speech is italicizes for emphasis. EMPHASIS!
  • Sam Black Crow: SPEECH MAKING INTENSIFIES
  • Bliquis: ooooh here she comes, she's a man eater, oooh here she comes, watch out boy she'll chew you up
  • Buffalo God: BELIEVE IT
  • The cab driving ifrit: doesn't matter had sex
  • Tech Boy: we get it you vape
  • Jacquel and Ibis: I believe in my cool funeral dads
  • Whisky Jack: fuck this shit I'm out
  • Mad Sweeney: ILL KICK YOUR ASS, ILL KICK HIS ASS, ILL KICK MY OWN ASS
  • Easter: sugar and spice and everything nice and about to save the world
  • Loki: surprise bitch I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me
  • Shadow Moon: I specifically asked for the opposite of this
  • Hinzelmann: hello naughty children it's murder time

@battlesmart

she snorts at his message, before pocketing her phone and looking back out at the mess she’s made. that guy really messed with the wrong girl last night when he went to hit her; now all his shit is broken or gone and his wife is in a safe location. it’s always good to know everything about everyone too; which is how she got the three guys at her house, cleaning. 

( text ; best friend ) don’t worry, i’m not going to jial. 

( text ; best friend ) someone else will be though. 

effectively ruining a mans life and his lackey’s who thought it was funny to hit women? sounds like a good day to karin. 

( text ; best friend ) i have to go shopping later for some art supplies for class ; wanna come? 

Hunting Dragons With the Dork Inquisitor
  • Cassandra: At the ready, everyone! The dragon is above us!
  • Mally Trevelyan: *singing* Oh-oh, here she comes!
  • Mally Trevelyan: Watch out boy! She'll chew you up!
  • Cassandra: Inquisitor, please! Be serious! It's breathing fire at us!
  • Mally Trevelyan: *still singing* Oh-oh, here she comes!
  • The Iron Bull & Sera: *joins in* She's a maneater!
  • Cassandra: *disgusted noise*