the signs as things my mum has told me to stop saying
Aries: Can you do something for me? Yeah, just murder me. Right now.
Taurus: *groans loudly* It’s fine, I’m fine.
Gemini: Time to die!!!
Cancer: Don’t worry, I’ve already cried like 3 times today.
Leo: If you don’t mind, I’ll just go shove an entire cactus up my ass, thanks.
Virgo: It’s not me, it’s the damn system.
Libra: I’m too white for this shit.
Scorpio: Well fuck me right up the ass.
Sagittarius: Seems like death is upon us, friends.
Capricorn: I feel like death hahaha
Aquarius: I’m too sober for this shit.
Pisces: I can literally feel my brain melting out my ears.