she wont last in the house long

Negan Imagine ~ Out of the blue

When Negan first visits Alexandria he takes a liking in the heavily pregnant reader and shows a whole different side of him when its suddenly gets really tough for her…

Requested

Originally posted by aliciasdaryl

The sun was shining brightly while you sat on the porch of your house while you sat in the rocking chair swinging slightly back and forth as you saw Rick coming towards you.
”Feeling better?”, he asked as he walked the stairs up.
Your pregnancy had been everything else than easy.
Shortly after you had noticed it, the problems had began and while you had thought that it would stop after the first months it got even worse.
You could be glad that you were in Alexandria, had medicine and wouldnt have to fear that the baby would come while a hoard of walkers could show up around every corner.
”A bit. The fresh air is doing a good job”, you said smiling at him while he pulled some tablets out of his pockets.
”I was told to give them to you”, he said laying the tablets into your hands.
You looked at Rick while he sat down next to you in another rocking chair.
His face was pale, he looked like he hadnt slept in days and his eyes looked like he would begin to cry in every next second.
It was just days ago you had seen your friends coming back, their faces completely distraught and filled with grief.
Their eyes still red and swollen from crying.
It still felt unreal that they were gone and you wished that they would come back, even if you knew they wouldn’t.
You weren’t with them when this man, this monster, killed them.
You were in Alexandria, keeping everything as good together as you could while Rick was gone.
You had almost come with them, but Gregory opposed to let two pregnant women live at Hilltop and you knew that you would let Maggie go when he announced that to Rick.
You had a break of your problems in that time and you would have never taken the place while seeing how bad she felt.
But the hard pregnancy wasnt the only thing Maggie and you shared.
The father of your child wouldnt ever get the chance to see his child grow up, just like Glenn.
He had died shortly before you met Aaron who brought you to Alexandria and also shortly before you found out that you were pregnant.
”Wont be long until its coming, huh?”, Rick asked smiling slightly while nodding over to your belly.
”By what the Doctor at hilltop calculated the last time, it has to be about two weeks, maybe a bit less left”, you said smiling back.
You looked back onto the street and saw how Rosita walked towards your house and looked up to Rick and you.
“Rick? I’ll go with Spencer on a run. Just wanted you to know”, she said into your direction.
“Alright”, responded Rick nodding before just minutes after Rosita had vanished you heard noises coming from the gates you couldnt match to Rosita and Spencer.

You walked behind Rick in the direction of the gates and could already see from afar that Spencer and Rosita werent alone and that the man behind the gates was no one else than the man your friends had told you of with shook in their voices
Negan.
He was standing there, with the baseball bat that had killed your friends over his shoulder while he talked to Spencer.
“You’re too early”, said Rick while he walked closer towards Negan.
“Missed you”, Negan said chuckling with a weird grin on his lips.
You surveyed him while he talked to Rick.
He was tall, his dark hair was gelled back, his lips that still formed that grin were surrounded with a salt and pepper beard and his eyes were gleaming.
And this pair of eyes suddenly darted directly at you while their gleam increased.
His glance stayed on you and caught your eyes and didnt let them go for moments until he looked grinning back to Rick.
Your glance went behind him were you saw how Daryl stood within Negans army.
He looked horrible, clothed in some kind of sack looking stuff and his face was swollen and covered with bruises.
God what had they done with him?

You got ripped out of your thought by the squeaking of the gates and saw how Negan walked grinning inside.
“Hold that”, muttered Negan grinning to Rick before walked towards you.
“Holy crap Darling, you are really pregnant like holy shit…and by the way also fucking pretty”, he said smirking as he walked closer while his eyes didn’t leave yours letting a shiver run down your back. 
He looked on some exaggerated kind of way around as if he was searching for somebody before he looked back at you. 
“You know Sweetie, you really deserve fucking better. If I’d be your fucking man I wouldn’t leave your fucking side…especially not in your circumstances”, he said grinning at you. 
“He’s dead”, you hissed glaring at him. 
Negan formed an “Oh” with his lips which you werent really sure about if he was actually sorry or just being sarcastic. 
Seconds later he looked smirking at you, his tongue between his lips while he analyzed your face.
“Would you-”, started Rick to say but was directly interrupted by Negan. 
“No Rick. Would you fucking shut up while I’m talking to this beautiful lady?”, Negan said chuckling at Rick while he pointed at you. 
You nodded to Rick, trying to show him that everything was alright, another dispute here was the last thing you needed and wanted.
“So what’s your name, Darling”, he asked as he turned smirking back to you . 
“(Y/N)”, you said. 
“Thats some fucking beautiful name, Darling. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m Negan”, he said smirking while you just nodded trying to respond with an uninterested glance. 
“Sweetheart, Its a fucking shame that I gotta do some work here but I’d fucking love to spend some time with you when its done”, he said winking at you before he walked back to Rick who was still holding Negans bat in his hands.
“Didn’t know you have such treasures here”, you heard him chuckling say as he bowed down to Rick. 
Negan winked one last time at you before he and his men began to make their way through Alexandria.

You walked sighing through the streets, not really knowing what to do while you saw how the Saviors got everything out of the houses that seemed somehow useful to them, before you saw Carl walk into the provisional Hospital and decided to follow him into it.
But as you had already expected it, you and Carl werent alone for a long time.
You jolted up as you saw two men walking into the room and walked straight towards the cupboards with the medicine and began pulling everything inside their bags they could grab.
”You need to leave something here”, growled Carl while one of the men turned chuckling around.
”We don’t need to leave anything here”, he said before he turned back around again and grabbed some more tablets.
“Don’t you see that she’s pregnat? She needs the medicine”, said Carl his voice already trembling though anger.
“Kid, do you think we care about that? ‘Cause surprise surprise, we don’t”, said the man chuckling darkly.
“The deal was half of it, not all”, you said calmly but still tensed.
The man turned around and looked chuckling at you.
“The thing is, what you say doesn’t matter. Not at all”, he said grinning at you. You scoffed but before you could continue you saw how Carl raised his gun.
“Deal is Deal”, growled Carl as the man turned around to him.
“Come on Kid, put that gun down you won’t shoot anyway”, said the other man grinning.
In the same moment Carl pointed at the ceiling and pulled the trigger producing a loud shot.
“I’m serious”, Carl growled before he continued.
“Now put them back”, Carl threatened while you saw two figures coming in through the door.
Rick and Negan.
Negans glance wandered from Carl to you and back before he turned around to him.
“Wow, really Kid?”, Negan asked chuckling.
“You should all go before you find out how dangerous we all are”, growled Carl, the gun still raised.
“Well, pardon me, young man. Excuse the sit out of my goddamn french but did you just fucking threaten me?”, asked Negan pointing at Carl who growled in response.
“I like you, so I don’t wanna go hard and prove a point here…again”, Negan continued while Carl finally lowered the gun.
“So whats the fucking problem, that Carl over here wants to shoot my men”, asked Negan raising his eyebrows.
“Your men want to take all the medicine and not the agreed half”, you said while Negan turned around to you by the sound of your voice.
He smirked while looking into your eyes, but just seconds later his glance got more serious before he turned around to his men.
“Alright…you leave the fucking medicine here”, he said shortly glancing at you and then back to his men.
“Everyth-”, began the shorter one to reply but got interrupted by Negan.
“Yeah fucking everything. But that doesnt change that this young man tried to cause some fucking trouble with one of my guns. So you know what I fucking guess Rick? I think you have way to many of my fucking guns”, he said looking over to Rick.
While Negan began to talk to Rick you felt how an unbearable pain shot through your body and made your legs feel like they couldn’t hold your body anymore. You heard how you gasped asyou stumbled backwards, while your eyes fluttered through the pain that just wouldn’t stop shooting through every inch of your body.
You felt how somebody grabbed you before you could stumble even more and how this person placed one hand on your back to stabilize you.
As you slowly looked up from your belly you didn’t saw into Ricks or Carl’s eyes, it were Negans.
“Holy crap Sweetheart are you alright?”, he asked looking at you while you tried to get your voice back.
“It’s coming”, was the only thing you could get out of your mouth before the pain shot again through your body.
Looking into his eyes you saw the shook in them, he swallowed hard and it seemed like he couldnt get a word out of his mouth.
You had made this man speechless for a moment.
You saw how he rallied himself , while you noticed that you had clawed your hands into the leather sleeves of his jacket.
Hell, why now?
Why?
Now when this man was here.
“Where’s your fucking doctor?”, Negan finally asked turning to Rick.
“Your men shot her some time ago”, you muttered before Rick could say anything.
Negan looked back at you while he breathed stressed out.
“Anybody else who knows how to deliver a fucking baby?”, he asked and you could hear that he tried to be as calm as he could.
You tired to get your pounding head to think about the people that could be in line for that.
Rosita was in the woods with Spencer.
She could be anywhere there.
The only one that came into your mind was Eric.
He had told you some time ago that he had assisted by one of the births while Pete had been the doctor here.
And that was better than nothing
“Maybe Eric, but I don’t know where he is”, you  said while your voice trembled.
“Okay Sweetheart, I’ll fucking stay here with you and we’re gonna bring this baby fucking healthy into the world, trust me”, he said still holding you tight before he ordered Rick to search for Eric.
“You’re not staying alone here with her”, said Carl suddenly glaring at Negan.
“Kid, do you really fucking think I’ll hurt her or what?”, Negan asked bewildered.
Carl scoffed while his glance gored through Negan.
“Alright, stay here or help your Dad search for that man, whatever”, Negan said before he looked back at you.
“Its too early, its coming too early”, you muttered trembling while you still tried to realize what was happening right now.
“Don’t worry Sweetheart. Its gonna be fucking alright”, Negan said stroking over your back.
He was calm now, or at least were good at pretending to be and with that, he surprised you.
Right now he wasnt that asshole, he was softer and more concerned than you ever thought this man could be.
Your legs began to become weak again and it seemed like Negan noticed that.
“I’ll get you to the cot”, you heard Negan mutter before he slowly lead you over to the cot.
Your legs trembled as you propped yourself against it and suddenly felt something wet running down your legs.
“Shit”, you muttered before you looked swallowing at Negan.
“Something wrong, Darling?”, you heard Negan ask with a concerned undertone.
“My water just broke”, you responded while you saw how Negan swallowed before he helped you get onto the cot
You laid there whille the pain of your first contraction decreased as Negan looked at you.
“Alright, we gotta get you out of those pants”, he said looking down on you before you slowly nodded.
Negan began gently slipping off your pants but as he went for your panties you jolted up by his touch.  
“Theres no reason to be shy, Sweetheart. Trust me, Ive already seen lady parts and I won’t touch you anywhere you don’t fucking want to”, he said.
”Okay”, you responed quietly nodding.
You looked over to Carl.
You could see that he tried his hardest to not let it show through how difficult this situation was for him.
You had been with them when Lori gave birth to Judith, had helped Maggie to get the baby out of Loris body and had seen how Carl had to see how his mother died.
And you had heard how he finally shot her.
If the situation right now sent you back to the moment his mom died through childbirth, then he would see the pictures before his eyes again also.
“Carl, you don’t have to stay if-”, you said but before you could go on Carl interrupted you.
“I’m staying”, he said determined while you heard Negan chuckle slightly.
You looked back at him, he had sat down on a chair and now he took your hand into his.
“What are you doing?”, you asked looking surprised at him.
“You’re gonna need something to fucking squeeze, right?”, he asked grinning.
That man that sat next to you, holding your hand had nothing in common with the man your friends had to met.
With the man that had bashed your friends heads.
And that confused you.
You didnt know how to get those two versions of him together.
How to see him anyways.
You were about to ask him why he was staying but you felt how everything in your lower stomach contracted again and the pain rushed through your whole body.
You began to tremble uncontrollably as your breath got faster and your heart pumped heavily against your chest while it felt like somebody was ripping your stomach.
The pain brought tears into your eyes and let them fall down your cheeks while you tried to not let the pain drive you insane.
You squeezed the living hell out of Negans hands while he stroke with his free hand over your lower arm, trying his best to help you through your pain.
Suddenly the door hit open and you saw how Eric rushed in, while you felt how the contraction got less strong again but left your body trembling.
“Rick told me-”, he said but suddenly stopped as he saw Negan sitting next to you while you saw how Negan began to grin.
Eric swallowed but walked then over to you.
“So you know how that whole fucking thing works?”, asked Negan looking at the swallowing Eric.
“I’m no doctor, but I helped once…I’ll try my very best", he said to Negan before his glance wandered over to you.
“Trust me”, Eric said while you responded with a nod because you couldn’t get a word out of your mouth.
You tried to calm yourself a bit down as the pain left your body, but you knew that it would come back, and that it would come back even worse.
You looked at your hand that was still grabbed tight around Negans and made his turn pale.
You shocked loosend your grip as you saw how hard you had squeezed it.
“No, no, its fucking okay, just keep doing it”, he said pulling your hand back into his after he had seen your glance.
“Thanks”, you forced with the last energy out of your trembling lips while he began letting his thumb circle soothing over the back of your hand.
“Any fucking time”, he said with a slight smile on his lips.
You stayed like that for not long until the next contraction started that was even worse than the others before and it just kept going like that.
Contraction.
Break.
Contraction.
Break and it just went on and on, while the breaks became smaller and the contractions so worse that you had the feeling that it would break your body.
You don’t know how long it went on like that but it felt like a eternity.
“Alright, (Y/N) you have to press”, said Eric and seemed to sound as calm as he could.
You followed his directions but it just felt like it helped nothing while the pain tortured you.
You heard Negan saying words and even if your pounding head and the gaze the pain had laid over you didnt let you hear what he was saying, his voice somehow calmed you a bit down.

The pain of the contraction finally decreased slowly and left you completely done.
Your ribcage went uncontrollably up and down and you felt as weak as never before.
“I don’t know how long I can go on”, you stumbled, your voice trembling almost as much as your whole body while you looked over to Negan.
“Alright, listen Sweetheart, you seem like a fucking brave and strong woman and I fucking bet you’ve went through a whole shitload of crap so you’ll fucking make it through this too”, Negan said calmly while he soothing squeezed your hand.
You nodded slowing your breath down and laying back into the pillow.
Suddenly Eric’s face went as white as a ghost.
“Whats wrong?”, you heard Negan ask concerned.
You looked to Eric and saw his hands and lower arms completely covered in blood while he stared swallowing over to Negan.
”I don’t think that much blood is normal”, it blustered out of his mouth while his eyes were widened.
Your breath got heavier again, while your body began shaking harder.
You didnt know what to do anymore.
Your head was muddled trough all the pain and your body felt like it couldnt take much more burden.
“What now?”, was the only thing you could get out of your mouth.
“I…I make it somehow happen..we have to go through this, theres no other way I can think of”, said Eric exhausted but still determined.
You saw yourself already dead, worse, your child dead and the thoughts of that made the panic increase and your eyes widened, while you began to quietly whimper.
“Shh, you’re doing a fucking great job (Y/N). You’re gonna make it through this, alright? We’re gonna deliver your baby fucking healthy, I fucking promise”, Negan said before he brought your hand to his face and brushed his lips over its back while his thumb kept circling soothing over it.
You tried to allow the feeling to calm you down, you didnt want the pain to take over your head even if it seemed often like it almost did.
And after a few moment his actions actually calmed you a little bit down before the next time wanted to test you again.
Eric did all he could.
Carl glanced supporting at you even if you saw how hard it was for him.
Negan kept sitting next to you, stood by your side the whole time, held your hand and somehow found the right words.
And you, you were trying your best to stay determined and not let the horrible pain get you down that kept trying to conquer your head after it had overtaken your body.
You don’t know how long it stayed like that.
How long the pain washed over you like a wave that tried to drown you again and again.
And even if it seemed almost impossible to you, Negan was definitely one of the reasons you could keep up.

You were almost completely down and out as you heard a scream and with that one moment you were complete awake again.
As your view began to be clear again was the first thing you saw Negan, his face turned away from you but you could still recognize how amazed and speechless he looked into a specific direction.
You followed his glance and saw how Eric walked towards you with a little body in his arms.
The little body of your baby.
As you felt how it was laid onto your chest, the feeling of pure happiness streamed through your whole body and seemed to wash all the pain out of it.
The last hours suddenly didnt matter anymore for now, they were more than worth it.
You looked at the little human that laid just covered by a small blanket in your arms while you felt how warm tears of happiness rolled down your cheeks.
After some time your glance went up and you saw into the faces of Carl, Eric and also Negan whose glances were directed on you and your child.
You smiled overjoyed and couldnt even stop doing so.
You were exhausted but you didnt care about that for now, you were just happy that your child laid healthy in your arms after that torture of birth.
You heard a knock on the door and just moments later a savior came in.
“Boss, the night has already descended. We should maybe leave…”, said the man with a nervous undertone.
“A third of you stay here with me over the night, the others leave. I don’t fucking care who… and now get the fuck out”, growled Negan before he looked back at you.
You looked asking at him before walked a bit towards you.
“Just wanna be on the fucking save side that you’re both doing well”, he said with a small smile on his lips.
It was not alike the saucy grin he had on face when you were standing by the gates, no, this time and also the whole time he was standing by your side it was a honest friendly smile you would never have expected from him.
You should hate him for what he had done and was still doing to your friends, but after these endless hours he had shown another side and you couldnt leave that side unnoticed.
Negan sat down next to you on the cot looked from you to your child after he had softly brushed a strand of hair out of your face.
“Thats some fucking miracle, huh?”, he said looking at the little bundle of joy in your arms.
“Yeah, it is”, you muttered smiling while you the hand of your baby wrapped around your finger.
“I’ll let you everything here you fucking need, you’re not gonna have to fucking worry about anything”, he muttered half in thoughts before he looked with a half smile up and you could see in his glance that he absolutely meant it.

That man who was a monster had also a humane side in him left you couldn’t deny and he didnt just proved it through the birth where he had stood by your side the whole time, he also stayed the whole night after it with you, making sure that you were alright.
You got to see this side of him even more and more and somehow, you seemed to let this side of him grow.

tagging: @myrabbitholetoneverland
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Dilemma

Yeon spent the next few months with Jay more, than she was with Jun Seo. They went to movies, out to eat, hung out at arcades, chilled at his place, and every once in awhile clubbed together. With Jun Seo she went out to dinner, he took her bowling, the amusement park. She tried to spend more of her nights with Jun Seo, because of school, but also she liked being with Jay in the day time more as well. When he wasn’t doing business for AOMG, looking for artists, and doing his own songs. 

True to his word, her father rented out of her spot in Seoul, close to school but also home for her to live in. She had moved all her things to her new place and had bought more. Just as she was pulling her couch to a different wall, Jay knocked on her door. Yeon hurried over, licking her lips, adjusting her off shoulder sweater top, she opened the door. 

“Happy..home warming?” He held out a vase full of orchids. 

“Well aren’t you a sweetheart?” Yeon took the flowers from him, turning away from the door. “Can you lock it behind you?” 

Jay looked around at her place. Spacious for one person living here, and he knee the neighborhood as well. “This place was pricey huh?” He took his shoes off, following her the rest of the way inside her home, to find her filling the vase with fresh water. 

“I don’t know, didn’t pay for it.” She set the vase on the counter, coming from behind it, her arms open. 

Jay grinned wrapping his arms around her, his lips lingered on her shoulder, kissing the warm skin he found there. 

“Daddy’s girl, through and through.” He let her go, moving to sit down at the island bar. “So, what are you doing now?” 

She smirked, hand on her hip. “I just moved the couch, and I have some boxes piled in that hall with things in them to set up. We can do my room first though. I got this idea from pintrest, and I had to do it.” 

She motioned for him with a finger, and Jay followed her to her room. His eyes were on her hips, in her cotton shorts. She wasn’t wearing any underwear that much he could tell, and he suppressed a moan, as she bent over picking up a box. 

“Can you get that box?” She pointed with her foot and turned left into a door. 

He picked it up, half wondering how much manual labor he would have to do and what was going to be his present for doing so, when he turned into her room and she was sprawled across her bed. 

“What do you think?” Yeon asked as he set the box down, taking in the view. 

“Of the room, or the goddess on the bed?” He gave her his typical wink and crooked smile. 

Yeon rolled her eyes, rolling off the bed. “Don’t even start. Gray and white, but it’s gonna be real girly, sequins and sparkle and glass.” 

She kept on talking about her vision, as he helped her set up the room. Fake fur blanket on the foot of the bed, her white vanity, with crystals knobs installed. When they were finished, he laid down on her bed, hands over his eyes. 

“I didn’t think you’d work me so hard. I’m tired.” Yeon straddled his waist, hands on his chest, rubbing in small circles. 

Jay had put his hands down, putting them on her waist, moving her sweater to rub the skin under it. “Do I get a treat?” 

“Like?” She leaned down, propping herself up on her elbows on his chest. 

Jay winced in pain, moving her arms so they were around his head, he pulled her down, her lips were close to his. “Don’t play hard to get, you know what I’m looking for.” 

Yeon rolled her hips on his body, earning a groan from him, she let her lips brush over his, then immediately backed off him and stood up walking out the door. “Just help me do the living room, and we can order food.” 

Jay mumbled to himself about teasing females, and willed little Jay back down, before he got up and walked to the living room ready to be her slave. As they were working, Yeon asked him to head back to her room, for some pillows in her closet. Jay walked past her vanity just as her phone let out a beep for a message. He knew he shouldn’t, but he was nosy, he could admit that. Looking down at her phone he saw a name. Jun Seo, the preview of the message, said:

Did you get your place set up jagi?

Jay made a face. Who was that? He took the pillows back to the living room, handing them to her full of questions, but was it his place? They had been talking, hanging out and together now for three months. To him, he considered that dating. He had seen no one else, talked to no other female. Yeon was his woman. Did she see it that way? Was he supposed to just ask her to be his girl? She asked him to grab something else from her room, and he went back again, hearing her phone beep two more times as he walked down the hall. Taking a peek at her phone it was the same name. 

Jun Seo: Jagi…

Jun Seo: You must be busy. I’ll..

The rest of the message was cut off, and he hurried back to the living room, handing her a lamp. Just as the living room was finished, she sat on the couch, patting the place next to her, an ipad in her hands. 

“What do you want to eat?” She asked, throwing her leg over his thighs. 

Jay bit his bottom lip, he wanted to ask her so bad. “What do you normally get?” 

She shrugged her shoulders. “There’s a good Japanese place not too far from here, I’ll get us some teriyaki.” She began pushing buttons on the ipad. 

“Do you have water?” She peeked over the top of her ipad. 

“I’m sorry Jay, I’m a bad hostess. Yea, look in the fridge, there should be water bottles.” She went back to looking over the menu.

As he got up, Jay opened the fridge, choosing his words carefully. “So, have you made friends in class? Hanging out with some people here?” 

She seemed to stiffen up, at his words. “What do you mean?”

He sighed. Mentally willing her not to lie to him. “Friends. Have you made any?” 

She set the ipad down, coming over to the kitchen. “A few. Some of the girls are nice, I think they are just…looking at me like a foreigner. I like a few though.” She grabbed a water bottle as well, opening it. 

He nodded at her, smiling. “I was just wondering. Making sure, you didn’t need more time with me or anything.” 

Yeon wiped her mouth on her sleeve. “Please, I see enough of you.” She said jokingly. 

Jay nodded his head. “Go to dinner with me, tonight?”

Yeon stopped on her way back to the couch. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Why?” He didn’t want to get confrontational, but she was pushing him. “I feel like I really only see you during the day time. Someone else spends the nights with you?” 

Ok, he was getting testy with her, he knew, but he couldn’t stand secrets. He didn’t like feeling like he could be a secret. 

Yeon raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t it be the other way around? I would only see you at night, if you were a secret. To answer your question, no. I have…family business at night, mostly.” 

That was a hell of a convoluted answer if he ever heard one, but who was he to judge? He let it go for now. “Ok, dinner with me at my place, this Saturday. I wont take no for an answer.” 

Yeon laid her head back against the sofa. “So thirsty for me.” She sat up smiling. “Yes, I’ll be there. Casual?”

“It’s always casual with me.” Jay replied, walking back towards her. 

They ate lunch together, and watched a little bit of TV, towards the evening Jay had to go back to the office, a new artist was coming to perform for him, and he couldn’t be late. He spent an additional 15 minutes kissing her goodbye, and when he finally left, he forgot about ever seeing her phone. She was happy when she was with him, she gave him all of her attention, maybe it was just a friend. Maybe it was just someone, who thought he could be more. She was his though, he shouldn’t worry. Yeon had closed her door, touching her lips, and sighing. She wanted Jay, and bad, but she couldn’t just let Jun Seo know that. Her father know that. Or could she? He always pushed her too hard, the best grades, the best schools. She tried too hard to please him, and look where it got her now. She was expected once again, to drop anything she wanted and do what he told her to. She was tired of it. She wanted him to accept her, and love her for who she was. Not this makeshift person he was trying to make her be. She felt the tears come to her eyes and willed them away, she wasn’t going to cry over something so petty. What should she do? What could she do? She was falling hard for Jay, but her father wanted her to have Jun Seo, why was her world like this? 

On the way to her parent’s home, Jun Seo called her.

“What are you doing? Didn’t you get my texts earlier?

“I did, I’m sorry, I was busy setting up my place, it’s done now. I’m on my way to my parents to eat dinner with them.” She turned into her parents driveway, parking. 

“Ah, what are you doing later tonight? Maybe, I could come see you? Bring a bottle of wine?” If she said no, that would be rude, considering she went to his house. 

At the same time, she didn’t hold her liquor well, and the last time, they were together and alone. No, she could control herself, that was something completely different. She just didn’t feel for Jun Seo like that, no matter how handsome he was, how deep his voice was, and how soft his hands were, or how good he could make her feel. 

“I don’t know…I have a paper to write.” 

He pleaded with her. “It’s not that late. I wont stay long then. Please, jagi?”

She hated that he felt like he was so familiar he could call her that. “Jun Seo…”

“I already know where you live. I won’t stay long, I promise. I’ll see you in two hours. Go eat with your parents, bye.” He hung up the phone before she could answer. 

When she heard the dial tone, she sighed, bumping her head against her steering wheel. “Does no one fucking care, what I want?” 

Inside her parents home, she was lectured once again by her father. Good grades, maintaining her new place, on the condition she did very well in school. Don’t party so much. Her mother shot her an apologetic smile, before stopping her husband. 

“Jesus, Yobo, you are going to talk her ear off. Yeon knows what to do. She is a grown woman, please give her some space.” Her mother winked at her, before continuing eating. 

“You are my daughter. My only child. I want what is best for you.” He set his chopsticks down, looking at her. 

Yeon put her head down. “Don’t I get to say what is bets for me?”

Her father stopped his wine from coming towards his mouth. “Excuse me?” 

Better late than never. Yeon sat her head up, facing her father. “I know what I want. I know what I like. I know what I have to do. You push me too much abeoji. Please, let me breathe. Let me be myself.” 

Her father raised an eyebrow, setting his glass down. “You may be out of my house, but do not forget who provides for you, Park Yeon.” 

She clenched her teeth, hands balling into fists. “That isn’t fair.” 

“Life isn’t fair. Now I’m changing the subject. How are you and Jun Seo?” Her father drank his wine. 

“He tells you everything, doesn’t he? You should know. I haven’t really seen him in awhile, I’ve been busy.” She drank her water, still angry. 

“Yeon watch your tone.” Her mother replied. 

“He did tell me that. He thinks you have been avoiding him. Enough of that, he is a good man. He will be a good husband. He wants to take you to Jeju Island this weekend. Go with him.” Yeon slapped her chopsticks down on her plate. 

“No. No, I wont go, I have plans this weekend, and I won’t go with him. Why couldn’t he ask me that? Why does he have to go through you, like I don’t have my own brain? Like I don’t make my own decisions? I’m sick of this!” She stood up from the table, pointing at her father. “First, you take me from Atlanta, take me from the school I love and all my friends, and then you make me come back to Korea, and start over here. Why! To use me as your pawn? To force me into a relationship with some man, I don’t even know!” 

“Yeon, please.” Her mother held a hand up, trying to calm her. “Sit down.” 

“I won’t!” Yeon screamed. “I don’t love him, and I will never will.” 

She ran from the dining room, into the foyer, grabbing her shoes and her keys. She could hear her mother, yelling for her to come back, as she left out the front door. In her car, angry tears fell down her face, she wanted to go to Jay. She dialed his number as she drive through the streets of Seoul to her house. His voicemail answered, and she didn’t leave a message. He was busy, he had no time to deal with her and her family drama. Once, she was home, Yeon pulled a blanket onto her light brown legs, laying down in the darkness.  

She was half asleep when her doorbell rang, she got up from her couch sleepily and looked at the video feed. It was Jun Seo, god not right now, and she pressed the button for the elevator, waiting for him to knock on her door. Once he did, she opened it. 

“I fell asleep, look Jun Seo-” 

He grabbed her waist, startling her as he turned her so he could close the door behind her. His mouth quickly descended over hers, as he pressed her body into the door. Yeon yelped, putting her hands up on his chest, trying to push him away, but Jun Seo held onto her hands with one of his, biting her lower lip roughly.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day.” His lips moved to her neck. 

“Stop, Jun Seo, stop,” She pushed at him, her eyes angry. “I am not in the mood, at all.” 

He held up a wine bottle smiling at her. “I can get you there.” 

Yeon rolled her eyes, her hair coming out of her messy top knot. “Were you drinking already?” He smelled like hard liquor. 

Jun Seo grinned at her, before turning away deeper into her home. “Maybe, a little. Come drink with me, Jagi. Maybe, we can play like we did last time.” 

He wagged his tongue out at her, and Yeon shivered, that was not attractive. “You are drunk, and youre being rough. I don’t like it. Please leave, Jun Seo. I won’t ask you again.” 

He sighed, putting a hand on his face.”I haven’t seen you in what? Four days? Why are you being so mean to me? Is that the American in you? Be nice to Oppa.” He came towards her, hands making grabby motions. 

For a minute, Yeon was legitimately afraid and she backed away from him. “If you touch me, I will scream. Go home now, and sleep it off.” 

She moved towards her door, waiting for him to leave. Jun Seo grinned, walking towards her. “You play hard to get, but I know you want me. Remember how wet you were?” He reached a hand out, stroking her face. “Let’s play nice now, come inside, drink with me, and let me make you scream in Korean. You sound so cute, when you speak Korean. Let’s make your daddy happy.” 

That set her off, Yeon grabbed his hand that was on her face, using her Ju JitSu skills to twist his hand, making him move out the door. “Go home and sleep Jun Seo, think about what you just said to me. Then fuck off.” 

She slammed the door, walking back to her kitchen to pour the wine down the sink. She could hear him knocking on the door, then it got silent and she hoped he had left. As she lay in bed, Yeon closed her eyes, wondering when this roller coaster was going to end.

That Saturday proved to be a better day. She woke up to Jay, apologizing on voice messages and in text. Work ran longer than normal, he had too many things to do but tonight, they were still on. Jun Seo had called and left several voice messages, begging her forgiveness. He had even sent flowers to her house. She texted him back, telling him that she wasn’t going to put up with that, and that she wanted to cool it for awhile, he understood but; to her dismay kept asking to see her and apologize in person. 

That night she just wanted to be with Jay and as she stood at his building waiting to be buzzed up, she fixed her hair. She let her curls hang loose, a silver headband on her head, she arranged the hair around it. Jay opened his door, giving her a kiss, pulling her inside. It smelled amazing. 

“What are you making?” She took off her shoes, following him to his kitchen. 

“Shish Kabobs, burgers, corn, and I grilled some chicken. My own marinades.” He was wearing black shorts that came to his knees, nike slides, and a V neck shirt with some designs on the front. His normally long hair, was freshly shaved on the sides, the top gelled and parted on one side of his face. 

He was so attractive, pointing to where she could sit, as soft music came over the speakers located somewhere in her house. She recognized it as John Legend. 

“I’m excited.” Yeon replied as he set a beer in front of her, drinking his own as he began to fix a plate for her.

“Well, you’re going to love my cooking, maybe so much you’ll fall in love with me.” He grinned at her winking. 

Yeon toyed with the feathers on her long gold necklace. “You wouldn’t have to work that hard.” 

Jay looked up at her, watching her lick her lips as she looked at him. “Don’t tease me, woman.” 

“I’m not.” Just as a moment was beginning to happen, her phone rang, and she fished it out of her purse, looking at it, sighing. 

“If it’s not family, not tonight, baby. I got too many plans.” He picked up two plates, carrying them to a table behind her. 

“Get, your beer, but let me grab some waters.” He moved back towards the fridge, before sitting down across from her. 

As they ate, Yeon had left her phone on his kitchen counter, but it buzzed two more times. She ignored it, but Jay couldn’t. He got up picking up her phone, looking down at the screen. 

“You know, not even my friends call and text me, this much. Especially, if I tell them I’m on  date.” He held her phone up. “Who is Jun Seo?”

Yeon swallowed her saliva, her heart stopped in her chest. “A friend.” 

“Friends. Don’t call this much, baby. See the thing is, he calls you jagi, that’s reserved for men who like you. Who want more, see you as a romantic partner.” Jay set her phone down on the counter, his hand covering it. “I’ve been dating you damn near three months now, and I’ve noticed his name on your phone before. So, why don’t you tell me the truth. I don’t share.” 

“I don’t remember you asking me to be your girlfriend.” Yeon turned her face away from him. 

“Ok.” Jay crossed the room, standing in front of her. “So, me seeing you exclusively, isn’t what that is? I won’t ask you again. Who is Jun Seo?” 

Yeon sighed. “He works for my dad. My father wants me to date him, in the hopes that I marry him-but-.”

Jay held up a hand, he walked around the table, and pulled out a chair next to her. “Run that by me again. So, you’ve been seeing him? and me?”

“Yes and no. Let me finish, Jay.” She reached for his hand, which he promptly took from her.

“Finish.” 

She explained to him, how her father made her move back here from Atlanta. How he sprung Jun Seo on her, and how she knew him before she knew Jay. That she needed to please her father, she would make no commitments because, she wanted to do her own thing. Then, she started to fall for him, she hung out with Jay more than she did Jun Seo, she didn’t have sex with him, she hadn’t seen him in about a week. She didn’t kiss him, she only did that with Jay. She knew who she wanted. 

“I don’t share baby, I won’t do it.” Jay crossed his arms over his chest. 

“I’m not asking you too.” She answered, hands on her face. 

“I want you, Yeon. I want you to want only me. Do you want me? Do you want to be my woman?” He turned her chair towards him, pulling her hands from her face. “I understand what’s going on, I understand the pressure that is on you, but no more. You will not see him again, I won’t have it. Now, answer me.” 

Yeon picked her head up, looking into his eyes. He wasn’t hurt, by her actions, or at least he didn’t show it. He cupped her chin in his hand, as her fingers skated down his tattooed arm. 

“Yes, I want you, and I’m yours.” 

Chapter Five