she was willing to give up a lot in her life to stay with him which is pretty incredible

The Major Arcana as People You Meet In College

0. The Fool: The freshman. He’s fascinated by the fact he just entered college, plans on joining every club imaginable, and thinks he can handle 8AM classes. Still wears his lanyard around his neck.

I. The Magician:The one who actually has all their shit together, lives off of campus and works a real-person job. Probably works out too. You want to not like them for it but they’re too nice.

II. The High Priestess: She’s kinda quiet and reserved, but if you talk to her she’s really smart and knows a lot of fun random facts. The sweet one that unexpectedly knows a lot of fucked up shit and freaks your friends out at a party for a few minutes that one time.

III. The Empress: She’s a junior when you get to college, but she likes you a lot and shows you around. She’s a big help and tells you about local deals on food. Buys you alcohol for the party but then makes sure you stay safe when you’re drunk. Very attractive, probably gay.

IV. The Emperor: This guy is probably older than you, and tends to give really good advice when you have drama. Sometimes his male privilege goes really unchecked but he’s willing to learn and know better. Designated driver.

V. The Hierophant: Absolutely can’t cope with the fact that underage drinking is a real thing. Straight A’s, probably on some Student Government board or faculty-built club that encourages good student conduct. Kinda snobby so you don’t talk to them much, but their help in Physics class was the only reason you passed.

VI. The Lovers: You’ve never known these people to not be dating. They’re basically already married and you’re basically their first child. When The Fool comes around you get upgraded to Aunt or Uncle or something. They give good relationship advice.

VII. The Chariot: He’s friends with all the right people, gets away with outrageous antics and never gets in trouble. Always has tickets to that concert you want. Cocky with a heart of gold. Smooth af. Probably tries to ask you on a date.

VIII. Strength: Deals with way more shit than you do. Holds your arm so you don’t rip somebody’s neck out when that person tries to pick a fight. Says they’ll “deal with” the creeper who’s been stalking you. You have no idea what she said to them, but they never approach you again.

IX. The Hermit: The friend that everyone likes, wise beyond their years. Every time you invite them to hang out, they’re busy with homework or something else comes up, even though they’re legitimately not trying to avoid you. Meditates daily. Forgets about that huge campus event you go to every year.

X. The Wheel of Fortune: You meet in a class and hit it off really well. You guys are close for a while, and you learn some life lessons and gain some new interests or viewpoints. The new semester rolls around and they basically fall off the face of the map.

XI. Justice: The friend who almost got alcohol poisoning once and completely changed their life afterwards. They’re much more stable now and seem a lot happier. They invite you to a bonfire at some point.

XII. The Hanged Man: He’s kind of a weird guy, but in a way that you still like hanging out with him. Has drastically different views about the world than the rest of your friends, which leads to a lot of really in-depth, interesting discussions. You emerge from that friendship a lot smarter.

XIII. Death: The one that finally managed to convince you to drop that club, break up with that person, or quit that destructive habit. Their solution for everything seems to be hard cut offs, you’re both impressed and intimidated by it.

XIV. Temperance:The student tutor you finally go to in an hour of need. They manage to completely salvage your paper from the brink of despair in under an hour. You feel like you have been touched by an angel.

XV. The Devil:Invites you to his birthday party, which is by far the trashiest situation you ever experience. Meanwhile, he gets tanked, calls somebody a string of offensive slurs, then does a line of cocaine. You don’t speak anymore.

XVI. The Tower: They seem cool and all, you talk now and then but are still getting to know them. Then, you hear them say something INCREDIBLY problematic or hear down the grape vine about their old sexual assault charges. You can’t look at them the same way anymore and now just thinking about how you used to hang out leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

XVII. The Star: That faculty member you LOVE. She helps you build your schedule, helps you fix your grade in the class, and reminds you that some people aren’t so bad after all.

XVIII. The Moon: Things are pretty good. You have a solid relationship going with somebody, then this asshole shows up and now you have to rethink everything about your current relationship and if they’re really worth dumping someone over. You agonize over it, not knowing what you want, until it just kinda awkwardly blows over and you figure out they aren’t into your gender anyway.

XIX. The Sun: This person is the one always sharing mildly-political information on Facebook. Before you know it, you’re freshly passionate about the causes you care for the most, and still educated on the ones you don’t put as much energy into. You cared about these things before, but they’re the person that armed you with the knowledge you needed to actually have constructive dialogue about it.

XX. Judgement: Best friends with Justice, and is remodeling her entire life. You don’t hang out with her often so the next time you see her she has a new hobby, new major, new hairstyle, and has probably stopped talking to certain members of her family. It was tough but she seems better for it.

XXI. The World: Your person. They stick with you from year one to when you graduate. You complement each other really well. You still make healthy time for other people but they’re still your best friend. Eventually when you get older they’ll have a kid and name it after you probably.

eyeslacedwithsmoke  asked:

Thiam headcanon where Liam (or Theo your choice) won't shut up and everyone is getting hella annoyed at the rant (even though he's making a valid point) and before anyone says anything Theo (or Liam ) just straight up kisses him to shut him up. And not like a peck like a FULL BLOWN KISS. And shocks everyone into silence. What happens after is your choose I just really wanna see this

OOH WHAT A PROMPT!! thank you SO MUCH!! as always i am totally ready for new hc prompts. i love you all :D

  • when liam starts comparing supernatural things to historical events, stiles gets it. understanding and rationalizing the (pretty wacky) supernatural can lead a person to do some crazy things. human behavior, at least for the most part, is predictable and rational.
  • and a lot of times, stiles appreciates it. liam, for all he comes across as anger anger go go rawr, is one of the more well-read military history buffs stiles knows and when he picks liam’s brain, the connections liam makes are, frankly, inspiring. it’s saved their asses on occasion, when everything they’ve come up with isn’t viable for one reason or another
  • unfortunately, it’s the opposite of helpful when it comes to a plan already in motion. 
  • a group of sidhe (which stiles quickly finds out are lydia’s supernatural cousins, which is amusing for about two seconds–or until lydia starts glaring at him for teasing her) has come to beacon hills and they’re starting to kidnap young girls and women as brides, which obviously has to stop
  • but the sidhe never do anything for free: even their information has a price. they’re old-fashioned that way. besides, they’re only ever bound to their word; otherwise, they can and will do anything to convince you to stay, and they’re the absolute masters of half-truths, which makes them dangerous to bargain with.

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The promised thoughts inspired by this post is, what it comes down to is I think a lot of people read s3e1 and Lotor’s defeat of Throk alone as his Establishing Character Moment, when, I think what cements Lotor’s personality is that scene, but also, s3e2 and Puig.

Twice, we see Lotor carefully plan, and, with the generals’ backing, execute a preemptive strike. He isolates and defeats his enemy, and then launches his plan, both times using it as a talking point for his own agenda.

The differences, however, stand out.

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anonymous asked:

What do you think changed for Bill and Hillary after 1998 that helped him stop the philandering cycle? Had they done therapy before?

Well, the good news is, we can let them speak for themselves on this topic. I’m making a conscious choice to not use sources that don’t provide direct quotes from both of them, and sticking with three in particular: Living History, My Life, and Hillary’s Talk Magazine interview from 1999. There’s also a quick excerpt from May 2017′s New York Magazine interview. I wanted to add some bits from the Blair Papers in as well, but the length is already a bit out of control.

If you’re reading this and think the Clintons are lying about how they frame their marriage when discussing it publicly, then this post probably won’t do much for you.


Had they done therapy before?

I’ll start here, as it’s a pretty cut-and-dry one. Based on Hillary’s own words in the New York Magazine article from May 2017, the marital counselling after Lewinsky was the first and only time they did any kind of therapy together. Bill may have had therapy/counseling as an individual in the past, but the 90′s was the only time HRC went through any kind of counseling herself, and the only time they did as a couple:

Remembering Election Night and the inauguration, I can’t help but think that Clinton’s ability to set aside her own feelings might be useful but perhaps not entirely healthy. I ask her if she’s ever been in therapy, and she shakes her head. “Unh-uh. No. I have not.” When I express surprise, she allows, “Well, we had some marital counseling in the late ’90s, around our very difficult time, but that’s all.”

She shrugs. “That’s not how I roll. I’m all for it for anybody who’s at all interested in it. It’s just not how I deal with stuff.” [New York Magazine]


What do you think changed for Bill and Hillary after 1998 that helped him stop the philandering cycle?

A few things to start:

I need to preface that I do, indeed, believe that Bill stopped cheating after 1998. My posts here (regarding where I generally stand on interpreting the nature of their marriage) and here (regarding rumors about him cheating in the 2000s onward) cover that - so my answer will align with your phrasing of the question in that the cycle did indeed stop. Again, if you’re reading this and don’t believe that he stopped cheating, much of this won’t mean a lot to you.

So, to your question, what changed - and why did the cycle stop, this time?

(1) They attended marital counseling for the first time. It was extensive - for a full year, and weekly. Per both of them, they began discussing things about themselves, their marriage, their histories, etc. that they had never really dug into before. As HRC says in 2017, “That’s not how I roll.” She’s never been a soul-barer, and from what I outline below, WJC had never really faced the root of his own issues, either. So what changed this time was a willingness to start uncovering the core of the issues they faced in the 80s in their marriage, really surfacing them, and talking through them together with openness and honesty.

Hillary and I also began a serious counseling program, one day a week for about a year. For the first time in my life, I actually talked openly about feelings, experiences, and opinions about life, love, and the nature of relationships. I didn’t like everything I learned about myself or my past, and it pained me to face the fact that my childhood and the life I’d led since growing up had made some things difficult for me that seemed to come more naturally to other people. (Bill Clinton, My Life)

We continued with our regular counseling sessions, which forced us to ask and answer hard questions that years of non-stop campaigning had allowed us to postpone. By now, I wanted to save our marriage, if we could. (Hillary Clinton, Living History)

The simple act of talking - openly communicating - comes up a lot in their writing about the recovery of their marriage, in combination with an admission that it’s not something they had really done before that point in terms of discussing their own personal issues in great depth. If you’ve been married (or in a substantially long-term relationship), you’ll understand exactly how much this matters, and exactly how damaging it was that this hadn’t really happened up until the 90′s. That’s not to say they didn’t talk about their marital issues at all - it’s that they hadn’t taken time to be (1) deeply introspective enough to uncover everything (see: WJC’s note that some of what was discussed was for the first time), and (2) whatever issues they had uncovered in the past had never really been resolved (see HRC’s point above re: postponing answering the hard questions).

So, they pushed aside deep self-reflection up until they really faced it head-on together in the 90′s. That has so much to do with why the 90′s saw the end of the cycle. They asked and answered the hard questions, at last.

(2) Beyond just marital counseling sessions, they kept on communicating, and they got to know each other again as spouses, and as two people who loved each other, beyond just the fulfilling work they did together through public service. You’ll hear this common thread from a lot of folks who go through marital counselling - this idea of “getting to know each other again”.

In the long counseling sessions and our conversations about them afterward, Hillary and I also got to know each other again, beyond the work and ideas we shared and the child we adored. I had always loved her very much, but not always very well. I was grateful that she was brave enough to participate in the counseling. We were still each other’s best friend, and I hoped we could save our marriage. Meanwhile, I was still sleeping on a couch, this one in the small living room that adjoined our bedroom. I slept on that old couch for two months or more. I got a lot of reading, thinking, and work done, and the couch was pretty comfortable, but I hoped I wouldn’t be on it forever. (Bill Clinton, My Life)

I think I survived because of a combination of soul-searching and relying on friends, the support of people who give advice, religious faith, long and hard discussions. (Hillary Clinton, Talk Magazine 1999)

“Bill has been subjected to so much abuse … he doesn’t make any excuses for what he did. But the reaction was unprecedented and harmful to the country … People are mean. I think it’s a real disservice, the way we sort of strip away everybody’s sense of dignity, of privacy. People need support, not disdain. … And you know, we did have a very good stretch,” she adds later, referring to the period after Gennifer Flowers. “Years and years of nothing.” And how they repaired their connection this time? “We talk. We talk in the solarium, in the bedroom, in the kitchen – it’s just a constant conversation…” she gives a tired smile. “We like to lie in bed and watch old movies.” (Hillary Clinton, Talk Magazine 1999)

(3) Bill further received personal therapy/counseling independently, much of it from religious leaders, to discover and deal with his own issues. This may be ongoing, still.

…I would pursue counseling from pastors and others to find, with God’s help, “a willingness to give the very forgiveness I seek, a renunciation of the pride and the anger which cloud judgment, lead people to excuse and compare and to blame and complain.” We would pray, read scripture, and discuss some things I had never really talked about before. The Reverend Bill Hybels from Chicago also continued to come to the White House regularly, to ask searching questions designed to check my “spiritual health.” Even though they were often tough on me, the pastors took me past the politics into soul-searching and the power of God’s love. (Bill Clinton, My Life)

I also came to understand that when I was exhausted, angry, or feeling isolated and alone, I was more vulnerable to making selfish and self-destructive personal mistakes about which I would later be ashamed. The current controversy was the latest casualty of my lifelong effort to lead parallel lives, to wall off my anger and grief and get on with my outer life, which I loved and lived well. During the government shutdowns I was engaged in two titanic struggles: a public one with Congress over the future of our country, and a private one to hold the old demons at bay. I had won the public fight and lost the private one. (Bill Clinton, My Life)

Some of this included uncovering and opening up about abuse he suffered as a child, and the impact that had on his adult life.

“Yes, he has weaknesses. Yes, he needs to be more responsible, more disciplined, but it is remarkable given his background that he turned out to be the kind of person he is, capable of such leadership …” I tell Hillary I read in his mother’s autobiography, in which she wrote about the atmosphere of alcohol, violence, and chaos that forced her son to be the man of the house while he was still a child. Hillary leans over and says softly, “That’s only the half of it. He was so young, barely four, when he was scarred by abuse that he can’t even take it out and look at it.” (Hillary Clinton, Talk Magazine 1999)

[Note: Some of the language in the Talk Magazine article on the topic of childhood abuse were walked back/softened afterwards, but I believe they are true. Topic for a different post.]


Now, I want to continue to answer the unasked question that I think is incredibly important - why did she bother at all? Why did she fight for him? Why even instigate the counseling in the first place, if Lewinsky was just part of the cycle? In order for any of this to be effective, and for the cycle to end, there had to be a drive and a willingness.

(1) They had a lot of shit to fight for (and against), and they were willing to work through whatever issues they uncovered to stay together and make sure that could continue to do so. Bill needed to address his own infidelity and weaknesses, but the “bigger picture” for both of them never went away. And that seems to have so much to do with why they (she, in particular) kept on fighting to make it work - she believed in what they were fighting for, and she believed him to be good and worthy. His infidelity did not overshadow that for her.

Bill and I had agreed to participate in regular marital counseling to determine whether or not we were going to salvage our marriage. On one level, I was emotionally shell-shocked and trying to deal with the raw wound I had suffered. On another level, I believed Bill was a good person and a great President. I viewed the independent counsel’s assault on the Presidency as an ever escalating political war, and I was on Bill’s side. (Hillary Clinton, Living History)

“Now she was arguing the other side, explaining to Democrats in Congress with legalistic dispassion why her husband’s actions, while deplorable, were not impeachable. ‘She was very effective and certainly won him the support of the Democratic caucus,’ says Congresswoman Nita Lowey. (Talk Magazine 1999)

She turns to me now with startling intensity. “I don’t believe in denying things. I believe in working through it. Is he ashamed? Yes. Is he sorry? Yes. But does this negate everything he has done as a husband, a father, a president? … And what is so amazing is that Bill has not been defeated by this. There has been enormous pain, enormous anger, but I have been with him half my life and he is a very, very good man. We just have a deep connection that transcends whatever happens.(Hillary Clinton, Talk Magazine 1999)

(2) They have an absolute, deep, endless, abiding love.

And, well, the most important part of all, right?

And, most important, Hillary stood with me and loved me through it all. From the time we first met, I had loved her laugh. In the midst of all the absurdity, we were laughing again, brought back together by our weekly counseling and our shared determination to fight off the right-wing coup. I almost wound up being grateful to my tormentors: they were probably the only people who could have made me look good to Hillary again. I even got off the couch. (Bill Clinton, My Life)

“You know people have a lot of daily problems in relationships. Everybody has some dysfunction in their families. They have to deal with it. You don’t just walk away if you love someone - you help the person.” (Hillary Clinton, Talk Magazine 1999)

And, my favorite excerpt of all, from that 1999 Talk Magazine article.

Does she believe, I wonder, that you don’t leave someone you love under any circumstances? “You have to know the real quality of the person,” she says thoughtfully. “You have to be alert to it, vigilant in helping. I thought this was resolved 10 years ago. I thought he had conquered it, but he didn’t go deep enough or work hard enough.”

“What’s the part of the Bible that deals with this?” she had asked at one point.

“Corinthians?” I suggested.

“Love endures all things? No, I love that, but I was thinking of when Peter betrayed Jesus three times and Jesus knew it, but loved him anyway. Life is not a linear progression. It has many paths and challenges. And we need to help one another.”

“And it is love, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is,” she said. “We have love.”

Blessing (Part One)

Pairing: Daryl x Reader

Word Count: 2184

Warnings: It’s so fluffy you might vomit, a little angst?

Notes: This was so fun to write, even if I did change it a little! And, again, there will be a part two! Thank you for the ask sugar! I hope you like it! Xox

Ask: Hello there! I wanna make a Daryl Dixon request where it takes place before the prison fell, and you two had been together since the beginning. And he wants to marry you but have Hershel marry the two of you, so he goes on a run and finds a ring then comes back and proposes in front of everyone, maybe ending with some smutty goodness! I hope it’s not too much! Thanks bebe! 💕


Originally posted by reedusgif


You were sat on Daryl’s lap at one of the canteen tables in the prison, giggling as you cleaned guns. His lips were pressing soft kisses against your neck and you could feeling him grinning, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

“Daryl, stop!” you insisted, the barrel of the gun slipping from your hand. “You know I’m ticklish!”

“Sorry,” he muttered with a smirk, resting his chin on your shoulder as he watched you silently.

The two of you had met shortly after Rick and his motley crew had arrived at your father’s farm. Hershel being the man he was had invited them all to stay whilst Carl rested and, with some persuasion from you and Maggie, had eventually let them stay permanently.

It had taken you a long time to get Daryl’s attention; flirtatious looks and touches did not make it obvious enough to the archer that you were interested. So the two of you were just friends for a long time, as frustrating as that was, and you started to understand him, understand that he was shy and nervous around pretty much everyone; made sense he never picked up on anything remotely romantic. It was only when Shane came on a little too strong one night and wouldn’t take no for an answer that things changed…


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Tumblr prompt ( Jimin / OC)

Read Part 1 Here

Since i got a lot of requests for a part 2 on this one. This isn’t exactly a part two but a sort of a backdrop. i would probably continue this because it’s fun to write , i guess? 

Genre : Heavy Angst \ Romance

Warnings : Dubious Consent, Domestic Violence, Emotional Manipulation.

Pairing : Park Jimin/ OC

Request fic : An abusive marriage drabble with Jimin .

Rating : 19+

Part 2 : How We Met . 

I first met Jimin when i was eighteen years old. He was twenty three at the time, already one of the biggest stars in the country. His band BTS had won the BBMA, Daesangs, were generally acknowledged as the Kings of Kpop. I’d always had a crush on him, been one of those embarassing fangirls who sleep with photocards in the pillow covers. I had always been drawn to Jimin out of all seven of them, simply because he had seemed like such a very kind person.

And i hadn’t met a lot of those in my life. I wasn’t exactly very poor but my family had always struggled, as far as I knew. My mother ran a massage parlor in one of the seedier places in Seoul, and I knew that she did far more than just give ‘ massages’. Especially when she stuffed a 5000 Won note into my sister’s hand and told the both of us to stay out for a few hours.

When i was twelve, my mother let me know that I wasn’t really of any use to her.

“Your sister is beautiful. Like me. You take after your father. You’re too thin. No body at all. How will you help me with the business if you look like this. Go find a part time job where looks don’t matter.”

It was the first time i realized i wasn’t beautiful. Which was funny because i’d always been called pretty by the men who visited my mother. But her words made me curl in on myself and cry for days. It was like i didn’t magtter. Like I was an invisble person who had no value whatsoever, simply because i wasn’t beautiful enough to matter. 

When i was fifteen, I took up a job waitressing. it was another nail to my coffin. No one sees a waitress. We might as well be invisible. i had no one to talk to. No one willing enough to listen. i went on for days on end , not using my voice for anything except the generic, “ What would you like to have” , “ Was the meal okay “ and “ Please Eat well.” 

When I was sixteen , the clients to my mother’s shop began to dwindle.  My mother was becoming older and while my sister did help her, she was still underage. Which meant that there were some ‘ services’ she just couldn’t provide.  , i had to quit school because we could no longer afford to live on just part time jobs.

Times were tough and I clung to music, to help me get by. i started listening to a lot of music by different artists but Jimin’s voice always drew me in and made me drown. it felt like he too had been through a lot of pain as well. 

Like he knew what it was like to never be considered good enough. To always keep doubting yourself. And I felt , suddenly a little less alone. A little less lonely. i would replay little bits of his part in BTs songs, put them on loop, just to hear the emotions in his voice. I fell in love with him even then.Or maybe , i fell in love with my vision of him. the jimin in my head was kind and beautiful. He understood me. He listened to me. 

But it was all just one of those fantasies that helped me breathe . Nothing I ever thought would happen. Not even in my wildest dreams. 

But the restaurant i had started out at , had grown and I got a raise. they also started catering for huge parties and award shows and that meant that if i was lucky enough to be picked as a wait-staff, i could score free meals, as well a generous bonus.

It was in one of those parties that I first met Park Jimin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What the hell?! What did you just do, you incompetent little twit?!” The woman screamed at me and i flinched , horrified. I hadn’t technically done anything. She had been swinging her arms animatedly while talking to three of the BTS members and had accidentally knocked down the Champagne glasses that i’d been carrying on a tray.

The wine had spilled , splashing out of the cut glass flutes and dousing Park Jimin’s expensive shirt which probabaly cost more than my entire existence.i just stared at the rapidly spreading stain, not sure what to do and my brain shutting down completely because it was Park jimin.

The Park jimin of my dreams. The park jimin who was kind and angelic and who would rescue me from my hell hole of a life. 

My body just froze because i couldn’t think, talk or even blink. 

“it’s alright. “ He said very softly and his gaze was so kind, so soft and gentle. He gave me a reassuring smile and i realized how incredibly beautiful he was in real life. So much more perfect than all the photos I’d seen. So gorgeous. So handsome. 

A real life prince. 

I just gaped at him as he smiled back, casually grabbing some paper towels from another waiter and wiping up the stains. 

And he didn’t stop there. He actually gently took my hands in his wiping away the spilled liquid. I could only stare as he casually knelt on the floor, ignoring all the hushed murmurs around us and picked up the broken shards of the glass as well.

“Don’t hurt yourself…” He said softly and just like that i was lost. 

And later that night, when he cornered me near the kitchens and told me he wanted to take me out to dinner, i didn’t even think to wonder,

  why me? why would someone like Park Jimin want someone like me? 

At the time , i thought it was because he was my prince Charming. 

i still think he is. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t easy , of course dating an idol. But Jimin was strong and firm. He stood up to his agency, to his fans to everyone else who tried to break us apart. it was oddly fascinating, watching somone fighting  for  me and not just fighting me.

My mother hated him. 

“Da Som, he doesn’t seem like a nice man. i’ve met men like him. They only choose women they can control and bully. He thinks you’re easy to control. My baby, don’t believe him.”

i could only laugh at her delusional words. Jimin never even raised his voice to me! He bought me beautiful things. jewelry, dresses and pretty trinkets. But that wasn’t even the most improtant thing. He talked to me. He listened to me. He made me feel like the most important person in the world, whenever I was with him. 

I loved him.

“Don’t say that about him!” I yelled at her.

“Da som- just listen to me…”

‘You’re jealous! “ I spat out angrily. “ you’re just jealous that i no longer have to stay here with you and your pretty daughter. Are you ashamed mother?! You though unnie was the prettier one but Jimin certainly doesn’t think i’m ugly , does he? He could have any girl in the world! but he chose me!” 

My mother only stared sadly while i ranted at her. 

And i felt sad, and empty. Because my mother wasn’t happy for me. 

“She’s upset that you’re leaving her baby, that’s it. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you. You will never miss your mother. i’m your family now.” Jimin whispered that night, drawing me close and kissing my hair. 

I slept soundly. 

That was the last time i ever spoke to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You are a virgin aren’t you?” 

I blushed as I brushed my hair, seated in front of the dresser of his apartment. 

“Uh.. yes.”

He looked relieved. Happy almost. 

“Good. Good…”

Why did it matter, i wondered. 

“Because I want to be the only one to ever have touched you. The first and the last.” He said softly, bending down to kiss my cheeks. “ We’ll wait of course. Till marriage. I want you to be pure till then. It wouldn’t be fair if you wore white when you aren’t pure, right baby?” He smiled. 

“Yes. “ I said, not really understanding, but too drugged from his touches and his scent to think too much about it. 

“Good. Good. I’m a really fair person, Da Som. I would never be cruel to you.  I think we should always be honest to each other. You’ll always be honest with me, right?” He smiled , stroking my hair gently. 

“I…I’ll never lie to you jimin.” i said, surprised that he even thought i would.

“I know baby. I know the moment I saw you that you were perfect for me. You need me , don’t you baby? Only i make you happy, right?”

“Yes.” 

“Good girl.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We got married a week later. 

The first year of my marriage was the best time of my life. I was a good wife. I made sure that everything was perfect, the way he wanted and he always treated me like i was the most precious thing in his life. 

When we celebrated our sixth month anniversary , everyone was envious of me. Jimin had booked an entire restaurant for us and he bought me a dozen expensive dresses. He also bought me a Diamon necklace, a cartier watch and what mattered the most was that he took the entire week off. We spent it in jeju Do, exploring the tiny island and when we weren’t exploring, we were in bed. Jimin taught me the millon different ways a man could make a woman feel good and i was dizzy with pleasure and riding high from his touches. 

i was still a little tired from our lovemaking, when jimin gave me a small smile, fingers lightly stroking the bare skin of my back. 

“Your hair is getting long. “ He said casually, gripping a lock of my thick hair. 

“Oh..i like it that way, though.” I smiled brightly and his smile faded alarmingly fast. 

“You’d look better with shorter hair.” He said shortly.

I blinked a bit, surprised at how upset he sounded. 

“Oh… You think so?” i said doubtfully. Touching my hair in confusion. I liked my long hair. i thought it was a special part of me. 

“Why? You think I’d lie to you?” His voice had taken a hard edge and I turned over, sitting up a bit.

“Jimin-”

“I work my ass off so you can have the best things in the world, why would i lie about what makes you look good?” He demanded and I could only stare, not at all sure what I’d said wrong or why he was mad. 

“Jimin, calm down…”

“Calm down?! You just called me a liar and you want me to calm down? Listen, do you think I’ve got nothing better to do than sit around here with you? But i’m here… you know why? Because I care about you. Because I love you. And if you loved me back, you wouldn’t doubt me!” He said angrily.

“I’m sorry… i’m sorry if I upset you…”

“Damn right you should be. ! I give you everything! Everything. How much of it do you actually deserve huh?” He scoffed. 

i looked down at my lap, tears stinging. i felt suddenly ashamed of myself. He was right. i hadn’t earned any of these luxuries. I only had them because jimin loved me. I’d been taking for granted, all the little things that jimin did for me. And now, I’d somehow hurt the man who had done nothing but good things for me. It was unforgivable. 

“I’m so sorry Jimin…” i whispered, reaching out for him and he knocked my hand away angrily. 

“Whatever.” He got out of bed and slipped on his clothes. “ i’m going for a walk now. I can’t even look at you right now.” 

He didn’t touch me again for the rest of the week. I begged and apologized and tried to make it up to him but he stayed unmoving, ignoring my tears and my apologies. 

i felt myself sinking into depression. 

It was like i was invisible again and I hated it. I went mad, i couldn’t eat and i couldn’t sleep. Food tasted like saw dust. I was dying inside my own skin and i wanted to claw out of my body. I hated myself for ruining things. Because I had, hadn’t i? 

I’d hurt Jimin and i’d ruined things for both of us. 

When we returned back, the first thing i did was find a salon. I got my hair cut short, just the way he wanted. 

When jimin came home that night, he smiled at me for the first time in days. 

“You’re so good for me, baby. i just want to be proud of you. If you listen to me, you can be a wife that I’d be proud of.” 

I nodded, the words not even registering. All that mattered was that he was touching me again. 

I wasn’t invisible anymore. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Journey - Part Three

Here comes the promised update!

Thank you @jia911 and @bluebelle18 for making it so much easier.

Previous Chapters are here:

Part One - Part Two 

Timeline for Part 3:

This one covers episodes 10x23 and 10x24.
Derek is going to DC and has handed over his practice and appointed Amelia to replace him. After apparently being on board, Meredith decides last minute that she doesn’t want to go (after Cristina gives her that “he’s dreamy, but you’re the sun” speech).
Owen is dealing with a crazy day and afters weeks hovering around, Cristina finally goes off to Zurich. Meanwhile, Amelia is debating with James on the phone nearly every day because she doesn’t want to go back to LA.


The Journey – Part Three 

Amelia paced back and forth in the living room of her brother’s house. She couldn’t believe how much her life had changed and in a matter of days.

When she’d come to Seattle, hoping to get her head straight, the neurosurgeon was kind of hoping the experience would reinforce her wish to stay in Los Angeles, marry James and build a family with him.

But none of that had happened.

As Derek moved back and forth between Seattle and DC, he had progressively referred his patients to her. Day after day, discussions with James over the phone had followed. Amelia slowly got seduced by the big hospital lifestyle until it suddenly clicked that the thing she’d been craving for when she’d left LA wasn’t exactly to start something new in her life, but rather to restart something she deeply cared about and hadn’t been able to focus on lately: her career and passion for surgery.

And Amelia couldn’t believe that the order of events were a coincidence. Just when she’d felt the urge to break up her engagement, knowing that despite loving her fiancé, she really didn’t need or want him in her life anymore, she had been offered the opportunity to stay in Seattle and give her career a full spin.

Amelia cared about James and even though they ultimately wanted the same things in life, it hurt to admit she didn’t want those things with him, or exactly at that very moment. He was a nice, generous person and she acknowledged how amazing he had been to her in a time of need but now, she felt ready to take on the world and explore other possibilities. Unfortunately, she didn’t see where he could fit in that new scenario.

Derek had decided to move to Washington and Amelia now had a big house and a big practice to take after. She secretly hoped that she would also get the job of head of Neuro that her brother was leaving vacant, but she knew it wasn’t very likely. To win the position, Amelia would have to be hired by Owen Hunt.

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Klaine Valentines Challenge - “Come up to Meet You: Chapter 6/6 *COMPLETE* - Tell You I’m Sorry” (NC17)

Now that Kurt is getting better, Blaine wonders if staying together is the best thing for the man he loves. (2598 words)

Written for the @klainevalentines prompt “I Will” by The Beatles.

Chapter 1 - Come up to Meet You

Chapter 2 - Nobody Said It Was Easy

Chapter 3 - You Don’t Know How Lovely You Are

Chapter 4 - Tell Me Your Secrets, And Ask Me Your Questions

Chapter 5 - I Had to Find You, Tell You I Need You

Read on AO3.

“Hey, Blaine! Nice to see you back!”

“Hey, Maureen. How’s your afternoon been so far?” Blaine asks, approaching the nurse’s station with a brown paper bag in hand.

“Pretty good. No real complaints,” she says, smile widening when Blaine hands the bag over. She unrolls the top and takes a sniff of the freshly baked cronuts inside, the scent of sweet, warm pastry making her eyes twinkle and her stomach growl. “Better now, though. Three of us on shift haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast, and that was about eight hours ago.”

“Well, hopefully those will tide you guys over till you can take a break,” Blaine says, tapping out a cheerful rhythm on the counter with his index fingers.

“They will.” She cinches the bag at the top to keep the cronuts toasty. “Thank you so much, Blaine. You’re a life saver.”

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anonymous asked:

What Panem district do you think the 104th kids would be from and who could/would have been a Victor?

Just as a note, when I was researching the districts, there wasn’t much about some of them, and so I apologize if there isn’t a huge amount of diversity in numbers.

Eren comes from District 2. He is not as directly involved in the District’s main industry of masonry as his father is a doctor, however he has knowledge of both trades that help him out in the arena. He is trained to fight from a young age, coming from a Career District. He’s known for his agility and sheer willpower. Could potentially be a Victor, due to that willpower and fighting fire. The only reason he isn’t a sure winner is that he is still reckless and could act without thinking in a way that will get him killed.

Mikasa comes from District 2. She grew up very close with Eren, but is more skilled working with her hands due to her parents’ occupations as masons. She is also trained as a Career and stands out immediately. She would definitely be a Victor. She’s just too good when it comes to combat and strategy, and easily eliminates the competition. The only thing that could break her would be ties to other competitors. If she gets too close to someone, develops feelings platonic or romantic, then it will be hard for her to fight against them and it will be agonizing to lose them and only that could cost her victory.

Armin comes from District 3. He’s incredibly adept at using technology of all sorts, and his greatest weapon is his brain. He’s also worked at increasing his speed and is very fast when he has to be. He gets far in the competition due to his strategizing and ability to work calmly in tense situations. However, he is most likely not a Victor. While his strategizing and cleverness outweigh most of his competitor’s combined, when it comes down to brute strength, Armin’s at a serious disadvantage.

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Interview: Nessie

Today we’re joined by Nessie. Nessie is a phenomenal playwright from Scotland who is also working on the first draft of her first novel. When she’s not writing, Nessie also acts and directs. Nessie also participates in a medieval re-enactment society as well. It’s very clear that she has an incredible amount of passion and dedication, as you’ll soon see. My thanks to her for taking the time to participate in this interview.

WORK

Please, tell us about your art.

I am a playwright, a writer more generally, an actor, and a director. I also LARP, and I am part of a mediaeval re-enactment society. I have written eight plays so far, three of which have been performed – one of them twice, the second time under a new title, Shakespeare Syndrome, at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 2016 – and one of which had extracts read from it by professional actors at the Traverse Theatre, as part of my MSc Playwriting programme. I will graduate in November this year and recently received my degree award; I will be graduating ‘With Merit’!

My plays so far have most been quite dark, and often historically inspired. My two most recent scripts were inspired by the lives of mediaeval queens (Margaret of Anjou and Mary of Guelders, the wife of James II of Scotland), while my first ever script, This Breathing World, was heavily influences by Shakespeare’s Richard III and was set in space; I actually have a short lived Tumblr blog about my experience directing the show if you’re interested (http://thisbreathingworld-play.tumblr.com). Funnily enough, my play that has been performed twice, and at the Fringe no less, was my first foray into comedy; Antic Disposition, later retitled Shakespeare Syndrome, is a play in which several of Shakespeare’s characters visit a psychiatrist, and things go about as well as one might expect.

What inspires you?

Shakespeare’s History plays, actual history, books I read, people and events in my life and, more recently, situations and characters from the shared universe my friends and I have in LARP. My first book, which I plan to start working on as part of NaNoWriMo, is inspired by one of my characters and his family, but this character was in turn inspired by a number of different historical figures and events, from Pope Alexander VI to the Spanish Inquisition. He’s… he’s a bit of a mess. Although he is asexual, so he has that going for him, haha!

What got you interested in your field?  Have you always wanted to be an artist?

I have always wanted to be a writer, since I was seven years old and ‘wrote’ my first ‘book’; basically I copied out Rapunzel and drew illustrations for it, and I specifically remember her having a triangular orange dress! I briefly swapped from wanting to be a writer to wanting to be an actor when I was in high school, but I’ve always been a writer, really; whether through writing reviews for an online publication (Broadway Baby), doing one of my degrees in English and the other in Playwriting, or making up stories with my friends when I was younger (and I still do that, to be honest)! I wrote fanfiction for a while in high school – for CATS: The Musical and Dickens books mostly, because I was, and am, a person of very niche interests. For a long time my magnum opus was a fifty-three chapter fanfic called Bill Sykes detailing the backstory of the violent thug from Oliver Twist! I started writing plays during my second year of undergrad and playwriting has been my jam ever since.

Do you have any kind of special or unique signature, symbol, or feature you include in your work that you’d be willing to reveal?

Honestly, my characters die a lot, but I wouldn’t say that’s a signature, more a worryingly frequent feature! A lot of them also tend to be quite wordy, and that’s a problem I have as a self proclaimed ‘word nerd’, having done two degrees with creative and analytical slants; my characters and I tend to use several words were only a few would do. One of the exceptions to this rule is Frank Lovell, my version of Shakespeare’s Francis Lovell, who was himself a historical figure; he tends to say very little and, when he does speak, it’s monosyllabic.

What advice would you give young aspiring artists?

I know it’s a cliché but I would say never give up on your art, you will only get better with practice. I look back on my older scripts now and I realise how far I’ve come, especially since I was lucky enough to be able to pursue a degree in Playwriting to better understand how scripts are written and how they work. I would also say be ruthless when it comes to editing, if you’re a writer; I had a first draft of a play once that was around eighty pages long, and it was only meant to be around an hour long in performance. If it had stayed eighty pages it would have taken around two hours! I would also say, again for writers, rewrite, rewrite, rewrite; your first draft is not perfect – and don’t worry, it’s not meant to be! It doesn’t have to be, it just has to exist. As my playwriting tutor used to say, a first draft is a pile of shit with occasional nuggets of gold. She was a very unusual woman.

ASEXUALITY

Where on the spectrum do you identify?

I identify as a biromantic asexual. It took me a long time to get to this point, from questioning my sexuality, to thinking I was bisexual; I didn’t even know what asexuality was until very recently! I am now pretty comfortable calling myself asexual, and my friend recently bought me a shirt for my birthday that says ‘Asexual pirate isn’t interested in your booty’ (Look Human is an incredible website and has a huge range of ace themed shirts, accessories and so on. They’re not paying me to say that, I just adore this website!), which I hope to debut in public sometime soon, as it’s my first piece of clothing/accessory or anything that displays pride colours.

Have you encountered any kind of ace prejudice or ignorance in your field?  If so, how do you handle it?

I’ve honestly been very quiet about my sexuality in public, as I feel it’s on a need to know basis, though a lot of my friends know. My family sort of knows (long story) and my Dad will sometimes make jokes about me needing to find the right person, but I know he’s joking so it’s OK. I have encountered a lot of ignorance online though, but as I haven’t encountered it personally, the ignorance being directly at the orientation and not me specifically, I can’t really say how I have handled it. I am more open about my sexuality online, and feel I’m able to be more proud of it there, as I have encountered a very loving and supportive community; in the real world, I’m not sure, and in fact I know, not everyone I know would be so understanding, sadly including some members of my immediate family.

What’s the most common misconception about asexuality that you’ve encountered?

Oh gosh, in my quest for discovering who I was/what asexuality was I encountered so many misconceptions; humans aren’t plants, that’s not a real orientation, you’re an emotionless robot, how can you not be interested in sex?, what’s wrong with you?, who hurt you? etc. No one hurt me, nothing’s wrong with me, I’m ace and that’s a-OK!

What advice would you give to any asexual individuals out there who might be struggling with their orientation?

I would say that it’s perfectly valid to struggle with your orientation, especially when sex and sexual attraction seem to be regarded as the key to all happiness these days! No matter where you are on the spectrum and no matter your struggle, you are valid and you are loved. You don’t have to have it all figured out, now or in the future, and there is nothing wrong with you! You are not broken, or weird, or going through a phase. You are who you are and you should be proud of yourself. <3

Finally, where can people find out more about your work?

I am in the process of trying to put together a website but it’s very slow going. Occasionally – very occasionally – I will say something about my work on Tumblr, so that’d be the best place to hear about my work for now. For more about some of my plays, if you Google ‘Shakespeare Syndrome Edinburgh Fringe’ you may be able to find some reviews of the last play I had performed, and I think if you search ‘This Breathing World play review’, you may come across some reviews for my first ever play, from 2014!

Thank you, Nessie, for participating in this interview and this project. It’s very much appreciated.

How Youth is Depicted in Battle Royale

Well, I promised that once I had my essay written, I’d upload it, and it’s all finished! Now, before you read, I just want to clarify a few things:

  • This is an essay written for an English class in college, so I had to go with some pretty boring topics IMO. The three things I chose to concentrate on were: Young people’s attitude towards the government, how ordinary things intensify in survival scenarios, and (losing of) morality.
  • Because the essay was going to be penalized if I went over a certain number of words, I had to leave out a lot. Forgive me for my lack of insight into certain characters (“You should’ve done X as an example!”), but I honestly had to cut out a lot.
  • Please note it's highly unlikely that my tutors ever read BR, so naturally I left out details, or I had to explain some pretty obvious things. 

Warnings out of the way, enjoy reading!

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anonymous asked:

For the supercorp headcannon let's get on with the angst: who has more nightmares? Who usually comforts who? How the Danvers and the Kents take a Luthor?

omg i am so excited i have so much angst in my soul and so much angst for these two lil nerds

  • SO i would say kara probably has more nightmares but lena generally has more intense ones??  
    • this isnt to say that kara’s are not fucking intense and terrible and usually involve, you know, the destruction of her planet, culture, family, etc, but she’s had them for what’s going on 10+ years and while she used to wake up screaming in the beginning (which, tbh, is a big reason why alex became so incredibly protective over her, even when she resented her existence, bc she was this little girl that was so far from a home that didnt even exist anymore and she was crying and scared and alex is a giant softie so of course she got up and got into kara’s bed, curled around her and stayed awake, vigilant until kara was asleep again, anyway that was off topic i just have a LOT of emotions about the danvers sisters)
      • but like its been years and so she’s sort of used to them??  and unless it’s particularly bad, she usually just wakes up a little shaken or sad but its manageable
        • that said, lena’s particularly attuned to kara bc kara often wont verbalize whats eating away at her??  she’s so used to putting on a brave face and closing off whatever anger or sadness or doubt she has and she wont saying anything so lena’s learned to catch onto the minutiae, the tiny shift of expression, the deep sadness in those blue eyes before its shoved back.  so she usually wakes up with kara, and even though she’s not always one hundred percent coherent she’s usually with it enough to figure out whats happening and pull kara against her, ground her, land a sleepy kiss to her cheek or temple
    • lena on the other hand, has not had 10+ years to adjust and the nightmares are a pretty recent development, often centered around thinking she’s got lex back on her side again only to have him kill her, or her have to kill him, or the worst yet, developed only after learning about supergirl, being somehow manipulated into killing kara herself (those are…..the Worst tbh).  she usually wakes up crying, though there have been a couple times when she’ll wake screaming and she’s so used to self soothing, to just shaking and rocking until she’s calm enough to get up and make herself some tea and down some ambien, its honestly a little bit of a shock the first time kara is around for one of these nights and she’s so worried about lena, sitting up in a blink of an eye and sort of–she doesn’t want to make it worse by holding her if she doesnt want to be touched and lena’s not really??  talking???  and kara doesnt know what to do, doesnt know how to make this better for her and she feels so incredibly helpless
      • in the end, she sort of just stays with her, just so she’s not alone until lena sort of collapses against her, crying so hard that she’s shaking and kara takes that as her cue so she wraps her arms around her and channels a lil alex and stays awake until lena’s calm, until she’s asleep again and then she stays awake past that, not sure what to do if it happens again
        • they talk about it the next morning, after lena’s cancelled her meetings and stumbles out looking like death and kara’s still got a worried look on her face even as she sets down a smiley face pancake in front of lena when she sits at the kitchen island
          • like……dont look at me bc im totally NOT crying over the thought of lena looking incredibly small, the smallest she’s ever seemed to kara, and her trying to explain what happened, trying to explain that they just happen sometimes and that kara shouldnt worry and kara like aggressively worrying and just asking what she can do to make it better when lena wakes up like that
  • a lot of the time its lena comforting kara, like she has a lot going on you know?  like she’s desperately trying to balance being supergirl with maintaining some semblance of a normal life and on top of that she’s constantly reminded of the fact that she is the only living being that still remembers krypton, that carries the history, the traditions, the culture, the language with her because while kal-el knows a bit here and there, he never lived it, never went to the festivals, never watched it die and there is no one that can relate to that, that can relate to the very specific pain of being 13 and watching everyone and everything you love die AND THEN not even being able to carry out the last thing your mother ever told you to do like kara carries so much guilt and she rarely vocalizes it and even then its never exactly about it, always by proxy, some sideways way of approaching it
    • she normally breaks down in front of alex, her go-to, her rock, but then alex is happy for once and kara can’t–kara won’t take that away from her, refuses to weigh her down with this when she knows she’s the reason it took this long for alex to look so free so she buries it deep and this goes on for months and then she has this one awful day where snapper is on her case about something that isn’t even in her control and she was looking forward to her date with lena that night when, of course, supergirl duty called and she cancelled and the alien’s just a fuckin jerk ok, just a jerk that liked to blow shit up and kara’s tired, she is, she just wants to feel okay for a little and she’s reached a point where she’s not sure if that means she wants to be kara zor-el or kara danvers but splitting the difference is hurting more and more each day and she just wants to feel okay
      • she flies to lena’s after the debrief at deo hq.  it’s nearly one and most of the lights are off when kara lands on the balcony but she also knows that lena’s first meeting isnt until the afternoon tomorrow and she also knows that she doesn’t think she can handle going back to her empty loft tonight
        • she also knows that when she doesnt stay the night, lena sleeps with her phone on the bed and lena actually picks up on the first ring which means she’s either still up working or has just finished and kara can barely tell her im on the balcony, it’s chilly, please come let me in and then she’s crying and lena doesn’t hang up, kara thinks, but then she’s at the top of the stairs, jogs down them and unlocks and slides the glass door open and then kara’s falling into her arms and lena holds her for a moment before she’s guiding her up the stairs and leaving her at the foot of her bed while she stacks her papers haphazardly and dumps them onto her dresser and later kara will think that that’s probably the biggest sign that lena cares for kara as much as kara cares for her, but then lena’s pulling back the covers and following kara when she climbs in, pulling her back against her chest and just letting her cry it out
          • i’m tired, she whispers later.  i’m just so tired.
          • then sleep, love, lena murmurs back.  i’m right here.
            • kara wakes up sometime long past when she should have.  lena’s still there, holding her, and she murmurs when kara starts to sit up i called snapper and told him that i’d offered you an exclusive on the new tablet we’re putting out, she yawns.  and that you’d be sitting in on meetings for the next week.
              • lena
              • you need a break
                • which, well, true
    • and this isnt to say that kara doesnt spend just as much time taking care of lena, but the way lena views it, she has a therapist that she pays good money to listen to her and, like, she can actually talk about things without any sort of cover story in a way that kara can’t outside a select group of people and lena is honestly just glad that she’s part of that select group and maybe that means she announces a couple of pieces of tech a little earlier than initially intended, it still fucks with apple pretty well
  • HOO BOY OH MAN OH GOD OKAY so the danvers handle it with relative grace, they really do; alex gives lena the shovel talk and, quite honestly, so does eliza, but kara’s happy and safe and that is their first and foremost worry, really, so when it becomes clear that lena is just as committed to that ideal, just as willing to prioritize kara’s well being, it’s easy enough to accept her.  it doesn’t hurt that she’s got the whole my parents never loved me! card to play, something that immediately wins over eliza ‘i’ve never met an orphan that i didnt want to mother’ danvers and lena and alex sort of bond haphazardly over That Lesbian Lifestyle and their shared drive to keep kara safe and happy
    • so while they’re wary for a bit and thoroughly vet lena, she’s eventually just kara’s girlfriend lena, rather than Lena Luthor, Sister to Lex Luthor, Daughter to Lionel and Lillian Luthor, which is???  honestly all lena’s wanted?????
    • THE KENTS ON THE OTHER HAND so honestly idk what history supergirl is working with for clark like are his parents even alive???  who knows but im going with no bc ive only ever seen man of steel and have never watched smallville and also dont care that much.  ANYWAY kara literally does not tell kal-el for the LONGEST time because she knows exactly how he’ll react and she’s not interested in having him talk down to her when she is, in fact, older than him and more than capable of making her own decisions and judging people based on merit, rather than surname.  but like…..he’s superman.  he finds out eventually.  probably by winn accidentally letting it slip (he then sends off abt fifteen thousand panicked texts to kara, all starting with IM SO SORRY HE’S JUST GOT THAT FACE AND I GOT DISTRACTED or something like it)
      • and then kara’s getting a pissed kal-el storming into catco and, well, he’s not yelling but he might as well be and kara’s eyes just about roll out of her head and she drags him up to the roof, where at least they won’t have an audience wondering why clark kent gives a shit about kara’s relationship and then kal-el’s yelling about The Luthor Family is Bad News Kara and kara’s like listen i Don’t Care (i mean, obviously she does; she knows what lex did and what that in turn did to kal-el but at the same time, he is perpetuating the same bullshit judge a book by its cover that kara has fought so hard against and he’s not even bothering to listen to her, just sort of assuming that that she will listen to him and break up with her girlfriend that she likes like a Lot, maybe even loves, and so honestly Fuck You Buddy) and it boils down to if you’re not willing to respect my ability to make autonomous decisions, then you can leave and kal-el’s like FINE and kara’s like FINE and he flies away and kara’s so angry and hurt that she spends the rest of the day in the deo training room (kryptonite off) punching everything she can
        • it is not fine at all bc while he’s got an entirely different experience from kara when it comes to krypton, he’s also the only tie she has left to her home, her family and it breaks her into too many pieces to count that he’s entirely unwilling to even consider judging lena for her own actions, or even to consider the fact that this is kara and she trusts lena with her life, her secret, and that should count for something.  lena’s particularly quiet during this time, turning it over in her head again and again, knowing exactly the weight that kara’s cousin carries for her, exactly how terrible this is for her, how it’s lena’s fault that kal-el’s not talking to kara
        • its a Bad Time, because then lena’s pulling away, putting distance where kara doesn’t want it out of guilt, but kara’s too upset to think anything but the worst and it culminates in what is actually their first fight (bc while they’ve had disagreements, disagreements have never ended with kara storming out in tears)
          • kara shows up at alex’s crying and alex’s first instinct is to murder lena luthor, her second is to hide the body, her third (and strongest) is to draw her sister into her arms and let her cry on her shoulder because everything’s just gone to shit and i dont know what to do alex, i dont know and alex’s heart is breaking and she stays with kara through the night and only leaves once her sister falls asleep, and only then to go to lena’s apartment and flashes her fbi forgery to be let up without question and then she’s banging on lena’s door shouting WHY IS KARA CRYING ON MY COUCH LUTHOR and lena answers the door looking wrecked, all red eyes and puffy face and its so obvious that she’s just as upset and alex, who will deny it vehemently if asked, has already developed a soft spot for her sister’s girlfriend, and it probably helps that lena’s first words to her are is kara alright?
          • so alex softens a little, enough to think rationally, to remember that lena is, by all evidence, absolutely whipped when it comes to kara and would never do anything to hurt her, so she asks what happened and lena looks like she doesn’t want to answer but this is alex, Super Intimidating DEO Agent And Also Sister To Supergirl/Kara Danvers and lena’s Lena Luthor, Billionaire and Survivor of Multiple Assassination Attempts, but she’s also incredibly sad and worried and scared that she’s ruined what was possibly the only good thing aside from her company so she tells alex everything and then alex is S E E T H I N G like what the fuck kent and she leaves lena, promising that talking to kara would be a good idea and calls kal-el and tells him he’s needed at the deo, to meet her in the training room
            • she greets him with a slap to the back of his head when he walks in like what the actual fuck kent, i get that you dont trust luthors, but you should trust kara of all people and his bullshit excuse gets lost somewhere in alex’s Big Sister yelling, like do you not understand how fucked up it is that you cut off the only person in the world that has any idea of what you go through just because you dont like who she’s dating and lena is not her brother, she’s not her mother or father either, she is her own person and i’m not sure if you remember, but your father in law built a death machine with the only purpose of using it to kill kara if he ever chose to, not sure if you remember that he tortured her aunt without need, not sure if you remember the hell he put kara through and you dont see her judging lois for that or cutting you off because of it and the mighty superman is reduced to a shaken ball of nerves by the end of it, suddenly realizing how shitty he was being
            • he gets to kara’s apartment just as lena does and then it’s as awkward and uncomfortable as it possibly could be and kara opens the door to find them locked in a staring match and then lena’s looking at kara and kara’s looking at lena and kal-el has to clear his throat to get them to even remember he’s there and even then just barely and he sort of mumbles out something about him being wrong, lena obviously cares about you and you care about her and im just going to butt my butt out now (at least that’s what kara garners from his stumbling attempts at an apology)
            • its never an easy topic, but its not like the kents and the danvers spend thanksgiving together or anything and it puts a strain on kara and kal-el’s relationship moving forward, something that trips lena up sometimes, makes her uncertain and worried and guilty and they struggle with that for quite some time, because lena knows that kara’s lost and doesn’t want her losing this, losing him too, just because of her; at the same time, kara’s reached a point of knowing that she’s damned either way, but even if its uncomfortable, she’s happy and lena’s happy and their friends are happy for them and that’s what matters

This one took a weird turn. Enjoy!

The knocking was incessant. Again and again and again, the person on the other side of the door had proven they weren’t going away anytime soon, and honestly, Caroline didn’t blame them too much. The pounding on the door was only marginally louder than the sounds of the storm outside, between the thunder and the rain; she had no doubt that someone desperately needed shelter.

Locking the basement door securely behind her, she strode across the dimly lit living room and peered through the sheer curtains. It was dark, but she could see the silhouette of a man outside her front door, and a car on the street, probably broken down if she had to guess. Another round of knocking sounded and Caroline jumped back from the window, wondering if he had seen her. If he had, there was no getting rid of him now.

Deciding to bite the bullet, she marched over to the door, and after taking a deep breath, pulled it open, flicking on the porch light. She had guessed right; a man stood there, no older than mid-twenties, with dark rain-matted blonde curls and a handsome face, his fist still raised mid-knock. Lowering his hand, the stranger smiled a little sheepishly.

“Sorry for that,” he said, not sounding sorry at all, “but it’s a bit of a mess out here.”

He had a smooth English accent and a charming smile, two things Caroline would bet he knew how to use to his advantage. Leaning against the doorframe, she looked him up and down, trying to assess how much of a threat he was. “What happened to your car?” she asked finally.

“Engine trouble,” he replied easily. “Serves me right for not getting it checked out weeks ago.” He gave her another grin, and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m Klaus, by the way,” he added, offering her his hand.

“Caroline.” Shaking his hand, Caroline wondered if giving her name was such a good idea. Then again, he didn’t seem like much of a threat…

“So, Caroline, any chance I could come inside for an hour or two?” he asked eagerly.

Letting a stranger into her house on a dark and stormy night was the stuff of horror movies, Caroline knew, but he was friendly and this was Mystic Falls, nothing ever happened. So with a small, silent nod, she pulled open the door and let Klaus inside.

“Thank you love,” Klaus said smoothly, slipping through the door and surveying her home. It was small but cozy, exactly the type of house you could find in every small town in America, complete with a blonde-haired, blue-eyed cheerleader, if the pictures on the mantle were anything to go by. Such a pretty thing…

“So why are you in Mystic Falls, Klaus?” asked Caroline, trying to break the awkward silence. He moved silently through her living room, hands clasped behind his back, his gait as smooth as a panther’s. Every now and then he paused at a picture of her, but finally turned to answer her.

“Just passing through,” he replied with a shrug, “it’s a charming town; I’ve heard there’s lots to do here.”

“Oh really?” asked Caroline skeptically, “Because I’ve lived here my entire life and I’ve never heard anyone say that there’s ‘lots’ to do.”

Klaus smirked, but wondered internally if he hadn’t made a slight mistake in picking this particular house. Caroline was young and pretty, but she was sharp, and the way she was looking at him told him that she was no fool.  As he moved through the room, she mirrored him subtly, matching every step he took. Her suspicious gaze didn’t falter for a second, as if she expected him to pull a knife on her at any moment.

“You can relax, sweetheart,” he said with a chuckle, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

“Sorry,” she said with a tiny smile, “Guess I’m on edge tonight.”

He smiled in return, one hand going behind him and outlining the blade of the knife he had tucked into the back of his belt. Poor little thing. If only she knew she had a right to be afraid.

“So, where are you going?” Caroline asked after another moment of silence.

“Nowhere in particular,” said Klaus, taking a seat on one of the couches, “I’m drifting at the moment.” ‘And killing when I fancy it,’ is what he doesn’t add, but the girl now sitting opposite him narrows her eyes, as if she knows exactly what his unspoken words are.

“Were you expecting company?” he asked as a way to quickly change the subject. Caroline’s face scrunched up in confusion until she realized the dining table was still set with two plates of pasta, a thin stream of smoke coming off the recently blown out candles.

“My boyfriend, actually, we were supposed to celebrate our anniversary.”

Klaus noticed the way her face hardened, her voice went flat. “I take it the storm threw a wrench in your plans?”

She snorted ungraciously. “I wish. I found out he was cheating on me.”

“My condolences.”

“Whatever, he was a jerk,” she mumbled to herself.

“For what it’s worth, Caroline, anyone who’d betray you is worthless,” he said silkily, leaning forward. “I’m sure you’ll find better men worth your time.”

“Oh?” Instead of falling for the line, she simply leant back in her seat and raised an eyebrow.

“You’re beautiful, smart,” said Klaus, his smile widening, “and clearly generous, to take in a poor old stranger like me.”

“Clearly,” said Caroline, finally returning his smile.

She was beautiful when she smiled, Klaus realized, and for the first time in a while, he didn’t feel the familiar impulse to play God, to end a life for sport. But still he saw a game, just a different kind, with a challenging opponent to keep him occupied. Caroline had a sharp mind and a pretty face, but no idea of who she was up against, and he wondered how far he could take the game before the night ended – or he was forced into drastic measures.

“So Caroline, tell me, what do Mystic Falls residents do for fun?”

She rolled her eyes, “Like I said, there’s nothing to do here.”

“Well then, we’ll just have to make our own fun, won’t we?” Another suggestive smirk and he knew he had her squirming in her seat, a blush on her pretty cheeks.

Literally every warning sign flashed in Caroline’s mind, but a small, petty part of her liked the attention and there was no denying he was incredibly hot. Between the accent, dimples and her recent discovery of just how big of a douchebag Tyler was, she was halfway considering revenge-sex, if a bigger part of her didn’t know what a ridiculously bad idea that could be, given the circumstances.

The two fell into a heavy silence, Klaus keeping his gaze intent on the blonde, and Caroline searched for something more to say. “So, you should take your car over to Ike’s on Main Street once the storm dies down,” she said idly, “he’ll be able to fix it up in a few hours.”

“I’m sure I’ll be able to take care of it myself,” Klaus replied carefully, taking care to steer her away from that line of thought. Car detailing would have to wait until the body in the back could be taken care of. Not that pretty little Caroline needed to know that part, of course.

“Yeah, well if you want – ” Her advice was cut short by the ringing of the phone, and she jumped up to get it, darting a look at Klaus.

“Hello?”

Hey sweetie, the storm’s keeping us pretty busy at the station, so it doesn’t look like I’ll be home any time soon.”

“Oh, no problem Mom,” said Caroline, not surprised at the news.

Caroline, are you going to be okay by yourself all night?”

“Mom, it’s just a storm,” she said, rolling eyes. Liz Forbes was a good person, but this was not the first all-nighter she pulled, and Caroline was more than used to spending time alone. She snuck a quick glance at Klaus, wondering if she should tell her mom about her houseguest, but then she would jump to the worst conclusion, probably give a lecture, she might even come home to check on her…and that would just cause problems.

Listen Caroline, stay inside tonight, okay?”

There was something weird about her mom’s voice; she was on edge, much more than usual. “Mom, is everything okay?”

“Look, I don’t want to worry you…”

“Just tell me what it is, Mom,” said Caroline, exasperated. She looked over at her guest, but Klaus was simply watching her with a lazy smile which she returned.

We found some signs of an attack just outside of town.”

“Like…an animal attack?” asked Caroline.

Not likely. But we don’t know who it was or what happened, just that there was a lot of blood.”

“Oh wow…well, good luck Mom.”

One more thing, did Tyler come over?”

“Our dinner didn’t go as planned, he left a while ago,” said Caroline tersely, not willing to go into details.

Well, if you do talk to him, tell him to call home, Carol can’t get a hold of him.”

“Sure thing Mom.” A few more goodbyes and Caroline hung up, turning back to Klaus and taking the seat next to him. “Sorry about that, my Mom was just checking up on me.”

“I suppose I’ll have to explain myself to her soon then?” he asked, taking care to keep his tone light.

“Nah, she’s out investigating some attack in the storm, she’s the town sheriff.” Klaus didn’t seem too nervous that her mom was a police official, but then, he didn’t seem like the type to let a lot get to him. He was too sure of himself, too cocky – she wondered if it meant he was dangerous.

“Well, I hope it’s nothing too serious,” he said, inching a little closer. “Wouldn’t want to break the town’s boring streak.”

“No, wouldn’t want that,” Caroline replied, suddenly regretting her decision to sit so close to him. The warning signs were flashing in her head again, telling her that he could be a serious threat, but that panty-dropping smirk was back and the scent of his cologne was going to her head.

“So, tell me something about yourself,” she said, settling back against the sofa and tucking her legs under her.

“There’s not much to tell, sweetheart,” he said, rolling the endearment off his tongue with ease. “Just a foreigner visiting family around here.”

Caroline pulled back, the suspicion in her eyes back tenfold. “I thought you were just passing through?”

Klaus cursed internally, wondering how he got so distracted by a pretty face that he made his first slip-up in years. “That’s what I meant,” he said quickly, “I’m just visiting family for a few days before I’m on my way.”

“Where do they live?”

“Near here.”

“There’s no other town ‘near here’ and there aren’t any British people living in Mystic Falls,” Caroline shot back. If small town life was good for anything, it was calling the bluffs of anyone passing through, and she didn’t give a damn how hot he was, this stranger was full of shit.

“You’re sharp Caroline,” said Klaus leaning back. She knew he was a lying bastard, that much was obvious. What was less clear was whether or not he’d have to resort to more extreme measures if she decided to open her pretty mouth and run to her mother. The knife which he had so recently done work with dug into his back, and he could see it so clearly in his head, the way he would pull out the blade, lean across and swipe it against the smooth column of her throat. It would take seconds. It would be easy.

And yet, he remained still.

“So what now, love?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Caroline got up slowly, quickly looking over to the basement door, and then back at the stranger who had risen with her. They stood in a heavy silence, neither willing to break first until a loud knock on the door jolted them both out of their stand-off.

Taking a deep breath, Caroline walked towards the front door, opening it just enough to fit her body through the crack, the storm still raging outside. Matt Donovan stood on her porch, and Caroline felt a pang of affection for her apple-pie wholesome ex-boyfriend, who was the polar opposite of the man whose heavy stare she could feel on the back of her neck.

“Hey Care, are you doing okay?” Matt watched her worriedly, and Caroline mustered up a smile.

“I’m good, what’s up? Why are you here?”

“Listen, I probably should’ve called or something, but I was out getting some supplies so I thought I’d swing by and make sure you were okay – and I needed to see if Tyler was here.”

“Nope, sorry,” said Caroline, bristling at the mention of Tyler, but Matt’s face fell and he looked distinctly nervous.

“Damn – his mom’s freaking out, no one’s been able to reach him since the storm started.” It was more than that though, because this was not the first storm Mystic Falls had seen, and not the first one that a teenager hadn’t decided to sit out somewhere until cellphones were working again.

“Spit it out Matt, what’s wrong?” asked Caroline, a little annoyed. She heard Klaus take a few steps closer and wondered, briefly, if she should say something about him, but she had a gut feeling that it would be a very bad idea.

Matt shifted his weight between his feet, before finally talking again. “Look, Care, when I was at the hardware store, some of your mom’s deputies were picking up emergency supplies and I heard them talking on their radios…they think someone’s been killed.”

“My mom said something like that to me; but she just said there was a lot of blood –”

“There was an insane amount. I heard them say that no one could survive that much blood loss, they definitely think it was a murder.”

Caroline just managed to hold in a groan. Of course it was a murder. And what were  the chances that the murderer was in her house?

“Not a word, sweetheart.”

Klaus’ whispered order would be much easier to ignore if it wasn’t for the cold knife digging into the back of her throat.  

“Care, you okay?”

It was so tempting to try and run, but Matt was in front of her with his baby-blue eyes and Caroline knew there was no way she could risk him getting into her house that night. “I’m fine Matty,” she said slowly, just barely managing a tense smile. Another lightning strike lit up the sky and for a second Klaus’ shadow fell across her, but Matt was more concerned with the increasing downpour and he turned back with an apologetic smile.

“So you’re good for the night?”

She nodded quickly and Matt turned to leave before noticing the dark sedan that had been pulled over on the other side of the road and he turned back. “Who’s car is that?” he called out over the roar of thunder.

The knife dug deeper into her neck, sharp and cold against her skin, the message coming across loud and clear. “No idea,” she replied with a shrug.

Accepting her answer, Matt jogged back to his truck, none to the wiser to the danger he was almost in. The cold steel still bit into her flesh, but she didn’t feel the  telltale warm trickle of blood so Caroline assumed Klaus was holding off, showing her some measure of restraint.

“Easy does it love,” Klaus said slowly, waiting for the truck to drive off before tugging her by the arm in a swift, practiced movement, kicking the front door shut and whirling her body around so that her back met wood, the knife against her jugular and his body pressed against hers to prevent her from moving too fast.

“What did you do?” Caroline asked.

Klaus would give her this; there was no fear in her voice. It was flat, almost disturbingly so, as if she had more important things to worry about and the man with a knife against her throat was just a hindrance to overcome. “Nothing you want to know about,” he said with a grin, but she just pursed her lips a little tighter.

“Did your car really break down?” she asked, pressing for an explanation.

Klaus chuckled, amused by her curiosity under the circumstances. “Do you know what? It really did. I suppose there’s a lesson in here for you.”

She didn’t laugh, didn’t cry, and just stared him down bravely before speaking again. “What are you going to do to me?”

“You haven’t figured it out love?” Klaus asked quietly, his fingers tightening on his knife, shifting so that he pressed her further into the door, internally commiserating that he would never feel her like this under more favourable circumstances.

“If you wanted me dead, you would’ve done it already,” Caroline said simply, tilting her chin up, not showing an inch of fear.

His smirk dropped, only for a moment when he wondered if he had indeed showed his hand to the pretty blonde bird. He could’ve just sliced her open then and there, but he held off, reasoning his restraint had everything to do with the evidence he might leave behind and nothing to do with the faint thought of what her lips might taste like.

But whatever lurid fantasies he had been entertaining ten minutes ago would have to go up in smoke, the fact remained that he couldn’t just leave her be, she knew far too much. Curling his hand tightly around her arm he jerked her away from the door and quickly scanned the room, coming to rest on a door in a side hallway. He had absolutely no clue what was behind it, only that the second his eyes landed on the door was when Caroline started struggling in earnest, and he realized she wanted to stay away from that room by any means.

“What’s wrong love,” he asked, keeping her restrained with some effort, “what’s down there?”

She said nothing, and his grip on her arm tightened until he was sure he’d mar her flawless skin. “It’s just the basement,” she finally admitted through gritted teeth.

Just a basement, but the perfect place to keep someone captive while he cleaned the place up and decided what the hell he was going to do with her, and if Caroline was as smart as he thought she was, she had come to the same conclusion. She certainly put up a bloody fight as he dragged her over to the door, unlocking it as she fought him even harder, trying to unbalance him but he was having none of it.

“Give it up sweetheart, you’re not the first I’ve fought,” he bit out as he kicked open the basement’s door.

Caroline gave up her fight but stared him down fearlessly, darting a glance at the cement stairs, leading downwards. “Let me go, now,” she demanded authoritatively, “you’re not going to kill me.”

Klaus was impressed, truly. She had impressed him, and he found himself fantasizing a scenario where he let this pretty bird live and dragged her into underworld where he lived, just see how well she fought his demons and whether she remained so brave and strong. “You’re getting ahead of yourself sweetheart,” he said, once more tightening his grip and pushing her forward down the stairs, “the night’s not over yet.”

Slowly, they descended the stairs, arriving at the bottom with no incident, though he did notice Caroline had gone very tense underneath his grip. “Turn on the light,” he ordered, leaning forward and letting his breath wash over her ear.

For a long moment, she did nothing. Then, she lifted her free arm, and flicked the light switch.

First there were plain concrete walls and a few cardboard boxes along the walls. A light bulb dangling from the ceiling just barely illuminated the small, cold space.  It was Spartan, overall, nothing of note.

Nothing of course, except for the boy taped to the chair in the middle.

He was almost definitely a teenager, dressed in a football jersey and leather jacket, short dark hair clotted with blood from where he’d been hit over the head. His head lolled to the side, out cold, while duct tape trapped his ankles, torso, wrists and covered his mouth firmly. Klaus stared at the boy for one long moment, before finally turning back to the cheerleader in his grip.

Caroline looked back at him stoically. Then, she simply shrugged.

“Well, I did say he was cheating on me.”

xxx

The storm had finally passed but the earth was still damp, the clean fresh scent of the rain surrounding the two of them as they stood in the forest. Neither said a word but kept at their work, one pile of dirt after the other, until the deep grave was fully covered.

“Did you know who she was?” Caroline asked, breaking the heavy silence.

“I never do,” replied Klaus lightly, leaning on his shovel as he shot her a wink.

“Her name was Hayley. Would you believe she was the slut Tyler was sleeping with?”

“What are the chances?”

Caroline didn’t answer his question, but tilted her head to the side, regarding him for a moment. “What now?” she asked quietly, and to her credit she still didn’t look scared, simply contemplative.

“Now we part ways,” said Klaus, rolling down his sleeves.

“That’s it?” She almost sounded a little dissatisfied.

“Why,” he asked, “Were you hoping for more?”

He meant it jokingly but Caroline simply smiled and walked towards him, curling her small hands around his jacket and pulling him down, meeting his lips and kissing him hard, which Klaus was more than happy to return. Settling his hands on her hips he finally got the answer to his question, and realized that she tasted like peppermints, sweet and sharp, and he just barely registered that it’s a taste he likes very much before she pulled away, a spark in her eyes.

“I need to go home,” Caroline said, already striding past him, but stopped a few feet away, turning back. “Let me know if you’re ever passing through!” she called out and then turned her back, blonde curls dancing after her.

It took a moment for Klaus to realize that there was a smile on his face, and he gave the freshly turned earth one final pat down, finishing his work while his mind danced with images of  smooth skin, blue eyes, and pretty little birds who were too smart for any cage. 

anonymous asked:

what are your favourite kabby moments and why?

Thank you nonnie, well, I’ve been going through another aggressive Kabby cycle of late so you either have very good timing or very bad, I’m not entirely sure which. You also didn’t specify a number of scenes…Which may have been a very bad thing as well because I’m unlikely ever to shut up…But I think you all expect this of me now anyway so without further ado:

1)- 1x05 ‘Thank You’ or that moment where Marcus isn’t as much of a dick as we first thought (and also look at the way he looks at her)

This one is actually quite early on (shipping from the start people) but I think it’s really important for both Kabby and Marcus as well because it’s that sort of, it’s not that he doesn’t want her play with Raven to fail out of spite and he definitely doesn’t want to proceed with this culling; he does want her plan to work, he wants Earth to be survivable, he wants that option and he’s taken steps to ensure that, if by some miracle it does work, he’s got people to report to him the second she gets through so they can stop this.

And I think this is a really big moment for Marcus in season 1, for the audience as well because it’s hard to get out of the knowledge that you have. You know as an audience that the ground is survivable, you know that Raven made it, you know that Abby’s right and Marcus is wrong which makes what he’s doing seriously hard to swallow but from his point of view he doesn’t know that. Abby is very much best case hope and Marcus is very much worst case planning here; he’s not a lunatic on a power trip, he’s just trying to do the best that he can for his people.

And I think that very genuine little ‘thank you’ that she gives him (and the way that she looks at him, mustn’t forget that, never going to be over that) is her sort of realising that fact at the same point we do and looking at him a little bit differently and I think it’s just really nice to see that these two, who are so often at loggerheads, so often opposed and arguing and fighting because they have such different viewpoints and ideals on how to get things done, are literally standing side-by-side in this scene and  I think it just really reinforces that they do have this common ground; they both want the same thing. He’s not bad and she’s not good so to speak, they just have different ways of going about things, but they’re united by this common goal and that becomes a really strong tie for them in later seasons so I enjoy this foundation work.

2)- I don’t care if the world is literally crumbling around my ears I am going to crawl through this tiny cramped little tunnel and save your stupid self Take 1 Marcus edition 1x11

Also known as that one scene that catapulted me from hmm, I like this, to otp fuck me and send help.

There are many things that I enjoy in this world, I am a person with simple pleasures, tea, a good book, a big slab of chocolate, and the smile that lights up Marcus Kane’s face when he holds Abby Griffin in his arms in that one scene in 1x11 and realises that she’s not dead. I don’t know if it was scripted for him to look like he’d just seen the damn sun after ten years encased underground or if it was an acting choice by Ian (goddammit Ian) but whatever it was, it delighted the life out of me so here we are.  

The physical contact in that scene is also really interesting as well, I think pretty much from the moment that his torch lights upon her and he runs to her and turns her over to wake her up, there really isn’t a moment at all where he’s not touching her in some way, either cupping her cheeks in his hands or helping guiding her down towards him or just flat out snuggling (I love that, I really do, the world is falling apart around them but we must take time out for Abby recovery cuddles, it’s wonderful) and I just really love the way she just slumps down with her head on his chest and it’s just a real sense of safety that she gets from him, he’s found her, he’s there with her, everything’s going to be alright now and she knows that there with him and it just, yeah there’s a lot there, it’s a fairly small little beat but damn if it didn’t ruin my life and make me into what I am today.

3)- ‘There has to be another way’ Take 1 - 1x13 

There is /so much/ to unpack in this scene and so much that I love about it and you know, you’re never getting an abridged version of anything with me so on we go.

The possessive little arm seatbelt of hers just ruins me okay, it really ruins me, just, he hasn’t even managed to untangle himself or stand up yet but she already knows exactly what he’s thinking and she also already knows that it’s not something she’s just willing to sit back and meekly watch happen and so the arm comes out and he gets glowered at and yes Marcus but what exactly do you think that you’re doing here? Because it’s not happening.

And I think that one of the more interesting things about this is that she never actually takes her hand away? If you watch that scene, all the way through his line about someone having to stay behind and all through her next line she shoots at Sinclair, the arm stays very, very firmly in place, reaching across his body and trying to keep him there and stop him rising. The only time that she actually takes it away is when he makes her? It’s hard to see (dammit) but I think it’s pretty obvious that just before his ‘salvation comes at a price’ line you can see him curl his fingers around the hand that’s still outstretched to him and just sort of, it’s a very nice physical way of telling her to let go of this, she can’t win every fight, there isn’t always another way, sometimes someone has to sacrifice themselves/suffer so that everyone else can get what they need.

Then we come to that little line that ‘there has to be another way’ which is just, incredibly important in this scene and spoken by Abby. It’s been her mantra the whole season, wanting to find another way around the culling, she has half a hundred suggestions at one point, she’s desperate for them to give the 100 more time to make contact and stop them going through with this and it’s a sentiment that carries into the next season but most interestingly it’s Marcus who really carries it through. That little beat in 2x03 with the grounder ‘there’s got to be a better way’ definitely echoes her and he repeats those very words of hers in the season 2 finale (but I’ll sob more about this later I just want to draw attention to another point of this meta to come, namely parallels between these two)

But yes, the point there was that this has been Abby’s mantra all season; but a lot of the time it’s been directed /against/ him. He has been the one she has been saying find another way to, but now they’ve come to the point that he wants to sacrifice himself but she’s saying this for him now, to try and save him. And this time, he’s right, someone does have to stay behind, and he’s decided that it has to be him and just, there isn’t another line of dialogue exchanged between them in that scene after that and the silent communication that we get between the two of them is amazing.

Her desperate, pleading look towards him just before he stands up and his half-placating, half-insistent and impatient look back as she silently says don’t do this, don’t leave him, and him just, this is his choice, he has to do this and god her face when he stands up and makes it absolutely clear that he’s going through with it is soul destroying.

And then, to cap it all, we have the final nail in the coffin of every Kabby shipper barely keeping it together and the hand hoooolding which is just, okay who decided this was an okay thing to do to me I mean really. But I think there’s a lot of symbolism in that, I think it’s both, something of a resolution for their earlier arc, a certain coming together (made more poignant when they become the first two to step out onto the ground together and an idea of coming at this a little more united than they were before) but I think it’s also a lot about acceptance? She’s accepting his choice here, his decision, she doesn’t want him to do this, in fact she’s jus actively tried to prevent him from doing so, but he has to.

And there’s a certain feeling of their earlier arcs all wrapped up in this because he wants to make the sacrifice play, a clear echo to the culling, put the needs of the many before the needs of the few (in this case himself) and she wants to find another way, a way that they can all survive, a way that they can all get through this but someone has to stay behind. He listened to her, he waited to see if Sinclair could give them other options this time, but there weren’t any, so he went on ahead with this and I think that hand holding is a nicely little way of binding up their arc and yes, they have their differences, but I think there is that sense that they can come together, they can work together, they can present a united front, and ironic as it is when he’s about to stay behind, it’s the idea that they can get through this together, with a little bit of both of their mentalities and just, I don’t know, I’ve gone on too long about this already.

(much) more under the cut! 

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Truth Is, I Don't Really Have A Place To Go - Chapter 1

A/N: I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF PUBLISHING THIS NOW I’M SORRY HERE YOU GO so yeah a lot of you are probably aware this is the story of Blackwood told by Phil, in his POV. I’ll just kinda ~leave this chapter here~ to see how everything works out and whether you guys like it or not so yeah here you go I hope you like it!!

Summary: Phil Lester comes from a colourful background. As colourful as the pattern of bruises regularly given to him by his drunken stepfather, or the raucous language his friends shout down empty streets after late night parties. But when Phil’s mother decides she can’t handle looking after him anymore, he finds himself being thrown out of his old home of late nights, no rules and recklessness, into a private boarding school of uniforms, schoolbooks and strict regulations. Is this really what Phil will have to call home for the next 5 years? Is there anyone with the power strong enough to give Phil a sense of belonging, for the first time in his life?

((ok that was WAY too long))

——————————————-

And I’m alone, again.
With him.
I huddle under the grubby, crumpled sheets, trying to make myself seem as small and as unnoticeable as possible. Maybe if I try as hard as I can, and if he’s drunk enough, he just might not notice I’m here.
I lay in my own silence, the only audible sound being every deep, uneven breath I draw in.
I know he’s home. I’d heard the front door shutting, and the sound of his deep voice loudly penetrating the quietness of the night throughout the house, and halfway down the street, for that matter. And the house isn’t big, either. In fact, it’s really small, so he can’t have exactly gone far. But I couldn’t hear his voice, anymore. The drunken shouting had stopped a few minutes ago.
Maybe he’d gone back out again, with Mum. Maybe this meant I was safe for a few hours. Making the least noise I could possibly manage along with my skilled tiptoeing, I gradually made my way over to the bedroom door, and opened it a fraction, peeping my head out of the tiny crack into the hallway.

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Person of Interest 'If-Then-Else' Analysis and Review

Hoo, buddy.  That was a hell of an episode.  With enough nail-biting turns to make even seasoned PoI viewers hold their breath through the better part of this episode, this was what we had all been waiting for.  Season 4 has been a constant ratcheting-up of the tension, and this was the episode that finally set a light to that fuse and blew everything apart.  And it was a beautiful thing, both in terms of some of my favorite cinematography yet from this show, and in terms of character and story.  This is PoI at its finest, playing with reality, time, and perception to deliver a powerhouse of an action piece with lovely character moments scattered throughout.  Come on in to hear what I think about ‘If-Then-Else’.

 

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Jade, Karkat, and Serious Grudges

Ok, cranky meta #3, now with actual chatlogs.

I have seen enough stuff in the Jade tag suggesting that she and Karkat are the best of friends to annoy me. They have the potential to be good friends. I could even see them working paleways, maybe. I don’t mean to attack anyone who likes them as friends or as a couple. But these posts tend to ignore some pretty obvious grievances on her part. (Sorry Jade, it’s the repression getting you again.) I’m going to point some of those out, so that if you are considering them hanging out, you can remember these issues and work with them to create what at the end of the day should be a healthier and more thoughtful dynamic. 

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anonymous asked:

could it be possible for the diamonds to follow the chinese elements instead of western?

Is that the system that goes earth/water/wood/metal/fire rather than earth/air/water/fire?

Because I think that does fit pretty well. Gonna turn this post into a bit of a refresher on an older post/blabbing about the Diamonds and their respective elements.

“Earth” would be covered by the nature of the Gems themselves; they are stone, they come from the ground. So that leaves water, wood, fire, and metal.

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anonymous asked:

If you can bear to talk about it, I'd love to hear an elaboration on your views of remadora. I've tried to find more of your post about them, but I'm having difficulty.

i don’t mind no! i’m sure i’ve answered this question before but i couldn’t find it on my blog either lmao (they’re probably buried in last summer’s posts about the remus bio debacle or i deleted them lmao). ANYWAY

  • the reason why i dislike remus x tonks as a relationship actually has nothing to do with remus x sirius or the fact that tonks is a woman or that it’s “”disrupting my ship”” or whatever (i personally think remus is bisexual & tonks is genderfluid.. but that’s another story. & the problems that attach themselves to jkr’s sloppy hiv/werewof parallels are ANOTHER story & have been beaten to death) 
  • also for the record, i really like tonks as a characters. i really do. but i also think she was massacred in the last two books. 
  • it really has to do with how remus/tonks is presented in the books. it reads as manipulative, unhealthy for both people involved, sad, very desperate and shoehorned into the story. 
  • from the very beginning, the interactions we see between remus and tonks (not counting what was published in pottermore… because that almost smells like retcon to me) are tonks being interested in remus & then sad/frustrated he’s not into her, and remus feeling consistently uncomfortable, cornered and annoyed by her attention. there’s basically no set-up for the relationship outside of the changes harry notices in tonks at the beginning of book 6 (& assumes is because tonks was in love with sirius… ok…. harry… w/e) but there are lots of little moments of dialogues between the two of them individually with other characters to set this up. remus is deliberately avoiding her & eventually she’s avoiding everyone & this is all happening in the wake of sirius’s death. 
  • the fact that this is happening after sirius dies is really important because i do not believe it would have happened if sirius hadn’t been killed. sirius was really important to both remus and tonks (regardless of what you think of r/s’s relationship) & i definitely think the fact that remus feels like he’s alone & has nobody is a huge part of why he eventually gives in to the pressure to date tonks. anyway.
  • the scene towards the end of hbp is honestly one of the most unbearable scenes in the entire sceries to me even over the SNAPE REDEMPTION SCENES (& people who are into r/t seem to think its romantic which is ??? ok) i can barely make myself read it it’s so unbearably awful & manipulative because ok:
  • a crowd of people are standing around bill weasley’s bed (because bill was attacked by the man who turned remus into a werewolf in the first place) & the news that dumbledore, a hugely influential & important figure in remus’s life, is dead has just been dropped. fleur stands up to molly about bill & tonks jumps down remus’s throat in a conversaton that they’ve obviously had several times in private, telling him that because fleur & bill (who are already together….) are willing to stay together after bill’s been bitten, that means tonks & remus can too. remus doesn’t even argue, he just gets really sad & tries to deflect & explain that it’s different AND THEN everyone EVEN MCGONAGALL leaps on him & are like ‘dumbles would want more romance in the world remus!!!!!’ 
  • my feelings on dumbledore are obviously questionable but there’s no arguing that dumbles is someone remus respects, & also someone he feels he is indebted to & owns an incredible amount to. NOT TO MENTION HE JUST DIED. dragging his name into this conversation in the middle of a room full of people is so shitty. sooo oo shitty. there’s no way he can argue with that in that situation. 
  • so basically remus is manipulated & pressured into this relationship by people he cares about, respects & relies on. 
  • & then basically the next time we see them they’re married. because it’s the “right thing to do.” 
  • through the beginning of book 7 when we see them, tonks seems happy & remus obviously is not, he’s withdrawn & moody & downright miserable at bill & fleur’s wedding. & obviously it’s set up to show that remus feels horrible abt tying tonks to someone who is a werewolf & that he’s terrified of passing his lycanthropy onto his child. those things are definitely true & they’re part of the self-hatred that remus has all his life because he’s blaming himself for making this decision & marrying tonks at all
  • (i think jkr meant to set it up as ‘remus likes tonks from the beginning but doesn’t want to get involved w her bc he doesn’t think he’s good enough to be w her or anyone’ but that’s not how it comes across)
  • AND THEN we get to the scene where remus finds harry & co & asks to go with them & literally says ‘marrying tonks was a mistake.’ that’s another really hard scene for me (for different reasons than the other one) because remus is acting selfish & horrible out of desperation. it’s not a good moment for him & it’s not meant to be. remus in b7 is probably remus at one of the lowest points in his entire life (& that’s honestly saying something lmao) & i do think part of what’s happening in that scene is that remus wants to die. he wants to do the right thing by james by helping james’s son & believes that tonks & baby are better off without him. 
  • & harry ofc tells him he’s a coward & makes him leave & again remus is pressured into going back to tonks by someone he cares about. 
  • i think what this enforces is that remus might have cared for tonks but he didn’t really love her. he gets with her because of a sense of obligation & peer pressure & he goes back to her ultimately for the same reason. 
  • remus’s biggest flaw is that he wants people to like him :(
  • i do think remus is happy abt baby bc that’s something he really thought could never happen to him BUT THEM OF COURSE THEY DIE. LIKE A MONTH LATER.  
  • & a sidenote i really think remus went to the battle of hogwarts not expecting to live through it. 

ok so now that that’s all out of the way this boils down how i feel about the whole thing:

  • the relationship is consistently one-sided, manipulative & unhealthy. for huge stretches of it, neither party is happy. remus is obviously miserable for huge stretches & tonks bounces back & forth from being depressed & being happy when she gets her way. 
  • everyone, particularly tonks, takes advantage of remus’s very vulnerable state & weakness to peer pressure (& arguably the fact that he’s very severely depressed) to force him into this relationship that he REGRETS. 
  • it never would have happened if remus wasn’t in mourning for sirius & feeling incredibly alone & vulnerable
  • i don’t think it butchers remus’s character but it definitely puts him through hell. it does absolutely butcher tonks as a character
  • she’s such a GREAT CHARACTER in book 5 & that all goes down the drain (& i’m also like. generally annoyed by the implication that finding true love can magically cure depression but w/e that’s another convo)
  • i don’t know if that’s due to jkr’s own internalized misogyny or what, but it’s generally really disappointing that an interesting, dynamic, strong-willed woman gets forced into this manipulative role. 
  • i don’t think they would have lasted if they hadn’t died in the war honestly. their relationship wasn’t built on anything solid & i think it would have fallen apart pretty fast once the war was over. 
  • & from a writing stance it’s just terribly set up. i do think the relationship is meant to be somewhat rushed & whirlwind but it comes out of left field & there’s not enough information available for the relationship to be fleshed out enough to not come across as fucked up. 

this post is the one i was talking about last night, and this one is also good

  • one note though: i personally do not think jkr meant for remus/tonks to come across as unhealthy. i think it was generally lazily written & badly developed but 
  • i think jkr absolutely meant for the relationship to come off as romantic & a triumph over all of this adversity in their lives leading to true love. it’s her thing. she’s said she likes both remus & tonks as characters, so in order to make them happy she gets them together (because heterosexual romance & babies = happily ever after in jkr’s eyes)
  • it is, however, interesting to compare this relationship to molly & arthur (who also get together pretty young during wartime but who are ultimately good to each other & stay together forever)
  • i wish i could give jkr the benefit of the doubt & say she has enough self awareness to realize r/t is awful but i just can’t
  • (that’s obviously just my onion though you’re free to read it as you do)