she was pretending to be ann when she said it but omg

caninesmingyu  asked:

how would the members ( + v) dance when they're at a club ? (zen dances like a white dad even though he probabbly knows how to dance)

(a/n i know this says dance but i expanded it to just them being drunk at the club and i included dancing because its funny lolol pps i got invited to a party as i was writing this so)


  • initially he comes to pick you up from the club because he’s intimidated by the people at clubs because ‘they’re cool(they’re really not)
  • hes really scared walking in
  • but he’ll wants to make sure you’re home safe so he conquers his fear (ง'̀-‘́)ง
  • he sees people chanting for you to down a drink and he meets ur gaze and its just like yoosung h e l p
  • so he comes over and chugs the drink down and wow i saved her!!
  • buuuut he’s a lightweight so he starts giggling
  • a lot
  • he loves ‘sex on the beach’ 
  • its FRUITY i should take it to class it’s one of my 5 a day
  • no yoosung its really not
  • but i taste oranges and and 
  • :(
  • a hyper white man on the dance floor 
  • does the boogie and failed moonwalks and wow look at mee mc loook!!
  • he thinks he’s really good oh my poor child
  • he’s so addicted to LOLOL that he probably runs around screaming at one point because i am a drAGON WARRIOR
  • ends up being SUPER paranoid 
  • when you sober up you try find him but where tf is he where has he gone omg he’s lost call the cops
  • security finds him hiding under a truck what the hell
  • apparently he heard sirens and he thought they were after him??? 
  • …why would they be-
  • probably passes out in the car
  • cries the next morning because what is a hangover???
  • why am i dying call 999 i’d like a red coffin please tell my mum i love her


  • he’s planned this night out for weeks but he’s paranoid ur going to die or something??
  • remember if someone offers you a dri-
  • i know say i have a muscular bf that will beat u up blah blah lets gO
  • thats my mc
  • you enter the club and he literally pulls out a flask of his pants and ur just like ????
  • listen, drinks are expensive and i’m not spending that much on strong flavoured water 
  • true & me too
  • at first he’s super cool as he hangs out with his old biker friends in the smoking area and you nope outta there
  • but when he sees that you’re drunk he literally jets back into the club and drinks with you
  • drunk zen oh god oh boy
  • he’s either bussing out boy band moves or either jumping up and down like a freak theres NO inbetween
  • either way you run away
  • he definitely acts cute/flirty to get free drinks that girls buy him and ur hella pissed off at him
  • but you hear him rambling to the girls about how much he likes you and quickly takes his drinks and shares them with you
  • winks @ u because this mf knows how to get free drinks how sly
  • u scared the undying shit out of me you drunk cunt don’t flirt again :((
  • he somehow ends up talking to his vodka glass when you leave him to dance
  • and he’s reciting his lines and acting dramatically - its a full on performance 
  • wow…i have a v attentive audience thank you guys I appreciate it
  • oh he’s also the drunk person who takes 100 snapchats and everyone hates him cos of it i know i would
  • when he wakes up the next morning you find him watching a youtube video of his drunk self last night and he just groans smacking his forehead
  • my manager is going to kill me
  • pout


  • he’s still in his suit so he looks very out of place
  • ah- this is a commoner club 
  • dissapointed when he sees sweaty teens just grinding on each other
  • oh christ thats a lot of leg
  • whines A LOT
  • i thought it would be empty mc..
  • jumin - its a club why would it be EMPTY you dumbass
  • literally jets to the vip section where there’s less people and relaxes for a bit
  • but he ends up sipping a little too much wine
  • tries vodka in his tipsy state and he looks like a baby who’s tried a lemon 
  • oh god o non nonon o non why DO PEOPLE DRINK THIS noNOo 
  • … actually give me 7
  • he’s so out of it now
  • doesn’t dance he just bobs his head really out of time to the music 
  • talks to everyone and everything (yes he talks to objectsabout cat wine
  • and *hic* you know cat wine *hic* will make a profit *hic* of 3 million *hic* kitten pounds *hic*
  • wtf is kitten pounds oh god what are u planning
  • leaves his card in the normal club area and everyone uses his card to buy drinks
  • um sir.. ur bill is £9867.37…
  • lol *hic* i want another water drink please 
  • you drag him out because he’s a mess gET OUT TRUST FUND KID
  • no no no i have more clients to talk to i’m doing business
  • you were talking to a chair before i dragged you out movE IT
  • in the morning you show a video of jumin hiccuping and rambling and he just straightens out his suit and walks away in shame
  • whispers to himself…what have i become


  • the club has an offer where all drinks are half priced and u just drag her along but she vows not to drink
  • lol
  • a ranting angry drunk who lets every thing in her head just come out
  • it’s roast jumin night
  • listen i hat ehis damn *hic* cat wine and his cat i mean *hic* that cat isn’t even cut e *hic* that cat hair is everywhere *hic*
  • stops mid sentence
  • hey you’re *hic* cute
  • she realises what she’s said in her drunk state and covers her mouth and u just laugh because same ur still getting embarrased 
  • she just word vomits everything but her thoughts are so jumbled up that she can’t finish her train of thought so its just random phrases and you can’t get a word in at all
  • i would quit my job but the pay is go-
  • YEAH
  • i caught trust fund kiddo with a pocky stick in his mouth on the floor trying to get elly to ea-
  • omg
  • isnt that animal abuse???
  • what the number i’ll call the-
  • you have to grab her phone out of her hand or else jumin would kill her but damn she was close
  • doesn’t dance but she just stares at people from her seat judging people verbally nd really loudly - enough for them to hear
  • she’s awful
  • shut up jaehee where are your manne-
  • but she has 2 left feet an-
  • you just drag her out because the girls are so close to clawing her face 
  • tuts the whole way home mumbling about kids these days but jaehee ur like 5
  • int he future she doesn’t even let u bring up that night because she lost 5 clients and jumin managed to hear what she said and he was v.v.v pissed 
  • throws a shoe at your head when you mention going to a club together


  • takes you to some weird underground club for officals n shit with a secret password to get in and everything??
  • where are we saey- holy shit whY IS THE GUARD BREATHING FIRE
  • you learn that they’re robots that he created - well ofc that makes sense now
  • all the drinks in the club are just rainbow coloured and weird and theres blaring techno music where am I
  • recommends you every drink and he’s also one of the lightweights so soon enough ur both somehow singing to screamo (just screaming random syllables)
  • he’s that IDIOT who screams “DRINKS ON ME”
  • oh my god saeYOUNG NO
  • gets into a dance battles (does white boy dance moves) and he loses and breaks his glasses may I add
  • but its normal because he says he has 137 more?? wdym..?
  • when people hit on you he ends up joining in and hitting on you as well because u know.. drunk logic
  • are you a calendar because dATE ME
  • we’re already dating idiot wh-
  • oh well it did it hurt; when.
  • …when..?
  • when you fell for me
  • dies on the floor laughing at his own joke 
  • then after a while he’s literally really weird like
  • weirder than usual
  • if sunflower oil is made from sunflower seeds.. and sesame oil is made from sesame seeds.. whats virgin oil made from??
  • oh god th e government is giving us viRGIN DRIINKS
  • you cover his mouth quickly because theres probably government officials in here u IDIOT shut it
  • compliments random strangers while doing the finger gun action as u drag him out
  • points at stranger “u have.. nice shape d teeth *hic* me likey
  • probably laughs the next day because those drinks don’t give you hangovers (he created them) and he compliments his own shitty dancing on camera before pulling another pair of glasses out of thin air
  • bitch tf where did that come from?????


  • he tells you off for drinking at the club 
  • but ends up drinking himself
  • okay wow seriously the RFA have no logic - rika u hired idiots
  • he becomes really artsy and he acts knowledgeable 
  • but he don’t know shit
  • you know where rum comes from?
  • uh yeah isn’t it like a by product of some sugar process thing and its fer-
  • no. i’m going to tell you the unspoken truth.
  • you get a glass of water from the mountains, put it on the table, clap 3 times, spin around 4 times, say rummyrumrum and then it becomes rum.
  • (please bare in mind he says this super seriously with the straightest face and the calmest tone)
  • he’s wandering around the club and people think he’s sober but he’s really not he just looks normal
  • ends up taking thousands of photos on his phone until theres no more memory left
  • the photos are worse.. than jumins (collective gasps)
  • but at the time he’s genuinely freaking out because 
  • omg these pictures are golden i’m literally going to make millions
  • …they’re all blurry feet.
  • probably lets to bartender ramble about his job to him because thats v and he’s nodding his head slowly at him 
  • he’s not listening btw
  • suddenly gets up (srry mr bartender) and realises he has to take pictures of you because wow ur beautiful (he’s STILL cheesy when drunk)
  • those ‘pictures’ are just confused selfies because how do cameras flip again??? technology is hard :((
  • his form of dancing is nodding his head like jumin with some jazz hands from time to time 
  • zones out a lot at the club - everyone is convinced he’s high and avoids him
  • the next morning he erases all the pictures and literally pretends the night didn’t happen 
  • acts super clueless 
  • lol whats alcohol? i only know of green tea!!
Random Shit PART 3



So Perrie has been posting some stuff that has to do with Mickey Mouse/Disney.

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This photo was the first one, of a mushroom that looked like mickey mouse, at first we were like ok who cares, just a random post. Safaa then started posting Disney stuff

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Safaa wanted to go to Disney Land Paris apparently (to her defence who doesn’t) But it’s weird how it all came out after perrie posted disney stuff on her instagram? I wonder why she never want’s her dad with them but who cares,  look what Perrie posted a day after safaa’s photo.  

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It wasn’t THAT weird that she posted this, but then doniya commented on her photo saying…

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If you can’t read what it says;


“Its a hint that we need to go Mickey Mouse @perrieeele lol disney land x”


Perrie kept posting Disney stuff on her Instagram

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This whole disney thing started to get annyoing really, it all seems like a set up by modest, (it does look like it but it doesn’t have to be like that) If it’s not a set up they sure do know how to promote disney land, and that they REALLY want to go there. After that photo, Safaa posted 1 hour later this…

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So Safaa tagged Perrie, Waliyha and Zayn on the photo. This is my fave part look at this, remember how I noted that Perrie didn’t follow SafaaMalik9 on instagram? Well look at this

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She is now following her AFTER liking the disney photo that Safaa posted. Just because we pointed it out she now began to follow her on instagram, coincidence I DON’T THINK SO.


Now this part right here is a weird part… Liam started tweeting about Disney Land too…

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You might think ‘So what if he tweeted about it blablabla’ DON’T YOU THINK that it’s a bit suspicious that he did that after all the disney land posting from perrie and safaa’s account?


My thoughts about this [and many other directioners] is that, they are probably taking Zayn [HIS BIRTHDAY IS IN 8 DAY’S OMG<3] to disney land for his birthday. There are many people who think that they’ll celebrate his birthday there and honestly that makes sense. Prepare yourselves for HQ photos, fake smiles, Perrie pretending to be BFF with Zayn’s family, probably Liam being there with Sophia, Debbie, Perrie’s anti-islamic attention seeking mother being there. [I hate, hating people but honestly perries mother is my least fave, right after this “topic” I’m going to talk about why I hate/dislike her]


Perrie’s mother Deborah Hogg [called Debbie]


As we all know by now, Perrie’s mother Debbie is anti-islam

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Ok, I myself am a Muslim, and to see this makes me so damn angry. If I could I’d write 30 million pages about why I hate her, and what she’s said ONLINE [for the world to see] is the most idiotic thing EVER but this is not about me and my thoughts. Moving on before I lash out. So do you see this? Perrie’s SOON TO BE HUSBAND, THE GUY she is ENGAGED WITH is a muslim. He bought the HOUSE she lives in, and what does she say? “Its good to be anti-islam !!” Are you fucking kidding me man? Zayn THE MUSLIM GUY that is going to be your daughters HUSBAND [hope not] is a muslim, a proud one too, why would you shade muslims like that? And Perrie she is so damn alike her mother really, she think Zayn is Indian and she wants an Indian element wedding for Zayn’s family. How lovely that your fiancé doesn’t know where your from. Let’s move on gosh…


Why I think she is an attention seeker?

Now tell me, WHO confirmed the engagement before Zerrie had the time too?

Let’s me make the answer easier for you… DEBBIE.

She called into a radio station [Real radio] talking about how the proposing happened. She said that he did the traditional asking her and then asking his mom and dad for permission, she also said that it was fabulous and lovely and then the interviews keep talking and a man says that he could help her choose the wedding dress and blablabla… There was 2 interviewers there and it was a man and a lady, the lady said that Debbie sounded OVER THE MOON that they were engaged, let me tell you from my perspective from listening to the interview… She sounded HAPPY that she was telling all about it, but honestly she did NOT sound OVER THE MOON, all she said was fabulous and lovely blablabla, she sounded happy that she was on the RADIO telling all about the fake engagement that perrie 7 days before the proposal didn’t want, she didn’t want the ring, she didn’t want to be engaged. 


This is another reason…

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Yeah Debbie, wave at the camera that HAPPENED to be at a parking lot, just because. Yeah I don’t think so. Modest probably hired paparazzi to take photos of them for PROOF that Perrie is close with Zayn’s family.


I hate being one of these persons who are like, “OMG THERE IS A CAMERA THERE look how happy they seem infront of the camera but when the cameras aren’t “there” or when they don’t “notice” the camera they are like this blablabla…” BUT it kinda feels true when it comes to Zerrie lol… check this out my amigos

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Smile and wave to the camera Debbie. [I’m sorry if I sound rude but…I just really hate her]


Let’s move on.


Sharin’ clothes


So this jacket made the whole zerrie shippers fandom CRAZY, remember when Zayn wore this jacket that perrie suddenly wore as well? let’s refresh our memories.

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Then all of a sudden PERRIE wore it too [It was also an LM announcement then]

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Well let me tell you this. Zerrie wearing the same clothes doesn’t make it any less fake, people wear the same clothes all the time. And to be fair, that shirt isn’t even Zayn’s when he wore it. It’s actually NIALL’S. You want proof? Here you go babe..

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He wore that on 1D day last year. So basically if Perrie wore that and she got it from Zayn, she didn’t have Zayn’s jacket, she is actually borrowing Niall’s jacket. KA BAM.


And that HYPE cap, we all know that Zayn wears the brand hype, for an example on her own birthday party

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It says it right there; HYPE. OR, just to bring in Ziam into this, Liam often wears hype beanies, and we all know how much Zayn loves Liam ;)

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haha this was so irrelevant bringing Liam into this but he is my boo.

This is ALL for today’s Episode, stick around for more fucked up stories and promotion. If you want me to analyse more stuff or things i’ve forgotten don’t be afraid to message me or something on tumblr. Thank you all for the likes and rebloggs and for following. Love you all xx