she was a tough one

Therapy was tough but it was a good one.

She explained her reasoning. I wish I could write it word for word because when I try to summarize it i miss things. Basically, now that I see K, she is realizing how much she coddled me and how immature I’ve been. She says I’m giving the depression too much power and letting it define me so much that I am getting out of things. I am not talking or doing enough of the work in session. She also said that we have been getting into a bad cycle in therapy and she feels she is doing more harm than good. She also knows that I am capable of so much more of what I’ve been doing. She said the past few weeks she was being harder on me because I need to be like a mature healthy nineteen year old. I cannot keep living like a hurt child. I can get better.

I realize I do need to step it up. I have the skills. I am capable of doing this.

For the session we talked about what I am going to be like in three months. I am going to be more confident, healthy, brave, etc. we set some goals that I will write out later.

We also ended with a hug so I felt so much better.

One reason why the “we need more nonsexual LGBT spaces because gay bars are evil dens of sin and predation” thing bothers me so much is that I have known quite a few nonsexual, minor-friendly LGBT spaces that did not revolve around alcohol consumption as business model or whatever - I worked for four years at a gay and lesbian bookstore in Vancouver’s gay village! You know what’s really, um, difficult to do (under capitalism etc)? Maintain a successful small, community-based business that caters to a marginalized community! It can go well, but it can also be just really really hard. The place where I worked was firebombed multiple times (not while I worked there, although I did have shifts canceled a few times due to bomb threats), it was put at the center of a sprawling legal case about government censorship of LGBT literature that cost the owners literally millions of dollars, when I worked there I don’t know if it ever really turned a profit, and no one was paid enough, and the owners eventually got burned out but couldn’t find someone with decent ethics to sell it to so they’d be sure that their employees and this space they’d built for LGBT people would be in good hands. 

I loved that bookstore with all my heart and soul - it was my one refuge when I was living in a violent, abusive situation; it was the first place I was able to have a sense of belonging to an actual community of LGBT people, an experience which was really formative for me and helped me heal a lot from the small-town homophobia I was coming from; when I was too poor to buy food, the manager told me to just take whatever I needed for dinner or groceries or bus fare out of the till and leave her a note letting her know, and she’d literally just like, reimburse whatever I needed. This is an OUTRAGEOUS thing to do, but she was an elder lesbian and she knew I was young and bi and in a really tough place so she did it anyway. One of the store owners, at a time when I wasn’t speaking to my mom for a number of complicated reasons, would call my mom to let her know I was showing up for work and I wasn’t, like, dead in a ditch somewhere. Those people looked out for me - and for other people like me - in ways that went so beyond what I could have ever asked anyone for. And they did it while struggling immensely as a business.

And you know what often kept that place afloat? Gay bars! I’m serious - when the bookstore was in trouble, when they had legal fees, etc, it was gay bars who hosted fundraisers. It was gay bars who provided space for stuff like LGBT trivia night, or for the bookstore’s anniversary and new years’ parties, or for anything that required more space than a small bookstore could accommodate. 

So I really resent seeing people pit the idea of spaces like LGBT bookstores and cafes against the idea of spaces like gay bars! Listen: it’s been said a million times, but I think it bears repeating, that most of the people doing this seem like they have never been to an actual gay bar but are basing this stance entirely on what they’ve seen on TV. But also, I feel like maybe these people have never been to an LGBT bookstore or cafe or community centre or other social space for LGBT people that isn’t a bar! Because if you think that there’s no connection ever between these spaces and the ways they exist, if you think that undermining the right of gay bars to exist is supportive of gay bookstores and coffee shops, you’re very, very, extremely, much, very wrong.  

2

Okay, so.

I cannot begin to tell you how deliciously this character development we’re seeing here parallels Aang’s, or how excited I am about it. Because. Holy. Shit. We all know Aang- he’d been a scared kid when found in the iceburg, and matured into a wise, full-fledged Avatar by the end of his series. His entire character arc was based on him building up his self-confidence.

What makes Korra’s character arc special is that it, instead, has to do with the destruction of self-confidence and regaining it.

Korra’s introduced as the Winner. The Tough One. Bending’s in her blood- she learned how to bend three elements by the age of 5, mastered them by the age of 17. I found it unique that they introduced a main character that already had strength behind them, because the usual arc for protagonist has to do with learning to be strong and brave (see again: Aang). Korra’s already strong and brave. She’s got that.

Which makes it even more interesting to see her as she is now.

“Whatever happened to [that Avatar girl] anyway?”

Well, Korra doesn’t know. What did happen to her? Where’s the Korra that arrived fresh off the boat in Republic City and stopped a robbery? That became the first Avatar of the new age? That restored the Air Nation?

Easy. Every enemy she faced broke down a part of her confidence. Amon: her confidence in her ability. Unalaq: her confidence in her choices. Zaheer: her confidence in her purpose. All traits that were tied closely to her perceived identity as the Avatar, which was the core of her development for, well, 12 years of her life.

Aang is great, I love Aang so, so much, but there’s something about Korra’s character that hits me in a more personal way. She’s down on her luck. She’s at the bottom. She has nothing left. She’s unsure of herself, alone, and unsuccessful. She’s had nothing in life other than her title as the Avatar- all her time was put into training, and where does that get her now? She’s not the Avatar anymore, not really, so what is she?

Who is she?

Aang’s entire arc followed him finding his strength, but Korra’s? Korra’s isn’t finding her strength.

It’s finding herself.

Happy birthday @brewka!!! <333

I hope you like my present for you and that have a wonderful day :))))

2

who run the world?
buffy summers

“Looks good, doesn’t it? They’re trapped in here. Terrified. Meat for the beast. And there’s nothin’ they can do but wait. That’s all they’ve been doing for days, waiting to be picked off, having nightmares about monsters that can’t be killed. But I don’t believe in that. I always find a way. I am the thing that monsters have nightmares about. And right now you and me are gonna show ‘em why. It’s time. Welcome to Thunderdome.”

Some Awesome Female Avant-Garde Artists

Now I have always been a very big fan of unconventional art movements. Not only do I appreciate how those art movements have influenced what we see today, but the history that prompted them is rather revolutionary. Today, I want to appreciate the women who aren’t as well-known as the great Frida Kahlo. This post is more focused in the late 1910’s, to the 1930’s period. It is to honour some of the out-of-the-box women that I admire so much, from all sorts of movements. Here we go!

Helen Lundeberg (1908–1999)

Not just a formally taught and talented artist, but Lundeberg was actually one of the founders of what would be known as the Post-Surrealism art movement, later leaning to abstraction in the 1950’s. She was not only talented, but extremely intelligent, earning a place at Stanford University for “brilliant children.” Now while I said I would focus on the lesser-known artists, Lundeberg is a rather more famous one. However she is a tough one to leave out. She was especially famous during the 1930’s. She was in charge to create multiple murals, and her exhibitions (including her early solo exhibits) were very successful. It’s interesting to see her works evolve during her life, yet remain distinctly recognizable as hers.

Above: Portrait of Inez, 1933, by Helen Lundeberg (1908–1999).

Sophie Taeuber-Arp (1889-1943)

Certainly a woman ahead of her time, Sophie Taeuber-Arp’s artwork as a painter, sculptor, textile designer, furniture, interior designer, architect and dancer all scream “modern woman.” She studied different art forms, primarily textile art, formally in some areas. She was quite heavy in the Dada scene, yet her Constructivist works are probably her most recognizable. Her use of colours of her geometric forms are what draw the eye. Taeuber-Arp’s talent and hard work earned her a position teaching weaving and other textile arts at the Zürich Kunstgewerbeschule (Zürich University of the Arts). She was a woman that appreciated art in all its forms, and many appreciated the way she presented them. In fact, her flexibility and talent is appreciated today, as she is, in fact, the only woman on the current series of Swiss banknotes in Switzerland.

Above: Oval Composition with Abstract Motifs, 1922, by Sophie Taeuber-Arp (1889-1943).

Marguerite Zorach (1887-1968)

Another intelligent artistic lady on the list, Marguerite Zorach became interested in art at a very young age. She, luckily, was blessed with very supportive parents that encouraged her to study everything related with liberal arts. People generally don’t get as unconventional as Zorach really was. Influenced by friends such as Picasso and Matisse, she is naturally recognized for her Fauvist work. Even her husband commented “I just couldn’t understand why such a nice girl would paint such wild pictures.” It may sound like he didn’t approve, but her husband (William Zorach) loved the way she stood out from a crowd. While she settled her “wild” painting side and became more focused on her family, she was titled president to the New York Society of Women Artists. Throughout her life Zorach experimented in all kinds of art media - even making clothes. You can certainly tell the different influences and evolution of her works. Because of this she received mixed criticism throughout her artistic years, yet her works are remembered today.

Above: Death of a Miner, 1930, by Marguerite Zorach (1887-1968).

Pan Yuliang (1899-1977)

Truly a woman to differ from the mainstream (and possibly my favourite on this list). Pan Yuliang is considered China’s “first woman in the country to paint in the Western style.” Unlike many of the woman included in this list, Yuliang did not come from a family of prominence. Just at the age of 14, she was sold by her uncle to a brothel and forced into prostitution. In an amazing turn of events, however, she was noticed by a kind wealthy man who brought her freedom. Becoming his second wife and adopting his last name, he sponsored her education and allowed her artistic abilities to flourish. Because of her talent, fast learning, and hard work, she was accepted in not only the Shanghai Art School, but also numerous schools in Europe. This even included Italy’s Roman Royal Art Academy. Pan Yuliang wasn’t particularly loved by all in China, however. Her works caused some outrage in her home country, and she eventually settled in France, where her paintings were more appreciated.

Above: Detail of Self-portrait, 1936, by Pan Yuliang (1899-1977).

Aleksandra Ekster (1882-1949)

Another abstract woman to appreciate, Russian painter Aleksandra Ekster uniquely used her skills for design purposes. Because of her extraordinary designs, she was required to work in numerous fabulous cities, from places in her home country of Russia, to the romantic Paris, France. Thanks to her prominent and wealthy family, Ekster was free to study art formally, later graduating from Kiev Art School. Her life was the ultimate art fantasy, as she organised meetings at her studio for Russia’s “intellectual elite.” This included artists, writers, and poets. While she never stuck with just one movement, but varied in many revolutionary avant-garde art movements of her time, her style is completely unique and consistent. She is known distinctly for her fashion designs, which were not only completely wearable, but also very memorable.

Above: Costume design for Romeo and Juliette, 1921, by Aleksandra Ekster (1882-1949).

Ok, the hate Max is getting is fucking ridiculous. I’ll link this post from reddit by CiB789 which might explain her reasons for not contacting Chloe. Remember, people, Max is not evil, she does not hate Chloe, she didn’t do that out of spite, she feels bad for what she’s done and she did everything she could to redeem herself in the first game. Social anxiety sucks.


Remember that by the time of the texts we see in Before the Storm it’s been over a year since William’s death. I expect in the immediate aftermath of William’s death Max was better at keeping in touch (especially as that point the move was recent) And in that time (based on what she knows when they reconnect in Season 1) Chloe isn’t actually telling Max anything about what’s going in her life.

The busy excuse is a tough one for Max. She strikes me as the sort who finds it every difficult to just text or phone someone without them contacting her first (indeed, in Season 1, just about all of her text conversations are initiated by the other person). Chances are if Chloe texts her with the stuff she does text herself with- essentially with small talk, and Max doesn’t see the text immediately she seems the sort to have difficulty responding hours later (because then she’s initiating contact). And then you have the “well how do I respond to this?” quesiton- and if she can’t find an answer to that it can become easy to say “well I’ll think about it later”. And then a week later it’s impossible to come up with anything you think you can say. Which is where shyness becomes guilt. Max feels like she’s being a shitty friend to Chloe due to this shyness (this is evident in Season 1, where Chloe right from the get go is at the forefront of her mind, and her diary has her describing herself as a terrible friend). So eventually she’s not only too shy to reply to Chloe, she’s starting to think that Chloe hates her for failing her as a friend. When Chloe then texts her calling her “the Queen of the crickets”- that probably hurt Max to read this, especially as it (in Max’s mind) probably confirms the “well she hates me now” hypothesis.

Finally ignorance. All Max knows by the time of BtS is that Chloe lost her father around 2 years ago. Chloe hasn’t said things like “I have a step father and we hate each other” or “I’m lonely” or “I’ve not made any new friends”. That is, Chloe has given Max no indication that Chloe hasn’t moved on, nor has she given Max any indication that Chloe needs her. I couldn’t help but think that if Chloe has texted Max saying “Feeling shitty, please call” then the second Max got that text Chloe’s phone would ring. Had Chloe sent any of the letters she’s not sending, Max would be there for her come hell or high water.

Finally, remember from season 1 that Chloe (eventually) had Rachel- the implication we get there is that Max never found anyone to fill the Chloe shaped hole in her life. She’s still writing in her diary five years later that Chloe is her best friend, and that she let Chloe down.

So basically, Max’s shyness and guilt pushed her to a point where she probably doesn’t think that Chloe wants to hear from her. I actually feel really sorry for Max here. I expect some of this will end up in Farewell.

Okay

So I don’t want to be that person but I’m going to be anyway. Bellamy tells Murphy that he hasn’t changed and he only cares about himself. And Murphy pauses and tells him he’s wrong. Now obviously he’s thinking about Emori, because she is the person he cares about. But I also think it was more than that.

When Bellamy says she’ll (octavia) be dead in a few days, you can see his attitude change.
His eyes drop and it seems like his thinking of something else. He just softly nods and breathes out ‘yeah’. I know he does not give two shits about Octavia. To me it looks like he’s thinking of someone else, that he was upset because he was thinking about someone else that would be dead in a few days… And who is the one person that is outside that bunker that Murphy has showed any indication of caring about? Who was Murphy obviously upset about leaving behind and them dying?

And then who does the next scene fade into?

Now I’m not saying that he was thinking about Raven in that moment but….

I’m so used to being part of big fandoms that I’m feeling really weird and not knowing what to do now that I’m in a fandom that is not that big.

I usually go to AO3 and my ships tags have at least 2k fics on them… Dark Matter doesn’t even have 250 fic in total…

Worst part is, I don’t know why that is? Dark Matter is the type of show that seems like one that would gather a pretty big fanbase?

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH DARK MATTER:

  • It’s an AWESOME show!
  • It has an interesting plot - 6 people wake up in a space station without any memories of who they are and then find out that they were all vicious criminals with a reputation allover the galaxy. This memory loss does however not extend to knowledge that was so ingrained in them that they could not forget because it comes as instinct, for example, one character was great at hand to hand combat and had great leadership skills, that was not lost in that memory loss, another was great with technology, that was not lost in the memory loss, etc.  They have to decide if they want to go back to who they were or take the memory loss as an opportunity to become different people.
  • It has amazing characters - All characters are incredibly complex and develop all throughout the show. The characters were named in the order they woke up and realized they had lost their memory, so, there is One, a boring white guy that I don’t care for (I know that’s not the best way to start this but he stops being a problem). There’s Two, (the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen), she takes on the role as the leader, she is tough but she has a good heart and probably one of the most complex characters on the show, she is also the love of my life and can kick my butt (and everyone elses) as she pleases without much of a struggle! Three, a supposed jackass that you’ll grow to love, he is pretty funny too. Four, a quiet guy that is a master at sword fighting and that you know you shouldn’t mess with him. Five or “the kid”, she is basically a tech genius and everyone underestimates her until they learn better but also everyone loves her. Six, a big guy with a heart of gold and his relationship with Five will melt your heart. If you watch Supergirl, we call J’onn Space Dad? Six is also a Space Dad. TOO CUTE, I love him. And last but DEFINITELY not least, The Android, she is a robot but as the story progresses you see that there is more to her than that, she’s special and also the love of my life! Two kicks ass, but The Android is basically undefeatable unless someone has a taser lol
  • The female characters are kickass as fuck! Like, I’m not kidding… There are 3 main female characters, Two, Five and The Android and all of them have saved everyone’s asses multiple times (if not most of the times if I’m being honest) there is no damsel in distress trope on this show, like ever! This show is feminist through and through and I love it!

This is Two being kickass: (the fight scenes are AMAZING on this show)

Originally posted by bodennis

This is Five being a smartass:

Originally posted by littlegreenhairedgirl

This is the Android being a cutiepie: 

Originally posted by fyeahdarkmatter

If you’re gay, you have most likely watched Lost Girl and so you know that the Android is played by Zoie Palmer (Dr. Lauren Lewis/half of Doccubus) and she KILLS IT! 

If this is not enough reason to watch the show, maybe it will convince you the fact that Two is bi/pan in canon AND, without spoiling anything, Zoie does play a gay character as well later on.

AND if you still are not convinced, I know quite a few of you are Ruby Rose fans… guess what? She guest stars on Dark Matter!

Originally posted by uswntlover94

I don’t know how this post about me complaining that Dark Matter needs more fans so I can read more fics turned into a “WATCH DARK MATTER” post but here we are…

If you are still not convinced and need more convincing, please, you can message me about it.

Robin’s Nest: Part 16

Prompt: Where the robin’s were Bruce’s and Batmom’s biological kids

Words: 1081

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12 , Part 13, Part 14, Part 15


“That storm is pretty bad.” You glance out the window and can’t help but agree. Hurricane Renee had been on the news for days, and now that she had hit, she seemed determined to live up to her name.

           Unfortunately for you, this meant that your seven children were cooped up inside. The manor had become a complete mess between various board games, and one or two games of extreme hide and seek.

           So far, the casualties included a chandelier, a Ming vase, two of Bruce’s golf clubs, and Alfred’s blender. You’d left your children to the mercy of the butler and retreated to the library to find Helena staring out the window.

           Your daughter was a daddy’s girl and had been from day one. She was fierce, tough and outspoken, and she hated storms with a passion. More often than not, lightning and thunder filled nights found her in your bed with you and Bruce.

           Hurricanes seemed to be even worse. The usually rambunctious girl was sullen, and more than a little pouty. This was proved even further when she snuggled up to you. Dick, Jason, and Cass were your snugglers. Helena preferred her personal space.

           Never one to pass up an opportunity, you pull the girl close. Kissing the top of her head you say, “Don’t worry baby girl, Daddy will be home soon.”

           She sighs, “I hate business trips.”

           You smile, “You and me both.”

           “This was a long one.”

           You nod. Two weeks was a long time for Bruce to be gone. Typically, he skyped conferences, went only for a few days, or took the family with him. That hadn’t been an option this time.

           When midnight comes and goes without any word, you start to get anxious. Bruce’s plane had landed before the storm had really started. The closing off of streets had kept him from coming straight home, but he had still called to check in. But now, he wasn’t answering his phone and that worried you more than a little.

           You’re brought out of your thoughts when someone yells, “Code green.”

           Pushing your husband to the back of your mind, you spring out of your office chair and towards the clock. You turn the hands to your anniversary date, and make your way down to the cave. You find your Dick, Jason, and Cass suiting up, and raise an eyebrow in question, “And where exactly do you think you’re going?”

           Dick’s face is straight laced, serious as can be. A perfect imitation of Bruce’s. “The Riddler has cut power to the entire city. He’s offered a challenge, if someone can issue a challenge that can stump him, he’ll turn the power back on.”

           You bite your lip, before issuing your orders, “You’re not going out there alone.”

           You watch Dick’s and Jason’s eyes go wide, “Mom!” You listen as Tim turns in the computer chair to face you. You take a deep breath, “I said alone. Call in Wally and Barry.”

           You see Jason hesitate, “Dad …”

           “Isn’t here. You’re not going out there without a League member. Hell, I’ll call in Superman himself before I let you go out there alone. I know you’ve been doing this for years, but I’m still your mother. I have my limits.”

           It takes half an hour for the speedsters to arrive. Even then, you’re left with a queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. You watch them go before taking over Tim’s chair.

           You’d spent less and less time in the cave as the boys had gotten older. You imagined, you’d spend even less time there as your children got older. Tim would soon become the next Robin, his training was almost done, and then Helena and Damian would take over. Eventually, Terry would start his training, and that broke your heart. Your last baby was growing up, and it made you want to cry.

           It’s a long night. A very long night, with more close calls than you care to admit. By the time dawn breaks, the storm is still going strong, but your kids are back home. You tend to the cuts and bruises before sending them to bed.

           You’re on your fifth cup of coffee when you get a call from the hospital. There’s been an accident with your husband, and you’re needed. Now. You’re certain that your heart stops at the words.

           One look out the window tells you that you’re not getting anywhere right now. Between the winds, the flooding, and the damage from Riddler’s attack, you’re stuck. You’re forced to wait two days, before going to the hospital, alone.

           You arrive at Gotham general looking a mess. And you’re certain that at least one paparazzi had taken your picture. Still, you walk through the hospital with the authority of someone who’s family has donated enough money to build two new wings.

           You find your husband sleeping in the waiting room. He’s wearing scrubs of all things, and sprawled across several chairs. So of course, you hit him. He startles awake and stares at you while you rant, “How dare you Bruce Wayne. Not one freaking phone call. Not one. I thought you were dead in the morgue, or lying here in a coma. But no, I find you here dressed as though you just performed surgery. I have been worried sick.

           “I lied to our children. I said that you called, that you were stuck at the airport. How DARE YOU!”

           Bruce takes it all in stride, before pulling you in for a hug. He holds you while you cry, and says “I’m so sorry. They only had time for one emergency call, and I thought I asked them to tell you that I am okay. I am so sorry.”

           You take deep breaths to calm yourself, before asking “What happened Bruce? Why are you in a hospital?”

           He wipes his hands over his face, “I was driving home, when there was an accident. Someone spun out on the road, crashing into me before spinning into another car. The driver, and two passengers were killed. There was one other survivor. A twelve-year-old boy, his name is Duke. I was able to get him out, and get an ambulance out but there was nothing they could do for his parents, or the driver. I couldn’t leave him alone.”

           You sink down beside him, “What are you thinking Bruce?”

           He stares at you, “How would you feel about having and eighth kid?”