she understands now that his feelings are not an illusion it really is love

Concept: Mickey and Emil have been friends basically since they both began skating. They’re really close, and when I say close I mean HELLA. Sleepovers, friendship bracelet exchange when they were 12 (Emil still wears his outside of skating, and while Mickey will never admit it he still keeps his in his wallet of all places), the whole deal. Sara is also part of their friend group, but she’s definitely not as close to Emil as Mickey is.

And then puberty hits and Mickey suddenly becomes very aware of Emil and his closeness to Sara. In reality, nothing’s really changed, but he’s begun to get a weird tight feeling in his chest whenever he sees Emil smiling and laughing with Sara. He begins to be a lot more protective over Sara because that’s what it’s gotta be, right? Sara is getting prettier each year, and as her big brother he has a responsibility to keep men from taking advantage of her. Even if it’s Emil, who he’s known for years. Anyways, there’s nothing else this feeling can be, right? Right. Nothing more than protectiveness.

Keep reading

A (little) Killing Stalking Rant

I’m not sure where to begin, to be quite honest. I just found out that apparently there is a chapter 18 despite everyone thinking there’d be a break after 17 and of course I instantly read it. Now me being my obsessive, overexcited self instantly went into the tag to see what kind of funny shit this precious fandom came up with this time only to be…well disappointed is such a hard word but I kind of am. Not because the jokes were repetitive (they were, but that is not the point) but because the fandom seems to be split in two entirely and I don’t understand why? Or why people have the need to constantly shade one another. 
Anyway, feel free to ignore this, but I’m going to voice some of my (probably unpopular) opinions.

1) Ji eun is a major bitch and I do not understand why people are glorifying her for punching Sangwoo in the face like she is some sort of hero. She didn’t do it for Yoonbum, but to save her own skin. It also didn’t show guts or anything, just her will to live. I wanna bet that all the girls he chopped off before her tried much the same. Nothing special, moving on.

2) That being said, she most certainly is not a bitch for offering to have sex with Yoobum. In a situation like this, live or die, every last one of us would probably offer much more than sex, trust me on this one. Nothing is more precious than survival, it’s in our DNA to do our best. That being said, she is still a bitch for offering to basically RAPE Yoobum to safe her own skin. Bitch is selfish, not a hero. Yoobum obviously wasn’t down for the idea of getting fucked by her.

3) I really do not understand how people are still surprised that most of the fandom ships Sangwoo and Yoobum. Nor why people are surprised that most of the fandom loves Sangwoo. We basically got half of the explanation for this coming from Sangwoo himself in Chapter 18: He’s pretty so people are drawn to him. Where is the big deal? It’s a cartoon, for heavens sakes. It’s not like we have a bunch of real life Harley Quinn’s running around the street. Now for the shipping part, this one REALLY goes over my head. I literally saw comments about getting help and getting Jesus being thrown around and shit like that irks me for many many reasons, but I digress. We see the story through Yoobum’s and Sangwoo’s eyes. OF COURSE WE ARE ROOTING FOR THEM! Not just them as a couple but them as people! I’m 99% sure that we are supposed to! Yoobum loves Sangwoo so we love Sangwoo.
Yoobum loves Sangwoo, so we want him to get Sangwoo.
We love Sangwoo so we want him to be happy.
We love Sangwoo so we want him to succeed in his murder spree. 

I was happy when he killed that asshole in the last chapter and I most certainly am looking forward to seeing Jieun being killed by either of them, really, because that is what Sangwoo (and Yoobum) want and since I see the story through their eyes, I want that to. Does that mean I’m about to go out and start killing people? No, because I faint at the sight of blood and really don’t like the idea of taking someones life. Nor the fact I’d get a lifelong sentence, really. Just throwing it in there for good measures. So, it’s safe to say I’m not going to go on a killing spree anytime soon. Still enjoy the deaths.

4) To elaborate on that. I really, really am surprised how people go into this story disliking Sangwoo and the relationship between him and Yoobum. Like you do realize it’s all about that, right? About Sangwoo getting satisfaction by killing and Yoobum getting satisfaction by being by Sangwoo’s side. This story isn’t about character growth , overcoming your mental illness or getting out of the shit situation you’re in. Quite the contrary. It’s about giving in to those primal urges, this quiet need to kill in the back of every humans head. The story is supposed to make us route for the killer and the psychosis and that sick twisted part of them so we end up questioning just how fragile our and societies morality is. I had Philosophy for for a couple of years and morality was a big part of that. I have my own opinion on morality and how it is a mere illusion anyway but that isn’t the point right now. The point is, let go of your false morality and get off your high horse and enjoy the comic called Killing Stalking for what it is! About two psychopaths giving in to their mental state to stalk and kill their prey together. 

 I mean seriously, what did you expect?!

anonymous asked:

How do you think Zuko's and Katara's parenting styles would mix? I feel they'll have worldly kids but I wonder if they'll shield them more than they should. Zuko's childhood might make him less tolerant to the negative portions of growing up, making him downplay war, gray morality and court issues. Love the pairing but I think their kids may have skewed views of reality

Despite their young ages, we can get a good idea of Zuko and Katara’s parenting styles from watching the show. Several times, they take on the role of parent or mentor to younger (or at least less mature) children:

Lee (parent: Zuko). From “Zuko Alone,” we can gather that Zuko is more than willing to stand up for a kid not his own:

Gow: Hey! You throwing eggs at us, stranger?
Zuko: No.
Gow: You see who did throw it?
Zuko: No.
Soldier: That’s your favorite word, no?
Gow: Egg had to come from somewhere.
Zuko: Maybe a chicken flew over.

Zuko: (in a threatening tone) Let the kid go.

He is firm, but fair in instructing Lee. Zuko could have yelled at him or sent him away for touching his precious dao, but instead he teaches Lee the meaning behind the swords.

Sokka (parent: Katara). As if this speech weren’t enough:

Sokka: When our mom died, that was the hardest time in my life. Our family was a mess, but Katara, she had so much strength. She stepped up and took on so much responsibility. She helped fill the void that was left by our mom.

There are a million ways Katara looks out for her brother’s wellbeing.

Sewing his clothes back together while he runs his mouth.

Cutting off his supply of hallucinogenic beverage.

Taking care of him when he’s sick.

Katara: I’m sorry you’re feeling so down, but I hope you know none of us see you that way.

Lending him moral support.

And encouraging him to go on unnecessary shopping sprees when all else fails.

As you can see, Katara nurtures, disciplines, and indulges Sokka depending on what his physical and emotional needs are at the moment. Like any human being, Katara gets overwhelmed sometimes, and snaps at her brother when she shouldn’t. But overall, Katara is a top-notch caretaker to Sokka as well as a sibling.

Toph (parent: Katara). Katara is a helicopter parent when it comes to Toph–not because Toph is blind, but because she knows how little real parents Toph got in her own home growing up. She tries to get Toph to understand the “power of teamwork”:

Katara: So, Toph, usually when setting up camp we try to divide up the work.
Toph:  Hey, don’t worry about me, I’m good to go.
Katara:  Well, actually, what I’m trying to say is, uh, some of us might fetch water while someone else might set up the fire pit or put up the tent. Even Momo does his fair share.

And points out that Toph’s acting out is a symptom of Toph missing her parents:

Katara: Ah, I see. You’re acting like this because of your parents.
Toph:  Whatever.
Katara: They were controlling over you, so you ran away, and now you act like your parents don’t exist. You act like you hate them, but you don’t. You just feel guilty.
Toph: I do hate them!
Katara: I don’t think so. I think you miss them. But you just don’t want to deal with that, so instead, you act like this crazy person.

Katara invades Toph’s privacy to dig up the wanted notice that puts them all in danger. But she admits her guilt and tries her best to patch things up:

Katara: I can’t believe I was so stupid. See, this is exactly why I’m against these scams. I knew this would happen.
Toph: But…this was your idea.
Katara: I know. I wanted to show you that I’m not so motherly. I wanted to show you that I can have fun too.
Toph: Katara, you are fun. If nothing else, you’re at least fun to argue with.
Katara: I know your relationship with your parents is complicated, and I shouldn’t have said what I said.
Toph: It’s ok. I was really mad when you said that because; well, because maybe it’s true. I try not to think about it, but when I left, I probably really hurt them.

We can see in the dialogue above how hard it is for Katara to be a kid and Team Mom at the same time. Her no-nonsense parenting butts heads with her desire not to be seen by her fellow kids as the unfunny, boring one. But she keeps trying her best, and in the end it works out. Katara is nosy, but also willing to change her own behavior when her parenting has a negative effect.

Aang (parents: Zuko and Katara). I don’t think there is any need to go into how much Aang is mothered by Katara throughout the series; in fact, I’ve done a whole post on it already. Despite not doting on Aang every single moment of his existence, Zuko’s parenting technique is actually much healthier than Katara’s. It’s also a good counter to the idea that Zuko would be so afraid of disciplining his children that he would let them walk all over him. Watch him train with his new student:

Zuko: I know you’re nervous,but remember… firebending in and of itself is not something to fear.
Aang: Ok. Not something to fear.
Zuko:  But if you don’t respect it, it’ll chew you up and spit you out like an angry komodo rhino!

(Cut to Aang who gives a yelp of fear)

Zuko: Now show me what you’ve got. Any amount of fire you can make.

And when he and Aang are meeting the Masters:

Zuko: Your flame’s gonna go out because it’s too small. You’re too timid. Give it more juice.
Aang: But what if I can’t control it?
Zuko: You can do it. I know you can. You’re a talented kid.

Zuko is, again, firm but fair, and encourages Aang when he shows improvement. While he would be understandably wary of punishing children, he is under no illusions about how hard and dangerous the world can be, even for someone as young as Aang. He understands that leaving Aang unprepared by pampering him would expose Aang to greater danger in the long run.

But Katara … oh, Katara definitely has problems with discipline where Aang is concerned. She doesn’t know how to stop giving Aang time and attention, and she doesn’t know how to do tough love, at least not towards the Avatar. I would argue that Katara is too wrapped up in seeing Aang as a symbol of hope who can do no wrong in her eyes to give Aang an honest assessment of who he is. She does provide a lot of hand-holding and emotional support that Zuko would be uncomfortable with, so if she were and Zuko were parenting Aang together, he might turn out OK. Still, there is no evidence that Katara would spoil a non-Avatar child, so I’m inclined to count Aang as an outlier due to his status as the Avatar.

Together, Katara and Zuko’s parenting styles combine support, discipline, encouragement, attention, comfort, protection, education, and love. They support the interests of the kids under their care and do their best to protect them from harm. But they also help the kids protect themselves–both by encouraging their fighting skills, and by creating as safe of an environment as they can within the group, while fighting a very unsafe war.

Team  [ P.P ]

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Request: Could you do an imagine where Peter falls in love with the new vigilant? She has the power to create illusions on people’s mind making them believe they’re really in that place (idk if I’m explaining myself right). Thank you so much for your time ❤ 

Word Count: 1,122

Warnings: None lol

A/N: This isn’t exactly what was requested but I hope this is good for the anon! I apologise in advance for not being my best piece ohmygosh my excuse is that I was on the bus when I wrote most of this.  

Masterlist

“Stop getting to my bad guys before me!”

You whip around to face the voice of a hero all too familiar to you, your eyes narrowed beneath your domino mask. Spider-Man now stood directly opposite you, the wind of the rooftop not having any impact on him whatsoever.

“Excuse me?” You question, unable to hide the smirk on your face. This wasn’t the first time you had met Spider-Man. In fact, it was far from the first time. The two of you practically knew more about each other than anyone else-even though you had no idea who was under the mask and vice-versa.

“You heard me,” Spider-Man replies, stepping forward as he cocks his head to the left. “Every single time one of my guys is causing havoc, I always find you in the middle of it. You always make it worse so please, deal with something else.”

“Listen here,” You glare at him harshly, knowing that he would be unlikely to notice through the midnight coloured mask that covers your eyes. “Who are you to tell me what I can do and what I can’t? Hm?”

He rolls his eyes unknowingly to you, resting a hand on the back of his neck. His movements and posture is somewhat lazy, tired after having to deal with more than his usual. To him, you were to blame even though he knew it wasn’t really because of you. He just needed a fitting reason to fill in until he could think of another.

“Fair point. But please try not to throw punches in a fight that isn’t yours. I know you’re powerful and all but the bad guys get angry when you make them think they’re on the other side of the planet.”

“That’s the point, stupid.” You step away, your eyes snapping to the street below at the sound of a high pitched shriek. You send Spider-Man a mock salute before sliding down the ladder of the balconies along the side of the building, leaping from one to another before you’re on the ground.  

The man was dressed in dark jeans and a black hoodie, the fabric pulled over his head to cover his face. There was a middle aged woman walking in front of him, her young daughter’s wrist gripped firmly within her hand. You could tell she had noticed the man begin to follow her by the way she had tried to subtly fasten her pace and by the way she pulled at the toddler with urgency.

It was the small child who had let out the scream when her mother had roughly taken hold of her wrist. Thankfully, you had noticed the man walking predatorily behind the two and decided to take action on it.

Spider-Man had found himself by your side within seconds, his eyes raking unconsciously over your body quickly as you kept your footsteps silent. He had found you insanely beautiful the moment he had met you despite the mask that hid your identity and he couldn’t help but try and push away the weird feeling that had washed over him as he watched you now. He shakes his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts.

He raises his arm to shoot his webs out at the man but before he can do anything you place your hand on his arm, shaking your head as you point to the woman and her daughter. You had to wait for him to make a move before you made your own move but that didn’t mean you couldn’t plan ahead. Spider-Man nods as he understands what you’re getting at, matching your speed as you begin to walk faster.

The glint of a knife catches your eye as the man raises the arm that isn’t holding anything and reaches towards the pair. Before he has the chance to do anything you shove the man to the side, earning a frustrated yell from the man as he quickly regains himself. Your eyes flicker to Peter as he moves to the woman, taking the child in his arms before he pulls them away from the scene. He makes short eye contact with you as he shoots his webbing, swinging with the girl in one arm and the woman clinging onto him with his other.

The man lunges at you with the knife, ready to slice your skin but you kick him once, moving your hands and placing two fingers on either side of his head. The man’s eyes widen as he finds himself in the middle of a forest, the tall buildings around him turning into thin and long trees.

“What the hell?!”

You chuckle as the man stumbles backwards, throwing a strong punch to his face before you hit him another time with twice the force so that he’s knocked unconscious. With a thud he lands on the floor, his back falling against the thick pole of the street light.

You spot Spider-Man as he lands beside you, his arms empty of the woman and child. That was fast. Flashing him a smile, you motion at the man with mocking movements, pretending to fire your own imaginary web shooters. He shakes his head, letting out a chuckle and a sigh as he shoots his webs at the man, securing the man against the pole for the police to collect him.

“That was quick. The woman and her daughter?” You ask, meeting his gaze. You were surprisingly close to him, your chest almost touching his.

“They’re fine. I got them to their apartment safely. It was only a block away.”

It was no secret to you that he you found him mind blowingly hot and you usually took pleasure in teasing the hell out of him but for some reason you didn’t have in you tonight. All you wanted was to wrap yourself around his toned body and kiss the life out of him.

So you do. You step into him, gently pulling his mask over his chapped lips and placing your own on top of them. He freezes for a second before slowly melting into the kiss and wrapping his arms tightly around your waste. Your arms wrap around his neck, playing with the ends of his mask.

You’re the first to break the kiss, pulling away before it got too heated. You send him a smirk, your arms still hanging around his neck and his still holding your waist. With a sigh, you step back from him, slowly moving away from him. You blow him a last kiss, turning to make your way home to pack in for the night. But before you go, you make sure to leave him with your voice playing through his ears on repeat.

“We make a pretty good team, Spidey.”

Touka and Mutsuki, setting up foils and conflict

What you said about mutsuki and touka how they are both fixating on the same thing kinda like a dream was really interesting and true to me. It makes the whole touka mutsuki kaneki/haise conflict even more complex would love to hear more about that from you 

Alright, since I’m the one who brought up this idea and also I’ve seen it go around in others inboxes, I’m going to devote the Touka and Mutsuki comparison to its own Meta rather than just having it as a point in a shared meta. 

To clarify, what do I mean when I say that both Touka and Mutsuki fixate unhealthily on the idea of Kaneki/Haise? Also, why does the narrative set this up?

To begin with, I’ve received several asks as to what I mean by Touka is obsessed with Kaneki, and I’ve also seen other people point out that Mutsuki’s love for Haise is way different and much more violent than Touka’s all accepting love for him and therefore there’s no point in comparing them. However, I raise that this seemingly total opposite difference is exactly why we must compare them. Let me demonstrate to with another chart:

The two are in opposite directions, and Mutsuki is much more extreme yes. However if Mutsuki were not compared to Touka in this moment, you might mistake Touka’s own devotion as healthy if it were not being flagged like this. This is literally the origin of the term foil, which is a foil placed on a stage to highlight something, its something used to call attention to something in someone else.  Let’s elaborate under the cut though. 

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THE MANDELA EFFECT PT. 3 [BARRY ALLEN]

summary: in which barry allen returns to the original timeline and discovers that he has gained another seemingly important person to his life.

a/n: third part!! if you want a part four, just let me know, but be warned that it will be the last of the mini series because if i continued, it wouldn’t really make sense anymore lol

PART 1, PART 2, PART 4

Masterlist + Request here!

“Are you going to have dinner with us tonight?” Joe interrupted Y/N’s thoughts as she stares at the picture she and Barry had on her desk. When he spoke, she immediately averted her eyes on his face and sighed.

“I didn’t receive an invitation.” she answered.

Joe arched an eyebrow. “You don’t need to have an invitation, you’re already family to us.” he chuckled.

Y/N smiled a little bit. “Why are we having this dinner in the first place?”

“Well, believe it or not but Iris is finally going to speak to me.” he said as he sat down.

“I thought she would never set foot on that house again?” Y/N humored.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too. But I am cooking one of Grandma Esther’s recipes. Are you coming or not?”

She bit the insides of her cheeks. “I’m sorry but I think I’m going to pass.” she admitted. “I honestly don’t feel good and I just want to sleep it off tonight once I get home.”

Joe nodded, “Okay, suit yourself.”

Y/N indeed done what she told her partner. Once her office hours were finished, she was in her apartment but instead of sleeping in her shared room with Barry, she chose to sleep on the couch, too hurt to even catch a scent of Barry’s cologne on the pillows. She still couldn’t grasp the idea that her boyfriend for over a year wasn’t even him and instead were like illusions planted in her mind. She wanted the land to swallow her alive.

Before sleep could even consume her troubled thoughts, her metahuman alert app alarmed. She reached for it and saw the headline.

“Speedster spotted at Boardwalk.” she read out loud, having no choice but to immediately get dressed and head over to S.T.A.R. Labs and see what she could do to help.

When she reached the cortex, Cisco, Caitlin, Joe, Wally, and Iris were already there. They seemed surprised to see Y/N arrive but their glances didn’t bother her.

“I thought you didn’t feel good?” Joe asked.

She shrugged, “Well it wasn’t that bad as I thought it was.”

A sudden whoosh interrupted their conversation, Barry already back from the latest mission that fast. His eyes widened at her presence while she avoided looking at him.

The silence inside the room made Joe to finally speak again. “We finally get rid of Zoom, and there’s another evil speedster.” he mused.

“Who is this guy again?” Wally questioned.

“I can help you with that.” Caitlin replied, “I finally got the results back from the test I ran on the husk that Barry gave me this morning. And it’s weird because there’s no traces of dark matter, but there are traces of the speed force.”

Y/N looked at the monitors and recognized the man on the picture. “And that’s the husk from this speedster?”

Caitlin nodded, “Appears so. His name is –”

“Edward Clarris.” Barry told them.

All their eyes focused on Barry, except for Selene who was still staring at the monitor.

“And somehow, Barry is exactly right.” Caitlin confusingly responded.

“Of course he is.” Y/N murmured to herself.

Barry, who no longer wanted things to get worse, sighed to himself before walking closer to Y/N’s side. “Uh, can we talk?” he asked.

She looked at him finally, “There’s nothing to talk about.” she bluntly answered.

Barry wasn’t used to her harsh words, since the only emotion she has been showing him was love since the moment he arrived. A lump formed inside his throat as he gently placed a hand on her elbow, in which she looked down and back to his eyes before raising a brow in question.

“Please, I just –” he cut himself off as Y/N shrugged his hand off, already walking out of the cortex as a sign that she was ready to listen and would rather have the conversation they were going to have privately.

He awkwardly followed after her, not bothering to notice the weird looks that the other members of their crew was giving him.

“So?” Y/N crossed her arms.

Since she literally just got out of bed and drove by herself all the way to S.T.A.R. Labs, Y/N was dressed in nothing but a plain white shirt and gray sweats. Her hair was in a very messy ponytail, that if Barry hadn’t known, he would assume that she just came from a jog.

“I feel like I should apologize to you again.” he started, “For so many reasons that I don’t even know where to start.”

She breathed in deeply, “Well, to be honest, you have nothing to be sorry about. It’s not your fault that my mind somehow imagined things that apparently never really happened.”

“No, it’s not like that.” he said, “I just wanted to apologize because I know this is all my fault. I did this. All of this. It’s my fault and I’ve been trying to fix it.”

Y/N frowned, “It’s not your fault for wanting to be happy for once.” she placed her hands inside her pockets, “Look, you told me your story and what your life had been in the original timeline; it was tough. And although I don’t really want to see you right now, just know that I don’t blame you for this.”

Barry was awestruck at what she said, but not because of the part where she said she didn’t want to see him, but because of how she didn’t blame him for the pain she was feeling at the moment. He never expected her to be this understanding and caring, despite knowing that he wasn’t the Barry she knew for the past year. He quickly realized why this other version of him fell in love with her.

He shook his head, “I’m not going to be selfish again. I think there’s only one way to make things right. I’m really sorry, Y/N .”

She was confused on what he was talking about, but as he slowly walked backwards and suddenly sped away, she knew he was making another stupid decision.

“What are you going to do, Barry?”

Final Update - Wanted (3/3)

We’re finally here! Thank you to everyone who has shown interest and messaged me about this story. Your patience has been appreciated. 

Remember the story is Rated E for explicit language and explicit sexual content. 

Possible trigger: Discussion of a minor character’s infidelity.

Part 1 can be found here

Part 2 can be found here

Thank you to my amazing betas @sponsormusings and @papofglencoe and @loving-mellark for the cool banner. 


Summary: Modern AU: Young newlyweds Katniss and Peeta live a simple life in their hometown of Victors County; a life filled with family, friends and the love they have for each other. But an unexpected turn of events, and a brush with the law, puts their relationship – and their sex life – to the test. And afterwards, nothing will be the same

Katniss eventually falls asleep in the early hours of the morning, although the constant tossing and turning from her brain working overtime and the musky scent of Peeta on the pillow beside her makes it a fitful one. For a moment when she wakes up, just before lunch, everything is right with the world until she remembers the events of last night - particularly Peeta’s hurt face and him leaving. She never thought she’d be spending her first wedding anniversary alone.

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Roses are Red, Broken Hearts are Blue (Part 1/?) (Pietro Maximoff x reader)

Request: dawn-phantomhive said :Can you do a Pietro x Reader with the prompt “She opened her apartment door to hundreds of roses. She knew they were from him; he had found her.” Pietro could be possessive over the reader maybe? I don’t know up to you on that part B! (Love your writing B!)

“You seem tired,” Wanda approached, crossing the quinjet slowly towards you, “more so than after most missions.  Were you hurt?”  She stopped just before taking her place at your side, waiting for some sign from you that you would accept her; it wasn’t something that she was used to from you after knowing you almost her entire life.

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anonymous asked:

I feel down after the new episode, do you think it is still possible that dean will stop sleeping around with women and get together with cas? idk i feel like it will never end and since 11x23 we've seen dean repeat too much that cas is a brother/best friend and it's starting to make me nervous

Well, Dean is a single man, not in a committed relationship (even if WE can clearly see he’s obviously married to Cas), who is allowed to sleep with whoever he wants. Period. But there are some things in that whole scene in the Pickle Jack Shack. And I mean really… the whole place is a sexual innuendo.

Sorry for my “photo of the tv screen screencapping” but… that phallic pickle protruding from the bull riding sign? Ooookay.

(this is also for my two anons asking about what the significance of “Riding Larry” is, so heads up. All will be revealed!)

Also, isn’t it awesome that Sam picked agents Moon and Entwhistle– the two deceased members of The Who as their aliases. THE WHO? on the nose aliases there.

Dean had been “Springsteen, like the Boss” the night before when he’d been talking with her. After she agrees to tell them everything that happened, here’s what she says, with my commentary in parenthesis:

Elke: He ordered burgers to go. It was gonna be a minute. We were slammed. And you knocked back… four shots of tequila?

(already yet another implication that Dean had been drunk, when four shots of tequila for him is probably a warm up)

Elke: Put some (finger quotes) “sick jams” on the juke, and then you hit the bull.

Sam: he what?

Dean: I what?

Elke: Oh yeah, you had the hots for Larry as soon as you walked in here.

(immediately setting an entirely different tone for this conversation, by presenting Dean’s interest in Larry– the mechanical bull with a huge pickle for a phallus– as sexual. Larry is a man’s name, and Dean had “the hots” for him.)

Sam: (quite befuddled by this) He… Dean… you rode Larry?

Dean: (considers this for a minute) Was I good?

Elke: You were– amazing.

(Dean processes that– the fact that he apparently demonstrated skill at riding Larry, and then hums in acceptance of the fact. He smiles. Elke smiles, Sam rolls his eyes so hard he nearly pulls a muscle).

Elke: Anyway, We got to talking, and… you know…

(remember what she’d said earlier, that they were “slammed,” meaning overwhelmed by a rush of customers. Not exactly the sort of situation in which a waitress can “get to talking” with a customer just waiting around for his dinner order to be ready, you know? I already suspect that Elke realizes that Dean WAS roofied here, and didn’t exactly remember what he’d said or done with her… AND THIS I BELIEVE WAS HER TEST TO PROVE IT. She needed to confirm whether he did or didn’t remember what had happened. I’ll quote her here, and then explain afterward)

Elke: (in response to Dean’s complete straight-faced, emotionless waiting for her answer) We blew off some steam.

(Dean STILL has to stop and work out exactly what she means, and then when it registers, Dean only replies with a surprised little “Ah!” Not seeming to recall anything. Because he didn’t. And this doesn’t seem to bother Elke. Because she’s already been told that he was “roofied.” Because most folks would be upset that someone had no obvious response to the confirmation that they’d apparently had sex… It’s kinda insulting, you know? BUT ELKE WAS NOT INSULTED BY DEAN’S LACK OF ANY SORT OF RESPONSE TO THIS INFORMATION. Like the slap to his face earlier implied she would be.)

Sam: Did you see him talking with anyone else?

Elke: My bartender said she saw him run out of here like his pants caught on fire. We were supposed to meet up after close-up. But you never showed… 

(Dean looks lost again)

Elke: Poor thing, you were all roofed up! I didn’t… I am so sorry if I took advantage of you.

Dean: (smiling uncomfortably… because yeah… and patting her on the arm) It’s okay.

(Sam asks if they have security cameras and then the scene shifts to Sam and Dean sitting at a table watching security footage on a laptop)

Dean: First action in I don’t know how long, and it’s like it never even happened. Figures.

Sam: Ha. See now that’s comedy.


Okay, now HERE’S THE KEY TO UNDERSTANDING THIS SCENE: waffles.

Yes, waffles.

Who doesn’t love waffles? May I direct you to the Waffle Masterpost, containing EVERY reference to waffles ever on this show (well, aside from this episode, but I’ll update it in a bit here…)

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/156133372175/have-we-ever-seen-waffles-on-the-show-outside-of

But what it boils down to is the fact that waffles in this show share some of the same symbolism with El Sol beer. And if it wasn’t clear enough, there was a huge glowing El Sol sign there for good measure.

But as soon as Dean spotted Elke when he and Sam walked into the bar, he identified her as, “the girl from the waffles.” SHE WAS AN ILLUSION, A DECEPTION. She was the girl from the waffles. Waffles being a “more innocent deception” than El Sol.

Because her story of what she and Dean did contradicts itself. Either they were “slammed” to the point that they were so busy that Dean had to wait so long for his food that he not only had multiple shots of tequila but ALSO had time to ride Larry, or she and Dean had time for a leisurely chat and even MORE time to take a break and go somewhere to “blow off some steam.”

Which was it, lady?

She only knew that Dean LEFT, in fact “ran out of here like his pants caught on fire,” because HER BARTENDER told her. Because Elke was “slammed” with customers. THIS IS WHY SHE SLAPPED HIM. Because Dean ran out before her shift ended, when they were supposed to meet up. He ditched her, and then “pretended” not to even recognize her, after having chatted her up and made plans for after her apparently very busy shift, and that’s why I think she was just fucking with him here.

I mean, either she was so busy that Dean had to wait for service, or she had enough time to have some sort of long talk and a quickie in the bathroom or the alley or wherever. WHICH WAS IT, ELKE?!

So in the conversation that revolved around the fact that Dean had been “roofied,” bookended by “the girl from the waffles” and Dean’s assertion that it was “like it never even happened,” well…

I have serious doubts that anything really DID happen.

I mean, I think he was planning on something happening. He was going to go back after her shift to meet up with her… possibly… but did he ever even get his burgers?! 

And without his memories, is it weird that it took THREE TRIES to find the place Dean had gone that night. That place was the third one they checked out, and Sam would’ve followed the same sort of Hunter Logic in trying to find the burger joint Dean went to, probably starting with the one closest to their motel and working his way out. So Dean bypassed two other perfectly good burger places to walk to THIS PLACE SPECIFICALLY. This place that advertised the mechanical bull riding.

This place where Elke confirmed that Dean “had the hots for Larry as soon as he walked in.”

Dean went out of his way to get a burger from THIS PLACE not because he didn’t think the other burger places were any good, but BECAUSE HE WANTED TO RIDE THE MECHANICAL BULL. My guess? He probably saw the sign on their way back to the motel, and he gave the excuse to Sam that he was going out for burgers while Sam did the research SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SNEAK OUT AND RIDE LARRY.

I mean… ???? This is one of those things that Performing Dean would NEVER do, would NEVER ADMIT TO SAM that he would do. Which is why Sam was so ?????? that Dean actually RODE LARRY.

Because Dean hadn’t been “roofied” yet at that point. That was all Dean.

He wanted to do something silly and fun and homoerotic without being judged for it. This is the same Dean that unapologetically loves Finding Nemo. And waffles…

So he has a few shots of liquid courage and climbs on Larry. We see that scene at the end of the episode. He fully gets that memory back, and what appear to be snippets of Hexed Dean Moments… and yet he gets no memories back of his “blowing off some steam” with Elke.

Because it’s like it never even happened.

I think Elke was slowly realizing throughout her conversation that Sam and Dean weren’t lying about Dean not remembering anything from the night before. So she went from angry over having been stood up and Dean “pretending” he didn’t even remember her, to passive-aggressively answering their questions… to noticing Sam and Dean’s bizarre reactions to hearing that he gleefully rode Larry… and then I think threw in the bit about blowing off steam with him just to see his reaction.

He seemed genuinely incapable of either confirming or denying it, and took her word for it that they did something sexual. He wasn’t gross about it, he didn’t elaborate on her assertion, nor did he immediately deny it either. He just accepted her word and moved on.

Notice immediately after that point she distances herself from Dean with her words… not “he ran out” or “I saw him run out, but “my bartender said she saw him run out.” BECAUSE ELKE HERSELF WAS “SLAMMED.” She was busy DOING HER JOB. She didn’t even SEE him run out without his food.

And really, how the hell long was he there, if he had multiple shots while waiting for the burgers, picked songs on the jukebox, rode Larry, made plans for after work with Elke (that he may or may not have intended to follow up on) while sitting at the bar while SHE WAS BUSY WORKING. Long enough after all that for her to not even notice him suddenly run out? BEFORE HE EVEN GOT HIS BURGERS?!

Like, how the hell long does it take to flip a couple of burgers? 15? 20 minutes tops? Even if they’re slammed?

And he still managed to do ALL THAT ^^ WHILE WAITING?

And then as Dean and Sam ran out the back door, we can see a GIANT glowing El Sol sign just inside the bar.

EVERYTHING that happened in there, aside from Dean riding Larry, was an illusion that started with the girl from the waffles and ended with him escaping out the back door past an El Sol sign.

The ONLY thing we actually SEE that was TRUE was that Dean rode Larry.

(aside to note that Dean confirmed himself that he hasn’t had any “action” in so long he can’t even remember when it happened…)

And for my Larry anons, I have no idea if “Riding Larry” is an idiom, but “riding” is a sexual innuendo. And the implication that Dean rode Larry… well… I mean just watch him and tell me what you think is going on there… Dean… riding a dude called Larry… it’s not complex math here.

(and heck here’s another reference… that time Dean WAS roofied in 9.13… SWEET POTATOES. Salted caramel. Best of both worlds. Salty and sweet. and that reminds me of the other “sweet” references lately in relation to angels… and we’re down the rabbit hole again)

anonymous asked:

Could you give us your thoughts on Clarke and compartmetalization? I find it to be one of the most interesting trait of hers and also something that, even though it has negative effects on her, it has also "saved" her in a way, because how the fuck someone with so much burden on her shoulders is even able to walk at this point?

So we know Bellamy is in love with Clarke but is Clark in love with him? I have been Shipping Bellarke since season one and tbh Bellamy reveals way more than she does. Especially the way he looks at her when she isn’t looking

I’m combining these two anon asks, because they actually cover the same topic: how Bellamy and Clarke show their emotions.  I also think how they handle emotions is very closely tied to how they function as leaders and their relative strengths.

As you point out, nonny #1, Clarke’s ability to compartmentalize has saved her because she’s able to put things aside that really would crush someone else.  Since early season one, Clarke handles emotions one of two ways: she either handles it directly and straightforwardly, or she locks that shit up tight and doesn’t look at it until absolutely necessary.  We see the latter with her anger towards her mother and Wells and L.exa, and it’s no coincidence that all three of those grudges were deeply tied to personal traumas as well.  We also see it when Raven lands and Clarke figures out that she’s the other woman– she tells Finn it’s done and doesn’t allow anyone to see how hurt she is.  When she’s hurt, she channels it into anger and coldness because anger is always easier than pain.  It’s maybe not the healthiest way to handle things, but it’s certainly an effective one.  

Clarke is very good at processing positive (non-romantic) emotions, though, she’s not just terribly demonstrative.  A lot of that comes from her parents because as Emori pointed out, Clarke has always been loved.  So when it comes to giving and receiving (non-romantic) love, Clarke is very comfortable.  In fact, she’s so comfortable that she doesn’t always realize that her love isn’t apparent, because in her mind, it’s  not something she really needs to explain.  If she loves you, she loves you, and because Clarke has never really felt the absence of love she struggles with understanding why someone would need that concretely demonstrated.  She’s always known that she’s loved and cherished and so the constant doubt that plagues someone like Bellamy is utterly foreign to her.  As a result she’s not always good at reassuring him of her love, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him deeply– it just means she shows it differently.  

(I’d also like to note that this season (and in 3B), Clarke’s been much more cognizant of recognizing when Bellamy needs to hear that he’s valued.  In season two she took him a little for granted, but after 305 (well, after 310) Clarke has been very careful about showing him that she cares about him, either verbally (I trust you, she’ll see how special you are) or physically (the beach hug and the hand nuzzle).  She’s recognizing that how he processes love and how she shows it are different and she’s adjusting to make sure he knows she loves him.  And you don’t do that for just anyone, btw– you do that for people who are precious to you.)

But Clarke’s ability to lock shit up makes her an effective leader because she can make terrible, heartbreaking choices and then keep going. It’s not that the choices don’t cost her or hurt her– they do, and so deeply it threatens to break her– but for people who don’t want to make those choices it’s a relief because it seems like not only is she willing to make them, she’s able to bear the weight of them.  That’s a bit of an illusion (and one that Bellamy sees straight through, hence why he was there while she wrote the list) but she sees not letting people see you’re breaking as a part of leading, especially when the stakes are this high.  Letting Bellamy in when she’s vulnerable is part of how she shows she loves and trusts him.

Bellamy, on the other hand, can’t lock anything up.  He tries so fucking hard, but it’s just not in his nature.  Every damn thing he feels is written on his face the second he feels it, and the one time he did suppress everything was when Clarke left and that was mostly because he didn’t feel like he was allowed to feel angry about it.  It all came exploding out of him after he suffered yet another trauma in losing Gina, but even before that he was doing a terrible fucking job of hiding his feelings.  While Clarke either ignores her hurt or channels it into rage, Bellamy usually just…sits with it.  He broods, and I want to emphasize that there’s no value judgment here on either Bellamy or Clarke’s methods for handling pain– they’re neither good nor bad, they just are.  Bellamy’s emotional reactions, however, tend to make him a good front-line leader, because people trust him to feel their pain too.  Clarke can take the long view because she can compartmentalize the pain later until it’s more convenient to feel it, but Bellamy can convince people to follow them in the moment because they can see everything he’s feeling.

Bellamy had a childhood that may have been full of love but it was love that felt like it came with conditions (protect your sister, keep your family safe), so he’s far less emotionally secure than Clarke when it comes to positive emotions.  He’s actually quite comfortable being sad and hurt and scared, but something like “someone else loves me outside of my utility to the group” is utterly terrifying for him. He’s not sure he deserves that sort of love and he’s constantly worried it will be taken away from him, just like how his family was taken away from him on the Ark.  Because she had a fairly emotionally healthy upbringing, Clarke is comfortable with positive emotions– except for romance.  With romantic feelings, Clarke locks that shit up tight just like she does with her hurt.  It’s scary for her to feel so vulnerable (for all of us, really), so she just…doesn’t deal with it until she’s absolutely forced to.  

Bellamy, however, because he’s so used to feeling vulnerable and exposed, just fucking goes with it.  Unrequited love is right in his wheelhouse, so we see how much he loves Clarke in every single look.  He doesn’t bother to hide it because he honestly can’t, and I actually think it will be harder for him once she reciprocates because love being returned to him openly and honestly will be far more difficult than loving someone without any hope of reciprocity.

So to tackle nonny #2′s question head on: I think right now we see more of Bellamy being in love with Clarke because right now, Bellamy is in love with Clarke.  She’s not quite there yet and there’s nothing wrong with that because she loves him fiercely and she has for months now and love doesn’t come in a hierarchy.  Platonic love is not below romantic love– it’s just a different type of love.  And while I do think Clarke is making baby steps towards falling in romantic love with Bellamy, I also think it will take her some time because she does not like to look at those feelings head on.  I also think that Clarke will always be less demonstrative when it comes to romantic love simply because that’s who she is, and that doesn’t make her love for him any less powerful or profound.

Mass

MSR || On-The-Run || Angst || Easter Ficlet because I was having feelings


Mulder doesn’t stir when he feels her slip out of the motel bed, her footsteps Scully-soft to the the grimy little bathroom and the door eased shut. He’s not sure if she wants him to be awake, they haven’t said much since she turned hard off the freeway at 3am, and rolled to a stop in the parking lot. Something in her eyes told him not to ask, not to question why they were choosing to ignore their “no big cities rule” for Pittsburgh, of all places, and so he’d got the bags while she got the key, the grimy sun setting heavily behind her bleached out hair on the washed out walkway.

Afternoon sunshine stares through the blinds but he’s still lying still, trying to breathe sleepily when Scully emerges on a wave of her still familiar shower soap, and pauses at the foot of the bed. Mulder can feel her thinking, and holds his breath through her indecision, relief spreading from his lungs to his heart as Scully’s small hand wraps around his ankle.

‘Mulder?’ His morning breaks on her first word and he smiles at the thought though she is serious, stood in a worn but respectable floral dress she’d picked up last week in Goodwill, his only suit hanging from one finger. ‘Mulder, will you-’

‘Yes.’ He tells her. No questions, he would do anything for her. 

Scully watches him dress with a distant look in her eye, the still unfamiliar blonde of her hair a veil over one eye, and for a second he imagines marrying her, throwing aside fake names and false security for one moment of unity in the eyes of her God. But he was too selfish, choosing to have this runaway love in dark corners and forgotten towns, for as long as they can stay ahead of danger instead of that one true moment. He wonders if Scully shares that regret.

He looks for it in her eyes when she steps close to straighten his tie, but finds a peace there he had thought lost forever, just barely glossing over the tears he pretends not to hear her crying in the shower, but there nonetheless. She takes his hand and walks them into the late Friday sunshine.

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ALRIGHT LETS DO THIS

I’m equipped with a selective attention span and a moderate understanding of Japanese, TIME TO LAY OUT MY THOUGHTS ABOUT CHAPTER 49

Obviously: spoiler alert, I won’t try being vague either. Screenshots included, along with some minor translations that are more paraphrasing than actual translations. 

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Look, it’s Peter Pan!

+ Robbie Kay

author’s note: au but like… au-ish? probably v shitty imagine & sorta long and disappointing!!

Prompt: In which a boy named Robbie Kay is an actor at Disney, playing Peter Pan & he meets a girl but can’t break character to ask her out. 


Today is the day you and your family is going to Disney Land. The happiest place on Earth, tailored for even the oldest of ages.


A place and the figment of Disney its self is timeless, which is why you picked the special place for the whole family when you were asked to pick. 


A small, dainty hand is clutched to yours, the sweat seeping from the hand to yours. You look down and grin at your little sister who is so infatuated with Disney that she doesn’t realize she is sweating. 

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Caryl Spec. for 7x10/7x16

These spoilers have only confirmed my suspicions… I will die of a heart attack on Sunday night and I will do so happily and willingly.

But it makes me wonder too, that these spoilers are not even every single detail of 7x10, only a snippet of it. Not to mention it doesn’t specify how they look at each other while they say this dialogue. So it begs the question, what will happen in the moments that we DON’T know about? If the spoilers that we got are this good, then there’s even more potential for even more amazing Carylness!

Yes we know now that (SPOILERS) Carol initiates the first hug, and Daryl does the second, which is supposed to be a very sweet hug. But what about in between? Because with what they talk about and the hard angsty snippets of dialogue we’ve been blessed with, I can’t help but assume that they at least cuddle with each other, since hugging and cuddling are one of the best ways at comforting your boo. What about the looks they give each other, for I could only assume they would look at each other lovingly. What about if they cry, because if they’re not crying during the hugs then I’ll do it for them!! What about during the hugs themselves? We don’t know the details, so as far as we know, there could be lifts, head nuzzling, forehead/cheek kisses, hand holding after they part… *swoons*

But for me, there’s an even bigger question mark on what will happen during 7x16. The new spoilers have shown us that Carol does indeed love him but is still troubled by what she’s done. She even (SPOILERS AGAIN) wants to go with him when he leaves, and he hesitates on leaving, but neither listen to their urges. So it makes me wonder, how will their reunion play out during 7x16?

Carol will obviously leave the house once she finds out about Glenn and Abe, but of course she herself had said that she knew she’d kill people if she found out about who the victims were so she didn’t want to know (or so I’ve read). Something else needs to trigger her back from this torture arc, not just coming back in the fight, but to help her understand what she needs to do. 

What if it’s the fact that Daryl was captured and tortured that kind of brings her out of her funk? Hell yeah it’s bad that she lost two friends, one in particular a very close friend. But Carol is by no means stupid, and finding out about Daryl’s capture and torture will make her realize that he’s got a target on his back. And that if he gets caught again, he will die. So maybe, that’s what makes her realize that killing is necessary, because she would never forgive herself if she could’ve saved the man she loves most from death if all she had to do was kill a few saviors to do so.

Fast forwarding to 7x16, after all of the amazing fluffyness that was 7x10. The only reason it didn’t push forward in 7x10 was b/c of her emotional trauma, so to me they should do something more during 7x16. I used to think that 8x01 is when we’d get their first kiss, but I’m not so sure about that anymore (I flip back and forth on it all the time really).

To me, Carol will be so grateful to see him again that she runs and embraces him, and she’ll kiss him right then and there because she’s so relieved to see him okay, and he, although shocked at first, will happily oblige. Then comes 8x01 in the next season (again, the 100th episode), and maybe the big moment would be them to consummate their relationship. Yeah it does seem rather quick for Caryl, but they could start off the season with a small time jump of a few months. Or they’ll use the illusion that the 6 month hiatus brings, where it feels like to us that their first kiss happened so long ago, so it’s not as much of a jump to see them do the dirty 6 months later.

This is just pure speculation right here, but more than anything I am SO DAMN EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS IN 7X10. SUNDAY CANNOT GET HERE FAST ENOUGH!!

Caryl on loves!

Coming Home

Set after 6x14 – Killian returns and Emma finds him sitting on the steps of the front porch, in front of their house.
Word Count: 824
Read it on ao3 here ~ Read my other fics here 


Emma could feel her fingers going numb even though she had her gloves on. She didn’t mind – the cold nipping at her made her feel better than she had in the last two days. She hadn’t even driven the bug to the loft, which didn’t help her case. Every time she thought of the loft, she would picture the pitying glances she got from her parents, Regina, and Henry. Instead of it giving her consolation, she felt white, hot anger every time she thought of that. She chose to think about that instead of him. Instead of how it had felt to come back to an empty house – to know he had left; to know he had abandoned her. Which was why, as she hurried towards the house, she stopped short in complete shock. Relief spread through her as she saw him sitting on the porch. He looked up at her and she could see how unsure he was about her reaction.

“Killian,” she barely whispered, not moving. It was as if he was an illusion that would shatter the second she moved towards him.

“Emma,” he responded, standing up, trying to hide the crushing guilt that he felt when she didn’t walk towards him. It was one of those rare times where he wasn’t able to read her emotions behind her expression of shock. He couldn’t tell if she was happy to see him or not. There was a deafening silence before he said, “I’m sorry.”

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Gold Digger - A Roman Reigns One-Shot

Roman is having a hard time getting rid of his gold-digging ex-wife. What exactly does he have to do to get her out of his life permanently? Roman Reigns/OC. AU one-shot.

Yet another attempt at mass tagging:  @lavitabella87 | @cynda-wrasslin | @caramara3 | @alexahood21 | @nickysmum1909 | @iloveenzoamore | @fan-fiction-galore | @flawlessglamazon | @hardcorewwetrash | @helluvawriter | @emmarablack | @banrioncethlenn | @laigy2213 | @redalternativefirefly | @fmlallthewayup | @lilmisscrisis | @imagines–assemble | @knowdagirlm | @blondekel77 | @lclb12 | @shadow-of-wonder | @fandom-preferences-imagines | @reignsappreciationpagefics | @heilisk | @reigns420 | @withwordslikeweapons | @hiitsmecharlie @wwesmut@wwe-smutfics@romanreignsnet@romanreignsfanpage@roman-reigns-gifs@roman-reigns-empire@littlewrestlingnerd​ @smutwwe


“Do you need anything else, Mr. Reigns?”

Tearing his eyes from the paperwork on his desk for the first time in hours, Roman Reigns looked up at his secretary. “No, that will be all. Thank you.”

“Okay. Have a good night, Mr. Reigns.”

“You too.”

Once she shut the door behind her, Roman shook his head, chuckling quietly. He was well aware of the attention his secretary had been giving him these past few weeks. And not just her; there was a bunch of other women in the fray; fellow colleagues, clients, family friends; most of them far less subtle about their intentions than she was. When you were a very successful, newly single young man, such was to be expected. But as flattered as he was, he had no plans for another relationship, not so soon after his divorce.

He sighed heavily as she came to his mind. Sabrina. The redheaded goddess. The seductress. The Jezebel that nearly ruined his life.

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Nathan Prescott x Fem!Reader ~ Colors

Originally posted by chronosphere-child

The smoke lingers in the air only for a short moment before the wind blows the grey cloud away. Absently you wipe away the ash, which is falling on your knee from the cigarette that dangles dangerously between your lips.

A loud noise brings you back into the reality. One of the new kids probably lost a bet and had to activate the fire alarm. It happens quite often.  

The burning end of your cigarette lights once more as you inhale the smoke. You are not even thinking about leaving your favorite spot. The stairs in front of the back door of the school is a lonely place. Not even Samuel comes back here very often. It’s your time to be alone for a bit… until yet.

The door gets pushed open roughly. You are not fast enough to make space for the hurried visitor. The person bumps into you. “Hey!”, you exclaim extremely pissed, but your next words get stuck in your throat.  

Just a few inches away lies a gun on the stairs. A real weapon on the campus. Without a word the boy picks up the gun to shove it back into the safety of his red jacket. Clear blue eyes meet your [E/C] ones. You notice no color in them. Not a sign that these orbs are actually alive. Not a single feeling in them except for pure panic. Just dead blue eyes.

Neither of you says a word, but both of you know you saw the gun. “Want to take a puff?”, you break the ice cold silence, while you hold out your cigarette for the boy to grab. Nathan clenches his hands even tighter into fists. His knuckles are completely white by now.

“Cat got your tongue? … Or is the infamous Nathan Prescott afraid of smoking?”, a slight smirk appears on your lips matching to your mocking tone. “I don’t even know you!”, his mind is still racing, which results in being unable to form more than a single stupid sentence.

Your challenging pose triggers his arrogance. Nathan takes the cigarette with his free hand. Like you a few moments ago he releases a cold grey cloud. The two of you stare at each other through the smoky air, which makes the situation a bit mysterious. You are still waiting for a warning or his usual “I will sue you”-line, but after his first puff he seems more relaxed.

At least that’s what his dead blue eyes tell you. “That’s not a cigarette”, Nathan states after another moment. You give him a slight shrug, “I never said it’s one.” He doesn’t make attempts to give you back your Mary Jane.  

“You know you are chilled more fun, Prescott”, you are ready to continue with your probably shitty day. Nate grabs your arm to stop you from walking away, “If you say a word about what you saw I …” Bored you roll your eyes and interrupt him, “You’ll sue me and my family. Get yourself a few new lines, Prescott.” Matching to your sarcasm you take back your “cigarette”. It finds its old spot between your lips as you make your way back to your dorm.  

Of course you can feel his blue eyes on you. It’s probably the first time someone spoke back to him like you just did. To be honest you never saw such lifeless eyes. Somehow you want to fill them with colors and emotions. Even if you are not sure Nathan makes it to the day he gets twenty years old with this dangerous lifestyle of his. Such a shame for those beautiful but dead blue eyes…


Nathan grabs the strap of his camera tighter. Since three people saw him with a gun his mind is racing nonstop. He almost feels the pressure on his shoulders. It’s like a weight that drags him down into the darkness.

Suddenly Nathan stops mid-step as something or better said someone catches his full attention. You are lying on the grass with your own camera in your hands. The light shines on your [H/C] hair in a certain way that lures him in. Nate never payed attention to colors and light in pictures, but right now he feels inspired. There is a need to freeze time with help of a photo. Not his usual black white ones. A picture that lives because of the colors.

Without noticing Nathan comes closer until you notice his presence. “Prescott”, you greet him still focused on your camera. “[L/N]”, he responses in the same tone. Not even a bit surprised you raise your head to see what he wants. The sunlight blinds you for a second so you shield your eyes with your hands to get a better look at him.

It might be the light but he seems more alive for a second. “You did your research. Good but not necessary. I didn’t say a word to anyone about your… toy”, you get back to your work taking more pictures. For a brief moment anger washes over Nathan. Why does his reputation keep haunting him? He is way more than this … at least he was once more than his reputation, but that’s a long time ago.

Insecure Nate wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans. His head doesn’t work the way it used to do. Not a single word comes over his lips. “You are still here, Prescott…”, you comment his stand by modus amused. Only one glimpse at his face tells you to keep your sarcasm low.

Nathan, who rules the whole Blackwell Academy and half of Arcadia Bay, stands in front of you like a lost puppy. And that’s pretty close to how he feels.  

“Make yourself comfortable. Take a puff. You know, chilled more fun”, you give him your Mary Jane, while you release a last grey cloud of smoke. Uncertain about his decision Nate sits down an arm length away from you. “I don’t bite, Prescott”, he places his camera between you and him to reduce the distance. It’s just a little move and still he feels a bit closer to you.

Neither of you disturbs the beautiful silence with lame small talk. The sounds of the nature mixed with the clicks of your camera is exactly what he needs right now. Nothing bothers him. Not even a single bad thought tortures him. His reputation stays away. His family stays away. Everything is perfect even if it’s just a beautiful illusion for a few moments.

Like you two have done this before you hold out your hand towards him and Nate gives you back the Mary Jane. Out of the corner of his eyes he watches your movements closely. The cigarette dangles between your lips. The smoke that dances around your face in a perfect way. There is nothing you do differently and still your grey cloud of smoke seems more alive than his whole body.

“So, Marijuana”, Nate states before he could hold himself back. “Yup, keeps my sick mind sane. Sometimes I feel like an overflowing sink, but with drugs I’m just a colorful sunrise”, you explain as you lay aside your camera. It’s an unusual explanation, but Nate understands every word you say. Your Marijuana reminds him of his blue pills he takes sometimes to turn off his mind.

Adrenaline rushes through his veins by now. All the time he wished for someone who understands what he is going through. A person who looks behind his reputation and his bad poker face. Excited Nathan points at your camera, “I saw a few of your pictures. They are not bad.” And as soon as his self-esteem got pushed it’s beaten down again.

You literally can see how Nathan realizes what he said a second ago. There is this pure panic in his eyes again. At least you know what he tried to say, “Well, thank you. Yours are not bad either… Just a bit colorless. Don’t get me wrong. I love black and white pictures, but the world is already grey enough. The most people can’t see the colors around them anymore.”  

Nathan’s relieved next words get stuck in his throat as snow starts to fall. “Oh my god! Is that really happening?”, you hold out your hand to catch one of the snowflakes. It’s still pretty warm so why is it snowing? “Let’s take a selfie together to prove what we just saw!”, you exclaim excited like a child, while you grab your camera.  

You press your shoulder against his to get both of you onto one picture. Nathan isn’t even near to being ready for a selfie. Your energy and spontaneous way overwhelms him a bit … but in a good way. The picture shows you smiling and Nate being confused.  

“Wow, handsome”, you tease him smirking, which makes him blush for a brief moment. “You know; you are not even close to the things people say about you. The most people just don’t you know yet. Hell, you are quite nice … for a Prescott”, you say honestly as you take more pictures of the snowfall.

Nathan’s heart skips a beat just to continue to beat as twice as fast than before. He always was a book with a big unbreakable lock, but you are tearing through his pages and his ink without trouble and fear of what you might find between the lines. You don’t care about the things he has done or the status of his family. A day ago you saw him with an effing gun and still say he’s quite nice. How is that even possible?

Nate opens his mouth to reply also something hopefully nice as someone calls his name. Victoria waves her arm to tell him they have places to be. And the sad reality caught him again in its darkness. A quiet sigh comes over his lips, while he turns his head to face you once more.  

In the meantime, you got your bag and make your way towards the girl dorms. Against your sake you throw a last glance over your shoulder just to find Nathan already looking at you. The lifeless cloud lures him in so you give him your best smile.  

“Stay strong, Prescott.” It won’t be easy to bring him back on track, but he is worth the try…


“You are hanging out with [Y/N]?”, Victoria states the obvious surprised. “Yeah, got a problem with that?”, Nathan replies not as rough as he wished for. “Actually yes”, another voice behind them joins the conversation without their permission.  

David Madson crosses his arms as the two students turn around to face the security guard. “I don’t care about your opinion”, Nate is still high on the colors you spread in your near. Everything inside of him screams for inner peace and silence.  

“Oh, you will, boy. You are not going to lay a single finger on [Y/N]. She is a lovely girl with the power to do great things in her future, while your presence is just like poison. Killing everything nice in a person. You are toxic and not good for her”, David states fuming. You remind him of Chloe and he will do everything it costs to keep you safe from people like Nathan.

Victoria looks at said boy waiting for him to defend himself. There is nothing. It scares Nate how true David’s words are. He only is going to dull your sparkle and wash away your colors. “You are crazy, old man. Let’s go, Nate”, Victoria just drags him with her towards the halls of Blackwell. “I will keep an eye on you, Prescott”, David yells after them.

His words keep playing in Nathan’s head over and over again. They ignite his doubts and those bad thoughts to torture him again. “What’s wrong with you? Are you scared of this wannabe security guard? Your father will sue him and his whole family until there is nothing left of them!”  

Nathan doesn’t even listen to Victoria anymore. He needs to stay away from you, but how will he manage that?


Matching to the grey sky a few raindrops fall to the ground. The whole scenery is just as depressing as the fact that Kate tries to take her life. “No! Kate!”, you exclaim on the brink of tears. Your heart clenches painfully at the sight of your long-term friend.

She stands on the edge of the rooftop of the Prescott Dormitory. Her arms stretched out ready to jump into the emptiness. Fear paralyzes you completely. Not a single fiber of your body moves to safe Kate from her destiny.  

“Do a backflip!”, one of the students yell through the thick tension you can almost grab with your hands. It snaps you out of your helplessness. Tears run down your cheeks as you hit Victoria’s cellphone out of her hand. The anger wells in you like a volcano. “Are you fucking delirious? That’s a brand new…”, she starts to rant about your action.

“Are you even human?! There is a girl wanting to taker her life because of all of you!”, no one can feel the pain in your chest. Neither the fear to lose someone you are really close to. It tears Nathan apart to see you like this.

A crying mess and still perfect in every way fighting for the things you believe in. Victoria keeps arguing about her phone, while your eyes are glued to the rooftop. There is still hope for a miracle. No one got your back. No one keeps you company as you go through hell right now.

Nathan gives himself a mentally push to stand by your side. That’s his fault. All of this chaos came alive through his hands. Kate attempting a suicide. You crying your eyes out. David was right all along. His presence is like poison. His touch is toxic. It kills everything around him. He is no good. Especially for you…

Nathan takes your hand softly in his to let you know you are not alone. Everyone can see what he just did, but he doesn’t care anymore. Even Victoria stops her hate parade. You give his surprisingly warm hand a slight squeeze. It’s more than a lame “I appreciate that”. You don’t want to admit it, but you need him right here, right now.

Little do you know he needs you as much as you need him. You keep the bad thoughts and his doubts away. Nathan really tried to avoid you, but something keeps pulling him towards you over and over again. He’s like a moth drawn to the flame. You two smoked now and then together the last few days. It’s not really hanging out together, but he wished it would be more than that.

You snap Nate out of his thoughts as you let go of his hand. Relieved but still crying you bury your face in his shirt. Max talked Kate out of taking her life. It doesn’t matter it wasn’t you, her best and probably only friend. Kate’s alive … for now.

Nathan wraps you up tightly in his arms. “It’s okay. It’s over”, he isn’t the best at comforting, but at least he tries. And suddenly Nate is the colorful one of you two. The optimist hanging onto life. “Prescott! Into my office”, Principle Wells disturbs your little moment. Nathan’s blue eyes meet your concerned [E/C] ones.  

“You are in trouble, right?”, you can see it clearly in them. His doubts, his panic, his bad conscious. He releases you to follow Well’s order, “I’m never in trouble.” Oh, he is. And now you are pulled apart at the seams. Do you want your old life, which is Kate coming down from the roof, or your new life, which is Nathan who transformed from the villain to your shining knight in armor.

Your heart is torn so badly. Kate said all along he isn’t good for you. But what are you supposed to do?!


Sighing you inhale the smoke like your life depends on it and somehow it does right now. You let fill up your lungs with the grey cloud, while your mind gets knocked out by the drug. You are not allowed to smoke in the dorms, but who cares?  

A light knock catches you off guard. For a second you hope it’s Kate even if a part of you know it can’t be your friend. She is in a hospital hopefully getting better so she can leave soon. As you make your way towards the door you give the still white canvas a kick. Of course your creativity and inspiration leave you on your own when you need them most to distract your sick mind. That’s it. Your own personal chaos.  

“Prescott”, you exclaim surprised. “Hey… uh… I just wanted to check on you”, he gives you a slight smile you have never seen before on him. You can tell it’s honest. Nathan cares about you probably more he wants to admit.  

“Okay, I guess. Thanks for asking”, you step aside so he can come in. Nate accepts your offer and looks around taking in every little detail that tells him more about you. “Are you in trouble?”, you won’t beat around the bushes anymore. You want answers. Now. Nathan shrugs as he steps over the canvas that still lies untouched on the floor. “Tell me the truth”, you grab his hand to get his full attention, “I can see it in your eyes.”

Nathan escapes your grip roughly, “Do not analyze me! … Please.” He starts yelling, but ends up whispering the last word in a plead. An ice cold silence appears for a few moments. You pushed him to the limit what the people around him always do. It shows you how close to the edge he is.

“Is Kate … alright?”, he tries desperately to keep going the conversation. Nathan wants to make sure he didn’t destroy everything between you two. “Uh… I don’t know. She didn’t want to see me, but she is alive. That matters, right?”, you can’t fool him with your faked smile. Nathan already can tell the difference between them. Both of you know Kate rejected you because of him.  

The pure sadness in your eyes kills him inside. That’s more torturing than his doubts screaming at him in his head in this moment.  

You are no good for her. You are poison. You kill everything around you. Your touch is toxic. You will drag her with you into the darkness. You know that…

Nathan wraps you up in his arms as a single tear escapes your eye. You cling onto him for your dear life. To hold you in his arms feels so wrong and right at the same time. These unknown feelings you trigger in his chest are addictive. He doesn’t want to live without them anymore and still…

You lied. You lied all of your life and you dragging an innocent person with you. You will go down with your mask of lies. First suspended, then jail and death will be your last station. You can’t hide this side of yours forever. [Y/N] will find it and leave you because you are truly a monster.

“Nathan?”, you snap him out of his pretty dark thoughts again. The way your [E/C] eyes look into his soul makes him feel vulnerable. It’s almost like you can see into his soul. To your surprise he leans forwards to press a soft kiss on your forehead. “I’m sorry”, Nate means every word. “There is no need to apologize”, you reply slightly smiling. Oh, there is. You just don’t know it yet.

Nathan presses his lips into a thin line as you turn around to get your cigarette from the ashtray. It’s for sure he can’t go on like this forever. One day he is going to explode and spill every single secret he keeps. But for now he just wants to enjoy the time you two have left.

“I haven’t eaten in a while. Want to go the Two Wales Diner?”, you suggest wanting to get out of the dormitory for a bit. Your room seems like a prison cell showing every single memory you want to forget right now. “Yes… Uh… Here”, Nate puts his red jacket over your shoulders. You mumble a shy “Thank you” as he takes your hand in his like it always belonged there.

A few of the students stop for a second and stare at you two walking through the hallways holding hands. Nathan isn’t really the person of showing his feelings openly, but with you it’s different. He wants you to be part of his life and he wants everyone to know that. Your presence by his side pushes his self-esteem so extremely. Nate never felt that perfectly fine before without taking his meds.  

“What a beautiful sight! Mrs. [L/N] and Mr. Prescott together”, both of you stop immediately. Of course you recognize the voice of your teacher Mr. Jefferson. Nathan’s whole body stiffens and he gives your hand almost a painfully squeeze.  

“I need to speak with you, Mr. Prescott. Your last work was … not what I expected of you”, Jefferson doesn’t wait for an answer and walks a few steps away. There is an unspoken order Nathan should follow him. “Go to your dorm and stay in there”, he avoids to look into your eyes. You would see sheer panic in them. You don’t question his plead because of his shaking voice. Something is up and he doesn’t want to involve you.

Without looking back over his shoulder Nathan catches up to Mr. Jefferson. His happiness turned into a cold fist of panic clenching his heart together in its iron grip. “So, [Y/N]. I never thought of her to be our next guest in the Dark Room”, Mark takes his glasses of to clean them.  

“No! Please!”, Nate exclaims a bit too loud for Jefferson’s taste. The boy can feel how he traps himself in the net of his teacher. “Oh, you like her. That’s surprising me now”, Mark enjoys the fear in his widened blue eyes. Another mistake on Nathan’s list. “The Vortex Club plans a party. I want to see both of you there. You know the routine”, Jefferson orders without a trace of mercy and usually he gets what he want.  

“Have a good day, Nathan”, Mr. Jefferson leaves pleased with the outcome of this conversation. Nate feels how his mind completely shuts down as he realizes what he has done to you. He made the only person that genuinely cares for him to Mark’s prey. You are in serious danger.

That’s your fault. You are no good for her.

Tears start to pool in his eyes as he runs his fingers through his hair. No matter how he hard he thinks there is only one way to keep you safe. It’s going to rip him apart. It will turn his heart to stone, but it needs to be done.

“I’m sorry”, a single tear runs over his cheek.


It costs all your courage to raise your shaking arm. The light knock on the door keeps repeating in your head. There is an uneasy feeling in your stomach. Panic? Maybe. You haven’t heard from Nathan for hours since he sent you back to your dorm. And by now your heart tries to break through your ribcage to be free for the first time.

After an eternity Nate opens the door finally to reveal the mess he has become. His room is completely dark. All the blinds are closed, while the air is smoky. “[Y/N] …”, there is so much desire in his tired voice, but his once more dead blue eyes say something different. His mind is made up, but his body declines his decision. Now he wages a fight behind his mask.

“Is… everything okay? I was waiting for you and … I’m concerned. No, that’s not true. I’m scared”, you stumble over your own words. Nathan almost takes a step forward to wrap you up in his arms, but only releases a loud sigh.  

“Okay, there is something I need to tell you. I was only playing with you. Hayden and me had a bet running. I couldn’t know you would fall for me and clinging on me like your life depends on it. I have a reputation to keep so could you just stay away from me? It’s like one of your stupid colorful pictures. I was red. You are blue. Together we are purple. And know what? I hate fucking purple”, every word he says rips your heart slowly apart. Piece by piece.  

Against your sake tears escape your eyes. You don’t want to cry in front of him like a lovesick fool, but your body betrays you. “Nathan”, between the rushed breaths you manage to say his name hoping to change his mind. “Don’t make a scene now, [L/N]”, you can’t see how he clenches his hands into fists. Oh, how lovely it would be to punch himself right now.

“Nathan”, you try your luck again not knowing how close you are to tearing through his walls. “Leave. It’s better for you”, with that Nate closes the door. The wood isn’t thick enough so he can hear you crying for a few moments. That’s probably the most heartbreaking sound he has ever heard.  

Nathan rests his forehead against the cold door. Why can’t he do one single thing in his life right? With you he had everything and now he is on his own again. His only partner by his side is his bad conscious. He hurt himself with hurting you so badly.

“Nathan? You forgot your jacket on the ground”, Hayden knocks for a moment, but gives up easily as Nate doesn’t answer. You left it behind like he did it with you. He doesn’t want to get his jacket back, which has your scent on it probably. Suddenly all his walls break and Nathan curls up in a ball on the floor to cry his eyes out.  

Behind the blinds occurs the eclipse telling about the danger that comes towards Arcadia Bay.


“I’m so ready for the End of the World Party tonight. I can’t even decide what I should wear”, Victoria exclaims excited as she texts someone else at the same time. Nathan only nods his head hoping it would be enough answer for her. It’s no secret how heartbroken he is. The last few days he just hid himself in his room.

He is tired of keeping up his mask of lies. The sadness he bears in his heart drags him down. Even farther he ever was before. “Come on, Nate. You are no fun at all”, Vic notices his lack of attention. He wants to reply something as his mind shuts completely down.

There you are chasing down a blue butterfly with your camera in your hands. A slight smile appears on his lips taking in every move you make. He notices that you are not as colorful as usual. A cloud of sadness floats around you. It’s clearly to see you are heartbroken too.

“Can you believe it? [Y/N] almost begged that she can come to the Vortex party without being a member. So pathetic”, Victoria rolls her eyes confidently. Nathan’s smile fades away immediately, “What?! When?!” He grabs Vic’s arm desperate for the information.

“Chill down, Nate. She asked me yesterday, but I said no. Who does [Y/N] think she is?”, she replies escaping his iron grip. “But you are in, right?” The world around him starts to spin. His mind races and is blank at the same time. You are still in danger even if he stays away from you. Jefferson took a liking in you. He will do everything it takes to get what he wants.

“[Y/N] is not allowed on this party, okay? Tell everyone so she really has no chance to come. I don’t want to see her there”, panic rushes through his veins. Finally, Victoria lays her phone aside to look at him, “I know you two had something for a very short time – just to mention, but isn’t that a bit too dramatic? … Oh man, she really broke your heart.”

Nathan gets up from his spot on one of the picnic tables to pace around like a wild animal. “No, I fucked up this time. It’s my fault.” Vic furrows her eyebrows confused. He never admitted one of his mistakes so why now?  

“You are acting really weird, Nathan”, she says, but doesn’t get a reaction from him. “I need to sort a few things out. I’m back for the party”, Nathan runs towards his car without a goodbye. Victoria crosses her arms fuming he cares more about you than for her. She is still his best friend after the two went through together.  

“Hey, [L/N]! Still want to go to the Vortex party?”


“God, I’m so sorry”, Nathan whispers to himself, while running his fingers through his hair nonstop. He tried everything he can think of to keep Jefferson away from you. He begged, offered money from his parents, threaten to go to the police. Nothing worked.  

“Everybody hates me. Everybody … even [Y/N]”, he made a lot of mistakes but pushing you away was the worst of them. Somehow Nate always managed to keep his broken world up, but now it’s crashing into thousand tiny pieces, which are burying him underneath them.  

You are worthless. Are you finally accepting it? Took you long enough, Prescott.  

“Shut up! Shut up! … I know, don’t rub salt in my wounds. My life is hell”, Nathan tries to block out the voices in his head, but they keep screaming at him. This will never end. He is a prisoner of his own mind. The other guests of the Diner don’t even pay attention to the broken boy. Exactly like his whole life was.  

“She is better off without me”, is he trying to convince himself or the voices in his head? Nate closes his eyes wishing himself far away from his problems. “Nathan! You are out of your mind again!”, Victoria snaps him out of his thoughts as she sits down on the other side of the table. “The party is in half an hour. You have to be fit for that!”  

For a second he stares at her with his blue eyes, “For getting high I don’t need to be fit. Could you leave me alone?” He buries his face in his hands. “But the Vortex Club got a special guest! You don’t want to have a tripping mind in front of [Y/N]?”

Nathan lowers his hands in slow motion to look at Victoria, “What did you just say?” Maybe his mind plays a prank on him. Maybe all of this is just a super twisted dream. “You are going to clear things out with [Y/N]. Maybe after one or two drinks”, Vic explains her plan to bring you two back together. It’s not her intention to see Nate or you happy.  

“No! She is not coming! I told you!”, anger washes over him as he slams his fist on the table. Victoria isn’t frightened of him anymore when he does this. “Calm down. She probably is not going to show up anyway. That little brat had a nice conversation with Mr. Jefferson. He is worried about her and then they took a walk together”, Nate can see the jealousy in Vic’s eyes. Little does she know what monster Jefferson is. A monster on its hunt.

Without a further word Nathan runs out of the Diner directly towards his car. He plants himself behind the steering wheel as he searches through his pockets for his phone. Just in case he got your number if something like this happens.

A mixture of panic, adrenaline and energy rushes through his veins. It keeps his hands from shaking too much. “[Y/N] here. I can’t answer right now. Leave a message or try it again later. Thanks!” Mumbling a ton of curse words Nate throws his phone on the passengers seat.  

The car’s engine comes a live with a roar. Not caring about the traffic rules Nathan drives like a maniac back to the Blackwell Academy. A lot of students make their way towards the swimming hall where the party is located. He snaps his phone in case you call back before he gets out of his car to look for you. “Nate! The party started already!”, Taylor informs him smiling.  

What if Jefferson got her already?!

Nathan pushes himself to run as fast as possible to the hall. His heart stops for a second. How is he supposed to find you in the chaos of the party?! It’s too full of people and too dark to recognize a single familiar face in a rushed manner.

Nate boxes his way through the crowd as someone puts his hand on his shoulder. “Nathan! Good you are here!”, Hayden yells over the loud music. “Have you seen [Y/N]?!”, his panic grows every second he doesn’t know if you are safe. The already high boy shakes his head.  

On the limit he runs his fingers through his hair. Maybe someone else saw you. But the most people are way too wasted to recognize even their own parents. Suddenly a light beam shows Jefferson in the crowd of celebrating teenagers.  

Nathan knows he’s after him since he declined to drug you for the Dark Room. But as long he is on the party you are still out of his reach. Now it’s a game on time. Who finds you first?

Nate turns back to run to the Prescott Dormitory. You might be there safe in your room, where Jefferson never can’t get you. He’s angry at himself for putting you in such great danger. Breathless he sprints over the campus. Nathan pushes open the doors to the dormitory just to see Max, Chloe and Warren coming directly towards him.

There is not time to deal with them. With his head down Nate tries to get past them. Since he beat Warren up on the parking lot, the boy craves his revenge. “Care to explain, Nathan?”, Max holds out something. “I got no time for that yet”, he replies already caring on with his plan, “Wait! Where you in my room?!”

Before Nathan can take a step closer, Warren headbutts him roughly. Nate tries to grab his gun to scare them way. Unfortunately, Warren is faster than him and kicks the gun out of his hand. “You like hurting people, huh? Like Max! Like Kate! Like me! Like [Y/N]!”, Warren kicks and beats Nathan nonstop.  

“Stop! Please!”, he doesn’t beg for him. Nate thinks he deserves the pain for all the mistakes he has done, but your time is running out. Your life on the edge of danger and it lies in his hands to safe you from Jefferson.  

“No!”, the voice sounds familiar, but through the curtain of pain he can’t connect it to a face. The beating stops finally. A hand strokes his bruised cheek softly as he opens his eyes slowly. “Nathan”, you wipe the blood from his nose away with the sleeve of your shirt, “Oh my god! Are you alright?”

A single tear drops from your eye on his cheek, while he takes your hand in his. “Yes, now is everything alright”, relief washes over him that you are safe … for a while at least. “Come on, we are going to take care of your face. That must hurt”, with your help Nathan gets up from the ground. The pain hits him hard, but it’s not priority yet.  

Nate leans against the wall to take in how much you still care for him even after what he did to you. “We have no time for this. There is so much I have to tell you, but first of all… I love you, [Y/N]. I truly love you and I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I will explain you everything  when we get away from here. It’s not safe. I know you probably hate me, but do you trust me?”, his thumb strokes your knuckles softly.  

Without hesitating you wrap him up in your arms, “I never could hate you, Nathan. I love and trust you, but you have to tell me what’s going on.” Before he can say a word, the doors of the Prescott Dormitory gets pushed open once again.  

“We had a plan, Prescott”, Jefferson shakes his head disappointed. Nate takes your hand in his to drag you along the hallway. “Nathan! You know, you can’t run. I will find you!”, Mark yells after you two preparing his syringe. He will hunt both of you down if it’s necessary.

“Keep running no matter what happens!”, of course you are confused, but you trust him without a doubt. You remember the way you two run. It’s the way directly to the back door of Blackwell. He pushes you firstly out of the door, while he throws a glance over his shoulder. No trace of Jefferson yet, but he won’t give up easily.  

Now you drag Nathan with you towards the parking lot, where both of your cars wait. “There is no way out of this!”, Mark appears out of nowhere and is already too close for your taste. You close the door of your old truck right in time. Jefferson hits his fist against the glass of your window as you start the engine with shaking hands.  

And with that you two are out of his reach. Your heart keeps beating hard against your ribcage. You don’t know where you are driving as long as it far away from Mark Jefferson. Breathlessly Nathan puts his hand on yours. In what fucking chaos you just rushed into?

“We can’t go back, right? So where are we going?”, you break the uncomfortable silence, but your eyes are glued to the street. “A motel for now, I guess. Then we will think about our next steps. I … I have to warn Max. She was onto me and Jefferson. She is probably in danger”, Nate takes out his phone.

“Max, it’s Nathan. I just want to say I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt Kate or Rachel or … I didn’t want to hurt anybody … Everybody used me! Mr. Jefferson was coming for me. I hope all of this shit is over soon…. Watch out, Max. He wants to hurt you next so hurry… Sorry, I’m so sorry”, Nathan tears up between his confession and still you feel the same for him.

You give his hand a slight squeeze to show him he hasn’t to go through this on his own. The rest of the drive you two sit in silence trying to process this hell of a day. You don’t stop at the first motel in the case Jefferson is still hunting the two of you.  

The rain cools down your racing mind as you get out of your old truck. “Do we have even money to pay for a room?”, Nathan grabs your hand softly. It’s like he needs to make sure you are not going to leave him. “I’ve got a credit card. Don’t worry”, he gets out his wallet, while you two make your way towards the motel.  

“Oh, what brings two young people like you out here?”, the old granny behind the check in wants to know. She doesn’t wear glasses so you guess she can’t see Nate’s beaten up face clearly.  

Nathan puts his credit card on the table, “One room… please.” She furrows her eyebrows due to her unanswered question. “We are on a road trip”, you lie to hide the fact you two are on the run and go from your past.

“Oh, in Arcadia Bay is a terrible storm right now. Good, you are here now”, the granny searches for the key for your room. Nathan and you exchange a quick glance. “Have a good night, sweeties!” You follow Nate closely to fall into his arms after you closed the door behind you. Suddenly your mind realizes what the last few hours happened and what consequences are waiting.

“Okay, I want the truth. I don’t care how terrible it is. I want to hear every detail, Nathan”, you mumble into his shirt close to cry your eyes out. He sits down on the big bed and pats the place next to him. “It’s a long story…”

He tells you the whole story of how this chaos started. He spills all of his secrets. All of his mistakes. All of the trouble he caused. He lines up every flaw of his. He can be honest for the first time in forever.

“I fucked everything up what I can fuck up. I’m a monster. I’m sorry, [Y/N]”, for a monster he apologizes a lot. You run your fingers through his hair, while his tears wet your jeans. Nathan is curled up as a ball on your lap tearing up now and then during his story.  

“Nathan, you are ripped at the edges like a lot of people, but you are still a masterpiece. For me you are perfect and not even close to a monster”, you comfort him. Nate sits up to face you properly with his red and puffy eyes, “But you can’t forgive me, right? I can understand. I also hate myself like the rest of the world does.”

You take his face in your hands softly so you wouldn’t hurt him, “I forgive you, but you have to forgive yourself. Yes, I hate what you have done, but I could never hate you. You would have needed more support.” With your thumb you wipe a single tear from his cheek.

Nathan closes the gap between you two to press his lips on yours. A whole firework of emotions gets triggered in your chest as you start to kiss him back. He leans his forehead against yours after you two break apart. “Why didn’t I find you earlier? Everything could have been different…”

Without a word you pull him with you to lie down on the bed. It was a hell of a day and both of you deserve some sleep. Nate buries his face in the crook of your neck, while his arm is draped over your waist to keep you as close as possible. The fear of losing you will never leave him alone. The white ceiling stares back at you as you draw circles on Nathan’s arm. It takes a long time for him to relax and then to fall asleep finally. It’s over for now. You allow yourself to close your eyes.


Sad Ending

You open your eyes as you release a grey cloud of smoke. Absently you wipe away the ash, which is falling on your knee from the cigarette that dangles dangerously between your lips.  

A loud noise bring you back into the reality. It sounded just like a gun shot, but you are not quite sure. Could also be firecrackers in the bathroom once again. Nathan Prescott is famous for this old and really annoying prank.  

Beautiful silence wraps you up in its calmness, while your thoughts dance around in your head. The Marijuana keeps the bad ones low. Time seems to stop for a while as the sun starts to hide itself behind the trees.  

Suddenly your buzzing phone snaps you out of your daydream. A bit pissed that you got disturbed once again you answer the phone without looking who calls you. “[Y/N], reporting for duty”, is the first thing that comes to your bedazzled mind from the Marijuana. “[Y/N]! Didn’t you hear the sirens?! Come to the front door!”, Kate exclaims without a greeting.

Sighing you make your way to the said spot in front of the Blackwell Academy. The burning end of your cigarette lights once more as you take a deep inhale of smoke. A crowd formed in front of the doors, which surprised you a bit. What did you miss?

“Nathan shot someone in the girls bathroom”, you hear the teenagers whisper around you as you push your way towards Kate. “I knew something like that would happen one day.” - “He’s a bad one.” - “Now his father can’t help him anymore.” - “Poor little rich kid getting what he deserves.”

The mumbling dies down immediately when the doors get pushed open. Two police officer form a path in the crowd for the third officer who escorts a handcuffed Nathan Prescott. On the top of the stairs stands Principle Wells observing the scene with a sad expression on his face.  

Kate takes your hand in hers as she hides her face in your shoulder. She seems relieved that he got arrested. The bullying is going to stop now probably. Softly you rub circles on her back to comfort her and let her know she isn’t alone.  

Nathan’s head hangs low and his shoulders slump forward. It’s like the weight of the entire earth is lying on them. He probably needs also some comfort like Kate, but no one is going to do that. Nate is on his own once again.

He raises his head only for a few seconds. Your [E/C] eyes meet his clear blue but dead ones. There is no trace that these orbs are actually alive. No color. No feelings. Apparently Nate accepted his fate already. He surrendered to the demons around him. Everything inside of him died.

Your orbs are alive and full of color. But that’s not what hypnotizes Nathan. He can see sympathy in them. No disgust, no arrogance, no amusement. Honest and true sympathy for him. Nate could get lost in them, but he will never get a chance.  

In a crowd of people who hate him, he finds you. Way too late.

The officer pushes his forward so he walks a bit faster to the police car. All the people who pointed their fingers at Kate for this terrible video of her, are now doing the same thing with him. You don’t know a lot of his backstory, but he doesn’t deserve this. Being pushed by others destroys a person piece by piece. It’s a terrible slow death.

You feel bad for him even after all the thing he has done. Nathan will never know colors.

He will die with those dead blue eyes…


“Happy” Ending

A few soft kisses wake you up from your almost comatose and dreamless sleep. “I know you are awake”, Nathan comments your attempts to get five more minutes of sleep amused. In surrender you open your eyes to see him looking down at you, while a slight smirk rests on his lips. His alive and colorful blue eyes are beautiful compared to his dead ones when you two met.  

You two have nothing left except for the clothes you are wearing and his father’s credit card, whish isn’t unlimited. There is no place you have to be. No plan to follow. Nathan is completely free for the first time in his life. To be with a person who loves him unconditionally is all what he needed to feel alive again.  

“You… You are beautiful”, Nate presses a kiss onto your forehead matching to his lovely words. You notice how close you two are. He held you tight through the entire night. Maybe he was afraid to wake up without you by his side like this is just a beautiful but limited dream.

“Sweeties! I made breakfast”, the old granny informs you through the still closed door. Nate gets up from the bed you two share mumbling something about taming his hair. You roll over to lie on his warm side. Your whole life got turned over, but you couldn’t be happier right now.  

“Wow, handsome”, you compliment his wet brown hair that clings onto his forehead. How did both of you get so lucky? Nathan leans down to capture your lips into a kiss full of desire. “You are dripping”, you push him softly away from you, “I don’t need a shower yet.”

Smiling he grabs your hand in his hand to pull you out of the bed. You get his hint and follow his wish. “I’m starving. I hope the old granny can cook”, Nate pulls you as close as possible towards him. “Let’s find out”, you literally can feel his excitement of his new life. What will bring you the new day?

“Sweeties! I’m so happy you two are here. The storm in Arcadia Bay was terrible. It destroyed half of the town and even killed a few people”, the granny greets you as she puts two plates with scrambled eggs down on an empty table.

“Thanks”, you mumble suddenly not so happy anymore. People died. Maybe friends of you and you weren’t there. Your hometown destroyed. You should call your parents, but what are you going to say to them? You run away with a murderer and don’t plan to come back?!  

“We need to think of a plan”, you place your hand on Nathan’s to get his full attention. “Do we? Can’t we just drive until we have enough?”, he replies stuffing the eggs into his mouth. For a second you think about his suggestion. “I were never outside of Arcadia Bay”, you just never had time or money to travel.

“Then let this be our plan … if you want”, Nathan loves his new freedom, but he loves you more so he would give it up for you. If it’s your wish to go back, Nate will follow you without a doubt. And you know that, but it’s actually not what your heart desires.

“Okay, we are going on an adventure”, you agree enjoying his rare smile. “Slept well, sweeties?”, granny joins the conversation with two cups of coffer right in time. “Have never slept better in my life”, you admit. Nate raises just a thumbs up, because he’s busy eating.

That’s your new life. He is your new life. The clearly broken Nathan Joshua Prescott with the former dead blue eyes.  

“I truly love you, [Y/N].”  

5 Kinds of Romanticized Crushes That Will Mess You Up

I think “crushing” on someone is a natural thing, and in the right place and the right time, it can lead to something great. Most of the time it’ll pass, as it’s meant to, and we can look back and laugh at the ridiculous amount of time spent mentally replaying the one failed conversation that we still twitch about in the shower. Crushes happen, and they almost never equate to a magical romance materializing out of thin air.

But the darker problem with “crushing” is that it occasionally turns a real live person into a trophy, a sort of non-independent rubber statue imprisoned on a pedestal, and if you ever finally reached it, you’d either squeeze it too hard or please it too much. In both cases, both people lose.

Relationships are hard work, and absolutely require more than the initial illusion of fleeting chemicals in our easily tricked brains. That rush of first feelings is overwhelming, but it doesn’t mean a whole lot in the grander scheme: and we could save ourselves a lot of trouble if we took up Taylor Swift to “count to ten, take it in, this is life before you know who you’re gonna be.”

Here are five types of romanticized crushes that require a heavy dose of self-awareness. I apologize in advance for the snark: I’m only so impassioned here because I’ve seen how badly it can get out of control.


1) Hate Crush (aka Freudian Defense Mechanism)

What it looks like: You like someone, but you hate that you like them, so there’s a lot of passive-aggressive, mean-spirited, hyper-critical gas-lighting aimed their way. This looks cute in movies, but is often awful and humiliating to an actual human being with, you know, their own thoughts and dreams.

Problems: This can be irreversibly destructive if you drag someone long enough through your daily catharsis. I understand the psychology behind this—we resent what we can’t have or we just hate it when we feel so vulnerable with someone—but displacing anger out of confusion when you can’t “have someone” is a really dark, desperate issue that might require real help, immediately.


2) Aspirational Crush (aka I Love The Idea of You)

What it looks like: That really good-looking teacher or singer or authority figure looks great from far away, like a Monet or the brand new ottoman on Craigslist, and this positional power is the sole force of attraction. The way he speaks! The way she leads! The way he knows how to open his jacket button when he sits down!

Problems: When you fall for a hologram and find the real person, it’s like a great movie trailer for a mediocre movie: except you can only blame yourself. Getting to know someone takes time and work, and so does making peace with their flaws. A person’s accomplishments only tell half their story. Part of love is about knowing how to live with the prickly, icky underside of a person, and to stay past inconvenience when the image is shattered.


3) Parasocial Crush (aka Pathological Celebrity Crush)

What it looks like: A celebrity crush is usually harmless and even a ton of fun. Fandoms are the closest thing to virtual high-fives; I’m part of a few and the camaraderie is second only to the military. But all this becomes downright insane when social media fandom-entitlement demands that celebrities (who have personal lives outside the fictional characters they portray) must be super-personal and respond to every tweet and do special favors, often by comments starting with, “I’ve never asked this of anyone famous before, but you owe me, because I made you.” Followed by the reliably manipulative, “You must be too big-time since you won’t talk to nobodies like me.”

Problems: The problem is everything. It’s unhealthy. Please stop it. If they reply, awesome. If they don’t, they never owed you that. If that sounds cruel, then I hope one day you can answer the millions of messages you get from strangers while constantly in fear that you’ll never satisfy a single one of them when you do. Admittedly, a parasocial crush has worked exactly once, which means no, statistically none of us are the exceptions.


4) You-Owe-Me Crush (aka The Friend-Zone)

What it looks like: “So I opened the door for her, right? And she wouldn’t give me her phone number and home address and mailbox keys and her Netflix password!”

Problems: Look, I think some standards are too high and unreasonable (and really, some of us don’t have a right for such high standards if we haven’t done much of anything in life, and we should become someone worth catching before we go “hunting”). But besides the fact that no one should have to change their standards to settle for less, the main thing is that friendship is usually better. And there’s no such thing as a friend-zone. Maybe “biding your time” is a good strategy to wait for old age to strike down your awful co-worker. But for a date? It’s mostly creepy. Being “forever single” isn’t a free pass for pity. Now imagine, if you could actually be friends with someone without the expectation of their naked body in exchange, and if you stayed friends with them even if they dated someone else. No one should ever be encased in a “In Case of Emergency, Break Glass” chamber. Romance isn’t something that can be forced by “nice-guy-ing” your way in (if you think so, you ain’t no nice guy). If romance happens, I hope it’s because it was explored with honest motives and a non-slimy transparency. And if you’re rejected: I’m truly sorry, but I hope it doesn’t turn you into a resentful, entitled, sour-grapes monster. I’ve been there, and even I hated that guy.


5) Apocalyptic Crush (aka Totally-Bad-For-You)

What it looks like: You know that he or she is bad for you. You know where this is going. Everyone has warned you. I even managed to package your future-regret into this juice bottle and you tasted it and you know how bad this will get. I know you hate this lecture for the third time and—hey, where are you going? Heed my warning across this long hallway as you walk towards your imminent destruction! I warned you with my pointing finger of danger!

Problems: I have a lot of sympathy for this, because there’s this wild rebellious streak in all of us that wants to strike out against conformity. But I guess it depends on what you mean by those words. Crushing on a person who only brings out the worst in you isn’t very rebellious. That’s actually conforming. Finding a person who loves you and respects you and gets to know you for who you are? That’s pretty wild. I’m not so much warning you as encouraging you, You can do way better. And you can.

J.S.