she still has to be honest

Ribbons of Flame - Chapter Three

Description: Lucien has a little sister but no one knows of her except her loving mother, cruel father and other older brothers and members of the hellish Autumn Court. Eleanor “Ella” Vanserra has grown up in the Autumn Court under the cruel hand of her father and High Lord Beron. Once a bright and happy young girl she’s become a shell of who she once was. When Lucien discovers this new family will he and the inner circle be able to rescue her from the cruel fate the Mother gave her.

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter 

Okay, I’ll be honest this isn’t the best chapter. It’s pretty short compared to the others and a bit of a filler chapter. Nevertheless I hope you still like it!

Tagging: @highladyfxyre @high-lady-of-perranth @williamjem@photofeesh @escapingtheconstrictingboxes @thexscarletxwitchx @little-witchling-of-velaris@nerdperson524 @crazybookladythings @illyrianinterrasen@dreamingofradescapes  @night-and-stars-eternal@theoptomisticwolfgirl @dayanna-hatter

Trigger Warning: Mental and physical abuse, one small mention of rape and potentially destructive thoughts. 

Word Count:  2009

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Beginners guide for wlw mangas/manhwas

1. Tamen De Gushi (Ongoing)

Okay. Listen. This manhwa is for yall out there who just want a chill, innocent, non complicated, 50/50 fluff-to-humor ratio story. Blonde and Brunette. And listen, listen, listen… This is DIABETES worth sugar. The art style is really good too. It’s simple but somewhat sophisticated. So far it has 139 short chapters (about 12 pages per chapter). There’s a linear story to it, but it sometimes drifts to a completely different timeline. It updates about once a month, or sometimes once every two months. 11/12

2. Fluttering/Exciting Feelings (Ongoing/Currently in Hiatus due to Author’s health)

Before I even start with this, I got major Korrasami vibes out of it ho ly shit. Anyway, this manhwa is currently at chapter 68, and sad to say that the author may never continue the story again due to cancer and several other reasons. But I am still adding this manhwa to the list because it’s sooo good. It’s not as fluffy and humorous as Tamen De Gushi because later in the story, No-rae (brown hair) brings in some drama while Seol-a has drama of her own kind. The art is simple but it’s great enough to look amazing. Still though, the manhwa is great, but sadly… it might be discontinued :(. 10/12

3. Citrus [Saburouta] (Ongoing)

I like this manga. I like it a lot. The art is good anatomy wise, but sometimes it gets too…. much….. Here’s a note, though: These two are step sisters. Yes. You heard me right. There are a lot of love triangles, a lot of drama, a lot of “Im-gonna-kiss-her-wait-no-nvm” moments, but there are a lot of WELL-DRAWN kiss scenes and semi-sexual things. There is almost no story line? Well, there is, but it’s your typical high school plot. It barely updates, and it currently has 30 chapters. Probably updates once every two months. 8.5/12

4.  Yagate Kimi Ni Naru (Ongoing)

Yo, listen. This one is ……. VERY complicated. If you are planning on reading this story, I need you to know that this is as basic as I can put it: Nanami hates herself and doesn’t want her partner Yuu to fall in love with her, while Yuu is someone who can’t fall in love with someone. The art is simple but good god it’s really good *o*. It has fluff, but for every fluff there will always be some sort of angst right after or before it. There is certainly a plot line on this but it doesn’t focus too much on the plot. Characters are great and they have a personality of their own. Despite the “Im not in love” thing that is going on in this manga, there are many, many, cute parts. It updates about once every month or every two months. 10.5/12

5. The Love Doctor (Ongoing)

(PS: this image is misleading btw but it was too fucking cute) I. freaking. love. this. manhwa. so. much. Now, this has many, many fluff moments but it also has its bulk of angst and drama. Love(ish) triangles, dark past from both parties, and there IS an age gap between the two but I forgot how many years. Still though!!! It is worth a read! The art style is cute and light and adorable, but sometimes the emotions can start looking the same in each panel (especially for one of the characters). Updates, I believe, every month. 11/12

6. Pulse [Ratana Satis] (Ongoing)

Look at this art. Look at it. Isn’t it cute? Well, if you’re here for cute shit turn the fuck away cus this IS indeed cute, buuuuuut it also has sex scenes. There is also fluff and drama, and as you can see, one of them is a doctor. The art style is pretty well done and really sophisticated. I can’t remember if there’s an age gap? I’m pretty sure there is? Anyway!!! There’s a story, yes, and also a shitty ex that no one should like but everyone feels sorry for (for good reasons of course). 12/12

7. Magan & Danai / Magan he Danai (Ongoing)

This one reminds me of Tamen De Gushi a lot, BUT…. This one is directed to the life of two women who love each other and what happens in their daily life. The art is much more detailed that TDG, and the characters have very different personalities. Danai, the shorter one, is the more mature one but also the more feminine one while Magan, the taller one, is definitely a fucking cry baby. To be honest, idk how frequently it updates? But!!! Still!! Go watch!!! 11/12

8. What Does the Fox Say? (Ongoing, 2 chapters left)

Ho ly shit whe re to be gin…? Definitely not light. It is not full of fun or fluffy or innocent. This manhwa is dark, sexy, angsty, drama-filled, teeth gritting, and very complicated. VERY, VERY, VERY, Adult. A story with a beautiful young blonde who loves a much older boss, and the much older boss has a shitty ex that everyone loves who fucked up a lot but she has her reasons. This is one of those manhwas that you need to ANALYZE every. single. fucking. scene. It is one of those where each scene MEANS something and you have to keep a sharp eye even at the sex scenes. The art style is good. Not amazing, but decent enough. As I said, it ends in two chapters. It updates twice a month (from my observations). 12/12

*Note: These are all based on my observations

Things One Day at a Time did:

  • Is about a cuban family living in the states
  • Gives us complex and multilayered latinx characters
  • Talks about latinx stereotypes in a comprehensive and relatable way 
  • Shows us healthy relationships between latinx 
  • A nice loving and relatable relationship between siblings
  • Shows what it’s like to be a latinx immigrant
  • Has discussions about religion and what it means to latinx 
  • Has a strong latina veteran as a lead
  • Shows us the different hardships she faces as a veteran
  • Shows the stigma mentally ill latinx face within our own communities 
  • Support between WoC
  • Layered and complicated talks about feminism (within and outside latinx community)
  • Explains the hardships of what it’s like to be a latinx person having to leave your country behind
  • Has a storyline about undocumented immigrants 
  • Has a coming out story :’) 
  • Shows us the different difficulties/layers of what’s like to come out within the latinx community 
  • Is just a wholesome show that made me cry and laugh more times than I can count
A LIST OF SWAN QUEEN FAN FICTION

B/C I KNOW Y’ALL ARE TIRED OF LOOKING FOR SWANQUEEN FANFIC RECS ON TUMBLR SO HERES THE GOOD SHIT.

  • all of these are in english
  • if you have any recommendations or additions, please let me know!
  • some fanfictions that i originally planned to include on this list were deleted by their authors :( 


CLASSICS (favorites)

The Art Of Being Extraordinary - if you haven’t read this already, wyd? The ending will destroy you - be prepared to cry. 

Letters From War - another extremely well known fic among swen. a heart-wrenching and beautifully written AU fic. even if AUs aren’t your thing, seriously, give this one a try.

Emma is a soldier on reserve in Fort Benning. Regina is the Mayor of Storybrooke. Through a pen pal program designed to ease the ache of homesick soldiers, Emma and Regina begin sending letters to one another as their relationship grows from cordial acquaintance to something neither woman would have expected - until the letters stop coming.

A Trail Of Destruction - DEFINITELY a classic imo. this is one of my favorite fanfictions of all time.

A hostage situation in City Hall leaves behind a battered, broken sheriff, and a mayor wracked with guilt. Trigger warnings for violence and gun threats and general angst. Slow-burn swan queen.

Miles To Go - AU; emma and regina meet at a party and the rest is history. this ones pretty long (80 chapters), but so worth the read! angsty & lots of ‘sexy times’ 

Everyone has their own story, this one is theirs and it paints the picture of a love story that spans over two decades, with all the ups and downs and everything else in between. SwanQueen AU
 

Of Love and Loathing - a lot of angry sex in the beginning, which eventually turns into lovey sex. another well known and well written fic - this author is one of my favorites. *reaaallyyy hot smut 

“I have been sleeping with someone,” Regina began tentatively, an acute awareness that once she said the words out loud that the madness behind her highly unorthodox situation became all the more real, “whom I absolutely loathe.” •Emma/Regina•

Meet me Halfway - one of the first swan queen fan fictions i ever read! still a classic to this day. AU

Emma Swan works hard every night as a bartender, struggling to raise her son and save up enough to own her own bar. Regina Mills is an upper class New York photographer who wouldn’t normally spare a second glance at people below her. When their paths cross, their lives adapt to each other, but how much are they willing to change?

Love Undefined - in the process of re-reading this one because of how much i love it. angsty as hell but such a beautiful story.

It’s been eight years since the last time Regina and Emma saw each other, eight years since Emma lost part of her happiness, her family, and everything fell apart. But she hasn’t forgotten those three years in New York, or any of what Regina had brought into her life. A late night phone call to Regina takes Emma back eleven years to when they met, saved each other from loneliness, and Emma started learning what it meant to live. She relives the moments that had changed her life for the better, and even the ones that had hurt.

Teacher’s Pet - KNOWN AS THE ONE TEACHER/STUDENT FANFIC THAT EVERYONE HAS READ. 

Emma Swan is starting her senior year. Her friends tell her about the Creative Writing teacher that she has on her schedule and how no one had passed her class with an A, not even her bookworm friend, Belle. What will she do? And who exactly is this ‘bitchy Evil Queen’ as they claim her to be? SwanQueen. Student/Teacher. M for language and future chapters.

Lost in Translation - i wasn’t sure about this before reading it but i LOVED it. the description pretty much sums it up.

AU. Regina is deaf. Emma is the only one who refuses to give her pity. In response, Regina is thrilled by this new challenge and the stand-offs commence, but over time she finds out there is more to the blonde woman than just a target to throw a stinging quip and pointed glare at.

Send Up a Signal - emma and regina are actresses and their fans ship them with each other. ;)

Emma Swan is catapulted into stardom, the newest lead actress on a sanitized show featuring modern fairytales. Regina Mills is a long-undermined star with a chip on her shoulder and a thousand reasons why she’s invested. Naturally, they loathe each other on sight.Their characters’ fanbases, however, have other ideas.

Reset - SO. GOOD. 95 chapters. if you’re looking for long fanfics, this is for you. 

Following the breaking of the curse everyone in Storybrooke is finding their happy ending, with one exception. Resigning herself to having lost Henry’s love and respect forever, Regina decides there is only one path available to her.

Take Me Home Tonight - AU!! lots of smut :) this is a newer one that i’ve seen around twitter and tumblr and i really enjoyed it! this one’s pretty short (14 chapters)

AU: Nineteen year old Emma Swan is a senior at the exclusive all girls boarding school, Foxhaven Academy. When her friends find out she’s a virgin they send her to the city to find a guy to take her v-card. But Emma is more interested in a sexy older woman she meets in a bar. A SwanQueen story.

The Staircase - non-consensual sex in the first chapter, so please be aware of that; its not for eveyone. this story is very dark but has a happy ending i promise!

Regina could still smell her cologne and feel the cheap pleather pressing into her back. The brunette sucked in a breath. She was still lying on the floor at the staircase’s base and she stared back up at it. Everything was different now. Changed. She felt broken by what had just happened, appalled and enraged, dirty. WARNING: NC17 for non-consensual sex. Dark. (But gets lighter.)

the trouble with emma - very very well known within the swan queen community. i’ll be honest, i never really got into the story but i can acknowledge that it is the most well-written fanfiction i have read to date. the author is truly talented. (the first in a series of fanfics)

Post ep 4x23, Emma becomes the Dark One and learns nothing is quite as it seems or as simple as black versus white. When Regina removes the curse no one in Storybrooke is prepared for the far reaching fallout which leaves none of their lives unaltered or untouched, least of all Regina’s.

SMUT 

shadow haven  - the one smut fic everyone has read.

Emma Swan is a PR agent who is sent on a holiday by her boss. Regina Mills is the owner of a private island named Shadow Haven. There is more to Regina than initially meets the eye. This story dips heavily into the BDSM subculture. Swan Queen romance / BDSM story.

the wicked stepmother - the one kinky fic everyone has read- or attempted to. i couldn’t get through the whole thing but the first few chapters,,, holy hell.

When the Evil Queen catches baby Emma along with Snow White, she decides on a new revenge. In Storybrooke, Snow White will be allowed to raise her daughter… but on her eighteenth birthday, Regina will come for her. Emma might just enjoy that.

in control  - Regina had never been in the habit of relinquishing control, but when it came to Emma Swan, she was starting to find out that giving in had its benefits. - Established Swan Queen - One Shot. Rated M for language and content.

the collar - It will carry strong mature themes as well as a Mistress/Slave relationship but it is also a lot more than that. However, as a warning this story will celebrate the shades of grey of our favourite couple as they find their way to each other and will deal with darker elements of their characters. Emma’s history differs a little from canon but will be covered by the story but there is no Henry and she is an adult in this fiction.

a little taste  - author of A Fine Line and Letters from War. 

Emma has been desperate to know what it’s like to kiss the smirk off of Regina Mills, but when she finally gets the chance, it doesn’t seem to be enough.

tempest - A storm ushers in an expected opportunity for Regina to finally rid herself of Emma Swan. She will posses the sheriff’s heart and then crush it. But what happens when nothing goes as planned? Rated M for language and Swan Queen sexytimes.

come on be nice - Regina has decided that the quickest way to get rid of Emma Swan is to scare off the commitment phobic woman with a come-on. This, as with many of Regina’s plans, does not go as, well, planned. Rated M for Swan Queen sex.

black lace - Emma and Henry find a way around the 'no visiting’ rule involving binoculars and the walkie talkie. Emma’s attention is fully on her son, she truly doesn’t intend to watch Regina at all. At least until the mayor begins undressing in front of her window..

dirty words - Regina is plagued by thoughts of a certain blonde. Deciding she is in need of cathartic release, she writes a quick narrative in hopes of cleansing her system. However, by a happy accident, the story falls into the wrong hands. What will Emma do with this new and intriguing insight into the mayor’s mind?

damn you, miss swan  Emma visits the mayor one night with a bottle of wine to cheer her up. Anger issues and smeared lippy ensues. WARNING: Includes a non-explicit passing reference to rape. This is my first story. A/N Jan 2015: Way back when I wrote this, no one knew anyone’s back stories, so I just made up stuff. Don’t be upset for canon divergence if you read it now. It wasn’t canon then.

mirror tricks The Evil Queen has made her way to Storybrooke, but she only seems to be interested in one thing: Emma. When Regina realises this, her jealousy starts to get the better of her.

my enemy’s enemy After her mother’s death, Regina finds a terrible surprise hidden among the witch’s belongings. Unfortunately, the only one able to cure her from the ailment is Emma…if she agrees. Strong language and mature themes. First stab at SwanQueen :)

ANGST

to remember her happy ending - “She doesn’t even remember her family! How am I going to explain this to her when she hates me!” She was falling apart now. The way the women in the other room had just looked at her, with such disdain. That wasn’t her wife. That was the Mayor, the Evil Queen maybe…but not her wife.

for endings are where we begin Regina Mills is your average working mom - she spends long hours at her bakery, loves her son Henry with all that she is, and can touch dead things and bring them back to life.Emma Swan is an orphan, an ex-convict, and a bail bondsperson residing in Massachusetts. She is also currently dead.This is the story of how they meet.

the loudest silence - New to Chicago Emma, a professional cellist, is shocked to find that a beautiful deaf woman is her new president of the board. As their friendship grows Emma begins to wonder, what does it look like when a world of sound and a world of silence meet somewhere in the middle? SwanQueen AU

broken 16 year Emma Swan is a preachers daughter on a tight leash, what happens when Regina Mills returns to town, dark, mysterious and dangerous? Will her father’s expectations take over or will Emma follow her heart? Is Regina legit or is Emma cute little pawn? Will Emma be able to love Regina for who she is or will her dark past ruin it ALL! SwanQueen G!P Some BDSM

bring her home Cora’s dead. Henry lives with the Charmings. Regina continues spiraling through grief and loss and hatred. Then Emma suddenly falls unconscious and Henry shows up at Regina’s door because he needs her help to bring Emma back. Reluctantly, Regina embarks on a wild swan chase through Emma’s mind, a whirlwind of ‘roads‐less‐traveled’ and ‘what‐ifs’ and ‘might‐have‐beens’, in order to bring her home.

if the blazer fits Emma decides to dress up like Regina for a Halloween party at The Rabbit Hole, a seemingly innocent decision that surprisingly leads to a relationship. The romance is openly feared by some and secretly despised by an unlikely source, who plots to end it.

a fine line Upon Regina’s banishment, the small town of Storybrooke becomes protected once again by an enchantment that prevents anyone from leaving or entering Storybrooke. Emma and Regina find themselves on the edge of the town, wishing for a way to the other side.

a pale imitation Regina is furious with Emma after she brings back Marian, but since she can’t take it out on her, Regina creates a mindless clone of Emma to hit instead. The clone doesn’t stay mindless for long though, developing an obsession with Regina. Written for summer 2014 Swan Queen Big Bang. (TW for sexual assault/rape and graphic depictions of violence)

FLUFF

one fine mess - Regina’s gut twisted with an agonizing pull and, for just a moment, she thought she might need to take up the same position as the woman crouched before her. “You’re pregnant?” she whispered grimly. Emma’s only response was to turn and retch into the toilet again. — Swan Queen, magic!pregnancy

coffee at midnight - (so good) Slow burn AU that starts with two women from different parts of the USA meeting on Twitter. Emma is an insomniac loner who is a Personal Trainer. Regina is a writer with a sleepless baby. Their lack of sleep and love for coffee soon brings them together and after that they find it hard to part. This is a fic where coffee is taking to mythical levels, despite it’s bad effect on people with insomnia and people with babies - showing that sometimes what you need and want isn’t always the thing that is wholesome and harmless. But also that denying yourself it will only lead to misery, something which Regina has to apply to other parts of her life.

all the single ladies With the library in desperate need of renovation, Storybrooke prepares for a fundraising dinner and bachelorette auction. What mischief and romance can be found as a result? SwanQueen with some RedBeauty Rating has been raised to M - now including adult content.


TEACHER+STUDENT / EMPLOYEE+BOSS

teacher’s pet - see above (classics)

take me home tonight - see above (classics)

step into my office, baby  - This is what you get for doing the nice thing, Emma thinks. You do that whole Pay It Forward bullshit - you buy a lady some coffee and you pretend like it isn’t totally motivated by how she looks in a pencil skirt - and she goes and insults your business card and turns out to be your company’s new Executive Director. Real fucking cute.From now on, she is drinking tea.or, the one where they’re in an office.

teaching miss mills  - Swan Queen Teacher AU: Emma is a gym teacher, who moves to Storybrooke Academy after becoming disenchanted with her job back in Boston. Regina Mills is the Head of English who Emma somehow seems to keep having run-ins with, despite the best of intentions. Along the way, Emma adjusts to small-town life, gets her teaching mojo back and grows closer to Regina. NOW COMPLETE

troubled teachers - COMPLETE! SwanQueen AU. Geography teacher Emma Swan starts a new life far from her troubled past and meets history teacher Regina Mills. But all is not as it seems when it comes to the composed, intelligent, and beautiful brunette. Family struggles and difficult relationships lead to a friendship and soon something more blossoms. Rated M for Ch 7, 18, 22, 24, 28, 29, 31, 35 and 38

not a virgin anymore When college student Emma Swan wakes up one morning with no memory of what happened the night before she’s very surprised she finds herself in professor Mills’s bed. 

is that so, miss swan? - College student, Emma Swan, is confronted by her favorite professor and secret heart-throb, Dr. Regina Mills. What happens when Emma is forced to reveal her secrets? We shall see. AU. Slightly OOC at times. No magic. SwanQueen. Rated M for serious language and eventual sexy times between our two favorite ladies.

butterfly effect - in her final year of college, Emma finds she has more to account for than the extra credits she needs in order to graduate. Only… she doesn’t expect it to come in the form of her newest instructor, Professor Regina Mills. Complete. AU Swan Queen

a sophisticated seduction Emma’s a college student, working as an intern at the Dazzle Magazine for a powerful woman she has never had the good fortune of meeting. But everything in her life is about to change when they finally meet. Especially when one falls so deeply in love with the other and the insecurities from a broken marriage comes to light. (Not Based on The Devil Wears Prada)

some other faves

down east decisions - Massachusetts State Police Capt. Emma Swan leaves her red-hot career to become the police chief of sleepy Storybrooke, Maine. She’s hoping for a less-complicated, less-dangerous life, a desire that is dashed on both counts. AU. No magic. Crime drama and romance. Swan Queen is endgame.

that drunken night - Emma’s wasted and accidentally calls Regina instead of her mom. And Regina isn’t as loathe to talk to the blonde as she usually pretends. Did things change between them so radically while they were in Neverland? (No copyright infringement intended.)

chasing henry - SQ. Tired of the tricks and lies of both of his mothers, Henry follows the dwarves, Red and Granny when they use Tiny’s magic beans to return themselves to their old land. Emma and Regina both chase after him, and they reluctantly travel together through the Enchanted Forest in order to find him and bring him back home safely.

so does this make us both the other woman? - Set after 3b in a peaceful Storybrooke where Regina is with Robin and Emma’s fallen into a relationship with Hook. Shame about all that subtext that’s rapidly threatening to become text.

Imagine being in a relationship with Jensen for years and getting married in secret and him revealing it in an interview.

“Well, I really feel like I need to give you great congratulations for the movie once more. Nobody expected it to be such a blockbuster but we were pleasantly surprised, I’m sure it must have been for you too seeing as- it’s the first time you act on a movie together, am I right?” the interviewer asked and you nodded your head, glancing at your costar and… husband.

“Yeah, well I- I’ve been out of the big screen for some time now because I- because of Supernatural, and I love don’t get me wrong. It was my choice because I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, even if sometimes the shooting is exhausting it’s all worth it.” Jensen gave her a charming grin.

“I’ll agree, they’ve got like the best crew I’ve ever met. Everything works out so well and- and that’s even more surprising seeing how much they goof around I- at times I wonder how they get anything done there!” you laughed and Jensen chuckled, nodding his head with a shy smile.

“We’re all a bunch of kids, I’ll admit.” he mumbled as you rubbed his shoulder.

“But they really have the best of the best there. From director, writers, crew to cast, I think that’s what has made the show so successful so I don’t blame Jensen or anyone if they’d never want to leave that! They are really a family and- and you can feel that you know?” you made hand motions “You feel it from the first day and you feel so welcomed you just could as well stay there forever!”

“Speaking of which, though-” the interviewer spoke up with a smile “-Congratulations (Y/n)! I learned that you have been cast to play a surprise character in the show this upcoming season, is it right?”

“Uh yeah, yeah I have! It was amazing, the soonest I found out they wanted someone for a role I just went for it. I didn’t care what it was as long as I could be there even for one effin episode, it will be more than that yeah but still.” you nodded your head.

“Yeah, and I secretly believe that she was just cast to be there to take care of us. I mean “Two oscars?”-” he made a deep voice and a funny face “Screw that, she can keep Jensen and Jared under control; you’re hired!” he slammed his hand on the chair and you giggled as he laughed along with the interviewer.

“I can almost believe that to be honest.” she laughed “But to be honest, and just because we saw how people reacted to the news: Do you not think it has to do with the chemistry you two seemed to have in the movie? And-” she raised a finger “-Before you answer, let me tell you that 9 out of 10 critics pointed out how great your acting together was, as it’s obviously well known. The fans have not stopped shipping you like crazy after this movie, asking for as much as they can get of the two of you together in a screen, big or small.”

Jensen had a sly smirk on his face and you kicked his foot slightly, trying to keep a serious face on “Well-” he cleared his throat, getting a little serious himself, or at least trying to “-I mean look at her!” he showed you off with both his hands “How can someone not have chemistry with this woman?”

You giggled shaking your head with a blush “J!”

“We- we just clicked, from the first moment; I think that was it.” he said with a fond smile and you knew that even if she thought the first day of shooting you could understand he met that first time about ten years ago in a coffee shop “There was a connection, there was defintiely understanding, an unspoken agreement and-”

“Lots of spilled coffee.” you added with a giggle and he laughed next to you.

“Lots of spilled coffee too, yeah.” he had a boyish grin on his face.

“There was chemistry, yeah.” you spoke more softly “Maybe we didn’t see it from the first moment, but it was there. We don’t act like any other couple- screen couple I mean.” you hurried to add “You’d really be surprised to see us communicate, maybe freak out a little bit too.” you chuckled and Jensen did the same “But we- we work, that’s what we know and we’re glad that people could see it as well and that it helped the movie so much; in being believable and true I mean.”

“It really came out of nowhere for some, me including let me tell you. I might be fangirling a little now, but your ship is a really big thing and I know this Halloween what I am going to dress up with my boyfriend. With both the new season of Supernatural and a Sequel in the works the ship has sailed!” she said with a wide grin and you and Jensen laughed.

“You tell me!” he grinned “Wherever I go someone will talk about it and you know what? I completely understand!” he nodded his head.

“Of course you would.” you said with a small smirk and he gave you a look that just made you shift in your place uncomfortably.

“And you know-” he suddenly said, turning to look at the interviewer “I ship it too. Yeah, I ship us like you have no idea but I think I’m the number one fan here because this has been my ship for much longer than yours!”

“Really? That would be an interesting story to hear!”

“Oh you bet!” you exclaimed, remembering how much he tried everything in his power to get to you to say yes in a date with him.

“You know?” she raised an eyebrow and you nodded your head with a grin.

“I was drunk, that’s the only thing I have to say! I was drunk, for everything! Just getting it out there, before he says anything.”

“Excuse me?!” he gasped, looking at you in fake shock that made you and the other woman laugh “Ouch!” he placed a hand over his chest.

“You know what?” he looked at the interviewer “You think a woman loves you, you do everything together: Jump off cliffs, kill aliens, go through the end of the world and almost give your life for each other and that’s what she says: I was drunk. Pff” he scoffed, shaking his head “You end up getting married and after almost a year she tells me she was just drunk, can you believe that?” he asked, his voice almost squeaky as the woman stared with almost wide eyes between the two of you, her smile vanishing slowly as she got more shocked.

“Wh-what?”

“No, really. I even buy her flowers every chance I get- not just anniversaries but well, she was obviously drunk when she said yes.” he said with a clearly fake hurt face and you giggled as the interviewer gaped at you.

“You two are-” she ended up grinning as you nodded your head with a shy smile

“Ask the wife.” he said with a small pout as he rested his chin on his hand, his wedding ring more evident at that moment.

sworn to the sword rewrite:

  • pearl is hesitant to train connie at first, because she is so young. connie insists
  • pearl turns out to be a kind, patient teacher who who starts it slow, and even goes overkill on the safety precautions. connie is annoyed and insists that she can handle serious training and lies that pearl is overestimating how fragile humans are. pearl believes this, since she doesnt know so much about how full humans work
  • steven quickly finds out that connie is pushing herself way too hard and hiding her physical pain from pearl. she tells steven to keep it secret or else the gems will look down on her. she blames herself for being “just a human” with none of the cool abilities steven has. steven understands bc he also often felt looked down upon for being weaker than the gems
  • the song is from connie’s point of view. pearl sings the training instructions; connie sings to herself about not being good enough. she’s the one that calls herself “just a human”, not pearl
  • steven doesnt know what to do. he goes to garn and ame for help. they freak out and tell him that pearl would want to know, that she’d be the most concerned of all of them because she personally knows what it’s like to push herself too hard
  • garnet describes how dangerously self sacrificing she was during the war and how long it took for pearl’s self-worth to recover. the backstory is shown not to say ‘oh wow poor pearl!!!’, or to say that poor mental health makes you hurt others. it’s shown to say that pearl knows what it’s like and wants connie to be safe.
  • steven rushes to tell pearl. she FREAKS and pulls connie aside to tell her how harmful that mindset is. that no one should see themselves solely as an asset to another. that she would never want connie to suffer how she did. and that pearl vowed to protect humans, not hurt them. 
  • there are still parallels between pearl/rose and steven/connie, but healthy ones. pearl says “rose never wanted me to do that to myself, and steven would never want that for you either.” not “oh hi im the Crazy Lesbian Stereotype and im harming you kids by being gay!! im gonna push my unhealthy lifestyle on you bc thats what we lesbians do!!”
  • pearls crush is still heavily alluded to, with pearl blushing while talking about rose and other lighthearted cute stuff. not “wow being gay made me hate myself! :)”
  • pearl gives a very explicit heavy moral about how those who love you also want you to love yourself. she then tells connie that she’ll only train her if connie is responsible and honest about her limits
  • there is no implication that pearl only is overprotective of steven bc he has rose’s gem, or that she sees him as her at all. it’s revealed through pearl’s delicacy with connie that she was overprotective of steven bc he’s half-human
  • maybe steven speaks up about feeling weaker than the gems. pearl says that he shouldn’t have to be physically strong, that she’s there to protect him. this resolves stevens earlier worries that she’s disappointed in how human he is, as shown in the healing tears ep.
  • the episode focuses on connie and her pain, not pearl
  • on that note..connie’s low self esteem wouldve been better established as being from bullying or w/e, not her strict parents, bc that plays into the tiger mom stereotype

episode two :: Yuri realizes, suddenly and terribly, he might be a little bit in love.  


Victor doesn’t even try to go to sleep.  He just lays in bed with his laptop, watching the thirty-seven takes of Yuuri trying to get “hi, I’m Yuuri Katsuki, and I’m the Bachelor” out of his mouth.

Don’t they know who I am?” Yuuri slurs on screen.  

Yuuri, you have to put the champagne bottle down, you have to pretend to be sober,” Phichit says off camera, all authority gone from his voice.  He’s trying not to laugh.

Phichit,” Yuuri says, and he takes a big swig from the bottle, bubbles pouring down both sides of his lips. “You can’t tell me what to do.  I’m Yuuri Katsuki, and I’m the motherfucking Bachelor.

Keep reading

The Thirst Order’s Greatest Hits Collection!

@fuckingkyloren

Lo is known, I think, primarily for her Kylux/Reader work, so I’ve included one of those, here—but she has great work outside of that, too. Her work gets straight to the fucking (hohoho) point and is just excellent smutty fun.

Whenever I Want: This is a Kylo Ren/Hux/Reader threesome—and it’s one of those that, despite me not being into Hux, like, at all, I find myself still thinking about.  I think that alone is a testament to its hotness—but it also has some good, nasty shit like cum-sharing and snowballing.

Kylo Gets Off: The title is self-explanatory. We all love Kylo Ren jerking off. But getting nearly 1000 words of it is such a blessing. He jerks off to the thought of fucking Hux and Reader at the same time. Usually I don’t like sharing someone’s fantasy spotlight, but I love this.

Punishment: I’ve recc’d this before on, like, two other lists, but I won’t stop reccing it, because I love it so much. This was, I think, one of the first sub!Kylo fics I read and loved. I still think about the line, “It’s so good,” he answered. “So warm and fucking wet…” Like, kill me please.

@kylophiliac

If you’re looking for weird stuff, sad stuff, or bloody stuff, Jinx is your girl. Not only does she have unique takes on certain AUs—her writing is fantastic. Her descriptive language is dark and poetic and beautiful.

A Full Confession: Okay, this seems self-aggrandizing, but hear me out. Almost all of the ideas in this fic, and a ton of the gorgeous/tongue-in-cheek imagery come from her. It’s easily some of her best writing, and you’d be doing yourself a disservice not to check it out for that reason.

Exposed: I really love vampires. I really love Kylo Ren. So why not both? This is the answer to that question. Good imagery, hot sex. Is there any more we can ask for from a Vampire!Kylo fic?

The Angst Files, Chapter 3: All of the chapters in this collection are great, but this one is a favorite. Not only for the idea of Kylo Ren getting hard from his own tears, but the sex is visceral, too. A Sad Boy Sex Hall of Famer, for sure.

@bestwithalisp 

Maybe even more than she loves writing Kylo Ren, Beth loves writing Ben Solo. Her Ben Solo work is fantastic, and I’ve included one of my faves. Her smut is raunchy and her dirty talk is nasty as fuck. She pulls no punches.

Frozen NSFW: Beth will probably kill me for putting this here, but oh well, I’ll face death bravely. Frozen NSFW is a fantastic collection of dubcon/noncon scenes as Reader navigates her life as Kylo Ren’s new sex slave. And Kylo is just… an asshole. A hot, sexy, asshole.

Solidarity: I’ve recc’d this before, too, but, look. I said this was the greatest hits, goddammit. The sequel to another piece she so thoughtfully wrote for me, you’ll find doggy-style dubcon inside. I frequently think about the line, “Fuck this is the perfect little cunt. I think I need this to greet me at the end of every day.” Christ.

A Hasty Landing: Just one of many great Ben Solo pieces, this is one of my faves because of the intimacy and heat captured. I love the way Ben is written—snarky and naughty and fun.

@faestae

It was hard narrowing down the list of Fae’s fantastic works to just three. There’s so much by her that I truly love. She’s incredible at laying down themes in even the shortest one-shots, her characterization is always engaging, and her imagery is unique and evocative.

On the Desk: I’ll be honest. I’ve probably gotten off to this thing like five or six times. Professor AUs are hot, but this is just beyond everything I could want from one. Professor Ren is dirty as hell.

Okay, Fine: No smut in this—but it’s one of my favorites. A twist on the sweetness of a Coffee Shop AU, this fic instead features  an antagonistic relationship between Kylo (in his triplet form) and Reader. Enemies to Lovers, perhaps? Great dialogue, great characterization, great narrative. It’s good-feelsiest fic around.

Don’t Tell Kylo: In this fic, you’re double-teamed by Organa Solo triplets Ben and Matt. This fic is a perfect hallmark of Fae’s style—it’s hot with a consistent thematic foundation and strong emotions.

@satans-codpiece

Because Kat is known most widely for Love is a Four Letter Word, I wanted to take this time to point out a few of their other excellent works. Kat’s narrative style is so immediate and engaging, and their language has the ability to drag tears of out of me, which is, like, unheard of.

All Tied Up: This work is heavy noncon. Reader is kidnapped by the twisted triplets and horrible things happen. You should absolutely not read this if it isn’t your thing, but I could not fail to recommend it because if it is your thing, it’s fucking hot as hell, and you’ll love it.

On Display: Reader is fucked against a window by Kylo Ren, an officer gets off to the show. Exhibitionism/voyeurism are one of my big kinks, and this piece just… hits all the right spots. One of my faves.

Infraction:  In relative terms of the Kylo Ren fandom, this piece is older. But it’s still one of the hottest in my memory. It has one of my favorite lines in fanfiction ever: “Yes, you would. You’d never leave, the only thing you’d ever have to do is get fucked.”  *SWEATS*

@tonictransistor

I’m going to imagine Tora will be shocked I even included her, but she hardly gives herself enough credit. She’s been the only person who’s managed to get me to enjoy Hux outside of a Kylo/Hux/Reader context. Her sense of humor and sass come through brilliantly in her writing.

Valentine’s Day: I have to be honest. I really enjoy these Hux drabbles. As mentioned, Hux isn’t my guy. But the banter and snark here makes me think maybe he could be my guy.

Untitled: Another Hux/Reader drabble, which I won’t title as “this is dumb” because it isn’t. There’s great sexual tension captured between Reader and Hux, and the unexpected cigarette burn is so salacious.

De-Stressing: This piece is Kylo/Reader—and there’s daddy kink. Look, y’all know I don’t typically go for daddy kink, but this one is enjoyable. If it’s your thing, this is right up your alley.

The tragic story of too much info about the sexual relationship of your best friends or why Alya will forever regret trying to kill Adrien

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @lunian !!!!!!! Remember when we talked about this? Well, I couldn’t resist writing it. I hope you’ll like it. Crack ahead. And if the title wasn’t a dead giveaway, this has some sexual references in it. Nothing happens, but many are said.


“ADRIEN FUCKING DEAD AGRESTE!”

All the people who were still in the courtyard of the Collège Françoise Dupont run for the hills (or in this case, the school building) as Alya Césaire appeared and walked towards her best friend’s boyfriend with all the might of a storm.

“Dude, I think she means you.” Nino stage-whispered to his best friend as his girlfriend made a beeline towards them.

“But my middle name is Bartholomé.” Adrien argued.

Nino rolled his eyes. His best friend really needed to set his priorities straight. “That’s what worries you?”

Adrien gulped. “Burry me in a polka dotted coffin, please.”

Nino was under the impression he wasn’t kidding in the slightest. “Sure, if there is anything left to bury.”

“There won’t be!” Alya snarled as she lifted Adrien by the neck.

Well, this morning is certainly bound to be interesting, Nino thought.


One day, Marinette will be on time to school. One day. Today wasn’t that day. As Marinette speed walked through the school yard she couldn’t help but notice what a beautiful day it was. The sun was shining, birds were singing, Adrien was being strangled by Alya… wait a second.

“Alya!” Marinette shouted, rushing towards them. “Put him down.”

Her best friend was obviously not happy to have to delay her murder. Meanwhile, Nino considered if he should stop filming the whole thing. If Marinette was here, then maybe there won’t be need of proof for the police for a murder. Though, let’s be real, he would never turn his girlfriend in. He would have just posted the video on YouTube in his collection of An Infinity of Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Piss Alya Off. If he was recalling correctly, this video would be number 2749.

“Alya, what is going on? Why are you strangling my boyfriend.” Marinette questioned crossing her arms, while Adrien was gasping for air on the ground.

“Marinette,“ Alya’s tone was regretful and the sad look in her eyes indicated something bad was coming. “I’m sorry to say this honey, but he is cheating on you.”

And in that moment, Marinette felt her whole world crashing down. “What?! With whom?”

Marinette was dying to hear that answer. Who? Did Adrien really cheat on her? Was it some rabid fangirl who jumped at his bones and Alya just got the wrong impression?

Alya sighed. “With Ladybug.”

Marinette blinked. “Damn.” both her and Adrien whispered maybe a little too loudly. Thus Adrien choked, cause he still didn’t regain his proper breathing.

“That’s… unexpected.” Marinette managed to say, trying to think of something plausible to get them out of this situation. She knew it was a bad idea to make out when only one of them was transformed. Damn Adrien and his filthy thirst for her spots. “It isn’t a problem, though, cause… um… this is… an… open… relationship.”

Oh well, not the worst excuse she could have had come with. Alya crossed her arms obviously expecting an explanation while Nino muttered a ‘dude’ under his breath. That’s when Adrien decided to be a supportive boyfriend.

“Yeah. Marinette has her fun times with Ladybug too,” he said, raising his index finger as if that would help him make a point while he was still laying on the ground.

Why is he like this? Marinette sighed internally.

Alya turned to Marinette with an expression that was a mix of shock and anger. “You are hooking up with Ladybug and you didn’t tell me?!”

Marinette glared down at Adrien, who looked sheepish. “Yeah. And don’t forget about Chat Noir.”

“Chat Noir?” both Alya and Nino screamed simultaneously.

“Yeah,” Marinette stated, looking at Adrien, who finally picked himself off the ground, with a mischievous look. “Why don’t you tell us about your escapades with Chat Noir, Adrien?”

Her boyfriend laughed nervously. “What escapade do you mean?”

Marinette smirked. “Well, you did tell me that Chat Noir found you wearing cute yet sexy Ladybug lingerie.”

At this point, Nino had to turn off his camera, unable to hold his phone anymore. “Dudeeeee.”

Alya, to everybody’s surprise, was silent until now. But there was as much as the shock could keep her from asking. "But what about Ladybug?”

“Oh, she thinks the same” Marinette replied calmly while analyzing her nails.

“No, no, I mean, I thought Chat only loves her.”

“Oh that… well, who can resist this model ass?” she asked rhetorically while slapping Adrien’s ass for emphasis. Nino nodded vigorously as well. Honestly, wasn’t it universal knowledge everybody loved Adrien’s ass?

Adrien glared at Marinette. Not for smacking his ass, mind you. He loved getting his ass smacked by her. But for making fun of his taste in lingerie. Well, if this is how she wanted to play, so be it then. “Of course. So if we are discussing this topic, why don’t you mention that time when Chat caught you wearing lingerie inspired by his outfit?”

’Well, don’t try hiding the fact that once you begged Ladybug to tie you with her yoyo.“ Marinette scoffed, trying to hide her blush. That had been an interesting night.

"I need a bucket,” Alya muttered, not sure what to think of her friends and her idol anymore.

“YOU CALLED CHAT NOIR’S DICK AS A BATON!” Adrien shouted louder than necessary, while blushing.

“I guess, I need one too” Nino said, wishing he will just forget everything that had been said so far. And from now on, because apparently Marinette and Adrien weren’t done.

“Remember when you told Chat Noir that you want a collar with a bell too?”

“Oh, really Marinette, should I remind you that one time when I walked on you and Ladybug and you were blindfolded?”

Nino glanced at Alya. “Are we kink shaming them now or later?”

“Then you asked us if you can be blindfolded instead and, I quote ‘used as your little sex toy’.” that had been a strange day. She had an urge to blindfold herself, Adrien came over unannounced and things escalated quickly and she discovered some new kinks of her boyfriend.

“I guess, if we die right here, right this second, they wouldn’t notice it.” Nino states, but Alya was unable to reply anymore, not sure what to make out of this whole conversation.

“You begged Chat Noir to slap you with his tail belt.” Adrien argued back, while his face was putting any ripe tomato to shame.

Marinette screeched. “YOU WERE WEARING MY FAVORITE PINK STOCKINGS.”

“THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT.”

"I’m sure it totally does.”

Adrien scoffed, crossing his arms. “But you can deny they suit me.” he knew she liked them. She even said so that night. They had been a little tight, but she had made him a matching pair better fit for his height.

"Jesus, how many moments like this do they have?” Nino questioned, clearly shocked by how kinky his bro was. And he was sort of afraid fo the answer, if he had to be honest.

“What’s more important, why are we still listening to this mess?” it was Alya’s turn to ask questions that will never get answers. “I’m not even sure if I want to use this thing as blackmail or just erase it from my brain forever.”

“To be honest, it would be much better if Adrien really just cheated on Mari with Ladybug,” Nino said hesitantly, obviously scared of Alya’s reaction. “I mean, I wouldn’t have forgiven him if he ever did that, but at least, in that case, us, innocent bystanders wouldn’t have to be traumatized for life.”

Alya could only nod. Honestly, the mental picture fo Adrien in Ladybug themed lingerie left her with brain damage.

After what seemed like an eternity Adrien and Marinette finished their not so little argument, both huffing and as red in the face as the surface of Mars. Not that anybody would say that out loud, given how much of a nerd Adrien is, he would come with some science facts about the color of the surface of Mars.
.
“So yeah, we have an open relationship.” Marinette concluded, the two of them finally turning to their best friends.

“We got it after the reminder about Chat Noir, thank you.” Nino said, sarcastically.

“Now get outta of my sight, my poor brain had dealt enough with your kinks for now and forever.” Alya ordered waving her hand desperately while rubbing her temple with her free hand.

“Well, if you didn’t want to kill me, none of this would have happened.” Adrien said with a smug smirk.

Alya snarled. "Next time neither Marinette or even fucking Ladybug won’t stop me, Agreste.”

Adrien gulped. Marinette slapped him compassionately on the ass.

Descendants 2

Descendants 2 had a lot of strong points but what this post is going to focus on is the character development in all of the characters.

Mal -

Obviously this movie focused a lot on Mal. She has grown a lot from the first movie but not in a healthy way. She developed some bad habits (spelling things and people) and developed some self image issues. This is a vast difference from our defiant and confident Mal from the first movie. While I don’t like the softer Mal that was shown, even closer to the end of the movie, I like that they explored these identity issues. By the end of the movie Mal has reconnected with her roots, her group and what made her want to change in the first place. I think it leaves us with a strong Mal with more room to grow in the right direction.

Evie -

THIS IS MY GIRL! Gonna be honest, I disliked her in the first movie cause she was a ditz but my girl has come a lonngggg way. Evie grew from a superficial girl into an incredibly smart, talented and confident lady. She has a booming design business and doesn’t take crap from anyone, and right beside her for these changes was her supportive boyfriend Doug. I love the dynamic they have because they are equal to each other, she is the strong one but he will still defend her to princes, he manages her business finances and supports her dreams. BUT she is not a dainty princess and he know he isn’t her “prince” but he is her knight. I will defend this ship with. My. Life. Also, she has a big heart and is fighting for the kids that she grew up with. She is going to be a great advocate for the isle.

Jay -

Jay came a long way from his rule breaking enthusiastic lifestyle. He even obeys the smallest (and more sexist) of rules. We also saw that he became less aggressive than before. It was curious to see him as a responsible captain, and it was very fitting. Through out the rest of the movie we got to see him step up as a leader when Mal was lacking or when something needed to be said. Like when everyone was arguing he calmed them down and when Mal and Evie were chatting about her hair, he took initiative to bring them together. Jay is a born leader and is doing the one thing his father, jafar, could not. Being successful and compassionate in a leadership position. In the end when he forfeits his title as captain to Lonnie(?) so she can join the team that is him doing what is best for the team. She is strong and they needed her. He sacrificed his title for the greater good and I hope that doesn’t go unnoticed.

Carlos -

Our shy boy came a long way as well. Carlos is a more outspoken and confident person. I don’t think he lacked confidence in the first movie but I believe he was more introverted, now we see a more open Carlos who stands his ground. For example, kicking Chad out of his room repeatedly. He is dismissing a prince and gives 0 cares. We also have a slight mention of how he programmed his 3D printer to have really cool hacks and such which references his special abilities with computers. Jay can be physical, Evie can be smart, Mal can be sly and Carlos can hack. This is important. Finally we see our boy finally ask Jane out. Tbh, I didn’t see it. BUT I am not against it. The little dorks make each other happy and they make each other stronger, for Carlos he has someone to protect and for Jane she has someone who makes her feel beautiful which is not to be under-estimated.

Jane -

Jane grew in a few notable ways. She became a more involved and outspoken person than the shy, squeaky girl from the first movie. Now she is coordinating big projects and making sure the schedule is kept to. BUT she is still insecure about herself and you can tell, even the way she thought Carlos wanted to go to the party as friends until he spelled it out for her is a sign of the insecurity. Carlos makes her feel beautiful and while that isn’t the best place to get a confidence boost it is still a wonderful development for a young girls self esteem to have someone like that.

Duke -

well, he/she learned English so that is pretty impressive.

Ben -

Ben was a goodie two-shoes in the first movie. While he developed a wicked streak in the second one, he NEVER abandoned his big heart, which is what truly makes him King Ben. He was trying to tackle the life struggles of ruling a kingdom, dealing with an engagement, helping the project areas and maintaining his grades. We know he had to quit his different sports teams because he didn’t have time, the time he spent with Mal dwindled to near nothing and we know he was overwhelmed. He never complained though. Ben is a strong character who is taking care of business and while he might not be the first to throw a punch he is powerful with words before fists, and he doesn’t let his girlfriend fight all his battles for him. In the end when he still trying to seek peace, preventing what could have been a catastrophic battle, he was doing his duty as a king. He put his life on the line. His biggest development in this movie was seeing the other side of things and understanding just how abused these kids were. It is one thing to hear about it and think you know, but he never really knew.  And Uma abusing his kindness and spelling him didn’t scare him away from continuing to seek justice for these kids. Ben is a good leader.

Lonnie -

In the first movie we never really got to explore her character. We saw that she wasn’t afraid of our lil’ villains and that she was still compassionate towards them but that was it. In this movie she is introduced as a threat. She is powerful and smart just like her mother, and she may be a love interest for Jay which is a perfect math. Talk about power couple, am I right?! I look forward to seeing more of her.

NEW CHARACTERS -

Uma -

You can see the results of abuse and bullying in her personality. All she is looking for is validation. This is the entire point of “Say my name”, she wants to be acknowledged. Her dwarf rats don’t really obey her, they still challenge her constantly and call her “Shrimpy”. While she has issues, there is room for change. I really hope Disney takes the opportunity to properly show kids/people how to interact with someone who comes from that abusive background.

Harry Hook -

Dang.. Uh, not gonna lie, I am so weak to this little out law. I was practically drooling over him, and when he tickled Ben my heart skipped a beat. I could ship that, I wont cause I will be lynched, but I could. I could see him being a bigger problem in the future. He has more of a cutthroat attitude than Uma and it is clear that him and Jay have bad blood. I hope we see much more of that delectable pirate. Gil - I bet you are one that gets to leave the isle. You don’t seem inherently bad, just kinda a dunce. Definitely room for improvement.

Possible Traits of Aspergers in Females

This by no means a comprehensive list, it is simply a reference point, not a diagnostic tool. If you identify with a majority of this list and wish to receive a diagnosis, consult a medical professional, preferably a specialist in autism spectrum disorders who has had experience diagnosing women.

  • Tends to analyze everything constantly
  • Often straightforward and practical in nature.
  • Often gets lost in own thoughts and zones out (may display a blank stare)
  • May appear naive or innocent (despite not being so)
  • Prone to honesty, has difficulty lying
  • May struggle to understand manipulation, disloyalty, vindictive behavior and retaliation.
  • May be gullible and easily taken advantage of, misled, or conned.
  • May have feelings of confusion and isolation in relation to others
  • Escapism frequently used to relax or avoid overwhelming situations.
  • Often holds fixations, obsessions, and extreme interest in specific topics.
  • Finds comfort in escaping through imagination, fantasy, and daydreaming.
  • Often has slower reaction times due to need for mental processing.
  • May have had imaginary friends as a child.
  • Frequently imitates (takes social cues from) people on television or in movies.
  • May obsessively collect, organize, count, categorize, or rearrange objects.
  • Often highly adapted to social imitation.
  • May find math and numbers easier to deal with due to logic and lack of objective answers.
  • May struggle to relax or rest due to many racing thoughts.
  • Often has comorbid conditions, such as OCD, anxiety, ADD or ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, etc.
  • Often has sensory processing disorder (sight, sound, texture, smells, taste)
  • May have dyspraxia (Poor muscle tone, lack of coordination and depth perception)
  • May have dyslexia
  • May have an eating disorder or food obsessions
  • May have been misdiagnosed or diagnosed with other mental illness or possibly labeled a hypochondriac.
  • Tends to drop small objects
  • May frequently engage in “stimming” (self-stimulation) i.e., flicks fingernails, flaps hands, drums fingers, rubs hands/fingers, tucks hands under or between legs, clenches fists, twirls hair, taps foot/shakes leg, sways side to side, spins in circles, bouncing up and down, rocking, etc.
  • May use various noises to express herself rather than using words.
  • May have a tendency to over-share with friends and sometimes strangers
  • May have little impulse control when speaking
  • May accidently dominate conversation at times.
  • Often relates discussion back to self (sharing as a means of reaching out)
  • May be incorrectly seen as narcissistic
  • Often sounds eager or over-zealous at times.
  • May feels as if she is attempting to communicate “correctly.”
  • Often struggles with and is confused by the unwritten social rules of accurate eye contact, tone of voice, proximity of body, stance, and posture in conversation.
  • Eye contact often takes extreme focus, which may lead an individual’s eye contact to be darting and insufficient, or over-the-top staring/glaring.
  • May have difficulty regulating voice volume to different situations. Is frequently observed as being either too loud or too quiet.
  • Conversation, specifically small talk, can be exhausting.
  • May have trouble focusing on/engaging in conversation that is not centered on one’s primary interests.
  • May observe and question the actions and behaviors of self and others continually.
  • May have difficulty with back-and-forth conversation
  • Trained self in social interactions through readings and studying of other people.
  • Visualizes and practices how she will act around others and before entering various social situations.
  • Difficulty filtering out background noise when talking to others.
  • Has a continuous dialogue in mind that tells her what to say and how to act when in a social situations.
  • Sense of humor sometimes seems quirky, odd, or different from others.
  • As a child, it may have been hard to know when it was her turn to talk, may still be true as an adult.
  • Often finds the norms of conversation confusing.
  • Tend to say what they mean. Are often brutally honest, coming off as rude when they do not mean to be.
  • May feel misunderstood and tend to over-explain/ramble in an attempt to compensate for possible miscommunication.
  • Feels extreme relief when she doesn’t have to go anywhere, talk to anyone, answer calls, or leave the house.
  • Feelings of dread about upcoming events and appointments on the calendar.
  • Knowing she has to leave the house causes anxiety from the moment she wakes up.
  • The steps involved in leaving the house are overwhelming and exhausting to think about.
  • Must prepare herself mentally for outings, excursions, meetings, and appointments.
  • Question next steps and movements continually.
  • Often needs a large amount of down time or alone time.
  • May feel extremely self-conscious and uncomfortable in public locker rooms, bathrooms, or dressing rooms.
  • Tends to dislike being in crowded areas.
  • Difficulty sleeping due to sensitivity to environment
  • May be highly intuitive to others’ feelings, although may not appear to react to them ‘correctly’ in social situations
  • May take criticism and judgement very personally
  • May frequently adapt her viewpoints or actions based on others’ opinions
  • Dislikes words and events that hurt animals and people.
  • May have had a desire to collect or rescue animals, usually in childhood.
  • Often holds great compassion for suffering.
  • May try to help, offer unsolicited advice, or formalize plans of action.
  • Imitates others without realizing.
  • May exhibit codependent behaviors.
  • May frequently reject or question social norms.
  • Chameleon-like in social situations. Often switches preferences and behaviours based on environment and other people.
  • May outwardly appear to have little investment in hygiene, clothes, or appearance, often prefers fast and easy methods of style.
  • Clothing style is likely more focused on comfort and practicality, especially in the case of sensory issues.
  • May possess a youthful appearance and/or voice.
  • May have trouble recognizing what she looks like and/or has slight prosopagnosia (difficulty recognizing or remembering faces).
  • The emotions of oneself and others may seem confusing, illogical, and unpredictable.
  • Expects that by acting a certain way certain results can be achieved, but realizes in dealing with emotions, those results don’t always manifest.
  • Often speaks frankly and literally.
  • Certain kinds of humor, such as sarcasm and metaphors, may be difficult to understand.
  • Can be confused when others ostracize, shun, belittle, trick, and betray.
  • Often has trouble identifying feelings in others unless they are extreme.
  • Trouble with the emotions of hate and dislike.
  • May have feelings of pity for someone who has persecuted/hurt her.
  • Situations and conversations sometimes perceived as black or white.
  • The middle spectrum of outcomes, events, and emotions is sometimes overlooked or misunderstood. (All or nothing mentality).
  • May notices patterns frequently.
  • May be fascinated by words or song lyrics.
  • Tends to best remember/learn things in visual pictures (visual thinkers).
  • May have a remarkable memory for certain details, i.e., may find it surprisingly easy to remembers exact details about someone’s life.
  • Executive function is often a challenge
  • Learning to ride a bike or drive a car may be rather difficult.
  • Anything that requires a reasonable amount of steps, dexterity, or know-how can rouse a sense of panic.
  • The thought of repairing, fixing, or locating something can cause anxiety.
  • May have a hard time finding certain objects in the house, but remembers with exact clarity where other objects are.
  • May frequently second-guess oneself and ask a lot of questions before engaging a task or situation

This list was compiled from various personal accounts and symptom lists. It is subjective and does not include every identifiable trait. Nor is it entirely medically accurate. Please do your own research into AS before self-diagnosing. 

When reblogging, feel free to add additional traits you believe to be common in AS females that will be useful for others to know.

Okay but...

When Jon told Sansa in front of everybody that the North is hers, everyone is jumping too “Well, that shut her up real quick” as if she’s greedy and wanted the North. When obviously, it shut her up because Jon just validated her, she said last episode “Would that be so terrible?” when he asked if he was to follow her advice to be smarter, you can literally see the awe and appreciation mixed in with shock in her face. She’s so used to be looked over because she’s a girl, and Westerosi society is male dominated, but here she was validated for the first time in FOREVER as being a Stark, NOT a Bolton, NOT a Lannister, NOT a pawn, but and honest to gods Stark who deserved every bit on respect the name has drawn for centuries in a line of Kings and Wardens. Jon was named King of the North, but he still recognizes that Sansa is a Stark and that her rightful place will always be Winterfell, and her power will always be the North.


TL;DR I’m not crying, YOU ARE 

Pride and Prejudice, and Consent

Time to cleanse the palate with a bit of positive relationship analysis!

One of the tropes that plagues, and has plagued, romance fiction ever since the invention of the novel is the idea of female consent not being necessary as long as the male is desirable and/or really wants her. Often, the heroine will succumb either to her own desires or his, whether she is entirely willing to do so or not, and that is framed as being analogous with passion—even love.

Well, two hundred years before Fifty Shades of Grey played fast and loose with consent issues, I present to you the antithesis of this trope in Mr. Darcy of Pemberley.

Elizabeth Bennet, the heroine of Pride and Prejudice, receives two proposals of marriage that are eerily similar, despite the outward differences of her two suitors. Mr. Collins and Mr. Darcy both spring unexpected and unwelcome proposals of marriage on her, calling to light her family’s lack of financial security and connection, seeing themselves as condescending to offer for her, and being completely perplexed by her refusal to accept them.

Elizabeth to Collins: You could not make me happy, and I am convinced I am the last woman in the world who would make you so.

Elizabeth to Darcy: I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.“

Elizabeth’s words leave no ambiguity for either gentleman: she soundly rejects them both in a similar fashion. From this, readers may infer that since Darcy and Elizabeth end up together, it is Darcy who is persistent in his romantic intentions after Elizabeth has said “no.” But in fact, it is Collins who refuses to take no for an answer, and Darcy who never oversteps his bounds.

The first thing Collins says after he hears her rejection is that she cannot be serious in her refusal. 

 "I am not now to learn,” replied Mr. Collins, with a formal wave of the hand, “that it is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept, when he first applies for their favour; and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second or even a third time. I am therefore by no means discouraged by what you have just said, and shall hope to lead you to the altar ere long.”

So elevated is his own sense of self-worth that she has to explain to him that she did, in fact, mean what she said:

  “Upon my word, sir,” cried Elizabeth, “your hope is rather an extraordinary one after my declaration. I do assure you that I am not one of those young ladies (if such young ladies there are) who are so daring as to risk their happiness on the chance of being asked a second time. I am perfectly serious in my refusal.”

What is the result? Collins still doesn’t take no for an answer, again:

  “Were it certain that Lady Catherine would think so,” said Mr. Collins very gravely – “but I cannot imagine that her ladyship would at all disapprove of you. And you may be certain that when I have the honour of seeing her again, I shall speak in the highest terms of your modesty, economy, and other amiable qualifications.”

  “Indeed, Mr. Collins, all praise of me will be unnecessary. You must give me leave to judge for myself, and pay me the compliment of believing what I say.”

And again:

  "When I do myself the honour of speaking to you next on this subject, I shall hope to receive a more favourable answer than you have now given me; though I am far from accusing you of cruelty at present, because I know it to be the established custom of your sex to reject a man on the first application, and perhaps you have even now said as much to encourage my suit as would be consistent with the true delicacy of the female character.”

  “Really, Mr. Collins,” cried Elizabeth with some warmth, “you puzzle me exceedingly. If what I have hitherto said can appear to you in the form of encouragement, I know not how to express my refusal in such a way as may convince you of its being one.”

And again:

   "You must give me leave to flatter myself, my dear cousin, that your refusal of my addresses is merely words of course. My reasons for believing it are briefly these: – It does not appear to me that my hand is unworthy your acceptance, or that the establishment I can offer would be any other than highly desirable. My situation in life, my connections with the family of De Bourgh, and my relationship to your own, are circumstances highly in my favour; and you should take it into farther consideration that, in spite of your manifold attractions, it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made you. Your portion is unhappily so small, that it will in all likelihood undo the effects of your loveliness and amiable qualifications. As I must therefore conclude that you are not serious in your rejection of me, I shall chuse to attribute it to your wish of increasing my love by suspense, according to the usual practice of elegant females.“

   ”I do assure you, sir, that I have no pretension whatever to that kind of elegance which consists in tormenting a respectable man. I would rather be paid the compliment of being believed sincere. I thank you again and again for the honour you have done me in your proposals, but to accept them is absolutely impossible. My feelings in every respect forbid it. Can I speak plainer? Do not consider me now as an elegant female, intending to plague you, but as a rational creature, speaking the truth from her heart.“

And again:   

"You are uniformly charming!” cried he, with an air of awkward gallantry; “and I am persuaded that, when sanctioned by the express authority of both your excellent parents, my proposals will not fail of being acceptable.”

In fact, Collins only stops pursuing Elizabeth when her father puts his foot down and backs her refusal. Pride and Prejudice is a comedy, and so the tone is light on the surface, but beneath the satire is a very real, earnest desire to communicate how often women’s words—even their consent—are dismissed as fickle or inconsequential. Seeing our heroine not fleeing dramatically from a villain, but pursued by an entitled man who doesn’t take her words seriously, we feel Elizabeth’s sense of outrage and how belittling it is for Collins to act this way.

By contrast, though we might imagine a love interest like Darcy to be overcome with passion and try to make her his own by any means, Darcy is remarkably restrained and respectful without ever losing his ardent love for the woman he wants to marry. The first divergence of his response from Collins’ occurs right after he has been rejected:

   "And this is all the reply which I am to have the honour of expecting! I might, perhaps, wish to be informed why, with so little endeavour at civility, I am thus rejected. But it is of small importance.“

The wording here is important. He doesn’t demand that she explain why she rejected him, but rather why she was so impolite about doing so (since he has no knowledge of her dislike of him). He continues to be honest about his objections to her family’s behavior and place in the world, and to be angry at her for defending the duplicitous Wickham, but he never tries to convince her that she was wrong in rejecting him, even though he still views her as a social inferior.

After their heated conversation, Darcy leaves with an apology that he has occupied her for so long:

   "You have said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings, and have now only to be ashamed of what my own have been. Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time, and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness.”

This is a far cry from Collins following Elizabeth around after the proposal and trying to go over her head to her parents for support.

But wait—doesn’t the love interest write Elizabeth a letter, convincing her to give him another chance?

No. Both Darcy’s letter and its method of delivery are respectful of Elizabeth’s boundaries and her refusal of him.

It should be noted that an unmarried gentlewoman receiving letters from a man she was not engaged to resulted in scandal if it were ever exposed. If Darcy had wanted to compel Elizabeth to marry him, he would only have had to deliver the letter publicly, or through the post. Instead, he delivers the letter in person, when they are alone in a park and there is no chance of discovery. It is still a bit of a risk, though, and so he asks (not demands) that she read it:

“Will you do me the honour of reading that letter?“

Right from the beginning, Darcy reassures Elizabeth that he is not trying to impose on her or get her to accept him after she has made her wishes clear:

 "Be not alarmed, madam, on receiving this letter, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments or renewal of those offers which were last night so disgusting to you. 

While it is more than apparent that her rejection stung and he is still in love with her, he never brings up the subject of the proposal again—the contents are a defense of the charges she had laid against his character, as well as a warning against Wickham for her own safety. He doesn’t ask for a second chance or demand she reconsider her words, even in light of this new information. Moreover, he trusts her with the knowledge of his sister’s near-elopement with Wickham (which could cause a scandal if discovered), thus risking as much by delivering the letter as Elizabeth does by accepting it. In every way, he trusts her judgment and keeps her wishes in mind.

When they meet again at Pemberley, Darcy is trying to reform his behavior. He is cordial to her tradesman uncle and aunt, and has divested himself of the haughtiness that prevented her from seeing his true worth initially. Darcy does not give himself permission to pursue Elizabeth as a result of this change in character; it is only after they have met and talked cordially that he asks her, not to speak with him alone, but to meet his sister. In fact, he resists making romantic overtures for the duration of the visit, which ends abruptly when Elizabeth discovers her sister’s elopement with Wickham. And even there, when she and Darcy are accidentally alone during her distress, he makes no move to use the occasion as an excuse to “comfort” her with his advances. His reaction is, in fact, quite the opposite:

 "I am afraid you have been long desiring my absence, nor have I anything to plead in excuse of my stay, but real, though unavailing, concern.”

Another opportunity arises for Darcy to compel Elizabeth to marry him, this time out of gratitude. Unable to see Elizabeth so wretched, he finds Lydia and Wickham in London and, at great expense, convinces them to marry. He saves not only her sister’s reputation but that of her entire family. Yet rather than use that as an example to Elizabeth of what a good person he is, he forbids her aunt and uncle from mentioning that it was he who saved the Bennets’ good name. Elizabeth doesn’t even know he was involved until Lydia thoughtlessly gives the game away (after she, too, was sworn to secrecy).  

How then, do Lizzy and Darcy get together? It is Elizabeth herself who gives Darcy a reason to believe her opinion of him has improved. During a verbal duel with Darcy’s formidable aunt, she comes out the winner and point-blank refuses to give Lady Catherine a promise not to pursue Mr. Darcy. Lady Catherine petulantly tries to cut the problem off at the source by relating everything to her nephew. It works about as well as you’d expect.

 But, unluckily for her ladyship, its effect had been exactly contrariwise.

   "It taught me to hope,“ said he, "as I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before. I knew enough of your disposition to be certain, that had you been absolutely, irrevocably decided against me, you would have acknowledged it to Lady Catherine, frankly and openly.”

What prompts Darcy to renew his offer of marriage is nothing more or less than evidence that Elizabeth had seen his change of heart and accepted it.

“You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once.My affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever.”

Above is Darcy’s second proposal. After hearing her first rejection, he takes her at her word, respectfully gives her information that might have led her to mistaken conclusions about him, leaves even before he is asked to, reforms his own behavior, never takes advantage of their being alone to make unwanted advances, assists her and her family without taking any credit, and once he has seen enough signs to think she might accept him, renews his offer once and only once. If she says no again, unlike Collins, he will not continue to pester her or seek her out. He will not try to convince her that her decision was wrong. It is a sad statement on society that this is a remarkable thing, no less in the real world than in fiction, and all too prevalent in heroes of romance even two hundred years later. There is no shortage of love interests who mistake passion for permission, conflict for consent, and adversity for flirtation—but there is also no excuse for this to continue, particularly now. If a novel published in 1813 can understand the letter and spirit of consent, I think we can do better in our own time.


EDIT: Continued here.

to be honest, i’m still baffled by Chris Wood’s sarcastic “because your sexuality is all about others’ perceptions” comment. 

because… if you’re a fictional character, then…. literally yes, it is. a fictional character’s sexuality has no objective reality. the context of the conversation was about a fictional character, so what the fuck other basis would one use to determine it? sorry, Chris, i can’t walk up to Lena Luthor in real life and ask her if she fucks girls. 

why did he feel the need to throw his irrelevant ass comment into that at all?  

anonymous asked:

hello!! i love your writing so much omg! it would be really cool if you did a jily musical theatre au, but no pressure. have a nice day!

  • ‘i dont even like you’ james tells lily, lying, when theyre both cast as leads
  • james’ only reference to any musical being high school musical and its only then when he realises they never even PERFORMED THE PLAY it was JUST THE CALL BACK and lily tells him to SHUT UP because HES YELLING and also EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW THAT 

  • lily joined cause music + acting = Her Shit and also slughorn is the director and he insisted on having her audition 

  • lilys always loosing her script and then taking james’ and trying to make him think hes the one whose lost his lines

  • sirius heckles every rehersal

  • remus is on lighting and james tries to bribe him to make it go dark whenever lily speaks but lily hears him and tips her coffee down his front 

  • in rehersals during the bit where theyre meant to kiss james kisses his hand and lily just squints at him bc the fuck was that rlly necesseary he could have just kissed nothing what a weirdo

  • james being A Smug Shite whenver he sings bc he knows hes good and lily is so sick of his talent she could physically die 

  • except like. annoyingly they have the same taste in music so when theyre in their dressing rooms she’ll bang on their shared wall and tell him to turn up Melodrama or smth and he’ll smile a little

  • at one point sirius paints a fake tree yellow just for The Drama Of It All and slughorn is Next Level Pissed and lily and james cant stop laughing

  • james: ‘wheres the coffee’ *lily, having drunk the entire pot out of spite earlier that morning bc james said she looked like a falmingo in her pink legwarmers, shaking slightly,: SAY WHAT BITCH

  • lily keeps improvising funny lines and james trying not to laugh each time
  • they move out of the rough rehersal stage and everyone knows their lines now and shit is getting real and sirius has been thrown off the props team 7 times but somehow keeps getting back on it 
  • lily still doesnt like him but like damn. boy is funny. boy can sing. boy looks like that and can do 5 cartwheels in a row. 
  •  they do arm wrestling and james never lets her win but lily always cheats anyway 
  • he writes his english essays and shes all ‘youve spelt ‘produce’ wrong how can u even do that’ and ‘stop calling hamlet great ok he did the dirty on opehlia and im sick of pretending like im okay with it’ 
  • james sitting in the directors chair despite a) not being the director and b) required to be on stage for a scene at the time 
  • her car doesnt start and theyre standing in the theatre parking lot, everyone else at home, and he wont leave unless she does and she wont leave her car overnight so they sit on her bonnet and talk about hamlet and high school musical and how theyre similar 
  • lily says i cant hit the high note and james, without thinking says yes you can. youre excellent and everyone is staring at him and he goes bright red

  • the bit where theyre supposed to kiss only this time theyre v close to each other and its lily can feel his breath on her face. see her reflection in his glasses. she looks winded. she feels like it. 
  • once he walks out in her costume on stage and she laughs so hard she falls into sirius’ yellow tree which he keeps putting up 
  • lily skulling coffee and then doing her solo and going off stage while slughorn wipes away tears 
  • theyre in dress rehersals now and its all happening and even when james is looking at someone else hes really looking at her 
  • opening night and james is so nervous and in the minute before the curtain goes up she just. grabs his wrist. and suddenly he is a flood of calm 
  • sirius holding up a sign when it gets to the kiss that says ‘NOW FUCK’ 
  • there is 11 shows and by show 7 james and lily are honest to god having contests to see who can skull the most mountain dew and then do their solo and slughorn is In Dispair 
  • the show is still fucking excellent tho
  • closing night and lilys walking to her car only now shes never going to have another reason to kiss him again and that just. is a huge fucking problem actually 
  • james being literally shoved up againist the bathroom wall about five minutes later after lily has tracked him down and hes liked her all this time and now shes kissing him for no apparent reason and goddamn hes so lucky 
Forbidden (harry styles au)

ahi hi hi, i know it’s been so long. sorry. i’m trying to enjoy my last few days of break before hell breaks loose. this is a smutty writing piece because it was that kind of mood and i haven’t posted any writing in a while so i apologize. hope you enjoy! xx M 

Originally posted by kissableandsexy

warning: contains mature content (mostly smut) 


“Mother, I will not get married to a man I hardly know!” Princess Y/N shouts at her mother with an angry and frustrated tone. 

“Y/N! You do not have a choice. We need our allies and if that means giving you away to another kingdom, then we shall do it.” The Queen speaks in a firm, condescending tone as she glares at her daughter with cold eyes.

Y/N feels the tears well up in her eyes, “But I do not even know who this man is. I haven’t even seen him and you’re already discussing a wedding date when I haven’t even met the man!”

The Queen lets out an exasperated sigh, sitting down next her daughter on the cushioned bench in the palace library. It was a place Y/N came whenever she was upset because no one ever came in here except her. 

“Look sweetheart,” she puts a hand on her shoulder as if she’s trying to comfort her but it doesn’t help at all. “We need an alliance and the Kingdom of Saphina want an alliance too. This is why we need to have a political marriage otherwise if there is a rebellion, we won’t have anyone to fight with us. We will lose our men.”

Y/N closes her eyes, clenching her dress in her hand tightly because she knows it’s a lie or at least, there’s some things that her mother is leaving out. Like how her selfish Father wants more land and giving away his daughter to a large and powerful kingdom such as Saphina will cause him to gain more power. Is her mother even aware of that? Of how selfish that is?

Keep reading

it's you (that makes my heart beat)

The first letter appears when she is thirteen. She feels a burning sensation on her wrist, panic flaring at the sudden pain but it quickly turns to excitement when she sees the ink form into the shape of a T.


She shows her parents, happy at the thought of soon meeting her soulmate. The first thing she does is Google names with the letter T.


She’s fourteen when she meets Ty. He hasn’t gotten any letters yet and she’s not quite sure she loves him, yet. But it could be him. They date, she kisses him, she feels empty.


She asks her mom how she felt when she met her dad and She deflates when the lovesick poetic description of feeling complete and ethereal love. She’s never felt like that with Ty.


She’s fifteen and She knows it’s not him, he knows it’s not her. She hates the way his eyes light up when he meets her friend (teammate), Amanda. And she hates the look that mirrors Amanda. And they both still don’t have any letters but they are hanging out all the time. It doesn’t bother her until they start excluding her. It’s then when she no longer can live in denial.


It’s petty, she’s jealous and she does something stupid.


She sends the picture to Ty and it all comes crashing down. They fight, she can’t remember what’s said but she knows it’s harsh but what kills her is when he shows her the A on his wrist. But it’s what he says afterwards that completely breaks her.


“Hopefully you never meet your soulmate because you don’t deserve them.”


And it angers her so much because it’s true. She knocks his tooth out (they put it back).


That night a R appears after the T. It’s bittersweet she thinks as she feels asleep with tears in her eyes. She uses her watch to cover her wrist after that day and vows tip forget about her soulmate. 



Trini’s twelve when she gets the K. It’s bittersweet. 


She’s sitting at the dining table with her parents when she starts to feel like someone is dragging a razor across her skin. She lifts her sleeve up and jumps in astonishment as black ink begins to form a letter. Her parents watch in excitement with her and when the letter becomes clear they start spouting off names with the letter K; Kevin, Kyle, Karl. Trini’s heart breaks a little because she knows (hopes) that the name will be different. 


She thinks of Katie the cute girl who sits in front of her in English. Of Keisha who always smiles at her in the hallways. She wishes she could tell her parents. She wishes she could be honest. She wishes her parents would understand when she’s ready.


She brings Katie over for a study date. Katie who still hasn’t gotten any letters but has seen the K on her wrist and smiles often at her. Sometime later Katie leans over and lands a peck on her lips. Trini feels her face heat up. They go back to studying even though Trini can’t concentrate anymore. She can’t stop thinking about Katie’s soft lips. She can’t stop thinking about how nice it felt. She’s not sure if Katie is her soulmate but she wouldn’t mind kissing her again. 


They’ve been together for almost a year and Trini thinks she’s in love, she believes they might be soulmates. She feels the happiest she’s ever been. She still hasn’t told her parents but the suspicious looks her mother gives her makes her insides hurt. 


It’s when she’s thirteen that her world falls apart.


Katie comes in and She can tell that the girl is trying to contain her excitement but she’s bubbling with energy.


“I got my first letter.” Trini can tell the girl is trying (and failing) to sound disappointed.


It feels like her heart stutters. Katie reveals her wrist and a D is there flaring back at her.


“I’m sorry. Good luck with finding your soulmate.”


Trini never looks back up. Katie leaves and she doesn’t move. She feels empty in a way that it hurts. For the next week she refuses to go to school, refuses to answer her parents’ concerned questions and only eats the bare minimum. 


She gets an I following the K after that. But she’s numb, she doesn’t care. She could get a full name and still not be sure that she has found her soulmate. So many people share the same name. She’s not going to get hurt again. 


They move a month later.


She’s fourteen when her parents bring over Kaleb from church. She hates him. Hates the way his shirt is tucked into his jeans all nice and proper, hates how he addresses her parents as sir and ma'am, hates how he keeps trying to discreetly (and fails) glance at her bracelet covered wrist. She sees the T on his wrist and almost feels sorry for him. She ignores him throughout dinner as her parents encourage (push) her to converse with him.


“You’re wasting your time.” Trini finally mumbles without looking up but the silence that follows tells her that the whole table heard.


Her mother excuses her little brothers who take the chance and run to their room.


“I’m not your soulmate.” She finally looks at the boy.  She shows him her wrist, the two letters causing a delusury burning (she wishes she could rip her skin off), relief crosses his face and Trini scoffs.


“What are you waiting for, you know where the door is?” She pushes her plate away, not that she has ate much.  


“Trini that’s no way to treat our guest.” Her mom scolds her with a glare as Kaleb shifts uncomfortably in his seat, itching to get out of this place (just like Trini). 


“Why didn’t you tell us?” Her father presses gently.


It’s eating at her and if she holds it any longer she’ll drown. It comes from the back of her throat before she can think of the repercussions.


“Because I’m gay!”


Kaleb leaves after that. Her nightmares come true, her mom starts yelling at her amd she sits their unresponsive which only serves to fuel her mother’s anger. She yells at her for embarrassing her in front of a guest, for hiding things, and for saying nonsense. But what hurts more than her mother’s anger is the silence and look of disappointment from her father.


They move within three days.


The silence continues on her behalf. She didn’t think it could hurt more. But then her mother starts spouting off names again. Kirk, Killian, Kile. She starts avoiding dinners.


It’s not hard to find someone who deals. She does it to piss her mom off. She does it to forget. To feel something other than pain. The first time she smokes weed she has a coughing fit and wonders how the hell someone can like this shit. But eventually she gets the hang of it. She’s floating in a euphoric high, nothing can touch her.


Her vice (escape) only lasts a few months before her mom catches her. Finds a joint while snooping through her stuff. They threaten to send her to rehab. They move again.


Her mother’s questions continue but now a monthly urine test is added to the conversations. She stops if just to get her mother off her back. But she wonders what her  next vice will be.


At times when she’s showering, she considers grabbing the razor and dragging it across her wrist destroying the letters that only seem to bring her problems. But she can never being herself to do it.


She considers getting a tattoo to cover it. She knows a guy who’ll do it even though she’s a minor. She makes an appointment, shows up. It’s really sketchy, in his living room but he pulls out a brand new clean needle but before he can bring the needle to her skin she retracts. She needs to know the full mame first, know that her mother is wrong and that she’s not confused.


But she feels bad wasting this guys time so instead she opts for something different. She ends up getting a black and yellow sabre tooth tiger on her left shoulder. She knows her parents would kill her if they ever find out but that thought encourages her to go through with it. It stings in a way similar to when she got her letters.


She’s fifteen when her parents decide to move again. Destination: Angel Grove.


She doesn’t hate it as much as she thought she would. Her new vice becomes tai chi and heavy metal.


Not long after she turns 15 she gets her third letter. She sitting in the back row of her biology classroom when the familiar stinging sensation bolts her from her thoughts. The letter M appears and her breath catches as she glances up to look at the girl sitting a few seats ahead of her. Former head cheerleader fallen from grace, that’s as much as Trini knows.


It could be her or there could be different name on the girl’s wrist. Trini doesn’t want to know. 


She books it from class as soon as the bell rings and heads for the cliff. She runs, what’s the point of knowing her soulmate if her parents will force her to move eventually.


That night she meets the group of misfits. She thinks she dies but somehow wakes up alive and well in her bed the next morning. She wonders for a few minutes which option would’ve been better.


The day gets weirder but besides getting pulled over a cliff by none other than Kimberly Hart, the girl does not seem to act any different around her. Trini buries the disappointment and deems that the girl is not her soulmate.


And that thought is what makes her not run away and actually form a cautious friendship with Kimberly. Any doubts she has quickly fade, being around Kim is easy. She hasn’t felt quite is relaxed like this in a long time. She thinks she doesn’t need her soulmate when she has her friends, when she has Kim.



Kim can’t help but think it would be so easy if Jason Scott was her soulmate. He’s caring and kind but she has absolutely no romantic feelings for him. She has a T and an R on her wrist, and he has a W on one wrist and a Z on the other. He doesn’t talk about it, she doesn’t ask but she tells him everything and it helps that he forgives her for what she’s done considering she still hasn’t managed to forgive herself.


She grows closer to the rangers but closer to Trini. The girl whose like a grumpy cat but if she likes you, you’re one of the lucky ones. She’s not sure when it happens but they’re at the donut shop and it hits her. She doesn’t feel lonely anymore. 


Rita happens and she doesn’t have much time to dwell on her feelings. She hasn’t felt anger as heavy as when she sees the marks on Trini’s neck and she knows that when she gets the chance she’ll make Rita regret ever laying a hand on Trini.


Billy dies, Billy comes back to life and Rita gets bitch slapped into space. Things seem to finally be settling down.


They are all still friends and Trini’s still there. Kim can’t help but think how lucky she is to have her in her life, and she’ll do whatever she can to deserve her friendship.


A few weeks after the Goldar incident and Kim finds herself sitting on Trini’s couch for a Netflix marathon. Trini’s parents are out of town visiting family for the weekend and the boys had plans to work on Jason’s truck, which makes Kim glad she can spend some alone time with Trini.


3 things happen at once.


One: Trini reaches leans forward towards the popcorn and her sleeveless shirt shifts and Kimberly catches sight of yellow and black saber tooth tiger on her left shoulder. She feels her mouth go dry, stomach tighten and a slight throb between her legs. Her face heats up as she realizes she’s turned on by discovering that Trini has a tattoo. It hits her that she’s attracted to her best friend.


Two: the familiar burning sensation on her wrist comes. She moves her watch slightly to see a new letter begin to form. An I. Her heartbeat is so loud she hears it thumping in her ears. It’s like being thrown in cold water and she wonders how she never considered the possibility that the girl in front of her could be her soulmate. She looks at Trini and wonders if she knows, if she has any letters. It’s that moment that all the feelings she has been experiencing lately begin to make sense.


Three: as Trini reaches for the popcorn bowl her bracelets on her left hand shift and Kimberly catches sight of the three letters marking the skin. She freezes and her blood runs cold. Thoughts race through her head. Trini knew and never told her and there has to be a reason for that. She doesn’t want her, why else keep it a secret.


She goes through a rollercoaster of emotions in the span of a few seconds. Arousal, joy, (it’s a goal high) and then the hurt (a goal low). And it really fucking hurts knowing that your soulmate doesn’t want you, that you don’t deserve them.


She stands abruptly, the tv control falling to the wooden floor with a clash.


“Kim?” Trini turns to her with worry.


She runs.

Storm in the Room

Wow. 

So much to talk about! Okay, let’s begin. Steven is telling Connie about the stuff he experienced and then Connie starts worrying about her mother. She’s NEVER this late coming to pick her up. But then she DOES show up and the two hug and embrace and share a little bond in front of Steven…who’s left alone to make his own dinner with nobody else in the house. For a few minutes…it’s all just somber solitude. 

Then he begins reminiscing about his Mom. Wishing that he could just get answers from her. His gem begins shining…and his room opens!

At first, having his mother pop up, manifested by the room is great. They play video games together. They play sports and do the classic Charlie Brown football bit with her pulling a “Lucy” and pulling the ball away. 

It’s all sweet and lovely and Steven’s overcome with a sense of real mother/son bonding, so much so he can’t HELP but cry. He finally feels and looks like he really has a mom. He wants to take a picture with him and her.

But when he goes to, the illusion shatters. It’s just…him. 

Him talking to himself.


And therein, it gets dark. He opens up MORE. He admits that he’s mad. Mad that she did so much that seems so hypocritical. Steven is furious with her. He had all these expectations of her. But she’s not the big, flawless, beautiful smiling being in the picture that’s always hanging in the living room, she’s more than that, and he’s not really sure he LIKES what else she is. And above all…he’s mad at the fact that she just left…and it seems like she left HIM to clean up HER messes.

At first, the replica of his mom says nothing. Then…she brings up what he knows is the truth. One of the things he’s SURE is honest. The tape she made of her…saying she so wishes she could be there for him. 

And Steven finally confronts not his mother…but himself. As the room cries through rain along with himself, for the room is himself. The room brings out his own views, it is a reflection of himself, just like Rose is right now. Steven knows, deep down, that she didn’t want him to deal with HER problems. But he has to anyway. She didn’t ask for this. HE didn’t ask for it. But it doesn’t ultimately matter. Homeworld still has to be dealt with. You can’t really control what others do. But you CAN control how you react to what they do. Steven will have to face the future, come what may. And luckily for Steven…

He’s not going to be alone.

I love all the posts about the sensates but I feel like Sun deserves more praise. All the other sensates have a friend, a partner or a family member but so far she has been utterly alone facing all the bullshit with her brother and yet she is so kind and fierce and I love her so much